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“They took her” Angela's voice shook. “The task force... they took Karen”
Matt stepped back like he’d been punched, shaking his head. He tried to process it, then lunged forward but had no idea where to go. He could still feel the fight with Fisk in his body- the weight of his fists, throbbing in his ribs, salty taste of blood in his mouth. It was all there. But the physical pain turned into pure terror and it felt like the ground was slipping away from under him.
“What... what did you say?” he managed to ask.
“AVTF... they arrested her... they took her-“
Matt didn't hear the rest. Angela’s voice sounded muffled, as if he were underwater. All he could feel was the cold truth taking over; Karen was gone.
His mind went straight to the worst-case scenario. His chest started heaving, tightening more with every second. He felt his heart racing in his throat and he couldn't catch his breath. His helmet felt too tight; his head was pounding. The suit was too much, everything was too much. Smoky air burned his lungs and it felt like the city was closing in on him. His legs were shaking as he started running, not even knowing where he was headed. He ducked into a dark alley and leaned his palm against a rough wall. He didn't care who was watching as he ripped his mask off and threw it.
His fingers shook as he pulled the zipper down at the back of his suit. The sound of the metal teeth felt like a scream in his ears. But it didn't help; if anything, the fire inside him just got worse.
Cold sweat poured down his back and his mouth pooled with excess saliva. The taste of his own blood made him nauseous. Every single sound- a distant siren, rat scurrying, the smell of rust in the wind- was overwhelming, yet felt broken and incomplete. “Karen..” he groaned internally.
He tried to focus, tried to sense the city, but the city only gave him chaos. Karen wasn't there. It was like someone had erased her from reality, leaving nothing but a massive silence.
The burning in his stomach rose. Everything was spinning, and it felt like gravity was pulling him down. Adrenaline was too much; his body couldn't handle the load. He’d had his spirit broken before but this was the first time his body was in total physical revolt. He couldn't take it anymore, dropping to one knee as he retched. For a second, he felt a tiny bit of relief but then that suffocating feeling came right back. His throat burned from the acid, his hand was smeared with dirt and grime, and his eyes blurred with tears. The suit still felt too tight, everything was burning.
Matt thought his heart was going to stop. None of his senses were working; all he could feel was the irregular, panicked thumping in his chest. The pulse in his temples was so loud it felt like his own blood was trying to deafen him. When he stopped throwing up, his face was a mess of sweat, blood and spit.. He started shivering violently and slumped to the ground. Leaning his back against the wall, he whispered, “No... no, no…” His tongue felt heavy. “Karen- make a sound, whisper. Say something… ”
He could always find Karen’s heartbeat. Even in the loudest moments of the city, he could pick out that rhythm. Her scent, breath, her presence... But now, there was only a deafening void. “God” he said, his voice breaking “It’s not working.”
He pulled his knees to his chest and wiped his face on his suit’s sleeve. “Focus... focus!” he whispered to himself. But he couldn't. No heartbeat, no familiar footsteps. It was impossible. A nightmare. “No!” he growled through gritted teeth. He pressed his hands to the ground and stood up shakily. He couldn't find his balance but he couldn't just sit there and wait.
Without knowing where the strength in his knees came from, he threw himself onto stairs and rooftops. His body was burning with fever, but the night wind cut through his sweaty skin like a knife. He jumped from one roof to another, almost falling into the empty space between them, catching himself at the last second. He couldn't stop. He ran with a desperate rage until his lungs were about to burst. He didn't even know where he was going, because she wasn't anywhere.
“KAREN!” he screamed at one point. His voice echoed between buildings and came back to him like a joke.
Time lost its meaning. As dawn spread across the sky, he collapsed in front of a water tank. His strength was gone, and a strange numbness wrapped around his soul. Right then, voices from the day before echoed in his mind. Karen’s crying, angry, and hurt voice was in his ears;
“You keep choosing the wrong people- Fisk, this thing- over the people who love you!”
Matt squeezed his eyes shut. As he started sobbing, tears soaked the dried blood on his cheeks.
“I... I...” Words got stuck in his throat. “I'm sorry.”
His shoulders shook. He took his head in his hands. Fingers gripped the hard surface of his helmet. His chest expanded, gasping for air, while his head throbbed as if it wanted to break free. “Karen, where are you? I can’t find you...”
