Archive of Our Own

“Gyuvin, get your son off the table.” 

Ricky was busy folding their son’s newly washed pajamas. While Gyuvin was playing with their son—who’s currently dancing with his short hands and feet on top of the table to a song that Gyuvin played on the speaker—they’re both dancing in their own little world, and Ricky can’t help but to smile despite his tone.

“Shh, jagiya, we’re dancing.” Gyuvin didn’t even spare him a glance, he was busy holding their son’s tiny hands so that he wouldn't slip. Bruno Mars’ song blasting throughout their house. “Come on, baby! Shake that diaper of yours!”

“Gyuvin—”

“Ricky, we’re dancing.”

Ricky chuckled, folding the last onesie. He reached for the basket where the rest of the folded clothes were in, “I was just gonna say that I’m done. You thought I’m gonna stop you?”

He stood up, carrying the basket. After one last look to his husband and his son, he went upstairs while holding the basket so he could fix his son’s clothes in his little closet. 

Their son is only one year old, almost two. His birthday is in two months.

He could stand and also walk, but he couldn’t speak a full sentence yet. He could only speak a few words like Appa and Baba—Ricky is still a little bitter because his first word was Appa, as if he didn’t carry that little guy in his womb for nine months. The disrespect, right? He could also say a few Mandarin words that he often hears from Ricky when he’s talking to his mother—only good stuff, to his relief. Yujin would even call him Rui sometimes in a tone that his mother uses. He would also say random English words that he had heard through the videos that he likes to watch, and sometimes when he hears Matthew and Ricky talking. 

Yujin is an intelligent kid, Ricky would say that, that’s his son. He often insists that his son got it from him—of course, he would uplift himself. His husband argues that’s not true, though. They really love to claim whichever their son took from them. Gyuvin would say Yujin got his eyes, but Ricky would say it’s his eyes. Ricky would claim that Yujin got his nose, but as expected, Gyuvin would say it’s not even close. And whenever Ricky would say that Yujin got his stubbornness and loudness from Gyuvin, Gyuvin would suddenly say it’s Ricky’s. It always goes like that—and honestly, Ricky loves it.

He wouldn’t trade this life for anything. 

Their daily lives goes like this: Ricky would wake up at five in the morning to get ready. First, he would check their son on his crib next to their bed, then he would cook breakfast, check if his son’s milk reserves in the fridge would still be enough for until the next day, and then he’d take a bath, do his morning routines, and at seven in the morning Yujin would twist and turn in his crib before he stands up and wait there for Ricky to pick him up and bring him to their bed so he could wake up Gyuvin by pinching his cheeks and drumming his tiny palms onto his abdomen. Ricky would laugh whenever Gyuvin coughs, and then their son’s giggles would fill their room as Gyuvin squished his little body in his big arms. 

Ricky would take the chance when his husband and their son were playing on their bed to check his schedule for the day and the emails that he hadn’t checked the night before. Of course, it would always be full no matter how many times he had tried to clear it out. The life of being in the industry is that he seemed to never get the chance to breathe. It’s understandable, he only went back to his work after Yujin turned one and a half years old, after so many trial of convincing Gyuvin that he could do it now. His husband was just worried that he might still be experiencing postpartum—which in his case, wasn’t really nice at all. He went through a lot during the first three months after Yujin’s birth, then the next four months wasn’t also great because he had been so conscious about himself, he was so worried if he could still go back to modelling—he felt ugly, disgusting, and unattractive during those times but Gyuvin reassured him that he was still as beautiful as he used to be, that he looked more beautiful especially then. It might have been true, a lot of modelling projects were really lining up for him when his management announced that he’ll finally be back.

His body went back to before, he had adjusted back to everything. Maybe it’s because he is still young. He’s only 25 after all. 

Why so young and he already has a child, you ask? Well, once upon a time, 23 years old Ricky and Gyuvin, who at that time were still boyfriends, did something that couples usually do and kaboom, Little Kim Yujin (or Shen Weichen in his Chinese name) is here, being the sunshine that he is, brightening everyone’s lives—including their friends, parents, and maybe even neighbors. They got married when Ricky was still in his second trimester, his parents demanded Gyuvin to marry him as soon as possible with a threat that they’d hide Ricky from him (as if they would do that, they love Gyuvin). Gyuvin shook at that and proposed to Ricky the next day in their own apartment with just the two of them—and their little Yuyu in Ricky’s womb. 

After breakfast, Ricky would get ready to leave for work, Gyuvin would be preparing their bathtub to bathe their son, but before that he would carry him in his arms as they both watched Ricky drive away from their house. Sometimes Yujin would cry, sometimes when he’s in a good mood, he doesn’t. 

And today, Ricky got his day off because he had a deal with his company that he should be allowed to take a day off every week. He reasoned that his son is still very young, therefore he still needs Ricky’s presence. Even if they won’t allow him to, they know Ricky would still find a way. When hasn’t Shen Ricky gotten what he wants? Nice question, never. 

“Rwi-cky!” Gyuvin called out from downstairs.

Ricky didn’t even realize that he was zoning out while he was putting his son’s clothes in his closet. He immediately finished it before he went down to see why Gyuvin called him. Before he reached the last step of their stairs, he just realized that the music wasn’t on anymore, but he could hear a faint sound from their TV in the living room. Ricky hears the familiar tune of Pororo’s theme song playing, that’s Yujin’s favorite. He could hear 안녕 친구들 even if he was still a few steps away from them. So he walked towards there, and he saw his son sitting sideways on his father’s lap, he was hugging his bunny plushie, his head was leaning on Gyuvin’s neck, though he was swaying his head to the music. It was that serious for him.

Gyuvin immediately turned his head towards him and smiled brightly, “Hello, beautiful. Are you done? Come sit here.” He tapped the space beside them.

Yujin removed his eyes from the TV when he heard Ricky’s footsteps. His big, doe eyes sparkled. He abandoned his father’s lap and settled the plushie there as his replacement, Ricky just stood there and waited for his son to waddle towards him. Gyuvin had his hand on Yujin’s back to guard him in case he fell off as he went down from the couch. Ricky can’t help but smile when Yujin runs to him, his small feet tapping loudly on their tiled floor. He runs with both of his arms flapping on his sides so it was too adorable, Ricky wanted to bite his flushed cheeks. 

“Baba!” Yujin giggled, his tiny yet chubby arms opened to hug Ricky as he ran. Ricky crouched down with his arms open, waiting for Yujin to reach him. And when he did, his son hugged him, he leaned his cheeks on Ricky’s chest, red as tomatoes. Then after a few seconds, Yujin lifted his head and tapped his little hand on Ricky’s chest to get his attention, then when Ricky looked at him, he pointed his fingers at the TV. “Baba, powowo?”

“Hm?”

“Yuyu, powowo."

“Yuyu’s watching pororo? Is it nice?” Ricky caressed his son’s back.

Yujin smiled, showing the first few teeth that grew in his gums, his cheeks were so round and so red. His black and thick hair was messy from running, Ricky brushed it, “Nice!”

“Of course it’s nice, you watch this every day,” Gyuvin laughed. He was still sitting on the couch, patting the plushie that their son had put on his lap. “I’ve already memorized everything about this, Yujinie.”

Ricky chuckled before carrying his son in his arms as they made their way to sit on the couch. “Next time, Appa will be singing that in the bathroom.” He sat next to Gyuvin who immediately wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Ricky leaned his head on the crook of Gyuvin’s neck, when Gyuvin was about to play with Ricky’s hair, he hissed. His husband just laughed at that. 

Yujin was singing along to the music despite just mumbling the lyrics. He’s like when international kpop fans try to sing along to the song at a concert despite not knowing how to speak Korean. Just complete gibberish and not even least comprehensible.

“What do you guys want to do today?” Ricky asked. 

Gyuvin hummed, thinking. “Didn’t Hao hyung tell you that they’ll be visiting today? With Haneul? He said they’ll give us Haneul’s birthday invitation. I heard it’s Ditto themed, it seems like Hanbin hyung has influenced his son, too.”

“Did they?” Ricky couldn’t recall. But he just nodded as he absentmindedly caressed his son’s cheeks, Yujin leaned into the touch. “Haneul is so big now. I just saw Hanbin hyung’s story, I can’t believe he’s almost three.”

“They were here last week, Ricky, you’ve seen him in person,” Gyuvin shook his head, he was now playing with the small dangling cross earring with rhinestones that Ricky was wearing. “Remember when Hao hyung asked us if we were just having baby fever because of Haneul when you told them you’re pregnant? I mean, true, but that was still so funny. They really thought you were insane for pulling a prank like that.” Gyuvin laughed. “Man, Jiwoong hyung almost punched me when we announced that.”

“Gyuvin, that’s because you had just graduated literally a month ago during that time.”

“I know!” Gyuvin pinched Ricky’s face, when Yujin saw that, his small hand that could only hold Gyuvin’s thumb with all of his fingers moved it away from Ricky. Gyuvin gasped, dramatically moving his free hand to his chest and sobbed. “Wow, Yuyu, I’m hurt.” He wiped his nonexistent tears. “You can’t do this to Appa, baby. I thought I’m your favorite?”

“Well, clearly not,” Ricky teased.

Yujin didn’t look at him despite Gyuvin tapping his shoulder so Yujin would pity him with his abandoned puppy look that obviously wouldn’t work on their son. Instead, their son turned his body and tilted his head like a confused puppy to Ricky, his big, round eyes blinking slowly. “Baba hurt?”

Ricky smiled, he cupped his son’s round face with both hands, his cheeks puffing from being squished. He pulled his son’s face closer as he peppered him with kisses. “I love you, Wǒ de xiǎo xīngxīng.”

“Xíngxīng!” Yujin copied him cheerfully.

Ricky laughed, “Xīngxīng,” he repeated with the correct tonation. “Say it again, Bǎobǎo.”

“Xíngxīng,” he tilted his head.

When Ricky saw the small pout on his son’s lips, he couldn’t help but smile. “No, baby, it’s Xīngxīng, listen to Baba carefully. Xíngxīng means planet, Bǎobǎo. It’s Xīngxīng.” He tried to say it slower this time.

“What does Xīngxīng mean, then?” Gyuvin curiously asked, it was the first time he spoke, not wanting to disturb the beautiful scene in front of him. He didn’t even know he'd been smiling the whole time. 

Ricky glanced at him, “It means star. I call him my little star,” he chuckled. Then he turned to their son once again, “Why are you pouting? Is it hard?”

Yujin leaned his head back to Ricky’s chest, “Hard, Baba!” 

Their son is truly adorable. 

Gyuvin pulled their son’s little head closer to plant a kiss on his forehead, then cupped his small face between his huge hands. Yujin’s lips pursed in a pout, his eyes were confusedly blinking at his father, but muffled giggles were heard later on. Gyuvin’s obviously having the cuteness aggression that he usually has for babies, sometimes even for pets—especially for that rat-looking grey dog of theirs at their family house in Apgujeong, but of course Ricky wouldn’t say that out loud or Gyuvin will surely cry. “Aigoo, my baby is so cute.”

“You’re squishing him, Gyuvin,” Ricky laughed as he was looking at his son’s face—still adorable as ever. “Do you wanna see your Haneul hyung later? Will you play with him?” Ricky asked so softly, while brushing his fingers through their son’s soft hair.

Yujin mumbled something that Ricky didn’t understand because Gyuvin is still having so much fun playing with Yujin’s face. “Yes, Baba!” Gyuvin spoke with a high pitch to imitate a kid’s voice.

Ricky held Gyuvin’s wrist and pulled his hands away from Yujin’s face—who just giggled, clearly enjoying the way Gyuvin was playing with him, “His cheeks are so red now,” Ricky kissed Yujin’s cheeks and sniffed his baby scent that smelled closely to a baby powder and marshmallow. God, Ricky wishes he’d never outgrew that, he’ll miss it so much. “What do you wanna play with your Haneul hyung?”

“Lego!” Yujin beamed. His eyes turned crescent as he smiled, his long lashes fluttered.

He really loves playing blocks, which he calls lego. Gyuvin and Ricky still don't let him play the small ones since there’s a possibility that their son might eat it or put it anywhere that he shouldn’t—like his nose for example. Gyuvin has learned his lesson when his mother told him about the story of how he ended up in the hospital at six in the morning when he was one year old (he inserted the head of the lego in his ears, which thankfully, wasn’t in so deep). Yujin is still at the age where he doesn’t know if something is edible or not. Sometimes you’d see him curiously biting his toys, thus why he has to be within Gyuvin’s sight wherever he goes.

“You’ll play lego? That’s nice,” Ricky smiled, “Will you let Baba join?”

Yujin nodded enthusiastically.

Gyuvin covered Ricky’s face when he leaned onto him to see his son’s face, Ricky groaned at the sudden weight but he didn’t move. “How about Appa, Yujinie? I always play with you!”

“Appa play!” Yujin giggled.

With that, Gyuvin sat properly again—still close to Ricky—with a smug look on his face as he stuck his tongue out mockingly to Ricky who just shook his head and rolled his eyes, “I’m really the favorite, Kim Ricky. Catch up.”

“You wish, Kim Gyuvin.” Ricky snickered.

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The doorbell has rang.

Just in time when Ricky is almost finished cooking their dinner—or at least helped in cooking. It was all Gyuvin, all Ricky did was to check it from time to time and chop some ingredients while Gyuvin busied himself with their son, who had just woken up from his nap. Ricky doesn’t know how Gyuvin had managed doing this every day, although he never failed to express his appreciation for his husband. Gyuvin literally chose to work from home just so Ricky could go back to the industry—he chose to stay with their son, to take care of him while also making sure that he’s taking care of Ricky just as much. 

Ricky could never ask for more.

He has a loving family—a very perfect husband, and an even perfect and lovely son. 

While turning off the stove, Ricky reminded himself to tell his husband how much he appreciates him later. He’s so sure Gyuvin wouldn’t act normal about it and the possibility that he’d cry isn’t low, therefore not even close to zero. Maybe reward him with something if he’s gonna be good tonight.

Gyuvin was the one who went to the door, carrying their son in his arms.

“Yujinie!” 

Ricky doesn’t even need to look to know whose voice was that that pealed through their doorway, Ricky’s pretty sure they haven’t even taken off their shoes yet, had not even entered the door entirely. 

Just a minute later, Sung Hanbin appeared in the kitchen, now carrying Yujin. 

“Hi, Ricky,” he greeted with his ever-so bright smile, “Oh, you cooked? I was confused why Gyuvin was the one who opened the door!” He chuckled.

Ricky shook his head while laughing.  “Don’t worry, it’s edible.”

He covered the pan with a lid since it’s still a little bit early to eat dinner, they’re used to eating dinner at seven. He washed his hands and wiped it with a paper towel before throwing it in the bin, he walked towards the two. Hanbin was holding Yujin who’s now standing on the table, just like earlier, Hanbin was cheering him up while his son was dancing while Hanbin sang a famous nursery song. 

“Bǎobǎo,” Ricky called. Yujin turned his head almost immediately, his round eyes turning into crescent as he smiled, Hanbin remained holding Yujin’s hand until the boy reached for his Baba. “You keep dancing, huh? Wanna be like Uncle Hanbin?”

“Bring him to my studio, I’ll teach him and Haneul,” Hanbin laughed.

After that, they both decided to go to the living room. Ricky was expecting that he’d see only Gyuvin, Zhang Hao, and Haneul there. But to his surprise, Jiwoong, Taerae, and Gunwook were chatting with Gyuvin. No wonder he could hear Taerae’s laugh—Ricky even thought he was hallucinating. Haneul was sitting on Jiwoong’s lap, holding his toy car that Taerae definitely gifted him. It was a BMW model that Ricky isn’t really familiar with, he also gave Yujin the same one but a different model and brand. 

“Yujinie!” Gunwook immediately ran towards them, Yujin giggled. “I missed you, baby! Hanbin hyung literally just snatched you away before I even got to see you.” He threw a glare at Hanbin who just chuckled at him and shrugged. He took Yujin from Ricky who just gave up because clearly, his friends weren’t planning on letting him carry his son tonight. “Did you miss Uncle?”

Yujin was playing with Gunwook’s collar, “Miss Wookie!”

