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Shin opens his eyes, but finds mostly darkness. All his holo windows are dead, leaving him in the dark cockpit, with only a small sliver of light from the slightly open canopy. He appears to be on his side, almost upside down–it's making him dizzy.
He can’t recall how he’s come to be here; he’d been fighting the Legion, he knows that much, but the exact events that led him here are foggy.
Not like it matters.. He thinks.
He pries the hatch open enough to get out, Undertaker seems to be completely unresponsive, so his first move should be assessing the damage.
Wait… his first move should probably be to contact his squadron–and his commander.
Lena…
Shin reaches up, brushing his fingers over his RAID device… but it doesn’t respond. So either there’s no one to contact… or the device is broken. Either way it isn’t helping him.
He cuts himself free of the seatbelt–and promptly tumbles out of the sideways cockpit. Shin gets to his feet, surprised by how dizzy the act makes him–just how long was he in that position?
Anyway….
Shin appears to be in some forest. Undertaker is in an awful state; on its side with a few legs missing, smoke rising from places it shouldn’t be, and the hatch had been partly open because it, too, is damaged. There’s a dragpath in the dirt from where it skidded into this spot. And judging from the nearby cliff, and the hole in the canopy of the trees… he could surmise some of what had happened.
He’s going to get an earful, but for now he just needs to find his way back. He turns, and starts walking, picking a direction where he hears no Legion.
After all… there’s his pride to consider. And if he dies here… he won’t get to see her again. And his death will sadden her, she would cry for him. There is nothing in the world he wants less.
So he has to make it back, there’s no other option.
It’s after only a few steps he realizes just how hard that will be.
The dizziness from being nearly upside down doesn’t go away; instead, it intensifies. It’s only then that he becomes aware of a burning pain in his side. And when he touches it… his hand comes away red. Shin looks down in horror, and the sight that greets him…
Blood. His blood, and far too much of it.
Somehow, with shaking hands, he manages to peel away his flight suit to get a better look at the wound.
It’s bad, seeping scarlet far too quickly, and it looks as if something is… embedded in it. A piece of debris or shrapnel, something that managed to slip through Undertaker’s slightly open hatch.
He’s in the middle of the woods, alone. With a broken down Reginleif and Para RAID. And now at a very high risk of bleeding out.
But… I said I would…
Shin grits his teeth, sheds the upper layer of his flightsuit, and with hands that are shaking even more cuts away at his undershirt–it's already bloody and torn anyway. He uses the fabric to wrap around his wound, securing it as a makeshift bandage.
It does nothing for the debris actively tearing up his insides, but… it’ll do.
Shin starts walking–more of a barely controlled stumble really, but he’s managing. He doesn’t really know where he’s going–mostly in the opposite direction of any Legion he can hear, hoping that means there are people instead… or that there’s nothing. But one way is certain death, and the other is only possible death, so he picks the latter.
Every step falls harder than the last, every breath draws up a burning in his lungs, and an iron taste rises up from his throat. He begins to notice his head is also hurting, of course he’d also have a concussion.
Shin continues walking.
He’s getting colder, his legs are shaking, it hurts to breathe. Did the debris damage his lungs?
The woods feel endless, and his hope is bleeding out faster than he is.
Even as death is rapidly approaching, Shin, a proud eighty-six, will not submit. He marches on, for his pride, or that’s what he tells himself. Pride has been his purpose for being alive all this time, but a new reason has surfaced of late.
Her voice, her smile, the way she says his name. Pride was why he kept breathing, but Lena… made him human.
An image flashes before his eyes: Lena in tears—because of him, he knows.
I don’t… want that.
Just. Keep. Walking.
“Come back to me, whatever it takes.”
He thinks he remembers her saying that at some point, or maybe he made it up. Even if it’s imagined, he can still hear it vividly in his mind—in that clear silver bell, chiming as his guide.
Finally, the edge of the woods. Less fortunate, he doesn’t see any people—just a wide open field. If an enemy shows up, he’s sure to be gunned down, or beheaded and assimilated. But right now, he doesn’t hear anything, so he proceeds.
He has to be getting close now, it’s unfair if he isn’t. If the world is even a little less cruel than he thinks, if it’s even a margin closer to Lena’s view than his, then he can’t die like this.
So why…do his legs give out? Why can’t he get up? Why is he left to feel the life slipping out of him, spreading around him on the grass?
“Whatever it takes.”
