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Shane and Ilya cherished rare moments like this. Stretched out at opposite ends of the sofa, their feet resting against each other’s just to keep some small point of contact, scrolling through their phones in an easy, familiar silence. It hardly ever happened anymore. Not with a toddler tearing through the house from sunrise to sunset.
“Ilya.” Shane groaned.
Instagram reels blared at an unreasonable volume from Ilya’s phone. Shane was far past being tired of asking him to turn it down.
“Shane, you do not understand,” Ilya insisted, eyes wide, “There is a dog playing piano!” He turned the screen toward him.
Shane pushed himself up, squinting at the slightly blurry display, then sank back against the armrest with a scoff.
“That’s AI.”
“Impossible.”
“It’s AI, Ilya. You have got to stop falling for those.”
Ilya frowned at the screen. “No. He is very talented.” he murmured stubbornly.
The comfortable silence – aside from Ilya’s aggressively loud reels – settled back in. Shane gave in and joined in on the doomscrolling, opening YouTube.
Shane swiped up and what popped up next was a family vacation vlog. Shane got one minute in, the video showed two toddlers splashed together in a baby pool while a dad narrated behind the camera. Shane watched, intently. He felt his chest tighten, his heart swelling at the sight of it.
His expression must have shifted, because Ilya glanced over, asking, “What is wrong?”
Shane paused the video. “Nothing.”
Ilya tilted his head and pushed himself onto his elbows, then lunged forward and snatched Shane’s phone.
“Hey!” Shane protested, scrambling after it.
Ilya scanned the screen, brow furrowing. “‘Family & Friends Vacation Vlog.’ Why is it sad?”
“It’s not.” Shane grabbed the phone back.
“You looked sad.”
“I’m not.”
Shane huffed and scrolled to the next video. Ilya set his own phone down.
“You want to go on vacation with Pikes?” he asked casually.
“No!” Shane replied too quickly. “I mean– I don’t know. I wasn’t sad.”
“We can go,” Ilya shrugged. “Somewhere with unlimited drinks so it numbs the pain of being stuck with Hayden Pike.”
Shane rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t want to go with both of you. It’d be like having two extra toddlers.”
“Whatever.” Ilya muttered.
Ilya sometimes felt a twinge of guilt that he and Hayden didn’t get along. Mostly for Shane’s sake. He knew it upset him sometimes. But he also knew Hayden was a dick who was impossible to be around.
Ilya went quiet, turning something over in his mind.
“Maybe… I can try harder.” he said at last.
Shane glanced up. “Try what?”
“Maybe I can try, very hard, to be nice to Hayden.” The words sounded physically painful as he said them.
Shane snorted, “Yeah, because the last one hundred attempts went so well.”
“Yes, but this time I will try harder. Only for you.”
Shane tried to stifle the grin growing on his face, but failed, “Really?”
Ilya threw his head back with a dramatic groan, “Yes.”
Shane wasn’t sure how serious he was. He knew his husband had a compulsive need to antagonize anyone within range, and Hayden Pike was his favorite target.
The last time Ilya had promised to behave, he’d ended the night with a bruised cheekbone after pushing Hayden one step too far. Arguably deserved.
Shane’s phone buzzed.
Hayden Pike
Why the fuck has Rozanov texted me?
Shane looked at Ilya. “What did you text Hayd?”
“Please respect my privacy when texting my best friend.”
Shane scoffed and typed back.
Shane
Saying?
Hayden Pike
hello Hayden. I would ask if you are free tomorrow evening but I do not think you have other friends. come over with Jackie and we are going out. kid free dinner and drinks.
Fucking asshole.
“Dinner and drinks?” Shane asked.
“Mm,” Ilya confirmed. “I texted Yuna. She can watch baby tomorrow.”
“She has been wanting a sleepover with her.”
“I cannot believe I’m willingly hanging out with him,” Ilya muttered. “Thank God Jackie will be there to soften the blow.”