Gunwook cooed, he almost sobbed. “Hyung, I’m literally gonna take him home.”

Gyuvin raised his brows, “Go create your own.”

Jiwoong clicked his tongue, “No one’s creating.”

Hanbin snickered, "Why not? He's not that young anymore."

“You should be,” Zhang Hao laughed, shaking his head. “Come on, you’re thirty.”

“I’m twenty-nine, Zhang Hao,” Jiwoong sighed. He was playing with Haneul’s hand — Haneul who is currently waving his tiny hand at Yujin who smiled bright. 

“You are thirty in a few months,” Hao argued back, Jiwoong just scoffed.

“Wookie, Yuyu down,” Yujin lightly tapped Gunwook’s chest and the guy just planted a kiss on the boy’s hair before putting him down. Yujin immediately ran towards the couch to go to Haneul—but of course, not without being stopped by Taerae who pinched his flushed cheeks, and Jiwoong who high-fived him. Then Taerae pulled him back to fix his hair.

Before he could even go back to Haneul, Zhang Hao called him, “Bǎobèi,” Yujin was already familiar with that because even his grandparents call him that, so he knew he was being called. “Nǐ bù dǎsuàn xiàng shūshu wènhǎo ma?” He asked, clearly testing if a one year old could understand Mandarin—which is impossible, even Ricky couldn’t speak Mandarin well even when he was two years old, and he is Chinese. He can’t even speak Korean well until now—he’s been living here for seven years. 

Gyuvin scratched his nape. Gunwook, Jiwoong, and Taerae were just as confused but didn’t ask. Hanbin, who learned Mandarin to impress Hao before, was, of course, just smiling. Haneul was still quietly sitting on Jiwoong’s lap, his eyes big and sparky like Hao’s but lashes were long and thick like Hanbin’s, his cheeks and nose flushed, also like Hanbin’s. Zhang Hao would throw a fit if someone voiced that out, saying that his lashes are just as thick and as long as Hanbin’s, and his cheeks could also blush under really high temperatures, which is simply, not true.

Ricky was just leaning on Gyuvin when he felt a nudge, Gyuvin’s brows were furrowed when he turned to look at him. “What did hyung say?” He asked.

“He just asked if your son’s not gonna greet him,” Ricky whispered, laughing at the way Gyuvin looked so obviously confused. He used his index and middle finger to pinch Gyuvin’s adorable button nose, “Erase that expression or Yujin will get concerned.”

“I was confused, you see,” but he still flashed a grin.

When they turned their focus back on their son, who was already toddling towards Hao who was sitting next to Jiwoong, Jiwoong used his one hand to guide Yujin on his back in case he fell backward, and Hao opened his arms to welcome the kid with a hug. Yujin, as he was used to, kissed Zhang Hao on the cheek. 

“Seems like your Baba is really teaching you a lot, huh?” Zhang Hao laughed, pushing up the hair covering Yujin’s forehead before he looked at Ricky who shrugged his shoulders, a proud smirk on his lips, Hao almost rolled his eyes too loudly at his smugness. “So cute, you can practically talk to Haneulie in Mandarin now, can you, Bǎobèi?”

“Hyung, Haneul can only count in Mandarin,” Hanbin said, but his mouth immediately became a thin line when Hao cocked his head towards him and raised his brows. “And well—Haneulie could also write his name! My baby is really amazing, like—” Zhang Hao kept his eyes on Hanbin, definitely threatening, already expecting that Hanbin would say his own name. Hanbin’s lips twitched, Gyuvin almost laughed at how he obviously gulped. “—his Dada!”

“Ah, hyung,” Taerae scoffed. “You sounded pathetic just now.”

“Hyung, stand up,” Gunwook laughed, “Don’t let Zhang Hao’s glare soften you!”

“You were almost shaking,” Gyuvin added, he couldn’t hold his laughter anymore so he leaned his whole body to Ricky while basically smacking his husband’s shoulder, Ricky swatted his arms away. “Gonna pee on your pants, too?” He teased Hanbin with a sly look on his face that everyone, except the kids, in the room knows too well. They’ve all received that kind of look from Gyuvin, and they all ended up pissed. 

Now, he’s testing Sung Hanbin—the saint, the patron, the kind one with the most patience—he has never succeeded.

“You don’t get to say that, Kim Gyuvin,” Gunwook also shot back.

Really, there’s no serious conversation at all when they are all together. It doesn’t matter if they are all too old to act like this, teasing your friend and putting them in misery isn’t really something you’ll outgrow in time. That’s why they all clicked, they all have the same childishness in them.

“Where’s Matthew?” Ricky finally decided to join in, despite his question having no connection to their banters. It never mattered anyway.

Zhang Hao finally let go of Yujin after a whole minute of whispering something to the kid, who was just nodding to whatever Hao was telling him—pretty sure the boy didn’t understand anything at all because, well, he’s a toddler. He was too excited to finally play with Haneul that as soon as Hao let go of him, he had already turned to Haneul and they started talking—Yujin was speaking in gibberish that Ricky only heard one clear word, while Haneul was answering him back as if he really understood what the younger boy wanted to say. Maybe he does understand, they’re both still toddlers anyway, they’re the only ones who could understand each other. 

Taerae was watching the kids with a big smile on his face, his dimples deepening on both of his cheeks, “Matthew flew to Canada two days ago.”

“Oh?” Gyuvin tilted his head, Yujin definitely took that from him. “I didn’t know!”

Gunwook grinned, “He only went there for a vacation. He’ll only be there for a week.” He told them, he leaned his back on the couch and took one of the throw pillows on his lap, “I’m pretty sure he’ll visit here once he lands here. I told him about going here tonight and he was sulking because he told me I should’ve waited for him.”

Hanbin chuckled, “Why didn’t you come with him?”

“Eh.. his dad actually invited me,” Gunwook sighed, “But like, my work wouldn’t allow me. You know how busy it is in the firm right now. We gotta focus on taxes.”

Jiwoong clicked his tongue. The two kids were now sitting on each of his legs and having their own serious discussion about probably how their milk tasted this morning. Yujin looked like he was upset about something with his lips in a pout—Gyuvin wanted so badly to reach him and squish his small face in between his hands. “I told you, you should’ve just entered the industry, you have the face for it,” of course, Jiwoong would say that.

Ricky laughed, “As if it’s any better, hyung.”

“Gunwook has the gift of being a lawyer,” Hao nodded, he said that in his matter-of-factly tone. He’s not wrong, “But seriously, you could’ve chosen a different department. You know capitalism is too much right now.”

“Hey, don’t say that in front of the victims of capitalism,” Gyuvin butted in, eyeing Jiwoong, Taerae and Ricky, and everyone immediately understood what he meant. The room bursted out laughing.  

“To be fair, we all are,” Taerae responded. 

The night stretched long, it took them ten minutes before they all decided to finally eat the dinner that Gyuvin cooked—and well, Ricky prepared. 

Hao prepared Haneul’s food while Hanbin went to get their son settled on the chair. He was wiping off the milk on his son’s chin because he had just finished his bottle. Taerae sat beside Jiwoong, Gunwook was already serving rice on their plates as the youngest one in the room, excluding the two babies who, of course, cannot do it right now. Gyuvin settled down at the other end of the table, adjacent to him was Hao. Ricky has Yujin on his lap while Gyuvin serves him his food. Yujin preferred sitting on his parents’ lap instead of sitting on his own, and since they are still feeding him anyway, he could only clumsily hold his spoon and most of his food would end up on the floor instead. 

They already prepared Yujin’s food earlier, which is just mashed potatoes and carrots that Yujin loves. He also loves rice so Ricky put some on his kiddie plate that has dividers, it’s the same one that Haneul is using. 

The table was loud and full of laughter. Just adults talking about their jobs—more like complaining, but they were also telling each other about the fun parts. Gunwook talked about how his seniors thought he was an intern because he was too young to be licensed, then he told them how he bragged about being too smart that’s why he’s there. He said he still gets a few weird stares from his seniors who were basically his father’s age, or even older. Jiwoong told them the story of how he kept being tongue tied while delivering his lines that they ended up doing multiple takes, he could hear the staff cursing under their breaths, some even walked out. Taerae talked about the incident where he went to the studio a day after his fever went down—Hanbin immediately lectured him about that, telling him that it’s not good for his health, Jiwoong agreed on that—and then that his voice kept cracking when he tried to sing, the producer even asked him if he secretly took testosterone because his voice went an octave deeper and huskier, Taerae almost cried that day. Hanbin told them the story of how the mothers of his students kept on staying at the studio during class hours, they were even bringing food like cakes, coffee, sometimes even boxes of pizza that he would decide to share with his students later on. Zhang Hao’s face soured almost immediately, Gyuvin laughed out loud and Ricky almost slapped his mouth because his mouth was still full. Of course Sung Hanbin’s story is something wholesome, and not at all funny—though, definitely, Hao didn’t think it was funny, not even a bit. Ricky swears he heard Hao whispering ‘That’s because they like you, idiot.’ in Mandarin while Hanbin was telling his story intently. Zhang Hao told them about his rehearsal for a recital when his instrument decided to not cooperate with him one day, the bow snapped just when they were about to finish. He had to borrow someone else’s, but he said he wasn’t really comfortable using other people’s instruments and that the emotional connection wasn’t there or whatever that means. Gyuvin talked about the funny encounter he had at the grocery store during one of Ricky’s days off, so he left Yujin with him. He told them about the alive crab on the seafood section that almost cutted off his index finger if only his reflex wasn’t fast enough. Gunwook told him it’s not that funny, Gyuvin almost gave him a finger, Ricky immediately held his hand down. Then Ricky told them that his recent brand deal was so demanding—the schedule that they gave him was a whole two weeks, tight and packed, he’d be working even on his supposedly day off—that he almost lashed out on them, but in his profession, that’s not allowed. Taerae told him that he never cared about what’s allowed and what's not, Gyuvin agreed, Ricky glared at him. 

And the conversation went on. 

Gyuvin made sure that Ricky’s plate was full. He would glance at him from time to time just to check if he could eat well with Yujin on his lap, but surely, he was already too used to it. 

“Bǎobǎo, want more rice?” Ricky talked to his son while his friends were busy talking about Hanbin and Hao’s plan for Haneul’s birthday. He took the piece of rice on his cheeks, “Or water?”

Yujin raised his hand to scratch his eyes in sleepy manners but Gyuvin was faster to stop him because it might irritate his eyes more. Instead of answering Ricky’s question, Yujin leaned onto his chest. His energy seemed to lower now as exhaustion sinked into him, he’s probably so full now that he’s feeling sleepy. 

“Sleepy?” Gyuvin asked, leaning closer so he could talk to his son properly. Yujin pouted, his eyes sparkling, blinking so slowly that—Ricky was sure of—three blinks away from fully shutting off. “You haven’t even washed up, baby. Look at your hands full of rice,” Gyuvin held his son’s hand and raised it. 

His tiny fist was, in fact, full of rice. Yujin had his hand clenched, covered in rice, and definitely had more in his palm. Ricky didn’t even know when he had grabbed it. Probably when he was busy feeding himself. 

“Do you plan to take all of these rice to Dreamland, Yujin?” Ricky chuckled, already unclenching Yujin’s fist. The boy just pouted even more but he was too sleepy to whine, “You sure have a lot of strength,” he said when he had a hard time opening his son’s palm.

“He took it from me, that’s one of the Kims traits, you know,” Gyuvin bragged.

“I don’t know about that,” Ricky raised his brow. “I’m pretty sure the Shens are fighters too.”

“Really?”

Ricky covered Yujin’s ears, “I’m gonna bite off that smirk off of you, Kim Gyuvin.” He threatened.

But who is he kidding? Of course, Kim Gyuvin just smiled even brightly at that. “Bet.”

“Yah, we’re still here!” 

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On one of the days when Ricky had to go to work, which is to say, more often than not. Gyuvin does everything in the house.

He would bathe Yujin after they bid their goodbyes to Ricky and watch his car disappear. Yujin didn’t cry today—to Gyuvin’s relief—but he did ask a lot of questions about what time Ricky would go home, or if they could call Ricky right after he just left. Gyuvin never refused, they’d call Ricky who’d immediately answer his phone and talk for at least ten more minutes or sometimes until Ricky reached their company building.

In the afternoon, he would feed his son again. Give him his milk bottle, while he slowly falls asleep on the couch as Gyuvin starts vacuuming around the room. Yujin isn’t a handful, really. He could lull himself to sleep, he could play by himself (Gyuvin would often play with him if he’s not doing anything), but of course, he’s still a baby. There are days when he’d cry for an hour straight for some unknown reason—like if he suddenly decided that he didn’t like the taste of his milk that morning, when it’s just the same as the other days’. Or sometimes when Yujin is feeling under the weather, he’d need Gyuvin close to him everywhere and all the time or else it’s gonna be two hours of crying minimum.

Anyway, back to the present, it’s one of those days when Yujin woke up with a smile on his face—most likely because it’s Ricky’s face he saw as soon as he opened his eyes, but Gyuvin wouldn’t admit that.

Yujin was sitting on the couch, surrounded by his animal plushies while drinking his favorite Pororo drink. They’d only allow him to drink that at least twice a week because it’s so sweet, and who would even want a child having a sugar rush? Exactly. No one. Not even if Yujin is the most adorable kid ever. But a kid having a sugar rush is really that stressful. You wouldn’t even get Yujin to take his afternoon nap, he’d just run around the house, and of course Gyuvin would be running after him because his little legs still cannot balance his whole body yet, not when he had just learned how to walk. The day would end with Gyuvin’s body aching like he had just gone through an intense exercise and he used to be a student athlete so that speaks quite a lot. Ricky would massage him anyway, it’s really not that bad

“Is it good?” Gyuvin sat beside Yujin, he lifted one of his plushies and put it on his lap, because one thing that Yujin would cry for is when his plushies were away from him. “Will you give Appa a sip?”

Yujin didn’t turn his head at first, he was too busy watching on the TV and drinking his Pororo drink. When he did, he blinked at Gyuvin slowly, his face wet and his cheeks flushed, “Appa drink?” 

Gyuvin hummed, brushing up his son’s hair. “Is Pororo even that good?” He acted as if he was thinking, trying to see whether his son would defend his favorite character.

He did. Yujin stood up, Gyuvin’s hand guided him, he was still holding the bottle of his Pororo drink with his two hands and he still could barely hold it well. Gyuvin wondered if he really had drunk any of it or the liquid just went to their couch, on his face and onto his shirt. So much for bathing him. Ricky would definitely scold him if he saw their son in this state. 

“Powowo good!” He screamed with all his might that he was in the protest. The Pororo Movement. “Appa want drink?” He tilted his head. 

Gyuvin nodded. He couldn’t help but chuckle at his son’s face right now. His cheeks looked sticky to touch. “You’re gonna have to take a bath again, Yujinie. I’m gonna be scolded by your Baba.”

Yujin gasped like it’s the most shocking thing he has ever heard in his one year of living. “No scold!”

“Yeah, no scold. So you have to wash up.”

His son smiled. “Appa, drink,” he pushed the drink to Gyuvin’s mouth like he’s not accepting any refusal, not like Gyuvin was planning to say no to his kid. He can never do that. 

When Gyuvin had a sip, Yujin was just blinking at him like he was waiting for his father’s reaction. 

The taste wasn’t even sorted out by Gyuvin’s tongue, Yujin immediately asked, “Appa, yum?” He tilted his head, pulling away the drink from Gyuvin like he’d take it if Gyuvin found the taste good.

It was good. Good for a kid's taste anyway. 

“Yum! I like it, baby,” Gyuvin chuckled. 

Yujin jumped, Gyuvin held his hand, “Powowo drink good!”

After that, Gyuvin had washed Yujin up. When they went back to the couch to watch another episode of Pororo—as if they haven’t watched any of it already, but Yujin seemed to never get tired of it—Yujin was finally slowly falling asleep on his father’s lap, hugging his rabbit plushie. He even dropped his unfinished bottle next to him.

Gyuvin brushed his son’s hair. He sighed in relief and leaned his back on the couch before closing his eyes. He felt tired, honestly. Even though today wasn’t as eventful as some days were, he still felt tired from doing a lot of chores. He stayed up late last night to finish his paperwork and read through his emails. He's just glad that their CEO was kind enough to let him work from home. The CEO is also him but that’s not that important. 

