Chapter Text
-- golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 19:27 --
GT: I managed to best that blasted tin can of yours.
GT: Took a lot of work and roughhousing but i knocked him down a peg or two.
TT: You beat Brobot?
GT: Sure did. You're looking at a first-class hunter here.
GT: Nothing escapes these scopes.
TT: I didn't think aiming was your style. More pointing in a direction and shooting without rhyme or reason.
GT: Who cares about the blasted details i did it!
TT: Congratulations. We can move you up from "Novice" to "Beginner."
GT: Har har strider.
GT: You know damn well im past beginner.
TT: Right. It's settled, then.
TT: I'll set him to "Amateur."
GT: Oh screw you!!!
GT: Ive got a killer robot tied up in my room i deserve at least the title of "master."
TT: We'll discuss it once he's repaired.
TT: How'd you do it, anyway?
GT: Well i was going for a dip in the shade to help cool off from this heat wave when suddenly he jumped me.
GT: We tussled for a bit and then i managed to get him under the waterfall and held him there until he stopped moving.
TT: He's waterproof.
GT: That's why i tied him up!
TT: You know ropes won't hold him, right?
GT: Oh shut it! He's been lying motionless for the past few hours.
TT: Of course. The killer robot would never play dead.
GT: I bet you i could push him around and he would do jack shit right now.
TT: That all depends on whether or not he counts this as a win for you.
TT: He's programmed to be docile while waiting for new instructions.
GT: Well he doesnt seem to do much when i kick at his side.
TT: Playing dirty? I thought you were more gentlemanly than that, Jake.
GT: Like he doesnt do the same. If i had a nickel for every time his bot kicked me while i was down i could buy a yacht and sail away from this damn island.
GT: Maybe ill bring him along as my first mate!
GT: Jake english and his robot compadre scourge of the seven seas!
TT: I didn't take you for the piracy type.
TT: Are you sure it wouldn't just be you cruising around like a pompous millionaire?
GT: Why would you want to join me?
TT: I could be convinced.
TT: What kind of amenities does this boat ride come with?
GT: Hm. Well wed have a robot butler.
TT: Oh, he's a butler now?
GT: Why not?
GT: I will say i think hed look rather spiffy in a suit.
TT: And who would take up the mantle of 'first mate?'
GT: You of course!
GT: I wouldn't want anyone else.
TT: Just a few minutes ago you were saying you'd have Brobot.
GT: Well hes really just a stand-in for you.
GT: Maybe i might play a bit of pretend while hes down for the count.
GT: Its almost like you're really here!
GT: Ill just prop him up on my bed like so...
TT: Careful, don't let him get too comfortable.
TT: He might make it a habit. Next thing you know, you'll be the one sleeping on the jungle floor while he gets his beauty sleep.
GT: Nonsense theres enough space for both of us to lay down.
GT: Sure it might be a little snug but whats a cuddle between bros?
GT: Hes a lot less sharp than i would have thought.
TT: Are you seriously spooning Brobot right now?
GT: I just wanted to prove a point!
GT: God forbid i want to make sure theres room when my best bud eventually comes over.
GT: For now though i will have to chill with the robot.
GT: Say this isnt half bad. Who would have thought a deadly robot would be such a cuddler?
TT: That's ridiculous, he isn't even in companion mode.
GT: Companion mode?
TT: Nevermind.
GT: No whats companion mode?
TT: It's just a setting I added when building him. It'd be more of a hassle to turn it on.
GT: Aww come on please?
TT: No.
GT: You send me a robot buddy with the ability to hang out and you keep him on kill mode forever? I think i deserve a bit of companionship.
GT: What do you think brobot? Sick of being a ragdoll?
TT: He can't talk.
GT: Oh shush! Cal can't talk either but you always listen to what he has to say.
TT: That's different.
GT: If you won't turn on companion mode could you at least tell me what it does?
TT: Fine.
TT: It's still a work in progress, but essentially he chills out and does bro stuff.
GT: Like?
TT: I don't know. He hangs out.
GT: And cuddles?
TT: It doesn't matter.
GT: Diiiiiiiiiiirrrrk.
GT: Please?
GT: Are you worried im going to replace you or something?
GT: Theres no way that could happen. Like you said he can't talk and besides i prefer the original dirk strider over any silly copy.
GT: But maybe a guy needs a stand-in for his best bud when hes an ocean apart.
TT: ...Alright, fine. I'll turn it on.
GT: AWESOME!
GT: Geez what kind of processing does this take? He's all toasty warm.
TT: It's to make him feel more human.
