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Within the spacious bedroom, two people slept peacefully beneath the morning light spilling through the curtains. One was a gorgeous man whose golden hair caught the sunlight itself, while beside him lay a ginger-haired woman clinging to his chest as though he were the world’s most comfortable body pillow.
They were comfortably enjoying their sleep.
BRRRRING! BRRRRING!
Well, one of them was anyway, as for the other…
"Garf! It’s time t' wake up Hubby!" The ginger-haired woman abruptly rose from her slumber like a vampire coming out of its coffin, taking the cover with her. "Did ya hear me, Garf! Wake up, wake up!" She repeated, turning to her husband and shaking him out of his great sleep.
"Mhm, leave m' alone woman. 's too early for this shit." He responded, pulling the cover back over himself with a grunt, turning back over to his side of the bed. Truth be told, he didn’t want her to get out of bed either and was more than content with holding her. He’d be damned if he ever said that out loud though.
"What? But yer the one who set that alarm, ya know!" She responded with a pout, still trying to pull him out of his god tier sleep.
She’s right though, he did, in fact set that alarm.
"Also, even if we do sleep in, the kids're just gonna come 'n wake us up anyway. So wouldn't it be better to wake up now? Right on time?~" She continued to reason, caressing his chest with her finger, lying back over him.
Of course, in theory, all of this made sense. And Garfiel was more than willing to listen… if he didn’t already know his wife inside and out.
“Dn’t lie, ya just wan' me t' wake up this early ‘cause ya wan' me t' make ya breakfast.”
“…”
She was caught.
“I’m goin’ back t’ sleep.”
“NO! Wait, c’mon Garf! I’m super hungry, ya know! And technically the thing about the kids wasn’t a lie, they were gonna come ‘n wake us up… eventually! Please!” She frantically tried to explain her 'lie' to the unwilling husband. She could cook for herself, but she didn’t feel like it. And after all, what were husbands for?
“No, leave m’ alone—”
BANG
“Sneak Attack!”
A tiny blur rushed through the doorway, leaping onto her mother’s lap with a tiger plush hugged against her chest.
“Get up ya lazy lumps! It’s already mid day, ya know!” She shouted, bringing down the tiger plush on her slothful mama’s face, knocking her halfway off the bed with a laugh.
“You too Papa! It’s time t’ get up!” She demanded, yanking the cover off his body and hitting him in the face with her plushie too as he groaned at the intrusion, but didn’t try to fight it.
Looking at the defeated expressions of parents filled her with a sense of pride. Stamping her foot on her papa’s back, she held her stuffed animal high.
“The strongest warriors should always be on thr' guard, even when they’re asleep, ya know!”
“Alright, baby, ya win! I give up, I give up!” Mimi laughed, sitting back up before pulling her daughter into her arms and holding her close.
Garfiel sat up with a grunt, rubbing the back of his head. His morning had officially started whether he wanted it to or not, though the sight of his wife and daughter kept him from staying grumpy for long.
“Yep, ya win, ya little brat. Now knock it off.” There was no real bite behind the reprimand.
“Hehe, it’s only natural that Elely’s amazing self won, Papa’s super weak in the mornin’, ya know!” she proclaimed triumphantly, looking down at her father with all the smugness a child like her could muster, especially considering who her parents were.
“Haha, well she’s got ya thr' Garf, don't ya feel embarrassed—”
“And Mama didn’t stand a chance with all the extra weight she’s carrying! So Elely wins—yayyy!” she declared triumphantly, then dashed out of the room.
“…”
“…”
Both parents remained silent.
“Oh! And Elely is super-duper hungry! Can we have breakfast soon? Okay, that’s all, see you later!” she said, before closing the door and going about her day as she waited for her parents to get out of bed.
“…”
“Pfft—” He couldn’t hold it in anymore.
“Garf!” Mimi shrieked, her face flushed bright red with embarrassment.
“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” he burst out, letting out a hearty laugh, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes.
