Archive of Our Own

Shane had been counting down the days until he and his husband were able to finally relax at the cottage. This past year had been a roller coaster of new things, to say the least. He and Ilya were not only out but also married, Shane signed with the Ottawa Centaurs and the team got their first ever Stanley Cup, and still, things were complicated in the hockey world when it came to their relationship. Scott Hunter had paved the way for the queer players of the MLH, but this was all new territory. But with Ilya at his side, Shane knew they could get through anything.

So now, Shane sat happily in the sun as he watched Ilya try to get Luca to be more agressive in chicken fight in the water against Dykstra and Holberg. The couple had agreed to host the first free weekend of their break at their cabin. The guys with families or wives ended up booking a cabin down the road for the weekend, but most of the team stayed in their cabin. Shane had never seen Ilya so in his element as he hung around the team. Although it was a bit crazy, Shane was happy to relax at the current moment while Boodram handled the food on the grill and some of the WAGS and Yuna handled other food things inside. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the warmth, hearing the sounds of kids and adults playing, dogs happily barking, and good times being had.

"Ilya Rozanov-Hollander!" Harris shouted out to the men at the lake. He held Troy's phone in his hand, as his phone was MIA in the chaos of the weekend.

"Uh oh, what did he do now?" David asked. He had been sipping a beer and chatting with Wiebe, but everyone's attention was now on Harris, who looked exasperated. Harris handed the phone back to his boyfriend and put his hands on his hips.

"Do you want to tell them why you are in trouble or should I?" He asked. It wasn't an unusual thing for Ilya to get into hot water with Harris, as the Russian often found new ways to make the other man's job harder than it needed to be. Luca climbed off of Ilya's shoulders, not wanting to be in the spotlight with their captain. Ilya swam up to the shore, his smile wide but in no way innocent.

"I may or may not have tweeted something while drunk last night. In my defense, the kids have been too sheltered and I practically took a shot every round of Never Have I Ever" Ilya explained before going over to Shane, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and kissing his cheek. Shane winced, his clothes now wet.

"Ilya, you tweeted and I quote, "I keep trying to get my husband pregnant but nothing works. Any tips on how to do it better? We would have perfect babies." And you posted it before Never Have I Ever even started last night!" Harris read after taking the phone from his boyfriend again. Shane turned and glared at his husband, who just shrugged.

"We would! Baby Hollander would be adorable and the greatest hockey player of all time. We would be a powerhouse family" Ilya explained.

"He's right. If they could have kids, those kids would be legendary hockey players. And adorable to boot" Yuna said, having had come out with some of the sides during the conversation. Shane groaned and hid his face.

"You both are the worst!" He complained.

"If it wasn't for the fact that we literally just started our off season, you would once again be in media training. So don't be surprised come September when you are doing the course again when everyone else gets to have time on the ice" Harris scolded.

"So what I am hearing is that I can post whatever I want this summer and won't face consequences until September" Ilya jested, shooting a wink at his husband.

"It's okay, Harris. I will keep him in line this summer or else he won't get any chicken katsu alfredo" Yuna offered.

"No! My weakness! Don't take that from me!" Ilya whined, causing the whole group to laugh. Shane laughed awkwardly. Since this was the first season that Shane played in his hometown, his mom had become even more involved in his hockey career than before. She sat in on practices, working on her laptop and giving advice to both players and coaches. She would even bring treats for the team, like coffee or muffins, and host monthly dinners where she cooked a big meal and hosted the entire team and their loved ones. It was to the point that the other players called her Mama Yuna and joked that she was the extra coach. It drove Shane crazy.

"Food is nearly done, so come on and serve yourselves" Cassie Boodram called out as she sat down a bowl on the large table. She had their son, Milo, strapped to her chest as he happily cooed at everything. Shane was appreciative of the pivot to something less focused on his humiliation.

"Oh fuck yeah! Mama Yuna made the Japanese poutine again!" Young cheered as he approached the table.

"Of course. I can't not make your guys' favorite for the victory barbecue" Yuna responded as she began to serve some out onto players' plates. Shane rolled his eyes, huffing as he went to grab another ginger ale.

"Let me make your plate for you?" Ilya asked politely before kissing on his neck.

"If I let you do that, you are going to put the food I would least likely get for myself."

"Yes, but good for you. Team doctor said you need more calories" Ilya said. Shane relented and had a seat at one of the smaller folding tables that they had gotten for the occasion. David sat down across from him, his plate piled with a little bit of everything.

"Enjoying the party, son?" He asked before taking a bite of potato salad.

"I am ready for everyone to go home for the night. Love the team but I am ready for some alone time with my husband and dog" Shane admitted before awkwardly taking a sip of his drink.

"I understand. Your mother and I are looking forward to a peaceful night tonight before the trip" David responded.

"Trip? I didn't know you guys were going on a trip" Shane asked, confused.

"Did you forget? Shane, I have been reminding you for months! You have stuff to do for your brand deals in Los Angeles for the next week. We fly out on Tuesday" Yuna slightly scolded as she sat down in between them. Shane frowned. He had totally forgotten about that.

Shane had been so looking forward to relaxing that he had completely forgotten that he had those commitments. And that he and Ilya wouldn't truly get to relax until after the MLH awards in July, as after he got back they had to do the Ottawa Game Changers camp and then do a long weekend hockey camp in Letterkenny that Harris worked really hard to set up. Shane felt all of the hopes he had for these next couple of weeks before the MLH awards fade away.

"Oh yeah. That" Shane replied, trying very hard to fight the urge to make a face. It seemed to work as his parents continued eating their food. It was only shortly after that Ilya placed a plate right in front of him, which did get him to make a face.

"Ilya. You have wet foods near dry foods."

"I know, that's my plate. I had to get you two plates so nothing touches anything else. I put plate in front of you so you can cut kielbasa up for Anya while I get them" Ilya explained. Their dog daughter sat right next to Shane, her tail wagging a million miles a minute in anticipation. Shane rolled his eyes but got the kielbasa and began to cut it up for her. He had never had a pet before, so it made him nervous feeding her human foods.

"I still have the plates with the dividers at our cottage if you want some of them. I don't use them as often as I used to" Yuna offered him. Shane frowned at that. It was so humiliating that his mom would say such a childish thing in front of his teammates.

"No, Mom, I'm fine with the normal plates" Shane responded, a little snippy. Ilya placed two plates down in front of Shane before joining them at the small table.

"Watch how you talk to Mama Yuna. It was nice offer" Ilya chided quietly before taking a giant bite out of a rib. Shane wanted to glare at him but knew that Ilya wasn't above dragging him to the bathroom to give him a sneak peak of what would happen later if he didn't straighten out.

"Are you ready for your Calvin Klein photoshoot for Tuesday, son?" David asked Ilya. The Russian just smiled at his father in law.

"I was born ready, I'm hottest man in the world, after all. My husband is a very close second" Ilya answered before planting a kiss on Shane's cheek. Shane winced as Ilya had left behind barbecue sauce on his face. At least Ilya would be at the airport with Shane on Tuesday, just for different flights. Ilya was going to New York for his photoshoot, then would fly back the next day with Svetlana to hang out while Shane was away. During the time that Shane should be laying in the hammock snuggled up against Ilya. Shane wanted to scream, but sat and slowly ate at his food as he didn't want to cause a scene over something so small.

A few hours later, most of the team had gone back home with just a few still stragglers left. Harris and Troy were still there, helping clean and talking more about the hockey camp for Letterkenny. Luca had carpooled with them so was there helping David with the dishes. Ilya was starting the loads of laundry that would need to be done after having so many people over for a whole weekend. Yuna and Shane did a much deeper cleaning, both very much disliked having things out of order.

"So your cousin and his friend are also going to be helping with the weekend camp? That is great! I met him, right? Which one is he again?" Yuna asked as she mopped the floors near Harris, who was sorting the recycling.

"Yes, you did meet them at the exhibition charity game in Letterkenny. I'm not actually sure which one is my cousin. Jonesy and Reilly are always together and have been since I was old enough to remember. I'd say they were totally into each other if they weren't so painfully straight" Harris answered honestly.

"Which is crazy considering how gay that town is" Ilya called from the laundry room.

"Ilya, that town was not gay. Just a few people were" Shane called back. He was currently replenishing the fridge with drinks and leftovers that weren't taken from earlier.

"No, he's right. Letterkenny is pretty gay. We're set to have our first pride parade next weekend. I would say that at least 75% of Letterkenny is queer" Harris remarked.

"Everytime I see that preacher, he makes it very known that I am his type. The worst part is he never seems to be wearing any pants when in the church" Troy added, his nose all scrunched up.

"When I stayed with Troy and Harris one time, I went to the gym to get my workout in. There was these two guys who kept saying different ways of how they would like to have sex with me" Luca recounted, blushing profusely.

"Oh yeah, Dax and Ron do that to everyone" Harris confirmed.

"Well, I think it's great that you all are doing this. It's even more amazing that those two siblings raised all the money to keep it completely free for the kids" Yuna said.

"I know! I practically cried when Wayne and Katie gave me the money. Tanis also managed to get transportation set up for all the kids that wanted to go in Letterkenny and on the reservation. I'm just happy that these guys were willing to help me give back to my hometown" Harris said. He leaned over and gave his boyfriend a passionate kiss. Shane smiled. He was happy to help Harris with this project. Sure, it frustrated him that it cut down on relaxation time with Ilya, but now that they were married and together, they had all the time in the world for that.

"Is there anything I can do to help it run smoothly?" Yuna asked.

"Actually yes, but too much to describe at the moment. Can you do lunch next week?" Harris asked.

"Of course! I'll text when we get back from Los Angeles and we can hash everything out then" Yuna answered, smiling.

"Thank you, Mama Yuna. You're the best" Harris said. Shane rolled his eyes and finished packaging up all the leftovers. After another hour of cleaning, the few that remained made their goodbyes. Finally, Shane had his home and his husband all to himself. Anya was fast asleep in her dog bed by the fireplace. Ilya wrapped his arms around Shane's waist and brought him close to him.

"Thank you for doing this for me, Shane. I appreciate that you did" Ilya said before giving his husband a gentle kiss.

"It was fun. Maybe next time, though, we rent the team a few cabins nearby instead. Did not care to have to tiptoe over sleeping drunk people every morning to go do my run" Shane told him. Ilya smiled cheekily at that.

"Is that the only thing you didn't care about? Hm? I guess you didn't miss being fucked so hard that you saw stars. Didn't miss putting your soft gorgeous lips around my giant cock and tasting me either, no?" Ilya teased. Shane felt his face flush. Fuck, he did miss that this weekend. Of course, the sex after the game was amazing but not enough to last a long weekend when his husband looked so damn fine.

"I missed it so much. Is it just me or did your clothes somehow get tighter this weekend?" He asked, grabbing at his husband hungrily.

"I bought a size smaller in a few of my outfits just to tease you" Ilya admitted.

"You asshole! I knew they were tighter than normal."

"Relax, Shane. I will give you everything you need and more. Right after your maintenance" Ilya said before plopping himself onto the couch. Shane was thrown off guard by the announcement.

"What?" He blurted out. He had not been expecting that.