“I…tried so hard…”
He coughs and it’s wet with blood. His cheek is pressed into the grass, his hands curl into fists. It’s not fair. It’s not fair that he’s dying right when he finally decides he wants to live. It’s not fair that his wishes and dreams are being snatched away right when he learns to have them.
His eyes are falling shut. Is he passing out? Or is this the end? Either way he can’t exactly fight it. He tried… if nothing else he tried.
“I’m…sorry…” he lacks the strength to address the person he’s apologizing to… but he hopes she knows he’s sorry anyway.
Just as the darkness is closing in… Shin senses something, even if the fall of their steps doesn’t make much sound. Something is approaching him, more than one in fact. For a moment he’s overcome with fear—not only is he dying, but now he’s going to be assimilated?
But… then there are footsteps, then there are voices. That’s how he realizes he didn’t hear any other kind of voice.
They aren’t Legion.
“Shin! Ah shit—Anju, go get help!”
He doesn’t hear Anju’s reply, maybe he addressed her over the para RAID. The footsteps run over to him, and Shin is moved onto his back.
He can just barely see them—but knows them well enough to recognize them even as blurs of color.
“You…found—” more bloody coughing overtakes the rest of his words.
“Don’t force yourself to talk!” Raiden scolds him.
“I brought a first aid kit but… will it help?” Theo asks. Shin assumes he kneels in the grass, but his vision is turning black around the edges.
“It’s fine! Give it here.”
Raiden puts pressure on the wound, it hurts like hell, Shin chokes out a half scream. The debris is still there, they’re probably worried taking it out will make him bleed out faster.
“Stay with us, Shin!” Says Kurena. It sounds like she’s crying.
I’m trying… but there’s only so much I can do…
His eyes want so badly to close, but he knows if they do there’s a chance they’ll never open again. He doesn’t want that, he wants to live, but… the fight is so hard he’s beginning to lose sight of why he’s even bothering with it.
But those around him aren’t so keen on letting him surrender.
“Hey you heard her, stay with us!” Says Theo, his voice wavering slightly. Shin must truly look awful. “We went to all the trouble of looking for you when you got blown off that cliff. But Undertaker was all busted and empty when we found it–don’t you know you should stay in one place when you’re lost?”
“Don’t yell at him, Theo!” Cries Kurena.
“Nah… keep talking, I think you have his attention.” Says Raiden.
Yes… he’s finding it easier to stay awake (alive?) listening to them.
Theo looks down into Shin’s face–or at least it seems that way.
“We followed your…trail to find you–but we’re here now! So you can stop please.” An attempt at a joke, and it almost works, Shin would laugh if he wasn’t dying.
Unfortunately… the almost laugh turns into a very real cough, one that steals his strength. He’s barely holding on now, and it hurts so much. Fighting is…hard, and he’s been doing so for ages…
“Hey hey!” Raiden shouts, seeing his eyes start to roll back, “she’s waiting for you to come back you know!”
Shin manages to lock his eyes onto Raiden, who smiles.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought, you damn love sick puppy. Wanna hear what she has to say?”
Shin gathers everything he has to nod.
“She’s been talking my ear off since we started looking for you. Clearly your RAID device is busted or you would have heard her–and I’ve got a message for you.”
Raiden looks him in the eyes, and Shin finds his focus even as his very lifeblood is trickling away–for these words, he is transfixed.
“She says…’you aren’t allowed to leave me behind, so… please, come back to me, whatever it takes’.”
Shin’s breath catches, the words are spoken by Raiden, but in his heart they echo in the silver bell.
He doesn’t want to die–not only does he not want to die, he can’t die. That would go against his goal of living to make her smile. He…hasn’t even told her how much she means to him yet, he hasn’t even figured out what these feelings for her are.
Dying is not an option.
“I…” His voice comes out faintly, and while his friends want him to save his strength… they all get the feeling letting him speak now is important.
“I want… to…survive…”
By now… they’re all crying.
“Yeah… that’s good, just hang on.” Says Raiden.
“Tell her… I promise…”
“I will.”
The rumble of an engine draws their attention–that’s followed by the arrival of an armored ambulance, Anju is likely leading them. He’s saved, as long as he can survive the ride to the hospital, and the surgery he’s likely going to need.
He only half hears his friends wish him luck as he’s loaded into the ambulance, his ears ring, his mind is murky. But he’s fighting. As long as he’s breathing, he’ll be fighting. Even if the fight… is to keep breathing.
He keeps holding on, not even letting himself pass out, for fear that if he does he won’t wake up again. So he stays conscious through the pain, through his eyes begging to close. Until he makes it to the operating table.