Shane was about to tell him to shut up when Sofiya’s cry rang out from upstairs. Both of them jumped up instinctively.
“She hasn’t cried after a nap for a while.” Shane said, concern in his tone.
“Maybe nightmare. You want me to check?” Ilya asked, already halfway to the stairs.
Shane nodded, grabbing his phone to reply to Hayden.
Shane
See you tomorrow then, bud.
Hayden Pike
Do I have to?
Shane
Yes.
Hayden Pike
Fuck my life.
Bare feet padded down the stairs a minute later. Ilya appeared, carrying Sofiya against his chest, murmuring softly.
“Tell Dada what happened, my angel.” He cooed.
Sofiya rubbed her eyes. “A bad man took Anya.”
Shane crossed the room, reaching out to brush her hair from her face. “Oh, sweetheart. It was just a dream. Anya’s right there, see?”
Anya was curled up on her bed by the fireplace, completely undisturbed.
Sofiya wriggled in Ilya’s arms, signaling to be put down. He complied, bending down to set her gently on the floor, watching as she ran to the dog, tiny feet pattering across the hardwood floor.
Ilya slipped his arms around Shane’s waist, pressing a kiss to his neck. The pair watched as their daughter lay down beside Anya’s bed, stroking her fur and whispering to her.
“How did we get so lucky?” Shane whispered, and Ilya could tell he was fighting the tears in his eyes. He hugged him tighter.
Ilya hugged him tighter. “We are great dads,” He said with a soft smile. “Dog dads and baby dads.”
Shane leaned back into his chest, exhaling. “This is all I need in life. Seriously.”
“Ah, the old man is ready to retire?” Ilya teased.
“Don’t joke about that.”
Ilya smiled, kissing Shane again, “It is all I need too.”
***
“She has her diapers?” Ilya called out, in between dramatic kisses to Sofiya’s cheeks, making her shriek with laughter.
“Yes!” Yuna replied.
“What about her кролик медведь?”
“Bunny Bear is in the back seat with her!”
Ilya leaned down to inspect the teddy tucked beside her car seat. “And her–”
“She has everything, honey.” Yuna assured him, closing the trunk and circling to the driver’s seat.
“Okay. Я тебя люблю, sweet girl.” He cupped Sofiya’s cheek gently.
“A tebeyaa lyublyu, Papa!” she beamed.
“Ya te-bya lyub-lyu,” Ilya corrected playfully, exaggerating each syllable.
She giggled, repeating Ilya, clapping once she got it correct.
“Dada?”
“Dada’s coming. Shout to him.”
“Dada!”
Shane hurried out with her small black overnight bag. “Yes, baby?”
“Ya tebya lyublyu!”
Shane’s entire face softened. “I love you, little one.”
He tossed the bag into the back seat and leaned in to press a kiss to her forehead, lingering there just a second longer than necessary.
“Are you going to be good for Grandma?” Shane asked.
She nodded enthusiastically, grabbing her bunny that was laid next to her and pressing it to her chest.
Ilya and Shane took turns giving her kisses and saying goodbye for the night. They shut the door gently and waved as Yuna reversed out of the drive, the car disappearing onto the road.
“Time for vodka.” Ilya said, turning on his heel to head back into the house.
***
Hollander-Rozanov family❤️
Yuna
Sorry to bother you boys. Sofiya won’t settle. She has a tummy ache and was crying for Anya. Drove back to yours, so be quiet when coming in later.
Ilya
she is okay?
Yuna
Yes. She’s fine.
Ilya
send picture
Yuna
[Picture Attached of Sofiya in pink Bunny pyjama’s, wrapped in a blanket on the large sofa]
Ilya
i’m coming home
Shane
He isn’t.
Yuna
She is fine! Enjoy your night!
Ilya shoved his phone back into his trouser pocket, huffing, a pained look on his face.
“Ilya. She is fine.” Shane reassured.
Ilya kept staring ahead.
