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Stacey Aubrey Sevilleja built her life around control.
After college, Stacey chose to stay in Manila for good, practically shoving herself into the harsh, competitive reality of corporate life. She had the brain, the discipline, and the right set of skills to climb the ladder. It would have been easy for her.
But when politics were involved? It was a different kind of challenge.
She pivoted. Corporate politics drained whatever desire she had to climb higher. Instead, she settled into an Event Management Company, working as an Account Executive, handling high-profile corporate clients who demanded just one thing. Absolute perfection. Something she always delivered.
There, she built her life around things she could control.
Managing clients, back-to-back meetings, pitch decks she finished until midnight, and endless revisions. She handled both the idea and its execution.
So, in Stacey’s vocabulary, there was no room for mistakes. Everything had to go according to her plan. It has to be perfect.
One could say that Stacey was exactly where she was supposed to be. A stable career at 28, a fiancé, and a car and condo of her own. She was settled. Just preparing for the day she would get married.
Because that’s how life was supposed to be, right?
Stacey and Mikael? They were great.
They were happy. Or so she thought?
Because if they were, then why was there someone, a woman, inside Mikael’s bedroom? Naked. Wrapped around her fiancé like she belonged there.
Putangina. Tignan mo ‘tong gagong na to. Dalawang araw lang akong nawala.
She was used to things being planned. Controlled. But seeing her man with somebody else? That was never a part of it. She had choices. Demand an explanation. Drag both of them out of that space. But she was Stacey. Control was all she knew, so she left.
Because walking away was the most rational action she could take.
Because if there was one thing Stacey refused to compromise on, it was her worth. And no one, not even her asshole of an ex-fiancé, could shit on that.
The expressway stretched in front of her endlessly, taking the familiar route, an almost 4-hour drive from Pasig to Mauban, Quezon. Stacey had decided the best way to cope wasn’t to mope in her condo but to seek tranquility in a place where the comfort comes from her mother’s cooking, and the serenity of a provincial life.
She remembered childhood memories: hanging out with her elementary and high school friends, exploring their little municipality, saying hi to her ‘tita/tito’ na hindi niya naman talaga kamag-anak, sometimes spending time at the port, just to watch tourists from Manila and nearby towns drag their luggage toward the boat bound to Cagbalete.
Compared to life in the city, life in the province was slower, steadier, and calmer, but it was also too small for Stacey’s big dreams. So, she moved. Her mom, Ivy, didn’t really mind.
After all, Stacey grew up fearless and unstoppable. She had the mindset to charge head-on when it came to things she really wanted.
Then she remembered it again. The scene. Mikael’s betrayal felt like a bullet aimed at her chest. Stacey held the steering wheel too tightly; her knuckles turned white, but she shook her head, trying to push the thought away.
She was driving back home to forget. To erase the memory she never wanted to remember again. So, no. She wouldn’t allow anything to ruin that.
At least, that was what she told herself
The house looked exactly the same. Pamana ng lolo ni Stacey sa nag-iisang anak nito na si Ivy. It was a slightly renovated, modest but inviting 4-bedroom bungalow, painted in white that had faded under the sun. It had an open 2-carport, and a small garden that Ivy loved tending in the morning. No gate, just a stone pathway leading to the porch and the main door.
“Aubrey? Anak?” Stacey parked in the designated area. As soon as she stepped out, Ivy, her mother, greeted her. Looking utterly surprised.
“Hala! Anak ko, ikaw nga,” said Ivy, “Bakit ikaw ay nagawi dito nang wala man lang pasabi?” Ivy patted her hands to the side of her shorts, then proceeded to cup Stacey’s cheeks before pulling her into a hug.
Stacey melted in her mother’s embrace, her lips pressed into a thin line as she tried to remain composed, arms wrapping around her mother’s waist. “Bawal ba kitang bisitahin?” She asked jokingly as she pulled away from her mother’s hug.
Her mother stared at her, reading through the silence. They both knew that was a lie. But they didn’t say anything, and Ivy, she didn’t push.
“Ikaw talaga. Halika na at pumasok muna sa loob. Mamaya natin ipasok ang mga gamit mo,” She looked over her shoulder, peeking at the amount of luggage perfectly arranged on the backseat of Stacey’s car, “Mukhang marami-rami kang dala eh.”
The interior was the same. Cleaned, but felt the same. A lived-in home. A couch that had obviously seen better days, a cluttered center table, photo frames of everyone who had lived inside the very same home, and medals. Stacey’s. Hanging above the mounted television.
Stacey smiled at the sight that greeted her. A warm, gentle feeling hugged her chest in a way that made her relax.
She missed this. Going home.
“Grabe. Tamang-tama ang dating mo anak kasi nagluto kami ng tinola, saktong sakto ka lang para sa pananghalian.” Bungad ni Ivy nang makatungtong sila sa loob ng bahay, Stacey followed closely behind.
Kami?
Bago pa man niya maitanong ang salitang nasa isip, someone beat her to it.
“Ma, saan ko ilalagay itong mga—”
Stacey’s head snapped to the direction of the voice. Standing there, just outside the door across from her old bedroom, was a woman holding a box in her hands. Stacey couldn’t fully see the face, just a pair of doe eyes underneath a thick black rimmed eyeglasses.
She didn’t know this woman.
She didn’t know her mother had anyone else living here.
Her attention snapped to her mother, who wasn’t a tiny bit confused about being called “Ma” by someone else that wasn’t her.
Stacey stilled.
Not knowing how to process the scene unfolding in front of her. She wanted to demand an explanation, but she couldn’t seem to find words. Her mouth remained shut.
“Ay? Umuwi na anak mo, ma?” The thoughts, the voices inside her head disappeared when she heard the same voice again. She looked at her, really looked at her.
The woman put down the box she was holding. Stacey followed her movement and saw the woman barefoot, wearing a comfortable oversized shirt and sleeping shorts. One look and one could tell that the woman lived inside the place.
A woman she didn’t know. Living in their house. Calling her mother ‘Ma’.
From the kitchen, her mom stepped in like this wasn’t the most confusing situation ever. “Ay oo, kakarating lang. Stacey anak, si Jhoanna. Siya ang kasama ko dito sa bahay.”
Stacey’s attention darted from Jhoanna to her mother. She paused. Trying to make sense of the situation she was currently in, pero wala, blangko. She was so sure na consistent naman silang mag-usap ng nanay niya, pero why didn’t a name called Jhoanna ring a bell?
“Sino ‘to, ma? May anak ka bang i—” she started, only to be cut off.
“Hep hep!” Jhoanna stepped in before she could finish her word, not even seconds, she was already in front of Stacey, grinning. “Bago mo pa man itanong ang iniisip mo, no ang sagot. Hindi ako anak ni mama. Relax.”
Stacey crossed her arms, glaring at the woman in front of her. Relax? The word made her jaw tightened.
“Oh? So kung hindi ka pala anak ni mama, bakit ka nandito?! At anong relax, relax sinasabi mo? My mom is literally living with someone I don’t even know. How do you want me to relax?!”
Stacey tapped her foot on the tile, waiting for answers to the questions that had been circling her head since earlier. But instead of answering, Jhoanna turned toward the kitchen, shouting, her voice dripping in disbelief.
“Ma, sabi mo mabait anak mo? Bakit ang sungit nitong dumating? Anak mo ba talaga ‘to?”
Did she just—
Stacey threw Jhoanna a glare. A deadly one. If that even made sense. Her arms crossed over her chest, a scoff threatening to slip out as she found Jhoanna’s remark to be completely absurd.
They had just met, what… not over ten minutes ago? And here she was already calling her masungit. She didn’t know she could hate someone she didn’t even know. And yet, here was Jhoanna, proving her wrong.
A humorless laugh escaped Stacey’s mouth, her head tilting slightly. “Excuse me, baka—”
“You are excused.”
Stacey’s mouth was left hanging wide. The audacity of this woman was unbelievable. For a moment, Stacey stood there frozen, completely flabbergasted.
“Ano ba?! Pwede ba?” She snapped, finally finding her voice. “I don’t even know you, at lalong hindi mo ako kilala para sabihan mo kong masungit.” She was already determined to put Jhoanna in her place instead of allowing her to walk over her.
But before another word escaped her mouth, her mom already said, “Kayong dalawa.” Stacey’s mom cut in, smiling, clearly amused. “Kakakita niyo pa lang, kung mag-away kayo para kayong mag-asawa, aba? Pumarine na kayo nang tayo’y makapagtanghalian na.” Yakag nito sa dalawa.
Sabay namang napalingon ang tingin nina Jhoanna at Stacey sa direksyon ng kusina.
“Ma, naman.”
“Mag-asawa?!?!”
Ivy didn’t bother scolding the two. They were fully grown adults, capable of handling themselves. In fact, she found the two bantering clearly a form of amusement. So, who was she to deprive herself of a new source of entertainment?
She shook her head, scooping a ladle of soup into a bowl before handing it to Stacey on the left side of the table. Jhoanna was seated on her right side, across Stacey.
Tinola had been Stacey’s comfort food. And it should have brought her nothing but comfort the moment she arrived. Should have. Instead, she was there, in a glaring battle with the person across from her, Jhoanna. Looking smug with her grinning face, sitting there completely unbothered by Stacey’s growing irritation.
“Aubrey, anak, kumain ka na muna at mamaya na kayong magtitigan.”
With an annoyed huff, Stacey focused on the food on her plate and pretended it was just her and her mom in the dining room.
Well, she tried.
“Parang mas masarap ang tinola ngayon, ‘no, ma?” Jhoanna said casually, beaming at the older woman before stuffing her mouth with another spoonful of rice covered in broth, topped with a small piece of chicken.
“Ay sus,” Ivy laughed, “Kung makasabi ng ganyan, parang hindi ka pinapakain dito araw-araw.”
“Di e, parang alam mo atang uuwi anak mo ngayon.” Jhoanna glanced up, staring at Stacey.
Something about the way her gaze stayed on Stacey’s felt different. There wasn’t any hint of teasing, of playfulness, just that gentle lingering stare that Stacey couldn’t even name.
And it lingered; the air felt heavier between them. Stacey’s grip tightened around the spoon she was holding. She was sure of it. There was no way in hell she was going to get along with this woman.
“Kumain ka na nga lang. Dami mong sinasabi.”
After what felt like an endless banter between the two women seated across from each other, lunch had finally ended. Stacey’s mom went straight to the sink to wash her hands, while Jhoanna, without saying much, cleared the table and followed to wash the dishes.
Stacey observed Jhoanna quietly, noting how she moved around the kitchen, like she had a routine she had grown accustomed to without being told.
She went home to seek comfort. To relax. Take her mind away from the city where her life had become a complete joke, but now she was here. At home. Dealing with a brewing turmoil she had no idea how to handle.
Wow. Cheers to my life turning into a joke?
With a defeated sigh, Stacey sank into the couch that had existed long before she was born. She leaned on the edge, finding the most comfortable position before taking her phone out of her pocket to doom scroll.
Well, there was nothing else to do. She was on leave, and her work-from-home setup won’t start until next week. So yup. She was in for a vacation.
It was then, in the middle of her IG doom scrolling, that a smell of coffee filled her nose. The space on the other side of the couch sank, making her turn. Jhoanna was there, seated. Unbothered. Breathing in the very same space as her. Blowing on a steaming cup of coffee, brows slightly furrowed in concentration, as if it actually required effort. Like it was the most natural thing to do.
