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"Eraserhead," Tsukauchi greets without looking up from his work, a testament to how well past the point of being fazed he is by Shouta entering his office through the window instead of the front door, "good to see you."
"You too," Shouta nods, sliding the window shut behind him to block out the chilly night air.
After a beat of silence, Tsukauchi prods, "I assume you have news on a case?"
"This...isn't about a case," Shouta starts carefully.
That gets the detective's attention and his eyes rise from the mountain of paperwork that he looks to be only halfway through. "Then, what is this about?"
"I have a...bad...idea..." Shouta says slowly, leaning back against the windowsill and crossing his arms, "and I'm hoping that you'll talk me out of it."
Tsukauchi's brows furrow in a mixture of confusion and concern. "Ooo...kay?"
"I..." Shouta takes a breath, steeling his nerves, "want to adopt a kid," he grits out through his teeth before he can think twice about it.
Tsukauchi straightens up in his chair, regarding the hero thoughtfully. "Oh," he finally utters after a long silence.
"Shinsou, specifically," Shouta clarifies.
"I know," the detective remarks casually, taking a sip of what was probably at least his fourth cup of coffee. "You should."
That certainly throws Shouta for a loop. "I- what?" He sputters in disbelief.
"You should," Tsukauchi repeats, barely even blinking an eye; as if Shouta wanting to adopt his protégé is the least surprising thing he's heard all week.
Shouta stares at him like he's grown two heads, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. He knows that the detective likes kids, or at least isn't adverse to them, but he'd thought for sure that Tsukauchi would agree that it was a bad idea. Tsukauchi is easily the most rational and level headed of the few people that he can actually consider his friends; which is why he came to him instead of Hizashi or Nemuri.
Well that, and also he had wanted to skip the excited squealing, and the teasing, and whatever other illogical, over-the-top reactions his fellow pros chose to impose upon him.
Point is, he'd expected Tsukauchi to respond with a logical observation about how Shouta was already busy enough working two jobs, about how he already had a lot of other responsibilities without adding a kid to the mix, about how Hitoshi's case worker's weird insistence against the kid moving into dorms would lose a lot of traction once said kid got into the hero course, etc.
Of all the things that Shouta had expected to come out of Tsukauchi's mouth, "You should.", was probably the last.
"What do you mean?" Shouta asks incredulously. "No, I shouldn't."
The shorter man shrugs his shoulders. "Why not?"
"Why n-?!" Shouta's eyebrows shoot up into his hairline. "Why should I? What right do I have?"
"Aizawa, I'm not going to talk you out of this," Tsukauchi grunts, "I think it'll be good for you both."
"But-" Shouta clenches his fists, frustration bubbling up underneath his skin. "I am already working two jobs," he reasons. "I have enough to worry about." He shakes his head. "Plus, Hit-Shinsou," he corrects himself, "is going to be moving into dorms when he gets transferred to the hero course anyways."
"Aizawa," Tsukauchi tries to cut in.
"I mean," Shouta continues, running an exasperated hand down his face, "I can barely even take care of myself, much less a kid."
"Aizawa."
The hero is pacing now, his boots trampling back and forth over the creaky floor. "Even if he does say yes to me adopting him -which he won't, because what why would he want to be adopted by his teacher- he'd definitely prefer to be rooming with his classmates over me, and then, he's pretty much just like any other student, just legally attached to me, so what's even the point of adopting him? Not to mention: my apartment's too small, I'm out on patrol too often, I'm too harsh, I don't really like other people, I'm constantly tired, I get frustrated easily, I can't even cook-!"
"Shouta." The rare use of his first name stops the hero in his tracks. Tsukauchi sighs, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. "You're self-sabotaging."
Shouta gives him a blank stare. "...what?"
"You're self-sabotaging," he says more firmly. "You're coming up with a million excuses for why adopting Shinsou is a bad idea, but it's not."
"I'm presenting a logical argument against an illogical thought."
"You're coming up with excuses," Tsukauchi reiterates with a sharp look, "because you've already convinced yourself that Shinsou will say no."
"That's not-"
"Please," the shorter man lightly scoffs, "I don't think I've ever seen you so worked up. You're driving yourself crazy; worrying over stuff that doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. I don't know if you've realized," he continues, hiding an amused smile behind another sip of coffee, "but you talk about Shinsou all the time."
"I..." Shouta's eyes widen in surprise, "do?"
"Yep." Tsukauchi pops the p. "You do. And, it's obvious that Shinsou absolutely adores you."
"He doesn't-"
"He does," the other man rebuts.
"I..." Shouta sighs in defeat, slumping back against the wall. "I don't know how to take care of a kid."
"He's a teenager, Eraser, not a five year old. He's perfectly capable of telling you what he does and doesn't need."
