Chapter Text
Engaged at the blossoming age of eighteen. It felt like something out of a cliché K-drama, but...
"So, your fiancé is that guy? Jeong Guwon?"
For Do Dohee, who was currently sighing face-down on her desk, it was a harsh reality. It made her worry if Madam Ju had finally lost her mind.
"Wow, of all people, why him? Isn't that like a cruel joke of fate?"
"Stop saying creepy things. It's just because our families are a good match, that's all."
"True, to stand on equal footing with Mirae Group, you'd at least need a foundation like his."
"Out of all the children of wealthy families, I don't know why it has to be that ba—... him."
"He's the most handsome out of all of them. Isn't that enough?"
"Ugh, seriously... If you're going to talk nonsense, why don't you just leave?"
Dohee buried her head again and gestured toward the door. No matter how handsome people said he was, it was just as annoying. No, actually, it was worse. The way he smiled so brightly with that pretty face was incredibly obnoxious. Everyone else needed to see that side of him.
***
Behind the gymnasium building, there was a somewhat out-of-place spot. A dilapidated pavilion set against a low hill in the back, overgrown with vines that used it as a trellis due to lack of maintenance, and once-luxurious roof tiles that were cracked and chipped in places. Because of its state, it wasn't easily noticeable, tucked away as if hidden by the walls. It wasn't the age of childhood curiosity anymore, and it was impossible to catch the attention of late-teen students busy chasing trends. Therefore, the only people who frequented this old pavilion were myself and—
"Do Dohee."
—Jeong Guwon. Only that jerk.
His long legs were particularly bothersome today. They must have taken up about a third of the small pavilion. Dohee sat down as far away from him as possible.
"What's the deal?"
"With what?"
"The engagement."
"Oh, that? I don't know either."
Talk about playing innocent. Guwon was busy flipping through a novel in his hand as if it were no big deal. Reading a romance novel that didn't suit him at all. Other female students would have been appalled to hear this, but Dohee felt they needed to know his true colors. He didn't even seem to put effort into managing his image, yet she couldn't understand how everyone interpreted him however they pleased. To them, Jeong Guwon was, well, like the male lead of a romance novel like that.
"Hey."
"Yeah."
"I won't make this long, so go and ask to call off the engagement."
"Why should I?"
Guwon's gaze, which hadn't intended to leave the pages, turned toward Dohee. His clear eyes, filled with pure questioning, easily got on Dohee's nerves.
"What do you mean 'why'? You don't like it either. Let's just break off an engagement that neither of us wants."
"Ah. So you want to do something that benefits both of us? Kill two birds with one stone?"
Just as Dohee was about to nod, muttering that they were finally communicating, Guwon's lips curled up into a picture-perfect smirk. According to the other girls—excluding Dohee—it was a smile so captivating that 'even a devil would surrender his soul for it.'
"I don't want to."
To Dohee, he was simply the devil himself.
***
The news of their engagement spread instantly and quickly became the hottest topic at school. For kids submerged in college entrance exams and all sorts of dry routines, it was the ultimate event. It was the same for the parties involved—or rather, for one of them. Except that the meaning was the exact opposite.
"Dohee, you really..."
"Yes, it's true I'm engaged to Jeong Guwon, no, it wasn't my choice, and I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop asking. Does that answer your question?"
The girl, looking incredulous, turned away with her mouth half-open. Dohee thought of the culprit behind all this. She shouldn't have just left that jerk there. She should have held him back and changed his mind somehow!
"...What?"
"I said I don't want to. Let's break it off."
"No... why?"
"What do you mean 'why'? Then why do you hate the engagement? There's no particular reason to hate it."
"Are you serious right now...?"
It was a mistake not to react properly to his unexpected attitude. She should have threatened him, saying she could list a hundred reasons why she hated him. It was far too late for regrets now, though.
"Hey, fiancé. Why don't you have lunch with me? Since we're officially engaged and all."
"Get lost..."
"Huh? What did you say?"
"...I said get lost!"
Whatever had gotten into him, Jeong Guwon started following her around like a puppy chasing its owner. Class time was her only moment of freedom, since Guwon and Dohee were in different classes. At least there was that.
