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When Hermione Granger walked into the library that morning, she wasn't expecting to find one of her best friends in there. In all her years at Hogwarts and in all the time she'd been friends with Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, Hermione had always been the one to drag them into the library. Often times it was to do homework, sometimes it was to save the school - however it was always Hermione that led them there.
If it wasn't for her they'd be doing their homework in the Gryffindor common room. In fact, even with her best efforts they would sometimes do their homework there anyway.
Still, in all their years at Hogwarts neither of them had gone into the library without her - even during the Chamber of Secrets fiasco when Hermione had been petrified. However today Hermione found that Harry had surprisingly gotten to the library before her.
He was also not alone.
Sitting across from him at a table, in a secluded corner of the library was Sue Li.
Hermione had never really interacted with Sue. She was a Ravenclaw who was most well known for being quiet. She never really spoke up unless to answer a professor's question, and as a result she was pretty much overlooked by the student body as a whole. She was smart, but to be fair any Ravenclaw had to be at least somewhat intelligent.
In truth, people mostly knew her as the Asian girl with a similar first name to the much more popular Susan Bones. Sometimes people would mention Sue, only for her to get confused with the loveable and friendly Hufflepuff.
Thinking more about it, Hermione realised she really didn't know much about Sue. In fact she didn't even know if the girl had friends.
Whilst Sue was talking to Harry, Hermione knew they couldn't be friends. She liked to think she knew Harry and Ron very well, and they trusted one another completely (as one does after surviving deadly dangers together). If Harry had befriended Sue then he would've told her. Hermione certainly would've been open to befriending her as well.
However, while Hermione knew they couldn't be friends she also knew they couldn't be working together for schoolwork. Hermione shared almost every class with Harry and thus knew who he was partnered with the moment it would happen, but in none of them had Harry even interacted with Sue. The only class they didn't share was Divination, but Hermione remembered that not a single Ravenclaw had taken it. Not only that, but she also knew Professor Trelawney's teaching style, so she knew that the professor didn't set partners for homework.
This was why Harry and Ron were always able to work together for it and make stuff up for each lesson (which as a side-note did upset her, but at the same time she was impressed they'd been able to get away with it for years).
As Hermione approached the table she noted that they were silent, before realising that they'd charmed the area to cancel out noise. This was confirmed by her taking a single step and suddenly getting buffeted with noise.
Harry and Sue were talking to one another. In fact they weren't just talking but arguing, and quite loudly at that. Before today Hermione had never really heard Sue speak, but now she was speaking loud and clear. What they were arguing about though was very much the opposite.
"Prawn Cocktail crisps are disgusting. They smell disgusting, they taste disgusting, and they look disgusting. End of story." Sue declared.
Harry was clearly very annoyed as he responded "How can they look disgusting? THEY LITERALLY LOOK THE SAME AS THE OTHER CRISP FLAVOURS!"
Sue sighed "I'm talking about the pink packaging, but now that I think about it just by looking at the crisps you know they look off. Deep down you can tell that there's something wrong with them."
"Wrong with them? Don't be ridiculous. Prawn Cocktail is the best crisp flavour, hands down! They aren't disgusting in any way, the pink packaging actually suits them because they're prawn flavoured ... and Hedwig likes them."
Sue looked at Harry in disgust, but with the last sentence looked a bit confused as well. Hermione couldn't blame her, as she'd never seen Hedwig being fed crisps.
Shaking her head, Sue spoke loudly "I'm going to ignore that last point besides to say that your owl is just as bad as you. Look Harry, we both know you only like these crisps because of that brief positive memory you had of them as a kid. The fact they were your first and only crisps before even coming to Hogwarts was a crime in and of itself, but the truth is you're being blinded by nostalgia."
Harry looked ready to argue back, but Sue continued on "I don't care why you like them but you need to face the fact: Prawn Cocktail crisps are not that great. Now, I won't say they're the worst as the Marmite flavour exists but they're still very bad."
Now Harry looked outraged "First you hate on Prawn Cocktail and now Marmite? They're literally two of the best crisp flavours!"
Sue pretended to be sick.
"I don't just like Prawn Cocktail because of my past with it, I like it because it tastes better. When you eat it you want to eat more." Harry explained, before smirking at Sue "Whereas if you eat Salt and Vinegar then you just want it to be over with."
Sue gasped in horror. "You take that back!" She hissed.
Harry, being the mature person he was, stuck his tongue out at her.