"Are you new here, Hollander? Every Sunday night is maintenance, remember? Helps keep you relaxed and settled for the week" Ilya explained. Shane couldn't help but glare at him.

"I know what it is, Ilya. But that was just for the season. It's off season, so we are not doing that" Shane huffed out. Sure, it had helped him relax his muscles like he never could on his own and helped him release pent up frustrations, but it was the summer now. He had no reason to be stressed enough to need that again.

"I know we started because of stress of lead up to playoffs, but it helps, yes?" Ilya asked, trying to understand a little better. They had started in March, as Ilya had approached Shane with the idea as he noticed Shane acting out more than normal. It was embarrassing at first, but Shane did notice he found himself a lot more relaxed and in a lot less trouble when he had their weekly spanking sessions. Not to mention that the sex afterwards was always phenomenal, but Shane didn't want to have to need it.

"Yes, but I am sure now. Only sexy and punishment spankings this summer, with a demand for the former rather than the latter" Shane said before straddling Ilya's lap. Ilya's hands automatically found his ass and gave it a good squeeze.

"Hm. Okay. Maybe roleplay then? I also have new idea" Ilya offered, accepting his husband's decision.

"Idea? What do you have in mind, handsome?" Shane asked, staring at Ilya's bottom lip. He wanted to lean down and bite it, but he knew that if he did it now, he wouldn't get to hear whatever his spouse came up with.

"I put on some music and I sing along, but in Russian. You learn better when you are being fucked" Ilya stated, his voice husky. Shane smiled and leaned over to his ear.

"Well then, I guess I am ready for my lesson, Professor Rozanov" Shane whispered to him before kissing on his neck. He heard the Russian moan a little.

"In Russian" he ordered, his grip on Shane's ass tightening.

"Я готов к уроку, профессор Розанов" Shane answered slowly, in between kisses and hickey making. Ilya then lifted Shane up as he stood and carried him all the way to the bedroom.
-----
Shane sat in his chair in the Maple Leaf Lounge in the airport. His mom was already in manager mode, typing away on her tablet keyboard with speeds that rivaled Formula 1 cars. He was staring at the floor when he felt a hand on his knee.

"You will create hole in floor with how much you bounce leg" Ilya told him quietly, now sitting next to him. The Russian was in all black athleisure with a ballcap and sunglasses to match, which was silly for being indoors but Shane understood. He himself was dressed in sweats and just hoped that keeping his head down that people wouldn't recognize him. Ilya held up a smoothie and a parfait for him, which Shane happily accepted and gave him a kiss.

"Sorry, I'm just going to miss you this week. Spent over a decade apart and now if we are away from each other for more than a weekend, it kills me" Shane admitted quietly. Ilya gave his knee a squeeze, doing his best to give quiet comfort.

"I can come to Los Angeles after photoshoot?" He offered.

"No, no. You and Svetlana are supposed to hang out at the cottage. I don't want to make you miss out on spending time with her" Shane replied.

"She could come with? You know she always has good time when in LA. Especially when hanging out with Rose Landry."

"You told Dad that he would only have to watch Anya for a couple days. I'll be okay" Shane insisted. He wanted Ilya to come with him, but it felt selfish to him to want to make Ilya spend less time with his best friend in order to accommodate his wants. Ilya looked over him, as if he was trying to detect anything that would say otherwise, before he shrugged and took a bite out of the waffle he had made from the lounge breakfast bar.

"If that changes, call me. Anya, Svetlana, and I will be with you as soon as we can" Ilya said. Shane offered a weak smile before he began to eat his parfait. There was a nice lull of silence between them as they ate, enjoying the quiet morning atmosphere of the airport lounge.

"Okay, so our flight is coming up shortly and we will have to get to our gate, so I am going to go over the schedule with you both. Ilya, you will have a driver waiting for you at the airport once you land, holding up your married name as requested. The Calvin Klein shoot should only be about four hours, give or take. The rest of the night is yours and your flight back to Ottawa is tomorrow afternoon. Shane, as soon as we land in LA we have to go to lunch with some potential investors for the Irina Foundation. Then after that, we should have time to go and drop our things off at Rose's place before we have to go to the Reebok shoot" Yuna announced after a while, gathering her stuff together. Shane sighed and stood up before turning to his husband.

"I will walk with before I go to my gate. I'm not ready yet to be without my pretty husband" Ilya said as he stood. He took Shane's hand in his, lacing their fingers together as if he was making it hard for Shane to let go, not that the Canadian wanted to. They all walked out of the lounge and went straight to the gate for the LA flight. The sign said they were only a couple minutes away from boarding first class, so Ilya spun his husband around to face him and held him close.

"I will call every night. At ten on dot for you. Try and have fun this week. Sunday cannot come soon enough" Ilya told him. He pulled the shorter man in for a deep, passionate kiss. Normally, Shane would be embarrassed by the amount of PDA happening, but he soaked it all up.

"Text when you land, please? I'll be looking forward to your calls" Shane asked once they pulled away, already missing how Ilya's mouth tasted. Ever since the plane incident in Tampa, Shane had become incredibly anxious whenever Ilya flew on his own. Ilya hugged him tightly.

"I promise I will. I love you" he answered.

"Now boarding first class for Los Angeles. Please have your boarding passes ready" the gate agent announced over the intercom. Shane glanced over to the gate and then back to his husband. He felt annoying clinging to Ilya like this, but Shane just wanted to be lounging in bed with him at the moment.

"Off you go. Have good flight. In couple minutes, you get text from me" Ilya said. He quickly went and gave Yuna a hug before leaving Shane at his gate. Shane had so many questions, but he had to board, so he joined his mom in line. When it got to Yuna's turn, she handed over two tickets.

"This is my ticket and my son's ticket" she explained.

"Mom. I have my boarding pass on my phone, I could have done it myself."

"It's just easier since I had the tickets printed already, Shane. Save your battery for the flight, it is a long one" Yuna stated as they walked down the jet bridge. Shane rubbed his face, reminding himself that it was just a little longer until he and Ilya could enjoy the cottage for their break.

When he finally sat in his seat, he felt his phone buzz. He quietly pulled it out of his pocket and saw that it was a text from Ilya. Shane didn't think much of it before clicking it. He saw the rather lewd photo for only a moment before throwing his phone onto the ground, his face turning bright red.

"What was that?" Yuna asked, confused as she looked up from her tablet. Shane quickly scrambled to grab the phone and turn it away from her.

"Thought I saw a spider, freaked me out a bit" he fibbed. Yuna seemed satisfied with the answer and went back to her tablet to type away. Shane very carefully angled himself so no one could see his screen and began to type away.

"Fuck you, asshole, what if my mom saw this?" He sent. Ilya answered back almost instantly.

"Do you not like?" Was all that it said. Shane huffed. He hated to admit it, but he loved it. In the photo, Ilya was on the bed, knees spread. His back was towards the camera, but he had his head turned so you could see his side profile. He only had on a hockey jersey, specifically Shane's Centaurs jersey. It was tight on him, hugging against all of Ilya's muscles as they flexed in the pose. However, the bottom of the jersey was bundled up and being held by one hand. It was just so it could prominently feature what he had assumed Ilya wanted it to focus on, his tramp stamp. Ilya had gotten it while on their honeymoon in Ibiza and even though at the time he thought it was ridiculous, it made Shane feel incredibly horny everytime he saw it. It was a cyber sigilism style tattoo that read Property of Shane. It looked so glorious as it rested just above Ilya's firm ass. God, his husband was the hottest man alive and he knew it, using his looks to torture Shane like this in public spaces.

"I am getting this framed and hung above the bed" Shane replied before turning his phone onto airplane mode.
-----
"Shane! My beautiful husband! Everybody shut up, my husband is on the phone!" Ilya called out as he adjusted how he held his phone for the FaceTime call. Shane chuckled as he settled into his bed.

"Ilya, you are the only person here besides me. It is a Wednesday at 2 am. Even Svetlana left hours ago" Kip Grady, Scott Hunter's husband, said off camera. He then came in view and waved.

"Hi Shane! Please stop letting Ilya come here alone. You keep him on a tight leash and he never behaves when you aren't around" Kip told him.

"Well, he doesn't exactly behave when I am around either."

"He behaves better. He's been terrorizing the baby gays that have been coming in all night!"

"I am not! I am just reminding them that they will never find anyone as good looking as my husband" Ilya defended himself. Kip laughed.

"I am surprised Hunter hasn't kicked him out yet" Shane mused.

"I thought Scott texted you earlier? He's also in LA for Nike stuff. On Friday, they are hosting a party for all of their Queer Ambassadors to show appreciation for what they are doing for the community and for the brand. He said he texted you to invite you" Kip said, looking confused. Shane checked his notifications and sure enough, he had a text from Scott several hours ago.

"Would I even be able to go? I have a deal with Reebok" Shane asked.

"Don't wear Nike. Wear Reebok shoes and normal clothes. Just make sure you look better than the old man" Ilya answered. The answer seemed easy enough.

"Now enough of has beens. How was your day? I want to know everything" Ilya said, shoving Kip away and bringing the phone closer.

"Ow, you bitch! Bye, Shane" Kip called out off screen.

"Ilya! You can't just shove people! Bye Kip, sorry for my husband" Shane scolded. Ilya turned off camera, presumably to the bartender.

"Sorry" he said to Kip.

"You're lucky I think you're funny and you leave good tips, or else I would sick my husband on you" Kip replied.

"And do what? He'll hurt himself or I will moan, he loses either way" Ilya shot back.

"Ilya!" Shane said, his face heating up. Could it even be considered second hand embarrassment if the person who should be embarrassed wasn't? Ilya turned back to the camera and winked at his husband.

"So your day?"

"Ugh. Too long. Immediately when we landed, we had to go straight to this restaurant to talk to potential donors for the foundation. I swear, if one more person says how I should feel proud or brave for being a queer Asian hockey player, I am going to lose it" Shane rambled, having bottled it all in during the day. What was worse was that his mother milked it up for those rich assholes, talking about how Shane was paving the way for diversity in the MLH. It made him feel that the only reason he was considered one of the greatest players of all time was because he was gay and Asian and not because he actually worked hard to get the skills he had. All he could do was sit with a plastered smile as he bided his time until it was over.

"Oh? Brave and proud, hm? I hope you ran their pockets dry" Ilya said, smiling. He and Shane always took it as a challenge to see how much money they could get people to shell out for the charity when they felt belittled by donors. It may have been a bad thing to do, but at the end of the day it all went to a good cause and they felt so much better. Ilya always got a lot of money when people would tell him that his English is getting much better.

"Of course I did, I think this might be a record breaking year for how much money we raised for donation" Shane said. Ilya grinned wildly at that.

"Good boy, very proud of you. Did you eat?" Ilya praised. Shane was glad Kip wasn't able to see him at the moment, as he was sure he definitely looked a bit flustered.

"Yeah, Salmone Scottato in Padella. I enjoyed it. Next time we are here, we should come back to this place" Shane answered.

"I would love that" Ilya said softly. Shane wished he could just kiss Ilya through the phone. Only he got to have this sweet, caring side of Ilya. He showed it to others, sure, but it was all reserved for him.

