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On his last day of high school, Haruka feels surprisingly at peace.
It was, in all honesty, a day he'd been dreading for a while now. Furin has become his home, his community, and for these past three years, it's been his favorite place in the world. It was where he first felt safe, where he learned who he was and who he wanted to be, where he made his first friends and found his family.
So there is an ache in his heart, dull and melancholic, but above all there is gratitude. The lessons he's learned here, and the people he met, they'll stay with him no matter what comes next. Thanks to that, he finds it easier to let go now than he would have anticipated.
On top of that, he's leaving Furin in good hands, so there's nothing to worry about there.
The classroom is loud as they all prepare for the makeshift graduation ceremony, the boys rowdy and gleeful. Everyone is sharing how they feel, what their plans are, and Haruka is happy to listen. He knows he's staying in Makochi, as are most of them. Why would he leave when he's come to call this place home, the first one he's ever had? The people here are kind and accepting, and Haruka can't imagine another city he could be as happy in.
"When did Umemiya say to meet again?", Anzai asks while fumbling with the buttons of his gakuran. The Furin boys rarely ever button up their jackets, so it makes for an amusing sight.
"Three p.m.!", Nirei answers, "Don't forget to bring something."
Everybody nods, topic of conversation shifting to the post-graduation party the founders of Bofurin are throwing for them in the park. It's going to be a grand affair, everyone from their school and even people from town bringing food and games, and Umemiya manning the grill. Haruka can admit he's looking forward to it, especially since the sun shining in through the windows promises good weather, but he's got something else he needs to do first.
Something that is honestly distracting him a bit from truly enjoying his graduation day. Something that's making his hands shake ever so slightly.
The ceremony, if it can even be called that, is over quickly. From one second to another, Haruka is officially a high school graduate, contradictory feelings jumbled together in his chest as his eyes track the movements of his now prior classmates.
They're all mingling still, no one yet ready to let each other go even though they're hanging out together later. Haruka gets it, he thinks, because while they will see each other again, they won't be Furin students anymore.
With a small smile, Haruka accepts all of his friends' and classmates' well wishes as they come up to him, pats on the shoulder and hugs and words of thanks exchanged with an ease Haruka couldn't have imagined only two years ago. He'll miss this.
Still, the time eventually comes for everyone to disperse, most of them having family members who require their attention. Haruka thinks he spots Nirei's parents waving their son over, and gives them an acknowledging nod. He sees Akari too, and goes to talk to her for a second until she whisks Kiryu away, before continuing his search for the one other person he knows has nowhere else to be, the guy he wants to talk to most.
He finds Suo on the outskirts of the crowd, back leaned against the gymnasium wall as he watches the others with a fond, bittersweet smile on his face. Without a word, Haruka joins him.
"'Sup?"
Smooth, Haruka. Suo will definitely not be able to tell that something is off immediately.
As expected, Suo chuckles lightly but does not yet turn his head. His lone eye is tracking Nirei's retreat, a bright smile on their best friend's face as he recounts the events of the day to his nodding parents. Haruka finds himself glad, not for the first time, that Nirei has a loving home.
"Are you feeling alright, Haruka-kun?", Suo asks him.
It's Momijikawa's fault that everyone calls him by his first name these days, and has for a while. Haruka would be lying if he said he minded though, he honestly couldn't care less. Maybe he'll try calling the others by their first names sometime too, it'd make for a good surprise.
Shrugging, Haruka turns sideways, so that only his shoulder is leaning against the wall. He studies Suo for a moment, taking advantage of the other boy still facing the crowd. The sunlight reflects beautifully off the gold and red that make up Suo's earrings, and his skin is smooth and soft-looking. He's handsome, Haruka knows, but the acknowledgment of it brings a blush to his face nonetheless.
He never has been able to get rid of that particular habit.
"Yeah", he responds, "Weirdly enough."
Suo hums, his smile widening a bit as he finally turns his head to meet Haruka's gaze. His eye, forever the most honest part of him, is bright with a mixture of sadness and something almost as fragile as hope.