Hermione honestly couldn't believe what she was hearing. Hearing that they were arguing about CRISP FLAVOURS of all things was just ridiculous. She honestly felt as if she was loosing brain cells just listening to their dumb and pointless argument.
Regardless though, she decided it was time for her to step in.
"Can't you both just like the crisps that you like?" she asked them, feeling dumb for even entertaining their stupidity.
Harry and Sue turned to look at her in shock.
"Oh, hi Hermione!" Harry waved.
Hermione waved back as Sue answered her question.
"Agree with this idiot? Hell no. I'm not going to compromise with someone with such a terrible opinion." Sue spat out.
Harry turned to look at Sue in anger, before apologetically looking back at Hermione "Sorry Hermione, but I can't do that. I can't just leave the actual idiot spreading such nonsense."
With that Harry and Sue started arguing once more, leaving Hermione to stand and stare. She realised they were complete morons and that talking to them like this was a waste of time.
Now, normally Hermione would just go and read somewhere else but she knew they'd end up distracting her. As a result she decided to, for once, leave the library. She couldn't read like this and hoped things would be back to normal tomorrow.
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The very next day saw Hermione once more enter the library. She was excited to finally read some more advanced transfiguration!
However, right after she entered she ground to a complete stop. Once again Harry was in the library before her, and once again he was at the same table with Sue Li - where they were STILL ARGUING.
Hermione really couldn't understand this. How were they still arguing over crisps?
Despite her better judgement, Hermione ended up approaching the table. She was a bit more discreet this time as she didn't want to get dragged into the argument at all, but she still felt it best to listen in for a bit - out of simple curiosity. However, as she listened in Hermione found they weren't arguing about crisps at all anymore.
"It's seven continents. SEVEN. Europe, Africa, Asia, Oceania, Antarctica, North America and South America. Anything else is stupid - it's obvious by just looking at literally any map of the world" Harry stated.
Sue mockingly laughed at Harry "No, you're actually stupid if you believe that rubbish. North and South America are clearly one continent. So there's six continents, not seven."
Harry shook his head in despair "The sad thing is you really believe that. Look, they're separate continents because of the Panama Canal. It literally divides North from South. You can't argue with logic."
"That's not logic though. The Panama Canal isn't even a proper divide - it's man-made. What sets continents apart is natural divides like the Urals or the Sinai Peninsula." Sue responded, only for Harry to quickly reply.
"The Sinai Peninsula isn't used to divide Africa from Asia - the Suez Canal is. Your argument just fell apart!" He countered triumphantly, before carrying on "But even then, if we were to follow your logic then Britain, Japan, Madagascar and Greenland would all be their own continents since they are all naturally divided from the mainland."
Sue was at a loss for words, but at the same time looked to be getting angrier.
Hermione on the other hand was seriously confused. They'd been arguing about crisps yesterday, but continents today? She couldn't understand how they'd gone from one to the other.
However what Hermione didn't realise was that this was only the start of it.
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Over the next few weeks the same thing would happen like clockwork. Hermione would go to the library, find Harry and Sue and watch them pointlessly argue about completely different things.
One day it would be on architecture.
"Brutalist architecture is clearly better than Renaissance architecture." Sue confidently said.
Harry looked genuinely horrified. "You can't seriously like that ugly and boring looking style, right?"
As Sue confirmed that she did in fact like it, Hermione noted that Harry ended up looking horrified for the rest of their argument.
However, on another day they'd be arguing about the pronunciation of tomatoes (as ridiculous as it sounded).
"It's toe-may-toe not to-ma-to." Harry explained.
Sue laughed "Except there's no 'Y' in tomato, so why would you pronounce it with one?"
Harry took a deep breath "Oh okay, you want to go there. There are multiple words that have weird pronunciations. Some with sounds for letters that aren't in the word, and other's having some letters be silent. Toe-may-toe could easily fit that."
Then on YET ANOTHER DAY they'd be arguing about Blaise Zabini.
"Blaise Zabini is a girl, not a guy." Harry said.
Sue blinked in confusion "No, Blaise is a guy. Only an idiot couldn't tell that."
Harry glared at Sue in response.
"Oh, let me guess - you thought Blaise was an Italian girl linked to the mob who happened to be a total 'Ice Queen'." Sue guessed, laughing. "I bet you had a crush on him as well!"
Harry's eyes widened as he waved his hands "No, but Seamus does. He's the one who said that Blaise is a girl. Not sure where the rest of your suggestions come from though."