It annoyed Stacey still. For some weird reason.
Seryoso ba yung nagma-mainit na kape after kumain? Ano ‘to siya? Matanda?
As if on cue, Stacey raised an eyebrow, “Ang dami-daming upuan, diyan pa talaga uupo?”
Jhoanna took in the surroundings, checking for another presence inside the room, and when she didn’t see any, she faced Stacey, “Ako ba?” She asked, pointing at herself.
If smoke could come out of someone’s nose and ears because of anger, that could have been the perfect image displaying Stacey’s irritation toward the woman. Everything. Every single thing that Jhoanna had been doing was starting to get on her nerves.
“Ay, hindi. May iba pa sigurong tao dito na umupo kung saan din ako nakaupo, ‘no?” said Stacey, sarcasm dripping in her voice.
Akmang pasagot na si Jhoanna nang lumabas mula sa main bedroom si Ivy. She watched the two figures seated on the couch. Before she could make a teasing remark, Stacey already cut in, “Ma, mag-usap nga tayo.”
Jhoanna remained seated, taking a sip of her coffee while Stacey’s gaze settled on her. Studying. Waiting for her to move. She didn’t.
“Mag-uusap kami ni mama,” Stacey repeated, this time directed to Jhoanna.
Jhoanna, having only taken a few sips, noticed Ivy looking at her before she shifted her attention to Stacey, who was throwing her the same look. “Ah… dito?”
Instead of responding, Stacey merely gave her the ‘obviously’ kind of look, not bothering to waste another word on the woman.
“Sige na, anak, Jhoanna. Dumoon ka na muna at kakausapin ko lang si Aubrey.”
She could have been here, telling her mother why she had to go home. Crying, moping, anything that would ease the weight of being betrayed by the very same man who proposed to her 4 months ago.
But no. Instead, Stacey’s temple throbbed at the thought that she would spend her whole month living with a stranger in their home.
“Anak, wag mo naman masyadong away-awayin si Jhoanna.” Her mother’s voice cut through her growing anger, the warmth of her palm enveloping Stacey’s. Almost immediately, the anger seemed to dissipate, replaced by comforting familiarity.
Stacey let out a small sigh, a small pout visible on her lips, “Eh kasi naman, ma? Naririnig mo naman paano ako kausapin nyang babae na yan. Sino ba yun? Bakit hindi mo naman sinasabi sa akin na may kasama ka dito sa bahay na hindi ko naman kilala?”
“Nabanggit ko siya sayo ah. Naalala mo last year? Nung tumawag ako para mangumusta, tapos di ba sabi ko dito na muna titira yung anak ng best friend ko nung high school na pumanaw na? Si Jhoanna yung tinutukoy kong anak.”
Stacey bit the inside of her cheek, trying to remember the last time they’d talked for more than 30-minutes, without her hurrying because she had deadlines to meet. Maybe her mother had mentioned Jhoanna; she’d just been too busy to fully engage in the conversation.
She sighed, rubbing her temple. “Fine. She lives here now.” Stacey accepted half-heartedly, not like she had a choice, then she paused. Briefly.
“Wala na ba siyang ibang pamilya?”
Ivy’s attention flickered in the direction of Jhoanna’s bedroom door, lips pressed into a thin line as if contemplating whether she would tell her daughter Jhoanna’s circumstances. She chose not to.
“Just talk to her, try to get to know her, anak. Mabait na bata naman ’yan si Jhoanna. Magkakasundo kayo,” said Ivy instead.
Mabait daw. Stacey wanted to roll her eyes. She didn’t. Instead, she bit the inside of her cheek to refrain from showing any reaction.
She thought the conversation was over. Fine. Stacey figured she could act like Jhoanna was a house decoration or something, anything, just so she could focus on healing. She decided she could just talk about Mikael some other time; it was just her first day back at home after all.
But her mother had other plans, Ivy knew, even without Stacey telling anything, something was wrong. For once, Stacey never really went home. The last time was 4 years ago when she chose to shift her career, and now she’s back, Ivy could only wonder.
“Maiba ako, anak. Hindi mo pa sinasabi kung bakit ka biglang umuwi.” Stacey could have played it cool with another witty remark or a shrug, or a casual ‘gusto ko lang magbakasyon,’ but she knew better than to tell a white lie.
Stacey’s fingers gripped the edge of the couch. She exhaled, slowly, trying to ready herself for any emotion that could flood her chest any minute. Sure, she was tough, she could handle things on her own, but this was different.
This was control slipping out of her hand.
This was something no one had ever prepared her for, and in front of her mother, she had no armor to protect herself. “Wala nang kasal, ma.” She almost choked. The way it slipped out of her tongue felt too foreign, like something she never thought she would say.
Ivy swallowed hard. Trying to digest the words that escaped her daughter’s lips. “Ano? Paanong wala nang kasal?” Her hand reached out automatically, resting on top of her daughter’s shoulder. “E di ba kaka-propose lang kamo ni Mikael?”
“M-May iba, ma. Nahuli ko si Mikael.” Stacey’s lips quivered, her shoulders shaking, and tears flowed freely. Unrestrained. Finally acknowledging the fall of her defenses as she allowed herself to cry, after pushing it all aside.
She cried.
Not the quiet kind where she tried to contain the hurt inside her chest, but bawling, sobbing as she reached for her mother’s embrace to cry on her shoulder. “F-Five years yon, ma… five.”
Stacey’s sobs were loud, raw, echoing in the quiet of the house.
The memories of their relationship hammered against her chest, each tear a testament to a promise that had been shattered. Ivy pulled her closer, tearing up.
The sight of her daughter breaking in her arms was like thousands of daggers piercing her skin. It hurts. And Stacey, for the first time, felt the weight inside her chest ease, because her mother was there, holding her, shielding her from any more hurt.
Somewhere behind them, near the dining, Jhoanna stood, rooted in her spot. She had heard everything and decided not to interrupt.
Instead of lingering, she quietly slid out the back door to get out of the house.
It had been a week. Not much had changed. Stacey tried staying in her bedroom most of the time, not wanting to cross paths with Jhoanna. It was a success. Apparently, Jhoanna never really stayed much at home anyway, she was busy doing whatever it was that Stacey never bothered knowing anyway.
Stacey woke up to the sound of chirping birds, leaves rustling, and someone singing along with a clinking of pots. It used to be peaceful, waking up in the morning greeted by serene provincial hum, but not today.
Not when she could hear Jhoanna’s voice singing All Out of Love like it was the theme song of her life. With a groan, Stacey kicked herself off the bed, dragging her hand down her face.
Great. Ang aga-aga. Kala mo siya lang ang nakatira sa bahay.
By the time she stepped out of her room, she was already glaring at the figure hovering in front of the stove, spatula in hand, acting like it was a mic for her morning concert ritual. Stacey studied Jhoanna’s figure. She was once again barefoot, wearing a slightly loose muscle t-shirt that exposed her bare arms, and her hair tied in a loose ponytail.
Tangin– argh. I swear. Sobrang annoying nitong babaeng ‘to!
Jhoanna didn’t notice her. She was busy watching the egg she was cooking while singing her favorite Air Supply song, as if it was something that would make her day better. For some reason, the way she sang like she owned the morning made Stacey’s irritation spike.
“Alam mo,” Stacey started, leaning over the dining chair, arms crossed over her chest, “Kung gusto mo palang nagko-concert ng ganito kaaga, ba’t di ka maging singer?”
Jhoanna stopped singing, glanced over her shoulder, then beamed, “Gising ka na pala, mahal na prinsesa. Good morning.” She said enthusiastically, a bit too much for Stacey, if she were totally honest.
Stacey grimaced, rolling her eyes before turning around to make herself a cup of coffee, “I made you coffee. Black. No sugar. Andyan na sa mesa.”
Stacey stopped mid-step. Confused.
Made me coffee? Because?
As if Jhoanna could see through her reaction despite her back facing her, “Sinabi ni mama kanina yan,” she added, flipping the egg, “sinabay ko na rin. Mukha kang magkakape pagkagising e.”
Stacey didn’t say anything.
She reached for the mug, allowing herself to feel comfortable at the warmth of it around her hand. Then she sat down, without saying another word.
Weird.
Breakfast was quiet. Not the type where you couldn’t hear anything. There were sounds, clinking of utensils, sipping of coffee, and plates being put down. Stacey glanced around, no hint of her mother’s presence lingering. She wanted to ask, but then again, this is Jhoanna, someone she found extremely annoying, so she kept to herself.
Birds chirping from the outside filled the air once more. If not for her mother, Stacey would have ignored the presence of Jhoanna sitting across her, could have pretended she was a piece of household furniture, but for some odd reason, a sudden shift in the air or whatever, she initiated a conversation.
“Why are you here?” Asked Stacey suddenly, tracing the edge of the mug before it shifted, looking at Jhoanna.
Jhoanna paused mid-sip, tilting her head slightly, confused. Like, Stacey had just asked the dumbest question to ever exist. “Kasi dito ako nakatira?”
Stacey stopped herself from scoffing, but she crossed her arms over her chest, an action she found herself doing so often because of Jhoanna. “You know what I mean. Bakit ka nandito? Sino ka ba talaga? I know my mom invited you to live here, pero until when?”
Silence settled, along with the eye contact they couldn’t seem to break. Stacey tried to read through Jhoanna’s silence. She just stared, lips pressed together as if contemplating what to say next, but her eyes were empty. Like it had been drained of anything that could help a person function.
Then, it flickered as if the woman had finally regained composure.
“I’m Jhoanna…”
“I already know your nam—”
Stacey didn’t get to finish her sentence because Jhoanna cut her off.
“Robles.”
“Robles…?” Stacey repeated, the word rolling out of her tongue with a mixture of confusion and disbelief. She was so sure her expression mirrored the same confusion, because why? How? A Robles? Really?
“As in that Robles?” She ran her fingers through her hair, leaning back. Jhoanna hadn’t said anything with all the details she was trying to process. All of a sudden, there were questions inside her head waiting for an answer.
“If you’re from that Robles, then why are you here?”
She waited.
Jhoanna took a sip of her coffee, then shrugged. SHRUGGED. Like she didn’t really care about the bomb she had just dropped on Stacey. Like it didn’t matter that a big shot like her, someone from a well-known political family in the province of Quezon, was there inside a house with faded walls, wearing clothing that didn’t seem fitting for their lineage.
Ano ba naman ‘to siya kausap.
“Seriously?” Stacey asked in disbelief, “I mean, okay lang naman kung ayaw mong i-share, but that’s just… I mean, a Robles? Someone like you had been waltzing in this house barefoot, and you expect me to just pretend? I me—”
“Anak ako sa labas. I didn’t want to do politics, got kicked out. My mom died. Mama Ivy took me in.”
Stacey’s stomach twisted
The words were said so plainly, so casually, that it took her a second to actually process them. But when she focused on Jhoanna again, she saw it.
The way her expression hardened.
The way she held herself was just a little too still.
The way she tried to sound unaffected—despite the weight of everything she had just said.
She tried to digest the information, wanted to stand up, leave, and pretend it didn’t happen. Like Jhoanna didn’t just summarize the story of her life to her, the person she had been bickering with every morning, but she couldn’t. She bit the inside of her cheek, torn between lightening the mood and throwing an apology.
