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When Julia had announced she was pregnant, Deran wasn't very interested. He was thirteen and his sister spent more time getting high and doing drugs than at home. When Smurf announced that she would not live at the house anymore, Deran just shrugged. He worried a bit, at the ease with which his mother kicked out one of her own kids. Especially since Julia was pregnant, but in the Cody household the first person you look out for is yourself.
Despite the difficult relationship, Smurf picked him up from school when Julia was in labour. Baz and Pope were both there, looking nervous and exposed in the hospital. Craig was there, high of course. Smurf was with Julia. Deran was slightly worried about the two of them being alone, but was sure his mother would not do anything in a hospital.
A few hours later Joshua was born, J, as everyone would call him. Deran was happy that he wasn't the last to hold him, that dishonour went to Craig. J was so light in his arms, so tiny. His big blue eyes stared up at him, completely quiet. Craig had said, a few months back, that soon Deran wouldn't be the baby of the family anymore. He had said it like a sneer, like it would be something negative. Deran had interpreted it as such. But now, looking at the baby, he found that it might not be so bad. The moment was over when the nurse took J back to hand him over to Julia.
It wouldn't be until three months later that they saw him again. Julia had dropped him off at the house. She had managed to stay sober, but she couldn't anymore. Both she and J were crying as she handed the baby to Pope. She said she would come back for him in a few days. Pope just stood there for a second, staring at the baby. He then promptly handed the baby to Smurf and locked himself in his room. Deran didn't really care. Not until J started crying at night and Smurf had to spend an hour getting him to shut up. Deran hated him then. Stupid baby. How dare he keep everyone up at night just because he was hungry.
It wasn't until two days later that Deran would hold the baby again. There was a job, one that couldn't be postponed. Baz, Pope and Smurf were going, Craig had to stand guard. It was up to Daren to watch the baby.
'It's just for one night, baby. You know how to clean his diaper, I showed you. He just needs to be fed once every three hours. If he cries just hold him for a little while.'
'Do I have to?' The look his mother gives him is almost painful to receive. She holds his face in his hands. Putting more pressure on his jaw than usual.
'Yes, you have to. Just for a little while. He is your nephew. You are responsible for him until we get back. Do not screw this up.' The way she said it made it sound like this was a job. With just as much seriousness as a robbery of something.
After everyone had gone it had just been him and J. The baby was laying on a little playing mat in the living room. He was still too little to do anything fun with, so Deran decided to just put on the surf competition. He kept the volume a bit low, not knowing if it was good for the baby. It went fine for about an hour. Then J decided he was done laying on the ground and started crying. For a second Deran didn't know what to do. Then he knelt down next to J and laid a hand on his tummy, like his mom had done before.
'Be quiet, you were fed an hour ago, you can't seriously be hungry again?' But J kept wailing and Deran was starting to think he was way out of his debt. He decided to pick J up. He was a lot heavier now than he was three months ago.
'Just shut up J, please. Nobody wants to be crying all the time. And men don't cry, Baz told me that.' J does not seem to care and cries even harder. His little arms moving around quickly and his little legs kicking. Deran almost drops him. He sees his life flash before his eyes for a second, because his mother would certainly kill him if he dropped the baby.
He decides it's safer to sit on the couch. He turns J around in his lap and lets him lean against him. That way he only needs one arm to hold him. He points to the tv.
'Look, J, Look! A wave, a huge one. I bet it's like 10 feet. It goes down like this.' He mimics the movement of a wave crashing down with his arm. It's ridiculous and his friends would certainly laugh at him for it, but for some reason J seems to become more quiet. He still hiccups a bit, but his eyes are transfixed while surfing on tv.
'You like surfing? Looks cool right. I can surf, not that good yet, but I'm getting there. Maybe when you're older I can take you to the beach and teach you to surf.' The idea of that suddenly excites him. Everyone always has to teach him everything, but now he has someone to teach. He can be the mentor, like Baz and Pope and Craig are.
He lifts J up a bit so that his legs are dangling and moves him like he's surfing. J starts giggling and Deran starts laughing along with him.
'You like that? I bet you'll love the beach. I bet I can teach you how to swim too. Julia taught me, it's only right I teach you in return.' They settle down on the couch watching tv. For the first time Deran actually enjoys being an uncle. He could get used to this.
Sadly he isn't the only one who enjoys being an uncle. While Baz seems the most indifferent, both Craig and Pope also seem to take shine to the boy and hog him whenever Julia drops him off. Smurf also loves him, but there are times when she doesn't even want to hold him at all. Craig says that those are the moments the baby looks too much like Julia. Deran doesn't really understand that. J doesn't look all that much like Julia to him. When J is with them for his first birthday Deran convinces everyone to go to the beach with him.
