Chapter Text
Felix sat slumped in the back of the old family van, his shoulder jammed against the cool glass of the window like it was the only thing keeping him from sliding to the floor.
At seventeen almost eighteen years old Felix felt every mile of this cross-country move in his bones. The seatbelt dug into his hip, but he didn't bother fixing it.
Outside, Vermont rolled by in endless green: thick trees, mountains that looked like they belonged in a postcard, open fields stretching forever under a gray spring sky.
A raindrop hit the window and started its slow crawl down, racing another one. Felix tracked it with his eyes, half-listening to "Numb" by Giveon leaking softly from his headphones. The beat was steady, the lyrics wrapping around his brain the way they always did when things felt off.
Music had been his escape since he was a kid. Not that his life was some big tragedy. It wasn't. He actually loved his family. Loud, messy, always in each other's shit but real.
Up front, his dad gripped the wheel with both hands, eyes locked on the winding road like he was driving through enemy territory. Mom sat shotgun, phone in her lap, probably scrolling through moving confirmations or trying not to get emotional again.
Rachel and Olivia were in the middle row, mid-argument about something dumb probably whose turn it was to pick the next playlist or who forgot the phone chargers.
Their voices sliced through the van, but Felix tuned most of it out. Next to him, Christopher or Channie to everyone who mattered sat scrolling on his phone, earbuds in but probably not playing anything.
He was twenty-two now, the oldest of the "kids," and quiet for once, which was rare. Channie was never quiet. Felix glanced over. His cousin looked the same as always: hoodie half-zipped, blonde curls sticking out under the hood, that permanent half-smirk like he was two seconds from roasting somebody.
But honestly? Channie wasn't just a cousin anymore. He was more like the brother Felix never knew he needed until he showed up.
The tap on his shoulder came out of nowhere. Felix pulled one earbud out.
"Bro," Channie said, voice low so the front seats wouldn't catch it, raising an eyebrow. "You've been really quiet. Usually I can't get you to shut up even if I paid you."
Felix let out a short laugh and nudged him hard with his elbow. "Yeah, yeah. I'm just... taking it all in, man. It's so different from Cali. Like, where the hell are the beaches? This is gonna be a straight-up culture shock for real."
Channie nodded, glancing out the window. "Yeah... I've counted like twenty cows already. Twenty-one if you count that fat one by the fence back there."
"I counted twenty-two," Olivia called back, twisting around in her seat with a smirk. She was fifteen, all energy and zero filter now that her braces were finally off.
Channie scoffed. "No, you didn't. You were too busy arguing with Rachel about who gets the bigger bedroom." Olivia grinned wider. "You forgot to count yourself, genius. Moo."
Rachel burst out laughing from the seat next to her, slapping her knee. She was nineteen, the oldest sister, and never missed a chance to pile on. "Oh my god, Liv, that was actually decent. I'm stealing that one for later."
Felix snorted, trying not to lose it completely. "Nah, that was kinda good." Channie rolled his eyes so hard Felix thought they might stick. "Wow. Real funny. All of you. Hilarious. Wake me up when we get there, assholes."
He yanked his hoodie over his eyes and slumped lower, arms crossed tight like he was daring the world to keep talking. The next thirty minutes dragged like forever. Nothing but open land, wooden fences, and more cows than Felix had seen in his entire life.
Every time Rachel cracked her window for "fresh air," the smell rolled in heavy... manure, wet grass, dirt. "Close it!" Felix groaned, waving a hand in front of his face.
"I need fresh air!" Rachel shot back, not even looking at him. She had the window halfway down like a dog on a road trip. "That is NOT fresh air, Rach. That's straight cow shit air. Roll it up before I throw up in the van."
Olivia cracked up again, leaning into Rachel's shoulder. "He's right. It smells like a farm exploded out there."
Channie groaned from under his hoodie, voice muffled. "Y'all are dramatic. I've smelled worse in the foster homes back in the day. This is just... nature."
The word hung there for a second. Nobody jumped in. Even the music in Felix's earbuds felt quieter. Eventually the van slowed and turned onto a narrower road.