"Oh it was part of a rumour I heard months ago. Apparently that was Blaise's personality, but it was ritualistically transferred to Daphne Greengrass."
"....why?"
Sue had no idea. Hermione also had no idea where such a stupid and clearly false rumour would come from, but had made a note to be there when Seamus learned the truth.
However, with each day it became clearer and clearer to Hermione that Harry and Sue just kept arguing. It was bad enough that they argued in the library every day, but eventually it stopped being just in the library.
Hermione had been outside walking with Ron when they'd come across the pair alongside Hedwig and an eagle.
"You're wrong! Owls are clearly not as good at delivering mail as eagles!" Sue declared angrily.
Harry and Hedwig had matching looks of disgust and anger on their faces. Hermione just stared in disbelief whilst Ron snickered.
"If Post eagles were better then people would always be using them, but instead everyone uses owls. Do you know why? Because they're ACTUALLY better." Harry retorted.
Hedwig, sitting on Harry's shoulder, hooted and nodded in agreement.
Sue glared at Hedwig "Oh of course you take his side."
"I mean, you are literally arguing she is worse than an eagle so it's to be expected."
Sue huffed "Fine then! How about a race. Your little owl against my amazing eagle. Whichever one can fly some mail to ... um ... Hermione! Yes, to Hermione ... whichever one does that first wins."
"Okay then. I accept your challenge. Just don't be surprised when your burger bird gets left in the dust."
"Burger bird?" Sue asked angrily.
Harry shrugged "Eagles are American, so a burger bird from burger land."
Hermione and Ron then watched as Harry and Sue quickly wrote notes for Hermione.
"They don't realise you're right here, do they?" Ron asked in amusement.
Hermione sighed "No, they don't."
Thirty seconds later they did figure it out as two birds rushed over to Hermione. Hedwig barely reached her first, but the eagle was the one that crashed into her. Both Harry and Sue did apologise to Hermione afterwards, but didn't stop arguing. Surprisingly though the two had completely disappeared after that.
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"East Germany actually does still exist! It's near Cuba now."
Hermione sighed as she heard the latest argument. By this point they'd been going at it for almost a month, and she'd finally caved and just done her best to ignore them as she read. Sometimes it was easier as they didn't come into the library everyday, but Ron was quick to inform her that if they weren't arguing there then they were arguing somewhere else in the castle about something completely pointless again.
Today though they were back in the library arguing about East Germany - a country that hadn't existed for several years at this point.
"How is East Germany near Cuba? That's literally thousands of miles away from Germany itself!" Harry asked in frustrated confusion.
Sue smiled victoriously "Cuba gifted them an island in the 70's, and since it wasn't included in the German reunification that means that it's the only remaining territory of East Germany."
Harry laughed "Are you sure about that? I bet if you went there today then the Cubans would claim it as theirs."
Hermione sighed again.
Ron looked at Hermione in concern, before quickly turning back to his homework.
"I mean, how could it even be East Germany at that point? It's to the west of Europe as a whole."
"Well if you went the other way around the globe then it would be to the east. Besides, other countries have counterparts around the world - like New England, New Britain, Nova Scotia, New Zealand, New Ireland and New Mexico."
"Not even the point I was making, but besides that I don't think New Mexico is a good example - it's right next to Old Mexico." Harry pointed out.
Hermione sighed for a third time, and Ron moved his chair slightly away from her.
Thankfully Hermione's mood would improve when the two took their argument out of the library.
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"It's Hermione Jean Granger not Hermione Jane Granger." Sue stated.
Harry looked between Sue and Hermione. Sue smirking at him, whilst Hermione tried to ignore their argument. He then took a deep breath.
"Actually, it's Hermione Jane Granger." he said.
Hermione's eye twitched as she glared at Harry. Ron on the other hand was giving Harry warning signs behind her back, desperately encouraging him to stop. Hermione vowed to deal with him after.
"Are you sure about that, I mean Hermione doesn't look particularly happy with what you said." Sue mockingly asked.
Harry turned back to Sue, looking at her with dead eyes and smiled slightly. "She's just unhappy that I hadn't already corrected you. Besides-"
At that point Hermione's patience snapped as she stood up and looked at them both with murder in her eyes. "Okay, that's it! Both of you better get out of here right now!"
Harry and Sue looked at her in alarm and ran for their lives. Hermione didn't give chase though, as she turned to the other person she was annoyed with, and the only one who hadn't run away.
Ron's eyes widened as she looked at him.
"Don't think I didn't notice you trying to warn Harry behind my back." Hermione hissed.