Then she sighed. Stacey opened her mouth, then closed it again.
God, Stacey. Ano bang ginagawa mong babae ka?
Stacey reached for the mug, palm wrapping around the plain ceramic, focus fixed on her lap. “Ganyan ka ba talaga?” She muttered slowly, biting her lower lip.
“You just say things like that… na parang wala lang.” Her attention flickered back to Jhoanna.
Jhoanna held her gaze, letting out a small hum as if acknowledging the vulnerability that lingered in Stacey’s voice.
“Yeah, well, nagtanong ka e,” She said simply, looking down slightly. She watched as Stacey’s hands wrapped around the mug.
“Tsaka, wala naman na ’yon. It’s just a surname now, no bearing.” She added before standing up.
“Huwag mo na masyadong isipin ’yon, princess.”
Avoid.
For all the things she couldn’t control, Stacey had successfully mastered how to deal with them. She avoided it. She stayed inside her room longer, only going out when her mother called for her. She rarely even join them for lunch and dinner, using work as an excuse to stay locked up inside the room.
Stacey had come home to breathe, to forget, not to think about the betrayal of the man she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with.
The vacation was supposed to be peaceful, serene, and away from anything that could possibly give her a headache. Yet instead, she was there, locked inside her bedroom, avoiding a certain individual who now lived under the same roof. Trying to forget the conversation they shared. And the apology she couldn’t seem to say.
Frustrated. Stacey ruffled her hair when an image of Jhoanna carelessly walking around the house, looking comfortable in her muscle tee, momentarily entered her mind.
Prior to avoiding a certain individual who had been making her restless, Stacey couldn’t help but think of Jhoanna. She saw her. Everywhere in the house. Fixing something underneath the sink, changing the light bulb, tending to her mother’s garden, some other morning, she was on top of the roof doing whatever it was. Stacey shouldn’t care. But she kept being reminded of the last conversation they had.
How Jhoanna said things casually as if they meant nothing. Like it didn’t mean anything. As if none of what she said hurt.
Bakit ko ba iniisip yon? E siya ‘tong biglang nag-info dump overload? Nakakainis. Ngayon konsensya ko pa.
“Anak, tawagin mo na si Aubrey nang makapag-hapunan na.” Upon hearing her mother’s voice, Stacey scrambled on top of the bed, pulling a blanket over her figure and pretending she couldn’t hear footsteps nearing her door.
But it was futile. Jhoanna knocked. Three times. And without waiting for her answer, she said, without missing a beat, “Kakain na mahal na prinsesa.”
Ano bang problema nitong taong ‘to at panay tawag sakin ng prinsesa?!
Ivy’s daily life, if she were to describe, was now the most entertaining one could ever have. It’s like housing a married couple bickering like they’re seconds away from stabbing each other. Fun.
She shook her head, ignoring her daughter’s nagging. Jhoanna, meanwhile, remained unfazed. Completely focused on her food, like Stacey hadn’t been shooting laser beams in her direction.
“Haynako, anak. Ika’y kumain na lang at 'yang si Jhoanna ay pagod na doon sa pinagawa sa kanya ni Aling Myrna sa simbahan.” Saway ni Ivy kay Stacey na siya namang nag-ikot ng mata imbes na sumagot.
Stacey snorted, not really feeling the idea of stopping to bother Jhoanna. “For all I know, tumambay lang yan kung saan saan.” Jhoanna’s eyes shifted, meeting Stacey’s briefly as if she was about to say something, but chose not to.
That look. The one that lingered. Tender, careful… and what? Stacey blinked.
Then she scoffed, turning to her side like the action would erase what she saw.
It didn’t. The same night, Stacey tossed around her bed, confused as to why Jhoanna was looking at her like she was a fragile being that mattered, and she couldn’t distinguish within herself whether she liked that idea or hated it.
The days that followed came like a blur, but not with a sudden change, a small, tiny shift that could have gone unnoticed if not for Stacey’s mother pointing it out. It was in the way that Ivy had casually said mid coffee sip that Stacey was the first to say good morning, not to her, but to Jhoanna, who stared at her with utter surprise. As if being greeted with a good morning was like a declaration of the end of the world.
Stacey didn’t respond, merely rolling her eyes. Yet, deep inside, she also wondered what caused the sudden change.
Jhoanna’s gaze, however, lingered quite too long, assessing. As if looking at the retreating figure of a woman would answer the questions running inside her head.
And Stacey, she didn’t know what came over her. Probably just a good night's sleep. But whatever it was, it had changed something inside the Sevilleja’s household. Mornings became quieter, more peaceful, and softer with everyone inside greeting each other good morning without stabbing each other in the throat.
And Ivy? She was starting to love it.
“Ang problema sayo, nandoon ka na, kasama mo na sa bahay, hindi mo pa sabihin ang totoo.” Singhal ni Sheena sa kaibigan bago agawin ang hawak ni Jhoanna na bote ng 1.5 Coke.
Jhoanna shook her head in disbelief, not without throwing a sharp glare at her friend. “Sabi ko nga sayo, dba? Ga—”
“Galit. Oo na nga. Sampung beses mo nang sinasabi.” It was Colet, not looking up from her phone, but didn’t miss to hit the mark.
Gwen eyed Jhoanna with curiosity before asking, “Bakit ba galit? Ano bang ginawa mo sakanya?”
Jhoanna, as if sensing the other person judging her, raised her hands in defense, lips turning into a pout, “Wala at hindi naman na siya galit.” She denied, Gwen narrowed her eyes but didn’t say anything, then Jhoanna’s pout deepened, defeated.
“Fine. Nung una lang yun. Sinabi ko lang na masungit siya. Ewan ko ba kung bakit galit na galit siya nung dumating siya sa bahay? Tapos, ayun na. Every chance she gets, nagta-taray na. Isang beses nakisuyo lang ako paabot ng remote, akala mo naman inalipusta na.” Jhoanna explained, sighing once again as she ran her palm across her face. “Eh pero di naman na ngayon? Naggo-good morning na nga e.”
Sheena clapped, her smile wide. Too wide, it might as well be used to light up a bulb. “Yun naman pala, hindi na galit. Edi try mo i-ano, kwento kwentuhan. Baka maalala niya!”
“Na ano? Ako nga pala si Jhoanna, yung kalaro mo nung bata pa tayo?” Jhoanna said, sighing right after.
“Edi ano gagawin dyan? Wala? Di mo aaminin na ikaw yung childhood love? Yung sinabihan mo na papakasalan? Lagi katabi matulog sa tanghali? Kasama lagi sa park? Jusko, te. Di mo naisip baka ito na ang chance?” Sheena pointed out, speaking while her mouth was chewing on the pancit habhab. Gwen nudged her lightly, reminding the woman to finish her food before speaking, but Sheena only flashed a sheepish smile.
With a slumped shoulder, Jhoanna could only nod weakly, “Ano pa nga ba? Bata pa kami noon. At ano namang sense kung ipaalala ko sa kanya na hello, ako yung kalaro mo nung bata na may gusto sa'yo?”
“Anong sense anong sense, e ikaw ‘tong unang araw pa lang na nakita mo ulit si Stacey, nagpa-tawag ka na ng general meeting. Bading.” Colet said, reminding Jhoanna of what she did the very same day she found out she would be living with Stacey under the same roof.
Jhoanna crossed her arms over her chest with a huff, “Well, maganda siya. Matalino. Mapagmahal kay Tita.”
“At masungit. Ganyang klase ng 4M pala gusto mo.” Gwen added, a teasing smirk playing across her lips.
“Gusto mo ’yon, ang gusto mong maging jowa ’yung pinangakuan mong pakasalan noong uhugin ka pa.” Sheena laughed, a full fit of laughter that got her smacking her own lap.
Jhoanna, who ended up being today’s bunot, could only shrink further to her seat, not having any bullet for a proper comeback.
After hours of tending to Aling Julie’s garden, Jhoanna went to the port, watching the pastel hues of the sky as the sun kissed the horizon. She took a deep breath, allowing the serenity of it all to embrace her entirety.
“Lalim ng iniisip mo ah?” It was Colet who took a seat on the empty pavement of the seawall where Jhoanan was seated. A wide, teasing grin plastered across her face when their eyes met.
“Anak pa rin ba ni aling Ivy?” Colet added, her tone teasing.
Jhoanna let out a sigh, glancing back to the darkening sky. “Grabe no? Pwede pala yun? Yung akala mo, nakalimutan mo na, biglang gusto mo pa rin pala.”
“So, kung kinasal na pala siya ngayon, brokenhearted ka na for life?” Colet teased, shaking her head at the thought na sobrang bading ng kaibigan niya.
“Gago naman nito. Wag naman sana, pero parang ganon na nga? Ewan ko e, hindi ko rin ma-explain. Maganda siya, lalong gumanda.” Jhoanna exhaled.
“Pero more than that, the way she cares for tita Ivy just made me fall deeper e.” Upon saying the words, Jhoanna’s lips curved into a smile, the image of Stacey constantly telling her mom to rest, wag mag-pasaway filled her head.
“Grabe ka, Jhoanna. Ganyan ka pala mag mahal…” Colet said, putting an arm around Jhoanna’s shoulder, pulling her closer, “torpe nga lang.” Then she clicked her tongue.
“Pero ikaw na rin nagsabi, brokenhearted, almost married. For sure, wala pa sa isip niyan yung love love, and lalaki pa yung fiancé… edi straight pala yan? As much as gusto kong mag-make ka ng move, na umusad ka sa pagka-gusto kay Stacey, mas mabuti siguro na wag mag-expect, bai. By the end of the day, mahirap magmahal ng taong hindi tayo kayang mahalin, nakaka-ubos yan.”
“At nananakit ka ng ganito, because?” Jhoanna didn’t remove the arm around her shoulder, but she shifted slightly, throwing a glare at Colet.
“Para ako na lang?” Colet smirked.
Jhoanna snorted, nudging Colet’s rib with her elbow. “Gago!
“Tanginang ‘to. Di porque ekis ka sa anak ni Kap, ako pupuntiryahin mo ah.” Jhoanna added, removing herself from Colet’s hold.
“Di naman mabiro ‘to! Dati lang ’yon! Si Maloi, my darling, my love so sweet na ang nasa puso ko ngayon.”
“Kaya di ka magustuhan e, dino-dogshow mo lagi e.”
“Gusto ako nun, ayaw niya lang umamin. Ako na ‘to e.”
“Wow… signal #5 pala dito.” Jhoanna rolled her eyes, but she didn’t argue. Because she knew Maloi, the woman carried the same feelings towards her friend; she was obviously just holding herself back.
“Haynako, sige na. Uuwi na muna ako. Baka hinahanap na rin ako ni Mama Ivy.” Jhoanna patted her jeans, standing up. Colet followed, bumping her fist on Jhoanna’s shoulder.
“Sus, miss mo lang kamo si princess.” Before Jhoanna could pull and smack the woman, Colet had already dodged, running away while laughing.
Nagdadabog na si Stacey the moment she spotted Jhoanna na halos kakapasok lang sa bahay. Feet stomping, furniture being moved like it was trash, even the way she sat down on the couch was loud. Really loud. And Jhoanna? She didn’t know why.
Jhoanna shared a confused look with Ivy, who only responded with a shrug. Both of them were unaware of the brewing storm running inside Stacey’s head.
