Chapter Text
Player created a group chat
Player renamed the group chat to “Tell Them You Lov Them”
Player added Skateboard, Finn and 3 more
Tell Them You Lov Them
Player: so
Player: hi
Player: okay I made this for a reason
Player: don't freak out ( •̀ ω •́ )✧
Skateboard: bro WHO are you
Skateboard: how do you have my number
Rocket: SAME QUESTION ACTUALLY
Rocket: half of you have weird names like who is finn💔
Finn: EXCUSE ME. I am THE Finn McCool and I do not just give my contact information to strangers. whoever added me here has approximately ten seconds to explain themselves before I leave
Split: oh hello!! I'm not sure how I got here but hello everyone :)
Split: is this a game? are we doing a thing?
null: we have been added to a group conversation without our consent. we find this mildly irritating.
null: we will observe for now.
Player: okay great everyone's here
Player: before I explain anything can everyone just. introduce themselves 🙏
Finn: fine. I am Finn McCool. I am extremely cool and I was in the middle of something important when I was added to this gc so this better be worth my time.
Skateboard: uh. I'm Skateboard. I skate.
Rocket: Rocket
Split: I'm Split :) I'm from the Regretevator! it's an elevator. I know that sounds strange. NULL is also from there! :^3
null: we are NULL. we are a helperbot operating on a hivemind frequency. we use the pronoun "we." we are here for observational purposes only.
Player: okay cool. I'm Player. I'm the one who made this gc and I'll explain why in a second
Finn: you could have introduced yourself FIRST since you're the one who called this meeting
Player: I wanted to hear everyone else first
Finn: why
Player: reasons
Rocket: that's so suspicious
Skateboard: extremely suspicious
Player: it's NOT suspicious I just
Player: okay look
Player: I made this gc because we are ALL in the same situation
Player: we all like someone and none of us are doing anything about it
Player: so we are going to help each other
Finn: bold assumption. I don't know any of you
Rocket: wait how do you know we all like someone
Player: call it a hunch
null: that is not a satisfying answer.
Player: it's the one you're getting (●'◡'●)
Skateboard: okay but like. why would I tell a stranger who I like
Split: I don't mind sharing :) her name is Bive and she's wonderful and I think about her a lot and sometimes I don't know what to say around her which is unusual for me because I usually always know what to say
Split: sorry was that too much
Player: NO Split you're doing amazing actually
Rocket: that was very brave Split
Split: thank you :)
null: we do not have such a person.
Player: mhm
null: we are stating a fact.
Player: totally
null: we do not appreciate your tone.
Player: what tone. I didn't say anything.
null: your silence was extremely loud.
Skateboard: LMAO
Finn: okay fine. for the sake of argument. hypothetically. if I did have a person. which I am not confirming. what would this gc even do about it.
Player: we help each other figure out how to confess
Player: wingmen all of us for each other
Rocket: ohhhh
Rocket: okay that's actually kind of a good idea
Skateboard: it's not bad
Finn: ...I will observe. as a completely disinterested third party
null: we will also observe. for research purposes.
Player: great. so everyone's in.
Finn: I said OBSERVE
Player: great!!
Rocket: this is already the best gc I've ever been in
Skateboard: rocket you've never been in a gc
Rocket: and it's the best one
Skateboard: okay I'll say mine if rocket says his
Rocket: deal
Skateboard: okay so. there's this guy. he runs a café called Thieves Rest. his name is Slingshot.
I go there a lot.
Rocket: how often is a lot..?
Skateboard: .
Skateboard: every day
Rocket: skateboard
Skateboard: I like the atmosphere
Rocket: you don't drink coffee
Skateboard: THE ATMOSPHERE ROCKET
Finn: you go every single day for the atmosphere
Skateboard: yes
null: that is statistically unlikely to be about the atmosphere.
Skateboard: okay ROCKET YOUR TURN
Rocket: okay okay okay
Rocket: it's Sword.
Skateboard: ROCKET
Rocket: WHAT
Skateboard: SWORD IS YOUR BEST FRIEND
Rocket: I KNOW THAT DUMBASS
Skateboard: how long
Rocket: ...a while
Rocket: a long while
Rocket: don't make it weird
Finn: so let me understand this.
Finn: Skateboard goes to a café every day for the "atmosphere."
Finn: and Rocket is in love with his best friend.
Rocket: I didn't say in love
Finn: you didn't NOT say it
null: the situations are all statistically quite dire.
Player: Null don't be mean
null: we are being accurate. there is a difference.
Split: I think we're all going to be okay :) we have each other now right?
Player: exactly. that's literally why I made this gc.
Rocket: okay but YOU still haven't said who you like
Player: I'm running the gc I don't have to share
Rocket: THAT'S NOT FAIR
Skateboard: genuinely not fair at all
Split: I think it's only fair :)
null: we agree. transparency benefits the group dynamic.
Player: ...
Player: fine
Player: his name is Griefer and he's annoying and I don't want to talk about it moving on
Finn: GRIEFER?? Brad Thaniyel??
