Chapter Text
Sandy’s pov
“Well come on out with you” my grandmother snapped at me as she opened the car door.
The house was bordering on looking like a Socs’ it probably was based on my grandparents attire. My grandfather pushed me along the path and into the house. “You are to not leave the house without express permission from me until you’re 18, and you’re to stay in your room, we’ll give you food and we mean it, DON’T COME DOWNSTAIRS YOU LITTLE SLUT” he snapped harshly pointing me towards a door. I felt tears in my eyes as I held them back.
I forced myself forward, grabbing my small bag and going up the stairs to the room that was meant to be ‘mine’. “I don’t know what we did to deserve such a slutty, whore of a granddaughter, her parents were right to disown her, I’ll be happy when we can kick her out in three weeks” my grandmother said.
I don’t know if she meant for me to hear but it hurts all the same. I hear a soft click as the door shuts.
I turned around to face the room, it’s got a single bed and some drawers and you wouldn’t be able to get anything else in. I placed my bag down on the drawers and flopped onto the bed.
“I can’t believe that we’re associated with that little slut” my grandfather’s words floated through the floor.
“I know, she's such a whore and a hussy, getting pregnant at 17, and in wedlock” my grandmother tutted.
I felt my body start to shake with restrained sobs as the words sank in, but I couldn’t let them hear me.
“She’s so disgusting, I’m glad we’ve gotten her away from that ‘boyfriend’ of hers” my grandmother commented.
It felt like a dam had broken as I lost all restraint. Did she really think I wanted to be pregnant? That I wanted to cheat on Soda? I felt tiredness pulling on my eyes as I succumbed to sleep.
Flashback
“You sure you want me to leave you here?” Soda asked as I hopped out of the car.
I sighed “yea, I told my parents I was goin’ out with friends so I don’t want them to see you, they aren’t the biggest fans of you”
“Yea, yea somethin’ ‘bout me tryin’ ta take their only daughter blah blah blah nonsense” he complained.
I laughed quietly “you workin’ tomorrow?”
“Yea Steve and me are there all day, thinkin’ ‘bout droppin’ by?” He asked maybe a bit hopeful.
“Yea if I can get out I will”
He smiled before blowing me a kiss and putting the car into drive “Bye Sandy”
“Bye Soda”
I sighed sadly as he drove away. I wish my parents liked him, but they kept complaining about how he was a year younger, then about how he dropped out. I didn’t see anything wrong, only someone who loved me and someone who I loved.
“Hey gorgeous” a man's voice called.
I kept walking.
“Hey I’m talking to you blondie” I turned to glare at whoever was calling me. It was a guy who looked like he was in his forties', he was in a car and he had this grin on his face, he looked like he was a hunter circling prey, and I was the prey.
“What’s such a gorgeous girl like you doin’ all alone? Let me take you out” he wasn’t asking, he was demanding.
“No thanks, I have a boyfriend, leave me alone please” his grin turned angry.
“So that’s how it’s gonna be huh? Get in the car bitch” he pulled out a gun. I froze before he gestured to me pointing the gun.
I had two options: get in the car or run, but he would catch me and he had a gun. I reluctantly got into the car. “See that wasn’t so difficult” I could smell the alcohol on his breath.
The man was talking as he drove but I didn’t take anything in other than that he was only in town for the weekend and that I was gorgeous. The word was starting to taste like vomit in my mouth.
He pulled into a house before forcing me inside. “You’re gonna do what I tell you or that gorgeous little face of yours will get a hole in it” I was still frozen in pure terror.
I stood just inside the door while he went into the kitchen and came back with a drink. “Drink this” he said, bringing it up to my lips. That drink was definitely drugged, I couldn’t have it, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't! “DRINK OR I SHOOT” he pressed the gun to my head and I had no other option. I drank the drink.
I felt whatever drug he’d used almost immediately. My body went numb and it felt as if it wasn’t mine. The man only smiled. My knees buckled. The man picked me up and brought me to a bedroom. He placed me on the bed.
He began to take off my clothes. No please no I tried to say but I couldn’t even move my mouth. I lay fully naked on the bed as he took off his belt, a hungry look on his face. I tried to scream. I couldn’t. I couldn’t fucking scream!
End flashback
I shot up in bed blindly punching at someone who wasn’t there. I looked around. Safe. I was safe, he wasn’t going to hurt me. I felt tears still cascading down my face. I couldn’t breathe. After what felt like hours my breathing returned to normal.