“Kung nandyan ka na, pakitapos na yung pag segregate nung mga itatapon bukas ng umaga.” Her voice was flat. Controlled. Habang pahigpit naman ang hawak niya sa remote.
Jhoanna’s brows furrowed, but she said nothing, only following what the other had said. She completely missed the way Stacey threw her retreating figure a side glance as she focused on finishing the task she had left in the morning.
Imbis kasi na tapos na sana, kung anu-ano pa inuuna.
Stacey was pissed. It was evident the moment she got home, carrying ingredients for dinner and a 1.5-liter Coke, she was so sure she wasn’t going to drink. Ivy knew better than to bother her daughter when she was pissed, so she ignored it and focused on making dinner.
For Stacey, she didn’t even know how it started. Maybe because it was afternoon and the sun was hurting her skin, or maybe it was in the way the tricycle’s smoke was polluting the air, she didn’t really know. However, she knew that something about what she saw earlier at the port stayed in her head longer than it should have. And she hated that she couldn’t explain why it was bothering her.
Like? How could Jhoanna, who was supposed to be finishing the task she left in the morning, find time to hang out there? In the port. Instead of wrapping things up at home. She couldn’t understand. So maybe, yes. That was partly the reason why she was pissed.
Yup, that was probably it. Just that. Stacey shook her head, ignoring whatever it was that kept peeking from her rib uncomfortably, and decided to change the channel. Again.
“Ano, how’s the province life?” Stacey groaned, annoyance creeping in as the teasing came through before a good hello.
“Well, hello din sayo.” She shot back
“Snappy. Let me guess. Jhoanna?” Aiah asked without missing a beat.
Stacey groaned. “Ugh. Not her name, please. I’m already annoyed as it is.”
“Pusta ako 1,000 wala na namang ginawa yung tao sa kanya.” Stacey heard Mikha’s voice on the phone, her brow raising. “Mikha? Wow. Magkasama kayong dalawa?” Stacey glanced at the clock placed on top of her room table, “at 11 PM?”
“Well, duh? Bawal ba kasama ang girlfriend sa bahay?” Stacey was shocked. She sat up, back resting on the headboard. “OMG KA BAKLA KA! IKWENTO MO!!”
Getting mad at Jhoanna for an unknown reason felt like a distant memory now, and she spent a few more hours just talking with Aiah, her best friend living in the city, and now living together with her girlfriend.
It was almost 2 in the morning when they ended the call. Stacey lay flat on her back, studying the ceiling as if it were a museum art. She remembered the last thing Aiah told her before ending the call. “Haynako. I just want to let you know ha. Mikael, your ex-fiance, kept asking for you. Said he wants to explain sayo in person.”
With a groan, Stacey got out of bed and headed to the kitchen to make a cup of hot milk.
The past 2 weeks have been a mixture of endless headaches and adjustments that have made her completely forget about the life she left behind in the city. And at the center of it all, it was Jhoanna. Bickering with her nonstop, constantly calling her ‘princess’, and pretty much just doing things to annoy her.
Still, the atmosphere around the house was noticeably lighter now, and Stacey found herself indulging in the sudden sense of comfort.
Stacey stepped out onto the porch with a cup of warm milk in her hand. She had meant to stay alone, just to enjoy the midnight breeze. Tame the voices inside her head, anything that would help her sleep.
But as soon as she stepped out, Jhoanna was already there.
Sitting quietly, staring up at the sky, an unattended mug beside her. Before she could quietly step back inside, Jhoanna had already caught her movement, a smile plastered across her lips when their gazes met.
“Can’t sleep?” Jhoanna asked.
Suddenly, the warmth of the mug felt noticeable in her hand.
She looked so peaceful
Stacey’s lips pressed together, searching for words, but before any response could form, Jhoanna had already patted the space beside her, signalling the older one to occupy the space.
Stacey followed.
“Maganda mag-stargazing dito sa pwestong ‘to lalo pag hindi makatulog,” Jhoanna said, quieter than usual. Like, they weren’t just spending their days constantly going for each other’s throats.
Stacey watched Jhoanna’s side profile, trying to decipher the meaning behind her actions, the way she spoke like she was choosing her words carefully, and how she would always smile whenever Stacey started giving her an attitude.
“Are you always like this?” Stacey started.
An urging hum escaped from Jhoanna’s lips. She angled herself toward Stacey and was greeted by her brown, sharp gaze, “Parang, you’re just skipping through this life at ease. I don’t see you working, pero you’re the one paying for the groceries and the internet, sabi ni mama. You spend your days fixing stuff dito sa bahay, or sa kapitbahay, like it was your full-time job. And you, you don’t get mad kahit inaaway kita.”
“Ah? You’re watching me?” Jhoanna teased, Stacey raised her hand, about to smack the younger woman, but thought better of it. “I swear… you’re always like this.” She sighed.
“Maybe?” Jhoanna shrugged, still looking at Stacey. “Okay, first of all, I have my ways to earn money. Second, well… maliit lang ‘tong lugar natin, and I have the ability to do naman yung mga bagay na need gawin, so why not help? Third, wala namang dapat ikagalit.”
Stacey raised her brow, not completely convinced of how the woman beside her was earning money, but then again, she realized, Jhoanna is still a Robles, so maybe it had something to do with that.
“And well, if I try to take things too seriously edi ang lungkot naman non. Hindi natin alam hanggang kailan tayo dito, sa mundong ‘to, so… just live the life you want.” Jhoanna added.
Stacey let out a hum, lifting the mug to her lips to take a sip of her milk before putting it down on the space beside her.
She moved slightly, facing Jhoanna. “Jhoanna…” She called out quietly, “Anong gagawin mo if you caught your fiancé cheating?”
Stacey’s question lingered in the air. Longer than it should have. For a moment, she regretted asking it. After all, it was the first time that Jhoanna took her time responding. She had always been the type to retort to everything that Stacey was throwing at her. But now? Nothing, she was busy studying the sky as if it were the key to some sort of answer she couldn’t seem to find at the back of her head.
Then Stacey saw it, a faint curve on Jhoanna’s lips. “Hmmm…” Jhoanna hummed, “Di naman ako nainform na love advise pala ang hanap mo ngayong dis oras ng gabi.” She chuckled.
Stacey clicked her tongue. “Sasagot ka ba o hindi?”
Jhoanna held her hand up in defense, shaking her head at the sight of frowning Stacey. “You and your patience.”
“Well, edi aalis.” Said Jhoanna.
Stacey furrowed her brows, confused. “Huh?”
“I mean, isa lang naman ang tingin kong reason why someone would cheat e. Kasi, hindi siya kuntento. Hindi siya kuntento to the point na kailangan niya pang humanap ng iba, eh di aalis na lang ako. Doon na siya.”
Jhoanna saw Stacey lowering her gaze, fingers fumbling on her lap. She sighed. “I should be grateful, honestly. Kasi, imagine gaano kalala yun kung kinasal ka tapos nalaman mong may other party pala.”
Stacey would have fired another sassy remark, but the way Jhoanna’s eyes glistened underneath the glow from the bulb hanging above made her pause. She was serious.
A sudden tug on her chest made her turn away, staring down at the pavement. God… has she always been this good-looking?
Stacey swallowed.
Jhoanna’s features eased, attention drifting back to the sky.
“Kung mahal ka talaga nung tao. Hindi 'yan gagawa ng dahilan para sirain kung ano man yung mayroon kayo. And if he can cheat while saying na mahal ka niya, isipin mo na lang ano pang kasinungalingan ang di niya sinasabi sa'yo.”
Their gazes met, lingering, like holding it there was the anchor they both needed to not drown
“Tandaan mo lang na walang kahit sinong tao ang deserve lokohin, and it's better to walk away sa ganong klase ng relationship kesa i-tolerate pa yung bagay na nagawa na nila sa'yo.”
“Kayong dalawa.” Ivy started, pointing between them. “Sinasabi ko sa inyo. Iyang away-away niyo ay isang tabi niyo muna at bantayan niyo nang maigi itong bahay. Stacey anak, yung mga kaka-cup noodles mo sa kwarto tigilan mo na yan. Magluto kayo at kumain nang maayos.”
Ivy’s eyes narrowed towards the two women standing outside the main door, exchanging looks before shrugging.
“Pag ako umuwi at nagkasaksakan kayong dala—”
Jhoanna moved quickly, walking toward Ivy and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Ma, naman. Wala ka bang tiwala sakin? Ako na ang bahala dito sa bahay tsaka kay Princess. Puro amba lang naman ’yan siya.”
From outside the front door, Stacey threw Jhoanna a glare. “Narinig kita mula dito, Robles ha. Umayos-ayos ka, baka hindi kita matantya.”
Jhoanna only chuckled, shaking her head as she gave Ivy’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Ako na bahala dito, ma. Enjoy ka dun sa outing nyo nila Aling Celia.”
By the time they were back inside, Stacey smacked Jhoanna’s back before scoffing. “Amba pala ah. Umayos ayos ka.”
Jhoanna ignored it, laughing as she sauntered toward the kitchen. “Napaka-bayolente mo.” She retorted playfully, grabbing a few things inside the fridge. “Ano gusto mong ulam?”
“Ano ba meron dyan?”
“Pang adobo.”
Stacey crossed her arms. “Bakit mo pa ’ko tinanong?”
“Wala. Trip ko lang.”
“Bwisit.”
Stacey’s response earned a laugh from Jhoanna, who was obviously having fun annoying her. She could only sigh as she settled at the dining chair, facing Jhoanna’s back while the woman was busy preparing dinner.
“May suka pa ba?”
Stacey rested her chin against her palm, still eyeing Jhoanna. “Nandyan sa ibabaw na cabinet, sa may right side.” She said without missing a beat.
“Need help?” Stacey asked, she’d just been sitting there doing nothing.
“Nah. Ako na. Pahinga ka lang dyan.”
Stacey decided she didn’t want to rest, so she stood, walking toward the sink to wash her hands before standing next to Jhoanna. “Mabobored lang ako pag nakaupo. I’ll help.”
Jhoanna looked at Stacey with a grin. “Sabi mo eh, ikaw na lang pag pagsaing. Ako na dito.”
Minutes passed in comfortable silence, broken only by the sound of cooking. The two of them were both occupied on their respective task, Jhoanna cooking and Stacey washing the plates and chopping board they used.
“Wait, teka. Tikman mo nga kung okay na ‘to.” Stacey saw Jhoanna blowing on a spoon with adobo. Before she could process what was happening, Jhoanna held out the spoon toward her.
Stacey hesitated for a moment, gaze shifting from the spoon hovering between them to Jhoanna. There was nothing wrong, in fact, it felt normal—too natural for two people who used to banter every chance they got.
She’s so—ugh.
She pushed the thoughts aside, then leaned in, tasting it.
Jhoanna waited.
“Yeah… that tastes good.” She said quietly, turning around to hide the heat crawling from her neck to her face.
“Uhh, sure ka? Di ba matabang?”
“Okay na. Masarap. Mag-prepare na ko ng mesa.”
Jhoanna followed Stacey’s retreating figure, her head tilted slightly. Then she glanced back at the stove, then at the spoon she was holding, and realized what she had just done.
Oh shit…
Dinner was silent. Usually, there would be endless banter between Jhoanna and Stacey. Asaran, pikunan, non-stop na punahan over the most absurd thing Stacey could find, and someone saying ‘bwisit’ every five seconds, but tonight was different.