When the pair were waiting impatiently for Sofiya to come into the world, spending endless nights imagining their lives with her, Ilya always insisted he would be the cool dad. The laid back one, the one who would play out in the mud with her; but the roles reversed slightly.
Whilst both, as first time dads, overthought everything, worried about her, doted over her, Ilya was just slightly more tense.
He always worried time was going too fast with her, that she was growing too quickly. He cried when she took her first steps, sobbed when she said her first proper word. He wanted to freeze them all in time so they could do this forever.
Shane wondered if it was due to him losing his own father. Wondered if Ilya thought he would go the same way. Ilya would never really talk about it when Shane asked, but sometimes he would catch Ilya spending so much of his time staring at their daughter, he wondered if he was scared he would forget her.
Ilya was staring at the picture Yuna sent, his face tense.
“You know,” Shane said suddenly, jolting Ilya from the spiral “This is developmentally appropriate discomfort. I read that from a Pediatrist’s website the first time she got a tummy ache.”
Ilya blinked at him, “You are so annoying, Hollander.”
Shane kicked Ilya’s foot under the table, making him shriek out.
“You two have been acting like an old married couple since the first time we ever had dinner.” Jackie laughed.
“He drains the youth out of me, that’s why.” Shane scoffed.
A silence hung in the air for a few seconds, as the four of them ate their food.
“Do you guys like water slides?” Ilya blurted out.
Hayden frowned, “What?”
“Shane wants to go on family vacation. All of us. I looked at hotels with water slides.” Ilya shrugged.
“I did not say that!” Shane protested.
“Yes he did. He was watching family vlog and cried.”
“I didn’t cry!”
“Oh, gosh!,” Jackie beamed. “A family vacation together would be amazing.”
“No,” Hayden said flatly. “We already have enough kids. I don’t need Rozanov adding to the chaos. Love you, Shane, but I’ll stick to the already-stressful-enough Pike family vacations.”
Shane’s smile faltered, ever so slightly, but he nodded anyways.
“We are going.” Ilya declared. “Shane really wants to. Next summer, we can go.”
“I love this idea. Hayden, grow up.” Jackie scolded.
Ilya shot a smug grin to Hayden, who rolled his eyes back.
Ilya smiled brightly, “Gives me a year to practice tolerating Hayden.”
“I’m going to punch him.”
“Not again.” Shane sighed.
After dinner, they drifted to a dimly lit bar down the street. Shane and Ilya had been there a few weeks earlier for a date night, when Yuna had taken Sofiya so they could breathe for a few hours. Now, a couple drinks in, alcohol roaring through their veins, the air felt looser.
“Was that the time in Boston or in Montreal?” Jackie asked in between giggles.
“Montreal.” Shane laughed.
“Oh, Ilya. You are insane.”
“You know what I was thinking about the other night?” Hayden began, shifting gears. “How lucky you two were up until… well. I mean– just like, there were so many times where you guys were together in hotel rooms, or whatever… like, Marleau literally was outside your guys’ room and he thought Rozanov was with some girl–“
“Do you think about me and Shane in hotel rooms often, Pike?” Ilya smirked.
“No! Jesus, fuck you,” Hayden spluttered, flushing deeper red. “I’m just saying you guys were lucky to get away with so much.”
“Until you ruined it.” Ilya said mildly, sipping his drink.
“I’ve apologized like fifty times!”
“I am fucking with you. Relax.”
Jackie’s phone buzzed. She glanced down, her smile fading. “Shit. Amber’s throwing up.”
“The sitter can handle it, I’m sure.” Hayden shrugged.
Jackie elbowed him. “You know how she gets when she’s sick. I should go boys, sorry.”
Ilya and Shane protested, Ilya whining and begging her to stay, but Jackie stood, throwing her purse’s strap over her shoulder.
“I think there’s some sorta bug going around.” She groaned, “I’ll call a cab. I’m gonna step outside to call the sitter see what’s going on. You guys behave, okay? Hayden, don’t stay out too late. Love you all!”
“Love you!” Ilya called out as she walked away, then, in a softer voice, “She is seriously the best.”