Felix sat up a little straighter, peeling his shoulder off the glass. A wooden sign slipped past: Lakewood Drive. It sounded kinda nice, actually. Peaceful. The kind of name that belonged on a Christmas card, not real life in 2026.
The driveway was long way longer than anything back in California. Gravel crunched under the tires as the van rolled forward, trees closing in on both sides like they were either welcoming them or trapping them. Felix's stomach did a weird flip. This was it. New house. New state. New everything.
And then they saw it. The house stood at the end of the quiet, tree-lined street like it had been there forever. A true 80s house, built back in 1986 when people still wanted homes that looked like something out of a storybook instead of sleek glass boxes.
Warm red brick walls glowed under the late-afternoon light filtering through the massive oak trees overhead. Dark timber beams cut across the exterior in that classic style steep gables rising sharp into the sky, the roof patched with moss in places, like the house had decided it wasn't bothering with any updates since the invention of bread.
It didn't look modern. It didn't look renovated. It looked untouched, like time had moved on to 2026 everywhere else but right here the calendar stopped somewhere around the late 80's.
Felix stared hard. The diamond-paned windows with their heavy wooden frames reflected the gray sky back at him, some of them faintly glowing from inside like someone had left a lamp on just for them.
The main entrance sat tucked under a deep brick arch, the heavy carved wooden door looking like it weighed more than the whole van. A black iron lantern hung right above it, probably the original one from when the house was brand new.
Two small evergreens stood guard on either side of the shallow stone steps, and bright orange flowers spilled out of big terracotta pots... vivid pops of color against all the green and brick.
Felix could already picture his mom buying those exact six-packs at the garden center every September, same as she did back in California.
A winding flagstone path, stones uneven and softened with years of moss in the cracks after four decades, led up to the front door.
Neat hedges and lush ferns framed the whole approach, still damp from the earlier rain. On the left, a big bay window jutted out, its glass catching what little sunlight there was and throwing tiny rainbows across the brick.
The van rolled to a stop. For a second nobody moved. Just the engine ticking as it cooled down.
"Wow," Olivia said finally, unbuckling her seatbelt fast. "It's... big. Like, bigger than the pictures Mom showed us."
Rachel leaned forward between the front seats, eyes wide. "Dad, you said it was a fixer-upper. That doesn't look fixed up at all. It looks like it's been sitting here since the Reagan administration."
Their dad killed the engine and turned around with a tired grin. "That's kinda the point, kiddo. Built in '86. Original everything... brick, timber, the works. Your mom and I figured we could put our own stamp on it. Make it ours after all these years."
Mom reached over and squeezed his hand. "It's got good bones. And look at that yard. The girls can finally have that garden you two have been begging for since we left California."
Channie pushed his hoodie back and sat up straight, staring out the window with wide eyes. "Bro. There's no beach. There's literally no ocean anywhere. I'm gonna die here. Slowly. Of boredom."
Felix laughed despite the knot in his chest. "You'll survive, man. We all will. Come on, let's check it out before it gets dark and we're stuck unloading in the rain."
They piled out of the van one by one. The air hit Felix like a slap...cool, damp, full of pine and earth and that same faint cow smell drifting from the fields nearby. He stretched his arms over his head, headphones still dangling around his neck. At his age, he felt too old for this kind of fresh start but too young to complain out loud.
The stoned path felt solid under his sneakers as he walked up it, the others trailing behind with bags and chatter.
Channie fell in step right beside him, shoulder bumping his. "You good? For real this time?"
Felix shrugged, hands in his pockets. "Yeah. Just... weird, you know? California was easy ...beaches, city lights, everything right there. This feels like we're stepping into somebody else's life."
"Tell me about it," Channie muttered, voice dropping. "Last time I moved into a new house I was fifteen and my parents had just... you know." He didn't finish it. He never did. The plane crash on their anniversary trip to Hawaii.
Hannah and Lucas getting adopted quick by some rich family down south. Channie left bouncing around foster homes until Felix's parents said screw the system we're taking him.
West coast life had swallowed him whole after that: surfing every weekend, bonfires on the beach, late-night Vegas runs with the family. He fit right in. Now here they were in Vermont, starting over again in a house that looked like it hadn't changed since Channie was born.