"After that, we had time for us to stop at Rose's place to drop our stuff off and for a quick shower. It'll be great when Rose is actually in town tomorrow. Feels awkward being in someone's house without them being home, even if she knows and says we can stay. Then we ubered to my Reebok photoshoot. It went... okay" Shane said. Ilya raised his eyebrow at him, a silent way of telling him to be honest. The Canadian sighed, relenting to his husband.

"I didn't know that this was not a solo shoot but a group shoot with other brand ambassadors. It was a lot of people. It was way too loud and bright and all of these people touching me to angle me for pictures and having the other ambassadors touching me for photos. Didn't help that my mom also nitpicked every little thing I did and was manhandling me just as much as the photographer assistants" Shane said. Ever since taking the pay cut to play with Ottawa, Shane got most of his money through his brand deals now. He still out-earned Ilya by a long shot, but he was finding himself growing tired with how demanding working with brands could be.

"You know you are talent, yes? If you say stop touching, they stop touching. They don't for me at Calvin Klein, but that is because I am too irresistible" Ilya said, teasing at the end. Shane really hoped his husband managed to get some of the rough take pictures for him.

"I don't want to be difficult. They could fire me" Shane said.

"Shane, brands only fire athletes and celebs when they do terrible things. Like sexual assault or being a bigot. Simple boundaries are always respected. When I first started with Calvin Klein, they wanted me to remove Mama's cross for photoshoot. I said no, it is important and I will not be without it. So now, no one blinks to see me wearing her cross and my ring around my neck. You do not always have to be the one to accom- accomplish? Accountant?"

"Accommodate."

"Thank you, accomodate. You can be accomodated. And if they don't? Yuna finds you new brand that will. That simple" Ilya explained. Shane sighed. Ilya was right, but it didn't actually make anything easier for him. If anything, it made it harder because now he had to find a way to actually make those boundaries. Especially when it came to making boundaries with his mother.

"I think I am going to go to bed now. I've got a lot of interviews I am supposed to be doing tomorrow and then Rose wants to take us to dinner down by the beach. Goodnight, Ilya. I love you" Shane said, deciding to avoid that conversation for the night. Ilya got closer to the phone until all Shane could see was his husband's face. The impish look on the Russian's face told Shane that his husband was about to say something out of pocket.

"Are you going to bed or are you going to jerk off to that picture I sent you?" He asked quietly. Shane appreciated that his husband didn't say it any louder because if Kip had heard that, Shane would never be able to show his face around him or Scott Hunter again as he would probably die of humiliation. Still, Shane's blushing face betrayed him. He was only glad that Ilya couldn't see below his bust, as he had been worked up since the praise from earlier.

"Fuck off, Rozanov" Shane spat out. Ilya tutted at him.

"That's Mr. Hollander to you. Take video for me. I'll send you one later" Ilya promised, smiling cockily into the camera. Shane huffed, shifting in his bed.

"You are the most annoying husband in the world" he muttered, turning away from the camera.

"А ты — самый капризный. Спокойной ночи. Я тебя люблю, но пришли мне видео!" Ilya said, kissing the screen before hanging up. He left Shane to translate the Russian on his own, which took him a few minutes. It definitely didn't help the situation down below once he did. Shane huffed again before setting up the camera and hitting record.
-----
"Are you seriously going to wear that?" Yuna asked from the kitchen as Shane came down the stairs. He had just gotten out of the shower and gotten ready for all of the interviews he had to do for the day. He didn't think the clothes he picked were bad, he could have just worn the sweaty gym clothes he had just worn to work out.

"What's wrong with my outfit?" He asked, feeling defensive. He crossed his arms. Yuna opened her mouth, then closed it, then gestured at him.

"I bought you that exact outfit right after the draft for you to do interviews in with the local news networks. That was in 2009. Every interview since then you have worn that exact same outfit. People online say that you only own three outfits and one of them is the hockey uniform" she stated.

"So? It is comfortable. It still fits. It isn't even ragged. It looks nice" Shane countered. Yuna sighed, shaking her head as she crossed her arms over her chest. Shane felt like he and his mother were in a staredown. Normally, he would acquiesce to her, but today he didn't feel like it.

"It does look nice! It would just be a lot better if you wore a different outfit for once. Or even a rotation of outfits. Rose and I were talking and she suggested some-"

"Wait. You and Rose were talking? When? You have her phone number?" Shane asked, surprised. How often did they talk to one another? Was it always about him? That idea felt almost appalling to him.

"Yes, Shane. We talk. Anyway, as I was saying, she picked out some clothes for you to try based on the latest trends. She said they would be comfortable and have good airflow. She said she hung them up in the closet in your room. Why not try one on?" Yuna suggested.

"Mom. I am a grown man, I can wear what I want!" Shane argued, exasperated. He was growing frustrated with her, always inserting herself into everything he did.

"I never said you weren't. I am just trying to help you. I am going to go eat my breakfast by the pool and answer some emails. The Uber will be here in half an hour" Yuna told him, grabbing her plate and heading outside. Shane groaned, rubbing his face. She always did this. Running away from him. He huffed and went back to his room and went to the closet. There was a little note on the door that he hadn't noticed the day before.

"Hi Shane! Your mom, Ilya, and I worked together to pick out some nice outfits for you. Your mom and Ilya even felt samples to make sure the textures were right. Can't wait to see you once I am back in town! XOXO Rose" the note read. Shane placed it on the dresser next to the closet and opened the door. Inside were five complete outfits with a note on each one. Shane sighed and looked at them.

The clothes weren't bad, and it was actually kind of a sweet gesture for them to do that for him. Shane couldn't figure out why he just felt so uptight these last few days. Every little thing had just been pissing him off and he felt more tense than usual- No. Oh no. Shane quickly put down the outfit he had picked up, feeling flustered.

"Fuck off" he whispered to himself as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He was a grown man who was capable of finding ways to relieve stress without having to have his husband... handle him. Besides, if he told Ilya that now after it had only been three days since his missed spanking, he would never be able to live it down. He pushed the idea out of his head and pulled out a different outfit, deciding to wear it instead.

"Oh that looks really nice! How does it feel?" Yuna asked as he slid into the backseat of the uber with her.

"Feels okay. Caught offguard by my shirt not having any buttons" Shane answered. He had on a black sleeved overshirt that opened in the front, with white waves like a painting he had once seen before. He wore a plain white t-shirt underneath that with black jeans and a pair of black and white Reeboks.

"Because it isn't a shirt. It is an informal kimono, kind of like a cardigan, called haori. My older brother had one when we were young and he loved it" Yuna explained. Yuna hardly ever talked about her family. Shane had assumed that his maternal side of the family was unknown until he had a family tree assignment back in his school years. Yuna was the youngest of four siblings, and the only one born in Canada. As far as Shane knew, his aunts and uncle had moved back to Japan after their parents had passed away.

"Rose had found it when in San Francisco. It even has The Great Wave off Kanagawa on it. A nice little touch of our Japanese heritage" Yuna added. Shane felt his teeth grind at that. So that's what this was, just another attempt to market him as the token player of the hockey world. He sat silently for the rest of the ride and after a few moments, he took off the haori and left it on the seat, leaving it behind once he got out for his first interview. Yuna was carrying it, but looked confused.
-----
Shane was exhausted from all the interviews he had done that day when he stepped into Rose Landry's LA home. He had planned to take a nap but instead was pulled into a tight hug by the movie star.

"Shane! Yuna! I am so happy you guys are staying with me while you are in town!" Rose squealed as she hugged him. Shane laughed awkwardly and hugged her back.

"I mean, it's an offer I can't refuse. Better than any hotel we could have booked" Shane said, smiling. Rose laughed happily.

"Well our reservation for dinner is in about an hour and a half. Come help me pick out an outfit?" She asked. Yuna slipped by and went into the kitchen to get herself something to drink. Shane had noticed that she had excused herself from a lot of the production areas during his interviews, citing strong smells or audio feedback. He didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, but focused on his work rather than his surroundings.

"You want my help? You know I suck at fashion."

"Well, not really your help. Just come chat with me while I find an outfit and get ready" Rose answered, taking Shane's hand and dragging him to her bedroom. Her bedroom was huge and for someone who traveled a lot for work, was quite untidy. She had Shane sit on her bed while she went into her walk in closet.

"I promise I am not usually this messy! My house cleaner is on medical leave and I wanted to make sure all the other spaces were clean enough for you and your mom" Rose called from the closet. Shane had already started collecting clothes in the hamper for her.

"It's okay. Thanks for letting us stay, again. I know my mom and I can be a handful sometimes" Shane said. Rose peered out from her closet, glaring at the man.

"Don't you ever say that. I love you and Yuna! Sure, you guys have your quirks, but you guys can't help it. You were born that way" she defended. Shane stopped collecting clothes to look at her.

"What do you mean by that?" He asked, utterly confused. Rose gave him a sympathetic look.

"Oh honey" she replied before going back into the closet. Shane huffed and continued cleaning. Shane had picked up all the clothes and moved to pick up papers and organize them. He stopped as he picked up a photo strip.

"Oh. When did you get these done?" Shane asked. Rose popped her head back out and Shane showed her the photobooth pictures. It was of Svetlana and Rose. The first photo had Rose sitting on Svetlana's lap as they made silly faces. The second was taken as if they were in a professional photoshoot. The third had Svetlana covered in lipstick kisses in the same shade of lipstick that Rose had on. The final picture had Rose also covered in lipstick kisses, the kisses the same dark red shade that Svetlana had on.

"Oh! Well I was in New York doing some work for a movie I am on and we hung out a few times while we were free" Rose said, waving her hand at it. Shane looked at the photos again before giving a small smile.

"I am glad you and Svetlana are such good friends. I was a little worried the first time you two met" Shane stated. Rose chuckled, shaking her head and going back into the closet.

"Can you help zip this top up for me, please?" Svetlana asked. Shsne went in, rolling his eyes.

"My husband wouldn't be pleased with me doing this" Shane joked. Rose laughed at that. Shane went ahead and zipped her up, since it wasn't actually as nefarious as he made it sound.

"You know he wouldn't have cared, right?"

"I know. I just really miss him. Is that weird? I spent years seeing him only a handful of times a year and now I can barely go two days without him."

"Well, I would hope that one day whenever I find the one, they would miss me even if I have only been gone a few hours. That's love right there. I am happy you have that" Rose answered. She grabbed a purse and posed, showing off her outfit for dinner. She had a tight black top that had no sleeves, a flowy white skirt with a slit to the side, and wedges to match. She looked stunning, though when did she ever not look stunning? Even her straight out of bed look was more glamorous than Shane had ever known was possible.

"You think so?" Shane asked weakly, his eyes falling to the ground. "I don't seem clingy? Or needy?"

Rose didn't give a verbal answer. Instead, she whipped her phone out and was calling someone. Great. He was so needy that his friend was actively annoyed with him for being so needy and-

"Svetlana, put the husband on the phone. Shane needs a little reassurance so he can quit moping before we go to dinner" Rose said, snapping Shane out of his train of thought. Shane blushed and turned to his supposed friend, now feeling betrayed. She turned the phone around to him and was immediately greeted by Ilya, who was in their hot tub.

"Взгляд сердитого котёнка. Обожаю, когда у тебя такое выражение лица. What is wrong, Shane?" Ilya asked, his curls falling into his face. Shane sighed and looked away.

