Chapter Text
1 - Groceries, again?
“Absolutely not.”
Shane is already shaking his head before Connor even finishes the sentence.
“You didn’t even let me explain,” Connor protests.
“I don’t need to. The answer is no.”
From the couch, Ilya looks up, immediately interested.
“…what are we saying no to?”
Connor turns to him like he’s found an ally.
“Groceries.”
Ilya pauses.
Then slowly sits up.
“…you want to go grocery shopping.”
“Yes.”
“With us.”
“Yes.”
Shane points at both of them. “No.”
Ilya considers this.
“…I feel like this is unfair,” he says.
Shane stares at him. “You got kidnapped.”
“That was one time.”
“It was a significant time.”
Connor nods. “Statistically unlikely to happen again.”
Shane looks at him. “You were the reason it happened.”
“I was the confusion,” Connor corrects. “Very different.”
Ilya swings his legs off the couch.
“I think we should go,” he says.
Shane pinches the bridge of his nose.
“Ilya—”
“I’m healed,” Ilya adds. “Mostly.”
“Mostly is not reassuring.”
Connor gestures between them. “We’ll be careful.”
“You said that last time you walked into our house without knocking.”
“That’s unrelated.”
“It’s directly related to your decision-making skills.”
Five minutes later—
They’re in the car.
Shane is driving like this is a hostage transport situation.
Connor is in the passenger seat, far too relaxed.
Ilya is in the back, watching both of them like it’s entertainment.
“…you’re gripping the wheel too hard,” Connor says.
“I am not.”
“You are.”
“I’m driving.”
“You’re stress driving.”
The grocery store is normal.
Which somehow makes it worse.
Connor grabs a cart.
Ilya immediately leans on it.
Shane watches both of them like he’s supervising toddlers.
“…this was a mistake,” he mutters.
“Quinoa,” Ilya says casually.
Shane closes his eyes.
“Of course.”
Connor perks up. “I know where that is.”
Shane looks at him sharply. “Why?”
“I’ve learned,” Connor says proudly.
“From what?”
“Trauma.”
Ilya nods. “Growth.”
Shane exhales. “Unbelievable.”
They make it three aisles before someone does a double-take.
Then another.
Then a third.
Connor notices first.
“…oh,” he says.
Shane immediately tenses. “What?”
Connor nods toward a woman staring between him and Ilya.
“She’s doing the thing.”
“The thing?” Ilya asks.
“The ‘why are there two of you’ thing.”
The woman hesitates, then approaches.
“…I’m sorry,” she says carefully, “are you—”
Connor smiles. “Yes.”
She turns to Ilya.
“…and you’re—”
Ilya nods. “Also, yes.”
Shane steps in. “No.”
The woman blinks.
“I’m confused.”
“Same,” Shane says.
Connor gestures between himself and Ilya.
“Long story,” he says.
“Very long,” Ilya agrees.
“Not grocery store appropriate,” Shane finishes.
They walk away.
Fast.
“…this is why we don’t leave the house,” Shane says.
Connor grins. “This is why we absolutely should.”
Ilya leans on the cart again.
“…worth it.”
Shane looks at both of them.
“…I regret everything.”
At checkout, Connor unloads the cart.
Ilya watches.
“…you forgot something,” he says.
Shane immediately tenses. “What?”
Ilya smirks.
“…quinoa.”
Connor freezes.
Shane stares.
A beat.
Connor slowly turns.
“…I knew that.”
“You said you knew where it was,” Shane says.
“I did. I just chose not to go there.”
“That’s not how groceries work.”
Ilya laughs—real, unguarded.
Shane exhales, shaking his head.
Connor grabs the cart again.
“I’m going back.”
“You’re not going alone,” Shane says immediately.
“I’m not getting kidnapped,” Connor replies.
“You might get mistaken.”
“…fair.”
Ilya pushes himself upright.
“I’m coming.”
Shane looks at both of them.
“…I hate this.”
They head back into the store.
Together.
Again.
And this time—
Shane doesn’t look like he’s about to lose everything.
Just like he’s dealing with two idiots.
Which, honestly?
Is a massive improvement.