"Do Dohee!"
"Dohee, your fian—..."
"I can see him too. Just be quiet, please."
"Do Dohee, you, hold onto this for a bit."
"What is this... Hey!"
"Isn't that a novel?"
"...Why are you giving this to me to hold!"
So much for "at least." She had clearly forgotten that school life consisted of many moments besides class time. He had run over breathlessly, dumped a novel in her hands, and ran off again—it was so bewildering that his retreating back almost looked spiteful. I mean, who brings a book to play soccer? And why give it to me? It was a sight so absurd it made her lose even the will to get angry. Jeong Guwon did things like that every single day without ever getting tired.
"Oh, really? You like this? You have a surprisingly childish palate. Anything else?"
"Yeah, and also..., Dohee. That drink you liked, what was the name of it again?"
"What on earth are you guys doing?"
"Can't you tell? Your fiancé is personally receiving a masterclass in your preferences."
"...I'm not even going to bother."
Dohee decided to catch up on sleep rather than start another pointless argument. Seeing him like that for days made her feel that avoiding him was the best policy. It was more beneficial to worry about the upcoming midterms anyway.
The dilapidated pavilion was the perfect place for that. The only obstacle was Jeong Guwon... but since she had just ditched him, it wouldn't matter. It was so secluded that nothing bothered her except the occasional sound of the wind. Maybe if she had a good nap, she'd feel a bit more generous after seeing his chaotic behavior? She wasn't entirely sure. The texture of the wood against her back felt comfortable—enough to fall asleep before she even realized it.
"The last scenery I see... at the moment... will be..."
They clearly seemed to be smiling at each other, but their faces were blurred. Beneath the distorted faces, the hem of a familiar hanbok caught her eye. Words that couldn't be heard clearly were exchanged.
"It is mine. From..., my..."
Like a picture book clumsily cut and pasted together, the scenes repeated inconsiderate transitions. Between the flickering cuts, the image of someone covered in blood lingered in her vision before vanishing.
"...Huh."
That dream again. The inexplicable dream featuring a man and a woman in hanbok. Scenes that had always shimmered since a time she couldn't remember. The two in the dream were undoubtedly the same people every time. She had never seen their faces, but that was the feeling she got.
"Do Dohee. No matter how good the view is here, are you really abandoning your fiancé?"
But... why does it sound similar? Is it because I just woke up?
"But what can you do? I don't have the slightest intention of breaking the engagement-"
No. Scratch that. She didn't know much, but there was sincerity in that man's words in the dream. To compare that man to someone like him just because a voice she couldn't even hear clearly sounded similar... She felt sorry for the nameless, faceless person.
"Is the strategy now to just ignore me entirely? You really are diligent."
"That would be you. Why did you follow me all the way here?"
"Oh? Believe it or not, I'm here on official business."
"As if."
"Your class president told me to give you this."
It was obviously a school notice. Why did the class president give this to him instead of me... Ah, the rumors must have spread. She felt her irritation rising again. Dohee quickly snatched the paper away.
"It's our foundation. Wow, our school must have a lot of money. Sending everyone to see a sword dance performance."
Dohee skimmed the text quickly, largely ignoring Guwon's words, which she couldn't tell if he was bragging about or not. It was a notice for a field trip. The destination was the Sunwol Foundation. And the main schedule was watching a sword dance performance. She wasn't the type to intentionally avoid cultural activities, but she had never been enthusiastic about them either, so it wasn't particularly welcome news with midterms approaching.
"...Does it say we have to go?"
"Why? Oh my god. Are you seriously not coming? Because of me?"
"That's just narcissism."
"Then why? To study?"
"Yeah. Are you going to stop me from studying too?"
"No. I'll stay behind too then. I've seen things like that a million times, maybe studying will be more fun."
Studying, my foot. He's just determined to mess with her. He'd be annoying just by sitting next to her. She couldn't let him win.
"I changed my mind. I guess I should go."
"Really? That's a shame, it was a chance for us to spend some quality time alone together."