Tahimik.
There were only the sounds of the utensils and the background hum of the electric fan from the living room. Stacey was focused on her plate, not sparing a glance at the figure in front of her. Jhoanna, on the other hand, had been stealing glances every other minute.
Stacey put her spoon down to the side, not looking up. “May dumi ba sa mukha ko, Robles?”
Jhoanna let out a quiet laugh, shaking her head. “Wala naman. Nakakapagtaka lang na tahimik ka ngayon.”
Stacey clicked her tongue, but there was no bite to it. “Tigilan mo ko. Kumain ka na lang diyan.”
After the quiet, not totally awkward dinner, the routine continued instinctively. Jhoanna stood up first, gathering the plates. Stacey followed, walking toward the sink para kumuha ng basahan pang-punas sa lamesa.
There was something domestic about the scene unfolding that Jhoanna couldn’t help but feel a tug on the corner of her lips, forming a small smile. Just in time for Stacey to notice.
“Anong ngini-ngiti ngiti mo dyan, Robles?”
“Wala. May naalala lang.”
“Sus. Ginawa mo pa akong pinanganak kahapon.”
“May naalala nga lang e. Magpunas ka na nga lang don. Mangangasar ka pa.”
Stacey rolled her eyes, turning around to wipe the table. “For all I know, naiisip mo lang girlfriend mo e.” She muttered, mostly to herself.
“Ano?”
“Wala. Sabi ko, ito na—magpupunas na.”
Girlfriend. Eh hindi ka naman sa akin.
Jhoanna didn’t press, but instead watched Stacey for a little longer, like she was trying to preserve the memory of Stacey getting roped into a routine she used to do alone. The thought made something inside her chest flutter.
She smiled. Contented.
“Ilagay ko na ba ‘to sa ilalim?” Jhoanna asked, facing her. Stacey stepped closer, looking over from Jhoanna’s shoulder.
Jhoanna froze, then exhaled.
Stacey was too close, Jhoanna could smell the shampoo she used.
“Ako na magbabalik.” Stacey reached out, grabbing the last plate from Jhoanna’s hand, their skin brushed against each other for a split second, making both of them pause.
Napaka mo talaga, Stacey.
Jhoanna cleared her throat, pushing the plate into Stacey’s hands. “Okay. Sa sala lang ako, manunuod.”
Pagkatapos na pagkatapos ni Stacey sa pagbalik ng mga bagong hugas na pinggan, agad siyang napalingon sa direksyon ng sala. Jhoanna was sitting comfortably on the couch, arm resting over the backrest, busy on whatever was playing on the screen.
Stacey found herself staring. Quite too long, as if painting the image of Jhoanna inside her head.
Hindi rin niya alam kung bakit. Pero ramdam ni Stacey yung pagbabago. How the annoyance, irritation, melted so easily sa tuwing napapatingin siya kay Jhoanna. But she figured it was something she had no answer for yet, so she let it be.
She could have ended the night there, go to her room, check on her emails, and then rest. She could also have walked toward the couch and settle on the other end of it, watch whatever Jhoanna was watching, but instead, she found herself making a cup of coffee.
A cup of coffee with two teaspoons of creamer and brown sugar.
A cup of coffee that wasn’t hers.
Okay… what the fuck, Stacey?
For someone who executed events in perfection, who always knew what she was doing—Stacey was… lost. Because she also has no explanation for what she did.
She bit her lower lip, sighing to herself. Stacey ignored the way her heart was beating, how it hammered against her ribcage as if wanting to jump out, then with a deep exhale, she made her way to the living room.
She carefully sat beside Jhoanna and placed the cup of coffee on the center table, like it was the most natural thing to do. Like it was something she loved doing for Jhoanna, only it was the first time, and she had no idea how Jhoanna would react to that.
She felt Jhoanna turn, looking at her, probably watching the expression she was wearing but she ignored it. Instead, she turned and met her eyes. “Ano?”
Jhoanna pointed at the cup of coffee on the center table, glancing at it briefly before turning to Stacey once again, “Sakin yun?”
“Nag-ccreamer ba ko sa kape, Robles?”
“Hindi.”
“Oh, eh bakit tinatanong mo pa?”
Jhoanna looked away, blushing. Inside her chest? Worse. It felt like a fireworks display had started. Still. She did what she could to refrain from smiling too widely.
“Okay. Thank you, princess!” She grinned, excitedly taking the mug to take a sip.
Ayan nanaman siya sa princess princess niya.
“Napaka-weird lang nung nagkakape ka after magtanghalian at hapunan.” Stacey commented.
“Weird pero ginawan mo naman ako ng kape?” Jhoanna teased, chuckling. “Tsaka okay na yung kape after kumain kesa yosi, dba?”
“Alam mo, Robles? Ang dami mong alam. Manood ka na nga lang.”
They were mid-movie when Stacey started relaxing, stiffness gone, replaced by the coldness embracing her skin. She scanned the living room, seeing the AC on while the fan hummed from her side. She scooted, not directly skin to skin with Jhoanna, but enough for the warmth to come through—it was nowhere near enough.
“Jho, ang lamig. Patayin mo nalang kaya yung fan.”
“Nakakatamad na tumayo.” Jhoanna was in one hell of a comfortable position, side leaning on the edge of the couch, feet placed on top of the center table, arm resting on the backrest. If she fell asleep in that position, it would still be comfortable.
“Napaka naman kasi, naka-fan na naka-AC pa. Kala mo nam—” Stacey was nagging while rubbing her arms. But before she could finish her sentence, Jhoanna had already dropped her arm from the backrest, dropping it around Stacey’s shoulder, and slowly… carefully, she pulled her closer.
“Hoy, napaka mo!” Stacey squirmed, but Jhoanna didn’t flinch, only threw a quick side glance.
“Sabi mo malamig. Nilalamig ka pa ba?”
“H-Hindi na,” Stacey muttered, her voice cracking as the heat started crawling its way to her face.
Oh my god… Teka. Ano ba ‘to…
“Ayaw mo ba?” Jhoanna’s voice was careful. And Stacey lifted her eyes to meet Jhoanna’s gentle doe pair of orbs staring back at her.
The sound of her heart beating was louder than the noise from the TV; in fact, Stacey couldn’t hear anything at all. Just her heartbeat, or was it Jhoanna’s? The two of them? She had no idea. However, in that moment, with them not looking away, Stacey found her defenses falling while she scooted closer, hand finding its way on the hem of Jhoanna’s shirt, clutching on it like she didn’t want to be away. Not at all.
“Gusto.”
Jhoanna mumbled a short “okay” reply, and then Stacey felt it.
The sudden shift, the way Jhoanna pulled her even closer, like she had been waiting for permission to hold her. And that word. Just one word was enough to stop her from holding back.
Still, she left a space, enough room for Stacey to pull herself away if she wanted to. She didn’t take it. Instead, she let her head rest against Jhoanna’s shoulder, her hold on Jhoanna’s shirt loosening into something softer, something she didn’t expect would feel this comfortable.
For Stacey, everything felt right. Her mind couldn’t fully catch up. She recalled the first time they met, the days that followed, the week when Jhoanna kept slipping into her thoughts for reasons that went beyond mere annoyance. She ignored it, convincing herself it was just her getting used to having another person around.
But now… with Jhoanna’s arm wrapped around her, like she was the only person that mattered, every emotion inside her began to tangle.
It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Stacey, even if she tried to deny, felt something for Jhoanna.
Jhoanna, who never really said much but always got things done. From cooking her breakfast, waking her up in the morning, to preparing her tea when she was too stressed from work.
Jhoanna, who never got tired of saying good night, even when Stacey rarely said it back.
Jhoanna, who got along perfectly well with her mom, who always made sure they were both taken care of.
Damn. Ang sabi healing… bakit ka kinikilig dyan, te? Sino ka dyan?
Stacey tried to rid herself of everything running through her head.
Neither of them said anything.
The movie kept playing, but they weren’t really paying attention. It was forgotten, blurred into background noise as they basked in each other’s warmth.
Jhoanna exhaled slowly, relaxing.
And Stacey, she allowed herself to be greedy, to be selfish. Even if it meant crossing the line.
“Jho…”
“Hmm?”
“Let’s just stay like this.”
Jhoanna laughed. “Oo na, princess.”
Jhoanna didn’t move. She kept her mouth shut. And she let Stacey settle there, in her arms. Like she was finally in the place meant for her.
There was something different, but mornings felt the same. Naririnig pa rin ni Stacey ang pagkanta ni Jhoanna mula sa kusina, again, with her Air Supply morning routine. She couldn’t help but smile, habang nakatingin sa kisame, replaying the scene from yesterday.
She didn’t regret anything, no. In fact, she loved being in Jhoanna’s embrace, it felt like she was somewhere she belonged. And although a part of all these felt confusing, Stacey was sure she wasn’t going to pretend none of those happened.
“Princess. Breakfast!” Stacey slowly sat up when she heard Jhoanna’s voice calling for her, so she slid out of her bed, checked herself in the mirror bago lumabas ng kwarto.
She was greeted by Jhoanna, who was grinning wider than usual. On the table, a plate carefully prepared with eggs, danggit, longganisa, and maling sat beside a bowl of steaming sinangag. Stacey also saw a mug of coffee placed on her spot, so she grabbed it, taking it with her to the seat beside Jhoanna.
“Good morning, princess. Clingy ka pala.” Jhoanna teased when Stacey sat down. Instead of responding, Stacey simply took a sip of her coffee before putting it back down, eyes lingering on the steam rising from the mug.
Jhoanna furrowed her brows slightly, tilting her head slightly, “You okay?”
There was no yes or no, just a small hum. Jhoanna didn’t push. Hinayaan lang niya si Stacey sa kung anong iniisip nito habang sinasandukan naman ng pagkain yung pinggan na para sa kanya.
Dahan-dahan na nilapag ni Jhoanna yung pinggan na may pagkain sa harap ni Stacey, bago sabihin na, “Kumain ka na muna bago mo isipin.”
This made Stacey look from the food back to Jhoanna. Her thoughts drifted back to her place, to the city, to Mikael—and she realized not even once did that man ever try to do something so simple for her. Something simple that felt natural for Jhoanna to do.
She sighed.
Bakit ba kasi yun pa iniisip mo? Wala na yon.
“Tungkol ba ‘to sa kagabi?” Jhoanna asked, cutting Stacey out of her trance.
“Kagabi?”
“Last night. When we crossed the line.”
“What? Jho. No. It’s not about that, wala akong pinagsisisihan don.” As soon as she said it, naramdaman ni Stacey ang mabilis na pag init ng dulo ng tenga niya. Unti-unti niyang naalala how she was the one who wanted to stay that way, cuddling, even to the point of asking Jhoanna to stay.
“Eh ano pala?”
Stacey saw through Jhoanna’s glasses, the emotion she was trying to keep in check, the sincerity in it, while waiting for her response.
She noticed the slight crack in Jhoanna’s tone, like she wouldn’t know what to do if Stacey told her to ignore what happened the night before. The thought made her inwardly smile.
“It’s not that… it’s just, a part of me, naguguluhan pa.” Stacey started, “Before coming here, I walked out of my fiancé because I caught him cheating, and three weeks in, I’m here, getting all confused with whatever this is that I’m feeling.”
“Ano bang nararamdaman mo?”