Rachel and Olivia were already at the front door, arguing over who got to turn the big iron handle first. "I'm older!" Rachel said, elbowing her sister.
"By like four years, and that doesn't count when it's a new house," Olivia fired back, fifteen and full of fight. Their dad laughed, pulling the key from his pocket with a jingle. "How about we all go in together? First family walk-through. No fighting until we're inside."
The door creaked open loud and dramatic, like it hadn't been used in months. Inside, the air smelled like old wood and faint lemon polish someone had probably sprayed before they arrived.
Hardwood floors stretched out, scuffed in places but solid as hell. A big staircase curved up to the second floor, the banister dark and heavy like it belonged in an old movie.
Sunlight slanted through diamond-paned windows, catching dust floating in the air.
Felix stepped in last, Channie right beside him. The living room opened up on the left a big brick fireplace already stacked with logs like someone had prepped it for cold Vermont nights.
The kitchen was straight ahead, all 80s oak cabinets and tile counters that somehow still looked cool in a retro way, not dated.
"Damn," Channie whispered, looking around. "This place is straight out of an old thriller. Like, the kind where the family moves in and then weird shit starts happening at night."
Felix elbowed him. "Don't jinx it. I need this to be boring for once. No drama. Just normal high school senior year shit."
Olivia was already bounding up the stairs two at a time. "Dibs on the room with the bay window! It's huge and I saw it first in the pictures!"
Rachel chased after her, laughing. "No way, I called it first in the car! you get the smaller one!"
Their mom sighed happily from the foyer, setting her bag down. "Boys, go pick your rooms before they claim everything good. Your dad and I will start unloading the van."
Felix and Channie headed upstairs together. The hallway was long, lined with doors that all looked heavy and old. They poked into a couple smaller ones with slanted ceilings, bigger ones with built-in shelves that screamed "perfect for video games, snacks, and hiding from the sisters."
Channie stopped in front of the one at the end of the hall. "This one's got the best view. Trees everywhere. I can pretend I'm still back home... except no ocean and no decent waves."
Felix leaned in the doorway next to him, arms crossed. "We'll make it work. You, me, the girls. Same as always. Just... greener. And colder. And with way more wild animals."
Channie nodded, but his eyes were far away for a second. "Yeah. Same as always. Even if I'm twenty-two and technically too old to be living with my aunt and uncle still."
Downstairs, their dad's voice carried up the stairs. "Pizza's on the way! Extra cheese, pepperoni... the works! First night tradition, even in Vermont!"
Rachel yelled back from somewhere down the hall, "Extra cheese or we riot up here!"
Felix smiled despite the knot still sitting in his chest. The house was quiet around them, but not empty.
It felt like it had been waiting... watching, almost. He was ready for whatever came next. He wasn't sure if that was comforting or low-key terrifying.
But they were here. All of them. Together.
That had to count for something.
Most of the doors were still closed, but Felix could still hear Olivia and Rachel fighting over something two rooms down probably closet space or who got the better view.
Felix stopped at the door right next to the one Channie had claimed. "This one's mine," he said, not even asking. He pushed the door open and left it wide behind him so the hallway light spilled in.
He stepped inside and froze. "Holy shit..." The room was huge. Way bigger than the shoebox bedrooms they'd had back in California. His parents had money his mom was an open-heart surgeon, and his dad climbed the ladder in corporate sales for one of the big tech-adjacent companies so they'd always lived in nice houses.
But even with decent money in Cali, nothing felt decent-sized unless you were straight-up Kardashian rich. Their old place had been big, sure, but the rooms still felt cramped, like every inch was fighting for space.
This room? This was different. Felix let out a low whistle and turned in a slow circle. The ceilings were higher than he expected, the walls painted a soft off-white that had probably been there since the house was built in '86.
Late afternoon light came through the big window, catching more dust in the air. He slid his finger across the windowsill. A thin layer of dust came off not enough to be gross, but enough that he knew his mom was gonna lose her mind tomorrow. She'd have all of them spring-cleaning before the moving truck even showed up with the real furniture.
Tonight was sleeping-bag night. Air mattresses, blankets, whatever they dragged in from the van. They'd brought a few personal boxes to make it feel "homey" Felix's comics, some vinyl, his Funko collection. The rest could wait.