"He thinks he is too clingy."

"Rose!"

"What? Better to get the answer from the person you really need it from than me. I'm going to go do my makeup, I'll leave you boys to chat" Rose said. She waved into the camera and left the walk in closet. Shane sat down on a padded bench in the room.

"You? Too clingy? If anyone is clingy, it is I. I try to touch you in some little way, skin to skin contact. Even if you are near, if I can't lace my fingers with yours or hold you, I feel like I am going to die. It is very hard for me to be in Canada while you are in America. Svetlana stopped me from buying plane tickets this morning. You could never be too clingy for me. I want to give you anything and everything you want or need. Do you want us to come to you?" Ilya told him. Shane felt his eyes gloss over, but knew that no tears would fall.

"What did I do to deserve you?" Shane asked quietly.

"By being yourself, Shane Hollander. Now no more tears, Моя радость. Go have fun and send me lots of sexy pictures" Ilya ordered. He blew a kiss into the phone and Shane accepted it, feeling silly but loved. He then hung up and brought the phone out to Rose, who was contouring her face.

"How come you aren't wearing the haori I paired with that outfit?" She asked as she blended her makeup. Shane gave a small shrug.

"It just felt weird" he answered, technically not lying. Rose seemed to accept the answer, moving on to talk about the next topic of interest.
-----
Friday had come a lot slower than Shane would have liked, but at least he only had one more day here and would be flying back overnight to Ottawa. To his husband. Without having to spend nearly every waking moment with his mom.

Shane was having a hard time being patient with Yuna. It seemed like everything she did was just to bother him. When she wasn't talking about brand work or hockey, it was about his friends and his husband. She spoke as if they were her friends, which grinded away at Shane. Or how she mimicked all of the directors or producers or whoever was in charge. She also practically babied him in front of all these important people, asking for things on his behalf and answering questions directed at him. The worst thing was this afternoon when they had been served white rice instead of the brown rice they had ordered.

"Excuse me, we ordered brown rice, not white rice."

"Yes, but we have ran out of brown rice and substituted white rice instead."

"And no one thought to tell us? We had been expecting brown rice with our meal and instead we are served with white rice" Yuna pointed out. Shane hid his face, feeling really embarrassed that his mom was doing this right now.

"Mom, it's fine" Shane said meekly.

"No, it isn't fine! Brown rice is higher in fiber, magnesium, B vitamins, iron, and potassium than white rice is. White rice is also processed while brown rice is natural" she spat out. She was visibly shaking and her eyes were watery as she talked. She then stood up, making direct eye contact with the waiter.

"You can take the food back, we will no longer be eating here. Come on, Shane, let's go" Yuna firmly stated, grabbing her purse and striding out the door. Shane felt his face burning, dozens of eyes were on him.

"Sorry. Here's a hundred. Keep the change" Shane said, pulling out some cash from his wallet and quickly going to follow his mom. After they had finally gotten some lunch, she had claimed she was tired and needed a rest, so they returned to Rose's house.

"Shane, what are you doing tonight?" Rose asked, looking up from her phone. Shane had been reading in the armchair, his feet curled up underneath him. He looked over to her on the couch, pushing his glasses up.

"Uh, Scott Hunter invited me to this thing with Nike, but I can probably skip if you wanted to do something else" he answered. Rose gasped, sitting up.

"No way! I am going to that event too! I was actually about to ask if you wanted to come with. Thought it would be awkward for me to not invite you to an event made for queer athletes. They sometimes call up random celebs to hang out at their events because otherwise they have to use influencers. But the swag bags are always top tier. And I got to meet Michael Jordan at one of the events" Rose said, overjoyed.

"Oh cool. Well, I guess we can go together. At least then I don't have to cling to Scott Hunter all night" Shane said, smiling.

"Okay, but can I suggest which outfit to wear? Please? Pretty please? And maybe a little bit of makeup?" Rose begged, giving puppy dog eyes. Shane laughed and rolled his eyes.

"Fine. Just don't go overboard on the makeup please. I let the Pike Twins do it once and Ilya gave me a drag name" Shane said. Rose clapped her hands together and stood up. She then grabbed him by the hand, leading him down to his guest room.
-----
"Hey, Hollander! You made it!" Scott called out once he had saw Shane nearby. He was surrounded by a few people, having clearly been in mid conversation. Shane had been at the party for an hour already. Rose had disappeared from his side once he got into a conversation with an ice skater he had talked to at the Sochi Olympics, Yuuri Katsuki, and his husband. Apparently, the figure skater had also married a playful Russian from the same sport as him and had a dog together. They had exchanged contacts so they could send each other dog pictures and possibly hang out in the future.

"Well, I couldn't let our husbands be the only ones to hang out. Though, I think Ilya was more of a pest than anything else" Shane said as he approached. Scott had pulled him into a side hug, which Shane awkwardly returned. Since Shane and Ilya had married, Scott had become a lot friendlier with the Canadian.

"Oh my gosh, Shaney?!" The woman in the small group asked. Shane turned her and recognized her, but couldn't remember who she was.

"You know this guy?" The grumpy looking man asked, his British accent thick. The woman had her arms wrapped around his and another, younger man's arm.

"Yeah! We had a photoshoot for this fashion company years ago. We were just babes back then. It's Keeley Jones, you remember me?" The woman asked. Shane's eyes widened, remembering back to after his rookie year, being in London and doing the Valencio Pocaterra shoot. He had felt embarrassed to be posed so provocatively with a woman in nothing but his underwear, but she was kind and made him laugh.

"Yeah! How are you? I didn't realize you played sports too" Shane asked awkwardly. The woman laughed as if he was joking.

"I'm not, but my boyfriends are! The whole team is sponsored by Nike" she said. Shane looked confused for a bit, looking at the two men.

"Polyamorous relationship. All three are dating each other" Scott quietly explained to him. Shane nodded, he hadn't thought about that kind of relationship before.

"Before I interrupted him, Roy Kent was telling me about the balance it takes to be in a relationship with a player as their coach and how they try to have a work and personal dynamic" Scott said, offering an apologetic smile to the grumpy man.

"Oh! I can sort of relate" Shane said, turning to him.

"Right. I think I read about you and your husband on ESPN. How does that work out?" Roy asked. Shane noticed that the man was unflinching as his girlfriend and boyfriend were trying to get handsy with him to get a rise out of him. Shane blushed and looked away.

"It's got it's challenges. I'm just lucky the team is really accepting and open minded. I try to keep professional but Ilya likes to blur the lines. I'm just glad we don't have to be kept a secret anymore" Shane answered honestly.

"Wait, your husband is Ilya? As in Ilya Rozanov? Me and the boys love watching his mic'd up vids on YouTube! We tried to get some ourselves but a certain little baby cunt said we couldn't" the younger man said, shooting a glare at Roy.

"Oi! I said no because you fucking muppets have a hard time paying attention on the pitch as is. Maybe if you all started taking Adderall and did better out in the footie, we could talk about doing things like that" Roy countered. He then turned to Scott and Shane, who both equally felt embarrassed watching this unfold.

"It was nice talking to you both. It seems Tartt needs to tell me something privately" Roy said, finally grabbing at both of his partner's hands, which had still been trying to feel him up in front of the hockey players. He then dragged them off, both of the partners seemed thrilled to go somewhere more private.

"Do you think they are-"

"Yep" Scott answered quickly, his face a little flushed as he sipped on his drink. Shane held his ginger ale tightly in his hands.

"So what are you doing in Los Angeles? I figured with how close the hockey camp is, you would be preparing up in Ottawa for it" Scott asked.

"My mom booked all of my brand commitments and interviews during this week, so we are here doing all that before hand. My mom had apparently been running around like a headless chicken this last month making sure everything for the camp was settled" Shane answered. Scotr nodded, smiling.

"I've talked to her at a few of your home games. Nice lady. It must be nice being so close to your mom" Scott said. Without thinking, Shane scoffed before taking a drink from his ginger ale. Scott quirked up an eyebrow at that.

"She is smothering me. This whole week has been one long torture as she bothers me about anything and everything under the sun. I love her but she is so annoying sometimes" Shane told him. Normally, he would never say anything like that about his mom. However, the built up tension and his frustration just kept growing and growing with every little thing she was doing lately.

"Have you tried telling her that?" Scott asked simply. Shane paused. He had never told his mom anything like that his whole life. He had been afraid to. He had always hated the idea of disappointing her and he felt that crossed into that category. How would he even go about it in a way that wouldn't?

"You should, kid. A little distance can be good, but letting this boil over will just create more diatance that neither of you probably want. I would give anything to be in your situation right now" Scott said. His eyes looked a little misty as he downed the rest of his drink. Shane stared at the ground, feeling a little ashamed. He had forgotten that the older man was an orphan. He felt like a total asshole now.

"I don't say that to make you feel bad, Hollander. I say that so you can be thankful. Why don't we get drinks and you can tell me about this extra hockey camp? I'm not sure if I can make it, but if I can, I'll try to fly Kip out. He needs to get out of the city sometimes" Scott added, giving him a few pats on the back. Shane realized that he had been completely quiet this whole time and nodded.

"Yeah, I get that. The first time Ilya came to the cottage, I realized he had never stayed in a rural area before" Shane added. Scott laughed as they headed over to the open bar. Maybe he was right, Shane just needed to talk to his mom.
-----
Shane woke up the next morning, hungover. He had never been hungover before. His head was killing him and he smelled overwhelmingly like alcohol. How the hell did he even get back to Rose's place? Shane opened his eye just enough to see a glass of water and a note. Beside the water was two pills. Shane didn't even have to think about it, he quickly took the pills before reading the note, his head throbbing.

"Good morning, silly! I have never seen you that drunk in my life. On the brightside, you were the life of the party! I am assuming you will have your first hangover, so take these pills and drink all of the water. Sleep in for once, your body will need it. I'll wake you up when breakfast is ready. And take a shower when you can, you reek. Love, Rose Landry" the note said. Shane groaned and looked at the clock. He had overslept his usual time by two hours, but still felt exhausted. He wouldn't get anymore sleep if he still smelled like this.

It was only when Shane climbed into the shower that he realized that he had went to bed in the same outfit that Rose had picked out for him the night before. From the look at the mirror, he also had his makeup still on too, though his eyeliner had ran a bit. Shane sat under the stream of hot water and tried to wash himself thoroughly, even though he was sitting on the tiles and feeling sluggish. When he felt like it was good enough, he stretched and turned the water off. Shane then picked himself up and got out, wrapping himself in a towel.

He didn't bother to do any of his skincare or brush his teeth, he could do that when he woke up again. Instead, he grabbed a pair of clean boxers and put them on. Shane then slide back into the bed, pulling the covers over himself before going right to sleep.

"Rise and shine, sleepyhead!" Rose called out hours later, pulling the curtains back and letting the sun in. Shane groaned and hid his face under his pillow. He felt Rose climb into the bed next to him before throwing his blankets back.

"Rose!" Shane yelped, scrambling to cover himself again. He was hoping that he didn't have a morning erection. As soon as he was at least partly covered, Rose placed a tray on his lap with a spread of food.

