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For this one moment, this one space of time, Dean was well and truly happy. He hadn’t been too sure about his friend’s idea to head out to the lake for the 4th of July. He had been well and truly sure that it would be a bad idea, and that something would go wrong, but for once he was glad to be proven wrong. He hadn’t seen Sammy this happy and carefree in too long, and it was good to have Kevin, Charlie, and Cas all there with them. Gatherings like this were few and far between right now, and it was nice to put everything else on the back burner and take a bit of time for themselves.
They had all arranged to meet at this particular lake because it was so secluded and there wasn’t likely to be anyone else around, even for the 4th. They always felt more at home in places like this anyways; the places so far off the beaten track that most people forget that they even exist. This, to Dean, felt like home.
He leaned back against the Impala, watching as Sam showed Castiel some of the fireworks that had been laid out on a long forgotten picnic table that had survived the lake’s desertion. The sun was setting fast now, reflecting orange and red across the rather still surface of the lake. Charlie had wandered over to him while he had been watching Cas and Sam.
“You do realize that the whole point of this is for you to not think too hard? You might break something valuable in that head of yours, if you keep it up.” Charlie grumbled as she pushed a beer into his hand.
Dean snorted, “I’m not even going to dignify that with a real response.”
“Suit yourself. Is there a particular reason you’re standing over here by yourself instead of playing with the explosives like a normal person?” Charlie asked in an incredulous tone. Usually, if Dean had a chance to play with fire and things that were potentially dangerous, he was all over it.
Dean shrugged a little. Honestly, he was just enjoying seeing the people he cared most about in the world looking so happy, getting this little slice of perfect. “The fact that you consider playing with explosives something a normal person would do should be cause for alarm. Also, I would like to point out that it is highly unlikely that you even know a normal person.”
Charlie threw her hands up into the air in exasperation, “Fine! You’re kind of impossible, you know that?”
Dean grinned roguishly at her, “Alright, alright, let’s go be sociable then.” He pushed off the Impala gently, grabbing Charlie’s hand and leading her towards the table where Kevin was now trying to take one of the fireworks away from Sam.
“I’m a hundred percent positive that if you light it while you hold it like that, you’ll be missing a finger at the very least before the night is over,” Kevin told Sam, finally tugging the firework away from him and half glaring at the older man.
Dean had lost count of Sam’s different bitch faces over the years, but he knew this one well. Sam was currently wearing one of Dean’s favorite bitch faces, a combination of “I’m not an idiot” and “I am a grown man and I already knew that”. “I wasn’t going to light it while I was holding it! I don’t even have the lighter!”
Dean snickered, “Alright children, play nice.” That, of course, got him a glare from both Sam and Kevin. Dean looked at the other side of the table to find Castiel watching him studiously, a light smile on his face. Dean did his best to smile back, knowing that it was probably weak at best. Castiel made him feel all sorts of emotions he wasn’t really prepared to deal with; emotions he would probably never be truly prepared to deal with. The thing was, Dean was tired of his inability to deal with such emotions getting in his way of what could be with Castiel. He might have made the mistake of asking Sam about it, only for his brother to tell him that if he wanted there to be something with Cas, he was going to have to suck it up and deal with his feelings because “you sound like a freaking high school girl, Dean. Just deal with it!” The whole episode had reminded Dean why he didn’t ask Sam for relationship advice. It was probably karmic justice for him telling Sam similar things throughout the years, so he supposed he deserved it. Which meant that Dean was still at square one with figuring things out.
Dean finally realized he had been staring at Cas the entire time and flushed lightly, quickly looking away. Of course, that put Dean looking directly at his brother, who raised an eyebrow at him in question. Dean shook his head, which just seemed to frustrate Sam.
It didn’t take long for Kevin and Charlie to drag Dean into a debate about the best way to set off the fireworks to their advantage. The three of them debated and started setting up the ones that had to be stuck into the ground so that they went out over the lake and not into the woods surrounding the area. Apparently, though, Dean wasn’t going to be allowed to help set off the larger fireworks.
