Work Text:
Pomni awakens from her sleep, eager to what was coming.
Today was the day.
The day of payback.
She thought after their big fallout, why not make Jax pay in another way?
The way of marriage.
Not with him and her.
But with Jax and his biggest fear;
Corn.
She springs from her bed, happy as can be and rushes out the door to the breakfast hall.
Hopefully whatever Bubble cooked up today had less love than was legally allowed to give.
As she walks down the corrider, Gangle appears from her room.
"Do you have everything ready?"
"Yep. I already asked Caine and he said we could do it today!"
They both squealed with excitement and continued their path to the dining hall.
Once they arrived, they took a seat and ate away at the very glitchy meal Bubble had 'cooked' for them.
After the rest of the cast had arrived, along with Jax, the room exploded into giggles, the whole group informed of what was about to go down.
...except for Jax.
Just on cue, Caine popped out in from of the table.
He floats in the air, silly expression already on.
"Today we have a requested adventure! I'm sure you're all come to an agreement that you're excited!"
Zooble bursts out laughing, Caine shooting them a confused look.
A portal appeared and Caine pushed them through it roughly.
Ragatha, Pomni, Zooble, and Gangle stand in a room wearing different colored dresses.
"I guess this is happening." Pomni chuckled.
Zooble smirks. "I can't wait to see the stupid look-"
"AHHHHHHHHHHH"
The group once again practically kicks the bucket of giggling.
"Oh my God-" Zooble chokes out.
Ragatha rubs her temples, trying to calm herself down. "Maybe... He just... Got scared?"
"I sure hope so," Pomni lets out.
The girls (and nonbinary) walk out from the dressing room to see, just to put it...
A very startled Jax. Eyeing the corn as if it might eat him if he looks away from it.
The girls (AND NONBINARY) strut confidently into the seats, waiting for the priest to read their 'wedding order of service' booklet.
They notice collectively that Jax had basically succumbed to the event. He just stood there annoyed and scared.
"Today we gather to celebrate-"
Ragatha whispers, "That's not what the book should say..."
Pomni traced back, "Caine's AI, he probably messed it up. It's fine."
Ragatha nodded and they went back to actually paying attention.
"-so final chance, does anybody object? Speak now or forever hold your peace.
Suddenly, Kinger bursts out from the big doors they had came out from a few minutes ago, shouting.
"I OBJECT!"
Everybody gasps.
"CORN!" He sniffles. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?"
Kinger dramatically runs to the pedestal and hugs the piece of corn. At least it wasn't sentient.
After a moment Caine appears and moves Kinger to a seat in the back, probably to deter the noises of his sobbing.
"Anyways... Where were we?" Bubble rolls over in the air. "You may kiss the bride."
Just then, the corn hopped up from it's spot in its tiny corn suit, and kisses Jax on the cheek as all the color drains from his face.
"OMG HE'S THE BRIDE,"
Jax dies inside and falls over to curl up into fetal position and cry.
The fucking corn was sentient,
Ragatha is shocked,
Pomni is absolutely losing it,
Gangle is relaxing and enjoying,
Zooble is feeling victorious,
Kinger is a great actor,
and last and least, Jax is trans fem and may be scarred for life.
"That's what you get!" Pomni says through tears of laughter.