“Eto, ikaw.” Stacey pulled her hand away from the table. It dropped to her lap, her fingers instinctively reaching for her shirt, needing something to hold onto. “Nung una naiinis ako sayo, hindi ko din alam kung bakit.. And then the next thing I knew, hinahanap ko na kung nasaan ka, bakit hindi ka pa nakakauwi, tapos yung kagabi… I—”
Jhoanna’s eyes shifted to Stacey’s hand, so without a word, she placed her hand on top of hers, squeezing it gently.
“Okay lang yan.”
“Anong okay?” Stacey bit her lower lip. “Jho, I don’t even know if it’s just me being greedy for wanting someone to hold me close, hindi ko alam kung tama bang ganito yung naffeel ko.”
“Princess…” Jhoanna reached for the strands of Stacey’s hair, tucking it behind her ear, “Makinig ka, okay?”
“Ikaw na rin nagsabi, you don’t regret anything from yesterday. If you’re confused ngayon, then let’s just take our time. Sure, we crossed the line.. Sure, you’ve just walked out of a relationship where your partner cheated on you. You’re confused, and that’s fine, your feelings are valid.”
“Kung ano man yung feelings mo towards me, I’ll gladly accept it, pero ito… sinasabi ko sayo, don’t pressure yourself. Kasi di naman ako aalis, dito lang ako. We’ll work around it, we’ll figure it out, okay?”
Silence filled the air. Jhoanna’s thumb circled on top of Stacey’s hand, quietly reassuring her that she was just there for her. Stacey could have pulled her hand away if she wanted to, but she didn’t move.
Instead, she let out a small breath, “...okay.” That was it. Nothing else, because Jhoanna was there, and she knew Jhoanna wouldn’t let her deal with it alone.
“Good,” she said quietly, squeezing Stacey’s hand once before letting go.
Then, like nothing life-changing had just happened, she reached for her plate again.
“Eat ka na. Lumalamig na.”
Stacey blinked once, like she was adjusting back to reality.
“Ang aga mo mag-utos,” she muttered, the words rolling out of her tongue naturally.
This made Jhoanna laugh, so Stacey smiled. Her shoulders relaxed, then she finally picked up her spoon to eat breakfast.
But even as she ate, her thoughts weren’t really on the food anymore.
It was on the hand that had just held hers.
And how… normal it had felt.
Hindi pa man nalalapag ni Colet ang order niyang kape, rinig niya na agad ang malalim na pag buntong hininga ni Jhoanna. She glanced at her two other friends, silently seeking an answer for Jhoanna’s behavior only to be greeted by a shrug.
The three of them were inside Isla Cafe, hanging out (Jhoanna called for an emergency meeting)
“Napaka-arte, kala mo artista. Ano nanamang inaano mo dyan, te?” Pagpuna ni Sheena kay Jhoanna.
With another heavy sigh, Jhoanna buried her face in her palm. “Guys, iba na ‘to. Gustong gusto ko talaga si Stacey.”
“Wow…” Said Gwen, looking at her, “Akala mo naman bagong balita yan?”
“Hindi,” Jhoanna said, “Di niyo gets. Nag-cuddle na kami kagabi. Gusto ko na ngang pakasalan bukas.”
“TANGINA NAMAN SHEE. NAMBUBUGA NG JUICE AMPOTEK.” Napatayo si Colet nang saktong mabugahan siya ng juice ni Sheena na siyang nakapwesto sa tapat niya.
“GAGO! SORRY, ATE COLET! PUTANGINA KASI NITO NI TE JHO E!” Sheena’s frantic voice boomed.
“Huy, bebe. Hinaan mo naman boses mo.” Gwen scolded.
“Anong sinasabi mo ba kasi dyan, Jhoanna? Ang lala mo mag-delusion.” Saway ni Colet habang kinukuha yung inaabot ni Gwen na wipes para makapagpunas siya.
Silence.
The three of them observed Jhoanna, waiting for her to say she was joking, that she was just manifesting for the moment to happen, but when none came, their palms slammed on the table loud enough that the barista from the counter glared at them.
“SERYOSO?!!?!” They all hissed, inching forward, waiting for Jhoanna’s explanation.
Jhoanna explained, telling the details of what happened the day before, up to the talk she had with Stacey earlier in the morning.
“And?” Asked Sheena.
“Anong and? Yun na, doon na natapos.” Jhoanna responded.
“You mean, yun na? Walang label? Cuddle buddy lang? Magkasama sa bahay, nagho-holding hands, tinimplahan ka pa ng kape? Ganon lang?” It was Colet’s turn to ask.
“Oo…?”
“May tawag dyan.” Sambit ni Sheena, tapping her chin with her index finger like she was in deep thought. “Katangahan.” She deadpanned.
“Sinong tanga ang papayag na ka-cuddle mo babaeng gusto mo tapos walang kayo?” Dagdag pa nito. No one said anything, but both Colet and Gwen observed Jhoanna, waiting for her response.
“So ano kayo?” Ulit na tanong ni Gwen.
Jhoanna sighed, her expression blank as she studied the three.
“Masaya.”
“Putangina mo.” As soon as the curse escaped Colet’s lips, the three of them laughed. A full-blown na tawa na walang pagpipigil. Even Sheena was slapping Colet’s arms as she leaned back, still laughing.
“Ewan ko sayo. Bwisit. Ang hina mo. Di ka man lang umamin. Bahala ka. Pag yung ex non bumalik, iyak kang bata ka.” Paalala ni Gwen.
Hindi na umimik si Jhoanna, her mind drifting to the moment she had just shared with Stacey, then she smiled. “Ah, basta.” She muttered, “Masaya. Okay na yun.”
“Tanga nito.”
Stacey’s fingers hovered above the keyboard of her laptop. The cup of coffee she had made for herself sat on the table, left unattended and now cold. Her mind was elsewhere, not on the work waiting to be done, not at the silence inside the house, but on a certain individual who refused to leave her mind.
Okay. Kumalma ka, Stacey. Hindi kailangang madaliin. Okay…may dating, mabango, maalaga. Gets. Pero, ikaw na yan. You’re not bad. Basta—wait.
Stacey’s thoughts were interrupted when she realized something. The scene she saw at the port a few days ago, the one where Jhoanna was having the time of her life with a woman whose arm was wrapped around her shoulders.
An uncomfortable ache settled inside her chest.
What does that make me? The thought twisted her stomach into knots, memories of Mikael’s betrayal seeping through her skin. Fuck.
No. Nope. This wasn’t going to happen again. She would talk to Jhoanna and put a stop—
Laughter echoed from outside the door, interrupting the spiral inside her head. Then the door opened, Jhoanna stepped in, followed by the woman she saw with her at the port, then two more new faces.
Familiar.
“Hi!” the three greeted in unison.
There was a slight pause; after all, Jhoanna never really brought anyone over.
“Hi, princess. Mga kaibigan ko pala. Sorry di ko na nasabi, may ibibigay kasi ako kaya sumama na sila.” Jhoanna grinned sheepishly, walking toward the dining area where Stacey was seated.
Friends? Her attention was fixed on Colet, remembering her as the person who was with Jhoanna the last time.
Stacey stood up, and Jhoanna, almost naturally, pulled Stacey gently by her wrist, guiding her toward her friends.
It didn’t even take five minutes for the four of them to talk like they’ve known each other their whole life, thanks to Sheena and her ability to render people defenseless because of her overly friendly and bubbly personality.
Gwen was no stranger to Stacey, either, because they attended the same high school and their classrooms used to be beside each other.
Colet, however, wasn’t Jhoanna’s girlfriend or anything of that sort, just a friend… who looked at Jhoanna a little too long, yes. Stacey, for some odd reason, didn’t like that.
“Kinuha ko lang ‘tong tool box, baka mamaya pinagba-backstab niyo na ’ko?” Jhoanna interrupted, standing beside Stacey.
Like no words were needed. Like that was naturally her spot. Beside Stacey, nowhere else.
“Ay? Buti alam mo, teh.” Sagot naman ni Sheena, which earned a few laughs, “Napaka mo, Shee. O eto na kailangan nyo. Message niyo na lang ako if need ba ko don.” Sagot ni Jhoanna pabalik bago iabot ang tool box kay Colet.
“Huwag ka na sumama, wala ka namang tinutulong kundi mang-ubos ng Coke.” Colet hissed playfully.
“Sige, una na kami! Salamat. Nice to meet you ulit, Stacey.” Dagdag nito, bago bumaling kay Stacey at ngumiti.
Stacey returned the same smile, waving goodbye until the three exited the door, Jhoanna behind them.
She could hear the four of them bickering from the outside, and she couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle, remembering how Jhoanna kept throwing the three of them a warning look whenever they asked her about the life she was having now, here, in the province.
That dork.
“Di ka naman nila kinulit nung umalis ako saglit, di ba?” Bungad ni Jhoanna, occupying the empty seat beside Stacey pagpasok niya ulit sa bahay. Her eyes landed briefly on the screen of Stacey’s laptop, then on Stacey.
“Bakit?” Stacey shot her a knowing look, smirking. “Ano naman kung may sinabi sila?” Dagdag nito.
Panic flashed across Jhoanna’s face, “Luh?! Anong sinabi ng mga ’yon?!”
“Uy ha, Stacey, alagaan mo yan. Mabait naman yan si te Jho, wag lang hayaan na hindi siya makapag-kape sa isang araw.”
She remembered Sheena’s voice, reminding her about Jhoanna’s mood turning sour whenever she skipped her coffee. Her lips pressed into a thin line, shaking her head. But just as she was about to respond, her phone rang, a name she didn’t want to see flashing on the screen of her phone.
‘Mikael calling’
Two pairs of orbs read the name while the other contemplated whether she would answer the call; the other one already pushed her chair back, standing up to disappear to her bedroom without a word.
Jhoanna was six. She didn’t know why she had no father, didn’t know why they kept moving from one house to another, living with people she had never really met before. But at the back of her mind, she thought, basta kasama niya si mama, it will all be fine.
She was turning seven when she first met Stacey. A girl with a charming, toothy grin and a contagious smile. She wore her pink dress as if it were made for her. Perfectly fit, very kikay. Jhoanna couldn’t help but think that they were two contrasting individuals who would never get along.
Well, that was thirty minutes earlier because at 2:00 PM, inside the comfort of the Sevilleja home, Jhoanna became Stacey’s personal “chauffeur”, meaning she wasn’t allowed to be away from her. ‘Ever,’ as Stacey said once they were done eating their lunch.
“Okay, Jhoanna. Whatever your name is. You will call me princess, okay?”
“Ano yun? Wala akong choice? Yun talaga tawag ko sayo? Eh sabi ni Tita, ang name mo daw ay Aubrey, ha?”
“No. Si mama lang yun. Ikaw, dapat princess ang tawag mo sakin, okay?” Stacey was nine, already bossy, already demanding Jhoanna of things she was never allowed to say no to, because Stacey, with her hands on her waist, pouting, was just too beautiful.
And Jhoanna, she was mesmerized.
She nodded.
They didn’t see each other a month after that. They were young, they parted ways, and childhood memories remained as memories. Jhoanna had kept it at the back of her head, never forgetting. It was just there. She always remembered.
And Stacey, she had forgotten. There were just too many things that happened in her life, she had forgotten a memory from the past, a memory that stuck with Jhoanna.