Again, that smile. The way his lips curled up at a mathematically perfect angle was infuriating. She felt like she was being played in the palm of Jeong Guwon's hand either way, but there was no helping it. At least the field trip would be by class, so it would be fine. It had to be.
***
"Is everyone here? Then—"
"Teacher, Jeong Guwon isn't here yet."
"Let's wait just five more minutes before we head out."
Dohee's head turned to the left and then back. Jeong Guwon... after making me come, where did he go? It should have been a good thing. But his predictable fickleness was bothering her today. The innocent bus curtains were the only things bearing the brunt of her restlessness.
"...He didn't come, in the end?"
"Who? Me, perhaps?"
"You scared m—...! Wh-what the."
"What do you mean 'what'? It's your fiancé."
A large shadow loomed behind Dohee, who was muttering to herself while standing blankly in front of the grand Sunwol Foundation building. Startled by the voice near the back of her neck, Dohee spun around.
"I thought you couldn't make it?"
"Almost. Were you waiting for me?"
"No. It's a pity you made it."
"You're being cold again-"
"I mean, why were you standing here all alone until everyone left..."
"I mean, why were you out here all by yourself even after everyone else left—"
"Just, go, in! We're going to miss the performance."
Her point hit home, and Dohee started pushing Guwon's back. He didn't seem to budge an inch, though. Not wanting to face whatever expression Guwon was making, Dohee entered the performance hall with her head down. Fortunately, it didn't seem to have started yet, with dim lights illuminating the aisles.
"The seats for Class 3 are..."
"Hey, hey. You can't find them now. Just sit anywhere."
Led by Guwon, who suddenly grabbed her wrist, Dohee sat—or rather, was made to sit—in a nearby seat with a bewildered face. Guwon, sitting naturally in the next seat, looked perfectly comfortable, unlike her. Was this his territory? It was only when the music began to fill the hall that Dohee fixed her gaze on the stage. The hem of the hanbok fluttering with the sword felt strangely familiar.
***
"Dohee! Were you here?"
"...Huh, what? Is it over?"
"You dozed off, didn't you? I told you to take it easy on studying. The lights are on. Let's go, they said those who want to leave can go home. You're going home, right?"
...I fell asleep? That's strange, I clearly remember seeing the sword dance. Did I fall asleep while watching it? It felt quite long... Before her doubts could fade, another question came to mind.
"...Jeong Guwon."
"Guwon? Didn't he not show up?"
"No, he came. He was right next to me... Tell the teacher I'm staying behind. Sorry."
Leaving her stunned friend behind, Dohee rushed out of the performance hall. Where did he go now? He'd been hot and cold all day. He should have at least woken her up, or told her if he was leaving...
"What am I doing? Wait, am I worried? About that jerk?"
Absolutely not. No way. This was just her being bothered by his lack of manners. And, that, the novel! That damn novel she'd failed to return every single time. It was in her bag. That was reason enough to find him. Dohee shook her head vigorously and looked around. No matter how she thought about it, she didn't think he'd left the place entirely. If he had, there was no way the kids wouldn't have seen him. She hated to admit it, but Jeong Guwon was quite the attention-grabber.
"Parking lot, Hall 1, Office, Lake Garden... Garden?"
Reading down the signpost near the entrance in a classic manner, one name stood out to Dohee. For some reason, Guwon seemed to like places like that. The day they first met at the pavilion... that is, the day when, among all the kids who treated Jeong Guwon like a celebrity, she alone vowed to take him down, it was the same. It was a place you wouldn't easily find unless you liked it to begin with. Just like Dohee herself.
"...What the h-?"
"...Are you talking about me, by any chance?"
"Why is there a person here—no."
"Why so surprised? This is school property too. Did you think you were the only one who knew about it?"
When she had gone there, exhausted after a hectic weekend, there was already a guest who had arrived first. That obnoxious face, picking only the most annoying things to say to her as she stared in confusion. Their strange relationship—where they both, or perhaps just one of them, found the other unpleasant but neither thought of leaving—had continued like that. Maintaining a certain distance. Although that rule had been shattered the moment the talk of engagement came up.
"Jeong Guwon, were you here?"
Found him. I knew it. Guwon, who was looking at the small lake, turned around at the sound of his name.
