Chapter Text
Neil woke up, just over two months after the championship game, feeling immensely pissed off.
He couldn’t explain why, but everything was wrong. His sheets were too scratchy. The sun that poked through the shitty dorm blinds was too bright. The sound of Kevin’s quiet snores, which had long become white noise, grated on his nerves to the point where each inhale made Neil want to jump down and smother Kevin with his pillow. And the smell. It was like something had gone and died in the middle of the room, and Neil knew what death smelt like. There was the scent of sweaty gym clothes and old takeout and wet shoes and Nicky’s overbearing cologne and mildew from the carpet and sewer from the pipes and stale cigarette smoke and—
Neil sat upright with a jerk and threw his legs over the side of the bunk bed, descending as fast as possible. For once, he didn’t care if he woke the others up. Neil needed to be outside yesterday or else he was going to puke.
Neil found himself on the rooftop, the early morning sun not warm enough to offset the chill of the lingering night. He didn’t bring a coat or shoes, not even his keys in his haste to leave, so Neil’s toes felt cold in his socks and goosebumps formed on his bare arms. The fresh air helped settle his nausea but Neil couldn’t help but linger on everything else that felt wrong. His stomach hurt, lower down in his abdomen, as if he did one too many core exercises. His head ached in a way Neil was intimately familiar with; dehydration paired with his dry throat. His neck was sore as if he had slept on it wrong, and even his fucking eyes hurt in a way he didn’t know how to describe.
Was he getting sick? Neil scowled at the thought. He didn’t want to be sick. He stood on the rooftop, arms wrapped around himself tightly, and hated life just a little bit more. Then he hated himself for being so unreasonably upset.
Neil didn’t know how long he stood there, unwilling to dirty his pajamas by sitting on the ground but also increasingly annoyed that he couldn’t lie down and curl up in a ball to try and ease his cramps. He heard the door to the rooftop open behind him, its worn out hinges squeaking in a way that made him grit his teeth and seethe.
It was Andrew. Of course it was Andrew. He watched Neil from the door, observing him in a way that made Neil want to snap at him to shut the fuck up, although he hadn’t said a word. Andrew shut the door slowly, approaching Neil with care. Neil couldn’t explain it, but he felt simultaneously drawn and repulsed by Andrew. He wanted to sink his hands into those soft blond strands. He wanted him six feet away. He wanted Andrew to hold him. The idea of Andrew touching him made his skin crawl. He wanted Andrew to kiss him until he was breathless and boneless in his lap. If Andrew took another step towards him, Neil was going to break his fucking arm. What the fuck was wrong with him?
Maybe some of that was clear in Neil’s face, because Andrew stopped some distance away from Neil. His scent of rain and chocolate, normally soothing, was too overpowering in a way that made Neil want to plug his nose while simultaneously sinking his teeth into Andrew’s neck. Andrew shifted until he was downwind, allowing Neil to take in a deep breath and taste nothing but clean air.
Andrew stood quietly, likely waiting for Neil to speak first. It was thoughtful and made Neil want to jump off the roof.
“Everything is wrong.” Neil hissed out through gritted teeth. He wanted to say more, express everything in painstaking detail that was bothering him, but suddenly the idea of saying another word made him angry. Couldn’t Andrew tell what was wrong? Even if Neil didn’t feel like shit, didn’t Andrew also smell the rottenness of their dorm, hear the ear piercing squeal of the door opening, feel the way the ground was too cold despite the fact that the sun had risen?
It was irrational. Neil knew it was irrational. He took shallow breaths, trying to calm himself down.
“Wrong.” Andrew repeated. Neil had to bite down his instinctual nasty retort. “Are you in pain?”
Neil nodded, moving his hands up and down his arms to try and get rid of the goosebumps.
“Do you feel irritable?”
“Yes,” Neil said, trying to keep his tone civil. He didn’t think he succeeded.
“Is everything overwhelming? Smell, hearing, taste?”