Player: I said moving on Finn
Finn: Player that man called you a monster for trying to get the sword💔💔🥀🥀
Player: I KNOW
Finn: and you LIKE him
Player: I said what I said
Split: I think it's very brave to like someone complicated :) Bive is a lot sometimes but she's wonderful <3
Player: thank you Split
Player: see Finn. Split gets it.
Finn: I wasn't judging I was just surprised
null: you were judging.
Finn: null we just met💔
null: and yet.
Skateboard: okayyyy fineeeee. I'm in.
Rocket: me too
Finn: I maintain that I am here as a disinterested observer. but I suppose I can offer advice
Player: why was that so formal💔
null: we will remain. for observational purposes.
Player: great. this is going to go perfectly
Rocket: famous last words
Skateboard: lmaooo
Split: I'm excited :)
null: we have one observation before we proceed.
Player: whatttttt （；´д｀）ゞ
null: the name of this group chat contains a spelling error.
Player: I know.
null: "love" is spelled L-O-V-E.
Player: I KNOW NULL
null: we simply wanted to note it.
Finn: why didn't you fix it before you sent it🥀
Player: I thought it looked fine
Skateboard: u thought "lov" looked fine
Player: moving on
Rocket: HAHAHA
Split: I think it's charming :)
null: ...we suppose it is.
Player changed Skateboard's nickname to "caf3"
Player changed Rocket's nickname to "myhero"
Player changed Finn's nickname to "firstmate"
Player changed Split's nickname to "paranoid"
Player changed null's nickname to "pestsimp"
pestsimp: .
caf3: LMAOOOOO
myhero: PLAYER WHAT
firstmate: okay I will admit this is clever
paranoid: wait why am I paranoid :(
Player: it's a Bive thing don't worry about it 🤷
paranoid: oh that's fair actually :)
myhero: wait why am I myhero
caf3: rocket
myhero: WHAT
caf3: rocket come on
myhero: I don't get it
firstmate: yes you do.
myhero: .
myhero: oh
myhero: OH
myhero: PLAYER
Player: :)
pestsimp: .
Player: Null you've been very quiet
pestsimp: we are thinking.
caf3: uh oh
firstmate: everyone brace yourselves
paranoid: what's happening???
pestsimp gave pestsimp adimin
pestsimp changed Player’s name to “gr13fgf”
pestsimp changed pestsimp’s name to “pr1me”
gr13fgf: wait
caf3: WAIT
myhero: Null did not just hack the gc💀
firstmate: GR13GF??
paranoid: what just happened I'm so confused
gr13fgf: NULL CHANGE IT BACK😭😭😭😭😭
pr1me: we do not know what you are referring to.
gr13fgf: YOU CHANGED MY NICKNAME
pr1me: did we?
gr13fgf: YES
pr1me: we cannot imagine how that happened.
caf3: he's lying so calmly
gr13fgf: CHANGE IT BACK
pr1me: we will consider it.
gr13fgf: NULL
pr1me: the nickname is accurate. we felt that was important.
firstmate: he has a point
gr13fgf: FINN
paranoid: I think it's kind of sweet actually :)
gr13fgf: it is NOT sweet Split it is TARGETED😭
pr1me: everything we do is deliberate.
pr1me: you changed our nickname without our consent.
pr1me: we simply returned the gesture.
gr13fgf: I changed EVERYONES nickname💔
pr1me: and yet only ours referenced a specific individual.
pr1me: we found that interesting.
caf3: NULL IS RIGHT
gr13fgf: okay FINE. but you didn't have to hack the entire gc about it
gr13fgf: could have asked me >:(
pr1me: we did not hack anything. we simply have certain capabilities that others do not.
paranoid: that's what hacking is NULL
pr1me: .
pr1me: we will not be changing the nickname back.
gr13fgf: I figured.
gr13fgf: pestsimp stays too for the record.
pr1me: .
caf3: LMAOOO
paranoid: I'm having a wonderful time :)
pr1me: ...
pr1me: we will allow the nickname to remain.
pr1me: temporarily.
gr13fgf chnaged pr1me’s nickname to “pestsimp“
gr13fgf: cool
pestsimp: do not read into that.
gr13fgf: I'm not.
pestsimp: good.
gr13fgf: :D
pestsimp: stop that.
caf3: are they
caf3: are they becoming friends
myhero: I think they might be
paranoid: :)
firstmate: incredible. I came here as a disinterested observer and I am getting so much more
than I bargained for 🥺
gr13fgf: okay ANYWAY
gr13fgf: welcome to Tell Them You Lov Them
gr13fgf: let's get everyone a confession by end of the month
caf3: bold goal
firstmate: as an observer I think this plan has merit
pestsimp: we will observe the proceedings with great interest.
gr13fgf: great.
gr13fgf: this is going to go perfectly.
myhero: you keep saying that
gr13fgf: and I'll keep being right
pestsimp: statistically unlikely.
gr13fgf: Null I thought we were bonding
pestsimp: we are capable of bonding and being statistically accurate simultaneously.
caf3: okay I lowkirkenuinely love this gc already
paranoid: same :)
myhero: SAME
firstmate: ...same. as an observer
fistmate: obviously