A mask is strapped to his face once he arrives, bringing to light how difficult breathing has become. Soon a new kind of fog comes over him, the kind brought about by medicine–he has no choice but to succumb to it.
But that’s okay, because he will survive this, he will make it back to her. Whatever it takes, he will keep his promise.
He comes to slowly. One sense at a time.
Smell; medicine, and the excessively clean and disinfected sent he’d come to associate with hospitals.
Taste; this one is more of an absence; he no longer has the taste of iron on his tongue.
Touch; blankets under his hands, the oxygen mask still on his face, an IV itching his arm–but at least he’s alive.
Sight… isn’t back online just yet, as he’s still working up the strength to open his eyes.
And hearing… draws his attention more than all the rest. It’s slow at first, a steady, electronic beeping, followed by a few words; operation, anesthesia… will he be okay.
The voice that asks the last question gives him the strength to open his eyes.
He sees silver and green, slowly the rest of their features take shape.
“Lena…” the sound of his voice barely makes it past the mask, yet still she and Raiden turn.
“You’re awake? You shouldn’t be…” Says Raiden, “too stubborn even for the meds, huh?”
“Shin…” Lena places a hand over her heart. She looks tired, and her hair and clothes are disheveled.
Has she been by his side for… however long he was asleep?
She moves closer, looking worried as she asks the doctor questions he doesn’t pay attention to–mostly because his mind, foggy with medicine, is distracted; captivated by her.
He does catch that he’s awake sooner than expected–and recommended, after his surgery. That explains why he feels so strange. Maybe he woke up just to ensure himself he survived.
And to ensure her. To ease the worry he can see in her even with his still blurred vision.
The doctor leaves, Lena and Raiden stay.
“Later on, the others are gonna come see you.” Says Raiden, “hospital is only allowing a few visitors, since you just got out of surgery–I promised them later so they wouldn’t beat down the door.”
Shin manages a laugh even as it hurts. His eyes–the only part of him currently able to move, shift to look at Lena, who still hasn’t said anything. Raiden clears his throat.
“I’m gonna go let the others know you woke up. Go back to sleep soon though, okay?”
He leaves. And even hindered by a mind still hazy from surgery, Shin can tell he did so to give the two of them a moment alone.
Lena clears her throat, looking a bit awkward. Shin doesn’t feel that way, but he is on some very strong medication, so some of his capacity for embarrassment is absent.
He tries to sit up, Lena makes him stop. She gets even closer, and that’s when he flushes a bit–but she’s only doing so to better hear him.
“I know your head is a mess right now… but how are you feeling?”
“I’m...not dying, so thas better than before.”
Lena exhales. Shin feels bad she was so worried about him.
“I’m glad.” She smiles, and it looks genuine.
“It was cause of you, you know.”
“Me? What do you…?” He’s probably imagining it, but it almost looks like she blushes.
“It's cause of what you said that I made it back.” Yes his filter is entirely gone, he would never so blatantly admit this sober. “Come back…whatever it takes. I was able to hang on cause of that…and you.”
Now she blushes for sure, but Shin is falling back asleep, so he doesn’t notice. Relieved to be alive, happy to be talking to her… he feels he can rest now. Even the voices feel distant.
“Raiden…told you I said that? But I didn’t… Nevermind. Rest, Shin. I’ll… I’ll stay with you.” Lena says, and Shin doesn’t have much choice but to follow her instructions.
But before he goes.
“Oh and… I’m glad you made it back.”
He thinks she might have said “to me”, but it could have been his imagination. And in the next moment he’s asleep and not thinking about that or anything else.
“I can’t believe Raiden told him…” Lena whispers to herself, sitting beside Shin as he sleeps.
As she’d been remotely commanding the operation to rescue him, she… may have muttered those words to herself, just as they started to follow the scarlet trail from the abandoned Undertaker. She’d been so overcome with worry, it just…slipped out.
“Don’t you dare leave me behind. Please, come back to me…whatever it takes.”
She didn’t know Raiden picked up on it, she didn’t know he’d tell Shin she said it! She’d been connected to Anju and talking to the medics–trying to get a location to send the ambulance–when Raiden and the others were with him, so she didn’t hear the conversation.
Lena buries her face in her hands and groans. But… then she starts listening to the sound of the heart monitor steadily beeping. She lowers her hands, and raises her eyes from the floor to the bed. Where his chest rises and falls, where the mask fogs, and unfogs with each breath.
Signs of life, and if her words, embarrassing as they were, are the reason those signs are still there… She can accept that.