Archive of Our Own

Stelle woke to the unusual sound of rain pelting the large glass window above her bed. It was a soothing sound that made her want to snuggle deeper into the thick blankets. She rolled over to do so only to realize she was alone. This discovery dispelled the fog of sleep from her mind and slowly she blinked her eyes open to ascertain the truth. Dan Heng wasn’t there. She tried to listen for any movement in the room or sounds of the shower, but it was raining so hard that it was difficult to make out any other noises. Stelle scrunched her nose in displeasure. It wasn’t abnormal for him to slip away in the early morning hours. He was likely keen to explore the place they were stationed at. She couldn’t blame him, but she wished he had waited for her.

She dragged herself upright and yawned. The rain made her so sleepy. When she lifted her gaze to the window the sight of gray skies and rivulets of water running down the glass was surreal. She was used to staring out into the blackness of space and counting all the twinkling stars as she drifted off to sleep. They arrived on this sleepy planet yesterday during the monsoon and apparently today’s weather would be no different. She forced herself to crawl out of her nest of blankets. Stelle grabbed the hem of the long shirt she often wore to bed and pulled it lazily over her head.

It had been little more than a year since her relationship with Dan Heng had begun. Time had led to a comfortable familiarity with each other that she enjoyed. Yet despite his warnings that his ruts would continue to happen, he hadn’t had one again in all this time. She certainly hadn’t forgotten the two times she had experienced it even after all this time had passed. Now dressed, Stelle examined herself in the mirror and smiled to herself in amusement at a sudden memory.

“Wouldn’t calling it a rut instead of a heat cycle make more sense?” she had inquired one day while sprawled across his futon. She turned her head to stare at him where he was sitting at his desk.

There was a long pause. She could sense his confusion.

“Yes,” he finally replied without looking up.

“Then why is it called a heat cycle for you?”

“It isn’t.”

Stelle blinked. “It isn’t?”

“You’re the one who called it that. It was how you understood it, so I just went with it. In my case, it doesn’t really matter what you call it because there is no biological purpose to it.”

“A heat rut.”

“That’s not…” He paused, realizing something, before he shot her an exasperated stare. “You said that on purpose,” he observed.

Stelle threw her head back, laughing. “I activated the biologist in you, huh?”

“I’m surprised you’ve been reading those textbooks. They’re dense and scientific.”

“Are you saying I’m too stupid for them?” she teased him.

“No, I’m saying they’re too boring for you.”

“They were, but the look on your face just now was worth it.”

Dan Heng tried but failed to conceal an amused smile. He turned away to bury his nose back into his documents. “Be quiet. I’m trying to work.”

Stelle tugged on her boots. It made little difference to her whether he had ruts or not. She knew it was his preference that he didn’t, and she couldn’t really blame him. Still, she couldn’t help but wonder why it had stopped. Curiosity had compelled her to ask him a few times, but he had no explanation either. At least their intimacy in bed didn’t need any extra help and now familiarity allowed them to have all kinds of fun. She had discovered quickly that even without this affliction, the vitality of a long-life species was certainly something. This was a boon as far as Stelle was concerned, even though she felt guilty she couldn’t usually keep up.

She paused at the door of her room. There was a dull ache between her thighs. Heat crept up the back of her neck. She wasn’t sure why her thoughts had wandered in such a lewd direction, but she was starting to feel the consequences of them. Focus, Stelle, she sighed at herself. This isn’t the time. These were thoughts for intimate nights, not first thing in the morning.

Stelle opened the door and left her thoughts in her room where they belonged. Descending the stairs, she found March, Himeko and Welt gathered in the party car. Sunday and Black Swan were absent, but that was common.

March greeted her by enthusiastically waving with both hands. “Hey, you’re finally up! I thought I was gonna have to text you.”

Stelle scratched the back of her head sheepishly. “The rain made me wanna sleep in.”

March nodded with an understanding look on her face. She swung her legs from where she sat on the high bar stool. “It’s nice, right? We never get to see such normal weather.”

Her eyes swept over the room. “Is Dan Heng not here?”

“He left early this morning,” Welt informed her. “I imagine he must be very curious about how so many Vidyadhara came to live on such a faraway planet.”

Stelle nodded slowly. “That makes sense. I’m kinda curious too. Any luck, Himeko?”

She was seated elegantly in one of the booths, legs crossed at the ankle and hands folded in her lap. She shook her head but gave Stelle a reassuring smile. “They don’t have much in the way of parts, but don’t worry. I have an idea that should work in getting us going again. It’ll be enough for us to make it to Herta’s Space Station for proper repairs. Then from there, to our next destination. Pom-Pom and I should have it done in a few days.”

“You kids should go see the sights in the meantime,” Welt added. “Dan Heng and I both determined it was a safe place and the locals aren’t hostile. So long as none of you stray outside the city, it should be fine to explore.”

“I wandered around earlier but the people all act so stiff and formal,” March complained. “Like Dan Heng.”

Stelle grinned. “He’s not even here to defend himself, March.”

March giggled and hopped off her seat, stretching her arms slowly over her head. “The city has a great feel to it, but I think I’ll rest for today.”

“Well, I’ll go out,” Stelle decided. “I haven’t looked around yet.” And I want to find out what Dan Heng is up to.

“Don’t forget an umbrella,” Himeko said thoughtfully. “Welt was kind enough to buy some for us when he scouted the city yesterday. They should be in the parlor car as you leave.”

“Okay, thanks!” Stelle called as she headed for the exit.

A few moments later, Stelle was strolling on the sidewalk pavement with a black umbrella clutched in her hands. The rain was loud on the vinyl, but it kept her nice and dry. The weather had made the city streets empty. The few brave souls that had ventured out were rushing by quickly with their own umbrellas shielding them from the storm. A few unfortunate souls only had their coats thrown over their heads as they passed by. The streets were all made for pedestrians in this city. She hadn’t noticed any vehicles of any kind since arriving here nor anything that seemed to indicate they even existed on this planet in the first place. Does everyone just walk everywhere all the time? she wondered.

The modern skyscrapers and high risers separated only by roads made for walking made the city feel cramped. Stelle craned her neck to stare into the grey sky and observe the tops of all the buildings. In some ways, this planet was so much more normal than the others they had visited. There was nothing much to it except people living daily lives. The technology being less than what they were used to which made fixing the Express difficult was unfortunate, but there was something about the languid way this city operated that Stelle found charming.

Now how do I find Dan Heng? She had texted him after she had left asking where he was, but that had been twenty minutes ago. He hadn’t responded yet. This was pretty normal for him when he got busy exploring a planet so she wasn’t worried, but it did make her even more curious what he was doing. After aimlessly wandering for an additional fifteen minutes, Stelle stumbled upon a small path that cut between two smaller, flatter houses. They looked much older than all the other buildings in the city. The old-style roof, long pillars and white walls instantly brought to mind the Xianzhou style houses she’d seen on the Luofu. Vines had grown up along the sides and gave the impression these houses were abandoned. The path itself was overgrown with reeds.

The way it looked so out of place immediately compelled Stelle to turn and walk down it. The two small houses were flanked by two much newer high rises which gave the path an alleyway feeling. At the end of it she found a red torii gate that opened to a wider space located behind one of the high rises. Here she found a circled pavilion that was old and weathered that overlooked a stagnant pond overrun with more reeds. Lily pads with blooming flowers on them floated in the water that was mostly green with algae and fluffy cattails swayed from the force of the rain.

It was here standing in the pavilion that she found Dan Heng. He looked picturesque among the natural scenery. Places like this always seemed like they suited him best. She smiled and watched in secrecy for a few moments.

Eventually he sensed her presence and Dan Heng turned to glance over his shoulder at her. His expression showed his surprise plainly. “Stelle? What are you doing?"

Stelle grinned. It was rare that she caught him off guard. She approached the pavilion and once she slipped under its roof, she closed the umbrella. “I could ask you the same thing,” she chuckled as she shook the water off her umbrella. “Are you ignoring my texts?”

“No, I forgot my phone. I left it on your nightstand.”

“Oh… I guess I didn’t notice it,” she said sheepishly. My thoughts were a little distracting this morning.

Laying the umbrella down on the bench beside his own, she stepped over to where he was standing to settle at his side. She rested her hands on the banister and leaned forward to peer out at the landscape. An impressive willow tree grew on the far shore of the pond. Its branches hung just shy of the water’s surface. The raindrops caused unceasing ripples to spread rapidly across the surface, but they were much calmer underneath the willow’s protection.

“Wow, this place is so pretty,” she observed.

“It’s nice,” Dan Hen agreed. “There isn’t much natural landscape here. This is one of the few spots that maintains any greenery. Apparently, all the spots like it are protected by the Vidyadhara that live here.”

Stelle rocked back onto her feet and glanced up at him. “So, you got to speak to some of them?”

He sighed warily. “Yes, but I had to tell them the truth.”

“You told them who you were?” She failed to hide the disbelief in her voice. If anything, she would assume he would want to hide his identity as Imbibitor Lunae from other Vidyadhara given the history.

“I showed them,” he admitted.

Her eyes widened. “You did?”

“They were already suspicious,” he explained. “Most of the Vidyadhara here are from the Fanghu that were displaced when it was badly damaged, but a few are from the Luofu that fled during the Sedition. Their de facto leader asked me rather harshly that I be honest, so I acquiesced. I didn’t want to cause any trouble.”

Hearing that made Stelle annoyed. Leader or not, no one had the right to make that kind of demand of him. “Are they all fugitives or something?” Stelle wondered. “I thought the Xianzhou had strict rules about long life species settling on other planets.”

“You’re right, but the rules are less strict for the Vidyadhara,” Dan Heng explained. “Since we can’t reproduce, there is no risk of overpopulation that drains the planet’s resources while we live out our long lives. So no, I do not believe they’re fugitives. I think they just decided to live here to escape the war against the Abundance. I’m just surprised the Xianzhou Alliance gave so many of them permission.”

She nodded slowly as she processed the information. “So, they don’t mind who you are?”

“I wouldn’t say that,” he replied grimly, “but I think most of them will just avoid me. There shouldn’t be any problems for the Express.”

Stelle laughed softly and bumped his shoulder lightly with hers. “I was more worried about them causing problems for you. You know the rest of us have your back, Dan Heng. Especially me.”

His expression softened and a light smile touched his lips. “I know. Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me either,” she reminded. “Loving you is easy.”

His ears turned a pleasant scarlet. He glanced away and Stelle laughed at his dilemma. Teasing him was easy too.

“I was going to walk around the city,” she said. “Do you want to come with me? March didn’t want to.”

Before he could reply, soft footsteps approaching them drew their attention. Turning, Stelle saw a young Vidyadhara woman with long hair standing at the mouth of the pavilion. Her umbrella was bright yellow which matched nicely with her colorful attire and black hair. Many colored earrings dangled from her long ears.

She smiled pleasantly at Dan Heng. “Oh good, you’re still here. I was worried I had missed you.”

There was a glimmer of recognition in Dan Heng’s eyes. “Hello again, Miss Jun. Is something the matter?”

“No, not at all. I came back because I’d like to invite you to a formal banquet we’re having two nights from now. We would be most honored to have you attend and witness the unique culture we have cultivated for ourselves on this planet.” She nodded her head towards Stelle, gaze flickering between them. “Your mate is most welcome to attend as well. This is an open event.”

It was Stelle’s turn to blush. Are we that obvious?

Dan Heng looked hesitant. Jun’s smile widened a bit to hide her amusement. “You do not have to give me an answer. Either arrive or don’t. You’ll be treated as just another guest if you do and there are certainly no consequences if you decide against it.”

“I see,” he responded quietly. “I’ll think about it.”