"The smoothie has the necessary vitamins to help with a hangover. The water bottle has an electrolyte additive in it and is cherry flavored. Then a bunch of pastries to help some of the alcohol up. And you aren't really supposed to have greasy foods when hungover, but I have a weakness for McDonald's hashbrowns after a long night partying. Even have a guy on speed dial who manages a McDonald's that fries some up for me whenever I need them, no need to make it to 10:30" Rose explained before grabbing another tray and going ham on her first hashbrown. Shane immediately turned to the clock noticing it was nearly noon.

"Fuck. I have a photoshoot at two. Fuck, my mom" Shane said, moving the tray aside to get up. Rose waved a hand at him.

"Relax. She knows you needed some extra sleep. She saw the videos online this morning and said that she was glad you let go for once. Yuna actually said you seemed much more relaxed this year with Ilya than ever before. But she also said you have been soooo tense lately and it worries her. Anywho, she decided to spend the morning shopping and will be back about thirty minutes after noon" Rose rambled. Shane sat back, a worry off of his shoulder. However, it wasn't until his teeth was sunk into a croissant that his brain comprehended the rest of what was said.

"What video?" He asked, feeling humiliated already. Rose whipped out her phone and it was the first thing to pop up on Instagram. The video, posted by E! News, had the caption describing the situation.

"Canada's Golden Boy Shane Hollander corrupted by figure skating power couple, Yuuri Katsuki and Victor Nikiforov at the Nike Be True party last night. We're sure that Hollander's husband, Ilya Rozanov, was jealous he didn't get to see Hollander's insane dance moves that night!" It read. The video started with Yuuri and Shane, both clearly drunk and a bit undressed. They were impressively dancing in sync with one another and the music. Before long, an equally as drunk Victor came in and started dancing with Yuuri. Shane continued to dance and when Rose and Scott tried getting him to leave, he ran and jumped on a table to dance. Shane rubbed his face, feeling a lot warmer than it had been earlier. No wonder his head was killing him still.

"Fuck, Rose. How the fuck am I to show my face out in public again?" Shane asked, putting a pillow against his face.

"I mean, it's pretty tame compared to the first time I got white girl wasted. It took a whole week to get those videos and pictures buried. My agent was PISSED" Rose said. It did help Shane feel a little better at least. He then grabbed his phone from the bedside table.

Shane's eyes widened at all the notifications on his phone. Several texts from different people, all of his social media accounts had people tagging him, and several missed calls from Ilya from the night before. Shane winced and immediately began to call his husband.

"Ah! Мой тусовщик is awake! Maybe we should get you drunk more often" Ilya answered, teasing the hell out of the already embarrassed Canadian. Shane groaned.

"You've seen the video?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

"We talked last night on Facetime, as soon as Rose shoved you into Uber, you finally answered my call" Ilya said, looking rather amused. Rose couldn't help but giggle as she continued with her breakfast.

"Ugh, I am going to die of humiliation" Shane complained.

"It was good. You were cute. Telling me how much you loved me and missed me. Said how you couldn't wait to put your mouth around my massive-"

"Ilya!"

"What? She's already heard you say it! You also said I was right about something, didn't say what. Got distracted when Celine Dion came on radio" Ilya replied. He then tried to mimic Shane singing the chorus to It's All Coming Back to Me Now. Shane winced again.

"Ilya, can you sing quieter? My brain is killing me" he said, groaning. Ilya had a wide, shit eating grin.

"We will definitely get you drunk again this summer" he decided.

"Not happening" Shane muttered, huffing out.

"We can totally get him drunk when Svetlana and I are both at the cottage in August" Rose chimed in. Shane shot an angry glare at her.

"Я скучаю по своему сердитому котёнку. I see you tomorrow morning at airport. I love you" Ilya told him. Shane softened a little. How could he be upset when he missed his husband so much?

"I love you too. See you tomorrow" Shane said before hanging up. He leaned back against the headboard and began to devour his brunch. He and Rose sat quietly as they ate, Rose showing him memes on her phone every now and then. Shane's headache didn't go away, but at least he didn't feel nauseous anymore.

"Shane, are you ready to go?" Yuna asked as she walked into the room, having not knocked. She stopped as she saw him still in bed, eating a blueberry and banana muffin.

"Hi, Mrs. Hollander!" Rose said cheerfully. Yuna did not look cheerful. Her relaxed look had faded and became agitated.

"Hi Rose. Shane. The Uber to your final photoshoot will be here in 20 minutes! You haven't even gotten dressed or ready yet?" She asked, sounding exasperated. Her nagging only made Shane's head hurt more. Rose gave him a sympathetic look and hugged him.

"Bye Shane. I hope you'll stay with me again next time you are in town! Tell Ilya and Svetlana I said hi!" She said before sliding out of bed and giving them privacy. His mom walked over to the closet, opening the double doors and pulling out an outfit set before putting the rest into his luggage. Shane blinked at her and the clothes, which seemed to irritate her.

"Go! Get dressed! We cannot be late, it will put us behind schedule all day!" She fussed at him as she continued to pack. He grabbed his clothes and went into the bathroom, getting ready for the day.

The Uber ride was silent, luckily, as they both sat in the backseat looking out the windows. Shane bounced his leg, trying to distract himself from the headache he had. Yuna sighed deeply after a few minutes, which led to Shane quickly glancing at her and back out of his window.

"Shane, will you stop? You are shaking the whole car and it is driving me nuts" Yuna chided. Shane dramatically did one last one before stopping, huffing. Just a little while longer until they would be on the plane and he would get to see Ilya and all of his problems would go away.

When they arrived, Yuna gave the driver a cash tip as she got out. Shane grabbed their luggage and brought it with as they headed towards rhe building.

"Now Shane, this is a two part process for a magazine that I worked really hard to get you into. The first part is today, where you will be doing a photoshoot for the article they are doing about you. Later on, back in Canada, you will do the interview portion with one of the reporters on Friday, they'll be meeting us at the rink after the hockey camp. This is a really important opportunity for you, Shane, and I hope you take it seriously. You brought your hockey uniform, right? They have shoulder pads and stuff but you brought your jersey and helmet?" Yuna spoke. She held the door open for Shane.

"Yes mom. I'm not a little kid, I have done plenty of articles and photoshoots about myself" Shane said, a little more attitude in his tone than he had meant. Yuna gave him a side eye but they were approached by a shorter woman, eho Shane assumed was the receptionist.

"Hi! You must me Yuna and Shane Hollander! Isomura is so excited to be working with you both this afternoon. When they got the call asking if they wanted to be the one to photograph Shane Hollander for this article, they were ecstatic" the receptionist greeted, offering her hand for them to shake. Yuna shook first, then Shane.

"I'll lead you to the studio now. There is a dressing room to the side. It has most of what you need in there and whenever he is dressed, we will have hair and makeup go in. Isomura said that they plan on doing the hockey shoot first, then the casual wear, and ending with the traditional clothing" The receptionist explained as she started walking down a long hall. They had to get into an elevator and go up several floors before the arrived at the studio.

The studio was mostly an open concept room, but Shane could see a few doors that he assumed lead to smaller rooms. There was a plain white backdrop with lighting all around. The camera was set up at the center of it. To the side, there were two people talking. When they had stepped into the room, they turned to face them.

"Mr. Hollander! It is an absolute honor to meet you! My name is Kayla Isomura and I am the photographer for this session" the shorter person said, walking over to them. They shook his hand with both of theirs.

"Thank you for shooting for me. And please, call me Shane. I take it you're a fan?" Shane asked, trying to keep it light. His head was still pounding, even with the meds he took before.

"Am I that obvious? My family loved watching your games, even though we are Canucks fans. I've even had a chance to see a live game in Ottawa earlier in the season. It was amazing watching you and your husband play together" Kayla said, smiling brightly.

"I appreciate that" Shane said, shoving his hands into his pockets. For being a hockey superstar, he always felt awkward to be the center of attention. It felt like a lot of pressure to be what they want him to be, and with this headache he had right now, he wasn't sure he could be that for them.

"Well we are honored as well! I was able to see The Suitcase Project at the University of Alberta when it was on display earlier this year. It's amazing the work you do for the community and hopefully Shane can inspire even more within the community through this article and photoshoot" Yuna said, her best smile on display. It was the same smile she always had whenever she had to talk to someone professionally. Shane knew the smile was forced, but today it irritated him.

"Let me show you to the dressing room, Shane" Kayla said. They lead the way to the small dressing room. Shane put his luggage down and opened it up to retrieve his jersey stuff. He spotted the shoulder pads and other gear and quickly got changed. Before long, his makeup was done and he was out in front of the camera.

Shane always had trouble tolerating the lights at photoshoots, as well as the noise of the camera and people touching him to get him in the right poses. Today, it was just another thing pushing at the dam of his mind. He had tried to disassociate, but it only lead to more posing touches and his mom telling him to focus.

Shane was nearly at the edge by the time it came to his last outfit change. He unzipped the bag with his last outfit and paused when he saw what was inside. It was a formal kimono, black with red details. He had never seen one in person before, just online. Wasn't this for women? He hesitantly put the clothes on, unsure of what he was doing.

"Ready for makeup?" The makeup artist asked.

"Yeah" Shane said, staring at himself in the mirror. He felt his heart racing. The woman came in and shook her head.

"First time in a kimono?" She asked.

"Is it obvious?" Shane asked, having had to force his voice to work. She came over and began to fix it for him, explaining things as she went. He was then sat down and his hair and makeup were fixed. Before he knew it, he was back in the spotlights again.

"Perfect! It looks just as I hoped. I tried to get them as close to your hockey uniform as possible" Kayla stated, overenthused with it.

"Oh honey, you look amazing! You look so handsome in your kimono. It looks so natural on you" Yuna said. Shane just stood there, his head and his heart pounding.

"Okay, so if we could have you do some of the same poses you did in your hockey outfit with your stick, I think that would be a great start before we move on to more traditional poses" Kayla informed, moving to their camera. Shane didn't move, feeling frozen in place.

"Shane?" Yuna asked after a few moments, looking concerned.

"I can't do this. I'm sorry. I can't do this" Shane blurted out. He turned and started heading back to the dressing room.

"I think he just needs a break, just give us a moment" Yuna excused before following him.

"No. I don't need a break, I am done! Photoshoot over" he declared, his voice louder and sharper than he had planned as he reached the dressing room.

"We'll give you both some space" Kayla said before they and the makeup artist headed towards the elevator. Shane went to slam the door but Yuna caught it, gently closing the door behind her. Shane place both of his palms on the counter, breathing heavily.

"Shane, what's going on? Are you okay?" Yuna asked, reaching to him. He jerked away, looking at her in rage.

"Am I okay? Do I look fucking okay? I am once again being forced into this Token Asian role. I get that I am not like everyone else! But why do we have to advertise the difference all the time? It seems like everytime I talk to you lately, you are trying to shove the fact that I am half Japanese down my throat and telling me that it's my job to represent an entire ethnicity! That everything I do has to be for them, and not just for me! Even when I first got drafted, everyone made me feel like the only reason I made it pro was because I was exotic and not because I have talent! Every brand that I work with uses me as a puppet to say that they are diverse! Am I not good enough as a person? Huh? Is my success worth anything for me or is it just that I am Asian that it is important?" Shane shouted, starting to rip off the kimono. The dam had burst wide open and he couldn't hold it back anymore.

