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He wanted her job and it would be easy enough to
Not because she got to wake up whenever she wanted
Not because she got to take as many breaks as she needed
Not because she didn’t have to commute for over 2 hours, each day’s fee about a meal’s worth
No. In fact, she didn’t have those
If anything, her life was just as hectic as his
So no, it wasn’t because of the chance to laze away
But because she got to interact with so much people around her
See, he had been sheltered his whole life
He didn’t grow up in a particularly safe neighborhood so it was to be a bit expected
But he also didn’t grow to have a life
He had no friends. One time, the sweet middle aged lady living next to him offered to help him bake. But he was so lost and afraid that he’d shut the door in her face
He hadn’t apologized for that, he’d been to scared to look her in the face after acting so rudely
Afraid she’d yell at him and gossip about him to the others so he never bothered
He wanted her job because it gave her all these friends. Something he oh so wanted and needed.
He had tried talking to her before, she was nice, but busy, always busy
So busy that he wondered just how she kept her friendships up.
But if anyone, of course they would relate to her most. After all, they all worked the same job didn’t they?
Nice as she was, they never got farther than customary greetings
It wasn’t like she could take anymore time and dedication from what she already had to accommodate him too.
And maybe he should hold it against her, but he can’t. Because he also understood just how taxing it could be, the work that is
“Hey there lad, what you up to” Mr Maple from 3 blocks down
“Evening Mr Maple”
“What’ve you been up to these days”
“Oh not much, just the usual y’know, minding the shop for ma while she’s out”
“I can see that” he laughed “Let me just grab what I need” he said, making his way to the aisles
He watched him go.
Mr Maple was a unique man, to say the least.
Aside from the fact that he’d known him since he was maybe 6, he used to take him rock collecting.
Now Mr Maple wasn’t a geologist but he lived by the code that if it was technically possible and you could pretend then why not. He never really understood that but Mr Maple was probably the only person other than his parents he could manage an interaction with so he played along. And it WAS fun (though he’d never admit that to him)
Mr Maple was loud and hearty, he sure knew how to fill the room
But he was also soft and gentle, he’d watched him handle chicks and baby squirrels that got themselves tangled in the playground safety net
He wished he was like him, but also not really
He couldn’t imagine ever being that loud if he tried, and he quite liked his tiny space
So no, not that, but he wished he could talk without a reason to overthink his words
“Mr Maple” he called out, receiving a grunt as a reply
“How do you do it”
“Do what”
“Make people see you or rather, how do you approach them”
Mr Maple’s head popped out of the end of the shelf “What do you mean”
“I don’t know, how do you make friends, I guess’ he paused before continuing “Everybody loves you, you meet someone and most of the time, you end up as friends if not acquaintances, how do you do it’
Mr Maple walked to him at the counter
“Y’know, I wasn’t always this forthcoming, I used to hide inside my tiny little shell away from the world, back when I was younger”
“How’d you do it then, change?”
“My mother used to tell me, ‘the fear of rejection is worse than the rejection itself’. Life throws opportunities at you and if you never take any, you’ll end up missing your shot. It can be intimidating yes, and humans aren’t exactly always the nicest or most approachable either, but if you never take the chance, then who will’ he said, sliding a coin his way.
He picked it up and examined it. There wasn’t anything particular about it, just a regular old coin
“Once, I wanted a bike, we weren’t exactly well off but I was good enough in my studies. A traveling nobleman came to town and offered a nice sum of money to whichever child could win his test”
“My father promised me that if I won, he’d take me to get a bike with the money, not that it’d go into our feeding allowance or into our savings for the next season, but that he’d get me the one thing I wanted, and all I had to do was partner up with a fellow kid and we’d qualify. But I was so afraid to, the thought of walking up to someone or being approached and not only starting a conversation, but also working with them for a while gave me so much anxiety that in the end I didn’t enter the contest.”
“I didn’t win the money so I couldn’t get the bike. I cried for days. No one comforted me, not my mother, definitely not my father. But when I finally came out of my room, my father put his hand on my shoulder. He didn’t need to say anything, because I understood from that gesture alone, nothing held me back, my father was ready to get me what I wanted, I was the one who refused to take the opportunity. He gave me a hug and told me what my mother always told me
‘The fear of rejection is worse than rejection itself’ I echoed the words with him
“Better to fail and know you failed than to not take the chance and live the rest of your life wondering what could have been” Mr Maple concluded
“But how do I know which one is right, what if I’ve tried before but it didn’t work out “
“Well then it’s a sign to try again. Opportunity comes in many forms and differs from person to person. You will always find the right one. It may not be everytime, but you will get it eventually. Some opportunities come that just aren’t meant for us. Take it as a stepping stone and not as a wrecking ball”
He was silent for a moment, not because he had a lot to think of or to say but because he had none. It was true, he knew, he wouldn’t want to live his life limited by what ifs
”Thank you, Mr Maple”
“Ah what are friends for” he laughed, giving him a heavy pat on his back
“Friends?” he asked, too stunned to even register the stinging sensation on his back
“well I’d hope so after many years, plus, I don’t just go round spilling my sappy stories to just anyone y’know “
He huffed “Of course”
“welp, I best be on my way then. I’ll be back next Tuesday”
“Aren’t you getting anything?”
“Well now I’m craving ice cream instead. I’m going to treat myself to something sweet” he said, leaving
“Goodbye Mr Maple” he called out after him
He walked up to the door and hesitated
This could go horribly wrong, he thought
‘Or beautifully right’ a voice whispered back to him
He took a deep breath and steadied himself
One two three, just like pa taught him
Finally, he knocked
No answer
The urge to bolt was very enticing but he stood his ground
‘The fear of rejection is worse than rejection itself’
Finally the door opened
There she was, a plump lady, hair in two braids, wrapped in a bandana to keep the strands off her face
There was flour all over her, she looked so white she resembled a ghoul
They stood staring at each other for a minute (or was it a second?)
He took a deep breath
“Hello” he said
“Um.. I’m sorry, for shutting the door in your face last time, I didn’t know how to react to your offer, I’ve never been asked to join in anything before though it’s mainly my fault”
“I brought sweets, as a token of my apology, and a hope that maybe you’ll take me on, as a friend” he added
A beat
“Hmm, a little late don’t you think”
He could hear his heart pounding in his ear, could feel it all round his head, too late to back out now
“2 years too late, but better late than never am I right “ he tried
She gave him a big smile, not the toothy ones, the one that just showed the cheekbones well, the type that looks like one put 2 balls in the mouth, not unlike a squirrel collecting acorns.
She opened the door wider and stepped aside
“Well I sure hope so, considering I’ve had the apron out for years” she replied
Relief wasn’t just what he felt in that moment, it was joy and tears and the tiny tiny voice that spoke in sync to the beat in his chest as he felt the coin in his pocket, that maybe, just maybe he could
She could keep her job, compared to this, it didn’t look that exciting anyways
He’d much rather spend time baking with his friends than working with them, never really getting to enjoy their off days together. This way he'd always have something to look forward to, someone to look forward to spending his time with, when all seemed lost again.