"...Do Dohee, why are you—"
"What? What. I'm just here to return this, okay? It's absolutely not because I was, like, worried about you or anything."
Oh, damn it. That sounded suspicious. It really was just for that. Dohee lifted her eyelids, which she had briefly closed in anticipation of being teased, but Guwon, far from wearing his usual smirk, was just staring at her quietly. With a gaze that was unfamiliar... no, rather, one that was a bit too familiar.
"Just leave it and go. Then. Happy?"
"Huh? Oh."
"Aren't you leaving?"
It's strange. It's really strange. Even as she handed over the thin novel, an inexplicable sense of déjà vu wouldn't go away. Was it simply because of the lack of sleep?
"You... Is something wrong?"
That was why she ended up asking a question she would never normally ask. she wanted to shake off this uncomfortable feeling. It felt as if the cause of it was definitely Jeong Guwon standing before her.
"Nothing."
"Are you sure there's nothing? You're being weird right now."
"Do Dohee."
"..."
"Don't start caring all of a sudden and just get lost. You hate me. Don't you?"
"Jeong Guwon, why are you—"
"Why am I acting like this all of a sudden? You're the one being weird, Do Dohee. Isn't it a 'thank you' when someone you can't stand tells you to get lost?"
His unwavering expression, his firm lips, and the words flowing from them. Nothing about the Jeong Guwon in front of her now felt familiar.
"...Ha, fine. I do hate you. The engagement made my skin crawl. From the very beginning until now."
"I'm glad to hear you haven't changed. I'll grant your wish."
"What?"
"Let's do it—the breakup. Just like you wanted."
Her wish came true. In an entirely unexpected way, toward the conclusion she thought she wanted.
***
I had a dream. Again.
The dream, whose beginning was now a blur. The background was always similar, and the faces of the characters showed no sign of being seen even briefly, as if someone had intentionally hidden them. A voice heard in passing. That was the only remnant. Even that didn't let me hear proper sentences, like a broken tape.
"The young master has already..."
"I love you, ...-ah."
They must have had an incredibly heartbreaking love. It didn't seem like it would have been a happy ending. Even in the recurring dreams, I had never witnessed their end, but I could feel it.
"A grudge must have formed for them to come and bother someone in their dreams like this."
"Huh? What did you say?"
"Nothing, just talking to myself. I'm leaving first, okay?"
"Leaving? Hey, where are you going!"
"There's a place. You guys wouldn't know anyway-"
"Ah, that guy, he really is strange."
Strangely, I felt at peace whenever I came here. I felt like I could sleep well too. Because it was a scenery somewhat similar to the dream I kept having, I had thought so even when I dreamt that dream while briefly dozing off against a pillar.
"Do Dohee."
And you too. You, who stands before me every time I wake up from a dream, to the point where I wonder if you're part of a set with the dream. I waited, flipping through the pages of the book I was holding loosely. Until you brought up the main point.
"What's the deal?"
"With what?"
"The engagement."
There it was. An event I also received a one-sided notification for, so I had nothing more to add. It was just interesting to see you acting unlike yourself. A Do Dohee who lost her composure was a rare sight.
That's why I followed you around and bothered you. It was fun, and also...
"...He didn't come, in the end?"
"Who? Me, perhaps?"
I believed that you and that dream would have absolutely nothing to do with each other. I just thought our relationship, which had maintained a strange distance, was unfolding in an unexpected way. It wasn't hard to have the dreams that had begun to shimmer more frequently. Rather than connecting those things, I was simply pleased with the change in our relationship. But then.
"I love you, Wolsim."
So suddenly.
"Even if I forget myself, I will never forget you."
Sometimes it's better not to know the truth. The protagonist who had been rummaging through my subconscious all along was you, and it was Wolsim. The woman I must have loved. And one of the lives that had withered away because of me.
"Do Dohee."
"..."
"Don't start caring all of a sudden and just get lost. You hate me. Don't you?"
Not this time. It shouldn't be. It was time to finally break the cycle of this persistent connection—no, this ill-fated fate. There was no room for the fresh feelings that had just begun to sprout in between.