“Of course,” she tittered. “We’ll leave a suite free for you in the building that is hosting the event. It’s best to stay there if you plan to enjoy the complimentary drinks.”

“Is it the same building we met at it?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

She bowed her head politely before she sauntered down the path. They were quiet for a moment as they watched her go. Once she was out of sight Stelle spoke up, “Is she the leader you met with?”

“No, she’s her mate. She was more amicable toward me than Miss Niwa was, but… I’m still surprised she was allowed to invite me like that,” Dan Heng mused, frowning.

“It sounds like fun,” Stelle said cheerfully. “It’s not a specific event for Vidyadhara so it should be fine, right?”

Dan Heng turned to her, eyebrows arched in surprise. “You want to go?”

Stelle grinned. “She said free drinks.”

He released a long-suffering sigh but smiled. “If you get drunk then I’ll be forced to stay sober to take care of you. You’re even more unruly when you’ve been drinking.”

“C’mon! We’re on vacation.”

“We’re not on vacation. We broke down.”

“Yeah, so while we’re here, we should think of it as a vacation.” Stelle shuffled closer so she could whisper in his ear. “We could have a lot of fun in a hotel room all to ourselves.”

His hand traveled up her back, and he wove his fingertips into the ends of her hair. “Is that so?” he chuckled lowly. “Is that your actual motive?”

“Maybe.” She smiled with feigned innocence and pulled away. “But if you don’t want to go, I understand.”

“I don’t mind,” he said, “but it’s formal so we would have to dress appropriately.”

“Hey, I can dress formally,” she protested. Stelle paused, contemplating. “You’re really okay with going? Don’t agree just because I want to go.”

“I’m fine with it,” Dan Heng reassured her. “I’m curious about their unique culture that Miss Jun mentioned. Vidyadhara who have lived a few hundred years separated from the typical traditions of our race and the Xianzhou ships might be worth documenting.”

Stelle tossed her head back and laughed. “Right. I should’ve known.” Nothing convinced him to leave the Archives more than a chance to add new things to it. It was one of the many things she found endearing about him.

Regardless of his reason, she was happy he agreed. Joining a leisurely party for food and drinks was a nice change of pace from the usual life-threatening adventures of the Trailblaze. It would be a good time. Stelle would make sure of it.

The next day March joined them to explore around the city. Despite what she had said yesterday, the unique blend of Xianzhou styles with a more urban and modern twist appealed to the fashionista in her. This was good news for Stelle who had decided upon inspection of her closet that none of her formal clothes matched the setting very well. So, before returning to the Express, Stelle had requested March’s help finding something more suitable.

March made a face at her following this request. She glanced between them. “Huh? Do you two really need my help with that?”

“I didn’t ask for help,” Dan Heng pointed out.

“Yeah, but you’re the most helpless,” March complained. “Between me and Himeko, Stelle already knows everything.”

Stelle flipped her hair over her shoulder dramatically. “While it’s true that I’m perfect, I want to look perfect too. I am the date of the prestigious Imbibitor Lunae, after all. I need to look the part, and this is beyond my measly skill level.”

“You’ll look fine in anything,” Dan Heng said softly, watching her with a meaningful expression.

Stelle grinned. “You’re right, but I like when you say it.”

“You two are so gross,” March sighed.

Stelle whirled around to pout. “Hey, I said you were invited too…”

A guilty conscience had gotten the better of her at the prospect of leaving March behind. So, she had told her friend about the party during their outing today and invited her along. Although she had joked with Dan Heng about having some private time in their hotel room, enjoying the night as a trio and then returning to the Express instead for a movie night sounded just as nice. It had been a long time since their last one and she knew Dan Heng wouldn’t have minded either way.

“Didn’t you want this to be a date?” March asked.

“Well, we can have one any time. I thought a night together as friends would be more fun.” Dan Heng nodded silently in agreement.

March smiled but shook her head. “I appreciate that you thought of me, but it doesn’t sound that fun. Maybe if it was more casual. All that strict traditional stuff the Vidyadhara love makes me so nervous. I think I’ll just stay in and convince Sunday to have a movie night with me instead.” She paused then added, “Besides, I don’t wanna be there and watch you two be gross.”

Stelle gave her a flat look and March laughed. She winked at her. “Buuuuut don’t worry! I’ll use all my hard-earned knowledge to make you look amazing for it. More importantly, I’ll help Dan Heng too, so he doesn’t make you look bad.”

“I’ll pass,” Dan Heng replied without missing a beat.

March stuck her tongue out at him and Stelle laughed.

In the end, Dan Heng escaped while March and Stelle did some shopping around the city. There were a surprising number of stores to browse. Stelle settled on a gown that looked a little more modern than most of the other styles, but she thought it suited her better. The natives of this planet favored it more anyway versus the Vidyadhara that had blended their style with it. The dress was sultry, but elegant. March had approved, so that was enough for her.

When Stelle finally returned alone to her room, Dan Heng was still nowhere to be found. His phone had been forgotten on her nightstand again. He must be really curious about the Vidyadhara here, she chuckled as she hung up the dress in her closet. Given how cagey he could be about his people she would’ve assumed he had no interest in learning about them.

Stelle decided to take advantage of her solo time to take a long shower. When her fingers were sufficiently pruney she finally emerged only to be startled to find Dan Heng had returned.

“Welcome back,” she greeted cheerfully. Wrapped in only a towel with an extra one draped over her shoulders, Stelle trailed water droplets across the floor as she approached him.

He was at her nightstand retrieving his phone. She frowned at him. “Are you going back to the Archives for the night?”

His expression told her she had guessed correctly. Having been called out, he wavered. “Do you want me to stay?” he inquired.

“Of course I do,” she said. “You should always just stay with me.” He normally did but some nights he still preferred to sleep alone among his books and data servers. Sometimes she joined him there even if she hated that futon he called a bed.

Dan Heng smiled faintly, amusement flickering in his gaze. “Then I’ll stay.” He placed his phone back down on the nightstand. He lifted the extra towel off her shoulders and put it over her head, rubbing her hair vigorously. “You’re dripping water all over the floor.”

She squirmed away and waved her arms at him. “It’s my room, I’ll do what I want.”

“You’ll catch a cold.”

“I will not.”

He shook his head slowly and conceded. “Did you find what you needed for the banquet?”

“Of course,” she said proudly. She crossed the room towards her dresser. “I got something I liked that March also thought looked good. I know I don’t dress up well, but it should be good enough. I won’t make you look bad.”

“Are you actually worried about that?” he asked gently.

Stelle paused with the drawer open and hesitated. She was and wasn’t, so answering him was difficult. Compared to most Vidyadhara she’d met, him especially, she stuck out like a sore thumb. She was plain. There was no ethereal beauty to her human appearance. But Stelle also knew that no matter what she did she would never earn approval from the Vidyadhara because she wasn’t one. So, feeling inferior to them was fruitless.

“Maybe a little bit,” she finally settled on for her reply. “I know I can’t please them because I’m not a Vidyadhara, but…. I’d like for them to approve of me being with you at least a little.”

She pulled out her baggy sleep shirt and a pair of underwear from the drawer. She suddenly felt his presence behind her and turned around, startled. She hadn’t even heard him move.

“Miss Bailu does,” he pointed out. “Miss Lingsha does too. There are many Vidyadhara who take other species as their mates who wouldn’t judge you.”

“I know, I know,” she sighed. “It’s irrational, right? But I still want to look nice for you. I really want to wow them.”

He plucked the towel off her head. “You always look nice.”

Heat crept up the back of her neck. “I know that’s not true. You don’t think that after I’ve dug around in some trash cans.”

“Hm… maybe you’re right.”

Stelle laughed and nudged him aside. “I’m not that worried. I promise. I just thought I should put in the effort.”

She pulled the towel off her and thrust it towards him. He took it obediently. “Then… I hope I won’t make you look bad either. I picked something out on my own.”

Stelle pulled the shirt over her head and blinked at him when her head emerged from the shirt collar. “You don’t have anything either?”

“Not really,” Dan Heng admitted. “Does that really surprise you?”

“Nope,” she laughed as she slipped on her panties. “But I think it’s impossible for you to look bad.”

“If you say so,” he chuckled.

He turned away to take her towels to the bathroom. She gave his retreating back a flat look for his skepticism, but she was aware of her hypocrisy. He’d told her the same thing, and she’d been just as dismissive. She smiled. They had come a long way with each other.

A few idle conversations later and after he properly got ready for bed, they settled into Stelle’s bed for the night in comfortable silence. Just as Stelle was beginning to grow too sleepy to keep gaming on her phone, Dan Heng spoke up, “Whatever they might say to you at the banquet tomorrow, don’t let it bother you.”

Stelle rolled over on her back to peer up at him. He was propped up on some pillows where he had been reading quietly for a little while. Now he gazed at her with his usual concern. She smiled at him. “Are you worrying about my worries?” she teased.

“I’m saying you shouldn’t be worried at all,” he insisted. “You don’t have to impress them. They aren’t worth it.”

“You’re worth it,” she countered.

“You don’t have to impress me either,” he deadpanned.

Stelle hummed thoughtfully. She pushed herself upright and abruptly snatched the book out of his hands. Given he was watching her he could’ve easily prevented it, yet he made no movements. Instead, when she replaced the book with herself by sitting on his lap, he obediently drew his arms around her. He gave her a quizzical look.

“I don’t,” she agreed softly, “but I want to. If you’re stuck with me then I want to always do right by you.”

“I don’t really view it that way,” he said. “I don’t want you to think it’s like that either.”

“I know, I know,” she sighed, “but it is like that even if it worked out for us. So… I want to be worthy.” If he wasn’t allowed a choice, then Stelle wanted to be the right one. It was important to her because his situation was on her mind more often than she wanted to admit. His life had been so difficult that the cruelty of this being layered on top of it weighed on her.

I can’t change what he went through in the past, but I can be a better future for him, she decided.

Dan Heng pulled her against his chest into an embrace and nuzzled her neck affectionately. “You are,” he reassured her.

Stelle smiled. “Well, all that matters is that you think so.”

The nature of his condition—defect always sounded too harsh—left the door open for doubt. Dan Heng had given her enough information by now for Stelle to draw her own unpleasant conclusions about what a relationship under a forced “fated bond” might endure. Beyond the fact that only the Vidyadhara would be bound, Stelle wondered if love was even a consideration for the trigger that sparked the connection. Dan Heng had explained it like it was nature’s insurance that the Vidyadhara’s ancestors of the past kept breeding. Love wasn’t really a necessity for that. But to Stelle it sounded more supernatural than biological. Considering what the Vidyadhara were, maybe it was one in the same for them.

And because of it all, Stelle wanted to make sure he never doubted that love was a factor for her. She would never want to be with anyone else.

“But if I can show them how great I am, that’s just a bonus,” she added after a comfortable silence.

He laughed softly. His breath tickled her skin and short, silky black strands of his hair tickled her cheek. “Don’t get carried away.”

“That’s not my style.”

She forced his head up so she could kiss him. He melted under the familiar sensation. When she pulled away, she kissed his cheek, then beneath his ear. She tugged down the collar of his shirt and kissed his neck for a while. His breathing hitched when she sucked a bruise into his skin. His fingers brushed into her hair and tugged lightly on the strands.

“Don’t get carried away,” he repeated but his voice was warmer and lighter with amusement.

“Just marking my territory,” Stelle giggled. She leaned back and admired her work. The light flush on his cheeks and ears was a nice touch.

“I don’t think that’s necessary.”

“But what if some pretty Vidyadhara woman hits on you?”

“That definitely won’t happen.”

“Well, now if it does, I have legal grounds to hit them with my bat.”

“Go to sleep, Stelle.”