He kept walking around the room. One whole wall had a built-in bookcase, dark wood shelves that looked original to the 80s house. Perfect for displaying his things. He could already picture the setup.
Then he turned and spotted the attached bathroom through an open doorway. "No fucking way..." Double sinks. A massive walk-in shower with a full glass wall.
It looked like something that belonged in a master suite, not a teenager's bedroom. Felix stepped in and ran his hand over the cold tile. The fixtures were dated brass that had gone a little dull over the decades but it was still bigger and nicer than the bathroom he'd shared with Channie back in California.
He backed out and found the closet next.
It was massive. Practically a walk-in. Shelves on one side, hanging rods on the other, deep enough that he could probably fit a small couch in there if he wanted.
Felix stood there grinning like an idiot, then immediately shut the door and made a mental note to keep his mouth shut. If he said one word about it out loud, Rachel would come sprinting down the hall, argue until she was blue in the face, and then go whine to their dad. Rachel was nineteen, the oldest, the first-born, and a total daddy's girl.
Their dad would probably cave and make Felix switch rooms just to keep the peace. Felix loved her to pieces, but she could be a lot. Their dad was stricter with Felix than with the girls Felix got it, though. He never thought his dad was a horrible person for it. Just... different.
Felix went back to the big window and stared down the long driveway. From up here he could see two or three other houses further down Lakewood Drive. They had the same 80s flair the red brick, dark timber, steep gables but the neighbors had clearly lived there longer.
A couple had modern updates: new garage doors, solar panels on one roof, a sleek metal fence on another. His own house looked untouched by comparison still frozen in time.
He leaned his forehead against the cool glass. "I can't wait to take my skateboard out ," he muttered to himself. "Explore the neighborhood while the sun sets. Maybe Channie will come with me..."
A hand clamped down on his shoulder from behind. Felix jumped so hard he banged his knee on the windowsill and let out a loud yell. "What the fuck, Christopher!"
Channie stepped back, laughing so hard he had to hold his stomach. "Got you, bro. You should've seen your face."
Felix spun around, heart still hammering. "You're lucky I didn't punch you, asshole. I already had a cold chill and goosebumps the second I walked in here. You just made it worse."
Channie giggled... actually giggled like he was fifteen again instead of twenty-two. "Why? You think Casper or the boogeyman is hiding in the closet? This big old 80s house probably has all kinds of secrets."
"Not funny," Felix said, rubbing the spot on his shoulder where Channie had grabbed him. He hated the dark. Not just the dark itself, but whatever might be lurking in it. Always had. Ever since he was little.
Channie leaned against the doorframe, still smirking. "You better cover up real tight tonight, sunshine boy. Or they're gonna get you while you're sleeping on that air mattress."
Felix shot him a glare. "Can you stop? You know how I feel about the dark and being alone in new places. Keep going and you're gonna be the one snuggled up with me on the floor like we're kids again."
Channie raised both hands in mock surrender, but his grin didn't fade. "Alright, alright. I'll stop. For now." He glanced around the room, taking it in. "Damn, this is actually nice. Bigger than your old room. You got your own bathroom too? That's cheating."
Felix shrugged, trying to play it cool even though he was still buzzing from the scare. "It's decent. The bookcase is perfect for my stuff. And the closet..." He caught himself and shut his mouth fast.
Channie's eyes narrowed. "What about the closet?" "Nothing. It's fine. Normal size. "Bullshit. You got that look. Show me." Felix shook his head. "Nope. Not happening. If I say anything, Rachel's gonna hear and start World War Three trying to trade rooms. She's already fighting Olivia over the bay window one. I'm not dealing with that tonight."
Channie laughed again, quieter this time. "Smart. She's been in your dad's ear since we left California. 'But I'm the oldest, Dad...'" He did a high-pitched impression of Rachel that was scarily accurate.
Felix snorted. "Exactly. And Dad always softens up for her. Me? I get the 'you're almost eighteen, act like it' speech. Mom's the one who babies me sometimes, but even she's been strict lately with the move."
They both went quiet for a second, listening to the girls' voices echoing from down the hall Olivia yelling something about "fairness" and Rachel firing back with "I called it first in the car!"
