Chapter Text
In most cases, Lois seriously considers getting a job for her second son, Reese. She is fully aware of how chaotic the boy is on his own. Lois knows Reese’s intelligence—and unfortunately, she also knows what he is capable of doing with it.
This weekend was the last straw.
Reese, chaotic and impressive, managed to blow up the oven while trying to cook a dish he himself called “food of the gods,” which, even more impressively, actually tasted good. But the damage was already done—the entire kitchen looked like a freshly activated minefield. There were food remains everywhere. To a certain extent, it was disgusting. But the result was exquisite. One had to find the bright side before punishing Reese for a very long time.
While she was talking to a woman at work, the woman mentioned she had a friend who needed a cook and babysitter for her son. She also had a 16-year-old, but he was never home—and when he was, he spent all day lying around.
The idea of Reese getting a job genuinely excited Lois. But there was a problem. She loved her son—truly, she did—and she would even dare say he was the one she had paid the most attention to out of her five children. Still, the idea of sending Reese away for the holidays felt relatively cruel. It was the same feeling she had when she forced Francis to leave home for military school.
But Reese was different. Without her, Hal, or any of his brothers nearby, Reese’s chances of survival were null—practically nonexistent. He was foolish, impulsive, and not very reasonable.
With fear and guilt, Lois made her decision. She stayed strong, because that’s what a mother has to do—be strong for her children and for her husband.
Three days before summer vacation, she called the number of the house that was hiring. A woman with a maternal tone answered and spoke clearly and firmly at the same time.
Apparently, they were a family of five. They had three sons. They called themselves the Heffleys.
Lois listened carefully. After talking for an hour or two, they both reached an agreement: as long as Reese cooked and helped with household chores in the Heffley house, she would pay him ten dollars an hour, and Lois could call whenever she wanted. It wasn’t really a “man’s job,” and this worried Mrs. Heffley on the other end of the line. Lois reassured her, telling her that Reese didn’t care about that kind of thing—he only cared about his own benefit—and that he wasn’t the type of boy to judge others for cooking or cleaning.
Reese really was strange. He was smart and talented, but also rough and cruel at times. He didn’t pick on smaller kids for things like “your backpack is pink” or “you’re not a woman, why are you cooking?” Reese was more like “you’re a nerd” or “you look so lame.” He only bothered kids who physically seemed weak, timid, and submissive—let’s say, Malcolms and Deweys.
Of course, she didn’t tell Mrs. Heffley that.
After so much talking, they both agreed, and by Monday of the following week, Reese would be at the Heffley house. When Lois hung up, she felt relief mixed with worry. The Heffley house wasn’t close at all—in fact, it was about five hours away from the Wilkerson home. Still, she encouraged herself that everything would turn out fine. After all, it would be a punishment/vacation/responsibility for Reese.
She knew the boy wouldn’t like the news at all, but she had no other option. At first, she doubted—until she heard Malcolm complaining about a hit that echoed from the shared bedroom all the way to the kitchen. That convinced her this was for his own good.
And so, dinner came.
The Wilkerson family sat at the table eating a disgusting thing called “leftover lasagna.” Her four sons, from youngest to oldest, made faces at the food without remorse. She cared less about that—she had other things on her mind.
Her husband Hal didn’t know the news, but she knew he would agree. She wasn’t eating—in fact, she hadn’t touched her plate. She kept imagining two things at once: a completely changed Reese returning home after two and a half months… or his tombstone.
“Mom, what’s wrong with you? You haven’t touched any of the garbage you made, and you’re always the first to eat it.”
She snapped out of her trance and looked at her middle son. She sometimes forgot how perceptive he was. Dewey was too—but he was more discreet and didn’t speak up. He stayed quiet until he surprised everyone.
Then her gaze shifted to the boy playing with the youngest.
Reese was completely unaware of what was happening, busy entertaining himself with the baby, tossing small peas for him to dodge. He looked innocent. Well, she knew he was relatively innocent. Yes, he was a bully—but he was also naive. He didn’t have the life experience Francis or Malcolm had. He was more… vulnerable to everything.
She remembered when those teenage girls humiliated him, and all the times he had told Malcolm not to mention his lack of friends. And when he undressed in front of a lesbian thinking she wanted his virginity. Her son wasn’t stupid—no. He was anything but that. He was naive and clever at the same time.