I sat in bed crying until the sun came up. Soda is the only person who has ever been able to calm me down after a nightmare. I’ve been getting them since I was little. Most of the time they’re about my parents hitting or belting me but for the last few weeks it’s been… well something worse. Soda’s been comforting me since before we were together, we were friends since Elementary school after Mr. And Mrs. Curtis insisted I stay the night after I’d been half dragged (by Soda and Johnny) there. I’d had a nightmare and Soda came to see what was wrong and he helped me and we just clicked after that.
When Pony had started getting nightmares Soda had come to me for advice! I’d told him to have someone in the same bed or room as Pony so that he’d be reassured. It had worked for the most part. I’d trust Soda with my life, he’s the only one who I’ve told about my nightmares, but I think Darry knows too because after I’d crashed on the couch one night I think he’d seen me when I woke up gasping for air.
A week later
“Girl come ‘ere” my grandfather yelled.
I’d been here a week and I hated it. Well only two weeks to go and then I’d be 18 pregnant and homeless. I hate my life, I just want to see or hear Soda. He’s like my ray of sun in the dark. Huh Ponyboy would probably be proud of that, what's it called a metaphor or is it an analogy? Anyway he’d probably like it.
I’ve been worried about Pony and Johnny all week, the day before I’d been forced to leave they’d gone missing and were suspects in killing a Soc. It made me feel so much worse for Soda, his brother ran away then his girlfriend “cheated” and left.
After my mother had found my test (which I had only just gotten the results from) she went into full military mode.
Flashback
“What is this”
“I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean-”
“First you go out with a drop out then you get PREGNANT with his child!” She turned away.
I felt tears well in my eyes. It wasn’t Soda’s, it wasn’t the man I loved’s. “It’s not his,” I said quietly.
She whirled around and slapped me across the face. Hard. I fell to the ground “You filthy little slut, I’ve had enough of you, you’re going to your grandparents. Pack a bag”
She walked out and less than a minute later my father walked in fuming “what the hell have you done you slutty bitch” he picked me up by the collar of my shirt and punched me in the face. I let out a whimper. “Ha you deserve suffering, you’re gonna end up in hell” my father said before leaving.
I picked myself up off the floor eventually and sat on my bed. I was pregnant. I was pregnant with some creepy guy's baby. And I had to tell Soda. God Soda, he’s the only good thing in my life and now I have to leave. “You’re going to Florida, be ready in 2 hours” my mother yelled from the sitting room.
I couldn’t just leave Soda like that, I couldn’t leave him “NO I’m not going to FLORIDA”
My mother came into my room. Shit shit shit, she was pissed. “What did you just say to me” “I said I’m not GOING”. She punched me in the face and I saw stars in my vision as I fell to the floor. “Listen you little brat you’re going, and your father and I are disowning you. understood?” I nodded silently. “Good, be ready to go” she left the room and I pulled myself back up.
It was just my luck that my grandparents were in Arkansas and would be here soon. Great. I packed a bag. I decided to write a letter to Soda and give it to him. I was going to tell him in person but I wanted to express how truly sorry I was and I know I can’t say it without breaking down.
Soda
I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry. I didn’t want this to happen, I love you forever and always. I don’t want to leave because that means leaving you but my “parents” are forcing me. I’m sorry.
Forever and always Sandy
I tears rolling down my face as I folded the letter up and wrote my grandparents address on the back. I looked at the clock. “Shit” I murmured, I only had 15ish minutes before my grandparents took me.
I ran to my door. Locked. I didn’t even notice it being locked. I turned to the window and opened it before jumping out. I ran as fast as I could to the Curtis’, to Soda.
When I got there he was outside leaning against the fence, I couldn't see any of the others around. Thank goodness, I couldn't do this with anyone else around. He looked up when he heard me and smiled but his smile immediately fell as he took in my face, “Sandy! What happened? Did your parents hit you again?” he looked pained to see me in distress. I cried more “I-I’m s-sorry”
“Why Doll? You ain’t done nothin’” he said cupping my face in his hands. Oh but I had I was fucking pregnant and it wasn’t Soda’s and now I was just leaving him, while his kid brother was missing. I had to tell him, I couldn’t just leave.
“I’m pregnant” I whispered. It looked like the news physically hit him. He knew it wasn’t his, we hadn’t even gotten to that stage yet. He looked from my stomach to my eyes which were filling with more tears.
“I-I-I’m Sorry, I-I’m a h-horrible p-per-” I stammered but he cut me off.