Before completely dozing off, his phone rang.

He reached for it and saw Ricky’s contact name. His face immediately lit up before he answered the call. 

“Hi, love,” Ricky greeted him. His voice sounded soft—like he was too tired and sleepy to make his voice loud and clear. “Have you guys eaten?”

“Hi, pretty. We already did,” Gyuvin smiled like Ricky could see him stupidly smiling. He feels like a high school girl talking to her crush right now. It really never changes. “How about you? You sound tired, jagiya. Yujin’s sleeping right now so I’m just taking a rest.”

Ricky hummed, there was a movement from the other line, sounds like he was shifting on his seat to find a more comfortable position. “I haven’t eaten because the shoot was continuous, but I will. I’m just having my makeup retouched right now. Take a break, love. You can sleep, Yujin’s definitely going to sleep for two hours.” 

That’s true. Yujin always takes a two hour power nap. 

“Make sure to eat,” Gyuvin reminded, his tone was sounding more like a mom now, he could hear Ricky’s snicker from the other side. “I miss you, baby.”

“It hasn’t been seven hours since I left,” Ricky laughed. “But I miss you too, you know that.”

“I do,” Gyuvin bit his lower lip, his jaw started hurting from smiling. “You like me that much?”

“Eh, not really,” Ricky responded. “Just enough to marry you and have your kid, probably?”

“So, you love me so much.”

“I suppose, yeah,” he laughed. Gyuvin’s heart jumped at the sound, Ricky sounded more alive now than he was when he first spoke. That’s good—great even. “I love you.” He whispered, he probably moved his mouth close to the speaker just to say that.

Gyuvin grinned, “I love you more,” he responded. He looked down at their son who’s still peacefully sleeping, he continued brushing his hair before he focused back on the call. “But baby, don’t whisper like that or you’re gonna have to take a hiatus again for a year and a half, I swear—”

“Kim Gyuvin, you freak. You’re so dirty-minded, asshole.”

“You don’t get it, baby.” He smirked. Sometimes he also thinks he’s gone crazy. “It sounded seductive to me.”

“I wasn’t even trying to! You’re just crazy.”

“Maybe I am,” Gyuvin nodded to himself. Yeah, he definitely had gone crazy. “You still don’t understand that even if you just stand in front of me with a stoic face, I’d still get—” he covered Yujin’s ears, “—hard. You’re just sexy like that, my wife.”

“Kim Gyuvin, please.” Ricky sighed, definitely face palmed too. And rolled his eyes. 

Gyuvin felt the satisfaction that he wanted to laugh out loud. His daily mission to piss Ricky off had—yet again—succeeded. 

“I’m kidding,” Gyuvin smiled, “Just about the part about having another baby though, the rest are the truths.”

“Shut up, Gyuvin,” Ricky chuckled. “Ah by the way, love, I passed by a fruit store earlier and saw fresh mangoes. Would you like me to buy some for you? I’ll buy strawberries too, and Yujin’s grapes.”

“Of course, baby, who would refuse mangoes?”

“Not you,” he responded. The both of them laughed. “I’m gonna be going home early today. I just have another hour before I can go home.”

“Alright, love,” Gyuvin gently pats Yujin on his round tummy, “I’ll be waiting. Text me before you drive, I love you.”

“I love you. Kiss Yujin for me.”

“I will.”

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

They say, once you have children, your life revolves around them.

Maybe, that’s true. Ricky and Gyuvin knew that, but it wasn’t anything out of being forced to—they wanted it. They would devote their whole life, their time, their whole being to Yujin if it means having to witness every milestone that their kid would reach. 

They both noticed how their lives had changed when Yujin came into their world. It’s nothing subtle, more like a one blow without a warning. It’s quiet, to the point that you’d only realize it if you ponder a bit about what your life had become. You would only know it when you look back to the memories of the past. 

For example, Ricky used to love going out by himself, even if Gyuvin was already his boyfriend at that time. He loves to go shopping for clothes, accessories, and anything that his eyes think was worth purchasing. He would get his hair and nails done, go to his go-to derma clinic, literally everything that he could do leisurely. Sometimes they’d go to clubs with their friends—they knew about the fact that your life really changes when you have your own family because they noticed that when Hanbin and Hao had Haneul, since they’re usually the first ones who’ll agree for a night out, but when Haneul came, it became less and less frequent. They understood it, of course. 

For Gyuvin, he loved playing online games with their friends. He could stay at home for a whole day just playing with them. Sometimes he’d play with Matthew, or with Gunwook, most of the time they’ll all play together along with Jiwoong, Taerae, and Hanbin. Hao and Ricky weren't exactly fans of that. Most of his time,  when he’s not playing, he’s spending it with Ricky. It’s more like he can’t breathe without him, that’s the truth. Gyuvin would choose to be attached by the hip with Ricky if he’s asked to, when he told Ricky about that, he called him absurd. They’d go on dates—to the amusement parks, malls, out of town, beaches, and they went out of the country thrice to celebrate each other’s birthday and their first anniversary. They personally like going to a place with overlooking views, it clears both of their minds. 

But now, they barely go out with just the two of them. Gyuvin had barely touched his computer, he could only play one game during the night before he sleeps but with how usually exhausted he is, he can’t. Ricky barely goes out to shop for new clothes now. The only new clothes that he gets are from the brands that he'd deal with. Sometimes he just wears Gyuvin’s clothes for a change—like he used to do when they were still boyfriends—Gyuvin is pretty fashionable anyway, and they share one walk-in closet. So what’s Ricky’s is Gyuvin’s, what’s Gyuvin’s is Ricky’s. Gyuvin had never worn any of Ricky’s clothes, he said it was too extravagant. He wears his perfumes though.

After the realization, Ricky had realized that he had never missed the life he had before Yujin. Maybe he would reminisce about it because, of course, he had a fun life. He was pretty social despite being introverted himself. But, never really regretting that having Yujin meant having to lose the lifestyle he had gotten used to. Never. If he could turn back time, he’d still do it again. Though maybe, they could have Yujin a little later than the original timeline, like they could be at least twenty five before they had him. But still, they never regretted any of it.

“What do you think you would be doing right now if we didn’t have Yujin?” Gyuvin asked one night, while they were both tucked in a thick comforter. Ricky was lying on his side, facing Gyuvin, and Gyuvin was in the same position as him. Yujin was already sleeping in between them. “Do you think it would be different?”

Ricky looked Gyuvin in the eyes, his hands were slowly patting their son. “Yours might be different because you’ll be working in the company, mine would still be the same.”

“Right,” Gyuvin smiled. He extended his arms and brushed the stray hair on Ricky’s forehead, “I would have aged faster if that happened.”

“Hey, Gyuvin. What does that make me?” He pursed his lips, “Do you want to start working in the company?”

“Dad’s there, he can manage for a few more years until Yujin goes to school.” He chuckled, brushing Yujin’s hair. Their son stirred, but, thankfully, was still very much asleep. He’s definitely a heavy sleeper like Gyuvin. “Besides, it’s fun here. I get to spend more time with Yujinie.”

“Aren’t you tired?”

Gyuvin smiled at him, “It’s tiring. But I love our son too much to even care. I only feel the exhaustion when I’m already in bed.”

“Poor baby,” Ricky pinched Gyuvin’s cheeks. Gyuvin hissed at that. “I have three days off next week. Do you perhaps—”

“Yes, let’s go out.”

Ricky was startled by how fast Gyuvin answered, “You answered too fast. I didn’t even finish.” 

“You’ll ask me if I want to go on a date, right?” Gyuvin smirked. “Come on, Rwicky, I know you too well.”

He raised his brow, “What if that wasn’t my question?”

Gyuvin lifted his body with his elbow and rested his head on his palm, “Then what is?” He also raised his brow, “Huh? What is it, my wife?”

“You kept calling me that, you’re so annoying,” Ricky rolled his eyes, though his smile was saying otherwise. “I wanna ask if you wanna be left here alone while me and Yujin go out for a date.”

Gyuvin pouted, glaring at Ricky like it helps. He just looked like a small puppy acting tough, but the thing is: he’s not small at all. “That’s so mean.”

“I’m kidding,” Ricky reached out to touch Gyuvin’s ears, “Yeah, I was gonna ask if you wanna go on a date with me? It’s been a while. We could just ask Matthew and Gunwook to babysit him for a few hours, they’d love that.”

“You planned this. I know you already asked them.”

He grinned, “Well. If it wasn't for my husband knowing me so well.” Ricky added, “Just for one day. We could go somewhere nearby. Eat outside, stroll around. Maybe buy something for ourselves.”

Ricky glanced down at Yujin first. Their son was sleeping sprawled in the middle of the bed, one leg thrown over Ricky’s waist, his tiny fist curled against Gyuvin’s chest. He looked so warm and safe between them that Ricky’s heart physically ached. 

“If we’re lucky, we could stay in a hotel until dawn to spend time alone.”

Gyuvin stared at him, then his lips forming the most insufferably smug grin Ricky had ever seen on a human being. “You’re planning something dirty, Ricky-ssi?” He whispered, still grinning like an idiot. “You’re really seducing me, I knew it.”

“Stop making it weird,” Ricky shoved his shoulder lightly. 

“But you said hotel.”

“And?”

“You said spend time alone.”

“Kim Gyuvin.”

“You’re basically asking for—”

Ricky slapped a hand over his mouth before he could finish the sentence. “You and your dirty mouth!” 

Gyuvin burst into muffled laughter against his palm, shoulders shaking so hard the bed moved slightly. 

“Your son is sleeping, Gyuvin,” Ricky hissed. “But seriously, love,” he said in his whiny tone that he knew Gyuvin could never resist. 

Gyuvin grabbed Ricky’s wrist gently and kissed the center of his palm before lowering his hand. His smile softened after that. “A day with just the two of us sounds great,” he admitted softly. “Do you miss it?”

About quiet mornings with just the two of them before Ricky goes to the studio, and Gyuvin to his university. About spontaneous out of town trips. About Gyuvin picking up Ricky from his schedules because he knows that Ricky hates driving. About Ricky dragging Gyuvin to the nearest convenience store because he craved strawberry milk at three in the morning after they had just finished binge watching. About dates that didn’t revolve around tantrums episodes and diaper bags and making sure tiny hands didn’t grab dangerous things and tried to eat it. It used to be their thing. They used to like doing everything together. 

They both looked down at Yujin again.

Their son snored softly. Small. Warm. So perfect. 

Ricky smiled, “No,” he answered honestly. “But I miss you.” 

“You’re living with me, baby. You see me every day. I honestly expected you’d grow tired of me because of that.”

“I know,” Ricky chuckled quietly. “But we’re just Appa and Baba now.” He brushed Yujin’s hair away from his forehead carefully, somehow it just kept going back so there’s really no point in brushing it up. “Sometimes I miss being just Ricky and Gyuvin.”

Gyuvin stared at Ricky with a smile on his lips, admiring the man in front of him. He could never get tired of this. “I miss you too,” he whispered. “In fact, I miss you more.”

The room smelled like the clean scent of laundry, baby powder, and baby shampoo that Ricky loved so much. Yujin shifted in his sleep and he unconsciously reached for Ricky’s shirt, bunching the fabric in his tiny fist like his Baba would get away from him. Ricky smiled so fondly it almost hurt to look at. 

“He’s getting so big,” he murmured. “I can’t believe he is almost two. How did time pass by so quickly?”

Gyuvin sighed, “It felt like it was just last month when I was having a hard time looking for a store that sells peeled grapes. I remember looking everywhere for that with Gunwook that I just gave up and bought it then peeled all of it myself—”

Ricky sat up, “You peeled it?” His voice almost sounded upset.

Gyuvin got alarmed, “I mean—baby, it was really, really hard to find. I swear.” He grunted, “You enjoyed it anyway, you don’t know how nervous we were that we spent five more minutes in the car contemplating.”

“You traitor.”

“Hey, it’s all in the past, okay? You don’t even like grapes.”

He rolled his eyes and let his husband pass this time. Only this time. Then they both looked back at their son who’s still breathing at ease. 

When Yujin was born, Ricky loved watching his chest move. A sign of life. A proof that he is real—that Yujin is really theirs. The first time that they brought him home, Ricky was overly conscious about everything. He asked Gyuvin to clean the whole house the day before they went home, he didn’t want to see a piece of dust anywhere. Then he asked him again to check if their house was really clean enough hours before their discharge. He wouldn’t let Yujin out of his sight. Yujin has to be near him. When someone carries him, they have to be close to Ricky, even Gyuvin.

Gyuvin let out a sigh so deep, “Soon he wouldn’t want to sleep between us anymore. He wouldn’t hold you like that anymore. Because,” Gyuvin exhaled. “He’ll soon say that he’s a big boy.”

“Don’t say that.”

“He won’t let you carry him all the time either.”

“Kim Gyuvin.”

With only the dim light from the lamp, Ricky could see Gyuvin’s glossy eyes. 

“And soon he’ll think we’re embarrassing.” 

“Shut up now.”

Gyuvin laughed softly. And then, because he is Kim Gyuvin, he had to ruin the emotional moment immediately. “But when that happens,” he whispered. “We can just make another.” He proudly said, like it was the key to world peace. “Right? Brilliant idea.”

Ricky stared at him blankly for one long second. Then he grabbed the nearest pillow and smashed it directly into Gyuvin’s face. “You—I hate you so much!”

The loud groan from Gyuvin made Yujin stir awake for exactly three seconds before rolling over and shoving his tiny foot into Gyuvin’s stomach. Ricky immediately slapped Gyuvin’s mouth to shut him up, resulting in him being a pouting giant.

Ricky burst into laughter. Gyuvin wheezed dramatically.

Now, what else is better than this? With their son asleep between them and their laughter filling the room. 

There had never been a life better than this one. Especially not one that they had lived through.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

It started with a plushie.

Not even Ricky or Gyuvin.

Yujin’s bunny plushie.

“Love bunbun.”

Gyuvin blinked. His brows furrowed as he was looking at Yujin who was looking at him back adorably. Hugging his bunny plushie with both arms. 

“What did you say, Yujinie?” 

“Yuyu,” Yujin stopped, blinking back at his father like he was trying to sense if Gyuvin was mad or not. “Love bunbun.”

“You said love.”

Yujin nodded his little head.

Gyuvin almost cried. He took his phone that he just abandoned somewhere on the couch because he was too shocked to hear Yujin’s new learned word. He has to call Ricky right now.

The phone rang twice before Ricky showed up on the screen. He was getting his hair done, the sound of a hair blower corrupting the speaker. It was so loud that Gyuvin barely catched on when Ricky spoke. “Hi, love. Why did you call? I only have a few minutes left.”

When Yujin heard his Baba’s voice through the speaker, he immediately moved and sat on his father’s lap just to see Ricky on the screen. Gyuvin angled the camera on him and Ricky lightened up as soon as he saw their son.

“Yujin just said a new word!”

“What?” Ricky smiled, “Really? What is it, Wǒ de xiǎo xīngxīng?”

“He said love! I was shocked because he said it out of nowhere while he was playing with his plushies.” Gyuvin caressed their son’s hair and kissed him there, “Where did you learn that, huh?”

“Say it again, Bǎobǎo, Baba wants to hear it.”

Yujin happily kicked his feet. “Love bunbun!” 

Gyuvin gasped dramatically, hand flying to his chest. “Kim Yujin.” He called his name, Yujin just innocently looked at him. “You’re a genius!”

Ricky chuckled, he said something to his stylist but Gyuvin couldn’t hear it. By the looks of him, he was definitely bragging about it. Then he looked at the screen again, “Bǎobǎo,” he said carefully, trying not to look too eager. “Who else does Yuyu love?”

Yujin thought for exactly one second. 

“Powowo!”

Wow. 

Of course.

Unbeknownst to the innocent being that is Kim Yujin, his parents just mentally fell to their knees.

Days after that, it became his parent’s misery.