Channie walked over and stood next to Felix at the window. "You gonna take your skateboard out tonight? It's gonna be pitch black out here. Barely any streetlights not like back home."
Felix nodded. "Yeah. I need to move. Clear my head. This whole thing still feels weird. New house, new state, senior year starting soon... You coming with me or what?"
Channie thought about it, then shrugged. "Maybe. If you promise not to scream like a little bitch every time an owl hoots." "Fuck you," Felix said, but he was smiling now.
Downstairs, their mom's voice carried up. "Boys! Come help unload the air mattresses and blankets from the van before it gets dark!"
Felix pushed off the windowsill. "Come on. Let's go."
As they headed for the door, Felix took one last look around the big room. Then flicked the light switch on, leaving the overhead fixture burning bright even though it was still daylight. Just in case.
Felix and Channie came downstairs just as their dad was waving Mom off from the heavy lifting. "Let the guys handle the van," Dad said, voice relaxed after the long drive. "You go ahead and put stuff where you want it. Or rearrange it five times like usual."
Mom laughed, already eyeing the empty rooms with that focused surgeon stare. "You never did have an eye for decorating. Remember the color swatches? You'd stare at them for an hour, then I'd still pick what I wanted anyway."
Dad shrugged with a grin. "Exactly. Stresses me out. You're the boss on how the house looks."
Channie went straight for the van and unstrapped his surfboard from the roof rack.
The bright board looked ridiculous in Vermont it had palm tree stickers faded from years of salt and sun. He carried it carefully anyway. It was a birthday gift from his uncle—Felix's dad—back when Channie had first moved in at fifteen.
Memories stuck to it tighter than wax. Felix grabbed boxes labeled in thick Sharpie and started hauling them inside. They stacked the kitchen ones on the counters, the living room stuff by the brick fireplace, and the personal boxes at the bottom of the stairs for tomorrow when the real moving truck arrived.
Finally they pulled out the pillows, blankets, sleeping bags, and the flat air mattress boxes for tonight. Felix also grabbed his favorite skateboard the bright yellow one with the skeleton riding while wearing headphones.
He liked this short board way more than his longboard, which he planned to hand over to Channie soon. The longboard would suit Channie's taller frame better for cruising around the neighborhood.
They brought everything in and stacked the sleep stuff in the living room just as an old, beat-up sedan pulled up the long driveway. The Pizza Hut sign on top looked faded, and the delivery guy who stepped out was probably mid-twenties, eyes glassy, moving slow like he was floating. He looked high out of his mind, but the pizzas were on time.
Felix called toward the living room, "Dad! Money's on the key table by the door, right?"
"Right on the key table!" Dad shouted back. "Twenty should cover it."
Felix found the folded bill and handed it over as the guy passed him the warm boxes. The smell of cheese and pepperoni filled the foyer. The delivery guy took the cash, then paused, looking past Felix at the warm red brick and dark timber beams of the house. "Thanks, man. Your house is dope as fuck. Real old-school vibes."
Felix nodded, balancing the pizzas. "Thanks. We just moved in today." The guy's eyes lingered on the steep gables and the untouched look of the place. He let out a low chuckle. "Yeah... I grew up around here. Heard some stuff about this house. A lot of people have moved into it over the years. They never stay long."
Felix felt a cold prickle run up his arms. "What do you mean?" The guy shrugged, already heading back to his rattling car. "Just what people say. Families come, families go. Something about the place not liking new people or whatever. Probably bullshit. Enjoy the pizza."
He gave a lazy wave and drove off down the driveway. Channie stepped up beside Felix in the doorway, surfboard still tucked under his arm. "What was that?" Felix forced a laugh. "Nothing. Dude was baked. Said the house is cool but people don't stay long. Probably just messing with the new kid."
Channie raised an eyebrow, glancing out at the empty driveway. "Or maybe this house has some stories after forty years. You already had goosebumps upstairs. Now the pizza guy's dropping hints oooooo spooky?"
"Don't start," Felix said, shoving one of the pizza boxes at him. "And don't say anything to the girls. Rachel will blow it up, and Olivia's already excited enough about the new yard."