Dan Heng was gone by the time Stelle woke up, but he had sent her a text telling her he’d gone ahead to the venue to check into their hotel room. She got the feeling he was also surveying the location to make sure it was safe. They had no reason to distrust the invitation but given Dan Heng’s tenuous status among the Vidyadhara he was being extra cautious.

The others on the Express had been informed about their plans already, but Stelle took the time to bid them goodbye before she left that afternoon. It was only for a night, but she knew it was important to Himeko and Welt that they knew their whereabouts. March told her she successfully gotten Sunday roped into a movie night with her, so Stelle silently wished him good luck. Movie nights with March always turned into marathons that stretched late into the night.

Stelle arrived a short while later at the hotel entrance. It was a tall building with twelve floors and a large lobby. The banquet was supposed to be hosted in the adjacent ballroom. She wanted to poke her head in, but Dan Heng was already waiting for her when she entered the building.

“They asked for my help with some of the preparations,” Dan Heng told her as they went into the elevator. “So, I might be a bit busy today. But I’ll be with you tonight when it starts.”

“Huh? Why do they need your help?” she asked.

“They want to include Xianzhou styles into the decorations, but they aren’t sure what to use. They’re worried they might accidentally display something disrespect. So, they wanted my help.”

Stelle nodded. “I see.” He was too kind for his own good sometimes. Stelle was a little annoyed at how willing he was to help them. When she thought about how their leader had demanded to see his true form and that some of the Vidyadhara here were originally from the Luofu, she got angry on his behalf. They didn’t deserve his kindness.

“Well, I guess you can learn a lot from them in return,” she said after a long pause.

The elevator doors opened and he picked up her light suitcase as they stepped out. “I think so too,” he agreed.

After bringing her to the room, they went out for something to eat before he disappeared for the rest of the evening to assist with the set up. Left to her own devices, Stelle wandered the city again on her own until it was time to get ready. Although she hadn’t seen him, there was evidence he had stopped by the room while she was out. She wondered if he had gotten changed early knowing he’d be busy.

Stelle rummaged through her bag to pull out her clothes and set upon the laborious task of getting dressed. March had called it “getting fancy” and Himeko had called it “getting dolled up”. Stelle called it “annoying”. Still, it was different for her, so she was a little excited. When she was finally satisfied with herself, she admired the dress in the body length mirror in the bathroom.

It was glittering dark gold and black. The length dragged long behind her but came only to her knees at the front. It complemented her bright gold eyes and ash grey hair. The dress was held on with crossing straps over her shoulders and had no sleeves. Woven lace was crisscrossed down her back and the open back of the dress dipped enticingly low. The fabric was much tighter than she was used to so that it could accent the natural curves of her hips and generous swell of her breasts. The low cut in the front remained just high enough to be alluring but retain modesty.

Stelle had chosen this dress. She liked it and March had approved too. Yet she still couldn’t help but feel like a fish out of water. She hardly recognized herself. The makeup and her hair pinned into a loose but precise bun made her face look mature. It was a much different look than her usual preference of loose shirts and unkempt hair.

Stelle smiled at her reflection. I think I look pretty good, she decided proudly. I bet Dan Heng won’t be expecting it.

But as it turned out, she wasn’t expecting his look either.

When the hour approached and the banquet began, Stelle waited a few extra minutes before making her way down to the lobby. Given how tied up he’d been she anticipated having to search for him but found him waiting at the entrance for her instead. He had shed his usual human guise in favor of his Vidyadhara form which was the first surprise. The long, translucent horns glowing turquoise against his bangs of dark hair made him stand out among the other guests. He wore a modernized Xianzhou robe not unlike the style he had worn as Imbibitor Lunae the first time she’d seen him on the shores of the Scalegorge Waterscape. Yet it still had a unique touch to it that was his alone, rather than that of his predecessor. It was white and turquoise with many black and gold accents. It was tucked neatly into the front of his dress pants but hung long in the back. He’d chosen to go along with the blend of the modern and traditional styles that the Vidyadhara of this planet enjoyed. It was a good look on him.

She approached him with wide eyes. “You transformed,” she stated incredulously.

“Is that bad?” he asked immediately, frowning.

“Of course not,” she laughed. She reached up to straighten the high collar of his robe. She noticed the more elaborate earrings adorning his long ears. “I was just surprised. You look amazing.”

He reached up to take her hands. “So do you.”

Stelle beamed but couldn’t help the playful smirk that crossed her face. “Is this why you got all dressed up in secret? So mysterious.”

The embarrassed flush on his face made her giggle. “That’s not why,” Dan Heng protested. “They wanted my help so early that I wasn’t sure I’d have time to change before it began. So, I got ready first. I just thought… appearing this way was better this time.”

Her smile widened. “Well, if it was your choice, then I’m glad. But they’ve been taking up a lot of your time since we got here, so now it’s my turn,” Stelle declared.

Amusement appeared in his bright eyes and he nodded. He offered her his arm and she took it. “Let’s go.”

The banquet was surprisingly lavish. Stelle got the impression this was a gathering for the more elite members of this society and not everyone present were Vidyadhara. The rich food spread out on decorated tables across the ballroom had an impressive variety. She recognized the Xianzhou decorations on the walls too. For the most part she and Dan Heng were left alone to enjoy themselves. His appearance garnered less attention than she anticipated. But inevitably, word got around about a Vidyadhara who walked the Path of the Trailblaze and they were approached.

The conversations were mild—boring, even—but Stelle noticed something about the Vidyadhara that sought them out. There was always a noticeable change in their expression when they learned she was Dan Heng’s romantic partner. At first, she brushed it aside that she was making assumptions based on social anxiety, but after the third time, it became a little difficult to believe it was all in her head. The problem was she had difficulty pinning down what the look meant. It was often accompanied by pinched eyebrows, a frown, sometimes a slow shake of the head and/or a quick eyeing her up and down. Even odder, the look wasn’t exclusive towards her. They gave him a similar look sometimes, usually with a deeper frown. The disapproval towards her she expected, but him? Why? Was it simply because of his past?

“A human mate?” one woman had inquired curiously, eyebrows arching in surprise. “Is she from the Xianzhou?”

“I’m not,” Stelle replied curtly.

The woman’s eyebrows somehow lifted further. “A short life human?” That look flickered across her face as she glanced at him. Dan Heng frowned at her and she quickly composed herself. “Oh. Forgive me. We don’t mingle among the other races of this planet because they’re all short lived, you see, so I was… surprised. Are you…?” She paused and then blushed. “Sorry, that’s none of my business, either. Can I ask you something about the Vidyadhara of the Luofu?”

“All right,” Dan Heng replied politely.

Stelle quickly tuned out the rest of the conversation after that.

It began to fray at her nerves which was unusual for her. It also began to annoy her, which was more normal for her. But for his sake, she swallowed her pride and simply pretended not to notice it. No matter how obvious it was.

When they eventually escaped the crowd, Stelle let out a long sigh.

“Your documenting better be worth all these awkward social interactions,” Stelle complained as they lingered near the back wall of the main room.

“I’m not so sure that it is anymore,” he admitted grumpily. There was fatigue in his voice and Stelle began to feel a little bad for dragging him into this. His social battery was a lot weaker than hers, and he’d quickly become the center of attention.

“I feel like a zoo animal with how they’re gawking at us,” she grumbled. “They’re way too fascinated about our relationship. Is it really that uncommon?”

“A little,” he said, “but only because the Vidyadhara mainly live on the Xianzhou ships where the majority of the population aren’t short-life species.”

“Well, they should mind their own business and leave us alone.”

“I agree. I haven’t even gotten a chance to speak to their leader again because they keep interrupting,” he sighed.

Stelle hesitated before she said quietly, “You should go see her without me. I can just wait around until you’re done.”

Dan Heng looked at her with a frown. “Are you bothered by what they’re saying?”

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t, but that’s not why. You’ll probably get better answers without me there. They won’t keep asking about our relationship. Also…” She scrunched up her face. “The talk is very boring.”

Stelle was relieved when he smiled at her comment. “To be honest, I’m surprised you’ve stuck by my side to listen to it as long as you have.”

“Harsh, but valid. I think I want to drink.”

He gave her a pointed look. “Don’t go overboard.”

“Not my style, remember?”

“Stelle…”

She waved her hand dismissively at him, snickering. “I’ll be careful. Go do your nerd stuff.”

He stepped close and kissed her cheek. She stuck her tongue out at him as he departed, but she was smiling. It was lonely without him, but Stelle was confident she wouldn’t get bothered by anyone now that she was alone. And in turn they’d stop giving him those looks. She tried to push the sinking feeling aside for now and distract herself with the refreshments. The food was good and the drinks strong. She’d never had saké before today. She quite liked it.

She wasn’t sure how much time passed but she did feel a little tipsy, so she stepped away from the table. Bored now that she couldn’t drink anymore, Stelle began to explore. From the main room there were many hallways. Wandering down one, she found numerous open doors leading to other rooms for smaller groups to mingle in. Most of them were full. Stelle also found several private rooms whose doors were all closed. Unlike the others, the glass on these doors was cloudy so she couldn’t peer into them. She thought about going into one out of curiosity, but since she couldn’t tell if they were occupied, she decided against it.

Then, she happened to come across one that had its door open. There was a pleasant smell wafting from the entrance accompanied by smoke trails. It piqued her curiosity. So, she approached it and stepped into the doorway.

The room was small so there were only a handful of guests within, and most were paired off. They sat very close to each other, whispering and laughing quietly. The hazy, dream-like atmosphere of the room instantly made her dizzy. The smoke smelled sickly sweet and caused her stomach to churn. She was beginning to regret drinking so much saké. Her curiosity drove her further forward and as she shuffled into the secluded room, she felt like she was being watched. She blinked slowly and searched until her eyes met the faces of two Vidyadhara women who were sitting on a red velvet couch in the corner. They were so remarkably beautiful that Stelle’s brain stalled, and she found herself staring a few seconds too long at them. She looked away quickly, face burning, and she heard the two of them laugh.

“Don’t be shy,” one of them said. “Are you looking for something specific?”

Her pleasant, melodic voice caused Stelle to glance back up. The one with long, straight hair the color of ink was smiling right at her. She wore dark blue eyeshadow and bright red lipstick. Many earrings adorned her long ears. The other woman beside her had short, chestnut colored hair and wore a golden hair pin tucked against the side of her head. Her striking blue eyes stood out against her sunset orange eyeshadow. They both wore very expensive looking clothes.

The one that had spoken previously, the Vidyadhara with the long hair, widened her smile. “Well?”

“I’m… not sure,” Stelle replied awkwardly. Curiosity may have driven her initially, but suddenly she was much more uncertain about her choice now that she had drawn attention. She had noted that all of the occupants in this room were Vidyadhara which explained why she had immediately caught their eye.

The long-haired woman beckoned her. “Come here. Tell us what you need.”

Stelle obeyed and approached them. The short-haired woman looked less interested in her than her friend, and her bored stare was somehow more intimidating.

“My name is Caiji,” introduced the long-haired woman. She gestured to the cushion next to her and Stelle took the offer. There was a pause in which Caiji simply stared at her and Stelle shifted a little under her scrutinizing gaze. She wondered what these beautiful women thought of someone as plain and human as her.

“Hmm… Are you here with someone?” Caiji asked after what seemed like an eternity of staring.

“Oh, um… Yes, I did come here with someone. Romantically.” She hesitated awkwardly and then hastily added, “His mate.” It was still awkward to say that out loud to others.

Caiji clapped her hands together in delight. “Ah, so they are a Vidyadhara! I suppose you wouldn’t be here if they weren’t. I understand why you’re here.”

What does that mean? Stelle pondered.

Her friend beside her looked less enthused. Instead, she frowned and there was a glimmer of resentment in her eyes. “To be tied by fate to a short life species,” she muttered.