'He loves the beach!' Craig seems doubtful, throwing J in the air and catching him with ease.
'He's a baby, how do you know?'
'I just do! I bet he'll love it. Let's just go. You can surf, when have you ever said no to surfing.' Craig perks up at the idea of surfing. Luckily the Pope chimes in in support.
'You both loved the beach when you were babies. He has our genes, so surely he'll love it too.' With that it's settled.
Smurf brings along a whole cooler of snacks and beer and Baz brings Catherine. Deran claims J and takes him to the sea immediately. Just as expected, the baby absolutely loves the waves. He giggles when his feet touch the water and his little hands reach down to try and touch it. To Deran it feels like a victory. Craig joins them and puts little J on a surfboard, making him move up and down with the little waves. He screams in excitement so loud that other people are turning to look. When J gets tired they go back to the beach and have cake with the others. Catherine holds J for a moment, which gives Baz a very strange look in his eyes. For the first time in a long time, even Smurf seems completely happy and content. If Deran knew a baby could bring this much joy, he'd had asked Julia to get pregnant ages ago.
It doesn't last. Julia picks J up the next morning and they don't see either of them for another few months. This cycle continues for the next four years. Even though Deran gets older and gets more involved with the busness, he tries to always spend time with J when he comes over. Baz and Pope moved out so Deran and Craig were more or less responsible for J when Smurf didn't want to. Deran couldn't imagine anyone ever thinking he or Craig were responsible parental figures, but they managed it well enough. Girls absolutely loved J. Craig would always say that he worked like a chick magnet and that Deran should use him for that as well. He didn't of course, but taking J along was a nice excuse on why he couldn't take girls home. He had to watch the kid of course.
Deran had many different moments where he hated his family. He hated Baz and Pope, for being the way they were, he hated Craig for always being reckless as fuck. He hated his mother, sometimes, for making him feel wrong. He never hated J. The boy always looked at him with delight. He'd yell "Uncle Deran" and run into his arms. They'd go out to the overpass and throw rocks at cars and Deran imagined just keeping him in the house. Tell Julia the kid was his now.
Then the incident happens. The tension between Julia and Smurf had been growing. Julia had even let it slip to Craig that she was thinking about cutting the family off completely. Deran knew it was coming, he had known for years really. Julia would not last, their mother would not let her. Deran didn't care a lot, he would pick Smurf over Julia any day, but he did care about J. So when the tension got too much, he took the boy on his bike to their usual overpass.
'Are we going to throw rocks?' J asked when they got there, the biggest smile on his face. Deran smiled back.
'You know it, how's your aim?'
'Great! Better than uncle Craig.' Deran laughs. He had taught J to say that with everything and the toddler adored the reaction it would get from everyone.
They spent the afternoon there. Throwing rocks, riding up and down, just having fun. When J gets tired they ride back.
'Can we watch a movie tonight uncle Daren?' J asks while rubbing his eyes. Daren parks his bike and takes J's hand.
'Absolutely buddy. Point Break?' Before J can respond, Julia storms out of the house.
'J, baby, we're going.' She picks the boy up as Smurf appears, her face red with anger.
'If you leave now, don't expect to be welcomed back!'
'Don't expect me back! You're never seeing me again!' She storms off as J starts to cry. Daren stares after them for a while. He doesn't know how to feel about not getting to see them again. He pretends to be indifferent, like his mother wants him to be. It works. Right up until he finds one of J's toys left in his bedroom. He cries then, quietly. He hides the toy in his closet and leaves it there. He can pretend he doesn't care as long as he doesn't look at it.
The J that walks out of the house with Smurf is big. He doesn't smile as he sees his uncles, he barely shows any emotion at all. Deran almost doesn't recognise him. He still looks nothing like Julia. He does look a bit like Baz. Not that anyone would ever dare to say it outloud. J doesn't seem to remember them, which stings Daren more than he would ever like to admit. He leads the teenager to Pope's room and is very much reminded of how the boy used to follow him around, having to run on his tiny legs to keep up.
'Thanks uncle Deran.' J says, without any of that enthusiasm he used to have.
'Please tell me you're not going to call me that.' If Craig or Baz ask, he'll say it's because it makes him feel old. In reality it makes his heart hurt.
The next day they go surfing, him, Craig and J. J said he can surf a little, but he surprises both of them by being an extremely skilled surfer.
'We taught him that.' Craig says with a smile. Daren smiles back.
'Yeah, we taught him that.'