“Obviously, you think you know what’s going on,” Neil snapped at him. “So fucking tell me, Andrew.”
Andrew didn’t look impressed. “You’re presenting.”
Neil held in his automatic no, I’m not, because it frustratingly made a lot of sense. At nineteen (twenty, legally now) he was long past the age to hit secondary puberty. Abby had warned him that his body would force him to undergo it sooner or later, whether because it couldn’t take it anymore or because he had finally let go of his survival instincts enough to feel safe. Neil hadn’t minded being unpresented, unable to smell all notes of others’ scents or be strongly affected by pheromones. Sure, it was commented on that he still had a neutral scent, more akin to the blank slate of a child, but Neil would rather face that scrutiny then be forced to deal with biological demands that he couldn’t avoid, or worse yet held hostage by others exerting their biology over Neil.
Of the three genders, Neil hoped that he was a beta. Being a beta was simpler: they didn’t have heats or ruts, they were less susceptible to pheromones, and it was just easier.
"I don’t want this.” Neil whined.
“Tough.” Andrew said, unsympathetically. “You’ll need to tell Coach and Abby.”
The idea of everyone knowing that he was presenting made his skin feel too tight. It was his business. The new fucking freshmen had already been all over him, Jack pushing and prodding at his unpresented scent, saying shitty things like all this for a fucking child? and I’m better suited to be Kevin Day’s partner than an unpresented murderer. It made Neil angry on a normal day, now he thinks if he saw the beta he’d genuinely rip out his spine. Even the upperclassmen expressed their quiet concern, asking if he had some sort of hormonal disorder and maybe he should get it checked out, although they backed off when he firmly declined. They already cared too much and now they’d know that he was presenting and they’d be all over him and his new scent and it was too much to think about, really, and–
“Breathe.” Andrew ordered, and Neil took in another breath, then two, until his head stopped swimming and he could focus on Andrew again. “You are presenting and that doesn’t matter.”
“It changes everything.” Neil said, trying to convey what he felt into those three words.
Andrew raised his eyebrow and crossed his arms. “It changes nothing.”
Neil didn’t believe him, but Andrew’s insistence settled something in Neil. Andrew was wrong, it changed everything, but also Andrew was right, because it didn’t change anything Neil didn’t want it to change. Sure he’d potentially undergo cycles, smell more, and be more affected by pheromones, but so what? It would only matter if he let it get to him. Or something.
Neil let his shoulders drop. His stomach still hurt and his headache hadn’t gone away, but now that he knew what was wrong with himself all he wanted to do was to curl up in Andrew’s arms and maybe eat something. “Okay.”
Andrew nodded approvingly before jerking his head towards the door. Neil walked over to his side, carefully keeping space between himself and Andrew. Andrew rolled his eyes and grabbed Neil’s hand, his warm palm leeching the cold from Neil’s own, and they headed back down the stairs.
“I’m cold,” Neil squeezed Andrew’s hand.
“Because you were stupid enough to leave without shoes and a jacket.” Andrew replied, pitiless. It was offset by the way he immediately let go of Neil’s hand to strip off his own hoodie, handing it to Neil without even glancing in his direction.
Neil felt warm before he even put on the coat. He smiled widely at Andrew, feeling his irritability dissipate further as Andrew pulled him inside their dorm room.
There were only three alphas on the team: Andrew, Aaron, and Renee. The rest of the team were betas. Statistically, it made sense. Roughly eighty percent of the population were betas, with omegas and alphas splitting the other twenty percent, but there was a higher concentration of alphas in organized sports.
“You better be a beta.” Kevin said that morning, when Neil begrudgingly told him that he would be missing practice for the next few days. “We can’t afford to lose valuable training time if you’re out with a heat or rut.”
“Okay,” Neil scowled. “It’s not like I get a choice.”
“If you want to make court–”
Andrew slammed his hand down on the counter behind Kevin, loud enough to make Kevin jump and give Andrew a dirty look. “What? It’s true that it’d be better if he was a beta!”