Because Yujin learned to say “I love you” to absolutely everything except his parents. Like he had intended it. After all, he is Kim Gyuvin’s son, the ever so good at ragebaiting anyone. Ricky blamed him for that, saying that he could’ve passed down different traits to their son, it has to be that. Gyuvin denied the accusations.

The next day after that, when they were having breakfast, and Yujin’s holding his bottle with both hands. He declared, “Love milk!” Like it was the greatest thing humanity had ever created. 

The couple almost sobbed.

The next time it was when Gyuvin and Yujin were waving their hands while watching Ricky’s car disappear from their sight. Yujin decided to say “Love cars!” 

Gyuvin wanted to cry.

Although they’re just being dramatic, they’re actually so happy that he’s actively picking up words and using them. But at the same time, it made his parents be more careful when talking to each other especially when they know that their child could hear it. Their sweet little child. 

One night, Gyuvin made a deal with Ricky out of his pettiness. 

It became a competition after that. 

It was serious for both of them.

Ricky went for bribery. 

He knows his son’s love for food. He’d eventually give in.

Their friends gathered at their house again. They are complete this time. Gyuvin told them about their misery and their friends dared to laugh at them like it was the funniest thing they’ve ever heard in a while. Gyuvin wanted to throw them a punch.

They just wouldn’t understand it!

“If you say ‘Love Baba,’ I’ll buy you ice cream.” He said, looking too eagerly at his son.

Yujin blinked at him, then smiled sweetly. “Love ice cream!”

The whole table laughed. They all finished eating and they were just sitting at the dining area for a bit to chitchat and maybe tease Ricky and Gyuvin about their toddler problem. 

“Yujinie,” Taerae asked while holding out a cookie—Ricky doesn’t know where’d he get that. But he is sure it’s Gyuvin who bought that. “Who do you love? Baba or Appa?”

Yujin accepted the cookie. “Love cookie!”

Matthew laughed so hard he choked. Hanbin poured him a water like the angel he is.

“He’s definitely teasing us!” Gyuvin whined, he showed a pout to Yujin in case it would work—it didn’t. But at least he tried. “You’re a silly little boy, you know that?” Gyuvin cupped his son’s face, Yujin giggled, he was still holding the cookie.

“It’s over for you two,” Gunwook wheezed while Ricky let out a sigh. “Your own son likes food more than his own parents.” 

“That’s actually humiliating,” Matthew added to the wound. “Maybe he’d say ‘Love Chu’ first?” He grinned. Yujin finds his name difficult to say so he‘d just say Chu, they said it was just like how Ricky calls him Mashu.

“It’s probably because you’re trying too hard,” Hao said calmly while feeding Haneul watermelons. Their son’s flushed cheeks were sticky with all the juices from the fruit. “He’d say that eventually.”

Ricky narrowed his eyes. “Easy for you to say, Hao ge. Haneul literally loves Hanbin hyung.”

Hao gasped offendedly, his hand—holding a small piece of watermelon—stopped mid air. Haneul reached for Hao’s wrist and held it with his small hand to eat the fruit, Gunwook cooed loudly when he saw, “How dare you.” Hao glared at him, “He loves me more!”

“Sure,” Jiwoong laughed.

“Shut up, I brought him into this world.” Hao rolled his eyes.

Hanbin chuckled, nodding. What do you expect from a husband that’s too scared of his partner? “That’s right. Nobody’s gonna argue with that.” He said, taking out a handkerchief from his pocket and gently wiping their son’s face. 

Gyuvin also tried his luck when Ricky wasn’t around.

“Who do you love the most?” Gyuvin would ask casually while carrying Yujin around the house.

“Powowo.”

“Eng! Answer invalid, Yujinie.”

Meanwhile, Ricky started taking it personally.

“Maybe he just likes you more,” he told Gyuvin one night. He was already sitting on their bed, resting his back on the headboard. Clearly sulking.

Gyuvin looked up from the floor where he was helping Yujin build blocks. He saw Ricky pouting. He knows that pout too well, it’s an indication that he needs assurance. That’s the expression he has when he’s about to ask Gyuvin if he really loves him back when they were still boyfriends after their petty fights because Ricky was being a brat, and Gyuvin was sometimes too exhausted because of fuckass university stuff to even deal with it, that doesn’t happen often. 

It’s also one of those nights when Yujin has slept for five hours during his nap time so now he’s so much alive and hyped up at eleven-thirty in the evening. “What?” He asked.

“He follows you around all day.” Ricky played with his fingers resting on his lap.

Gyuvin raised his brow, “Yeah. That’s because he’s with me all day, baby, but he asks for you every five seconds when you’re at work.” He chuckled, “He’d even ask me to call you as soon as your car’s out of our sight.”

Ricky groaned and kicked off the duvet covering half of his body. “That’s not the same.”

“How?”

“I don’t know.”

Gyuvin snorted. “Baby, our son literally looks at you with so much love I almost got jealous that someone loves you more than I do.” He picked up the blocks that fell from where Yujin was stacking them, “He loves you. I don’t know who taught him how to tease us.”

“You’re the one who’s always with him, don’t act as if you don’t know.”

“Hey, don’t accuse me!”

Ricky just exhaled. 

Before he could say anything, Yujin waddled over carrying his bunny plushie upside down. He tapped Ricky’s thigh with his tiny palm, “Baba.” He called.

Ricky looked at him, his face softening. “Hm?”

Yujin titled his head and smiled, he put his plushie to sit on Ricky’s lap.

“Love bunbun.”

Gyuvin burst into laughter so violently he fell backward onto the carpet, his back hitting one of the blocks so he winced at the pain. Ricky grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it at him. 

“Ouch! Don’t be violent, our son’s looking!”

Ricky mouthed, “I hate you, Kim Gyuvin.”

Then Gyuvin responded with a laugh, “I love you too.”

And on the same night, the thing that Ricky had been anticipating for—has finally happened.

When Yujin had gotten cranky after using all his energy on playing with Gyuvin and Ricky, jumping on their bed—Ricky was so nervous the whole time, then tucking his plushies on the bed that Gyuvin and Ricky almost didn’t have a space anymore. Which just meant that both Ricky and Gyuvin had spent the last hour trying to survive a tiny emotional terrorist. It's now one in the morning so they had expected him to finally run out of battery.

Yujin is now half-asleep in Ricky’s arms after crying because Gyuvin accidentally sat on his elephant plushie’s nose when he got tired of running after their son inside their room. It really was the best decision that they bought the house with bigger rooms, and an even bigger master’s bedroom. Thanks to Gyuvin’s mom’s advice. She said it would be a good idea if the house is spacious, Ricky trusted her immediately especially because she knew better. She has raised two boys anyway.

“Elephant will be fine, Yuyu, Appa didn’t mean to,” he whispered in Mandarin, as if Yujin would understand it.

Gyuvin was cleaning up toys on the floor while Ricky lay on the bed while gently patting Yujin’s back. The room was quiet except for the soft hum of the air conditioner.

Ricky looked exhausted. He knew that.

His hair was messy from brushing it up with his fingers so much, his oversized shirt was wrinkled, his eyes sleepy and soft under the warm, dim lighting. 

He had long stopped caring so much about how he looks since Yujin arrived. He doesn’t even style his hair like he used to even if he’s just staying inside the house. He never really had the time to put on some light makeup when going out. Ricky started wearing tshirts, hoodies, sweatpants, and shorts. You’d never see him in that state before Yujin, not even when he’s with Gyuvin, when there’s just the two of them.

Gyuvin paused for a second just to look at him. 

Ricky looked away, suddenly feeling shy. 

Gyuvin chuckled before shaking his head and continued on cleaning. God, he loves this little family so much. 

After cleaning up, Gyuvin finally had the chance to lay down on the bed. 

Yujin stirred, his tiny fingers grabbed onto Ricky’s shirt weakly. His short leg was wrapped around Ricky’s. He looked like a Koala right now. Gyuvin used to sleep like this when there’s only the two of them, using Ricky as their bolster. 

Then his sleepy voice came out muffled against Ricky’s chest, “Love Baba.”

Ricky froze entirely. Gyuvin’s head snapped up instantly.

“What?” Ricky whispered. He looked at Gyuvin, eyes wide like a coin. “Did he say anything or was I just too sleepy?”

“I think he did, I heard it too,” Gyuvin tilted his head.

Yujin blinked sleepily, looking up at Ricky with his adorable brown orbs. His eyes were sparkling, looking at his father like he’s hung the moon—this is also how Gyuvin was looking at him right now. Then, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, Yujin mumbled again, “Love Baba.”

Ricky’s eyes widened. Gyuvin gasped so loudly Yujin jumped. 

“Oh shi—sorry, sorry.” Gyuvin immediately soothed their son by kissing him on his forehead, “Sorry, baby.”

“Oh my God,” Ricky whispered. He looked genuinely seconds away from crying. “Bǎobǎo,” he breathed softly, holding him closer. “Say it again? Baba didn’t hear it.” 

Yujin was already drifting back to sleep, nuzzling closer to Ricky, his little nose buried into Ricky’s shirt—finding comfort in his scent. “Love Baba,” he repeated automatically, muffled with a tiny yawn.

This time, Ricky actually teared up. 

“No,” Gyuvin said, pointing at Ricky accusingly. “No no no. Why you first? It should be me!” 

Ricky laughed despite still tearing up. “I won, Kim Gyuvin.”

“Absolutely not.”

“I did.” 

“Say Appa,” Gyuvin told Yujin desperately, tapping their kid’s cheek lightly using his index finger.. “Baby, say Love Appa, too! Come on. I will keep playing as your horse every day!”

“You are his horse,” Ricky snickered, teasing Gyuvin even more. “It’s not something that you get to decide on.”

“Shh, Kim Ricky, I’m not playing with you right now.” Gyuvin glared at him but it had no bite. “Baby, Yujinie, say you love Appa too!”

Yujin opened one eye but he didn’t move away from Ricky at all, Gyuvin could only let out an offended gasp. Then, Yujin whispered, “Appa.”

Gyuvin’s ears perked up like a dog, Ricky laughed at Gyuvin’s expectant face. “Say it, baby!”

“Yuyu sleep.”

And their son passed out completely.

Gyuvin’s heart metaphorically shattered, if he was standing, he would have fallen on his knee. Meanwhile, Ricky laughed so hard he couldn’t breathe. That’s just not fair! 

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

One day, Ricky realized that Yujin is, in fact, his father’s son.

It was just another day. Ricky finally had a rest day after so long, he didn’t get to take a day off last week because his schedule was really tight and he thought he’d rather finish everything instead of stressing about it until the next week. Yujin cried when he told him that he needed to leave for work on a Sunday, when he usually stays at home with them during that day. Gyuvin told him that Yujin didn’t stop crying even after he left, his heart almost hurt when Gyuvin was telling him about that.

So now, he is spending this day with his son well. 

He turned off his phone, not wanting any disturbance—specifically those emails that just couldn’t understand that he is on a day off, meaning there shouldn’t be any work given to him at all. He just focused on his son and his husband who seemed to also miss him just as much.

While Gyuvin took the chance to take a well-deserving shower when Ricky took over to play with Yujin, Ricky realized just how much energy it takes to raise a toddler. He doesn’t know if it was just because he is getting older now, but his energy was no match over Yujin’s. No wonder Gyuvin always complains about back pain, their son literally runs everywhere. He is so sure Yujin had been in every corner of their house at this point, and that still didn’t seem to tire him out. How could someone this tiny have unlimited energy?

One thing’s for sure, he is definitely Gyuvin’s son.

Before, Gyuvin’s mom often told him about Gyuvin’s childhood memories. Whether it’s touching—like how she felt when she gave birth to him, Gyuvin being a cute little kid, Gyuvin in his teething stage, Gyuvin falling down the stairs while running tirelessly—exactly just like Yujin, Gyuvin in his rebellious toddler stage—throwing his toys, tantrums that takes a lot of patience to deal with. And don’t even get started on Gyuvin’s teenage phase. It was a whole lot of headache—according to his mom.

He got this load of energy that doesn’t seem to run out ever from Kim Gyuvin.

But that’s not the only trait that Yujin got from his father.

Because aside from being inevitably energetic, he is also overly dramatic. 

It was when Yujin finally realized that Ricky was almost gasping for air from following him around. He sat down on the floor, reached for a drawing book that Ricky bought for him in case he gets his creativity and say that he wants to be an artist like his Baba when he grows up. Gyuvin told him it was manipulation, Ricky argued he’s just giving him options. Then Ricky, in relief, sat down beside him and moved the tub of crayons—that he also bought—close to his son so he could reach it.

“What do you want to draw?” Ricky asked, he grabbed the color Red and started drawing a strawberry on the paper. Yujin watched him with curious eyes, “You know what’s this, Bǎobǎo?”

Yujin pointed his little finger at the drawing, he looked at Ricky with a tilted head. “Baba,” Ricky hummed. “Mweoyo?”

Ricky chuckled, “It’s a strawberry!” He answered, then he took a color blue crayon from the tub and he taught Yujin how to hold it in his hand, “Here, you draw.” Ricky smiled, Yujin just stared at the crayon for a long time. “Why? You don’t want to draw?”

Yujin blinked. 

He moved the crayon to his nose like he was smelling it. Ricky just laughed before he moved it away.

“Baba,” Yujin looked at him. “Yuyu eat?” He asked. 

It was too late when Ricky realized that his one chunky hand was gripping the blue crayon suspiciously close to his mouth. 

Ricky’s jaw dropped. 

Yujin blinked innocently. 

“No!” He said, panicking. He took the crayon from his son and threw it back on the tub before he pushed it away. He went to check his son’s mouth in case he had bitten it. Thankfully, he did not. “You don’t eat crayons, Kim Yujin!” 

Yujin’s eyes suddenly became glossy. 

Ricky knows it wasn’t actual tears.

“Do you hear me? No eating crayons, understood?” Ricky repeated, he forced his voice to sound firm.

Yujin’s lower lip trembled. And all of a sudden—

“WAAAH!” 

Ricky almost jumped.

The door of the playroom burst open, Gyuvin barged inside in a hurry. He was just wearing worn out sweatpants with nothing on top. He must have been so shocked that he didn’t even get to finish drying his hair, the wet towel was just hanging on his neck. 

Gyuvin looked at their son, then at Ricky. 

Ricky just rolled his eyes.

Because the crying was ridiculous.

Absolutely theatrical.

Their son might not be a painter, but he could be an actor. That’s for sure.

Proving Ricky’s point, Yujin threw himself backward onto the carpet dramatically, one tiny hand over his face like he had just heard about a devastating news. “Baba bad!” He sobbed even more loudly.

Ricky stared at their son in disbelief.

“Yujin, you were trying to eat the crayons.”

“No!”

Ricky raised his brow, “Kim Yujin.”

Gyuvin walked towards their son, “What happened?”

Yujin immediately looked at him with pitiful eyes that he knew would work, Ricky scoffed. “He was trying to put the crayon in his mouth, he even asked if he could eat it.”

“At least he asked—” Ricky glared at him—a really serious glare that means he’s gonna get in trouble later—Gyuvin cleared his throat before looking away. He scooped up their son who’s still “crying” on the floor and sat him up on his lap, “Why would you eat the crayon, baby?”

Yujin cried even more, hiding his face on Gyuvin's chest. Ricky took the wet towel from his neck because the water might get on Yujin’s face. 

“We don’t eat crayons, okay?” Gyuvin pats their son gently. Then he mouthed to Ricky, “Why is he so dramatic?”

Ricky scoffed, “You’re asking me? That’s literally you!” He pointed at the tiny screaming toddler on Gyuvin’s lap like someone had just abused him.

“What?” 

“He got that from you. Obviously.”

“Wow,” Gyuvin clicked his tongue. “I see the pattern here. He gets the good sides from you, while he gets the bad habits from me?”

“Exactly,” Ricky nodded. “Look at that son of yours fake crying. You do that every time I’m not paying attention to you.”

“Excuse me?”

Again, proving Ricky’s point, Yujin paused his wailing to peek at Ricky through one eye as if to see if his father was looking. The second Ricky looked at him again, he went back to yelping. Great. They have a child actor right here. He should win the Oscars.

Gyuvin choked on air. Clearly stifling his laughter.

Ricky looked back at Gyuvin, then at Yujin.

He lifted his brow. 