They carried the pizzas into the kitchen, where Mom was clearing space on the oak island. Dad and the girls were in the living room unrolling one of the air mattresses, the pump humming loud.
"Food's here!" Felix announced, setting the boxes down. Olivia bounced over first. "Extra cheese? Please tell me there's extra cheese." Rachel was right behind her, sniffing the air. "If there's pineapple on any of these, I'm done with this family." Dad laughed from the other room. "No pineapple. I know my kids."
They all gathered around the island, eating standing up on paper plates the way they always did on moving nights greasy fingers, talking over each other. Channie kept the surfboard propped against the wall. Felix's yellow skateboard leaned nearby, the skeleton graphic staring back.
But every few minutes Felix's eyes drifted to the front windows and the long driveway disappearing into the trees. The delivery guy's words kept looping in his head.
A lot of people have moved into this house. They never stay long. He shook it off and grabbed another slice. It was just some stoned Pizza Hut guy talking shit on his first night, nothing more.
Still, when the sun started dropping and the shadows stretched longer across the brick outside, Felix made sure every light he passed stayed on.
They finished eating, the last slices of pepperoni and cheese disappearing fast. Mom pushed herself away from the island with a tired sigh and started clearing the mess, stacking empty pizza boxes and greasy napkins onto the kitchen island.
She grabbed a paper towel from one of the open van boxes and wiped down the oak counters in quick, efficient strokes, like the way she handled everything after a long shift at the hospital.
"Boys, come help me finish setting up the rest of the mattresses in the living room," she called over her shoulder. "We need to get this done before it gets any darker outside."
Channie and Felix stood up, brushing crumbs off their shirts, and grabbed the last two flat boxes. They dragged them across the hardwood floor, the cardboard scraping loudly. The air pump hummed back to life as they tore open the plastic and started inflating the remaining queen mattresses, the loud whoosh filling the space while the plastic slowly puffed up.
Olivia sat cross-legged on the floor nearby, arms crossed tight over her chest, watching them with a frown. "Why can't we just sleep in our rooms tonight? The house is huge. There's literally no reason to camp out down here like this."
Felix didn't even glance up from smoothing out a sleeping bag. "Dad didn't want you scuffing the floors dragging stuff up the stairs. You can barely lift an air mattress box by yourself anyway. Plus, it's tradition. We always do this when we move. First night together, remember?"
Mom tossed the last of the trash into a plastic bag and tied it off. "Hopefully this is the last time. I pray we stay settled here for good this time. No more cross-country hauls."
Dad was on his knees adjusting the corner of one mattress, making sure it sat even. "Agreed. Beds and furniture will be here tomorrow from the truck. One night down here won't kill anybody. We've done worse."
Olivia's voice rose, fifteen-year-old attitude fully dialed in. "I'm fifteen now. I'm too grown to be sleeping in a shared area like we're camping. This is embarrassing. What if someone saw us?"
They didn't give in. Dad straightened up and gave her a steady look, the same one he used when he was done negotiating. "Keep talking back and tomorrow you can stay in your room all day unpacking by yourself while the rest of us explore the town. Your choice, Liv. Make it a good one."
Olivia opened her mouth, then shut it fast, flopping down dramatically onto the floor with a loud huff. "Fine. Whatever."
Channie and Felix claimed one queen air mattress for themselves, the plastic creaking and shifting under their weight as they spread out sleeping bags and tossed pillows around.
Olivia and Rachel took the second queen together, already bickering quietly over who got the better side. Mom and Dad settled on the third one, placed near the brick fireplace but pulled back far enough that the heat wouldn't roast them if they decided to light a fire later.
The living room felt wide open and echoey with just the 3 air mattresses taking up space, a couple of battery lanterns casting soft circles of light, and random boxes scattered everywhere.
No TV had made it off the truck yet, so once the lanterns were turned down low, everyone reached for their phones or iPads.
Mom leaned back against a pillow, legs stretched out, and started scrolling through articles on her phone about Stowe. "Look at this," she said after a minute, tilting the screen toward Dad.
"There's a farmer's market every Saturday. Fresh produce, local honey, all that good stuff. And there's a cute little bookstore downtown that does author events. We should check it out once we're unpacked and not living out of boxes."