"Shane, I didn't realize-" Yuna had started, but Shane cut her off.

"No! You don't get to speak! Fuck, all you do is belittle me! I am a fucking grown man! I am thirty years old, yet you still treat me like I'm twelve! You are constantly nagging at me like I am disappointing you and nothing I do is good enough! And you never leave me alone! You are at every single practice, every homegame, every team event! That is fucking humiliating! I know my teammates think I am a fucking child because I always have to have my mommy with me! Well, I wish you would leave me alone for once! I get that you are using me to vicariously live your life, but I am fucking sick and tired of it. Get your own life! I am done having to share my friends, my job, my success with you! Get your own damn friends! Get your own damn hobbies! Dad can let you micromanage him but I won't! So fuck off!" Shane exploded. He was out of breath by the time he finished. He looked up at his mother, the anger coursing through his veins. However, it immediately all faded away when he saw her.

Yuna stood there, shaking as she quietly cried. Tears were running down her face, bringing along her now ruined mascara with it. She exhaled sharply, unable to hold her breath anymore. She stared at the floor, unable to bring herself to look at her son.

"I... I'm sorry. I never r-realized you felt that w-way" Yuna apologized, stuttering with the words that Shane could barely hear. She grabbed her luggage and immediately booked it out of the room.

"M-mom wait!" Shane called out. He felt sick to his stomach. He had started to rush after her, but realized he was still in his underwear. He went and threw on his clothes and packed his luggage back up as quickly as possible. He started towards leqving, but his nausea overwhelmed him, so instead he bent over the small trashcan and vomited everything he had for breakfast. He breathed shakily before puking again. It took several minutes for him to stop puking. He was still hyperventilating as he shakily grabbed his phone. He tried calling his mom, but it went straight to voicemail. He then moved to Ilya.

"Ilya. Please pick up. Fuck. Please. I need you" Shane gasped as the phone rang. He sat back against the wall, his thighs hugging the trashcan he had just threw up in.

"Shane! Another call so soon? I am sur-" Ilya said as he answered, he was with Svetlana at what seemed like a diner. He only stopped talking when he got a good look of Shane through the FaceTime call. He quickly stood up and made his way to the bathroom.

"Ilya, I fucked up. I fucked up really badly. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!" Shane spiraled.

"Shane, calm down. What happened? Where is Yuna?" Ilya asked. Shane dry sobbed and hung his head in shame.

"This whole week, Ilya. I was an absolute asshole to her. All week. I was just so overwhelmed and stressed and I missed you and she was adding to it. Fuck, Ilya. She hates me. She fucking hates me. I owe everything to her and I fucking treat her like that?" Shane sobbed. He wished he could cry right now. Instead, he felt himself getting sick all over again.

"Shane. Shane look at me" Ilya commanded. Shane looked up, his eyes focused on Ilya's. Ilya then began to do deep breaths, signaling Shane to do the same. Shane followed the silent orders, breathing in and out. They sat like this for several minutes before Shane felt calmer. He had thrown up once during that time, but Ilya didn't judge him for it.

"Listen to me. You made mistake. She does not hate you. She loves you. She loves you more than anything. She needs space. How are you feeling? Where are you?"

"I'm at this photoshoot dressing room. Can you not see how I am feeling?! I'm a fucking mess! I'm an idiot. And a terrible person. And she won't forgive me and-" Shane started, ranting as his temper started to rise again.

"Now stop that. Lose attitude, Shane Hollander. You are away now, but I can and will spank you when plane lands" Ilya warned, looking very cross with him. Shane stopped, biting his lip.

"I'm sorry" he said quietly. Ilya nodded at him.

"You are frustrated and anxious. But are you calm enough to leave this room? You should go to airport. She will have to fly same flight as you" Ilya asked, softer than before.

"No, sir, I don't think I can" Shane admitted. This was humiliating. He couldn't even control his emotions on his own, he had to have Ilya do it for him. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly.

"I'm sorry" Shane said before biting his lip. Ilya didn't have to put up with him. He shouldn't have to, not when he was like this.

"No, no sorry. I do not need sorry" Ilya told him.

"Yes, you do. I am pathetic. I'm always falling apart and you have to keep putting me together again. Like I'm an alien trying to be human and you are the only reason no one knows how much of a mess I am" Shane mumbled.

"Shane. Shane, listen to me. Is honor to care for you. Not burden. Not to me. I love you. You do same for me, yes? You feel like I am burden?" Ilya asked. Shane opened his eyes wide, shocked he would ask such a thing like that.

"Never! It's not even remotely the same though-"

"Is too. We take care of each other. Here we sit until you calm down, yes? I speak Russian, see if you understand" Ilya told him. Shane nodded softly and held his phone tightly. Ilya began to speak in his native tongue and Shane listened closely.

It wasn't until nearly ten minutes later that Shane walked out of the room. Kayla and the makeup artist stood by the elevator, unsure of what to say. Shane gulped, feeling awkward and embarrassed.

"I am so sorry about earlier. Thank you so much for your work today. I'm sorry I was not a good model" Shane apologized, shuffling as he did.

"It's okay, Shane. Things happen. I'll still be rooting for you next season" Kayla promised. Shane was a little relieved that he hadn't ruined an important connection for his career. He excused himself and left the studio. He ordered an Uber and waited out front. He was worried for his mom, hoping she was at least safe.
-----
Shane was itching to get off the plane. The pilot had announced about ten minutes ago that they were getting ready for landing, so Shane sat on the edge of his seat. He had spent the rest of the day before looking all over for his mother in the airport. When he finally found her on the plane, she had bought a different first class seat, the one that was furthest from Shane's. She had ignored him the entire time, refusing to meet his gaze. Shane hardly got any sleep and he was incredibly tired and sick, checking back to her every so often to see if she was still avoiding him.

When it was finally time to get off the plane, Shane got off and waited for her on the jet bridge. People passed by, giving Shane odd looks, but Shane didn't care. He felt like his whole body was buzzing. Yuna was the last to get off of the plane and she walked straight ahead, not looking up from the floor. Shane frowned and followed behind her five paces.

Waiting for them outside was Ilya and Svetlana. Svetlana glared at Shane as she and Ilya went in for hugs with Yuna. Shane watched as his mom held onto Ilya so tightly. Would she ever hug him like that again? Shane wasn't sure anymore.

"Shane, my love" Ilya said before pulling him into a tight hug. Shane melted into his arms, never wanting to leave from them again. Shane felt his eyes get glassy again, but he couldn't move. When Ilya did eventually separate from him, Shane wanted to cry. Instead, he watched as Ilya put his suitcase into the trunk and held the passenger door for him. Shane slid in quietly. Ilya planted a kiss on his cheek before closing the door and getting into the car.

Shane had expected a silent ride, but Ilya had the radio on, with it playing the chart's top 40 songs of the month. And Svetlana was talking and laughing with his mom in the back. Shane stared at the floorboard. The only reason he was pleasant in the moment was because Ilya held his hand tightly, rubbing his knuckles with his thumb.

"Ilya, you took the wrong exit" Yuna piped up as Ilya turned off of the highway. Ilya shook his head.

"No. You not go home. Svetlana wants spa day. She also needs new outfit before dinner tonight. We have reservation for five to Riviera. You can accompany her, yes?" Ilya explained. Even though he asked a question, it wasn't much of a choice.

"Okay" Yuna said awkwardly. Svetlana smiled and held her hand.

"We can talk about hockey! Ilya's opinions are biased now that he is married" Svetlana said. Ilya gasped dramatically. Yuna laughed, seemingly relaxing. Shane bit his lip as he sat in shame. Ilya brought his hand up and gave it a kiss.

They stopped right out front of Uplivva Sauna and Spa. Ilya got out and held the door open for Yuna and Svetlana to get out. He glanced inside the car at Shane and sighed.

"You have fun. Shane needs rest. We will pick you up for dinner this evening" Ilya said. He then pulled out his wallet and handed his platinum card over to Svetlana, who had her hand waiting happily for it. Ilya waited for them to enter the spa before getting back into the car.

With just the two of them, he turned the radio off completely. Ilya felt like he was drowning in Shane's overwhelming guilt, he could only imagine how his husband felt. Ilya began driving again, knowing that Shane needed him.

"Have you had breakfast?" Ilya asked gently, glancing over. Shane shook his head quietly. He wasn't hungry.

"When did you last eat?" Ilya asked next. Shane had to think about it.

"Brunch with Rose yesterday. When I called you" Shane answered, his voice barely there. Ilya hummed at that. Shane felt the car make a sharp right turn and he looked up.

"Ilya. I am not hungry" Shane stated as they got into the McDonald's drive thru. Ilya shot him a look.

"I didn't ask. You need food. Our normal places aren't quick enough" Ilya informed him, his voice stern. Shane glared at him.

"I don't want fucking McDonald's. I just want to go home" he snapped. Ilya parked the car right in the middle of the line and turned to him, a strict look on his face.

"Drop attitude. You are overwhelmed and tired. I will take care of you soon, Shane. But I need food. And you definitely need food. No need to be brat."

"I'm not being a brat, Ilya, I'm just-"

"You are being brat. Is okay. I know how to stop it. Question is, does brat want spanking now and at home or does he want to listen to his husband and eat the damn McMuffin?" Ilya asked, warning him. Shane gulped. He didn't want to act like this. It was humiliating. He bit down on his lip.

"Can I get a hashbrown too please? Maybe two?" Shane asked meekly. Ilya's stern look softened and became amusement. He kissed his forehead.

"There is my good husband. You seriously want hashbrowns?" He asked, unable to hide his smile. Shane soaked in the smile and the praise, longing for it.

"Rose put me on them" Shane sheepishly answered. Ilya put the car back in drive and moved up in the line. He was relieved to see the Canadian lighten up even just a fraction more than before.

Before Shane even realized, he had a bag sat in his lap. Ilya pulled over and parked in a spot before taking the bag back and handing out food items. He had gotten two Egg McMuffins, two hashbrowns, and the fruit and maple oatmeal for Shane. Shane grabbed the hashbrown and immediately took a bite. If the Shane from two years ago could see him now, he would be highly shocked by the sight before him. However, he felt it was progress. Except for the screaming at his mom.

Shane turned to look at his husband's meal. Ilya had gotten his usual order of a bacon egg and cheese McGriddle, a steak biscuit, a sausage egg and cheese McGriddle, and two hashbrowns of his own. Ilya had already almost finished his first McGriddle while Shane was still working on his hashbrown. Shane didn't understand why they were parked though.

"I want to talk before we go home" Ilya explained, as if reading his mind. Shane stopped mid bite. He put the hashbrown down. Ilya grabbed a shaker bottle and handed it to him.

"Is smoothie. Made sure to use thermal blender" Ilya explained. Shane opened it and drank from it. It didn't help ease him, but it was nice knowing that Ilya made it for him.

"You are holding lot of frustration. Towards your mother, yes, but mostly towards yourself. Tell me why? Please?" Ilya asked, his voice soft. Shane shifted in his seat, uncomfortable with the question. However, he knew better than to make the man ask twice.