The resemblance suddenly hit him like a truck. 

The over dramatics. The exaggerated misery. The badly acted wailing. The emotional manipulation. The laying on the carpet with a hand over his face. The strategic eye-checking to see if anyone was watching. 

That was absolutely not Ricky. 

That is Kim Gyuvin.

“This is you, Kim Ricky.”

“Not me,” Ricky denied instantly.

Gyuvin laughed, almost throwing his head back. “Ricky, you literally fake limp when you bump your knee on the bed frame.”

“That’s because it hurts,” Ricky rolled his eyes. “Just accept it.”

“You once told me you were gonna die because your noodles got soggy.”

“I was carrying your child, Kim Gyuvin.”

“Yeah, that’s what I said,” Gyuvin retreated defeatedly.

Noticing that his parents were having a different conversation and were not paying attention to him anymore, Yujin sniffled loudly to regain their attention.

Both of them looked at him at the same time.

Their son had now properly sat straight on Gyuvin’s lap, his face visible to Ricky now, cheeks red, fake tears mysteriously gone like magic the second nobody focused on him anymore.

“Baba no love!”

Gyuvin wheezed.

Ricky pointed accusingly at him. “See? He even talks like you when you’re fake sulking!”

“I don’t talk like that.”

“Gyuvin, you talked exactly like that when I told you I have to go back to China for two days.” 

“I refuse to accept that. I’m an educated adult who knows how to use my words.”

“You literally said ‘Rwicky, you no love me.’ that time!” Ricky was so committed to proving his point that he even copied exactly how Gyuvin talked that night. Gyuvin bursted out laughing. Ricky realized he made a fool out of himself.

While his parents argued over who Yujin inherited the dramatics from, Yujin was quietly reaching for the tub of crayons again. He got closer to it 

Ricky’s sharp eyes caught him immediately.

“Absolutely not, Kim Yujin.” His voice sounded so rough that he had to clear his throat, “Don’t even try.”

Yujin gasped like he’d been betrayed.

Then slowly, his face crumpled again, threatening to cry.

Gyuvin burst into laughter because of that before the crying even started.

“Okay no,” he wheezed. “Now that one was definitely yours.”

“What?”

“You don’t like not getting what you want.”

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

It was not about the laundry.

Ricky was sure about that. 

It was not about the untouched laundry that has been sitting for two days.

Not the toys scattered across the floor.

And not because of the fact that the fridge only had eggs, half a strawberry, leftover Pororo drink that Yujin didn’t get to finish yesterday, the opened jar of peanut butter that Gyuvin loves to spread on his toast, a cranberry juice that they had forgotten they ever bought for the reason that Yujin once liked it when Matthew let him try it once, and few vegetables and fruits left because neither of them had any time to go grocery shopping.

It was the exhaustion.

Pure, ugly exhaustion.

It was creeping in their limbs, seeping into the smallest spaces of their body. It’s inevitable, really.

And unfortunately, exhaustion had a way of making small things feel more unbearable. 

It doesn’t help that Yujin had been sick for almost four days. Not seriously sick, thankfully. Just a fever. Just sick enough to keep both of them awake every night because of the fever that came unpredictably, neither of them expected that especially because Yujin was feeling well just days ago. Their son had become clingier too, he’d be crying if either of them leaves his side. Ricky had to take a leave from all his work, he explained to them his reason. He didn’t even care if they approved of it, he doesn’t care. Not when his son, usually very energetic and cheerful, doesn’t even get up from their bed and doesn’t even get excited when Gyuvin serves him his favorite shine muscats.  

That meant both of them hadn't rested properly in days.

Gyuvin looked exhausted. Ricky looked worse.

Ricky had just started accepting more work schedules again after months of carefully easing himself back into work, and that week just happened to be one of the busiest he’d been in months, his luck might really be fucking with him. 

Right now, they’re both equally drained. They were sleeping three hours at best before waking up to Yujin crying at three in the morning, or waking up every four hours to give him paracetamol—that task alone was tiring them out. Getting a toddler to drink liquid medication is a tortuous labor, Ricky almost cried begging Yujin to drink it.

On the first day, Ricky didn’t even get to sleep at all. He was so worried that he watched Yujin all night. He kept watching the rise and fall of Yujin’s chest, checking his temperature every minute with the back of his palm. He was exactly like this when Yujin first fell sick when he was four months old—he was teething at that time, but Ricky didn’t know immediately. He was frantic. He called anyone he could. His mom, Zhang Hao, Gyuvin’s mom, his Nǎi nai, he even called Gunwook while crying because he didn’t know what to do, even though Gunwook also doesn't know what to do because first of all, he is the youngest in their family. And second of all, he doesn't have a child, nor he's ever had any. Gyuvin was there calming him down, also equally panicked. Ricky kept on crying to Gyuvin, he insisted to bring Yujin to the hospital. They just managed to breathe when Yujin's doctor told them that it was normal because he was teething.

But this time, Gyuvin was just as exhausted to even try to assure him.

They barely talked unless it’s about Yujin.

“Has Yujin taken his medicine?”

“Has he eaten?”

“Was his temperature still high?”

“Yujin did not eat his fruit.”

“Yujin doesn’t want chicken.”

It had been like that for the past four days.

And tonight had just simply gone wrong from the start.

Yujin refused dinner. Again.

Then he cried because he was hungry.

Then he cried again because Gyuvin went to pee and left the nest they made on their bed with his plushies to make him comfortable.

Then cried again because Ricky went downstairs without him.

Then cried so hard until he threw up milk all over Ricky’s shirt.

He cried once again when he didn’t want Gyuvin to wipe him up with a cold towel because when they asked if he wanted to take a bath in the tub, he also cried. Then he cried again when the room was so cold, and he cried too when it was too warm. 

It was a mess. 

By the time they finally got him to sleep at twelve, the entire house was quiet.

Too quiet.

It wasn’t the kind of quiet that is peaceful to ease their minds. It was the dangerous kind. The kind that is too quiet that it’s loud. Deafening.

Ricky emerged from the bathroom after taking the quickest bath he has ever had, rubbing his face tiredly. He was wearing Gyuvin’s white shirt that hung loosely on his shoulder, and shorts that he also took from Gyuvin.

Gyuvin was on the other side of the bed, lying sideways while patting Yujin gently. He has his head propped and resting on his fist, it looked uncomfortable to stay like that for too long. He has his eyes closed. He looked worn out. His hair was a mess, the dark circles below his eyes became a little evident.

Earlier, he took the initiative to wash the dishes while Ricky tended to their son. Yujin also cried because of that. He threw their dirty clothes in the washing. He had taken out the trash. He also went for a quick run at the grocery to at least refill their stocks. 

Because Ricky made a mistake to lash out earlier when Yujin took a nap in the afternoon.

He opened the fridge, saw that they’re almost running out of everything in just the span of fourdays. He shut if closed harder than necessary.

“We don’t even have anything,” he muttered. 

Gyuvin, who was washing Yujin’s bottles, glanced at him. Carefully, he said, “I was gonna order.” Soft enough because he sensed Ricky’s frustration.

“When?

Gyuvin paused slightly, then he sighed quietly before responding without turning around. “It slipped off my mind.”

Ricky laughed once. Humorless. “Ah,” he scoffed. “Of course.”

Gyuvin finally turned around this time. “What’s that supposed to mean, Ricky?” 

He leaned against the counter, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. “Nothing.” Ricky shrugged his shoulders, even though that also took an effort to do.

“No, say it,” Gyuvin sighed deeply. “If you have something to say, say it now. I don’t have any energy to deal with this right now.”

“I said it’s nothing.”

Gyuvin stared at him for a minute, shaking his head once before returning to the bottles. “You’re upset.”

“Wow.” The sarcasm landed sharply. “Really?”

Gyuvin’s shoulders stiffened. “Don’t be like that,” he responded, he was trying so hard to keep calm. He’s not mad, no, he could never be mad at Ricky. But he was also too tired, and he also, sometimes, ran out of patience. “I’m trying here too, Ricky.”

“I know.”

“Then why are you talking like I did something wrong?” His voice was too firm and serious. He hadn’t talked to Ricky like this, not even when they had their first ever serious quarrel two years ago. This one left a bitter taste in Gyuvin’s mouth. “Did I?”

Ricky exhaled shakily, already furious at himself because he knew it wasn’t really about Gyuvin. But he was so exhausted that his mind started getting foggy to even think straight. Exhaustion turned into frustration. It never ends well.

“Because everything feels exhausting lately.”

Gyuvin frowned. “You think I don’t know that?” He clenched his jaw. “I know that too and it’s goddamn tiring, Ricky.”

“I didn’t say you didn’t know.”

“You were implying it.”

“That’s—” Ricky rubbed his eyes harshly. “Forget it.”

“You know what? That’s your problem.” Gyuvin’s voice finally sharpened too. “You always say ‘forget it’ like it was just something to shrug off instead of actually saying what you mean. I can’t read your mind.”

Ricky stared at him in disbelief. “My problem?”

“Yes, Ricky,” Gyuvin sighed. “You can’t expect me to understand you when you’re like this. You’re being complicated. You’re always like this. It’s draining.”

“Oh, okay.” Ricky laughed again, louder this time. “Sorry, I’m apparently difficult to understand. That’s because I am so tired for working myself all day then this happened, and—”

Gyuvin interrupted immediately. “And what?” He looked at Ricky, the hurt flashed instantly in his eyes but it was gone almost immediately. Gyuvin’s face was now blank. He has always been so easy to read. But right now, it was not. “And what, Ricky?”

The silence afterward felt horrible.

Because Ricky hadn’t even fully meant to say it all of it. He didn’t mean to. But that wasn’t an excuse at all.

And somehow, they both knew that it wasn't about Yujin being sick anymore, nor was it about their fridge being almost empty because they just couldn't manage to do groceries when they're too worried to leave their son. No. They knew it wasn't anything about that. It turned into something else. Something that they never dared to unpack.

Gyuvin looked at him quietly. “Do you think..” He looked down, “You think staying home with Yujin all day is easy?”

Ricky’s expression immediately shifted. “That’s not what I meant.”

“But that’s basically what you said.”

How did it even turn into this?

“I’m tired too, Ricky.”

His voice wasn’t loud. No. It was almost a whisper. And that made it somehow worse.

“I know.” Ricky looked down.

“No,” Gyuvin chuckled in a way that is too unfamiliar to Ricky, it scared him. “I don’t think you do lately.”

Ricky opened his mouth, but decided to close it again

Part of him knew Gyuvin was right. And part of Gyuvin knew Ricky was drowning too. Equally. Just the same.

But neither of them were calm enough to even say it.

Gyuvin continued quietly, “I clean the house, feed Yujin, squeeze in my work if I had time, and make sure you eat because you sometimes forget when you’re stressed—”

“I appreciate that.”

“Do you?”

That hurt.

Ricky’s eyes widened slightly. Gyuvin saw it.

Gyuvin wanted to take it back. Ricky’s eyes were already tearing up before he looked away.

But exhaustion was cruel like that. Once the words left, you couldn’t take them back. Even if you wanted to, because when exhaustion turns into anger—it will never end well.

The deafening silence engulfed them. It almost burns.

And then a small cry echoed faintly from upstairs.

Making both of them freeze instantly.

Ricky moved first, but Gyuvin was already turning off the sink. 

He wiped his hands with a paper towel to dry it off. “I’ll go,” Gyuvin muttered.

“No, I—” 

“I said I’ll go.”

And that hurt too. Because Gyuvin never used that tone with him. He felt like crying everything out at that time. But he shouldn’t. But everything just feels so heavy, yet he shouldn’t.

Ricky stood alone in the kitchen after Gyuvin disappeared upstairs, looking down. He realized how humiliating it felt like when the anger suddenly drained away, leaving only exhaustion and guilt behind. He thinks back to the words that he threw at Gyuvin, then shame swallowed him.

He shouldn’t have said that. Gyuvin was trying. God, he knew that better than anyone. He saw the way he still cooked for Ricky. The way he still checked whether he’d eaten. Still waited for him to come home. And Ricky had thrown that in his face because he was stressed. 

Upstairs, Yujin’s crying slowly quieted. 

And Ricky slowly, painfully, being eaten by his guilt.

Then the night came. 

They never got the chance to talk about it. Not when Yujin was crying every second. 

They know they should. Gyuvin was itching to reach for Ricky’s hand and apologize for the tone that he had used. Ricky wanted to kiss him and say sorry for the words he didn’t mean. They both wanted to pull each other closer and talk about it.

Gyuvin was still laying down beside Yujin when Ricky sat down on the bed. The toddler’s cheek was squished against Gyuvin’s chest, tiny hand tangled in Gyuvin’s shirt. He looked peaceful like this. 

Gyuvin avoided Ricky’s eyes, and Ricky noticed it. That somehow felt worse than yelling.

“Gyuvin,” Ricky called quietly.

He received no response.

“Love.”

Gyuvin’s jaw tightened slightly.

“I’m sorry.” 

With that, Gyuvin finally looked at him then, and Ricky’s chest hurt immediately because Gyuvin looked exhausted. Not angry. There was no hint of anger in his eyes. But he looked tired. 

So, so tired. 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Ricky whispered.

Gyuvin looked back down at the sleeping Yujin next to him instead of answering. Somehow, he couldn’t think of anything to say. But he knew he wanted to hear everything that Ricky would say.

Their little boy was warm and heavy in his arms. Theirs. Gyuvin and Ricky’s. Ricky and Gyuvin’s. It just sounded right. It felt right. That, after all, they’re holding something that they could call theirs. Something that is both of them. Something that is Gyuvin and Ricky.

After a long silence, Gyuvin finally spoke.

“I know,” he said. “But it still hurts.” 

“I know.”

Gyuvin sighed, “I’m sorry too.”

Ricky’s lips twitched. His heart was thumping really hard that it hurt. “You don’t have to apologize.”

“Yes I do.” Gyuvin finally looked at him properly. “I know you’re really tired too, baby.”

Ricky’s throat tightened painfully.

God. They were so bad at this sometimes. Not loving each other. It was never that. It’s just.. surviving everything around that love. It was never easy. Even after years of being together, they never really figured it out. They know how to love each other properly in the way they both wanted. Ricky knows Gyuvin eats dessert, meat, and vegetables all at once. Gyuvin knows Ricky doesn’t want his hands getting dirty so he bought him a cover for his fingers so it wouldn’t get stained when they’re eating chips. Ricky knows Gyuvin gets cold easily, Gyuvin knows Ricky gets warm quickly. They’ve been loving each other in the way that suits them, and it wasn’t intentional nor performative. It just happened. 

But love, as a concept, has always been too complicated. Has anyone ever really figured it out?

Their son stirred slightly but remained asleep, turning to Ricky this time. His tiny fist curled against Ricky’s chest.

Gyuvin looked at the two of them and suddenly seemed close to tears himself. “I hate fighting with you, Ricky.” He admitted quietly.

Ricky let out a weak laugh. “We’ve always been terrible at it.”

“Good.” 

Then, he reached for Gyuvin’s hand. Gyuvin intertwined their fingers immediately. Instinctively.

Like breathing. Like it’s exactly where it should be. And it is.

“I think we forgot we’re on the same team,” Ricky whispered.

Gyuvin squeezed his hand gently. “Yeah,” he murmured. “Just for a little bit.” He smiled, then pulled Ricky’s hand closer and kissed it, Ricky chuckled. “We’ll figure it out together.”

“Yeah. Together.”

“Sounds better.”

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

It was one of those long exhausting nights where work refused to end no matter how many emails he answered. His eyes burned from staring at spreadsheets for too long, shoulders sore as he quietly climbed the stairs so he wouldn’t wake either Ricky or Yujin. He usually works downstairs so they could sleep peacefully without the sound of keyboards bothering them. 

It was already one-thirty when he finished. He was sure that Ricky and Yujin were both already asleep.

The house was dark except for the warm hallway light upstairs. 

Gyuvin walked toward their bedroom, exhausted enough that he was already thinking about collapsing onto the mattress, but of course, carefully. 

But then he heard Ricky’s voice coming from their room. The door was left ajar so he was able to hear it.

He was talking so softly that Gyuvin thought Yujin was still awake, and he’s talking to him.