The three spent the next few hours drinking, reminiscing, bickering, and at one point, thanks to Ilya, doing shots.
Shane watched them carefully. This had been the longest the three of them were in a room, by choice, and it was going well. He knew it was the liquor doing most of the work, but he didn’t care.
He loved Hayden, his best friend. Brother, practically. And he loved Ilya. his husband, his soulmate, the father of his daughter.
All he’d ever wanted was for them to genuinely get along. And tonight, somehow, they were.
“Yuna texted.” Ilya said, grabbing his phone.
Hollander-Rozanov family❤️
Yuna
What time are you both thinking of heading back here?
Ilya
unsure. is all ok?
Yuna
Sofiya isn’t settling. She keeps asking me for you guys. I think maybe time to wrap things up and come home. Sorry boys.
“Everything okay?” Hayden asked Shane.
“Uh, yeah.” He said, “Sofiya’s just upset. Stomach ache.”
“Should we go?” Ilya asked.
Shane hesitated. He didn’t want to ruin how well the night was going so far. Ilya and Hayden were actually getting along, and Shane didn’t want to rock the boat.
“I’ll go.” Shane decided. “I’ll settle her and come back.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
Ilya nodded. “Okay. If it’s just Hayden and me, we will need more shots.”
Hayden exclaimed in agreement, already scrambling towards the bar, reaching for the card in his jean pocket.
“Behave.” Shane murmured, leaning down to kiss Ilya.
Ilya smiled up at him, soft and bright. “Always.”
Outside, the cold bit through Shane’s shirt. He ordered an Uber, shoving his hands into his jacket sleeves for warmth.
The Uber arrived with haste, and made the drive back to Shane and Ilya’s.
Hollander-Rozanov family❤️
Shane
On my way back.
Yuna
Oh, great.
Shane
Still not settled?
Yuna
Nope. Not even Anya is settling her. Poor thing.
Ilya
my poor baby
maybe i should comr
:(
Shane
No. Stay. I won’t be long
David
Do you guys need me over there to help?
Yuna
No. Don’t worry.
Shane
I’m 5 minutes away.
“Uh, forgive me,” the driver said after a long silence. “I’ve spent the first half of the ride trying to work up the courage… but I am a huge fan.”
Shane forced a smile, “Thank you. I appreciate that.”
“I’ve loved hockey my whole life. My dad took me to games. We were massive Metro’s fans.” The driver hesitated. “I hope this isn’t too personal, Mr. Hollander. But when you came out… my dad wasn’t thrilled. And I was still closeted. It felt personal. Then when the world found out about you and Rozanov…”
The driver shook his head. “We argued a lot. I told him I was gay. It didn’t go well. We don’t really talk anymore.”
Shane swallowed, lowering his phone and keeping his full attention on the driver.
“But because of you,” the driver continued, voice steady, “I became comfortable with who I was. I met my husband. So thank you.”
Shane didn’t realize he was tearing up until a tear slid down his cheek. He wiped it quickly.
“That means a lot, really. I hope your dad comes around. If that’s what you want.” he said softly.
The driver smiled in the rearview mirror. “If he doesn’t, I’m still okay. I have my husband. My world’s in color now.”
The car slowed to a stop.
Shane reached forward and shook his hand firmly. “Take care.”
“You too, Mr. Hollander. Have a long, happy life.”
“You too.”
Shane opened the door, swinging both legs out and walking up to the front door. He looked over his shoulder, waving as the Uber disappeared, then opened the door to step inside. The house was warm and quiet.
“Is there a little princess inside here?” Shane called out, crossing the room to where his Mom and daughter were laying on the sofa.
“Dada.” Sofiya cried out.
He crossed the room, leaning over the sofa, brushing the back of his hand across her forehead.
“Should we try sleeping, hmm? I think sleep scares tummy aches away.”
She nodded, arms reaching for him.