"But, he doesn't," Shouta argues, "I mean..." he sighs again, sadder this time, "you've seen his file. That kid has been through some shit. He doesn't like to tell people what he likes, nevermind what he needs. He doesn't trust anyone."
Tsukauchi hums thoughtfully, holding his gaze for a pause before speaking again. "You remember that time you brang Shinsou to the station and one of the criminals in the holding cells started antagonizing him?"
The hero grits his teeth at the memory. "Yes."
"Kid acted tough, but as soon as you stepped in, he was sure quick to hide behind you."
"He wasn't hiding," Shouta is quick to snap back.
"It wasn't an accusation," Tsukauchi chuckles. "He got freaked out; happens to everyone the first time," he adds. "Point is, he hid behind you because he trusted you to protect him."
Shouta doesn't really know what to say to that.
"Look, Shouta," Tsukauchi laments, tone halfway between exasperated and fond, "you're kicking yourself in the foot before you can even start," he muses, leaning forward with his chin resting on his clasped hands.
"But, I-"
"Just, listen," the shorter man insists. "You can ask Nedzu for a bigger apartment, Shinsou's going to be literally only a five minute walk from his classmates, he'll probably prefer having a calmer environment, you need to cut down your patrol hours more anyway, you're not as bad as you think you are, you already like Shinsou, you could do with getting some more sleep, everyone gets frustrated, and you can learn to cook."
"I-"
"You're going to be fine."
"He doesn't need me," Shouta weakly offers.
"He's independent, yes, but I'm sure it's to an unhealthy degree, given his history," Tsukauchi shoots back. "He may be a teenager, but he's still just a kid, and he's a very traumatized one too. He does need you."
"I'm not -it's a lot of responsibility."
"It is, but he can also handle a lot of stuff himself, and you know you can always ask him or your friends for help, myself included." Tsukauchi smiles softly. "I'm sure the rest of the UA staff would feel the same. And, if it all gets too much for you, just take a break; you're allowed that much."
"I..." Shouta trails off, trying to find the right words, "he doesn't want this."
"You don't know that for sure," Tsukauchi reminds. "And, honestly, that kid looks at you like you've hung the moon and stars." He falls silent, regarding the hero for a few seconds. "You wanna know what I think?" He blurts suddenly, fingers idly tapping a discordant rhythm on the desktop.
Shouta's brow furrow at the sudden change in conversation, but he nods anyway.
"You're self-sabotaging, trying to convince yourself that adopting Shinsou is a bad idea, because you're scared of getting close to him. You're trying to protect yourself because you're afraid of losing him."
Shouta swallows thickly, his voice caught in his throat.
Tsukauchi is nothing if not a good detective.
Tsukauchi shifts in his seat, taking a few deep breaths before continuing. "When my mom was...dying," he says slowly, "I was...I buried myself in work. 'I'm too busy', 'I need to crack this case'," he clears his throat, waving his hand flippantly, "you know; whatever. Came up with excuses until there were none left." He casts his gaze downward. "By the end, we didn't really speak to each other anymore. But, it didn't numb the pain of losing her. It only made it worse. I still regret it." He looks back up at Shouta, watery eyes burning with sincerity. "I understand the fear of losing someone, but if you keep pushing Shinsou away, you're going to lose him anyway."
"I..." Shouta deflates. He's right, after all.
"It won't be easy, but he's going to be learning right along with you. You two already make a good team; you can work together to figure it out."
"That's if he says yes, which I doubt-"
"You don't know that for sure." Tsukauchi buts in. "Want my opinion? I sincerly doubt the kid's going to say no."
Shouta shakes his head. "I don't know..."
"Do you love him?"
"Yes." Shouta surprises himself with the ease at which the word comes out, with how pure, and raw the truth escaping his lips is. "Of course I do. More than anything else in the world."
"Then, you've already got the most important part covered." Tsukauchi smiles. "Just tell him how you feel. If you don't, you'll regret it. Don't do what I did. Spend the time."
Silence falls between them once more, broken only by Tsukauchi taking a swig of caffeine.
Shouta lets out a long sigh before rounding the desk and leaning down to gather Tsukauchi in an embrace.
It takes the detective a minute to reciprocate, tension quickly bleeding out of his frame.
"Didn't know you were a hugger."
Shouta snorts. "My students don't give me much of a choice."
Tsukauchi chuckles as the hero pulls away.
"Shouta," the detective's voice stops him in the middle of climbing back out the window. Tsukauchi waits for Shouta to meet his eyes again before speaking again, "you're going to be a good dad."
Dad.
Just the thought steals his breath away.
Shouta's lips quirk up into a small smile. "Thank you...Naomasa."