“Hush, Ningli,” Caiji chastised.

Stelle frowned. It didn’t surprise her to face more of the same judgement, but it was admittedly getting on her last nerve. Do the Vidyadhara really disapprove that much of cross species relationships?

Caiji interrupted her thoughts. “Surely we have just the right blend for you to make it a night to remember.”

The way she said it made heat rise quickly in Stelle’s cheeks. “Huh?”

“Your nose for finding the right victim is truly impressive,” Ningli sighed. “Should we even give this to her kind?”

Embarrassment suddenly gave way to annoyance. All night she had been facing this kind of passive aggressive attitude. Dan Heng was hers and she was perfectly good enough for him. What did someone like Ningli know?

The alcohol, having weakened her inhibitions, also dangerously emboldened her. “I can handle it,” Stelle boasted. She didn’t know what it was they were offering, but she could absolutely take it. She would prove to them she was plenty worthy to be a Vidyadhara’s mate.

Ningli gave her a peculiar look, but Stelle spitefully ignored her. Caiji waved a hand at her friend and drew her attention. “Well, you heard her. Can you fetch the usual?”

Ningli looked like she wanted to say something else but remained silent. She nodded and stood, leaving the two alone.

“Your scent is more unique than usual,” Caiji said abruptly. “Are you Bonded?”

“Bonded?”

She hummed thoughtfully. “You mated with him when he was… particularly eager to do so.”

Her face quickly grew warm. The mortifying implications of how she had accurately guessed that aside, Stelle couldn’t help but have her curiosity roused again. “O-Oh, um…”

“The affliction of being obligated to form a bondmate is very rare,” Caiji continued nonchalantly, oblivious to her embarrassment. “I’ve happened across only one couple in all my time that was in the same situation, but I never forgot that peculiar scent. Vidyadhara who suffer from it typically become hermits to avoid their fate. Yet instead, he was lucky enough to find you, hm?”

She scratched the back of her head a little awkwardly. To discuss something like this so casually with a stranger was certainly a little weird. She was very blasé about it. She also didn’t sound particularly put off about their relationship, which just further confused Stelle about why she’d been suffering judgmental words and stares this whole time.

“R-Right. We, um… are like that, yeah,” she replied clumsily. “It was a strange coincidence that we were already living in the same space together, but, uh… you know about it? And it has a name?”

“Well, of course,” Caiji laughed. “It’s a very strange phenomenon among our kind. Hatching rebirth defects are already rare, but this one is so rare it is almost non-existent. Because of this it’s been thoroughly studied as a way to understand our dragon ancestors, but also as a possible solution to our inability to reproduce.”

Stelle nodded slowly, processing this new information. She recalled that Dan Heng had implied it wasn’t something unique to him, but that it wasn’t common. Beyond knowing what it was, he had never really explained much beyond that, including having a real name for it. Perhaps he simply didn’t know.

“Are Vidyadhara who have to form a bondmate viewed negatively?” Stelle asked. She recalled Ningli’s muttering. If the concept of a bondmate was known and could be detected through a scent (very embarrassing to consider) then that might explain this disapproval.

Caiji’s brows furrowed as she frowned, and she hesitated. She looked troubled which didn’t inspire confidence. Before she could answer, Ningli returned with a tray of food. There was a tiny cup of what looked like pink tea and a small bao that was still steaming. Setting it on the table in front of her, Ningli returned to her seat.

Is this all? she wondered as she stared at the completely normal looking food. Maybe she had misunderstood, or maybe this was an offering before they gave her the real thing. She was happy to have more of the food here, however, so she didn’t mind. Stelle wasn’t sure what kind of tea it was, but it was pleasantly sweet. It relaxed her in a strange way. The bao was also abnormally sweet, but she liked the flavor.

The two women watched her with a curiosity that recalled her earlier zoo animal analogy. She stared back at then nonplused. “Um… thank you?”

“You’ll start to feel good very quickly,” Caiji told her cheerfully. “So, make sure you’re ready.”

Stelle had no idea what that meant, but it sounded ominous enough to make her worried. Her determination to prove to them she could handle it wouldn’t let her show it, however. “I’m plenty ready,” she boasted.

“Then I would leave now if I were you,” Ningli said. “I don’t know how you’ll… ugh. I don’t think this was a good idea, Caiji. She’s not—"

“I’m fine,” Stelle snapped. She suddenly felt strangely hot. And… strangely attracted to these two women she’d just met. Alarmed, but mostly annoyed, Stelle stood up. “I told you, I can handle it. Just because I’m not a Vidyadhara doesn’t mean I can’t.”

Caiji smiled with amusement. “Of course. Good luck.”

“Caiji…”

“It won’t kill her, Ningli. Perhaps she’s just curious what it’s like.”

For some reason, Stelle was distracted by the soft curves of their hips and chest. The folded silks they wore accented their figure so nicely. She flushed the moment the thought entered her head. What am I even thinking? Her mind was weirdly sluggish. There was a familiar ache between her legs.

“Unless you’d like us to help you,” Caiji cooed in an unbearably attractive voice, “I suggest you leave now and go find your mate.”

Stelle blushed and quickly fled the room. She was dizzy. She walked down the hallway on unstable feet to return to the main room. When she entered the ballroom, she was hit by a wave of panic. It was like there were suddenly a lot of unwanted eyes on her. As nonchalantly as she could, Stelle crossed the room and went around the corner instead. This hallway was empty with every door closed. It wasn’t that secluded but compared to the main room it was. That was enough for her. Stelle leaned back against the wall. Her heart was racing. She was mortified at how intense this arousal was and how sudden it had hit her. What in the world did they give me?

Someone touched her arm and made her jump. She almost bolted but when her eyes focused on Dan Heng, she froze. She was flooded with relief and an even higher level of arousal all at once.

“Oh,” she breathed. “You’re back.”

He was staring at her a little more intensely than normal. It wasn’t a mystery why. She blinked blearily back at him, suddenly lightheaded. “Did it go okay?” she asked casually. She wasn’t sure why she was trying to act so normal when all she wanted was to desperately drag him back to their room.

“Yes, it went fine,” he said, still staring hard at her. He could clearly read her intentions. She squeezed her thighs together subconsciously. His gaze flickered not so subtly downward.

Her whole body flushed pleasantly at the attention, which increased her embarrassment. She looked down at her feet in shame. There was something about being this outrageously turned on that was humiliating.

Dan Heng moved closer and Stelle lifted her head to look at him but suddenly his whole body was pressing her up against the wall. His arms caged her in and she went still. He pressed his knee right between her thighs to force them apart, and she gasped. She wished he’d move it slightly higher so she could grind herself on him. The intrusive thought made her lightheadedness worse. What was happening to her? She had never been this horny in her life.

She squeaked in surprise as Dan Heng’s face suddenly pressed against the crook of her neck. Her back stiffened, hands pressed back onto the wall to brace herself, and heat boiled low in her belly with painful yearning. He inhaled deeply. She recalled the memory of the first time this had happened all that time ago in the Archives.

But that had been in a private space. Currently she was just around the corner from a room full of people who only had to glance up to catch sight of this very compromising position.

“D-Dan Heng, what are you—”

“What is this scent?” he murmured. “It’s… driving me crazy.”

Stelle swallowed hard. “Scent?” she echoed. Her head was so foggy. It was impossible to get her mind to focus on any other thought beyond how badly she wanted him.

“What did you do?” His breath was hot against her ear. His fingers brushed boldly against her thigh, teasing up just slightly under the hem of her dress, and Stelle bit back a moan.

Frantically she lifted her hands to press her palms against his chest to stop him. The tiny bit of rational thought she had left made her very aware they were in public. “I don’t know,” she whispered. She was strangely breathless. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He planted a deep kiss against her neck and sucked a bruise into her skin. Electricity skittered up her spine and made her tremble. This time she couldn’t stop the moan that made it past her lips. It was quiet, strangled quickly by the realization it had escaped at all, and Stelle was mortified.

“Wait,” she hissed sharply. She turned her head away even as everything in her screamed against it. “Don’t do that here.”

His lips found her ear. “I don’t think I can resist you.”

She shivered. She sincerely doubted that, but she wasn’t exactly willing to make him stop. That worried her a little. It was like something had unwittingly torn out all inhibitions. She wanted to pin him down and have her way with him right here on the floor. Stelle lifted her hands to brush her fingers against his face and knew instantly his skin was much too warm. She knew why, but there was something about it this time that was irresistible in a way she’d never felt before. She pressed her palm against his cheek to feel it further. She wanted to wrap herself up in that warmth. She wanted him to smother her with it.

“You’re burning,” she whispered.

Dan Heng leaned back so his body was no longer pinning her and removed his knee, but his arms still trapped her against the wall. He met her gaze. His look was unmistakable, and it worsened her own lust. As an excited knot twisted in her abdomen so too did one of anxiety. After all this time, why was this happening now?

“It’s because of this scent,” he said.

She stared at him, bewildered. She knew his sharp senses could pick up things about her she wished he couldn’t, and she knew this level of arousal in her was very strange, but it was a little extreme that it would trigger a rut. Or maybe it makes perfect sense that it would, she realized. For them to happen randomly was much odder. Still, that’s how it had always been. Hadn’t it?

Her confusion seemed to concern him. He frowned and reached for her hand, gently removing it from his face. “Hold on. Were you… not joking when you said you didn’t know?”

She gave him an exasperated look. “I’m not joking about anything. I really don’t know what scent you’re talking about or why I’m feeling so…” She grew uncharacteristically flustered. This wasn’t typically a hard topic for her, but the intensity had her rattled. His proximity and knowing he was more than eager to fuck her in his current state wasn’t helping.

Stelle glanced away, suddenly bashful. She withdrew from him reluctantly, and he let her hand slip away. “I ate something offered to me by these two Vidyadhara women and then I started to feel like this. It must’ve been that, but I don’t know what they gave me.”

“You ate it without knowing?” he asked sharply.

The alarm in his voice made Stelle’s gaze snap back to him. “Ate what? Do you know what’s happening to me?”

Dan Heng took a deep breath. He had a strange expression on his face—like he didn’t know whether to be amused or worried. It made her feel a little less panicked about it. His silence stretched on for a little while.

“Dan Heng?” she demanded. “If you know, tell me.”

The tips of his ears were noticeably red. “I don’t know for certain, but… you smell so enticing and it triggered… this. So, I…” He cleared his throat. “I think they must’ve given you an aphrodisiac.”

Stelle’s jaw almost dropped open. Her eyes widened and something clicked into place. A lot of their words that had sounded strange before suddenly made a lot more sense. It also explained why she was feeling like this. Her face grew hot. “Oh,” was all she managed to squeak out. She felt unbelievable stupid.

“But this severity means it must be…” He began but trailed off. He glanced away, gaze sharpening and shoulders tense. It wasn’t unlike the way he behaved when he sensed danger while on a mission, although Stelle thought this was an odd time for such a reaction.

It overwhelmed her how displeased she was to not have his full attention. She squeezed her thighs together again, aching. She decided that the problem of how she was essentially drugged without her knowledge could wait. All of it could wait. She might go crazy if she didn’t get relief. Stelle leaned forward and drew her arms around his neck to pull him close. She pulled him against her once more to allow his slightly taller frame to pin her to the wall again. Dan Heng was startled, but she pressed her lips over his before he could say anything further. She knew he would not be able to refuse.

He didn’t and the intensity of his return kiss made her moan. She was beginning to feel lightheaded again. Her mind flittered between trying to stay lucid and wanting to fall completely under the aphrodisiac’s spell. It should matter there were eyes on them, but it didn’t. The only thing that mattered to her was dragging him to bed. He broke the kiss much too quickly.