Gyuvin slowly walked towards the door, but when he stepped closer, he realized the room was dark. Quiet. 

If Yujin was still awake, the light would be open because he might bump anywhere. It won’t also be this quiet because their little boy seemed to get his loudness from Gyuvin, even Gyuvin himself agreed on that. And he should’ve also heard his footsteps from downstairs because Kim Yujin, apparently, cannot stay still in one place unless he is watching his favorite Pororo.

It was just Ricky’s voice—soft, sleepy, and gentle.

Gyuvin peeked through the gap. This also felt quite ridiculous. Because why was he actually peeking like some creep? Ricky might have felt someone watching him. It was not Gyuvin’s intention to scare him!

With the dim light coming from the hallway, passing through the gap of the door, Gyuvin saw it, and his heart physically ached at the sight.

Ricky was lying on his side beside Yujin, his fingers resting on Yujin’s tummy while their son slept peacefully. Ricky looked exhausted. But still beautiful. He looked tired. But still beautiful. Face bare. And eyes heavy.

He was talking to Yujin. 

He found the comfort in a sleeping Yujin beside him—the comfort of seeing him breathing steadily, secured, and serene. 

Gyuvin wondered if Ricky often does this when he’s downstairs working. 

Ricky got home earlier and was welcomed with Yujin running towards him when he hadn’t even completely entered their house. 

His tiny arms opened while he toddled towards Ricky, ready to hug him. He was screaming “Baba!” excitedly when he did so. 

Ricky instantly smiled. Of course he did. 

But Gyuvin didn’t fail to notice the tiredness in his eyes. He looked different today. 

“Baba had a tiring day today,” he heard Ricky murmuring quietly that snapped him back to the present. 

Gyuvin stayed frozen by the door. Yujin remained asleep, his small arm hugging his favorite rabbit plushie. Ricky brushed his hand softly over his son’s onesie.

“There was this one stylist who kept pinning my clothes wrong,” he continued softly. “And Baba almost got pricked. It was annoying, really. I kept insisting that I can do it by myself, but I couldn’t do anything.” He sighed deeply. It was the kind of sigh you only let out when you're alone. A small smile crept in his lips. “Yuyu would have cried if I got hurt, right?” 

“I missed you today, Wǒ de xiǎo xīngxīng,” he whispered. Yujin shifted slightly in his sleep, Ricky smiled almost immediately. He ran a hand through Yujin’s hair and leaned in to plant a kiss on his forehead. Gyuvin watched everything.

Then he spoke again. For a moment, Gyuvin thought his voice softened even more.

“You know..” he murmured, “Sometimes Baba still gets scared, baby.”

Gyuvin felt his chest tightened for some reason. He knows the reason. It’s because Ricky rarely talked about things like this directly. Maybe because they haven’t really talked about it in a while. They never really had the time. They communicate, sure, they always do. But not really about this one. And the only time they could was when Ricky goes home from work, but then Gyuvin takes that chance to finish his own. So they never really get to talk it out. 

And Ricky never really told Gyuvin about this. It wasn’t because he doesn’t trust Gyuvin. God, no. It wasn’t anything about trust. If he has to choose only one person to put all his trust in, it would be Gyuvin. Gyuvin knows that. It was more because of the reason that sometimes, he just prefers to carry things quietly. He was worried that if he dumped it on Gyuvin, it would be too much on him.

“I keep thinking maybe I’m not doing enough. That maybe you’re feeling my absence more than my presence.” Ricky laughed softly under his breath. “I leave for work and suddenly I feel guilty the whole day for leaving, especially when I remember your face whenever I leave in the morning. Then that’ll also happen on the next day like a cycle.” His fingers gently fixed Yujin’s hair. “But when I come home and you call out to me. When you run towards me..” Ricky’s smile turned small and helpless. “All of it disappears. You make me feel like I’m doing good enough, Kim Yujin. You make me feel like I’m doing a great job being a parent, and that’s all I need. That’s more than what I ask for.”

Gyuvin swallowed hard. And God.

He could never ask for more.

“You’re getting so big now,” Ricky whispered to their sleeping son. “Too big.” Yujin let out a tiny sleepy sigh.

Ricky immediately melted. 

It was ridiculous. If teenager Ricky could even see him right now, he would’ve been laughing at him. Because first of all, he swore to himself that he will never have children. He used to think that he wasn’t responsible enough to raise himself, let alone raise a child. It wasn’t in his plan. He was never the one who’s fond of kids, no, that’s Gyuvin and Hanbin. He was never good with them. He used to pick a fight with his five year old cousin. He was fifteen. A decade older teenager fighting with someone who barely knows how to spell mother. He thought he didn't have it in him to be a parent. He believed it was a laborious job, and he’s not obviously made for it. 

Now he’s a parent, and he still has doubts whether he could actually do this well.

Thank God he has Gyuvin. Really.

Speaking of Gyuvin, “Appa works hard too, you know?” He whispered. His eyes stayed on Yujin the whole time. Gyuvin blinked. “You must take care of him when you grow up, Yuyu,” he mumbled sleepily, drowsiness slowly taking over him. “He acts strong but he gets tired easily. Though you’d surely have a hard time, your Appa’s quite a lot. He’s a headache.”

Gyuvin almost laughed through the ache in his chest. 

Slowly, he understood. 

This isn’t just Ricky simply talking to Yujin. This was his way to unload his heart when things became too heavy. Talking to a sleeping Yujin in the comfort of their room, because he doesn’t need any advice. He needed to just let it out. And he chose to say everything to the person he loved most. Gyuvin wouldn't even argue about that. He doesn’t care whether their son could even hear it, he just needed to.

Inside the room, Ricky yawned quietly before continuing.

“You shouldn’t grow up too fast, okay?” His voice cracked slightly at the end. “Appa would cry. He told me once that he wished you’d never have to grow older, he wanted you to be his baby forever. You know that?”

Gyuvin felt his eyes sting embarrassingly fast.

A sound escaped from Ricky’s mouth, like a sob. Then Ricky leaned closer to their son and pressed a soft kiss against Yujin’s forehead. “Baba loves you so much.” He let out a soft chuckle, quiet enough to not wake their son up. “It’s scary sometimes.”

Gyuvin finally stood outside the door, he felt like he had just witnessed something he wasn’t supposed to see. Because it was so raw. It was so full of love. So, so full of it. It was painfully intimate and it was overwhelming.

Ricky finally noticed movement by the doorway. 

“Gyuvin?”

Gyuvin slowly opened the door more, looking guilty somehow despite being the one spying.

Ricky blinked sleepily at him. “Did you just finish your work?”

Gyuvin opened his mouth. Then closed it again. He cleared his throat, but that almost made him let out a sob.

Ricky noticed immediately.

He sighed quietly. “Why do you look like you’re about to cry?”

Gyuvin looked away, “I do not." 

“You literally do.”

Instead of responding, Gyuvin walked into the room slowly. And then without a word, he sat on the space beside Ricky, at the end of the bed where he would literally slip off because there’s not much space there, he lied atop of Ricky and buried his face against his shoulder.

Ricky laughed softly in surprise, wrapping his arm around Gyuvin’s body. “What happened to you, you big baby?”

Gyuvin tightened his arms around his waist silently. It was too careful as if Ricky would break if he moved too abrasively.

Ricky blinked.

Ah.

“You heard me talking?”

Gyuvin nodded against him.

Ricky groaned and covered his face with one hand. “That’s embarrassing, Gyuvin.”

“It was not,” Gyuvin mumbled. His voice sounded suspiciously thick. “It was..” He swallowed hard. “Really heartwarming, baby. I almost shouted ‘I love my life!’ right there if only I wouldn’t disturb you. Really, really.”

Ricky looked at him quietly after that. “You’re emotional again,” he teased softly.

Gyuvin lifted his head just enough to glare weakly at him. “Well. You were basically giving a heartfelt monologue in the dark.”

“He was sleeping, Gyuvin.”

“I know, it almost made me cry. It was so sincere.”

“It was.”

Gyuvin stared at him for a second. “You’re really doing a great job, you know that?” He said, softly.

Ricky sighed, “It’s just sometimes I don’t feel like I am.”

Gyuvin frowned instantly. “Kim Ricky.”

“I know, I know,” Ricky sighed quietly. “It’s stupid.”

“It is.”

Ricky looked offended.

Gyuvin cupped his face carefully. He kissed Ricky’s nose, “You love him so much that you worry about every little thing.” He smiled, “Good parents do that. They worry a lot. They worry whether their kid is doing well at school. They worry if their kid is eating well. They worry if their toddler is going to trip on a random day. They worry if their toddler is going to try to eat his crayons again.” Ricky started laughing quietly, shoulders shaking. Gyuvin laughed too. “That’s exactly why you’re a good parent.” 

Ricky stared at him for a long moment after that. His eyes softened. “You always really know what to say.”

“What can I do about it?” Gyuvin grinned slightly. “That’s because I’m obsessed with you, Kim Ricky.”

“There you are.” Ricky snorted quietly. He rolled his eyes, now pushing Gyuvin off of him. “Move away now, you’re heavy.”

Gyuvin laughed before he untangled himself from Ricky and sat up properly beside him. “Seriously though,” he whispered, glancing at sleeping Yujin. “He’s very lucky. He has a famous, beautiful Baba. No kid has that. Only Kim Yujin.”

Ricky chuckled, he followed his gaze, also looking at Yujin with all the love in his eyes. Their son was still asleep peacefully, completely unaware that both his parents were staring at him like he hung every star in the sky.

Then Ricky looked back at Gyuvin, and sighed. “So are we,” he whispered.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

They said that a growing child’s curiosity is inevitable. 

It happens when a child suddenly develops awareness and questions everything around them. And you’re supposed to explain to them how, when, and why it happens.

After all, curiosity for children is but an appetite for knowledge. Or whatever the hell John Locke quoted. 

Yujin turned two. 

Gyuvin cried because, apparently, Yujin’s basically almost an adult now. Ricky called him dramatic, but he cried too.

When Ricky was still carrying Yujin, he often researched a lot of things about parenting. He would watch tutorials on how to properly put on a diaper without hurting the newborn. He searched for the right amount of milk for a one year old. He did a lot of digging because he was anxious about this whole parenting stuff. He searched: taking a bath of three months old tutorial, lullaby songs good for babies, how to carry a newborn tutorial, when to know if the baby is hungry, how to burp a baby tutorial, what can i not eat when pregnant, strawberry cheesecake nearby—okay, maybe that one wasn’t for Yujin. 

It was overwhelming for a first time parent. Gyuvin reassured him that he doesn’t need to worry that much. Gyuvin was calm about it because he basically helped in raising his siblings. But Ricky doesn’t have any idea. He grew up as an only child. His cousins live in Shanghai, and they lived in America. So no, he doesn’t even know how to carry a newborn. He was new to all of this. 

One thing he loved reading about was the parents’ forum about their own stories about the collection of their toddler’s whys. It was basically about their kids asking a lot of why questions, and how they tended to grow more curious about things. Ricky thought it was cute when he was reading all their stories, the parents thought otherwise. They said they’d somehow felt annoyed because the questions just kept coming like a firearm. It doesn’t stop with one question and an answer. 

Ricky didn’t get them back then. Joke’s on him.

Now he does.

One time, they took Yujin to an aquarium. He was so excited that time that he was jumping around everywhere.

“Why?”

Gyuvin looked down at their son who’s almost shoving his face on the wall of the aquarium. His curious eyes were watching each movement of the fishes swimming around, his head tilted cutely whenever there’s a fish passing in front of him and gone in a second. 

“Why what, baby?” Ricky asked. He crouched down next to Yujin to hear his voice clearly. There were a lot of people around, so he couldn’t hear Yujin very clearly.

“Why..” Yujin sighed with all his might, literally. His shoulders moving along. “Why fish swim?”

“I— what?” Ricky blinked. He was startled that he switched to English. Gyuvin was chuckling at the side, Ricky raised a brow at him but he just looked away, pretending to be busy watching the sea creatures like it suddenly piqued his interest. “Fishes swim because their body, like this—” He poked Yujin’s tummy, the kid giggled. “—was made to survive in the water.”

“Why fish?”

“Uhm,” Ricky tilted his head in confusion. He didn’t understand the question. So he looked up at Gyuvin, who was still looking at anywhere but Ricky, to ask for help. But sike, his husband is literally enjoying his misery. Ricky kicked his leg without Yujin noticing, “Because..” I majored in Fine Arts, not Marine Biology! “Because.. Yeah. Oh! Would you look at that fish? Doesn’t he look like Nemo?”

Gyuvin wheezed at the back. Ricky shot him a glare. 

“What if that fish was a female?” Gyuvin asked, shaking his head like he was disappointed at Ricky for misgendering a fish. “That’s not fair, Kim Ricky. We don’t misgender anything just because they have fins.”

“Shut up,” Ricky responded quietly with gritted teeth because Yujin might hear him, although the kid was literally distracted at the aquarium again. “Is it amazing, Bǎobǎo?”

Yujin nodded excitedly. Pointing at the glass.

“Baba ball!” He exclaimed.

Gyuvin looked at what he’s pointing at. He almost laughed when he saw it. Ricky chuckled.

“That’s a pufferfish, Yujinie,” Gyuvin chuckled. “It looks like a ball, right?”

Yujin looked up at him, his palms were still flat on the glass. “Why ppoppo-fish?”

“Pufferfish,” Ricky corrected.

“Pof.. popor-fish!”

Gyuvin bursted out laughing. Ricky pinched his leg, he immediately winced and cleared his throat. That pinch literally hurt like a bitch. 

“Baba,” Yujin whined. “Hard..”

“Okay, I can teach you that some other time,” Ricky pinched his cheeks before he turned to look at Gyuvin who almost jumped when he did, as if Ricky was about to pinch him again. “Instead of laughing at your son, why not answer his question?” Ricky challenged.

“Nah—”

“Appa, why porpor-fish?”

Well. Damn Kim Gyuvin.

Gyuvin bit his lower lip, then he crouched down in front of their son. He chuckled awkwardly, “Well, it’s called pufferfish because..” He looked at Ricky, but he just shrugged. Gyuvin scoffed before he looked at Yujin again. “Because— oh my god! There’s a shark!”

“That’s a stingray.” Ricky snorted, “You like it here, Yuyu?” He smiled.

Yujin looked amazed. His round eyes were wide as a coin, his mouth agape. He was blinking slowly while looking up at the stingray that passed by above them. It looked like it was smiling at them, Yujin giggled while waving his small hand. Thankfully, it was not a big one. Yujin doesn’t like big creatures. He likes playing with his dinosaurs, though. When Gyuvin told him that dinosaurs used to be bigger than elephants, Yujin listened earnestly then cried later on when Gyuvin showed him a picture of a real-life dinosaur, but it was just a picture of Godzilla. And then he asked him if he won’t play with his dinosaurs anymore because he’s scared of them, but Yujin said ‘Yuyu no scared. They’re small!’ then hugged the small dinosaur figures like he’s guarding them.

“Oh! Appa— AAAA! BIG!” He shrieked.

Both of his parents were startled. They almost jumped when he suddenly screamed like that, it was the loudest he’s ever been, and that said something because Yujin’s mouth is like a jukebox. He never stops talking.

He buried his face to Gyuvin’s chest, Gyuvin immediately hugged him and looked around, his gaze landed at one pair of worried eyes. Ricky has his hand on Yujin’s back.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Ricky asked.

“BIG!” Yujin cried.

“Big? What big?” Gyuvin’s eyes wandered. 

A shark. 

There’s a big shark swimming in the tank.

Yujin’s sob echoed. People were looking at them.

But there’s still a big shark in the tank. It stopped right in front of them. Gyuvin bit his lower lip and closed his eyes while caressing his son’s head. 

Gyuvin is also scared of sharks.

“Ya,” Ricky poked Gyuvin’s cheek, but he didn’t open his eyes. “Your hands are shaking. Are you scared?” 

“Baba..” Yujin sobbed. He pulled away from Gyuvin, but his eyes were shut tightly as he waddled towards his Baba. Ricky immediately pulled him into a hug, “Yujinie scared.” He cried. Ricky patted his back softly. “Baba, why—”

“Aigoo,” Ricky muttered. “Bú yào pà, wǒ de bǎobèi. Baba is here.”