“S-Sorry.” Stacey sobbed, clutching Jhoanna’s shirt too tight that the fabric might tear. Not like she cared about that, she was busy crying.
Jhoanna was still silent, her fist clenched. Tears had already dried on her cheeks, her eyes were burning from anger, her white shirt was smudged with dirt, and she had visible scratches on both her arm and knee.
She was angry, not at Stacey, but at the older kids who thought they could get away with bullying her. So she fought, a kid, seven. Butting heads with kids taller than her because they were making fun of Stacey and her pink dress.
The one that suited her the most.
“Wag ka na umiyak. Di mo naman po kasalanan.” Jhoanna tried to sound tough, but the sting was starting to become unbearable, scratches and sweat together were a terrible combination. It stung.
“Eh k-kasi… tinulak ka nila tapos… tapos nasugatan ka tuloy nang marami.”
“Okay lang ako. Basta po, wag mo na sila pansinin. Tayo na lang maglaro sa bahay. Wag na dito.”
“L-Love mo pa rin ako? Kahit nasugatan ka dahil sa akin?” Stacey hiccuped; she was doing her best to stop her tears from falling. Jhoanna wiped her tears, gently, quietly. Full of care. She was so sure of one thing: Stacey might be older, but she was one hell of a crybaby.
“Opo, princess. Palagi po. Sinabi ko na yun sayo kaninang umaga din po, dba?”
Stacey nodded, grip loosening on Jhoanna’s shirt as she reached for her hand.
“Kaya nga… dapat lagi yun sinasabi sa umaga at sa gabi, ganon daw yun pag gusto mo maging kasama palagi yung isang tao sabi ni mama e.”
“Hehe okay. Sasabihin ko ’yon sa’yo palagi, tabi naman tayo matulog, e.”
-
Jhoanna was fifteen when she met Stacey again.
Her smile? Still mesmerizing. She was taller. Long brown locks cascaded down her back, perfectly complementing her porcelain skin. Jhoanna didn’t know what to do, so she watched.
And when their gazes met, there was no flash of recognition in Stacey’s eyes.
And Jhoanna didn’t know why that left a hollow feeling inside her chest. She didn’t try to get closer, merely observing from a distance, always throwing glances, and at some other time she would stare a bit too long until Colet or Sheena nudged her. Still, seeing Stacey around was enough.
Then at 26, she saw her again. She looked sharper, confident, and without a doubt, alluring. Jhoanna had tried every possible way to stop thinking about Stacey. She wanted to make a good impression, but her playfulness had taken over before she could stop it.
She had forgotten what she said minutes ago, but the “Ma, sabi mo mabait anak mo? Bakit ang sungit nitong dumating? Anak mo ba talaga ‘to?” lingered far too long inside her head, because Stacey? She was mad.
And Jhoanna didn’t know what to do to make up for that. So, she stayed there, teasing, responding with the same amount of banter, and occasionally, her focus would stay on Stacey, lingering there, unguarded, as if memorizing the features of the woman who had always been on her mind for as long as she remembered.
‘Sa every timeline ng buhay ko sana alam mong hawak mo ’ko sa leeg, Sevilleja.’
Jhoanna couldn’t help but think, chuckling to herself as her eyes landed on the starry sky. As if holding it accountable for all the cruelty thrown upon her. Until Stacey came, quietly, a mug of steaming drink in hand, looking hesitant.
It was that night.
The night Jhoanna allowed herself to be selfish. The night Jhoanna had decided she was done watching.
It went well.
Until it didn’t.
“Jho?”
Stacey’s hand hovered in front of the closed door as she contemplated knocking again. She was no fortune teller, sure. But she wasn’t completely dense not to know that it was what she saw that made Jhoanna go back to her room.
She didn’t answer the call, of course, but she stayed seated, thinking na mas importanteng i-check si Jhoanna than deal with Mikael.
Sobrang bago ng lahat ng nararamdaman ni Stacey. Miski siya mismo, sa sarili niya, naguguluhan siya.
She remembered Aiah telling her she was too chill. Too forgiving whenever Mikael forgot special moments. She always shrugged it off with ‘we’re too busy for that’, but sensing Jhoanna’s distance, the silence, all of it already made her chest tighten in a way that felt too uncomfortable for her liking.
Stacey was a fully grown adult; she knew her sexuality wasn’t something that confined her. She knew that Jhoanna was making her feel things she hadn’t gotten to experience before. But it was also for the same reason that she felt scared.
Kasi, what if it was just a phase? What if it was just because they were living together? What if Jhoanna wasn’t the type to take things seriously kaya she was able to tell na they don’t have to rush. Relentless thoughts circled inside her head.
She bit her lower lip.
Sure, it was a bit too much. Sure, it was all coming too fast. But Stacey had decided on one thing. Trust Jhoanna.
Her hand lowered to the doorknob and, without waiting any longer, she twisted it.
Jhoanna was there, lying down on the bed covered with a blanket. Stacey didn’t know if she was sleeping or awake and pretending she heard nothing. Nonetheless, she sauntered her way toward the bed, comfortably sitting on the edge of it.
She didn’t say anything, but her hand automatically reached for Jhoanna’s hair, her fingertips tangling gently through her locks.
“Hey…” Her tone was gentle when she announced her presence.
Silence.
Stacey wasn’t used to this. She had routines, habits she followed. Going home. Eating dinner. Receiving a peck on the cheek from Mikael when he was at her place. Showering. Working until sleep finally took over.
She had no recollection of ever spending an intimate day na kailangan ng suyuan, especially not with her initiating.
Pero kay Jhoanna?
Napatingin si Stacey kay Jhoanna, matagal. This was Jhoanna, a person who wore her weakness like armor, like it didn’t matter where she came from, how the world had been cruel to her; in the end, she would just shrug it off.
But now, here she was, quiet. Putting a distance between them that had been causing discomfort inside Stacey’s chest.
She didn’t wait.
With the available space beside Jhoanna, she got on the bed, arm sneaking around Jhoanna’s waist automatically. Lips pressed against Jhoanna’s back.
“Sorry.” Malumanay na sabi ni Stacey. “Galit ka ba?”
She heard Jhoanna let out a sigh and felt her hand on her arm.
“Hindi.”
“Tampo?”
“Hindi.”
“E ano?”
“Wala, ewan ko.” Mahinang sagot ni Jhoanna.
The corner of Stacey’s lips curved into a smile, “Selos?”
“Ano ba naman to,” Jhoanna whined, which made Stacey chuckle.
Jho.. why does this feel right with you?
There were plenty of things Stacey could have said, but instead, she found herself humming, nuzzling her face further on Jhoanna’s back like being close to the other was all she needed to tame the nonstop beating of her heart.
There was something wrong. Or not? Ivy arrived in front of the doorstep, greeted by utter silence. She heard none of her daughter's usual “Ano ba, Jhoanna!?” and Jhoanna’s teasing laughter.
This made her brows furrow.
Jhoanna’s slippers were outside, and when she entered, she spotted an open laptop, Stacey's, on the dining table. Unattended.
The lights were out aside from the one in the dining area, but there was no visible presence inside their home.
“Stacey anak? Jhoanna?” Ivy called out, putting her luggage beside the couch before roaming the house looking for the two.
Ivy was about to head out when she noticed Stacey’s noticeable pink house slippers outside Jhoanna’s bedroom, her door slightly ajar. Curious, she sauntered her way toward the room, peeking quietly only to see two figures on the bed. Sleeping comfortably.
Their lower bodies were covered with a blanket. Stacey’s head was resting on Jhoanna’s arm, while she hugged her waist. And there was something, a small tug on her chest that made her smile.
Tignan mo ‘tong dalawang batang ’to. Pag nandito ako sa bahay, kala mo mga aso’t pusa, nung umalis ako aba’y cuddle cuddle pa. She shook her head, letting out a low, hushed chuckle before stepping away from the door, not forgetting to close it before she went to the kitchen.
Jhoanna woke up hearing footsteps from outside her room. Her eyes opened, and she tried to move, only to realize she was trapped. “Princess…” She called affectionately, brushing her nose against the crown of Stacey’s head.
Stacey groggily hum in response, her hold tightening around Jhoanna’s waist.
“Princess, I think nakauwi na si mama Ivy.”
Upon hearing her mother’s name, Stacey’s eyes fluttered open. Her vision slowly adjusting to the room before she realized the position they were currently in. She felt her face heating up. Embarrassed at her own display of clinginess.
“Uhh.. now what?” Stacey asked, biting the inside of her cheek but still refusing to be away from Jhoanna’s warmth.
“Alam mo ikaw… hanggang ngayon pa baby ka pa rin.” Jhoanna teased.
“Anong sinasabi mo, Robles?” Stacey squinted, looking up slightly.
“What? E totoo naman.”
“Whatever.”
Bago pa man mauwi sa panibagong episode ng pag-aasaran ang dalawa, narinig nila ang sigaw ni Ivy mula sa kusina. Mabilis silang napabalikwas nang marinig ang mga yabag nito na papunta sa kwarto.
Both were unaware that Ivy had already seen the two of them tangled together on the bed.
“Aba? Wala ba kayong balak kumain na dalawa?” Bago pa man mabuksan ni Jhoanna ang pinto, nauna na iyong binuksan ni Ivy na siyang nakapamewang habang nakatingin sakanila.
“Ma, ano—” Stacey tried to explain their current predicament, but Ivy shrugged her off.
“Haynako, Aubrey. Hindi na kayo bata. Ang gusto ko ay kumain na tayo, kaya maupo na kayo.”
Jhoanna and Stacey shared a look.
Then Jhoanna grinned, leaning closer to Stacey’s ear, “Oh, di galit si mama. Mukhang pasado ako, ah.”
“NAPAKA MO!” Mabilis naman na hinampas ni Stacey si Jhoanna sa balikat pagkasabi nito, ngunit bakas naman sa kanyang mukha ang hindi mapigilan na pagngiti.
Without saying another word, the two of them found their seats in the dining area.
This time, Stacey didn’t take the seat in front of Jhoanna.
Instead, she quietly settled beside her.
Stacey left.
Prior to her leaving, things were great. Even better.
Routines fell naturally into place.
Most nights, Stacey’s bed remained empty because she would be inside Jhoanna’s room, all curled up against her, till she fell asleep.
Jhoanna loved it.
She loved having Stacey beside her.
It was something she never knew she needed, never thought she would experience. After all, Stacey used to be someone she could only admire from a distance.
Ivy said nothing. The Sevilleja household had become peaceful, though never really quiet, not when the two women living under her roof never missed a chance to annoy each other just as much as they took care of one another.
But even with routines, even with feelings they have yet to say out loud, Stacey still had to leave.
To go back to Manila, to where her life really was.
“Jho.”
“It’s okay, Stacey.”
Stacey… the name tasted bitter on the tip of her tongue, but she didn’t say anything.
“Pwede naman tayo pareho don? Mas madaming opportunity, mas—”
“I know, nasabi mo na yan.” Jhoanna smiled warmly. “It’s just… the city life isn’t for me. My work can be done online, my friends are here, mama is here, at least pag nandito ako may kasama din siya.”
“E ako?” Stacey asked quietly, she could feel her tears threatening to fall. “Tayo? Paano?”
Jhoanna reached for her hand, pulling it closer until her lips pressed against her knuckles. “You’ll do great,” She whispered. “You always do. When things get too much, kapag pagod ka na, nandito lang ako.”