Shane lifted her easily with one arm, settling her against his chest as he carried her upstairs, her small fingers twisting into the fabric of his shirt like she never intended to let go.
Shane tucked her into his and Ilya’s bed. They’d been trying to get her used to sleeping in her own room, but when she was sick it felt right to have her there, in their bed cocooned in familiar warmth and the comforting scent of her dads.
He spent the next half hour reading, pausing every other sentence to answer her endless questions about the pictures, the characters, the why of everything. Eventually her voice grew softer, her eyelids heavier, until she finally drifted off.
Shane lingered a while, watching the steady rise and fall of her little chest. He didn’t think he’d ever tire of that sight.
He pulled the door almost closed, leaving a small crack, and headed back downstairs.
“Thanks, Mom,” he sighed.
Yuna smiled up at him. “Don’t even mention it, sweetheart. I’ll take her any day. It’s just a shame she felt so poorly.”
His phone buzzed.
Ilya
i’m miss you
but we are having fun no fight i promise
Shane
Be back soon.
Ilya was clearly drunk, his English taking a backseat.
A small voice floated down from the stairs, “Daddy.”
Both Shane and Yuna looked up. Sofiya stood at the top step, clutching the railing, taking each step carefully and one at a time.
“Oh, baby, we just got you to sleep.”
“Dada, my tummy.” Her voice broke into loud pained sobs. She was usually such a bright, happy little thing. It always weighed heavy on Shane to see her like this.
Shane scooped her up and carried her to the sofa, stretching out beside her while Yuna stroked her hair.
“How about you, me, and Grandma watch a movie,” he said softly, “and we’ll fight the bad tummy ache with some more medicine soon, hm?”
She nodded, still crying, and Shane held her close.
His phone buzzed again.
Ilya
you comign?
Shane
Sof woke up again. She really isn’t feeling well. We should call it a night.
Ilya
no
i can do this for you
i will stay with pike
Shane
Really?
Ilya
yes
we are having fun
Shane
Okay. Don’t be out too late. And don’t get any more drunk.
Ilya
Ok dad
Shane
Gross.
Ilya
i love you
i will do more shot now
Shane rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help smiling.
***
Shane stirred sometime later, half-asleep but aware of something pulling him from it. Voices. The faint jingle of keys. Footsteps.
He blinked at the clock on his phone.
2AM.
Unbelievable.
With a sigh, he slipped out of bed, shoved on his dressing gown, and crept downstairs.
“Pike, give me–”
Ilya and Hayden stood by the front door in the dark, wrestling with a set of keys.
Shane stepped down from the last step, and flicked on the light.
“Motherfucker!” Ilya yelped, then burst into laughter when he spotted him.
“Shane!” Hayden sing-songed.
Shane tightened the belt of his robe and strode over as the two of them dissolved into drunken whispers and giggles. He snatched the keys from Ilya’s hand, locked the door properly, tossing the keys onto the shelf.
“It is two o’clock in the morning,” he snapped, keeping his voice low but sharp. He jabbed a finger at Ilya. “Your daughter is upstairs asleep after throwing up all night.”
“Sorry.” Ilya said, trying, and failing, to suppress a laugh, “We maybe… we got carried away. Maybe.”
“Hey, my fault, bud,” Hayden slurred. “I got us more shots so we could sing karaoke.”
“What song did we sing again?”
“‘Unwritten.’”
“I love this song.”
Shane shushed them fiercely, glaring until they quietened. He pointed to the sofa. The pair obeyed immediately.
“Hayden, I’m not sending you back to Jackie in this state, because she would probably kill you and then me. Go grab a blanket and sleep on the sofa.”
“Aw, man. Not even the guest room?”
“No. I need you both as far away from Sofiya as possible so you don’t wake her.”
Ilya grinned lazily. “I will be up soon, мой жеребец. You are so hot when you’re angry.”
“Eugh. Gross.” Hayden shuddered.
Shane scoffed. “No, you are staying down here too. I’m going back to bed.”