“Oh my god, Ricky, the shark is staring at me!” Gyuvin exclaimed before holding onto Ricky’s arms. “It’s gonna attack me!”

“Calm down,” Ricky chuckled. “Why are you more scared than our son?”

The second time was when they were getting ready for bed.

Yujin was sitting on Gyuvin’s stomach like he’s riding a horse. He curiously poked Gyuvin’s abdomen, Gyuvin groaned and almost threw their son on the bed when he moved, but Ricky immediately held onto their son to balance him. 

“Gyuvin, you almost threw our son.”

“Baby, it tickled me!”

Yujin giggled. 

“Appa, why tickle?”

“Huh?”

“Tickle!” 

Gyuvin blinked at him. “...Because it tickles?”

Yujin gasped softly like this was groundbreaking information. Like he just heard something controversial. “Why?”

Ricky immediately snorted from beside them because there it was again. At this point, they felt like they were already traumatized with the word why. Every time they felt like that word was about to come out from Yujin’s mouth, they’d immediately divert his attention. But sometimes—no, most of the time, when Yujin really wouldn’t let go of his whys, they were forced to answer.

Gyuvin looked at Ricky, “Kim Ricky, help me.”

“No,” Ricky grinned while fixing Yujin’s pajama sleeve. “This is your battle, Kim Gyuvin. I’m out of this,” Ricky sighed in relief mockingly and pulled their blanket up to his chest with a grin on his face. “I must sleep. I need to wake up and look pretty in front of the camera tomorrow, you know?”

“Kim Ricky!”

“Nope.”

“Shen Quanrui.”

“Bù.”

“This is unfair—”

Yujin bounced lightly on Gyuvin’s stomach, making him wheeze.

“Baby, be careful—”

“Why careful?”

Gyuvin closed his eyes. Ricky burst into laughter.

Ricky loves seeing Gyuvin in misery. 

“Oh my God.” Ricky laughed.

And then, because he thought he was safe — Yujin turned to Ricky immediately.

“Why God?” He tilted his head.

Ricky stopped laughing, he blinked at Yujin. With that, Gyuvin sat up so fast Yujin bounced against his chest with a giggle. He held Yujin by his hand so he wouldn't fall down.

Gyuvin’s laugh filled their room. It was so loud that Ricky instantly felt offended. He even pointed at Ricky victoriously. “You thought!” He smirked, “You thought you’re free from this, Kim Ricky.”

Ricky narrowed his eyes. He pouted. “You’re so annoying, Gyuvin.”

“Answer him, Baba.” Gyuvin smiled so big, it was insulting.

Ricky wanted to pinch him. He could pinch him. But their son was still sitting on his stomach, and if he pinch him right now, Gyuvin would move and their son would fall flat-faced on the bed. So no, he’ll hold back for now.

Yujin blinked at Ricky patiently from Gyuvin’s lap. His face looked innocent. Round face, flushed cheeks, small button-nose, lips pursed in a pout, and eyes blinking slowly like someone who’s not the cause of his parents’ little battlefield. A battlefield of whys. Absolutely destructive. Dangerous. 

Ricky sighed dramatically before poking Yujin’s tummy. Yujin giggled, his parents’ favorite sound in the whole world. “Because humans are just created that way. It tickles because it’s just how we are.”

Yujin looked down at his own stomach. He poked it. Just when his parents thought he was getting distracted, he looked up again. “Why tummy?”

Gyuvin immediately collapsed backward onto the mattress laughing. Ricky grabbed a pillow and smacked it directly into his face.

“Shi— I can’t breathe,” Gyuvin wheezed into the pillow.

Meanwhile Yujin had moved on entirely. He was still sitting proudly on Gyuvin’s stomach like a king on his throne. Then his tiny hands suddenly poked Ricky’s stomach this time.

“Baba tummy.” He poked Gyuvin’s, “Appa tummy.”

Gyuvin smiled. He touched Ricky’s stomach and his hand stayed there, “This is where my little Yujinie came from.” He looked at Yujin who just blinked at him. “It’s cool, right? Baba is really cool!”

“Baba’s tummy?” Yujin laughed.

“Yeah!” Gyuvin beamed. “Yujinie gave him a hard time.”

Ricky was just listening to them. Gyuvin smiled wider, he was talking so fondly like he was reminiscing.. His hand was still spread over Ricky’s stomach absentmindedly, thumb rubbing softly over the fabric of Ricky’s shirt. He was caressing it like he used to. Ricky smiled at the familiar gentleness of it.

“You used to kick so much,” he told Yujin dramatically, he held Yujin’s tiny legs and raised it like he’s kicking the air, Yujin just kept giggling. “Your Baba would glare at you through his stomach.”

“That’s not true!”

“Oh it is,” Gyuvin laughed. Then he continued, “One time you kicked so hard your Baba almost cried because he almost wiwi in his pants!”

Ricky looked offended. “I was seven months pregnant! Also, please do not tell our son about that.”

“I already did,” Gyuvin stuck out his tongue. Ricky wanted to pull it.

But clueless at their bantering, Yujin gasped softly at the unfamiliar word that Gyuvin used..

“Pregnang?”

Gyuvin folded instantly. Ricky covered his face because he was also laughing. 

“Pregng,” Gyuvin repeated weakly, shoulders shaking. Yujin was almost bouncing on his stomach. “Yujinie, what is pregnang?”

“Appa said!”

“Oh?” Gyuvin exclaimed, like he was accused. “That’s not what I said!”

“Appa said..” Yujin paused, his lips pursing like he was thinking. “Baba pregnang.”

“Oh yeah. That’s true,” Gyuvin nodded seriously. “Baba was very pregnang.”

Ricky smacked his arm. “Stop that!” He glared at Gyuvin, “Instead of correcting him.. you’re teasing him!”

But Yujin was already curious again. His tiny fingers poked Ricky’s stomach again, but it was very careful like he’d hurt him. “Yuyu inside?”

Ricky’s expression softened, “Before, my love,” he explained gently. “You stayed inside Baba’s tummy when you were very, very small.” He smiled, he reached for their son’s cheek and pinched it lightly. “Yuyu  was so small and very cute.”

Yujin’s eyes widened like he just heard the most shocking news that would shake the world if people found out. But then he looked horrified. “ Baba.. dark?”

Ricky bit the inside of his cheek to stop smiling too hard. “Maybe? Probably a little, baby.”

“No Powowo?”

“No Pororo.”

“No bunbun?”

Ricky nodded, “No bunbun.” 

“Why?”

Gyuvin almost laughed. Ricky covered his mouth.

“Because they do not fit here, Bǎobǎo.”

Yujin blinked before looking down at his tiny hand like he was suddenly sad. Gyuvin and Ricky got worried. Yujin was really pouting. His lips looked like a duck’s beak. Then— “No Appa?”

Gyuvin dramatically clutched his chest, he sobbed jokingly and wiped his nonexistent tears. “That’s heartbreaking, baby.”

“No Appa..” he whispered sadly.

“Aigoo, my baby,” he cooed. Gyuvin immediately scooped him up from his stomach into his arms. “It’s okay, Yujinie. Appa’s here now, right?” He kissed Yujin’s cheek loudly, then he brushed up his hair.  “You used to hear my voice all the time, anyway! Appa talked to you every day so you won’t be alone and scared in the dark!” 

Yujin blinked at him.

“I used to say, ‘Hi Yujinie, please stop kicking your Baba before he throws up again.’ but you were a little stubborn.” He laughed.

 “Kim Gyuvin.” Ricky groaned loudly.

“What?” Gyuvin laughed. Then he sighed, “You were really mean when you had morning sickness, Ricky.”

“I was creating organs.” He rolled his eyes. “Be thankful that’s all you had to deal with!”

“You were threatening me while creating them. I was really scared.”

“Because your face was annoying!” Ricky glared at him. 

Yujin giggled at the sudden bickering, looking between them like he was watching his favorite cartoon. To him, his parents' bickering is the most entertaining ever, more entertaining than Pororo. He always looked like he’s enjoying it. 

He suddenly reached both arms toward Ricky. “Baba.”

Ricky immediately opened his arms and took him from Gyuvin carefully. Yujin rested his head on Ricky’s chest, and then his little hand reached to pat Ricky’s stomach. Ricky almost melted. Their son was patting it ever so gently like how his parents pat his back to sleep.

“Thank you tummy,” he said very seriously. He nuzzled his head on Ricky’s chin like a cat, “Thank you Baba tummy.”

Ricky’s entire face softened so fast it physically hurt to witness.

Gyuvin made the most wounded noise imaginable. He whispered, clutching his chest dramatically. “That’s so adorable. I’m gonna die.” 

Ricky laughed softly, eyes suspiciously shiny now as he hugged Yujin even closer. His son. His sweetest son. “Who taught you to be this cute?” he murmured against Yujin’s hair, then he planted a kiss on his head.

“Me,” Gyuvin answered. “Who else?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“You literally tried to eat a battery as a child, Gyuvin.”

“And that has nothing to do with my cuteness, Ricky.” Gyuvin deadpanned. “That probably just made me even more charming.”

“Whatever.”

“Baba,” Yujin called, voice muffled from being buried in Ricky’s chest. “Baba’s tummy.. another Yuyu?”

Gyuvin and Ricky almost choked with their own spits.

“Yujin, no,” Ricky answered.

“Why?”

“Ah,” Ricky groaned. “I’m literally about to lose my mind, Kim Gyuvin. Talk to your son!”

But Gyuvin was still frozen from Yujin’s question. His jaw metaphorically dropped to the floor.

“You want another Yuyu?”

“Kim Gyuvin, please.”

Yujin turned his head towards Gyuvin, “Baba pregnang.”

Gyuvin looked up at the ceiling, crossed his arms like he was thinking deeply. Then nodded. “I think we could work on that, Yujinie.”

“No, we can’t.” Ricky responded almost immediately.

In conclusion, a child’s curiosity will test your patience. It is unstoppable. It won’t stop with just one answer, because then it will be followed by another why. But after all, your husband’s childishness will end it all.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Grocery shopping is one of Yujin’s favorite activities.

The first time they bought Yujin at the grocery store was when he just turned one year old. He was giggling the whole time, reaching for anything within his reach while Ricky was carrying him in his arms. He once grabbed a whole apple that is twice bigger than his hand. That was the time that Ricky believed the people who said a toddler’s grip is really dangerous. He also grabbed a box of cereal, a toothbrush, a pack of napkins that Gyuvin immediately placed back in its place, and a bunch of chips that whenever Gyuvin takes the one he’s holding, he’d immediately grab another. It was, in all honesty, stressful. 

That’s when Yujin started enjoying grocery shopping. Since then, they always bring him with them. Yujin seemed to like seeing a lot of things, especially colorful things since he’d always stay the longest at the fruit section.

So Ricky should’ve known the trip would end in disaster the moment Yujin woke up from his nap in the car.

“Appa, fast!” Yujin giggled.

“Baby, we are pushing a cart.” Gyuvin laughed as Yujin dramatically pointed forward from where he sat inside the shopping cart seat. His little legs were swinging happily. “What do you even want me to do?”

“Fast!” Yujin wiggled excitedly.

Ricky snorted beside them while looking through the rows of vegetables, “Please don’t do anything dangerous, Gyuvin. Last time you pushed the cart too fast he almost flew out of it.”

Gyuvin scoffed, “That only happened one time.”

“You traumatized an old woman, Gyuvin.”

“She was just being dramatic.”

“She gasped like she witnessed a homicide.”

Yujin giggled loudly at their bantering, kicking his tiny shoes against the cart, creating a loud sound. “Appa, again!”

“No.” Ricky rejected.

“Yes.” Gyuvin answered at the exact same time.

Ricky turned slowly at his husband, glaring. He was holding a whole cabbage in his hand and said, “Kim Gyuvin.” It sounded like a threat. 

But Gyuvin just grinned at him shamelessly. Because unfortunately for Ricky, his husband and son together were basically one brain cell bouncing around unsupervised. With them together, it is chaotic. A mess. It’s like waiting for havoc to take place.

So five minutes later, after he had just literally threatened Gyuvin with a cabbage, Gyuvin was zooming the cart through the snack aisle while Yujin screamed in delight like he was on a rollercoaster. Ricky felt like aging five years older while watching them. 

“Vroom!”

“Kim Gyuvin!” Ricky whisper-yelled while trying not to laugh. He looked around and saw about four people looking at them. “People are looking!”

“They’re just jealous they can’t drift with a cart like I do,” Gyuvin said confidently.

“Appa, again, again!” Yujin cheered.

“No again, Kim Yujin.” Ricky said with finality like he does not take a no for an answer. Then he finally grabbed the cart handle to stop them. “Sit properly before Baba cries.” He said firmly.

Yujin pouted.

“Why cry?”

Ricky closed his eyes.

Gyuvin burst out laughing immediately. He patted Ricky on his shoulder like that helps. “Good luck, jagiya. Fighting!”

“Because Baba will get stressed.”

Yujin blinked. “Why?”

“Because your Appa is crazy.” Ricky sighed.

Gyuvin gasped dramatically. “What! That’s mean.” Then he laughed when he remembered the situation Ricky is in.

Ricky grabbed the eggplant and smacked Gyuvin’s arm with it. “You think this is funny, Kim Gyuvin?”

“It is funny because it’s happening to you, Kim Ricky.” Gyuvin moved closer to him, when Ricky looked away in annoyance. Gyuvin stole a kiss on his cheek, Ricky gasped in surprise. “You’re already sulking, just trying if that still works on you.”

“You’re really..” Ricky rolled his eyes.

“Seems like it still does.”

“Baba.” He pointed at the eggplant. “Why eggplant?”

Gyuvin laughed so hard that he had to hold onto the cart, he almost pushed it over the rack of canned goods. Ricky stared at his son in disbelief.

“What do you mean?” Ricky asked.

“Why eggplant,” Yujin repeated patiently, like Ricky was the one being difficult.

“Because the eggplant was easier to reach?”

“Why?”

“Because it was on the cart.”

“Why?”

“Because we’ll buy it.”

“Why?”

“TO EAT IT, KIM YUJIN.”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Gyuvin chuckled, pulling the cart away from Ricky. “Stop fighting, you two.”

Some customers snorted, when Ricky looked at them, they all pretended to be busy looking through the aisle.

While Yujin the Menace just blinked at Ricky innocently. When he did not speak again, Ricky almost collapsed in relief. Finally. He cannot handle any more whys question because he’d totally lose it. LIke really, really lost it. 

They continued walking to every aisle. Stopping every now and then whenever Gyuvin finds a product to decide on whether they should buy it or not for at least ten minutes before he notices that Ricky left him there with the cart—Ricky ran off with their son.

Ricky, who left with their son, was laughing on their way back to the vegetables section. He forgot to buy something from the list that he mentally noted before they got here. Yujin was looking at the vegetables like it was an expensive painting in a museum. He let Yujin walk and curiously look at the greens.

Then he stopped walking.

He grabbed a potato from the display with both hands and lifted it proudly like how Rafiki carried Simba. Yujin looked so happy too.

“Baba, rock!”

“That is not a rock, Yujin,” Ricky started laughing.

Gyuvin found them just in time, he was about to throw a tantrum but he was stopped when he witnessed Yujin hugging the potato to his chest like someone was about to take it away from him. Gyuvin tilted his head in confusion.

“Baby,” Gyuvin crouched down. “Why are you holding that?”

“Appa, it’s mine.” Yujin beamed.

“No—”

“Mine!”

Ricky covered his mouth to stop himself from laughing too loudly because Yujin genuinely looked emotional about the potato. No one has ever been emotionally attached to a potato—that he called a rock earlier. Their son is really something. But it’s no surprise. Ricky also has a pet rock when he was a child, he called it Hardy just because it sounded right to a four year old Quanrui.

“Gyuvin,” he wheezed. “Just let him be.”

So now their son was sitting in the cart clutching a potato like it was his emotional support animal. It seems like Bunbun isn’t the favorite now. But that’s impossible, Yujin loved that rabbit plushie more than Gyuvin sometimes.