“Jho… I lo—”
“Shh.” Jhoanna smiled gently, cutting her off. “It’s okay. In time.”
“Tita Ivy, di na naman makausap ‘tong ampon mo!” Sigaw ni Sheena mula sa sala habang si Ivy naman ay busy sa pag-aasikaso ng niluluto niyang pancit habhab.
Jhoanna shot Sheena a glare but didn’t really say anything.
Napailing na lang si Colet at si Gwen sa dalawa.
It had been three months. Three months since Stacey left. Jhoanna wondered if she had been forgotten. If she was just someone from the province, na naging temporary source of comfort para sa babaeng umuwi ng probinsya to heal.
She thought it would work out, one way or another. Messages. Video call. Hanggang sa nabawasan, until the calls and messages were left unanswered. Stacey would reply days later, saying she was swamped.
Jhoanna didn’t press.
She focused on other things. She spent more time on trading. Doing chores. Helping neighbors. Hanging out with friends. Anything, just to divert her attention away from the person who occupied a huge part of her mind.
Two months after Stacey left. They stopped talking.
Or maybe…
Stacey just stopped replying.
Jhoanna didn’t really have the answer for the things running inside her head.
So despite the pain, the reality that Stacey wasn’t there, never hers, she still wished for nothing but her safety.
Because, well, Jhoanna. She never stopped. Never stopped waiting. Never stopped loving the woman whom she promised to take care of for as long as she lived.
“Jhoanna anak, i-check mo nga itong pancit kung okay na.” Tawag ni Ivy mula sa kusina.
Jhoanna didn’t need to be told twice. She stood up, pouting. “Okay lang naman kasi ma kahit walang handa e. Maiintindihan naman ni mommy yun.” She muttered.
“Ay sus, sige, pag ikaw minulto ni mama mo sa mga sinasabi mong ganyan, bata ka.” Ivy clicked her tongue, “Kung okay na ’yan, dalhan niyo na lang sila Colet, sila Aling Beth, ’di naman natin mauubos lahat ’yan.”
She did as she was told and prepared a container full of pancit habhab, the three were following behind her, snickering. Just as she stepped out of the door, Jhoanna’s breath hitched.
She froze.
Blocking her three friends from exiting the house.
Walking along the pathway toward the door was a face so familiar it was etched not just in her mind, but deep within her.
Stacey.
She felt someone collide against her back, heard her friends complaining about her being slow, but none of that mattered. Her gaze fixed on someone else entirely.
She wondered whether it was a dream. The entirety of it all felt too cruel to be real, she thought. So her brain refused it, saving her poor soul from another wave of crashing pain.
But Stacey was still there.
Standing still.
Pink hair now—soft, slightly curled, falling over her shoulders like it belonged there. She was smiling, and something inside Jhoanna flipped when Stacey’s eyes turned crescent.
Tangina naman… alam na alam paano ako kuhanin e.
Hindi makagalaw si Jhoanna. Either that or she refused to move dahil hindi pa rin niya fully ma-process yung sitwasyon. Narinig niyang inaasar siya ni Sheena at Colet, pero even that felt distant for her to even engage in.
She pressed her lips into a thin line when Stacey took a step forward.
One step.
Then another.
Carefully, like threading into a thin line she didn’t want to snap. Then she stopped, right in front of Jhoanna.
Before she could say anything, Stacey had already beaten her to it.
“I’m home, Jho.”
Ano yun?! Akala mo makukuha mo ko agad-agad? Hindi ka nagme-message? Hindi ka nagko-call? Tapos, iisipin mo pag-uwi mo dito, okay na tayo? Akala mo, isang I’m Home mo lang, baliw na ako agad sayo? Anong akala mo saki—
“Jho.”
“Yes po, princess?” Mabilis na sagot ni Jhoanna nang marinig niya ang malumanay na pagtawag ni Stacey. Ngunit kung ano man ang kinabilis ng pagsagot nya, ganon din ang pagnguso niya pag lingon dito.
“Napaka mo. Akala mo ganon ganon lang yon? Uuwi ka nalang tapos akala mo oka–”
“Alam ko.” Stacey cut her off. “Kaya nga umuwi na ako kaagad pagkatapos kong mag-render ng resignation e.”
A beat.
Jhoanna blinked, wondering whether she had heard it right.
Resignation?
Then Stacey let out a soft sigh, hand reaching for Jhoanna’s.
“...ha?”
The truth was, Stacey had a plan.
Stacey had a plan. She always did.
She wasn’t the type to decide on something without thinking of its possible outcome, so when her requested wfh set-up for a month was coming to an end, she made sure to go back to Manila after.
Even if it meant leaving Jhoanna in the province.
Even though it felt like they had to sacrifice what they had for her career.
Jhoanna was firm about staying in the province; it was valid. She got to take care of Stacey’s mother, her friends were there, and her work was online. She was settled, exactly where she wanted to be. And Stacey didn’t have the heart to push.
Jhoanna went through a lot. Like, a lot.
And Stacey couldn’t bear the thought of causing her any more pain.
So, for weeks, she spent her days weighing her options.
After closing a 35-million client deal for their company, Stacey filed her resignation. No grand explanation, just a firm decision that she had decided where she wanted to be. The company offered twice the salary, but Stacey had already decided it was no longer about that anymore.
Her condo? Up for rent once she leaves the city.
In the second month, Stacey was drowning. There were too many things she had to do to wrap up her resignation, and that included turning over her work to her replacement. Detail by detail. Even how to handle specific clients.
Their calls and messages remained unattended; however, Stacey was driven. She missed Jhoanna. Badly. She wanted to be wrapped around her arms, but there were far too many things she had to deal with before going home, and Jhoanna told her she would wait. So, she focused. Without missing a beat, she made sure everything was flawless.
With a week to spare before going back to the province, Stacey made the choice to meet Mikael.
He was smug.
Acting like he had anticipated the moment, like he was expecting Stacey to be back like nothing happened.
Stacey barely spared him a glance when she said, “We are not getting back together.”
The panic in his eyes was evident, his composed posture cracking as he watched Stacey’s expression, confusion written all over his face.
“What? What do you mean? We were supposed to get married, Stace.”
“Exactly,” Stacey deadpanned. “Until you cheated. Until I caught you cheating.”
“I only came here to give back the ring. We were done the moment I left that day, Mikael. And I guess you thought because I still had this, may chance pa. She pulled the ring from her bag before sliding it across the table without hesitation. “But well… eto na.”
Then she stood up.
“Wait, Stace.” Mikael reached for her wrist, but before he could fully grab onto it, Stacey pulled away.
“Hindi mo man lang ba ako bibigyan ng chance na mag-explain? Ganon na lang ba yon? How about the years we spent together?!”
Stacey scoffed.
“You think I came here not knowing that wasn’t the first time?” Saying it now, Stacey expected it to be painful, for her words to be filled with hurt, but none of it came. In fact, she felt at ease.
Because she knew her worth. Because even with the shortest amount of time she spent with Jhoanna, she felt how to be treated right.
“I- Stace, that—” Mikael stuttered, not expecting to get caught further on his scheme.
Stacey merely glanced but didn’t say anything, then she walked away.
As soon as she slid inside her car, Stacey took a deep breath. Her hand was on the steering wheel. The noise of Manila was muffled by the only thought running inside her head.
Finally.
Makakauwi na.
Jhoanna was unable to talk.
She just stared at Stacey. Her heart tightening painfully inside her chest. Then it happened. She broke. Her lips quivered first, then her tears, flowing. Uncontrollable.
Wala nang pakielam si Jhoanna kung naririnig man siya mula sa labas ng kwarto niya. This was everything she tried to keep to herself for months, feelings she tried so hard to contain.
Every unanswered message. Every missed call. Every night her head was filled with thoughts that she was just someone temporary in Stacey’s life came crashing back all at once.
All this time, she was drowning in pain, and every time it became too hurtful to even bear, she reminded herself that she had promised to wait.
And all this time, Stacey was there, fighting on her own, sacrificing something she had always wanted for herself, so she could come home.
Sa kanya.
Para kay Jhoanna.
Stacey didn’t need to wait. She had 3 months of waiting. So she closed the space between them, wrapping her arms around Jhoanna.
“Napaka-unfair mo.” Mahinang sabi ni Jhoanna. Her crying had softened into shaky laughter, though the sound cracked halfway through.
She raised her eyes slightly, meeting Stacey’s. “Ang hirap, Staks…” She whispered, “Hindi ko alam kung ano ba ako sa’yo, kung ano ba tayo, kung babalikan mo ba ako dito.”
“I know.” Said Stacey quietly, locking eyes with Jhoanna, exploring each corner of the other’s orbs to keep herself grounded—only to fail.
She felt her tears slipping, realizing the pain she had caused the other despite telling herself it was something she didn’t want to do. Sure, she was here now, holding Jhoanna, keeping her safe.
Still.
That didn’t change the fact that she caused her pain.
“I’m sorry.”
“I-I… it was wrong of me to do things on my own, to take my time without letting you know what I’ve been up to.” Stacey started. This time, Jhoanna was the one wiping off the tears from her face. “It was selfish of me, I’m sorry. I was just… I just wanted to put all those things behind as fast as I could para makauwi dito, sayo.”
There was a pause.
Their gaze held, unmoving.
And slowly, Jhoanna leaned forward as she cupped Stacey’s cheek.
She pressed her lips briefly against Stacey’s.
Only for a few seconds, just enough to convince herself this was happening. That Stacey was there, telling her she was the home she wanted to return to.
“I understand that now,” Jhoanna said the moment she pulled away.
Then they chuckled. Forehead pressed together, eyes closed.
“Sorry if I made you wait.”
Jhoanna hummed.
Allowing the silence to settle as her mind drifted to the memory she had shared with Stacey. Back when she was seven, then at fifteen, and when they met again. And then this time, when Stacey was here, forehead pressed against her like they weren’t just crying moments ago.
“Mahal kita, Stacey. Mahal kita noon… hanggang ngayon. I didn’t stop.”
Stacey froze.
Not because she didn’t feel the same, but because she had no recollection of meeting Jhoanna prior to them living together months ago.
“Noon?”
“Ayon ba talaga dapat ang unang sagot? Hindi mahal mo rin ako, maem?” Jhoanna pulled away slightly, leaving just enough distance, lips turned into a playful frown.
The look made Stacey let out a laugh. “I mean, mahal din kita, Robles.”
“Pero what do you mean noon pa?”
“Secret.”
Stacey exhaled, shaking her head playfully as she slapped Jhoanna’s arm, “Ano na nga kasi yon, Robles? Isa.”
“Basta! Ang importante, nandito ka na. Mahal mo ko at mahal kita. Sapat na yu—”
Before Jhoanna could finish her sentence, the door burst open, revealing Ivy and Jhoanna’s friends peeking from behind.
“Aba e, kung tapos na magsuyuan at mag I love you-han, lumabas na dyan at nang makakain na, kami’y kanina pa dito naghihintay aba?!”
Napatigil ang dalawa. Habang bakas ang unti-unting pamumula ng kanilang mukha.
Haynako.
And with that, the once quiet household of Sevilleja was filled with echoing laughter. And this time, Stacey’s dream changed from living a successful, independent city life to living a quiet life in the province, safely wrapped in Jhoanna’s embrace.