“Stelle,” he breathed a warning. If she kept pushing, she’d be at his mercy. That’s exactly what she wanted, but his hesitancy prompted her to reassure him.

“It’s okay,” she told him. “Please, I really need your help.” Her arousal grew more intense by the minute. It was honestly a little ridiculous. “You need help too, right?”

“Yes,” he admitted quietly, “but I’m worried that you didn’t take an aphrodisiac on purpose.”

She smiled gently. “It’s okay,” she repeated. “I trust you.” She rested her forehead against his own and the uncomfortable hardness of his horns protruding from it dug into her skin. The heat from his skin made her shiver pleasantly. She saw he had her lipstick smeared on his lips and a touch of amusement broke through the overwhelming desire, if only for a moment.

He still looked hesitant. “But…”

She tilted her head and kissed him deeply. He tore himself away from her after only a few short seconds. He took her hand and pulled her away from the wall to lead her a few more steps down the hallway. She expected him to take them back to their hotel room but instead he opened a door to one of the private rooms she had scoped out earlier. Surely this wasn’t the proper use for them.

He pushed her up against the wall beside the door the moment they entered. The door automatically closed behind them. He kissed her so hard she grew woozy. He wasted no time tucking his hands under her thighs and lifting her up. He pushed her dress up around her hips. Wrapping her legs around his hips she could feel the hard length of him even through the layers of fabric. Pleasure pulsated between her legs with a near painful throbbing and Stelle moaned against his mouth. Her underwear was already soaked through, arousal dripping down her thighs, and she bucked her hips to grind against him. It was like she was possessed. Nothing else mattered. She’d do anything to have him. Her hands slipped between them since his were occupied. She worked hastily to remove the annoying fabric of his pants. She freed his aching girth after only a few seconds. Pulling her panties aside and guiding him to her entrance, he wasted no time burying himself inside her to the hilt before she could even move her hands away.

She cried out at that wonderful sensation of being filled, back arching. So familiar now, this feeling, but always heavenly. She had never wanted it more in her life. He kissed her again to silence more cries that spilled from her lips as he began to move. His tongue slipped between her lips to claim her taste, and she practically melted. Her hands clawed at his back, nails gliding over the smooth fabric of his robes. She wished it were his skin. She wanted to feel more of the burning hot skin of his rut. Everything in her was becoming wound up—a string being tightened beyond its limit but refusing to snap. It was almost painful, this intense arousal.

The waves of pleasure rolled through her as he set a rough and desperate pace. Raw need and quick efficiency spurred by the mutual insatiability of their respective conditions. When Stelle had to part from his lips to breathe, she couldn’t quite silence all her panting and whimpering. Each thrust drew out a louder sound.

His lips pressed against her ear. “They’ll hear you, Stelle,” he whispered roughly.

Stelle buried her face against his shoulder and shuddered. “I’m trying,” she groaned. They should have gone back to their room, but there wasn’t a single intelligent thought between them right now.

Dan Heng chuckled and kissed below her ear. A tender gesture that accompanied the rough way he was fucking her. That was just like him.

Surely people already had heard them. And if they hadn’t, then they had definitely noticed their inappropriate behavior before they had slipped in here. Stelle decided somewhere in the back of her mind that she could never show her face on this planet ever again. He suddenly pressed her more forcefully against the wall and slammed into her so hard it made a frightfully loud thud as her body hit the solid surface. With it he found the perfect angle inside her that caused her to see stars. She arched against him roughly, crying out before she could stop herself. She clenched hard around his length and her legs tightened with equal intensity on his hips.

It was so much better than usual. The intensity of this pleasure was unlike anything she’d ever experienced before. It wasn’t normal, she knew that somewhere in the back of her mind that still had conscious thought, but it was hard to care when he felt this good. If this was the result of aphrodisiac, she wondered how someone didn’t get hopelessly addicted to it.

Dan Heng shuddered. “Aeons, Stelle, that feels good,” he groaned hoarsely against her throat. “Come for me, Stelle. Right now.”

His command was more than enough to push her over that edge. She trembled hard as her orgasm rippled through her in an instant on his words. He yanked her hips roughly to his, slamming them together and ground deep into her. He buried his face into her shoulder and muffled a deep moan. Heat filled her suddenly as she felt her inner walls get impossibly tight around his cock. She gasped, felt the overwhelming heat from their combined orgasms, and had to bite down on a mouthful of fabric from his robes to keep back an even louder satisfied moan. Her body shook with the force it took to just be silent and keep still. It was probably the hardest thing she had ever done.

She was thoroughly ravished as she panted heavily for breath, fingers gripping weakly at his back. Yet she was still trembling. Still yearning. Somehow, it wasn’t quite enough. The release only brought a rush of renewed heat and desire. The dizziness returned and she was confused. To feel both satisfied and unsatisfied at the same time was an unpleasant sensation.

“Dan Heng,” she murmured into his ear, “w-we should go back to our room. I-I still…”

There was a soft bump against the door. Her back stiffened immediately with alarm. She caught a shadow behind the frosted glass that lingered.

Oh no.

Subconsciously she sucked in a sharp breath and held it as if somehow not breathing would make her invisible.

“Is… everything all right?” A man’s voice. Polite, but strangely inquisitive. There was an excited, hungry curiosity in the low timbre of his voice. Something about it sounded so pleasant. It made a heat tingle low in her belly and drew her attention towards the door.

“Yes,” Dan Heng replied smoothly. His voice was so jarringly calm and barely even breathless like he hadn’t just fucked her senseless against the wall.

He carefully lowered her back to her feet, letting her dress fall back into place, and hastily fixed his own clothing. He kept close to her, but Stelle was barely paying attention. She was strangely transfixed by the stranger. She was shaky on feet, even worse with these heels, so she leaned against the wall for support.

The man shifted strangely outside the door. The hinges rattled a bit as if he had grabbed the handle, but there was hesitation. It wasn’t locked, so he could have. Stelle stared intensely at the door. She wondered if he would. She was compelled to beg him to. The way this arousal gnawed at her was unbearable. Maybe this man could scratch the itch.

“Are you…” he began.

“Leave.” Dan Heng’s voice growled low and angry. She felt the deep rumble of it in his chest still pressed against her own. A strange shiver ran up her back and liquid fire surged through veins. The aggressiveness in his voice turned her on so badly she had to bite her lip to smother a needy whine. She did not know it was possible to feel hornier than she already was.

The man hastily retreated without another word, and she flushed with shame. She had wanted that man to fuck her. A complete stranger. What on earth is happening to me? she thought anxiously. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t normal even by aphrodisiac standards. Was it?

The sting of what it meant for him that she had thought for even a second to jump some other guy hit deep. Not just the guilt of it, but the deeper meaning that she freely had that choice with no consequences compared to him, bound by her forever. For a brief instant, the guilt choked out the lust that was clouding her mind. He had trapped her against the wall with his arms like he was trying to protect her from the intruder at the door.

“Dan Heng, I…”

“We need to leave. You can’t be here like this,” he interrupted. She couldn’t tell from his tone alone whether he was upset at her or not. It made her more anxious.

“Dan Heng, I-I didn’t mean… I’m sorry. I’m not thinking straight. Something must be wrong, I…” She was a blubbering mess as she prattled on in a rush. Tears stung the corner of her eyes. The mere thought of betraying him tore her heart to pieces. She’d never do that to him, but she had entertained the thought. He hadn’t satisfied her, so maybe someone else could. What an awful thing to consider.

She thought back to the purpose of the ruts he experienced. She thought back to the confession that he was hers no matter how she treated him in return.

“I’d never…” she stammered.

Dan Heng’s brows furrowed in confusion. His fingers pressed against her lips to silence her, gaze softening in concern. “Don’t worry,” he said gently as it slowly dawned on him. “The drug’s scent is noticeable to the other Vidyadhara, and you… aren’t in your right mind. That’s why we need to leave.”

She got the impression he knew something about the nature of this aphrodisiac that she didn’t. Heat rushed up the back of her neck when Stelle thought of the state she was in. Her clothing was in complete disarray. The fabric of her dress had miraculously escaped any damage, but it was now very wrinkled. There were hickeys on her neck. Her panties were so soaked they were useless. The mess of their combined orgasm had run down her thighs and made a noticeable mess on the floor. The room’s air was thick with the tangy odor of sweat and sex, which now undoubtably clung to them too.

“I can’t go back out like this,” Stelle muttered, horrified at the very thought.

He suddenly pressed her against the wall with renewed force and Stelle whimpered loudly. The heat that radiated from him stoked the fires of her own arousal too forcefully. The lust rose with renewed vigor and she squeezed her thighs together tightly at the throbbing ache between them that had returned. She could feel the faint outline of his body through his clothing, including his cock that he had tucked back into his pants. He was hard again.

“You can,” he whispered lowly into her ear. His breath tickled and made her shiver.

“N-No, I’m a mess,” she stuttered. “It’ll be too obvious that we…”

“That’s good,” he purred. “I want them to know that I fucked you.”

Her lips parted first from shock to hear such a thing come out of Dan Heng’s mouth, and then again when an eager whimper escaped her. Stelle lifted her chin to kiss the corner of his mouth, trembling. “And I really need you to fuck me again,” she panted softly. “Right now.”

“I can tell.” He sounded so smug about it. As if he wasn’t also afflicted by the insatiable need of his rut.

Yet he was more in control of it for a change. Dan Heng pulled away and scooped her up in his arms without warning. She yelped in surprise. In this bridal style carry, his body could mostly shield her from prying eyes. She sunk into the comfort of his broad chest. She was still wound up so tightly, yearning for him so fiercely, that it was beginning to grow frustrating. In this moment of respite as he carried her out of the room, Stelle tried to calm down. She closed her eyes and attempted to shut out the world around her.

“But why is it so intense?” she mumbled into his chest. “Is this really what an aphrodisiac is like?”

“I’ll explain it to you later,” he informed her quietly. “Let’s just go back to our room.”

Stelle nodded. She could hear the soft murmurs of conversation as they walked. The noise of the banquet made her feel self-conscious. There was no way their rumpled clothing and ruffled hair wasn’t a giveaway what they had been up to. Although she could remain mostly hidden by how he carried her, there was little hiding his own arousal. Knowing that apparently the aphrodisiac was strong enough to be scented by the sharp senses of the Vidyadhara added an additional layer of embarrassment. The Vidyadhara man who had come to the door clearly had. The other guests were probably staring at them—at her. But the thought excited her unexpectedly and she shuddered unpleasantly. The drug’s influence was poison to her heart. She didn’t want to attract anyone else. She just wanted to be with Dan Heng.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Stelle willed herself to stop worrying. She would probably feel better once they had returned to the sanctuary of their hotel room. Eventually the sounds faded and the noise of a heavy door shutting behind them caused her to open one eye. The hallway they were in looked like the hotel, but she didn’t recognize this wing of it. She lifted her head and cautiously looked around.

“It’s okay. No one saw us,” he reassured her. “I left through a back entrance.”

“Really?” she replied skeptically. “With the way you were talking I expected you to walk right through the main ballroom.”

“It was tempting, but you sounded against it earlier,” he joked.

Stelle smiled and settled her head against his chest again.

Dan Heng opened another door at the end of the hall and began up several flights of stairs. Their room was on the fifth floor, and they were currently at the ground level. He had a long climb ahead and all while carrying her. She felt a little bad about it, but she didn’t think she could walk right now if she tried. Her body was too limp. Her libido unfortunately hadn’t cooled off at all, and the constant thrumming of arousal had quickly become more uncomfortable than enjoyable. She squirmed slightly in his arms.

“We’re almost there,” he told her. “I know it feels unpleasant.”

“Is this what it’s always like for you? What it’s like right now?” she asked.