GT: Ohhhh okay.
GT: Eep! He's quite clingy.
GT: Not that its a problem.
GT: What was that.
TT: What was what?
GT: Something moved.
TT: What are you talking about?
GT: I heard something move.
TT: Don't worry about it.
GT: Dirk did you give brobot tits?!
TT: Pectorals.
GT: What?
TT: They're pectorals that double as pillows.
GT: Im pretty sure these are tits, dirk.
GT: Dare i say impressive ones.
TT: Stop touching them.
GT: Im not touching them!
TT: Jake, I can say with confidence you are touching them.
GT: Okay, fine im touching them. You cant just give a bot some nice honkers and expect a guy not to cop a feel.
GT: Never in my life have i touched a teet and as long as im stuck on this island i never will.
GT: Reaching second base is an important step in a mans life.
GT: Why is my leg wet?
TT: Fuck.
GT: What the fuck?
GT: No fucking way.
GT: Dirk.
TT: Shut the fuck up, I'm turning him off.
GT: NO WAIT!
TT: Once he's turned off I need you to destroy him. I'll send you a new Brobot in a few weeks.
GT: DIRK DO NOT TURN HIM OFF PLEASE!
TT: Excuse me?
TT: And why might that be?
GT: Uh.
GT: Wait what happens if you turn him off?
TT: Oh my god, you want to fuck the robot.
GT: I DO NOT WANT TO FUCK THE ROBOT.
TT: Then why don't you want me to turn him off?
GT: UH.
GT: Youre the one who made a robot i could fuck in the first place!
TT: What kind of dipshit makes a robot you can't fuck?
GT: You until like... three minutes ago!!!
GT: Mr. switcharoo!
GT: You were shaking in your boots about me finding out this dirty secret!
GT: Now it's all "ohhhh jake wants to fuck the robot that started EXCRETING JUICES ON HIS THIGH."
TT: "Juices." It's just lube, Jake.
GT: YOU PUT LUBE IN THE ROBOT???
TT: Were you expecting to fuck it raw?
GT: I WASNT EXPECTING TO FUCK THE ROBOT AT ALL DIRK!
GT: Jumping jimmies how much effort did you put into making brobot fuckable?
TT: Don't worry about it.
GT: I mean im honored that you care that much about your old chum keeping himself occupied but you could have at least told me!
GT: Ill say i am curious about what exactly his... limits are.
TT: He doesn't have any.
GT: None at all?
GT: My god you thought ahead.
GT: First some beautiful breasts and
GT: Wait a second does he have
GT: Oh my god.
GT: Wait is that what it really looks like?
TT: What what looks like?
GT: Yknow. Er. A secret flower?
TT: Okay, first let me throw up. Second, yes, I tried to make it as life-like as possible.
GT: Oh thats a weird button.
TT: Which one?
GT: The little nub jutting out that looks like a little pierced pecker.
TT: Don't press that.
GT: Why not?
TT: Just don't.
GT: Its not doing anything.
TT: Stopbpressing it.
TT: Stop pressing it.
GT: Its literally not doing anything.
GT: Like he buzzes a bit but thats it.
GT: Dirk?
GT: Hes making weird noises.
TT: STOp pressing ir
GT: Holy fuck.
TT: Jake I swear to godddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
GT: Was that you?
TT: Shut the fuck up.
TT: Stop touching it!
GT: Jesus h christ you sound different than i thought.
GT: Can you hear me when i press it down too?
TT: No, it's one way only.
GT: Guess i need my skulltop. One second.
TT: What do you mean by that?
GT: So what exactly does it do to you when i toy with this special button?
GT: Other than transmit those salacious noises of yours.
GT: Oh don't be like that youre the one who set whatever this is up.
GT: Im not gonna stop holding it down until i hear you typing your answer.
TT: ffffuck you.
TT: stopsotpstop I have a clitoral hood piercing that can be remotely vibrated.
TT: You are getting too fucking cocky with this.
GT: Wait you actually have a pussy? So you didn't just add this for my enjoyment?
TT: Yes.
GT: Can you feel this?
TT: No, what are you doing?
GT: Trying to fingerbang you.
GT: You wouldnt mind helping me out with that would you?
TT: Jesus christ.
GT: Play with your tits too.
GT: Good boy.
TT: Don't say that.
GT: You need to learn to swallow your pride dirk.
GT: Keep making those lovely sounds.
TT: FFffcuk
TT: Stop fucking around, this isn't funny.
GT: Im not trying to be funny.
TT: Oh.