“Why did you take that potato?” Gyuvin talked to Yujin as he was pushing the cart.

Ricky scoffed while looking through the diapers, “He thought it was a rock.”

“Potato.. was lonely.”

Both of his parents melted instantly. Ricky cooed, Gyuvin smiled fondly.

“Aigoo..” Gyuvin pinched his child’s cheeks. “My baby is so cute.”

Ricky looked devastated. “Bǎobǎo, potatoes don’t—”

“No Baba.. no Appa..” Yujin whispered again mournfully while patting the potato like he was comforting it in the way that his parents do when he’s crying. “Potato is sad, Baba.”

Gyuvin, ever so soft over his son’s pouting lips and blinking eyes, took another potato from the pile and placed it beside Yujin’s potato carefully.

“There,” he said solemnly. “Potato have Appa now.”

“Potato have family!” He giggled. Yujin looked down at the potatoes in his lap fondly. One tucked against his stomach, the other resting beside it carefully like he was making sure they were touching. But then he blinked slowly and tilted his head, “No Baba?”

Ricky slowly looked back at his son. “Jesus,” he whispered immediately because he already knew where this was heading.

Yujin looked genuinely concerned now.

He lifted one potato. “Yujinie.” Then the other one. “Appa.” He looked up at Ricky, “No Baba..”

Ricky sighed because of course they couldn’t leave the potato family incomplete now. Their son looked emotionally invested. So Ricky walked towards where the stacks of potatoes were and picked another potato. He gave it to Yujin, “This one’s Baba,” he said.

The brightest smile immediately spread across his face like the sun rising after a storm. Yujin looked like he just saw Pororo in real life. “Potato family complete!”

An old lady passing by glanced at the potatoes in Yujin’s lap, then at the two grown men enabling him. She smiled, “First child?”

“Yes,” Ricky answered immediately.

She nodded and chuckled, “I can tell.”

Then she went on her way.

Gyuvin looked offended. “What does that even mean?”

“It means we’re clearly losing our minds,” Ricky deadpanned.

But Yujin was petting the potatoes so lovingly that Ricky can’t even help but to smile. If this is how they’d lose their minds, then it isn’t that bad. “Appa,” he mumbled, patting one. “Baba.” Pat pat. “Yujinie!” Then he blinked. “Oh.”

“Not again, Kim Yujin.” Ricky sighed.

“Baby.” Yujin blinked innocently. “Appa.. baby potato.”

“No baby potato,” Ricky immediately said. “We are not raising a potato family, Kim Yujin.”

“Baby potato,” Yujin repeated stubbornly, kicking his feet.

Gyuvin betrayed Ricky instantly. “Just one baby—”

“Kim Gyuvin.” Ricky threatened, he said it like ‘You move and I’ll kick your ass.’ 

“Ricky...” Gyuvin pouted defeatedly. “Look at his face!”

“Absolutely not.” Ricky shook his head so hard he almost got dizzy. “We came here for groceries, not adoption.”

Yujin pouted. “Potato no baby?”

Great. So now there are two puppies pouting in front of him.

Yujin looked at Gyuvin, absolutely abusing his power. He blinked his eyes at him, and as if he knew how to totally get his father, his lips wobbled like he was about to cry.

Gyuvin folded in under three seconds. He grabbed the tiniest potato he could find before Ricky could even stop him and placed it gently onto Yujin’s lap. “There,” he whispered. “They have baby potato.”

Ricky stared at his husband in disbelief. “You are unbelievable, Kim Gyuvin.”

“Just look at him, Ricky! How can you even resist that? You’re cold-hearted with a pretty face.”

The tiny potato was cradled carefully in both hands now while he giggled to himself. “Baby potato..”

“Happy now?”

Yujin nodded, holding four potatoes in his small arms. “Appa, Baba, Yuyu, Baby!”

“So cute,” Gyuvin muttered fondly. But then he paused. “Why is there a baby? There’s only three of us, Yujinie!”

“No.. baby..” Yujin responded without even bothering to look at his father.

Ricky cleared his throat, “What is your son even on?”

“Oh my god,” Gyuvin gasped. “Are you pregnant, baby?”

Ricky smacked Gyuvin on his shoulder, his husband just laughed at him. “What the hell are you saying?” He whispered, “You’re totally crazy, Kim Gyuvin. Get away from me.”

“You know what they say,” Gyuvin smiled. “I saw it on Reddit, Ricky! They said a kid’s senses are really sharp and accurate—”

Of course he saw it on Reddit.

Ricky glared at him before pushing the cart. He decided to end their little grocery date because his husband was losing it now. Yujin was completely focused on his little potato family. He was smiling so big. Gyuvin was screaming behind them to wait for him. Ricky pushed the cart faster. Gyuvin ran after them. They made the grocery store like their own playground. Well, shoot Ricky for scolding them about running around the store, which could end up a disaster by the way, and now he's also doing it.

It's actually fun.

“Kim Ricky! Ya!”

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

“Foot,” Yujin instructed seriously, lifting his leg.

Ricky was kneeling on the floor while helping Yujin put his sneakers on before daycare. Gyuvin was still in the kitchen finishing Yujin’s lunchbox so he could eat snacks later.

“Yes, Your Majesty.” Ricky chuckled.

Yujin giggled. 

Yujin is already three years old now. 

His parents decided to enroll him to daycare, Hanbin advised him to since Haneul also entered daycare at that age. The first two weeks of it were really hard for Ricky and Gyuvin. It’s like they’re finally letting their son wander and be exposed to the real-world after spending his toddler life talking to his rabbit plushie and singing the Pororo theme song even in the bathtub. Yujin cried so hard, he didn't even want to be pulled away from Gyuvin. His arms were wrapped around Gyuvin’s neck so tightly that he almost couldn’t breathe. Ricky was just looking away the whole time because if he looked, he knew he’d just take Yujin back home and never let him attend again just to never hear his cries again. Ricky’s heart was hurting the whole time, Yujin was calling for him so painfully that he ended up tearing up in front of the teacher. Gyuvin bursted in tears when they’re already in the car. He kept on saying ‘Baby, let’s just take him home. He’d just cry all day. He doesn’t need to learn now! He’s still a baby!’ as he drove away from the center. Ricky had to comfort him for an hour before he stopped crying. They were already in front of Ricky;s company, and his manager kept calling his phone nonstop but he just couldn’t leave his husband like that. His eyes ended up swollen, his nose was so red, and there were dried up tears on his cheeks. Ricky’s heart ached more.

And Gyuvin got to finally work at their company after years. He was supposed to take over their company, but oh well, Ricky got pregnant. So now, it’s like he’s back to square one. 

Sometimes he’d be the one to fetch Yujin from his daycare. If he can’t go because of his work, he’d ask his secretary to get him and then his secretary would take him into his office, which looked more like a playground than a corporate office. Yujin’s plushies were literally on the couch instead of throw pillows. There was a big box at the corner where Yujin’s blocks were stored. He installed a baby cam to watch over his son if ever he needed to be in a meeting, and Yujin would be left with his cousin who’s also working in the company. 

Ricky smiled softly while fixing the velcro straps of Yujin’s shoes carefully. But when he was fixing it one last time, he touched the toe cap. He stared at the shoes like it wronged him. His eyes stayed there for a minute.

“Gyuvin.”

“Hm?” Gyuvin answered from the kitchen.

“These shoes fit him last month.” Ricky blinked, holding the other shoe that he hasn’t put on Yujin yet.

Gyuvin walked out of the kitchen with a small blue bag in his hand. “What happened?” 

Ricky sighed. He sat on the floor like his knees just gave up. Ricky looked personally betrayed by the sneakers. “They’re small now.” 

Yujin blinked at him innocently while chewing on the sleeve of his sweater. “Baba?” 

Gyuvin sat beside their son on the couch and held his hand to stop him from trying to devour his clothes like he hadn’t just eaten two pancakes and milk. “Don’t eat your sweater,” he said. Then he looked back at Ricky who sighed again for the third time. Gyuvin started laughing immediately. “Baby, are you having a crisis over shoe sizes?” 

“He was tiny yesterday.”

Gyuvin chuckled. “He is still tiny, Ricky.”

“He used to fit in one arm.” Ricky’s shoulder sagged like it was the most devastating thing that has ever happened to him. Because it is. His son was getting bigger each day, it’s like he is slowly slipping through their fingers. But that’s more of an exaggeration because he is literally only three years old.

“He still fits in one arm.” 

“Well not comfortably anymore!”

Yujin looked between them curiously.

“Why is Baba sad?”

Gyuvin grinned. “Because you committed the crime of growing up.”

Ricky hit him on his thigh with his heavy hand. “Don’t say it like that, Kim Gyuvin!”

“Okay, okay,” Gyuvin said defeatedly. “We can just buy shoes for him tomorrow. You don’t have a schedule, right? I can take a day off. The atmosphere at the company is making me age faster.”

“That’s because you’re twenty-six. You are old.”

“You’re older than me, excuse me?”

The bickering ended only when Gyuvin finally dropped off Ricky at his company. Yes, he drops him off now every day. They’d drop off Yujin first, then Ricky, then Gyuvin would do a U-Turn to go to their company. On Saturday, Gyuvin would be at home with Yujin, And on Sunday, Ricky is also at home with them, and they’d spend the whole day with no emails, no talking about work, no packed schedules that looked like a goddamn death wish. That day was just for the three of them.

Later that day, Ricky just finished bathing Yujin, now he wrapped him in a towel like a springroll. Yujin giggled before he waddled like a penguin. Gyuvin was sitting on the bed, waiting for him with a big smile and open arms.

“My baby smells good again,” Gyuvin said, literally sniffing their son’s hair like a vacuum. “Aigoo. Smells like a baby!”

“I am baby!” Yujin said.

“Yes, you are,” Gyuvin chuckled.

Ricky also sat on the bed and gathered Yujin’s pajamas that Gyuvin laid out on the bed. “Come here now, Bǎobǎo.” He pulled their son gently since he is still wrapped like a burrito, and now Ricky unwrapped him, Yujin almost spun along with the towel. “Oh, careful, you might trip.” 

“I chose your favorite pajamas, baby! The one with the pink rabbit! Isn’t Appa so great?”

“Yes!”

“What kind of disrespect is this,” Ricky clicked his tongue. He pushed back Yujin’s damp hair and wiped the trail of water on his flushed cheek with his thumb. “Did you play with your friend again today? What was his name?”

“Eunwoo!”

“Ah, Eunwoo!” Gyuvin chuckled, “Was he nice?”

“Hm!”

While Gyuvin was talking to Yujin about his new friend at the daycare, Ricky started putting on Yujin’s pajamas. The pants fit just the same, though Yujin’s little tummy just became more rounded than before so the garter stretched more. But when Ricky guided Yujin to wear his shirt, which used to be a lot bigger than their son's, the sleeves almost swallowed his small hands. But now it still fits, but the hem was shorter than Ricky remembered. His son’s stomach was slightly peeking. 

When did Yujin get so much taller?

Ricky just stared at the shirt. Of course Gyuvin noticed the exact moment Ricky got quiet.

“Hey,” he nudged Ricky gently. 

Ricky looked at him, his eyes blinking slowly, and he sniffed dramatically.

“Ricky,” Gyuvin laughed softly. “You’re really emotional today, huh.”

“He’s growing. His shirt was so much shorter now. How can he grow this much when he got this shirt just last year..”

“That’s usually what kids do, jagiya. They grow taller, next time you know, he might even be taller than you.”

Ricky looked down with a pout. “But why is he doing it so fast?”

“Are you also gonna cry like this when you realize that he’s growing a centimeter every day when he becomes a teenager? What do you expect, baby? You’re tall, but I’m taller. He has the genes of both of us, that just means he’s gonna be much taller than kids his age. I used to be like that, you know.”

“But..”

Ricky looked at Yujin who was looking back at him with his curious eyes. His big, round eyes that used to stare at him. His eyes used to be rounder, but now it’s like it’s having its own shape and becoming sharper at the end. His eyes used to be like Gyuvin’s, but if you stare at him now, it’s definitely Ricky’s. Ricky should be bragging about that, but he’d be lying if he says that he didn’t want that when he looks at Yujin’s innocent eyes, he sees Gyuvin. His button-nose that Ricky wishes would never change. His flushed cheeks that he hoped would never lose its color. 

He’s really growing now.

While staring, Yujin smiled at him. The same big smile. The crooked teeth because he’s a kid who loves candies. The dimple at the corner of his mouth. Ricky momentarily saw the image of five months old Yujin in front of him. It was the same smile he had as a baby.

And suddenly Ricky could see all of it at once somehow — the newborn Yujin who cried at the crack of dawn like he didn't want to give his parents a chance to sleep even a wink. The six months old Yujin who was doing his best to stand up while looking up at his parents’ reaction like he was doing it for them. The toddler Yujin who doesn’t want to be away from his fathers even just for a millisecond. The tiny Yujin who used to wear small shoes, small socks, and small onesies that Gyuvin absolutely loved buying. The toddler who asked impossible why questions. The toddler who loves dancing on the table. The kid who loves singing the Pororo theme song with his Appa while he’s in the bathtub. The little Yujin who loved his rabbit plushie called Bunbun more than his parents. The Yujin who kept kicking Ricky in the womb that made him pee every minute. The baby that used to be size of an apple. The little baby in the womb that Gyuvin kept talking to every night, singing songs to him as if they've known each other for a long time. The baby that made him cry because he couldn't eat a watermelon ice cream with peanut butter and salt.

But maybe growing isn’t bad at all. Because Gyuvin and Ricky grew up too, and that’s why they’re here.

Maybe one day he’d stop reaching for their hands automatically. Maybe one day he’d be in his rebellious teenager phase that both Ricky and Gyuvin used to be in. Maybe one day he’ll meet more friends. Maybe one day he won’t cry anymore when his parents are gone by his side when he gets sick. Maybe one day he doesn’t even want his Pororo drink anymore. Maybe his shoes would keep getting bigger. Maybe one day he'd stop treating his rabbit plushie like it's breathing, and maybe he wouldn't even reach for it anymore.

Maybe Ricky would keep having tiny heartbreaks over every new milestone. 

But right now, Yujin is here. Calling them Appa and Baba in his tiny but really loud voice. Still asking why questions, but now it’s followed with how and what. Still scared of big creatures. Still cries in his fathers’ chest. Still holds their shirt when he sleeps. Still couldn’t pronounce pufferfish.

Gyuvin must’ve noticed Ricky spiraling again because he bumped their shoulders together gently.

“He’s still our baby.” Gyuvin smiled at him reassuringly. “He’s only three years old, come on. We still have a long way to go before this little menace starts ignoring us because we’re annoying and embarrassing.”

Ricky looked at Yujin.

“Yeah,” Ricky laughed softly. “Maybe a little.”

“A little?” Gyuvin scoffed. “He literally tried to wear his shoes on his hands yesterday.”

“I wanted fast,” Yujin defended like he’s making a point.

“That doesn’t even make sense, Bǎobǎo.” Ricky laughed.

“I have four foot!” Yujin shouted.

“Feet,” Gyuvin corrected. He laughed before pinching Yujin’s cheeks, “Oh, don’t grow up so fast. You’re making the cold-hearted guy with a pretty face cry.”

“Eng?” He pouted then he looked at Ricky who just smiled at him weakly. “Why Baba?”

“Because we won’t have a little baby anymore.”

“Baby!” Yujin beamed, “Hannie hyung have baby!” 

He was talking about Hanbin and Hao’s second baby, Harin.

“Yes, they do.” 

“YUYU TOO!”

“No, Yujin,” Ricky coughed.

“Yuyu..” He pouted. “Why?”

“You’re still a baby.”

“HAVE TWO BABY!”

“Oh my god.” Ricky face palmed. He started to sound like a parent raising five children because of how done he sounded like, the only difference is he's only raising a three year old and his husband. "Let's end this conversation. Okay?"

Gyuvin nudged him again, he grinned so wide. “No, let's not. So.. what do you think?”

“No.”

“Aw..” the two disappointedly exclaimed in unison like it was planned.

In conclusion, Yujin was growing. From being a loud and energetic toddler, to a kid whose shoes barely fits him. And, they were teaming up against Ricky.