“It’s not that we don’t think you’re more than capable,” Kevin had said sincerely, “More like we’re concerned that you’re going to accidently lose a limb or an eye or something.” And Dean had really wanted to argue with that, except, well, he kept getting distracted by Cas, and maybe they had a point. Of course, they were going to let Sam help, which meant that they’d probably be treating at least one burn before the night was over, but that had been likely with do-it-yourself fireworks anyways.
Once all the bigger fireworks are set up, and ready to be lit whenever, they get out the small fireworks. They have the little colored smoke bombs and snakes that Dean remembers setting off with Sammy when they were younger. Sam sends him this pleased little grin that tells Dean that he’s remember too, and it’s all good memories for once. Sam’s grin seems brighter and more real somehow, his face lit up by the flames of the small bon fire they have going now that it’s full dark. Ironically, they let Dean start the fire, but won’t let him play with the big fireworks. Somewhere in there, he thinks maybe he should be insulted, but honestly it might be nice for once to sit back and let someone else do the work, and just reap the rewards.
Dean looked away from Sam and managed to accidentally catch Castiel’s eye. The startling blue always managed to catch him off guard, and most of the time he ended up getting lost in the color and utter sincerity of them. He tore his eyes away when he heard the slight bang of Charlie setting off one of the small fireworks that shot red sparks into the air merrily. They spent the next hour or so lighting up the variation of small fireworks, and Cas seemed genuinely awed by them, not that Dean actually noticed. Though, if Dean were being completely honest here, they were all a bit awed by the fireworks, the atmosphere, just being together in this place and time. It was heady stuff, seeing the people you care for happy and excited over the simple things in life. A part of Dean dreaded what might, or might not, happen when tonight was over, how everyone would have to separate and go back to what they were doing outside of this one perfect night.
At some point while Dean was lost in thought, Castiel had sidled up to him, leaning back against the Impala as well as he watched the other three set off the remaining small fireworks. “It’s been a good night, hasn’t it Cas?” Dean turned his head slightly toward his friend to watch him out of the corner of his eye.
Castiel smiled beatifically, eyes shining as bright as the fireworks they had been setting off, “Yes Dean,” Castiel nearly hummed the words, “I should think it has been a very good night so far. It isn’t over yet, you know.”
“Yeah, I know Cas. It’s just, I guess I want to remember them all, us all, just like this. Happy and arguing with each other about who should set off what. No matter what else comes our way, no matter what shitty thing comes up next, I want to hold onto us all like this.” Dean spoke quietly, full of emotions he didn’t want to name, not even in his own mind.
Castiel turned slightly more towards Dean, looking as though he was going to say something, but Sam was wandering towards them, and Castiel kept quiet. Instead he smiled slightly, shaking his head and meandering back to the fire to talk to Charlie and Kevin. Sam furrowed his brow at Dean, “Did you do something? Because you totally promised not to be as ass tonight.”
Dean shrugged, feeling just as confused about Castiel’s reaction as Sam seemed to be by the whole thing. “No idea. If I did, it honestly wasn’t intentional. What’s up?”
Sam looked at him skeptically for a moment before speaking, “Before we do the rest of them, we were gonna eat.” Dean nodded and followed Sam back to the bonfire.
There was more beer passed around, and there were hotdogs to roast on the fire and even marshmallows for s’mores. Castiel kept accidentally catching his on fire, and didn’t like the taste of half burnt sugar, so he had taken to handing them off to Dean. Dean preferred his that way, so he wasn’t bothered by it, and had started roasting Cas’s for him so that he could actually eat them. Kevin, Sam, and Charlie found this rather amusing, even if they were trying to hide their glee at seeing the two of them acting rather couple like.
Charlie and Sam excused themselves finally, to check one last time that everything was set up properly. Kevin didn’t take long to join them, looking rather uncomfortable. “Am I the only one that feels extremely awkward when left alone with the two of them?”