"You?", Haruka returns the question. Not out of any sense of politeness — he still has none of that — but because he wants to know. It's been an uphill battle, getting Suo to actually fucking talk to any of them, admit to the feelings they all know he has, but it comes easier to him these days. At least some of the time.
"Mhm", Suo tilts his head so it softly bumps into the wall, "Me too."
Haruka accepts the response at face value. He's sure they're all feeling a little heartbroken at the prospect of leaving Furin, so he can't fault Suo for looking sad. If he says he's fine, Haruka will believe him just this once. After all, Suo's not getting rid of him. Next week, the two of them — and Nirei — are moving their stuff into a new apartment that they'll all be sharing. Haruka is both apprehensive and looking forward to it.
"Shall we?", Suo takes a step forward. It causes Haruka to notice that most of their friends have left, leaving the two of them almost alone on the school grounds. The sun beats down on them, and it's not the only reason Haruka's beginning to sweat. "We can help Umemiya and the others set up."
In a moment of panic, Haruka's hand shoots out to hold onto Suo's sleeve, desperate to make sure the other doesn't leave. It's silly, Suo wouldn't have left without him anyway. Well, not again.
"Wait", he mumbles, "Uh…"
Clearly a little confused, Suo furrows his brows at him. He remains standing though, not pulling away from the grip Haruka has on his uniform jacket.
"What is it, Haruka-kun?"
Lest he stumble over his words and mess up the plan he and Tsubaki meticulously crafted, Haruka takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a moment, determined to find his center and remain cool. He's gotten good at that — or better —, keeping a cool head and not always reacting first.
"Th-there's something else", he flinches a little when he stutters but powers through. It's just Suo, he's known the guy for three years now and they've been through some real crazy shit together. They've both seen each other at their worst, laughed and fought and did everything in between. There's no need to be nervous. "Come with me?"
His voice comes out gruff, rough around the edges in a way that sounds rude, but Suo takes it in stride. Eye slightly narrowed in thought, he nods and allows Haruka to drag him into the school building and up the stairs with no complaints, Haruka's knuckles are white from how tightly he is holding onto Suo's jacket. They might never have to wear it again, but he still hopes he doesn't rip it.
"I'll miss this place", Suo sighs behind him as they march through the halls. To an outsider, that might be an odd statement, all things considered. Furin High School isn't exactly a beautiful location, though it's gotten better. The hallway they're in is covered in graffiti — some good, some awful — and there's discarded furniture pushed up along the walls. The floors are speckled with dirt and the windows grimy enough to make the outside world appear blurry and dream-like. Haruka gets it though, he's come to love this place so much, it's a little difficult to imagine himself without it.
"Yeah", he agrees, and they step onto the final staircase. There's not much else to say that they don't all already know.
The door to the rooftop opens with a loud creak. Oops, Haruka cringes, Should've oiled that before we left.
Up here, the sun is even brighter, and the air is fresh and clean. The breeze cools them down, this spring an exceptionally warm one, and Haruka drinks in the sight of the roof one last time. His gaze caresses the benches, the ping pong table and the skate ramps he's never used. He considers all the planters Sugishita had so diligently worked on, his sunhat dropped on the floor beside the tomatoes as though he just went to the bathroom for a moment.
Maybe Haruka should take it down with him later.
"What brings us here?", Suo asks as they come to stand by the high fence. From up here, the courtyard looks so small, the rooftops of Makochi blinding them.
Haruka resists the urge to wring his hands, instead just rubbing them together for a second before meeting Suo's gaze head-on. He breathes, allowing himself the second to prepare. He knows, deep inside himself, that this won't change much. No matter what Suo says, they will stay friends, he won't lose him. And while a rejection might hurt, Haruka knows he would get over it eventually.
Not that he's expecting a rejection.
While Haruka is not the most well-versed in social constructs and the world of emotions, the past years have taught him much. He's much better now at listening and reading between the lines, has earned more self-confidence and even gotten more comfortable with the thought of romance.
