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Grace couldn't help it, he's a scientist, he'd never been able to resist the siren call of curiosity, and he knew it was probably personal and Simon was not great with talking about himself at the best of times. But again, scientist! Curiosity!
"Hey Simon, why did you never get any surgery when you transitioned?"
Simon snorted, "As if Eden would waste resources like that."
"Oh. I guess that makes sense, surgical supplies probably needed to be saved for emergencies right?"
"Well yeah, but I meant all of it." Simon gestured to include himself in that all and a look of horror started to dawn on Grace's face. He really hoped he wasn't understanding Simon correctly.
"Simon, they wouldn't have-"
"No it's fine, I was lucky right? When I was, 15? 14? All of us around that age were sent to a class held by the priest to explain our duties to Eden and how soon we would be expected to fulfil those duties and I couldn't face toeing that fucking line anymore. I refused and when he got in my face to rebuke me I broke his jaw.
I guess they figured that violence would be useful to them so instead of being punished, I was allowed to serve my duties to Eden with my brothers. But God doesn't make mistakes and He gave me... that, for a reason and they told me one day I would be ready to serve Eden as God had intended.
I wasn't ready though and that's part of why I fought so fucking hard for them at the start. I didn't want them to think it was time I took my original role."
Grace felt like he was about to throw up.
"Simon, that's horrifying and so messed up. I'm so sorry. You were basically just a kid..."
"That's just how it was. I understood my place."
Simon started to close off, unwilling to examine his formative years any further. He always did when things started down the path of talking about how Eden had failed him just as much as the C.O.I. had.
Grace knew those betrayals hurt him far more than being sentenced to a suicide mission did, so he let Simon stalk off to pave over his feelings with whatever book he was reading currently. Instead Grace pulled up the backup of the project files for the Hail Mary on his computer.
There was no fixing the way either of them had been betrayed, sent to what should have been their respective graves, and Grace felt something shatter inside him at the realisation that the cold denial of Simon's autonomy had started even younger that he had thought. But maybe, just maybe Grace could give Simon back this one tiny thing. Give him a choice that should have been his all along.
"Hey, I'm sorry for bringing up a touchy subject yesterday."
Grace had given Simon space to cool down for the rest of the day and by night time Simon had gone to bed with him and even waited till Grace woke up before getting up, so he'd probably forgiven Grace for making him talk about his past. Perfect timing for Grace to piss him off by making him talk about it more.
Simon rolled his eyes. "I know you by now Ry, you've never met a question you didn't want an answer to in your whole life."
"Yup that's me. So you'll forgive me if I talk about it again? Not the, yknow, stuff about how you grew up but the other bits?"
Simon just cocked his head at him with an expectantly raised eyebrow. Ugh it was a bad idea to push his luck but they were in it now. Why did Grace never know when to shut up.
"So obviously I'm not that kind of doctor but I figured there was no way Eva didn't put protocols in place for anything going wrong during our comas, even though it wasn't enough in the end, and Ilyukhina was always supposed to be on this mission so Armando was programmed to handle all the things that could go wrong with her as well as me and Yao, and they probably would have figured if any cancers showed up surgical removal would be the best bet."
"The point, Ryland?"
"Armando-is-programmed-with-surgery-protocols-for-every-scenario-they-could-think-of-including-hysterectomy-salpingectomy-oophorectomy-and-mastectomy"
Grace spit it out in a rush and chanced a glance at Simon. The other man had frozen.
"Their concern was preventing cancer or infection or organ damage killing us so it doesn't really extend to bottom surgery unfortunately. And I'm not saying you should, I know you've gone through a lot with things changing your body and maybe you just want everything to stay the same or maybe you want to make changes you actually want for once but. I thought you should have the choice. You deserve for it to be your choice."
"I...don't know." Simon's voice cracked slightly and he looked half ready to bolt again.
"That's totally okay, Armando isn't exactly going anywhere. I just wanted you to know that you have those options if you ever want them."
Grace busied himself making breakfast and pointedly didn't look back at the table so Simon could get his composure back. They ate quietly, but at least it seemed like Grace hadn't pushed too far. After they finished cleaning up Simon caught Grace's wrist as he headed for his desk.
"...You're always so sweet to me." Simon mumbled, then quickly pressed a kiss to Grace's knuckles before disappearing outside.
Grace smiled. Yeah, they were going to be okay.