His mind started playing tricks on him; imaginary iron doors creaking, tight, painful handcuffs, and Karen’s terrified silence took over his thoughts. “No!” he said desperately, “Please... don’t let anything happen to her.”
Painful moans slipped from his lips as he dug his palms into his knees. The stress, fear, and panic that had built up all night finally exploded. Matt had endured physical pain many times in his life but this mental siege left him helpless. The sounds he made while sobbing tore at his own ears. He imagined Karen calling out to him, then waiting in silence. He covered his ears with his hands, as if this physical pressure could drown out the noise inside.
But at some point, when his mind could no longer handle the high tension, the violent crying fit turned into a deep, numb silence. His tears had dried, and all his emotions felt suddenly silenced. A state of freezing, of paralysis, took over. His senses were still there- the hum of a distant siren, sound of a fridge running downstairs- but he couldn't process the data anymore. His mind was completely numb and the noise inside turned into a void. It was like his brain had locked his feelings in a cellar to protect itself, closing the doors one by one. He was only taking shallow, irregular breaths.
He wasn't sure how long he stayed like that, but he could hear the sounds of the city changing. The sound of the first service vehicles, shutters opening, the sleepy steps of people. The city was moving again, but Matt was stuck in place. His hands were still shaking and his body was exhausted. Even the pain under his eyes didn't feel that sharp anymore.
But the worst part was that when his mind went quiet, for a moment, he struggled to remember Karen’s voice.
He looked up, brows furrowing. No. No, it was impossible. Karen’s voice was always clear in his mind; he could pick it out from every other sound in the world. How fast she spoke when she was angry, how her voice got thin when she was scared, how her breath changed when she was trying not to laugh... But now, his mind had been filled with panic for so long that everything was starting to blur together.
He squeezed his eyes shut. As he forced himself to remember, a thin light pierced through the darkness. From the numbness of his mind, a memory slipped out from the dusty shelves. A feeling; arms wrapping around him, the familiar scent of peonies, and most of all, the sound of that voice that changed his heart's rhythm.
He went back years. It was one of those nights where everything was crashing down, and his faith was shaken. Feeling psychologically broken and completely alone, he’d said with a shaky voice, “I can’t- I can’t do this alone.” In that moment, Karen had held him, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him back from the edge of the cliff.
As Matt hid his face in Karen’s shoulder and sobbed, she somehow understood just how much he needed that comfort. She understood even without knowing why. She was crying too but she was still trying to calm him down. Her hand moved through his hair, her warm breath touched his ear and her voice was as quiet as a whisper but just as strong.
“You’re not alone, Matt… You never were.”
This tiny memory slowly cleared the fog in his mind. It made every nerve ending tingle like a spark. Thank God, her voice was clear this time. Karen’s hopeful, calming tone rang in his ears like a shelter in the middle of a storm. The confidence in her voice pulled Matt out of the bottomless pit he’d fallen into.
Once, loneliness was a natural part of his life; the people around him felt more like a burden than support. Fighting alone, suffering alone- that was his normal. But over the years, Karen had slowly proven that idea wrong. She’d taught him to accept that people who love him aren't a weight, but a pillar. And now, she was doing it again. Even though she wasn't physically there, he felt her support and a single sentence from her was enough to pull him back together.
Suddenly, a strength grew inside him. It wasn't anger or blind stubbornness; it was a steady motivation born from love and belonging. Matt leaned his head down and gave a short, bitter smile. That smile held both surrender and deep admiration. Karen… even now, when he didn't even know where she was, when she was probably in the middle of danger, she had managed to save him. While she was the one who needed help, the echo of her voice had picked Matt up, put his pieces back together and reminded him of his path.
Because that was Karen. No matter how many times Matt fell apart, Karen always put him back together. Sometimes with a look, sometimes a single sentence, sometimes a touch.
Yes, Karen might be scared. But she was never weak. She could handle this.
With the strength of that thought, Matt took a deep breath. The numbness was gone, replaced by a determined focus. Minutes later, he slowly stood up. His legs were still shaking but his head was held high. He forced himself to listen again; he quieted the wheezing in his lungs and silenced the noise in his head.
“Wait for me” he whispered.