“Most likely,” he said, “but I’ve never taken an aphrodisiac before, so I can’t know if the feeling is the exact same.”

She pressed her hand lightly against his chest and quickly grew distracted by how firm it was. She blushed. “I think I have renewed sympathy for you either way.”

The pleasant rumble in his chest when he laughed made her blush deepen. Her respect for how he handled it had risen too. He could clearly endure it a lot better than she could. He was proving it right now.

After what seemed like an endless climb, they finally exited the stairwell and entered another long hallway. It was much quieter here. A few more steps and they made it to their room door. He shifted her slightly in his arms so he could open it and stepped inside. It clicked shut and locked automatically behind them as he carried her toward the bed. Stelle playfully swung her legs to send her heels flying across the room. She was grateful to not walk on those anymore. Gently he sat her down on the edge of the bed. She swayed uneasily when he let her go. His hand lingered on her shoulder and the hot touch of his palm had her longing for a firmer touch.

Stelle gripped the front of his robes when he tried to pull away. “Dan Heng,” she begged.

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you,” he promised softly.

Her pulse quickened as she imagined all the wonderful ways he planned to do that. She squeezed her thighs together. “Then what are you waiting for?” she complained.

She pulled him close to kiss him, but he denied her. He reached behind her to tug the pins out of her hair. The loose bun fell apart and the tresses cascaded down around her face. The ends tickled her skin. They retained a loosely curled shape. He brushed the strands gently over her shoulders.

Dan Heng smiled fondly at her. “To undress you. I don’t want to risk tearing your dress this time.”

When she considered how many of her clothes he’d torn off her in the past, Stelle found that funny. She also found it annoying that this was the moment he chose to start caring about it. She pouted. “Now you worry about that?”

His fingers touching the exposed skin of her back felt like being touched by a livewire. Every nerve ending shuddered in a pleasant vibration, like electricity dancing across her skin and up her spine. She almost moaned from it alone. Instead, she bit her lip. With careful precision he undid the lace of her dress, leaning close to her as he did. The enticing heat from his body and the way his breath blew faintly across her skin was intoxicating. He must be toying with her.

“I like the way you look in it, so I don’t want to ruin it,” he insisted.

“You just fucked me in it against the wall,” she deadpanned. “Seems a little late to start caring about that.”

“I’m thinking more clearly right now than I was then.”

“Well stop doing that. It’s getting in the way of me getting off.”

He bit back a laugh. “Just a little more.”

Stelle’s grip on his robes tightened. Since he was closer, she pressed herself against him and undid his collar. This allowed her to tug the front of his clothes open. He had a loose layer underneath that hung lower to expose his neck and collarbone. She tilted her head to press eager kisses against the base of his throat. Dan Heng maintained his careful control despite her actions and slipped the dress off her top half. He raked his fingers down her front and his fingertips brushed feather light over her nipples. She groaned, back arching into his touch. Her lips brushed over the nice little bruise she’d left on his neck the night before.

“Dan Heeeeeng,” she whined. He was definitely toying with her.

His arm wrapped around the small of her back to lift her so he could pull the rest of her dress off. She was left only in her underwear, but it was so drenched it might as well not have been there. When he placed her back on the bed, Stelle was quick to shuck it off before he could move his hands. Dan Heng cupped her cheek and lifted her head to kiss her. Her lips parted eagerly, inviting, and his tongue swept into her mouth without hesitation. Stelle squeezed her thighs together. She squeezed tighter the longer he kissed her until she suddenly shuddered hard and had to pull away, gasping.

Dan Heng was half leaning over her, using his arms to brace himself against the bed. He blinked hazy eyes at her. “Did you just…?”

Stelle flushed bright red. “S-Stop teasing me already. This is going to kill me. I’m going to die.”

He leaned back to stand upright and began to remove his clothes. “You’re not going to die,” he chuckled.

Stelle crept away from him, crawling further up the bed and muttering annoyances under her breath she knew he could hear. She pulled down the covers of the bed for no real reason other than she wanted to make it messy. Her senses were a little clearer being away from him. She could hear rain against the window. With the covers in perfect disarray, she sat down and looked at Dan Heng impatiently. He had finished undressing and her eyes roamed over him shamelessly. He was still in frustratingly perfect control of his own urges right now. It wasn’t fair, but it was unusual.

Once he had removed his earrings, he approached the bed. She reached for him. “No more delaying,” she demanded. “You don’t have to be careful, either.”

He smiled and crawled onto the bed with her. He drew her to him without hesitation, wrapping his arms possessively around her, and Stelle began to shiver. It took a lot of effort to not just scramble into his lap and grind herself on his cock. “I’m just a little worried about your endurance,” he conveyed.

“I’ll be okay,” she assured him a little too forcefully. “I just need you.”

Dan Heng’s fingers curled into her loose hair to force her head back. He planted deep kisses against her neck. She moaned excitedly. “I need you too,” he murmured lowly. His voice was a deep rumble like a pleasant growl.

He finally laid her back against the mattress and began to kiss down the front of her body. She shivered as he lingered on breasts and pulled her legs apart. Settling in between them, he continued to trail his lips downward.

“Dan Heng,” she groaned in protest. “I said no more delaying. Don’t keep teasing me. I just need you to… ah… y-you should… mmmm…”

He had reached the heat between her legs during her complaining and his tongue gliding through her folds pulled all her thoughts apart. She let out a low whine and arched her hips into his touch. She was embarrassingly aware of how wet she was after several orgasms and this constant torturous arousal. She suspected that’s why he had chosen to bury his face between her thighs. She also suspected it wouldn’t be enough for her. All she wanted was to be pounded into the mattress until the bed broke.

Dan Heng moved her legs to drape them over his shoulders. Stelle writhed, helpless at the relentless strokes of his tongue, and her toes curled against his back. He pleasured her with a practiced efficiency that came from all their many nights together. It was heavenly. It was hell. She reached down to grab fistfuls of his long hair and pulled.

“Dan Heng, I-I need… more. Please, you—” Her body shuddered and she came again with a loud moan. Her whole body arched off the bed. He let out a muffled groan of approval. She rubbed herself desperately against his mouth as the ecstasy surged throughout her whole body. When she fell back against the blankets, Dan Heng pulled away.

“Th-That wasn’t even necessary,” she moaned between pants. “I’m so wet it’s… ridiculous.”

He had returned to kissing her neck with heated fervor. His body pressed her down against the bed. “I know,” he rasped. “I wanted to taste you as you came.”

He rubbed his cock against her slick folds with some force, grinding against her incessantly. Teasing. Stelle’s body lurched at the contact.

“More,” she gasped. “Please more. Please.”

He kissed her deeply as he slowly pushed inside her. He swallowed her delighted moan and when their hips pressed flushed together, he dragged his hands down her body to grip her hips. When he graciously began to move Stelle saw a thousand little stars blooming behind her eyes. Her hips lifted as needy cries spilled from her lips. Everything within her begged for him to bring her that much needed release. She needed it more than the air she breathed. Her eyes fluttered open to watch him. Her hands traveled across his chest and shoulders to feel the heat on his skin. That intoxicating, attractive heat. When her fingers brushed over the bruise on his neck, satisfaction blossomed in her chest. He met her gaze for a moment, his face nicely flushed and gaze wanton, and Stelle was overcome with how much she loved him. He leaned down to kiss her hard, his long hair brushing over her, and he stole all the breath from her lungs.

She lost count of the time that passed. Amazing, passion filled minutes blended. Not a single one was wasted. The way he moved, touched her, kissed her and loved her was something she would never take for granted for as long as she lived. It was like nothing else, yet somehow not nearly enough. Alongside the minutes, she had also lost count of how many times she orgasmed. It was somehow bliss and agony at the same time. Each time she didn’t feel any closer to relief than she had before. After a while, Stelle began to wonder if relief was even possible.

“More,” she pleaded. Her nails raked down his back and left vicious red marks across his sweat soaked skin.

Dan Heng laughed breathlessly against her ear. “I’m giving you everything.”

He hooked one arm underneath her knee to spread her thighs further apart. He stroked deeper inside her and every nerve ending sung his praises. Stelle fell back against the mattress with a loud moan. Her hands rested above her head, fingers curling into the sheets. Pleasure pulsed through her as she came again. She felt him shudder and tighten his already vice like grip on her thighs.

“Aeons, Stelle,” he hissed.

She didn’t know it was possible to orgasm this much and for each one to still feel as good as the last. But there was still an itch none of them were scratching. Each moment of release wasn’t relief, but another button pressed that made her crave more. It was maddening.

“Don’t stop,” she begged.

Dan Heng pulled her upright and sat back on his knees. He lifted her hips so that his cock slipped out of her and she groaned in frustration at the loss. He settled her onto her lap again and kissed gently near her ear.

“Stelle,” he murmured, “you need to rest.” His fingers traced gentle patterns along her thighs to calm her down.

Only now did she realize how hard she was gasping for breath. Her body was trembling and her muscles aching in pain. He was probably right. They’d been going for a while now. Yet all she could focus on was that she was still wound up so tightly. She had underestimated just how uncomfortable being this insatiably horny could be. She silently reiterated her new appreciation for how he dealt with his ruts. She had underestimated how exhausting this was.

But despite it, she needed more. She really felt like she might die if this ache in her wasn’t soothed. Stelle dug her nails into his shoulder. “It’s fun to be able to keep up with your stamina for a change,” she panted. Her voice was humorous, but she realized how tired she sounded.

“You can’t,” he warned. “The drug is making you think you can.”

She nuzzled his neck pleadingly. “Dan Heng, it’s… I’m really losing my mind. I can’t stand it. I really need you to keep going. I don’t want you to stop.”

The blazing heat of his skin told her he didn’t either, yet his concern for her kept overriding his instincts. It would be heartening if it wasn’t continuously getting in the way of what Stelle wanted. She pressed her hips down against the delicious hardness of his cock and grinded herself against him needily. She moaned loudly. Pleasure skittered up her spine so intense her vision blurred. She would do anything to have him inside her again although only rubbing herself on him like this would likely make her come again in no time. Dan Heng exhaled sharply through his nose at her motions. He grabbed her hips and forcibly pulled her back. He unfairly used his superior strength to lock her in place.

“I know,” he said softly, “but try to rest anyway. I told you before I’d help you, but you need to take a break.”

With the way he held her back she couldn’t do much. She drew her arms around him in an embrace. She buried her face into his shoulder with a frustrated groan.

“How is your control so strong?” she grumbled. Touching him like this but being unable to move her hips was torment. The abnormal heat of his skin alone was starting to become enough to get her off. It was completely outrageous.

“It’s not fair,” she whined.

“It’s not very easy for me either,” he admitted. He let one hand wander up and stroke her back soothingly, brushing his fingers into her tangled hair. He methodically combed out some of the snarls that had gathered from all their enthusiastic activity.

She sank further into his arms and tried to clear the fog from her mind. He said that but he was as calm and collective as always. Truthfully it just made her want to pull that control of his apart. She knew exactly what he could do for her if he didn’t hold back. She shivered happily at the thought.

Stelle wasn’t sure how long they simply sat there in silence after that. It felt like many long, tortuous hours to her lust-addled brain. He arranged her so that she was laying sideways in his lap instead of straddling him, cradling her in his arms and removing the temptation to sink down on his still hard cock. Her head rested comfortably on his shoulder. It was nice to lie like this, but the restlessness in her grew worse the longer they were inactive.

Try as she might, she couldn’t lower the fire burning in her. Nothing would except more sex.

“No more resting,” she finally said. She kissed near his ear pleadingly and squirmed in his arms. His hold had loosened during the silence, giving her more freedom to move, and when she playfully nibbled on the tip of his long ear, he shivered.

“More rest,” he replied flatly.