Sure, random couples being all lovey-dovey or his friends talking about their crushes still makes him blush, but it's not as volcanic of an event as it used to be. Especially since he now harbors romantic feelings of his own, and has for a while. Suo, for his part, is not subtle either, and the two of them have perhaps been dancing around each other for a little too long.
So no, he's almost certain Suo feels the same. With the amount of fond teasing he endures from the other, his elegant fingers in Haruka's hair and on his arms whenever possible, his softer smiles and quiet, honest words, Haruka thinks his chances are pretty good.
Still, doubt remains. And it's that doubt that has Haruka's fingers tingling and his heart beating too fast within the confines of his ribcage, threatening to break free.
"I've a gift for ya", he forces the words through his lips.
It's not quite the right thing to say, he hopes Suo doesn't expect an actual gift now. Maybe he should have bought flowers or tea or something. Too late now.
"I mean", Haruka attempts to course-correct, "Uh, kinda."
Suo chuckles but it sounds nervous around the edges, his eye shifty as he watches Haruka fumble. Does he know what's coming? The thought makes Haruka even more anxious. The two of them really are a mess, he thinks.
"A surprise?", Suo raises an eyebrow. It's clear he's trying to keep the mood light, but his posture tells Haruka he's bracing for something. Much like Haruka himself, Suo is terrible at handling real emotions, and even with more practice, this kind of vulnerability is hard. Haruka can't keep putting it off anymore though, he thinks these feelings might drive him insane if he doesn't say something now.
"Just -" Haruka sighs and decides to take the plunge. It's now or never.
Determined, he raises his trembling hand to detach the second button of his uniform. He'd loosened it at home to make this easier and to his relief, the thing comes off quickly. It falls into his hand, small and round and silver, and he barely hears Suo's quiet gasp over the pounding of blood in his ears.
"Here", he holds the object out to Suo, feeling horrifically raw and exposed, "Want ya to have it."
Haruka coughs. "I-if ya want it, obviously."
Silence encompasses the two of them as they stand there. It's strange that the world goes on around them, distant voices and the sounds of cars drifting up to enter Haruka's ears, but he remains frozen. Suo is looking at him with his eye wide and sparkling, pink lips parted in surprise.
Is it too much too soon? Handing over a metaphorical piece of his heart sounds overtly romantic, but Tsubaki said it was a common tradition among high school graduates, so he hopes this doesn't scare Suo off. After everything, he thinks a little intensity won't kill them.
When the silence grows uncomfortable, Haruka is about to pull back and perform a strategic retreat, but it's then that Suo finally moves.
He clears his throat, hand trembling the faintest amount when he raises it to accept the offering. Haruka's shoulders fall in relief, the tense knot of anxiety in his chest loosening all at once. Unfortunately, his blush fails to recede.
"How forward of you, Haruka-kun", Suo's smile is small but sincere, his tone not quite as teasing as he's probably going for. It's so easy these days to see through his flimsy masks, emotions shining in his eye and his voice getting choked up. There's a faint, barely noticable blush reddening the tip of Suo's nose, and it takes Haruka's breath away.
Oh, what is he getting himself into?
"Y-yeah, well", Haruka shrugs. He figures the only thing left to do is say it, even though he had hoped that the gesture might spare him from that. "I like ya, so…"
Suo bites down on his bottom lip in a transparent attempt to hide the smile blooming on his face. Haruka doesn't get why he'd try to hide it, it's just them up here and Haruka knows all there is to know about him now.
"Mhm", Suo hums happily. In a flash, his free hand comes up to his chest and rips his own button off his jacket. It's such a fluid motion and the thing comes off so easily, Haruka wonders whether he needed to loosen his at all. Or maybe Suo respects his uniform much less than he does.
Before Haruka can truly register what's happening, the small piece of metal is being pressed into the heated palm of his hand, startlingly cold. He blinks up at Suo in wonder, hand remaining open between them like a flower.
"I -", Suo takes a deep breath, "I find myself quite fond of you too, Haruka."
With a roll of his eyes — does Suo always need to be so pretentious? — Haruka closes his fist and deposits the button in his jacket pocket before taking a step forward.