“It’s not up to him.” Andrew repeated, staring down Kevin until he muttered something foul under his breath and returned to his coffee.
Nicky was more sympathetic, fretting over what Neil might need. “Blankets, drinks, lots of protein bars–what else did I want when I presented?” He looked one second away from ruffling Neil’s hair, enough that Neil inched closer to Andrew to avoid Nicky’s overbearing help. “It’s not fun, but once it’s done, it’s done!”
“Unless Neil has heats or ruts.” Kevin pointed out mercilessly.
“Unless he has those,” Nicky consented. “But then you’ll be better prepared!”
Neil didn’t want heats or ruts, but unfortunately that wasn’t something he could control. He was thankful that he hadn’t presented while on the run with his mother—he couldn’t imagine she’d have much sympathy for the way he was feeling or would make sure that he was comfortable while fleeing from his father. It was a vulnerability. A liability. The reminder made Neil pick at some imaginary lint on Andrew’s hoodie, a tick Andrew gave him a look for but didn’t comment on.
They went to the court early for Neil to inform Wymack and Abby. Aaron gave Neil a disgusted look when he got in the car, pinching his nose slightly like he smelled something terrible. Neil didn’t think he smelled like anything yet, so it was just Aaron being an asshole, like usual. He gave him a middle finger.
Andrew followed Neil to Wymack’s office, his warm presence at Neil’s back the only thing keeping him from running away from having this conversation. Neil knocked on Wymack’s door, opening it when he heard him call out.
“Neil,” Wymack said, raising an eyebrow. “and Andrew. What did you do?”
“Why do you assume we did something?” Andrew asked, innocently glancing around the interior of Wymack’s office as if he had never been there before.
Wymack looked unimpressed. “Because I know you and what kind of miscreants I have on my team.”
Andrew shrugged. Wymack turned his attention to Neil, who was shifting his weight back and forth in unease. “What’s wrong?”
Neil let out a small sigh, resigned to his fate. “I think I’m presenting.”
Wymack didn’t seem surprised. “Let me grab Abby.”
Andrew brought Abby from her office, allowing her to take the extra chair in front of Wymack’s desk while he stood guard in front of the closed door. Neil described his symptoms to Abby, who agreed with Andrew’s original diagnosis.
“You’re definitely presenting.” Abby said, sympathetically. “I would prepare to spend a week undergoing your presentation.”
Neil balked at her words. “A week? I thought they typically only lasted two or three days?”
“In a normal presentation, yes. As your presentation has been delayed, I’m assuming that it will take your body longer to reach equilibrium.” Abby explained. “Since it’ll take a longer period of time, I would recommend that you spend the week in my guest room so I can be sure that you’re eating and drinking adequately.”
Can’t Andrew help me? Neil bit down, because Andrew hadn’t consented. They hadn’t even talked about it. Besides, where would he go? The Columbia house? He couldn’t inconvenience the rest of them like that. Spending it in Abby’s house–unfamiliar enough to make Neil instinctually tense–was far better than spending it in the university provided heat and rut rooms that the rest of the students used. It didn’t make him happy. It didn’t make him feel safe. He wanted Andrew to watch out for him since he didn’t know what state he’d be in, but that wasn’t fair to Andrew. Fuck, this whole thing sucked. Why did he have to present?
“Okay,” Neil agreed, reluctant. “I’ll spend the week at your house.”
Wymack and Abby relaxed with Neil’s agreement. Neil couldn’t see Andrew from where he was positioned behind him to see if he had responded in a similar manner. They hammered out more of the details, eventually deciding that Neil would leave with Abby immediately after grabbing his things from the dorm to prepare for his presentation.
“Given how strong your senses already are, it’s likely you’ll begin your real presentation within the next twenty four hours.” Abby said. “It’s better to get you settled before then."
Neil thought Andrew would peel off as soon as they left the office and head to practice, but he followed Neil outside and led him to his car, leaving Abby alone in hers.