“Shhh, it’s okay, huh well not okay but I don’t care, I still wanna marry you, and I’ll be a father okay? I still love you, forever and always” His eyes looked pained but he spoke softly. His words only made me feel worse, he’s such a good person and I’m horrible I’m pregnant and it’s not his it’s not freaking his.
“I’m goin’ to Florida” I said between sobs. I saw his heart break as he grabbed me in a hug before pulling away and cupping my face again.
“Please don’t go, what about forever and always?” He said. He sounded so innocent and childish, it broke my heart completely.
I saw a car coming from over Soda’s shoulder. It was my grandparents. I stopped crying as much as I could. I only ever cried in front of the gang (mostly Soda but if I was hurt I didn’t mind the others seeing me cry) and sometimes my parents if they hurt me real bad.
“Sandra get in the car” my grandfather said it calmly, too calmly.
“I’m sorry” I whispered, pushing my letter into Soda’s hands before getting into the car. I looked out the back window as we drove away. Soda looked heart broken and I saw tears start to fall down his face, I looked at him and started to cry silently. I was ignored the entire way to Florida.
End flashback
I walked into the sitting room. “Get the mail” he said. That was it, no “morning” just “get the mail”
I got the mail. One letter caught my attention, it had my name on it, and it was written in Soda’s writing. He’d actually written to me! I went inside and handed the other two letters to my grandfather before going to open mine.
“What do you have!” My grandmother demanded sharply. I stayed silent. She came over, looked at the letter in my hands and snatched it from me. “Hey that’s mine!”
She backhanded me across the face “you do not get to communicate with that “boyfriend” of yours, now GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM!” she snapped.
I picked myself up and went to my room. My face stung, it would definitely bruise. Yay another to add to the collection. It wasn’t fair, Soda actually still cared enough to write but I couldn’t even read the letter.
Two weeks later (the day before Sandy's 18th birthday)
I was lying in bed reading To Kill a Mockingbird. The book had been a gift from Pony, we’d been talking about books, and he was going on about it and when I’d told him I hadn’t read it he looked at me like I’d committed a crime. He’d offered me his copy and after I’d refused saying I couldn’t take it even if it was just borrowing he’d looked like he was planning something. The next day he handed me a new copy “Pony you shouldn’t spend your money on me!” I exclaimed. “I didn’t, Two’ nabbed it for me. It’s yours, please take it, you're the only other person who really digs books like I do and I wanna talk about it!” Pony’d begged. I’d taken it much to Pony’s joy.
I wasn’t getting very far at the moment though, I couldn’t focus on the page, my mind kept wandering. My grandparents were kicking me out tomorrow since I’d be 18 and they didn’t have any legal obligation. I have no idea where I’m gonna go. But I know that I have to call the Curtis’ or more specifically Darry. I know that he probably hates me for hurting Soda but he’s the only one who I think I’d trust for advice, I also needed to know what happened with Ponyboy and Johnny.
“Sandra we’re going out, you are not to leave your room” my grandfather said barging into my room. I nodded and he left. I waited until I heard the car drive away before I quietly snuck downstairs. I went into the sitting room and grabbed the phone before quickly dialling the number that’d been practically engraved into my mind since I was eight. It rang once. Twice.
“Hello Curtis residence”
I let out a relieved breath “hey Darry”
I could nearly hear his anger build before he spoke “you’re not talkin’ to him Sandy, you’ve broken his heart enough especially with the letter”
“I-I know, I don’t deserve to anyway, I wanted to talk to you, but what do mean about the letter?”
“You returned it unopened, I damn nearly broke him that you didn’t even hear him out” his voice was raised.
They fucking returned unopened, how dare they, how freaking dare they I let out a sob before speaking “I wanted to read it, my stupid grandmother took it before I could”
“It still broke him” his tone was softer.
“I know, I miss him, I miss you all but mostly him”
“Your parents skipped town, said they were ashamed”
“I thought they would. Are Pony and Johnny okay?” I asked abruptly, praying for the best.
I heard Darry sigh “yeah, there back now, neither got changed with anything, ‘cause it was self defence since the bastard was tryin’a drown Pony, they also saved a bunch’a kids from a fire which helped”
I let out a breath I didn’t realise I’d been holding “thank goodness, I’ve been worried about them”
“You and me both, ‘nything else or…”
“I know you can’t do ‘nything but I need your advice, my grandparents are kickin’ me out tomorrow”
“I’m not sure what to say, maybe a shelter?”