Dan Heng scooped her up and raised himself on his knees, startling her. He then laid her back against the pillows. “You need to rest for at least a few hours.”

“A few hours?!” Stelle cried, quickly trying to sit back up. She grabbed his horn roughly when he moved without thinking

He shuddered and yielded immediately to the pleasure of her touch. He leaned back over her and his bright, glowing eyes pierced right through her. She saw the telltale sign of his control slipping at her touch. If she could push just a little more...

“Stelle, you can wait this out for a little while,” he muttered. “I know it’s difficult, but I know you’re strong enough to withstand it if you have to.”

“But you’re here, so I don’t have to,” she said stubbornly.

She pulled him down to meet her lips and he did not resist. She expected at least a little hesitancy considering how much he was pushing her to rest, but there was none, and it betrayed just how wanton he was. Deep, yearning kisses, again and again, as she coaxed him to kiss her a little harder each time their lips met. His tongue tasted her, fangs grazed against her swollen lips, and a needy cry escaped her throat. Her hand fell away when she was sure he wouldn’t pull away and she arched her hips up to press against him.

He broke their kiss and panted. She whined softly at the loss.

“Dan Heng,” she begged. “Please…”

He groaned softly and suddenly pushed her onto her stomach. His weight pressed against her back. His heated skin was a satisfying burn. “You’re very difficult for me to resist,” he whispered into her ear. The way his hot breath tickled her skin made her shudder.

He lifted her hips up so he could thrust back inside her and she muffled her loud moan into the pillow. Her fingers dug tightly into the sheets beneath them. Dan Heng covered her hand with his and forced her to uncurl them when he slotted his fingers between the spaces of her own. The gesture was gentle but the strength in which he pinned her against the mattress was anything but.

She wanted to say something in retort about the tables being turned on him when it came to an insatiable libido, but her brain melted the moment he began to move his hips. The ecstasy surged and her mind was consumed once more. His fangs came down hard on the back of her neck and she moaned at the pain as they sank into her skin. That rough, primal instinct in him had finally come out. He’d been resisting it quite admirably this entire time, but she knew from experience he wouldn’t be able to keep it up. It felt good, how hard he pounded into her, how roughly he pinned her down.

She whimpered lowly. She was pleased he was fucking her again even if the exhaustion in her body was starting to cause a lot of pain. Yet the ravenousness lust only continued to tighten the taunt string inside her rather than finally allowing it to be severed. Her vision blurred with tears and her head was swimming. It was rabid, frantic desire. It was driving her insane.

Then suddenly, miraculous, the tiniest thread unraveled, and she shivered violently. She groaned his name loudly into the pillow her face was still smushed into and tried to move her hand pinned roughly under his. Just that small relief was like a light at the end of the tunnel. She wanted to reach the climax that she had been craving this whole time. He took the hint, or perhaps he could read the change in her body, because he flipped her onto her back again. He buried himself back inside her and continued his relentless pace.

His thrusts reached deep. He watched her with a half-lidded gaze laden with lust. His eyes traced every contour of her body beneath him. Stelle arched her back in ecstasy to reward him, offering herself to him in complete intoxicated surrender. He could do whatever he wanted to her. Anything and everything for this much-needed final release. She wanted nothing more than to be undone. She would do anything. She needed it so badly she might cry. Dan Heng suddenly leaned over her and bit down on her pulse—to leave another deep mark on her skin that would blossom into an obvious bruise later. Her head fell back, and her lips parted with a weak cry. Her voice had grown hoarse by now. His tongue soothed the hurt before he began to trail deep kisses up her neck.

“Stelle,” he growled huskily into her ear. “Be louder for me.”

Her soft cries escalated at his command, but mostly because he picked up the pace to fulfil his own request. The loud creaking of the bed beneath them was only drowned out by the louder, lewder sounds of wet skin slapping together. Harder. Faster.

“Mm, that’s good,” he purred. “You feel so good, Stelle. So tight and wet. Come for me again. One more time.”

The edges of her vision went white and for a moment she thought she might finally reach her physical breaking point. He’d been right about her stamina. Her body had begun to not just ache but cry out in protest with sharp pain at all this activity. Yet the burning in her muscles was nothing compared to what the aphrodisiac had done to her. It overrode everything else and drove her to do anything it would take to achieve this single-minded goal of an orgasm even if it hurt her. Even if it killed her.

She was so close. So, so close. Relief, just within her grasp. Stelle’s nails cut roughly down his back, and she muffled a needy sob into the crook of his neck. She could feel it building now, up and up, and then finally—finally!—she could succumb to the final throes of pleasure. It toppled, burst, that thread snapped sharply, and the strength of the ecstasy that tore through her made her scream. She saw stars explode behind her eyes. She had come so many times, but this was the one she had needed. This was the one she had wanted, and it was everything.

The intensity of her orgasm was more than enough for him to finally achieve his own. He buried his face against her shoulder and groaned louder than she had ever heard him before. It was accompanied by the flush of warmth as he released deep inside her. She felt the way his cock pulsed inside her and how his body shuddered violently. The amount caused it to quickly overflow, and it spilled out of her to coat her thighs and stain the sheets beneath her. She arched her hips into his and gasped. The combination of their orgasms was a pleasure that was indescribable. He felt so good, and as the waves of ecstasy finally began to fade, Stelle realized it was going to make her pass out.

And she did. Sort of.

Her vision had gone white shortly after and there was a strange jump forward in time where suddenly she wasn’t in bed but submerged in something warm. She was aware that her body still trembled in the wake of her release. It was a pleasure so intense that it was seared into her very bones. She remembered that he had gathered her into his arms and gently moved her out of bed. Then there was warm water all around her. After that, though, she had no recollection. The next memory was when she awoke tucked snugly into bed. The pain in her body upon regaining consciousness was quite severe. Her limbs hurt to move, the bruises along her neck and thighs throbbed and the soreness between her legs was extreme.

Stelle winced as she lifted her arm and laid it across her eyes. She groaned softly at the pain the movement caused. The water must’ve been a bath. Given that she was clean and wearing one of her oversized sleep shirts, Dan Heng likely helped her bathe and dress. She didn’t need the memory to know that’s exactly the type of thing he would’ve done. She had been so tired, so she must’ve fallen during the bath. Against her better judgement, Stelle slowly pushed herself upright. Her muscles screamed in protest with every motion. It hurt worse than the aftermath of her hardest battles. She glanced around the empty room. She was alone and couldn’t sense Dan Heng anywhere. Where did he go? she wondered sleepily.

Her hands ran absently against the blankets laid over her and she paused. She noticed how neatly they were tucked onto the bed and how clean they were. Did he wash these too? She smiled to herself. Of course he would’ve been concerned about that. But where is he?

Just as she was thinking of risking the pain and getting up to look for her phone, the door began to unlock. It alarmed her even if she knew there was only one other person besides herself that had the key. Dan Heng looked surprised to see her sitting up. He’d reverted to his human appearance once more and carried a plastic bag over his arm.

“You’re finally awake,” he said as he entered. He sounded relieved. The door clicked softly shut behind him. “Do you feel okay?”

“I feel like I haven’t decided yet if I regret it or not.”

“You should regret it,” he sighed. “You passed out.”

“Yeah, because you fucked me so good,” she sniggered.

“That’s not why,” he deadpanned, unfazed by her attempts to fluster him.

Stelle pouted at his deflection. He set the bag down on the small table in the center of the room and reached into it. He pulled out a bottled drink and a plastic wrapped bao bun. He brought them over to her.

“Here, you’ll feel better if you eat and drink something,” he told her.

She took them, reading their labels curiously. Dan Heng sat at the edge of the bed beside her. The sight of the bao bun caused her stomach to do a nervous flip. It must’ve been those buns that had the drug in them, she realized. Or maybe it was the tea. Maybe it had been both.

“Stelle,” Dan Heng called quietly, but sternly. She glanced up. “Don’t take something like that again, okay?”

“I told you it wasn’t on purpose,” she grumbled. She took a long drink from the bottle. It was just water, but it was somehow the best water she had ever tasted.

“I know,” he sighed, “I just… want to make sure you understand. You were given an aphrodisiac for Vidyadhara. It isn’t meant for other species to consume, especially not a short life species like you. Its potency is way too much for anyone else.”

Stelle paused mid bite of her bun. She lowered it slowly, contemplating. “Is that way it was so intense? And why it was so noticeable to you and the other Vidyadhara?”

“Yes.”

It certainly explained a lot of things about the experience. Like why the scent was so irresistible to him and had triggered his rut, and why she’d been so turned on by his rut in the first place. It was like I was a Vidyadhara myself and going through heat, she pondered with some amusement.

“The Xianzhou Alliance made it illegal because there were concerns about abusing it to force consent,” he continued. “There are no such laws on this planet so the Vidyadhara that settled here use it freely. I don’t know if the women who gave you the drug knew it was dangerous to other species or not, but… I made sure they would not do it again.”

“You found out who it was?” Stelle asked around a mouthful of food. It didn’t surprise her he was that quick to track them down, but it did make her feel sorry for them. He had threatened strangers that wronged the Express crew for less.

He crossed his arms, indignant. “Of course. I just asked their leader about the drug, and she pointed me in the right direction. Her attitude towards me changed quickly when I warned her that off-world Xianzhou citizens can still be held accountable for exporting illegal drugs.”

His face was composed but the way his shoulders tensed spoke of his agitation. Stelle smiled fondly at him. With her drink and meal finished, she was feeling a lot better. She set aside the empty packaging and reached for him. He turned to her, and she drew him into a hug. She only winced a little this time.

“I’m sorry I worried you so much,” she told him softly. She nuzzled against his neck affectionately.

Dan Heng’s arms encircling her in return made her feel safe and warm. “It wasn’t your fault for being tricked,” he reassured her gently.

“I still should’ve been more careful,” she lamented. “Those women were so weird from the get-go, but I took what they offered me anyway to prove a point.”

Dan Heng withdrew and peered at her in concern. “To prove a point? Did something happen?”

Stelle scratched the back of her head sheepishly. “It’s… embarrassing to think about now. It was like the Vidyadhara there didn’t really approve of me being with you. It made me angry so I wanted to prove to at least one of them that I could handle whatever they could. Even if it was some weird drug.”

“So, you did take it on purpose,” he pointed out flatly, “and worse, you did it without knowing what it was.”

She winced. “W-Well… sort of. They did speak about it like it was some kind of substance, so I had some suspicions, but then all they brought me was food. So, I thought maybe they were just trying to mess with me. I didn’t think it would actually be a drug.”

“Stelle, that’s dangerous,” he scolded. His tone wasn’t unkind, but the sharpness in it told her he was angry. “Drugs can easily be mixed with food to hide them. If you suspected something, you should have refused to eat it. It was only an aphrodisiac this time, and even then, it was still dangerous to you, but it could’ve been much worse. Drugs for long life species can be very harmful to short life species.”

Stelle sighed and flopped over onto the bed. She regretted this instantly because of how much it hurt. She hid her face in her hands as the guilt gnawed at her. “I know, I know!” she groaned. “I feel really stupid about it now.”

“It really isn’t like you to care so much what others think.”

“I know,” she stressed. “Stop lecturing me already.”

He sighed and left the bed. Left alone with her thoughts, Stelle felt awful. He was right that things like that typically didn’t get under her skin, but something about the way Caiji had looked at her when she had confirmed she was Dan Heng’s mate had really bothered her. Stelle’s eyes fluttered open. That’s right. She knew about his condition.

Unexpectedly, Dan Heng returned to her bedside. He had removed his jacket and now held a towel over his arm. Dangling in his other hand was a medicine gourd. “Let me help soothe your aches,” he offered.