Dad glanced over from his own phone, where he was skimming work emails. "Sounds good, as long as it's not another hour-long drive like everything was back in California. I'm done with traffic. This place better have actual quiet roads."
On the boys' mattress, Channie was already deep into Tinder, his thumb swiping across the screen fast and decisive. A small grin crept onto his face as he typed something quick.
He had lost his virginity at seventeen to some brunette at a bonfire in her Volkswagen surfer van back in Cali and Felix had heard the whole detailed story at least three times, complete with the smell of weed and ocean air.
Channie clearly hadn't lost the habit of jumping back into flirting the second he had service. Felix lay on his side, scrolling Instagram without really paying attention to the posts.
The glow from his screen lit up his face in the dim room. He had watched plenty of porn growing up, but by the time he turned thirteen he had figured out he didn't like girls the same way the other guys did.
He was attracted to men. He had told Channie first, heart pounding so hard he thought he might throw up, convinced the whole world was going to collapse around him.
But Channie had been rock solid no judgment, no awkwardness, just a casual "cool, bro, you're still my brother" and a shoulder bump that made everything feel a little less terrifying.
Channie had even helped him come out to the rest of the family later. Dad hadn't been fond of it at first, he was raised in a completely different generation with different expectations, but his love for Felix ran deeper than any discomfort.
He had worked through it, started showing up in the ways that mattered, and even took Felix to his first Pride festival in California when Felix was fifteen.
Dad had stood there in the loud, colorful crowd, looking a little out of place but proud, never once making Felix feel like he had to hide.
Channie nudged Felix's arm now, keeping his voice low enough that the girls and parents wouldn't overhear. "This one girl just messaged me back already. She's cute dark hair, says she likes hiking and trying new breweries.
Might be worth a drive once I get the lay of the land here. Vermont girls, man. Who knew?" Felix smirked, glancing over at Channie's screen. "You just got here today and you're already trying to get laid in Vermont? That's bold, even for you. We haven't even unpacked the boxes yet."
Channie laughed under his breath, the sound low and easy. "What else am I supposed to do out here? No waves, no beach bonfires, no late-night drives to the pier. Gotta find new ways to have fun or I'm gonna lose my mind. You know how I am."
He paused, lowering his phone a little and looking at Felix more seriously. "For real though you doing okay with the move? I know it's hitting different for you. New senior year, new everything. And that pizza guy's comment earlier didn't exactly help your vibe I noticed."
Felix shrugged against the pillow, staring at the ceiling. "Yeah, I'm alright. It's just weird. Everything feels off. New senior year starting soon, this big house that still smells like old wood and dust. The pizza guy saying people don't stay long here... it stuck in my head more than it should. Probably nothing, but still."
Channie lowered his phone completely for a second. "Forget that dude. He was high as hell and just talking shit to sound interesting. This place is solid brick, timber, whatever. We'll make it work. Same as we always do. You've got me, the girls, uncle and auntie. We're all here."
Across the room, Rachel was leaning over to show Olivia something funny on her iPad, both of them giggling quietly, the sound cutting through the quiet house. Mom and Dad kept talking in low voices about local schools and the closest decent grocery store, comparing prices and drive times.
The air mattresses creaked and shifted every time someone rolled over or adjusted their pillow. The old house made its own small noises around them wood groaning softly as it settled for the night, wind tapping gently against the diamond-paned windows like fingers testing the glass.
Felix stared up at the ceiling for a long time, the low lantern light throwing long, soft shadows across the brick fireplace and the high walls. The house felt big and quiet around them in , like it was listening to every creak, every whisper, every breath.
He finally set his phone face-down on the floor beside the mattress and pulled the sleeping bag up higher around his shoulders. Channie was still swiping on Tinder next to him, humming a quiet tune under his breath, completely unbothered.
Tomorrow the moving truck would arrive with the real beds and furniture. Tomorrow they would start turning the house into something that felt like theirs unpacking boxes, arguing over wall colors, filling the rooms with noise and life.
Tonight, though, lying there in the dim light with his family scattered across the living room floor, the shadows stretching just a little longer than they should across the hardwood, Felix couldn't shake the feeling that the house was watching them right back.