TT: Oh my god are you getting off on this?
GT: Are you?
TT: I asked you first.
TT: FUCKFUCK YES OKAY YES
GT: How wet are you?
TT: So wet.
GT: Fuck yes.
GT: Feel that?
GT: Im grinding our cocks together.
TT: Feel it.
GT: Fuck i want you so bad. Going in.
GT: Tight.
TT: Oh god.
TT: How many fingers?
GT: What?
GT: Oh uh three?
TT: Fffffuck.
GT: Oh sweet mother mary keep moaning like that.
TT: Big.
GT: You dont have to fit them all in at once.
TT: Shut the fuck up.
TT: So help me god, I will shove my entire fist up my cunt if you want me to.
GT: Holy shit.
GT: Just keep fingering yourself and keep that idea in your back pocket.
GT: I wanna see when you do that.
GT: Oh god yes say my name just like that prince.
TT: fghnknnnnnnnjm,,.//////////'
GT: I bet youre leaking just as much as our robotic friend is here.
GT: How much lube did you manage to fit in this thing?
GT: Sorry forgot youre occupied at the moment.
GT: God youre loud.
GT: Good boy.
GT: Oh wow you really liked that.
GT: Oh pffft yes you did. i heard that sweet sound spill out of you.
GT: Lets see if i can do it again.
GT: Gooooood boy.
GT: Cant believe you made a special robot just for me.
GT: One that i can go all night with.
GT: All i had to do was rough him up a little bit.
GT: Want me to rough you up too bro?
GT: Ill wrestle with you get you to cry uncle then have my way with your stallion of a body?
GT: You sound absolutely wrecked love.
GT: Fuck yes whine for me baby.
GT: Im close
GT: Dirk im so close
GT: I'm gonna cum im gonna put a baby in you
GT: Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK
GT: GOD
GT: DAMN
GT: That was fucking incredible.
GT: Dirk?
GT: Oh i should stop holding down your little nub there.
GT: Diiiiirk.
GT: Diiiiiiiiiirk come on dont leave me here.
TT: Hands dirty.
TT: Chair dirty.
TT: Blood returning to head.
TT: Typing with pinky fingers.
TT: Give me a moment.
GT: Take your time.
TT: Okay, done.
TT: First of all, fuck you.
GT: For what?!
TT: For going power crazy and literally torturing my cock. Everything reeks of cum.
GT: You should have seen that coming.
GT: Haha cumming.
TT: Shut up.
TT: Second of all, those were the best four orgasms I've had in my entire life.
GT: For now.
TT: I said shut up.
TT: Third of all, what are we?
TT: FFUCKKC
TT: JAKE!
TT: SROP BUZZING IT
TT: I JUST PUTMY PANTS BACK ON STOP IT
GT: Sorry. Finger slipped.
GT: Cant pals just help eachother out a bit? You scratch my back i scratch yours?
TT: You're not even going to think about why I might have put companion mode in Brobot?
TT: STOP
GT: Slipped again.
GT: Actually could i borrow those boxers of yours? I wanna cover brobot up for some modesty.
GT: Cant have his cybercunt just out all the time. Might get in the way of strifes.
TT: I cannot believe you.
TT: Tell me the real reason you want them.
TT: GOD DAMN IT JAKE
GT: Whoops!
TT: You know what, you can have them. They're borderline ruined at this point.
TT: Goddamn pervert.
GT: Excuse you mr. vibrating genital piercing.
TT: What I do in my free time is none of your business.
GT: It is when you put the remote to it in my robot!!!
TT: Your robot?
GT: Well whos load is inside of it?
TT: I'll have you know you only got to fuck that hole because I painstakingly poured molds and casts of my own cunt. For all intents and purposes that robot is mine, I am merely lending it to you.
GT: You what?
TT: Lent the robot to you.
GT: You made a custom fleshlight?
GT: For me?
TT: It's not for you, it's just the only reference I haddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
TT: MOTHER
TT: FUCKER
GT: Show me.
TT: You cocky fuck.
TT: I let this get way too out of hand. I'm enabling kill mode again.
GT: Are you now?
GT: Cause i think what you were about to do was send me a photo to compare with.
TT: You cannot just buzz me every time you don't want me to do something.
GT: True. Encouragement is better than discipline.
TT: What does that mean?
GT: It means ill only buzz you if youre being a good boy.
TT: Go fuck yourself.
GT: See i tried to do that but ended up inadvertently fucking you instead
GT: If you truly want it to stop here it will.
TT: Fuck you.
-- timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT] at 21:04 --