“You’re coming with me?” Neil asked, relaxing into Andrew’s hand that had come up to grip the back of his neck. Kevin would be pissed off that Andrew was skipping practice.
“I don’t trust you to grab the right things.”
Neil couldn’t disagree with that, instead settling into the passenger seat with a sigh, enjoying Andrew’s scent of rain and chocolate and smoke.
At the dorm Neil packed as if he was going on a trip: clothes, toiletries, his phone charger. Andrew didn’t say anything but added two blankets and the hoodie Neil had worn earlier that day. He even grabbed a shirt of Kevin and Nicky’s, to which Neil raised his eyebrow in confusion. “It’ll help.”
Neil figured it was just one of those things he wouldn’t understand until he did, so he allowed Andrew to shove them in his duffle bag.
Abby was waiting outside the dorm for them. Neil hesitated at the bottom of the stairs, outside of her line of sight. Andrew stopped behind him.
Neil turned to look at him. “I don’t want to do this.”
“Tough.” Andrew said, a mimicry of earlier that morning.
“I don’t want to be an alpha or omega.” Neil admitted.
Andrew didn’t seem surprised. Maybe as an alpha he should have been offended, but this was Andrew, and he understood Neil. “Okay.”
There were no useless platitudes from Andrew, no maybe you won’t or it wouldn’t be that bad or any other bullshit that anyone else would have fed him. Just Andrew’s stability, his strength that Neil drew comfort from. “Okay,” Neil repeated, and that was that.
Abby set Neil up in her guest room, the same one that anyone took when they were injured. She left him to his own devices, telling him to make himself comfortable in “any way he saw fit”. Neil was a bit apprehensive as to what that could mean, and sat down on the bed warily as he plugged in his phone.
im here he typed.
Andrew responded immediately. don’t do anything stupid.
? Neil asked.
Andrew didn’t respond. Neil waited a minute to see if he would send anything else, but when he didn’t Neil placed the phone back on the side table and flopped backwards on the bed. He stared up at the ceiling.
His skin still itched and his headache was a pulsing presence in the back of his head. More than anything though Neil found himself exhausted. It had only been two hours from waking up to realizing he was presenting, but Neil was tired as if he hadn’t had any sleep at all. He shucked off his shoes and climbed underneath the blanket, falling asleep within minutes.
Abby came to check on him a few hours later, knocking softly on the door. It woke Neil up. He sat up groggily and called out, “Yeah?”
Abby carefully opened the door, carrying a tray in her hand. She had a warm smile on her face, different from the one she normally wore which caused Neil to frown. “What?”
“Andrew dropped off a few things for you.” She said, setting the tray down on the table next to his phone. “Some of your favorite snacks.”
Neil grabbed the blankets and wrapped them around himself, staring at the tray. It was filled with an eclectic mix of things Neil liked; red gatorade, his favorite protein bar, strawberries in a small bowl, savory popcorn. It made Neil feel—something. He pulled the blanket underneath his chin and stared.
Abby, her smile never dropping, asked him, “How are you feeling?”
“Fine.” Neil said, and didn’t elaborate further.
She sighed. “Any pain?”
Neil took stock of himself, drawing his attention away from the tray. His head felt slightly better, but his body was aching. He told her as such, and she left the room to return with a small bottle of painkillers. “Only two every four hours, okay?”
Neil nodded, and she left him alone again.
As soon as she did, Neil burst from the blankets, grabbing the snacks. Andrew thought of him. Andrew brought him his favorite things.
It made him warm, the same way it did when Andrew gave Neil his sweatshirt. He ate ravenously, not realizing how hungry he had gotten, and once he was full he sent another text to Andrew.
thanks for the snacks
don’t forget to eat came the immediate reply. drink water
ok
don’t worry abby
Neil smiled. Andrew was sweet with his fretting, even though he’d deny it to death. no promises
Andrew texted back a single period, his version of a frowny face.
:) Neil typed out carefully.
go to sleep
ok
Neil laid down again and did just that.
When he woke up again, his body was on fire.