Sam snorted, “Not by a long shot. Worse, I have to deal with it a lot more than you do. It never stops feeling weird, like you’re a perpetual third wheel or something. That they don’t even know they’re doing it just makes it worse somehow.”
“Oh come on guys, it’s adorable!” Charlie smiled brilliantly at them, “Don’t ruin this for me. I’m still waiting for them to figure it out and get their shit together. Their awkward fumbling is what keeps me going.”
“I’m pretty sure Cas is just waiting for Dean to get with the program,” Kevin grumbled, watching the two men in question as they stared at each other over the fire. “I feel sort of violated watching them look at each other like that. You think it will be better or worse if they ever get together?”
“Worse,” Sam and Charlie muttered in unison as Dean turned to look at them.
“You guys actually going to set those off sometime this year, or are you gonna just stand there thinking about it?” Dean called from his spot by the fire.
Kevin snorted, holding back numerous smartass comments about Dean going back to his boyfriend before sighing heavily. “Are you sure it can actually get worse than it is now? Surely anything is better than the whole denial bit.” Charlie just smiled slightly, shaking her head.
From there it didn’t take long for the three of them to get settled in to start setting the larger fireworks off. Dean had allowed the fire to die out some so they could see the colorful explosives better. Finally Sam called out to them that they were getting ready to start. Dean quickly ushered Castiel away from the dying fire and closer to the Impala so that they would have the best view of the colorful views.
This was clearly one perk of not setting them off; he could actually stand back and really enjoy them. Or, actually, he enjoyed the brilliant flashes of colored light for a few moments before he became entranced with the way the different colors were lighting up Castiel’s face. Splashes of red and blue and gold danced across his features as he watched the flares of color reflect back again from the lakes surface. Castiel looked so perfectly happy in that moment that Dean wanted nothing more than to keep him that way, and maybe kiss him. Kissing Cas had been at the top of Dean’s to-do list for a lot longer than he usually liked to admit, and it was becoming a near constant want when he was around Cas, which was more and more often lately.
Before he’d quite realized what he was doing, Dean had moved closer to Cas and was leaning in, his body determined to minimize the distance between the two of them with or without his mind’s consent. Castiel was watching him through half lidded eyes, watching in a way that made Dean want to kiss him even more, instead of making him worry about what he was doing. Dean let his body follow through with the motion that it had started, bringing their lips together with a soft press. The kiss was sort of awkward at first; desperate lips buzz of too much and not enough all rolled into one. A large part of Dean became terrified at the what ifs suddenly swirling in his mind. What if Cas didn’t want him? What if this was just another thing in his life that he would break, would screw up beyond repair?
Castiel seemed to catch on that Dean’s sudden stillness was worry and panic, but instead of pulling away he leaned farther into Dean. Castiel tilted his head, hand slipping to Dean’s waist as he deepened the kiss, sighing happily when Dean relaxed into it. Despite his own fears and concerns about it, Dean wanted this, whatever this was, with Cas more than he wanted anything else in that moment. He slid a hand up to rest on the back of Cas’s neck, shuffling closer until there was barely any space for air between their bodies. In a perfect night, this was the perfect moment, and to hell with what would come later, as far as Dean was concerned. They could deal with all of that when it came, if it came. For now, he could have this beautiful, fragile thing, and he would cherish it for as long as he did have it, whether it was for just this moment, or this night, this year, or even the rest of his life.
Dean pulled away slightly, searching Castiel’s face only to find him smiling at Dean lightly, clearly pleased. Dean sighed, leaning forward to rest his forehead against Cas’s shoulder. He quickly realized that the booming noise the fireworks made was tapering down. “Sorry you missed most of the fireworks,” Dean mumbled into Castiel’s neck.
Cas smiled, pressing a light kiss to Dean’s head, “I’m not. Besides, there’s always next year.” That sounded wonderful to Dean, better than he could have ever hoped for; he’d take it.