She lowered her hands and turned her head to peer up at him, smiling. “Oh? Have you progressed that far in your healing training with Bailu?”

“Yes. It won’t be as good as hers would be, but… it can give you some relief, I think.”

“That’s good enough for me.”

He folded the towel over her shoulders and tucked it gently into place. She scooted forward so he could settle cross-legged behind her. The water he carried in the medicine gourd had been taken from Scalegorge Waterscape and imbued with healing magic from the High Elder herself. Stelle listened to the soft sounds of his Cloudhymn manipulating the water and then shuddered when the icy cold liquid brushed the back of her neck. The pain from the unflattering bruise he’d left there faded quickly.

“You look tired,” she remarked. His face had been uncharacteristically weary when he had entered the room.

“I am.”

“So, I finally wore you out for a change? Hm… maybe I don’t regret it after all.”

“Stelle,” he sighed. The water swept along the other bruises on her neck and shoulders. It helped ease her sore muscles too.

“What? The sex was really good.”

“I’m not validating you because it was the result of something dangerous,” he muttered.

“But you agree,” she teased.

When he refused to answer, Stelle laughed. He gently steadied her shoulders and released a long-suffering sigh. “I can’t heal you if you keep moving around.”

Stifling her giggles, Stelle made a concentrated effort to go still. After a moment the cold water trickled back across her skin and made her shiver. She hated that Cloudhymn water always had to be so cold.

“The Vidyadhara woman who gave me the aphrodisiac knew about your condition,” she said after a few minutes of silence. “She called it a bondmate.”

“That’s supposedly what our dragon ancestors use to call it,” he affirmed.

“You knew it had an official word?”

“Yes. When I learned I was born with this abnormality, I began to do a lot of reading about it. The Vidyadhara studied the phenomenon quite extensively, as they have done with all the hatching rebirth abnormalities that have appeared over time.”

Stelle pressed her lips together in annoyance. “You could’ve told me that way earlier, you know…” She paused as a thought occurred to her. “How did you know you were born with it? Didn’t it only trigger because of me?”

The motion of the water paused as he hesitated. Stelle, never one to be patient, turned quickly to look at him. She regretted it when her sore body shot pain through her limbs and she grimaced. He frowned at her and gently turned her back around. His hands lingered on her shoulders.

“I… hatched with a specific birthmark associated with it.” The reluctance in his tone was familiar. Stelle could recall how frequently he spoke like that on this topic in the past. Although there had been a lot of progress in getting Dan Heng to be more open about it, it seemed there were still more secrets he hadn’t shared.

In some ways it frustrated her. She sympathized, but there wasn’t a reason to be secretive with each other at this point. Not when they had been together happily for this long. Stelle let out a long exhale. She did nothing to conceal her irritation when she finally replied, “How have I never noticed it before? Is it somewhere weird?”

“No, I just conceal it alongside the rest of my Vidyadhara form,” he admitted.

It was true he rarely shifted to his Vidyadhara appearance. For most of their everyday life, including their intimacy, he remained as his human self. In fact, last night was only the fourth time she had been given the opportunity to see him in all his true form glory. But it was only the third time they’d been intimate while he was. So, perhaps it wasn’t that farfetched that she never noticed.

She turned around fully this time which forced Dan Heng to remove his hands from her shoulders. The water he’d been using evaporated away. She settled on her knees in front of him and stared at him curiously. “Can I see it?”

Dan Heng glanced away and there was visible conflict in his expression. She nudged him insistently, frowning. “I asked you to stop hiding this stuff from me so I can help you. You don’t have to carry it all by yourself anymore.”

“I know, but this isn’t…” he trailed off and sighed softly.

She watched as a soft light enveloped him and melted away his usual appearance, leaving behind the Vidyadhara body he’d been born with. Then, he lowered the zippers of the collar of his shirt just enough to expose his collarbone. His fingers brushed over the spot where his neck met his shoulder and when he removed them, a small mark had appeared on his skin. It was faint and a light golden color. It appeared to be an eight flipped on its side, however it was only one half of it. It was like the other half was missing.

“There’s no way I would’ve missed that,” she said flatly. “You were hiding it even in your Vidyadhara form.”

“Yes,” he confessed.

She sighed but decided to let it go. She leaned closer to examine it.

“It looks incomplete,” she pointed out.

“It is,” he said softly. “I’m… supposed to give the other half to you, but…”

Stelle glanced up in alarm, blinking. “What? Really?”

“Yes, but I can’t use the magic required for that spell yet.”

Her gaze flickered back to the mark, her curiosity growing. There was still reluctance in his tone as he spoke, yet he kept answering her questions. “So, you’ll give it to me someday?” she inquired. It didn’t sound that strange the more she thought of it. For the Vidyadhara to magically tether themselves to their beloveds was in line with what she knew both about them and about the nature of his condition.

This time he didn’t answer her. Instead, he looked away, suddenly unable to meet her gaze.

“I won’t,” he replied so quietly she could barely hear him. “Our Cloudhymn grows stronger the older we get. By the time I’m old enough to use the spell, you… won’t be here anymore.”

Something in her stomach dropped. It was the reality of their situation she often forgot. She would spend her entire life with him, the Aeons willing, but for Dan Heng, he would spend most of his life without her. Caiji’s words weighed down her heart with a new understanding. She recalled the look Ningli and some of the others at the party had given her. She had assumed their looks were of disapproval, but now she realized there was another possibility.

Was it sympathy?

Stelle leaned away as if the thought of being close to him was suddenly unbearable. “Dan Heng, what happens to the bond when I die?” she whispered. “Are you still stuck with it?”

Dan Heng took her hands in his and squeezed them tightly. “Please don’t dwell on it,” he begged. “I don’t want you to be upset.”

She pulled her hands away quickly, angry. “You didn’t answer me.”

He lowered his hands and looked at her helplessly. “I don’t want you to feel an obligation to be with me because of how it works.”

His words hurt her. Frustrated tears stung her eyes. “How could you still think that?” she demanded. “You know I don’t feel that way.”

He had made a lot of progress in being more open, but he still suffered from what March had accurately described as a lack of “emotional intelligence”. Stelle frequently forgot this until moments like these where he would inadvertently act inconsiderate because he thought it would protect her.

“I know,” he said, frustration rising in his voice. “I know, but… it seems manipulative, even unintentionally. Because it doesn’t change for me. No matter what. Even when you’re gone, the bond stays, and I’ll always feel the pain of something that can no longer be fulfilled. That’s what it means to be a Scion of Permanence.”

Her voice broke unexpectedly. “Why is this so cruel to you?”

“Because it’s an anomaly,” was his robotic response. “Its magic anchored on something that doesn't exist anymore. There’s nothing that can be done about it.”

He spoke in a detached manner, like he was calmly explaining a scientific process, and that upset her further. She wanted to punch him and hug him simultaneously. Instead Stelle wrapped her arms around herself and turned away to glare teary-eyed at the floor. The most frustrating part was that she knew he was right. He had always made it clear that this anomaly that bound him was inescapable.

Dan Heng cupped her face and gently forced her to look at him. She glared at him stubbornly and he smiled tenderly at her. “I’m happy that I’m with you,” he said. “Even without a bondmate, I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else.”

Stelle’s gaze softened. “You should still have the choice to love someone else when I’m gone. Seven hundred years is a long time.”

“I would still only choose you.”

She wanted to stay upset, and there was a part of her that still was because of his stubbornness, but his sincere words melted away the remains of her distress.

“I’m happy too,” she told him softly. But it isn’t fair that you experience love this way. Irrationally she wished she could go back in time and scold the dragons of the past for creating such a twisted idea of companionship.

“That’s all that matters to me,” he told her earnestly.

She finally relented. She unfolded her arms and hugged him. His arms around her waist felt heavy. She couldn’t help but repeat “But it isn’t fair” in her mind. She knew no matter how many times she said it the situation wouldn’t change. Stelle wasn’t used to being angry at an injustice she couldn’t fix with a swing of her bat. These complicated emotions that arose because of this new information made her feel utterly helpless. All she could do was love him, to never take for granted the imbalance of power in their situation and hope it was enough.

She squeezed him tighter and he tensed slightly. “Please don’t be upset about it,” he pleaded.

“Of course I’m upset about it,” she answered with some displeasure, “but I won’t dwell on it like you said. It’s… how it is.” It was like worrying about the inevitability of death. It wouldn’t change anything. Living in the present, holding each moment like this close to her heart, was what really mattered. She was good at that part, at least. Worrying about the future wasn’t her style. Or so she tried to convince herself.

Dan Heng nodded silently. He held her until Stelle decided her eyes were dry enough. She finally pulled away from his embrace. She realized the soreness in her body had diminished quite significantly.

“Oh… you cured me,” she sighed with relief.

“I only numbed the pain a bit, so don’t do anything strenuous for a while until you’re fully recovered,” he told her seriously. She watched him zip the collar of his shirt back up and transform into his human guise once more. He moved to sit on the edge of the bed again and placed the medicinal gourd on the nightstand.

Her eyes lingered on the now hidden spot where the mark had appeared. “Dan Heng,” she called after a moment. He glanced at her.

“The mark… what does it do when you give it to me?”

“Nothing,” he replied candidly. “It’s just a symbolic significance of a bondmate. A way to tie us together like… um…” His face turned a delightful shade of red. He lost his courage and quickly looked away from her, fidgeting. “Well, like… an exchange of vows. A promise to be together. An acknowledgement that I’m yours and that you’ve accepted me.”

Stelle’s face grew warm. “It’s like marriage?”

“It’s not,” he explained quickly, looking further flustered by her blunt assessment. “The Vidyadhara don’t have the concept of marriage like many other cultures. They mostly adopted it from the Xianzhou over time. Something like this doesn’t have any legality to it either so, um…” He trailed off when he realized he was rambling.

Her lips twitched as she tried and failed to suppress a smile. The unusual look of embarrassment on his face made her chest feel warm. “Soooo…” she drawled pointedly, leaning towards him with arched eyebrows. “You’re saying you don’t want to marry me?”

He went suspiciously silent. Stelle had only meant to tease him but something about the silence suddenly felt heavy. She blinked. Her heart was racing for some reason.

Then unexpectedly he muttered, “Of course I do.”

That wasn’t the response she had been expecting. Her racing heart came to a dead halt. She was sure her face was bright red. When he looked at her, he was blushing, but there was no uncertainty in his eyes. Stelle floundered in her head to find words, but nothing came to mind. All she could do was stare at him in flabbergasted silence. She had never thought seriously about that next step in their relationship, hence why she had tried to tease him about it, but apparently, he had. And now she was out of her depth.

Her bewildered expression caused him to falter somewhat and she panicked. “You do?” she blurted out quickly. Not the most eloquent response but it was better than dumbfounded silence.

To her relief, a faint smile touched his lips. “Why does that surprise you?”

 “What do you mean why?!” she squeaked. She flailed her hands in an undignified manner. “You can’t just…! To just say without warning that you…!”

Dan Heng laughed. It was still such a rare sound to hear out in the open. He stood and approached her. He leaned down and kissed her lightly on her forehead. “Let’s go home, Stelle.”

He withdrew and Stelle was more flustered than before. She tried to grab him, but he avoided her. “Dan Heng!”

“We’ll talk about it after our next mission,” he said as he walked away from her. His tone was light with amusement.

Stelle sulked. “But that’ll be ages from now…”

“Indeed.”

She sighed dramatically. How dare him.

She thought about the next planet they were meant to visit. Amphoreus. An entirely unknown planet. The prospect excited her as much as it made her nervous. But it would be fine. And she would hold him to that promise of discussing it later.

At the time, she had no way of knowing how their time in Amphoreus would irreversibly change them and their relationship forever.

Or how the red string of fate that tightly bound them would finally unravel.