Ron whimpered as Hermione grabbed the rest of his unfinished homework. Hermione knew Ron well enough by now to know that forcing him to do all of his homework with no break was the greatest form of revenge there was.
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Despite Hermione's outburst, the two continued arguing.
"Malfoy clearly belongs in Slytherin. To suggest he should be in Gryffindor is the most disgusting thing you've ever said!"
Every single day. They would argue for hours.
"Phione is not a Mythical Pokémon!"
Every time it would be a different topic, and sometimes they would have insane positions.
"I think we should use guns instead of wands. Imagine a killing curse bullet."
Hermione didn't understand why they continued to do this, until she spoke to Ron about it.
She'd been venting to Ron about it. They would argue every day without fail, and half the time it was in the library. Every single time it would get on her nerves, and asking them about it had gone nowhere. Then however, Ron interrupted her ranting with one simple sentence.
"They're flirting." Ron said calmly.
"What." Hermione replied flatly.
Ron nodded "Yeah I know, it's weird. They like to argue, get heated up from it then find a broom closet to make out in - apparently it makes the snogging even better, at least according to Harry. Harry said they also just enjoy arguing with each other." he shrugged after that.
Hermione just stared at him in confusion for a few seconds as Ron calmly waited for her response.
"How is that flirting? Look, I'm no expert in romance and all but even I know what is and isn't flirting."
Ron shrugged again "I mean, this is Harry we're talking about. You and I both know he doesn't do normal, what's to say dating is any different for him?"
Hermione shook her head. "So I've been hearing them flirt for the past month? How is it flirting for them to argue about crisps, or whether Blaise is a guy or a girl or ... or about my middle name!"
Ron looked a bit amused now. "Oh yeah, Harry said they argued about your name to troll you."
Hermione just about looked ready to murder someone, preferably Harry.
"Look, I know it's been a bit annoying for you but if you ask them to keep it out of the library and not constantly argue in front of you then it should be fine." Ron suggested.
Hermione looked at him "You argue with me all the time. Do you flirt like that as well?"
Ron's eyes widened in alarm as his face turned bright red "What? No, not at all! Not to say you're not attractive or anything, you're beautiful even, but I don't argue to flirt."
Ron then realised what he had said and looked deeply embarrassed. Hermione on the other hand was quite red, but not from anger this time.
She smiled at him "Well I'm glad. Unlike Harry I prefer to be complimented." Hermione then took a deep breath and continued "Thank you by the way, I think you're beautiful too."
Both of them were red and smiling now.
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Meanwhile at the other side of the castle, Harry and Sue left a broom closet where they'd been making out for the past half an hour.
Grinning at Harry, Sue told him that tomorrow's argument would be about planes. After a quick parting kiss, Harry was on his way back to Gryffindor. It had been Sue's turn to choose the argument theme.
He quickly told Dobby to get him a book on planes, and grinned at the thought of tomorrow.
In truth, the first time Harry and Sue argued was an actual argument. He hadn't heard her speak before, but it seemed that Sue just hadn't been confident in talking to others. Once she'd started arguing with Harry though that had all changed.
The second time they argued however had somehow led to them making out, and now it was something Harry looked forward to. Harry had a feeling most couples weren't like this, but he never was like most people so did it really matter?
As Harry entered the common room, he found only Ron and Hermione in there - and they were making out. Seeing that only made his smile larger, and so he snuck past them. He was happy to leave them to do their own thing.
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Eventually Harry and Sue would argue less and settle into a more ... normal ... relationship. They'd still argue from time to time, but only to spice things up. Hermione had come to realise that they truly did love and care for one another following the third task, when Voldemort had returned.
Hermione had asked Sue what she thought about it all, as she knew they disagreed on everything.
Except, Sue had made it very clear she 100% believed Harry.
"We argue about random things for fun and because it get's us both heated up. But I know Harry, and I know when he's telling the truth. This is one thing I won't argue on."
After that, Sue showered her boyfriend in love and affection. When Harry returned to the common room covered in lipstick, Hermione simply smiled. Things would get worse but for now there was some happiness.
By this point Hermione had also forgiven them both for annoying her, and they'd stopped arguing in the library. She also couldn't be mad when they had unintentionally led to her getting with Ron.
She knew there would be a lot of hardship and struggle in the future, but Hermione couldn't help but feel optimistic - because regardless of everything, there was no argument that they were going to win (even if that meant having Harry kill Voldemort by arguing him to death, and not in a flirty way.)