"I... I just want to be normal, Ilya. I hate not being able to be normal like everyone else. I hate that I throw fits over fabrics and foods. I hate that I start to shut down when things overwhelm me because everything overwhelms me! I hate that I can't even go two weeks without needing you to spank me so I can finally relieve all the tension and relax! I feel like everyone looks at me and just sees all of my flaws. All of my differences. They see it and they treat me like I'm some kid. Or like a pet. My mom... My mom is just like me. And it frustrates me because why is she okay with it? And why does she play into it and force me to do so too? I just want to be Shane Hollander, hockey player. Not Shane Hollander the Gay Asian and Neurotic Hockey Player!" Shane stated, growing louder and more upset with each sentence. By the end of it, he was panting and shaking. Ilya wiped his hands before taking one and gently caressing Shane's cheek. Shane leaned into it for a moment before pulling away.

"I am a burden." After Shane said that. Ilya immediately turned him to face him, making sure he had eye contact and began to rub his face again.

"Oh Бедняжка. You will never be a burden. Never to me or anyone else. And you are not neurotic. You have odd behaviors, yes, but that is what makes Shane Hollander. No one important thinks of you that way or that you are child. I fell in love with you just as you are. You are perfectly you and as long as I live, I will do my best to make sure you see that too. Have I ever said any of your quirks are burdensome? Do you think my quirks are bothersome? Hm?" Ilya soothed. Shane leaned into his touch, closing his eyes and exhaling.

"No, eyes open. Answer, please" Ilya commanded. Shane whined but opened his eyes. Fuck, his husband was the best in the world.

"No sir. To both questions" Shane answered. Ilya accepted the answer and moved to hold Shane's face in his palm. Shane wished he could be held like this forever, though knew that the hand he snuggled against would be used against him later on.

"As for your mama. You are right, she is very similar to you. You don't actually mean anything you said to her, do you? The hurtful things, at least" Ilya asked, encouraging him to answer by taking his free hand and giving his thigh a squeeze. Shane shuffled and whined again.

"I didn't... I love my mom. I just... I hate seeing myself in her because I only see the things that make me uncomfortable" Shane answered, squeezing his eyes shut. Ilya allowed it.

"You projected. Still, you had every opportunity this week to tell me how you were feeling. I would have flown to Los Angeles to be with you had you communicated your needs. Instead, you bottled up and hurt Yuna and yourself. That is not nice" Ilya reprimanded.

"You are mine. I live to care for you. Sometimes that looks like making smoothies and ordering safe foods. Sometimes you need more, like punishments and reassurance. I love everything I get to do for you, do you understand?" Ilya added. Shane nodded, still working on his breathing.

"Verbal answer please" Ilya demanded.

"Yes sir. I understand" Shane answered. He opened his eyes again to look at his husband. Even when Shane felt like an absolute asshole, his husband looked at him as if he was an angel. It eased some of the stress of the week off of his shoulders.

"Be honest for me, Shane. Did the maintenance help you? I think it did. You seemed more relaxed. You felt like you did better afterwards, yes? Do you still need? Is okay if you do, I want to help you feel good" Ilya asked, softly. Shane thought hard. He wanted everything to be able to tell him he didn't need that from him. However, the kindness and patience that his husband has shown and continued to show made him unable to lie.

"It helped me, sir. I'm sorry I need it" Shane answered.

"No, no sorry. Not for that" Ilya corrected him. Ilya motioned for him to drink more, which Shane did as he was told.

"We are going home now. I will spank you for hurtful outburst and for keeping secrets-"

"I didn't keep a secret!" Shane protested, pulling back.

"Yes, you did. You kept your feelings and needs secret all week. Now can I finish without interruption?" Ilya asked.

"Yes sir."

"Good boy. You will be spanked for hurtful outburst and keeping secrets. We will spend rest of day napping and we will go to your parents about hour before we need to leave so you can talk to your mama. Before bed, we will handle maintenance. Sounds fair?" Ilya asked. Shane felt his heart racing. Two spankings in one day? Could he survive that? He knew Ilya would never push him further than he could take and that he could use the safeword if necessary, but the idea made him anxious.

"Can we... um... Can we maybe hold off on maintenance? We have the hockey camp tomorrow and just the punishment spanking will make it hard, but both will be difficult. Could we maybe hold off until another night? And then go back to regular schedule?" Shane asked.

"Yes, we can do that. Thank you for expressing your concerns and needs, мое сердце. Let's get home and grt this handled, okay?" Ilya asked.

"Okay" Shane responded. He grabbed his hashbrown and began to eat again. Ilya started the car and began to drive, holding Shane's hand in his and using it to help him eat his food. It was silly, but Shane found it endearing.

Shane felt all of the tension return to his body as they pulled into the driveway of their Ottawa home. He felt anxious but relieved at the same time, finally getting the relief he so desperately craved. Ilya got out and immediately went and opened the door for him, offering his hand. Shane took it and got out of the car. The luggage was left abandoned in the trunk, not that either man minded.

"Wait for me in room, yes? Grab hairbrush from nightstand" Ilya ordered as he unlocked the door. Anya rushed out to them, wagging her tail excitedly as she greeted her owners.

"The hairbrush? No, Ilya. Need something worse" Shane argued. Ilya turned to him, his eyebrows raised at him.

"Oh? Since when do you decide how spanking goes? I said hairbrush for reason" Ilya stated, his gentle demeanor now more stern. He knew Shane was just trying to punish himself more, but he wouldn't bite.

"Ilya, I was horrible! The hairbrush won't cut it" Shane shot back, he felt his hands pressing hard into his own skin. Ilya delivered a fast and firm swat to the seat of his pants, causing Shane to jump a little.

"Do you want more now? We can handle attitude before rest of punishment" Ilya warned one last time. Shane gulped, feeling the attitude instantly disappear.

"No sir. I'l listen" Shane said. Ilya motioned for him to go and Shane quickly went after taking off his shoes. Shane always hated the wait before a punishment, but he knew that Anya needed to be settled down and situated before Ilya could give him his undivided attention. Shane entered their bedroom and grabbed the hairbrush from the nightstand before sitting on the bed. Ilya had only used it a handful of times since it had been purchased, but Shane knew that the innocent looking item was a weapon of destruction. Still, he looked at it, unsure if it would actually work like he needed it to.

Shane didn't have to wait terribly long before Ilya entered the room. He closed the door behind him and looked straight at the Canadian, who sat nervously on the bench in front of their bed. Shane stood up immediately, wiping his sweaty hands off on his pants. Ilya gently grabbed ahold of him and sat down, pulling Shane to stand in between his knees. He took the time to slowly pull down Shane's pants, followed by his boxers until both were pooled around his ankles.

"You are very good boy, Shane Hollander. Just made bad choices this week, hm? You know you are good boy?" Ilya coaxed, his hands placed firmly on the shorter man's hips to keep him in position. Shane wanted to look away, but knew that Ilya required eye contact when Shane stood between his knees.

"I just made bad choices" Shane repeated, nodding along. Ilya tutted at that.

"No, I want to hear you say it. Say you are good boy."

"I'm a good boy. I just made bad choices. I am still a good boy" Shane conceded. Ilya kissed his temple as a reward, sending shivers down Shane's spine.

"What bad choices?"

"I said awful, hurtful things to my mom. I didn't share my needs or feelings with you. My attitude over the last week was awful" Shane listed. His sight was now blurry, as tears welled up in his eyes. Ilya hummed, accepting the answer. He wanted nothing more than to pull him into a big hug and kiss him until Shane's eyes went back to normal, but knew this was what his husband needed from him.

"Very good. Good job. Now step out of bottoms and straddle my left knee" Ilya ordered. Shane did so, taking the time to neatly fold his clothes. Shane hated leaving his clothes on the ground, it always ended up frustrating him later on. Ilya never minded, though. Shane put the folded clothing away and then went back to Ilya, straddling and bending over as he was ordered to do.

"Warmup with my hand, then we do rest with hairbrush. Ready?" Ilya asked, tapping his hand against the flesh of the upturned ass in front of him. Shane squirmed slightly, unfamiliar with this position. Ilya held him down with his free hand on the small of Shane's back.

"Yes sir" Shane answered as he grabbed onto the comforter. It ruined how nice and tidy the bed looked, but Shane didn't care at the moment. He had other things to worry about. Ilya rubbed comforting circles into the soft skin, hoping it would help ease his husband into just a little. After a minute, Shane felt the comforting hand disappear, only to reappear a second later, no longer comforting.

Ilya began to swat harshly and unpredictably. Shane always detested this, finding it easier to take his mind off of the punishment when he could follow a pattern. Ilya knew him too well. Ilya's firm hand repeatedly crashed down all over the pinkening rear. Shane gasped and squirmed with each smack, but no tears yet.

"What things did you say that you did not mean to say?" Ilya asked after a minute of spanking, focusing on his sit spots and thighs. Shane groaned and began to squirm harder, but Ilya held him down firmly in place. Shane bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut. He shook his head, he didn't want to repeat the horrible things said.

"Need answer, Shane. We won't move on until you do so" Ilya firmly stated, the smacks to his sensitive sitting areas now hardened andbmorw frequent than before. Shane's breath hitched and he tried to squirm out of Ilya's hold, but Ilya wrapped his arm around his waist and continued. Shane had no choice but to face what he had said.

"I told her- Ow!- that she treated me like a token! Oh fuck! I told her that she had no life! That she- Fuck that hurts!- that she was just using me!" Shane finally answered, letting out an ugly sob with the last confession. Ilya stopped and began to rub the now tender bottom as Shane began to cry earnestly.

"Good boy. I know is hard to admit. You did not mean but they still hurt. You will make up to her, I know this for fact. What is your color, Shane?" Ilya cooed gently as he rubbed. Shane wiped his eyes quickly and furiously, as if that would stop the tears from flowing.

"Green" Shane breathed out after a moment. Ilya nodded, giving a couple taps before grabbing the hairbrush. Shane felt the sleek brush press against his skin. He buried his face, but raised his hips for Ilya. Ilya pushed him back down.

"I know you still feel guilt. I've got you. I'm in charge here, let me take it from you" Ilya murmured softly, using his free hand to rub up and down Shane's back comfortingly. It sent shivers down Shane's spine. He wanted nothing more than for Ilya to take care of him, to help him relax. To help him forgive himself.

"Shit!" Shane yelped out in surprise one the hairbrush connected to the undercurve of his behind. Ilya didn't stop with just that one, peppering the already sore ass with the wooden tool.

"You are good boy, Shane Hollander. Say it" Ilya ordered, not slowing down as he did. Shane let out a raspy breath as he cried. He was still too tense for Ilya's liking.

"I'm a good boy!"

"And that you are loved."

"I am loved!"

"And that you are do not have to be anyone else. Just you" Ilya ordered, enunciating each word with a thud from the hairbrush. Shane didn't repeat it, letting the only sounds be the strokes of the hairbrush connecting to his backside and the desperate cries come.

"Shane..." Ilya asked, pausing. Shane's breath hitched before he let out a wet sob.

"What if it is too hard to be me?" Shane asked quietly. Ilya sat the brush down on Shane's back and turned his face to look at him. Shane knew he looked awful, but he knew he needed whatever Ilya was about to say.