“Well, maybe that’s because I have news. Well, not news for everyone—more for one specific person.”
Lois spoke, looking directly at Reese.
Everyone turned to look at him.
Reese looked behind him, not realizing they were looking at him.
“Reese, I’m talking to you.”
“Oh—I knew, I just wanted to make sure the fridge was closed.”
Lois sighed. This would be difficult.
“Well, Reese, taking advantage of your punishment for the disaster in the kitchen—”
“It wasn’t a disaster, Mom. It was part of the magic.”
God help her.
“Well, your magic. I’ve decided to change the punishment.”
Now everyone looked at her. Malcolm with his usual
“I know what you’re thinking”
expression, Dewey pretending indifference but interested, Jamie still playing with peas, and Hal raising a suspicious eyebrow.
“If it’s going to work with you, I want you to know I got banned for—”
“No, Reese, it’s not that. But interesting that you mention it.”
“What are you planning, woman?” Malcolm asked carefully.
“Dad should know,” Dewey added calmly.
“Believe me, I have no idea what your mother Lois talking about,” Hal defended himself.
“Well, this is because Reese—you’ll have a job during vacation, relatively far from he—”
“Are you planning to kick me out like Francis?” Reese asked quickly, worried.
“Mom, are you joking?” Malcolm added.
“Is that what we’re doing, Lois?” Hal asked, concerned.
“What? No! I didn’t kick Francis out—I disciplined him. What I mean is—it’s temporary. You’ll be in a house cooking and cleaning, just for the vacation.”
She clarified quickly.
“Oh… like… a maid?” Malcolm ventured.
Lois shot him a deadly look.
“Why didn’t I know about this decision?” Hal asked, annoyed.
“Because it was sudden. Look, Reese—you’ve been more… chaotic lately. You really need this.”
Reese stared at her, trying to understand.
After a moment, he stood up suddenly and shouted:
“You’re going to make me wear an apron?!”
“No, Reese, we’re not in the 18th century.”
“Actually, Mom—” Malcolm started—
Lois looked at him. He shut up.
“I mean it’s temporary.”
“But I don’t want to go. I already had my vacation planned.”
“I’m sorry, son,” Hal said calmly. “Your mother’s right.”
“That’s not fair! Why me and not Malcolm?!”
“Hey, don’t drag me into this,” Malcolm replied.
“I’ve made my decision.”
“Mom, please—I won’t do anything again. I’ll wash your clothes, I’ll take care of Jamie—please, I don’t want to go work during vacation.”
“Funny you say that—that’s exactly what you’ll do at the Heffley house.”
Dewey chuckled. Reese hit him.
“I’m sorry, Reese. I’m doing this for your own good.”
And that’s how dinner ended.
✩₊˚.⋆🕸️⋆⁺₊✧
Reese could break the car window, run away, accuse his mom of kidnapping him… but the problem was—she wasn’t the one taking him.
It was Francis.
At 5:47 a.m., Francis drove toward the Heffley house. Music blasting, calm, occasionally patting Reese’s shoulder.
Reese, on the other hand, felt terrible.
“I don’t want to go, Francis…”
“I get it. Mom likes sending away the kids she understands the least.”
“Then why are you still driving?”
Francis sighed.
“Because she’s partly right. I was never talented. You are. And you still have time to straighten out.”
Then he smiled.
“I’ll buy you something.”
They arrived at a white two-story house.
A woman greeted them.
“Hi, I’m Susan Heffley. You must be Reese?”
“Yeah, that’s him,” Francis interrupted quickly.
“Are you his father?”
Both choked.
“No—his brother.”
They entered.
Reese’s room was small but neat.
“You’ll cook, clean the yard, that’s it. Fifteen dollars per meal.”
“Oh—and we won’t be here. We’re going on vacation.”
“…okay…”
“And stay away from my kids if you can.”
“…okay…”
Francis finished unpacking.
“Call me if anything happens.”
Then, smiling:
“Maybe you’ll even get a summer romance.”
Reese rolled his eyes.
“I don’t want to be here.”
“You’ll do fine.”
Francis left.
Now Reese was alone.
He thought about causing chaos.
But strangely…
he didn’t feel like it.
He looked at the kitchen—
and started cooking.