The two of them were already close before but now the toes of their shoes meet and Haruka has to crane his neck up to look Suo in the eye. He can feel his breath on his face, the sensation warm and strange. Up close, Suo's walls come crumbling down so easily, his maroon eye wide in awe and a faint tremble to his smiling lips. Haruka can see his pulse jumping in his throat.
Feeling bold now that he knows for sure his feelings are returned, Haruka grins up at Suo.
"Fond enough to kiss me?"
It makes him cringe the second he says it, embarrassment coloring his ears and his chest beneath his shirt, but he doesn't take it back. Though he's never kissed anyone before, he's grown tired of his eyes wandering to Suo's mouth every time the other speaks, wondering what it'd feel like against his own. He'll find out today, for better or for worse.
And if he's bad at it, so what? He doubts Suo's great at it either, so they can learn together.
Suo's answer is a giggle. He tries to suppress it for a moment but doesn't succeed, the sound light and tinkling as it spills out past his lips. His eye lights up with it, crinkling at the corner in a way Haruka will never tire of seeing. Too many of Suo's smiles don't reach his eye even now, so when one of them does, it feels like Haruka's found a treasure.
"Yes", Suo finally calms down enough to speak, "Of course."
And with no further hesitation, Suo grabs hold of him. His hands come down on Haruka's shoulders, firm and chilled despite the warm weather, drawing him in ever closer until there's nowhere else left to go. Haruka's eyes close of their own accord just before their lips meet and the feeling is both strange and welcome. It's simultaneously exactly how he expected it to be and also completely different.
Suo's mouth is as cold as the rest of him, his lips smooth and unblemished. He keeps his mouth closed, respectful but solid as he presses it to Haruka's, who attempts to find his footing. Ever so slightly, he shifts and brings his own hands up, clumsily tangling them in Suo's open jacket and pulling him in farther. It's a little awkward, both of them smiling and their noses bumping, but it's really, really nice.
For a moment, they pull apart, chuckling in unison as they regard one another, before Haruka pulls him in again. This time, he tries to recall the mortifying advice Tsubaki gave him — which is hard to do considering he was actively trying to escape at the time — and tilts his head. It deepens the kiss, their lips now slotting together in a way they didn't before. It's a little wet, and Haruka feels like he should find that gross but oddly enough, he doesn't. He wants more.
Since this is the day of bold choices, he figures one more won't put him in the grave, so he parts his lips a little. Haruka's not sure this is the correct thing to do, and he hopes it doesn't scare Suo off. His heart jumps in his chest at the thought but he needn't have worried, as Suo immediately responds with enthusiasm.
Easily taking the lead back, Suo opens his own mouth, hands wandering down Haruka's arms until they land on his waist, his tongue cautiously licking into Haruka's mouth.
From then on, it's a mess of spit and teeth and laughter. It's a little odd, a lot awkward, but Haruka finds that with Suo, it's incredible despite it all. He wants this all the time, wants to try different things and figure out what they both like, wants to hold Suo's hand and pet his hair and kick his ass when he's being stupid.
I'll get to, his mind supplies, We've got all the time in the world.
The thought is almost too much, this amount of joy and hope a little painful with how big it feels in his chest, the space too small to confine it. It's still scary to expect good things but Haruka finds he feels little desire to talk himself out of it, to retreat and lash out in hopes of lessening any risk of disappointment. Suo won't abandon him again and even if he does, Haruka and the others will drag his ass right back.
So, for now, he'll let himself have this. Maybe he's going to need to spiral a bit later — he's sure Suo will do the same — but in this moment, he knows that this is the right choice. This is what he wants, and if Suo's warm laughter and sweet smiles, his firm hands and eager kisses, are anything to go by, he feel the same way.
"We should go." Suo says when they part next, all remorse. "The others will be waiting."
He's right, Haruka knows. Still, he sighs as they step apart, the sun too bright on his face for a moment. Squinting, he doesn't see Suo's hand coming until it's already grabbed his own, fingers intertwined. Haruka smiles.
"Ready?", Suo nods towards the door. "Let's see what the future holds."