I sighed “just thought if anyone knew it’d be you. Listen please tell Soda I’m sorry”
“Maybe you should’a thought about that before you cheated on him” his voice was a mix of anger and protection.
A tear rolled down my face “I didn’t cheat on him”
“Then the baby’s his!? Or is there even one?”
“There is a baby, but it’s not his”
“If it’s not his then I think ya cheated”
“I didn’t cheat! Soda’s the love of my life, I would never cheat on him!” I was barely not sobbing.
“Then how-” I could almost hear him realise “oh my god Sandy were you- did some guy…”
I lost any control I had and I started sobbing hard. I heard him sigh, like my reaction had confirmed his theory. “Glory- I’m.. I don’t really know what to say but I’ll help you out and I forgive you a bit for breaking Soda”
Relief flooded through me, I wasn't going to be alone. “T-tanks” I stammered.
“It’s the least I can do, I mean my kid brother loves you an’ all, tomorrow could you go to the nearest trainstation, there’s probably one in town, once you there could you give me a call? Also, would you have any money for a ticket?”
“Uhh yea, yea i have a little bit and I think I can get to the train station”
“Great, I’ll arrange more in the morning-”
I saw the headlights of my grandparents car appear at the end of the driveway “Shit, Darry I’ve gotta go, I’m not meant to leave my room and my grandparents just got back, I’ll call tomorrow?" I said quickly.
“Yea,I’ll be waiting. And Sandy, It's not your fault”
I put down the phone and ran upstairs and closed my door just as I heard the front door opening. I collapsed onto the bed Darry’s words still echoing in my head “it’s not your fault” I’m not sure, maybe if I hadn’t gone out with Soda that night or if I’d been walking faster or if I’d fought harder it wouldn’t’ve happened. Maybe it’s not entirely my fault but it’s at least partly my fault. I got up and made sure all the stuff I brought was in my bag. It’s not like I unpacked or anything but I just had to be sure, I grabbed my book and put it back in. I collapsed back onto the bed and fell asleep.
I woke to yelling “UP SANDRA UP!”
I shot up out of bed, grabbed my bag and rushed downstairs where my grandparents were waiting for me with a look of satisfaction on their faces. “As you know you’re not welcome here anymore so as a parting gift we give you this” she handed me a map of the town. Thank god or whoever’s up there, I hadn’t had any idea how to get to the train station and now here was a map. “Now get out” her tone was dangerously low so I nearly sprinted out of the house. I caught sight of my face in a mirror before the door slammed shut. I hadn’t seen my reflection in three weeks (since I got here), I looked pretty bad between my parents and grandparents, my face was bruised up and I’ve a black eye. Oh well, too bad I guess.
To my relief I wasn’t actually too far from the station; it only took about 20ish minutes to walk there but I’m not sure ‘cause I’ve no real way to tell the time. I went straight over to the pay phone and called Darry.
“Hello, Sandy is that you?”
“Yea, I’m at the station”
“Okay, so if you wanna get a ticket for the next train to the town that’s on the border between Oklahoma and Arkansas then Soda and I’ll be able to pick you up, call back once you got the ticket”
“Okay” I said before hanging up and going to the ticket desk “Hello mam could I get a ticket to the border of Oklahoma and Arkansas?”
“Of course sweetie, when do you wanna go?” She had a smile plastered on her face so I couldn’t tell if she was being genuine or not.
“Uhh as soon as possible?”
“Okay well we have one in 30 minutes”
“Yes that’s good please”
“Okay, that’s 12$”
I handed her the money and she gave me a ticket before I went to call Darry again.
“I got a ticket on a train in 30 minutes” I said once I heard Darry pick up.
“Okay great! We’ll leave now then. Also Sandy I didn’t tell Soda ‘bout what happened only that you were sorry an’ I forgave ya enough to help you. You’re gonna have ta tell ‘im yourself, I don’t mind when but it’d probably be easiest on the way back”
I nodded before realising Darry couldn’t see “yea okay I’ll tell him”
“See ya in a few hours”
“Yea” I echoed before hanging up. God I still had to tell Soda. I know I have to, hell I think he already knows something happened, he probably assumed my parents were getting worse whenever I flinched. I wish that was why I’d started flinching more, lord knows I wish that was the reason. I was pulled out of my thoughts when there was an announcement that the train I’d be getting was leaving in five minutes. I grabbed my bag and walked over onto the train finding an unoccupied seat and sat down.
I was only going to be on the train for about two hours since I wasn’t going all the way. Two hours until I can see Sodapop again.