"Then you keep trying. You do not have to change who you are. Just accept things. As long as you are good, and you are, there is no need to change for others to like you. The world can learn to be more accepting, just like you can, yes?" Ilya asked. He caressed Shane's cheek again with the back of his hand, attemtping to wipe some of the tears pouring down his face. Shane was less tense, but not where he needed to be. Ilya had an idea in mind.

"Y-yes sir" Shane cried. He hadn't ever thought about it like that. His whole life, he felt he had to bury the things that made him different so he could be accepted. To the point that it made him internalize all the terrible things people said. Never once did he think that maybe he wasn't the problem, nor his mom, it was just society. The moment Ilya let go of his face, Shane buried his face.

"Say it so we can continue, моя любовь" Ilya reminded him softly. Shane took a deep breath before following the order.

"I don't have to be anyone else, just me."

"Good boy. Now spread legs, let's finish this so we can snuggle and nap" Ilya stated. Shane was confused, but did as he was told. Shane didn't understand why he had to spread, but quickly found out when the first thwack of the hairbrush landed on his left inner thigh.

"Fuck! Ilya!" Shane wailed, arching his back as he bucked up. Ilya continued as he focused solely on the left side. Shane hadn't said their safeword, which meant that Ilya was in the clear. It also helped that Shane sobbed and bucked, knowing that he would soon finally release all of the stress he had bottled up.

Ilya didn't go as hard on the inner thighs as he did the rest of the spanked areas, wanting to not accidentally hurt him. By the time Ilya was halfway done with the right side, Shane melted over his knee. He was reduced to a blubbering puddle of tears unable to think of anything but the aching pain of his backside and inner thighs. Ilya quickly finished by evening the color out before throwing the hairbrush aside and immediately scooping the vulnerable man up and into the bed with him. Shane heaved as he continued to sob as Ilya held him close.

"You did excellent, Shane. You were very brave. Good boy. I am very proud of my husband. I love you" Ilya repeated over and over to Shane as he rubbed circles into his back and ran fingers through his hair. He switched between saying the words in English and in Russian, but Shane didn't notice. He felt himself feeling much lighter than before and it was a wonderful feeling. He simply just existed here in Ilya's arms.

"Shane? Are you with me, my love?" Ilya asked after Shane had finally regulated his breathing. It had taken a while for him to do so, but now the usually tense man felt like mush on his chest.

"Hmm" Shane answered, resting his cheek on Ilya's chest. He felt safe right here in this moment, that the only thing that mattered at this moment was how Ilya was so strong for him. Ilya kissed him all over his face, ending with his lips.

"Feel better?"

"Yes."

"Do you want Snickers? Maybe some water before nap?" Ilya suggested. Shane nodded happily. Ilya wiggled over just a bit to get the water bottle and chocolate bar he had brought in with him earlier. When Shane was in this mindset, it was far easier to convince him to do things like eat a treat or rest. Shane whined until Ilya settled again, opening the bottle and helping Shane drink. When Shane finished, Ilya also took a large chug from the bottle and quickly closed it, flipping it and landing it on the table. Ilya silently cheered for himself, having practiced so hard to make sure that he could do it right every time. He then opened the candy bar for him and Shane happily began to eat.

"We will nap for a while, but then we will need to get cleaned up and go to your parent's home before our reservation. Is okay?" Ilya asked. Shane nodded, taking a rather large bite from his guilty pleasure treat. Ilya would buy the man an infinite amount of Snickers if it would make Shane as relaxed as he was now. Instead, he settled with holding his dear husband close.

"I love you, Ilya" Shane said instead once he finished his treat. He yawned and curled up against his husband. Ilya just kissed his nose.

"I love you too" he said before closing his own eyes. He let his breathing be the model for Shane's, helping him slow his breathing down enough to fall trap to sleep.
-----
"What if we just turned around? I just realized I left my phone and my wallet at home" Shane asked, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. It was now late afternoon and it was a couple of hours before their reservation for dinner. Ilya quirked an eyebrow at his husband, slightly amused but tried to be stern.

"I brought them both, are in my pockets with mine. Besides, we are in driveway" Ilya said. As if on cue, he pulled into the curved driveway and parked the car. He had been very patient with Shane as he grew more and more anxious as the reality of having to make amends came closer. He drove Shane's Land Rover at a legal speed and even only played instrumental music! Still, Shane was anxious. He had expected the worst outcomes and was deadset on believing those were the only things that could happen tonight.

"Shane... I know this is not what you want to hear now, but I think you need to see a therapist" Ilya stated. Shane quickly turned to his husband, unsure of where this was coming from all of a sudden.

"Did I do something wrong? Why would you say that?" Shane asked, squirming uncomfortably for more than one reason. Ilya rubbed the knuckles on his hand soothingly with his thumbs while they spoke.

"You did nothing wrong! You... you have things in your head I can't help with. I am not saying I do not want to help you! But some things only therapist can help with. I see Dr. Molchalina, yes? It doesn't mean you do not help me, it's just she helps me too. I know it is scary idea, but you should consider it. Please?" Ilya said. Shane hesitated, unsure of what to say. He never thought that something was wrong with Ilya for him to see a therapist, but why was it so hard for him to allow himself to see one? Shane took a deep exhale and nodded.

"I will consider it" Shane promised. Ilya pulled him into kiss.

"You are brave, Shane Hollander. Now come on" Ilya said. He released his hands temporarily to get out of the car, but immediately came to open the door for him and offered it back. Shane accepted it. Shane followed Ilya into his childhood home, only to be stopped in the entryway.

"Breathe" Ilya instructed. Shane hadn't realized he was holding his breath, so he took a deep breath in and tried to work on his box breathing.

"Shane? Ilya? Is that you guys?" David called out before stepping into the entryway. He hugged both of the men before leading them into the kitchen, where Svetlana stood with a glass of wine. She and David had been talking casually about the day's Wordle.

"Shane, your mother is out in the garden. Bring her some sparkling water, please" David said. He went to the fridge and grabbed a can of Clearly Canadian and a can of Canada Dry, handing them both over to his son. Ilya gave him a kiss on his temple before giving him a light shove towards the the back door. Shane took a deep breath and headed out.

Yuna sat quietly in a metal rocking chair by the fire pit in her garden. It was unlit, but Yuna stared into it. She saw Shane approach gingerly, holding out a sparkling water for her.

"Can I sit?" Shane asked, motioning to the empty rocking chair next to hers. Yuna shrugged apathetically as she took the drink. Shane quietly sat down, trying not to react to the ache in his rear.

"Mom... I'm sorry. I said horrible things to you that I didn't mean" Shane apologized, staring at the firepit too.

"You meant some of them. And I don't blame you. I'm sorry too" Yuna replied, rubbing her can with her thumb.

"You're sorry? For what? I was the one who blew up" Shane said, turning to her. Yuna turned to him, but couldn't bring herself to keep eye contact as she would have normally.

"Since you were little, my whole life revolved around you. Your father and I wanted a family, so when I had you, I quit my job with the Bank of Canada to be able to raise our children and take care of our home. We never had another child, so all of my attention went to you. Even with all of your meltdowns and challenges when you were young, you were my everything. When you got into Timbits, I became obsessed with making sure you were the best one out there. I only got worse when you got older, since I started managing your branding and influencing your career. I didn't realize how much I had involved myself until you snapped" Yuna admitted. She sniffled and Shane realized she had started to cry.

"Mom, no. I was being an asshole. You have helped me a lot. I wouldn't be nearly as successful if it weren't for you" Shane said. Yuna gave him a small smile, offering her hand. Shane took it and squeezed it.

"I know I am overbearing. You do not have to soothe me on that. I will try to work on slowing down. Maybe not come to your practices anymore and slow down on team events" she said.

"I am pretty sure the guys would kill me if you didn't come by practice sometimes. But I appreciate it. Most of what I said though, Mom... it was just how I felt about myself. About things we have in common. Sometimes I feel like people don't respect me like they would any of thr other guys. I'm gay, which in this team is okay but in a lot of other teams it isn't and I still hear homophobic stuff on the ice. Or that I am peculiar about everything. Like how my wet food and dry foods can't touch. Or how I can't deviate from my routine without it fucking with my whole day. Or even how fucking awkward I am around everyone else. I feel like if I was normal, I wouldn't have to keep trying to prove to everyone how good I am. They would just see it. And... sometimes I feel that if I wasn't Asian, I wouldn't have to prove myself either" Shane admitted. He looked away in shame, but felt his mom's hand squeezing his tightly.

"Oh Shane..."

"I know, Mom. I'm sorry" Shane said, biting his lip. Yuna stood up from her seat and gave him a tight hug before squating beside him.

"I ws born in Montreal, just a few months after my family had emigrated here. My sisters and brother remembered what Japan was like, that was there home. Canada... Canada was harsh to Japanese people. During World War II, Japanese Canadians were put into internment camps and forced to give up their lives over irrational fears of us being spies for Japan. Even before that, Japanese Canadians faced so much racism and hostility from the citizens here. It hadn't even been 20 years since then when my family came. My parents forced my siblings to act Canadian. I was never even taught how to speak Japanese, I only know a few phrases that I have heard enough to memorize. But... I began to internalize a lot of the things people said. I tried my best to prove that I was just as Canadian as anyone else, which made my parents proud. But it hurt my siblings. So I never cared to learn about my heritage. And when raising you, your dad tried suggesting that maybe I try to incorporate some of my family traditions in. But I saw how those other boys treated you. And how they treated the other boy. So I did what I knew worked for me for you, pretended that part didn't exist. I didn't really have to acknowledge it much until you got older and you were breaking all sorts of barriers. You were better than some of the pros as a junior and we didn't look like them. So, I milked in it a little for you, never realizing how uncomfortable it made you. Or how it made you feel less than rather than more like I had thought. It wasn't until you joined the Centaurs and being yourself freely, did I realize that I spent so much of my life repressing myself to fit into society. So I started experimenting. With the food fusions. And the clothing. Heck, I even watch J- Dramas with your father, though between you and I, I think he likes them more than I do. And I wanted you to share in what I was experiencing and didn't even ask if that is what you wanted" she explained. Shane sat silently, soaking all of that info in. He had suddenly realized that she was saying exactly what he had felt.

"Maybe... Maybe this is something we can do together? That isn't hockey related. We can see who learns Japanese the fastest" Shane suggested, giving a light joke at the end. Yuna gave him a real smile at that.

"Do you mean it? You actually want to try with me?" She asked.

"Of course. I love you, Mom. This is important to you and it can help us" Shane answered honestly. Yuna hugged him again tightly and this time, Shane allowed himself to hug her back just as tight.

"I love you, Shane. You are a good son" she told him. Shane smiled at her, softly at first but then impish, just like he learned from Ilya.

"You won't be saying that when I kick your ass in Yahtzee. I'm sure we have time for one quick game before we have to go" Shane said. Yuna quickly stood up, looking determined.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it. You wish you were as good at Yahtzee as me" Yuna retorted. Shane stuck his tongue out and then quickly got up and dashed to get inside. Yuna ran after him, laughing as she chased after him. Ilya watched from the window, smiling. Things would be alright after all.