“It ain’t funny! It ain’t funny at all!” she protested, swatting at his chest. Her own daughter had called her… she basically said she was…
“Fat! She called you fat! AHAHAHAHA!” Garfiel finished her thought, his laughter spilling out between the words.
“Tsk. Whatever,” she said, though she glanced down and patted her stomach. “Maybe I could do some exercise or something… take a few more jobs?”
Noticing his wife’s mood shifting, Garfiel swept her up in his arms and carried her out of bed, stopping in front of a mirror.
“G-Garf!” she squeaked, startled by the sudden movement.
“C’mon, ya know she was just kiddin’. And If it weren’t so early, I’d be tempted t’ prove my point properly,” he said with a rough chuckle, kissing Mimi’s forehead. He wasn’t lying either, and she knew it.
“Oho~? Well, if ya’re really so eager, we could—”
CRASH
A loud crash came from what Garfiel and Mimi already knew was the kitchen. That’s where the most fragile stuff was after all.
“Oooooh, ya totally broke it! Haha, Ma ‘n Pa are gonna kick yer ass, dude!” a boyish voice jeered.
“Argh, shut up, ya snitch. No they won’t!” another voice, slightly softer but nearly identical, protested.
Garfiel sighed, already feeling a headache coming on. They’re his children, and he loves them to death, but God, he really can’t stand them sometimes.
“Sooo… Ya wanna go make breakfast now?”
“Let’s just go.”
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It was happening again.
Right now was one of those moments where Garfiel seriously questioned why he’d had kids in the first place.
The plan was so simple. A masterpiece of logic. Garfiel would make breakfast, they’d all eat like a normal, civilized family, then on the way to work, he and Mimi would drop the kids off at their aunt’s house. It was so simple.
So, how?
"Axel! Hold the bowl steady! Ragnar, stop whisking so hard, ya're gettin' egg on the damn ceiling!" Garfiel barked. He was currently trying to juggle a sizzling pan in one hand while using his hip to block Mimi from 'sampling' the raw bacon with the other.
Seriously, how?
"I’m helpin’ keep the tempo, Pa!" Ragnar shouted back. The kid was vibrating with enough energy to power a small village. "A weak whisk makes for a weak omelet! Hoshin said so!”
How did it all go sideways this fast?!
"Hoshin never said that! That ain't a proverb at all, that's just you bein' messy!" Axel grumbled. He was squinting through a dusting of flour that had somehow settled on his eyelashes, making him look like he’d aged forty years in the last five minutes.
Meanwhile, Elely wasn't even at the counter. She was crouched by the stove with a look of intense, terrifying focus. "Papa, the heat displacement on this burner is super inefficient, ya know! If I just tweak the flow on this mana crystal, we can sear the meat in like, three seconds!"
"FUCKIN WHA—”
BWOOOFSH
A pillar of fire shot up from the stove, singeing the tips of Garfiel’s golden hair and turning the bacon into… like, not bacon.
Mimi placed a hand her husband’s shoulder. Shaking her head empathetically “Sorry hubby, kids really aren’t bein’ agreeable are they? Maybe we should t’ eat somethin’ else for breakfast.”
“…”
If only he could trust those words.
“What’s that behind yer back?” he asked, already knowing the answer.
“…”
She was caught.
“Is it s’mores—?”
“It’s s’mores, yeah.”
Garfiel stood there, frozen, holding a spatula that was now slightly melted at the edge. He looked at the charred remains of the food, then at his soot-covered sons, then at his daughter who was prodding at the stove with a disappointed "hmph," and finally at his wife, who was genuinely excited about the fire.
He let out a long, slow breath. Then he chuckled to himself, he really didn’t stand a chance against them, did he?
"Listen up! All of ya!"
The kids went silent. Even Mimi stopped.
“We’re goin’ t’ a diner. ‘n I’m orderin’ the biggest platter they got. My amazin’ self is officially retired from cookin’ for the day.”
"YAYYYYY! DINER!"
Why did Garfiel become a father? He didn’t remember. But by that same token, he also couldn’t picture a life without the family he has now, and for him, that was enough to stop questioning it.
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