Ilya whined. Shane smacked his arm lightly. “I mean it. If either of you are noisy, I’ll kill you both.”
Hayden nudged Ilya and mimicked Shane’s stern expression. They both dissolved into laughter again, quieter this time.
“Not a peep. Seriously.”
“Can I please come to bed?”
“Absolutely not. Go sleep, Ilya.”
Ilya pouted, then whispered, “Baby, please! I have been waiting all night to touch you!”
Hayden screwed his face up, “Dude! I’m right here!”
The pair headed over to the sofa and practically collapsed onto it. Shane shook his head before heading back upstairs.
By the time he slid back under the covers, his anger had melted into reluctant amusement. This was everything he’d ever wanted. He could still hear their muffled snickering downstairs.
He smiled into the pillow.
***
Shane slowly blinked awake, taking a deep breath and stretching. He turned around to see a peaceful Sofiya fast asleep in their bed. He usually would kiss her forehead before getting up, but he was scared of waking her, especially after how little sleep they both got.
He crept, as carefully as ever, out of bed, adjusting his pyjama pants and tiptoeing out of the room.
He wandered down the stairs to see Ilya and Hayden both fast asleep on each sofa. Ilya lying just in his boxers with one leg hanging off, and Hayden in a hoodie and sweatpants curled in his blanket.
Shane rolled his eyes, walking over to the large windows and pressing the button on the panel to open the blinds.
The sun beamed into the living room, Shane heard a groan escape Ilya, who barely moved.
“Morning.”
Hayden stirred slightly, pulling the blanket over his head, “Go fuck yourself, Hollander. Close them.”
“Oh, what, you guys feeling a little fragile?” Shane cooed, sarcastically, “Yeah, you know who else is? Me. After getting woke up in the middle of the night.”
“Baby, please.” Ilya cried out, “Too bright.”
“What time is it?”
“Ten. Get up. I’m sure Jackie is expecting a call.”
The pair groaned loudly from the sofa, still refusing to move. Shane headed to the kitchen to make some coffee.
“How did we get here?” Hayden yawned.
“Uber. I think.”
“Fuck, I do not remember anything after the karaoke.”
Shane poured the coffee into three mugs, holding them steadily before walking over to the two and setting the cups down on three coasters. He lifted Ilya’s legs, sitting down at the end of the sofa, then placed
his legs back onto his lap.
“You’re both unbelievable. And so lucky you didn’t wake Sofiya. I would have killed you both.”
“How is she?”
“Sleeping still. Don’t bother her, she barely slept.”
“I’ll go see her soon. When the room is spinning less.” Ilya grabbed the mug and took a sip.
“Anyways… good night?”
Hayden sat up slightly, shrugging, “Yeah, it was alright.”
Ilya nodded in agreement.
Shane smiled slightly, “No arguments?”
“Only over what song to sing.”
He chuckled, his heart warming. The three sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes.
“Hey, Shane, next year when we all go away, we were thinking maybe one huge villa somewhere nice. You know, rather than those family resorts?”
Shane looked to Hayden, “Wait, you guys really wanna do it?”
Hayden nodded, “Yeah, sure. I mean, it could be fun– you know, for the kids.”
Ilya smiled, “Yes. Kids would love it.”
Shane smiled widely, nodding in agreement. This was a huge win, but he didn’t want to come off too eager and scare off whatever bond had grown overnight. So he just quietly agreed.
“I am such a good husband. So brave… so selfless,” Ilya sighed, dramatically, “And you too Shane, so kind. So charitable. Nobody else would be able to put up with Hayden Pike like we do.”
There it was.
“Go fuck yourself, Rozanov!”
“No, that is your best friend’s job.”
Hayden scoffed, “You’re fucking gross.”
“Ah, so you are homophobic?”
The living room filled with the sound of the back and forth bickering between the two men. Shane drowned it out, as per usual. Only this time, he knew it was from more of a light hearted place, after their night of bonding. He laughed to himself as the two droned on.
Baby steps, he thought. Baby steps.