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It's your first day of Kindergarten.
Your Mom dropped you off out in front of the school.
She kissed you, said she would be back later.
You smiled, saying "I love you mommy."
Your mother didn’t come back that day.
Your mother never came back.
You ask your Bro where Mommy went.
He won't tell you.
The kids pushed you over on the playground.
You skinned both of your knees, and it hurt.
The blood scared you.
They laughed, pointing at you.
You laughed along with them.
Middle school started last month.
You came home crying.
Bro wrapped you in his arms, telling you to be quiet.
You're going to wake the neighbors.
You hate being hurt.
You hate being made fun of.
You hate being weak.
He started teaching you how to hide yourself.
He taught you to hide your emotions behind an indifferent mask,
To keep your eyes behind tinted glass.
The kids at school were less than impressed.
You move again, to New York.
You meet a girl there, Rose.
She doesn't hate you as much as the other kids do.
You smile for the first time in years.
At the end of your 8th grade year, her mom takes her away.
She's going to live in Hawaii, with her aunt.
Her mom doesn't want her to have contact with you.
Your Bro must have fucked this one up, too.
You're moved again, just before high school.
Seattle, Washington. It was rainy and dull.
You weren't looking forward to this.
You met someone today. His name was John.
He smiled at you, and he asked if you wanted to be his friend.
You told him to fuck off.
He just laughed and dragged you over to his lunch table.
You're halfway through the first year.
You ask John out, and he laughs and says he doesn’t like guys, but he's flattered.
You can feel your heart shrivel a little bit more.
Karkat and Vriska aren't so bad either.
You cant help but stare at Karkat when John introduces you.
"What, you’ve never seen a chemo patient before, fuckface?"
You merely laugh. He looks a bit relieved.
It's your second year of High school.
John and Vriska are dating, and Karkat asked you out.
You said yes.
You're still not over John.
The second year is almost over, and you and Karkat have done a bit more than kissing.
John and Vriska broke up a few weeks ago, and John came crying back to you.
You didn’t really care.
You think you're in love with Karkat.
It's the first time you’ve smiled since Rose.
And this time, it’s a real smile.
It's the summer after your second year ends.
Karkat's in the hospital again.
His cancer is back, and he might not make it.
You don’t know what you would do if that happened.
You visited Karkat over the weekend.
The doctors said he was getting better.
The cancer was dissipating.
You smiled for the first time in months.
It's the day before school starts.
You get a call from the hospital, and your bro hands you the phone.
You cant feel anything.
You're numb.
Cold steel slicing across your wrist is fascinating.
The blood wells up at the surface.
Red was Karkat's favorite color.
The blood doesn’t scare you anymore.
Halfway through the school year.
You started having to wear long-sleeve shirts.
You're running out of room on your arms.
You miss Karkat.
John moved away, to live with his cousin in the Caribbean.
Vriska moved schools a few days ago.
You have nobody.
You stopped going to school a few weeks ago.
The cuts are getting deeper, and you think they might be infected.
You're running out of room on your stomach.
You cant bring yourself to give a fuck.
Bro caught you cutting yesterday.
He took away all of your blades, and called the hospital.
They're coming for you in the morning.
You still cant bring yourself to care.
Three months in the hospital, and all that’s happened is that you're slowly going insane.
Your skin itches with unfulfilled addiction.
You find a staple on the ground outside.
That's all you need.
They send you home a few days later.
Saying you've had "great improvement."
They're wrong.
Bro makes you go back to school the next day.
Everyone is staring.
They notice the scars on your arms.
You hear whispers.
You're glad you kept the staple.
You got a call from johns dad yesterday.
He was hit by a speeding vehicle.
Your last shred of light is gone.
You don’t leave your room anymore.
Bro bought you blades for your charcoal at the beginning of the school year.
He trusts you to control yourself. He thinks you're better now.
Truth is, they're better for cutting skin than rock.
Bro is banging on your door.
Or is he? You don’t know.
Everything is blurry, it sounds far away.
Your wrists throb, but its more pleasure than pain.
Actually, you cant feel anything.
You're swimming in a pool of euphoria.
Its finally silent.
You think you might be happy.
Maybe you'll see your mother.
Or John.
You hope Karkat is waiting for you.
Your name is Dave Strider, and you think you may have cut too deep this time.
Or maybe it was just deep enough.