Actions

Work Header

hi ilya, is this still available?

Summary:

A glimpse into Shane and Ilya's life after getting together on Facebook Marketplace, and a short-lived attempt at finding a third roommate.

A sequel to hi shane, is this still available?

Notes:

im so happy to have finally finished the second part of the hollanov fb marketplaceverse LOL. thank you to everyone's continued support—i still read all your comments from hi shane, is this still available? and i am absolutely touched by every single one :(

i am always learning how to be better with my code, so onto the new stuff:

  • all the message chats are now scrollable!
  • videos are clickable
  • you can click or hover over most of the russian and french text and it will translate it into english
  • the marketplace listing photos are now scrollable as well :3
  • some of the formatting is different (and hopefully better!) from the first part

content warning for some suggestive imagery, but nothing very explicit! also light angst mainly associated with ilya’s family.

edit (5/30): the absolute BIGGEST thank you to Anastasiya3377 for helping me with all the russian text and editing the translation inaccuracies from the first iteration. ya tebya lyublyu ❤️

 

as always, i will be linking to the base code i used at the end. and i’m happy to say that my husband and i have found a place since the first part of this series <3

i hope you guys enjoy!!!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

12:34

Tuesday, September 8

Rose iMessage icon

iMessage icon

ex-roomies 💔👎
rose
LETS GO i finally have a reason to watch a sports game lmao

5m ago

Svetlana iMessage icon

iMessage icon

ex-roomies 💔👎
sveta
CONGRATS UR OFFICIALLY A GG

5m ago

Shane iMessage icon

iMessage icon

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Congratulations! 🥳

7m ago

Shane iMessage icon

iMessage icon

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Did you see the Gee-Gee’s Facebook post? I think they tagged you.

7m ago

Facebook Icon

Facebook
uOttawa Men's Hockey tagged you in a post.

7m ago

Snapchat Icon

Svetlana
sent a Snap

16m ago

Snapchat Icon

Rose
added to their Story

18m ago

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov se joint à la grande famille des Gee-Gees! 🐎


Ilya Rozanov, un centre originaire de Moscou, en Russie, a brièvement suivi une formation à l'école de hockey du CSKA Moscou avant de rejoindre le hockey amateur au sein de la Night Hockey League (NHL). La saison dernière, il a inscrit 64 points (36 buts, 28 passes décisives) en 26 matchs. Un véritable renfort de haut niveau pour l'équipe!


Bienvenue dans la capitale! 🏛️


••


Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov is joining the Gee-Gees family! 🐎


An electric center from Moscow, Russia, Ilya Rozanov briefly trained in The CSKA Moscow Hockey School before transferring to amateur hockey and playing in The Night Hockey League (NHL). He most recently logged 64 points (36 goals, 28 assists) in 26 games last season. Truly an elite addition to the team!


Welcome to the Capital Region! 🏛️


#HorseHockey 🐎 #GGNation #GGCavalry

Reactions bar

pfp

Shane Hollander · 2m

Glad to have you on the team! 🥳🏒

Like · Reply

pfp

Hayden Pike · 2m

You did it, I guess! 🐎

Like · Reply

pfp

Cliff Marlow · 2m

THIS IS FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!

Like · Reply

Write a comment...

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Fri, Sep 11 at 20:22

Congrats again!

Let’s celebrate when you get home 🙂

thank you ❤️

can’t wait

Enjoy getting drinks with Svetlana and Rose.

they say hi lol

i am becoming their personal photographer tonight 😐

Haha.

Tell them I say hi too.

Also btw, you told me you only played in clubs after the school.

Those are pretty insane stats still.

i told you, i am very good

always showed off at regional competition

even as amateur ;)

Yeah, yeah.

playing with you will be best competition though

We’re on the same team...

but only one can be best player, no?

Fuck off.

scared, hollander?

Fri, Sep 11 at 22:59

well

this is our 6th round already

they are telling me “night is still young”

😭

Fri, Sep 11 at 23:27

hellooo

are you still awake

you promised to celebrate

Delivered

iMessage

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Fri, Sep 11 at 23:45

Don’t stay out too late.

Your reward is waiting at home.

holy shit

holy fuck??

fuck shane

you are crazy

I told you I wanted to celebrate you getting on the team.

this is too much

fuck im so hard rn

had to go to bathroom

need to be quick, sveta and rose were giving me funny looks

Don’t touch yourself.

what

I didn’t say you could.

Be good and wait for your reward.

fuck

what the fuck

ok

shit, you’re such an asshole

Don’t want to keep your friends waiting, right?

Go back out there.

im still so fucking hard

That’s my problem, how?

fuck you

please

let me

over my jeans

just a little

I won’t let you fuck me later if you come.

In a bar bathroom of all places. Jesus.

im desperate

you send me teasing pictures out of nowhere

If you don’t listen, I’ll make you watch me later.

I’ll make you watch as I fuck myself.

Rather than your reward, you and your useless cock can watch as I play with the toy instead.

Hm?

so mean, shane

i need to fuck you

Hurry back home then.

iMessage

Le capitaine Shane Hollander et la nouvelle recrue Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov s'affrontent avec fougue sur la glace pendant l'entraînement 🔥


Nous avons tous hâte de voir ce que ce duo dynamique nous réserve pour la saison 2026-2027!


••


Captain Shane Hollander and newest member Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov are getting heated on the ice during practice 🔥


We’re all looking forward to what this dynamic pair will showcase for the 2026-27 season!


#HorseHockey 🐎 #GGNation #GGCavalry

Reactions bar

pfp

Hayden Pike · 2m

🐎🐎🐎

Like · Reply

Write a comment...

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Sat, Sep 12 at 13:37

uOttawa Men's Hockey - Le capitaine Shane Holl...

facebook.com

oh yes we’re getting heated for sure 😏

Shut up.

hmm you were saying “please more” a lot last night, no?

“harder, harder”

“да, сэр” Yes, sir.

Whatever.

and when you sat on my face

and i was eating you out

holy shit you were choking me out with your thighs

you killed me, shane

your panties got so fucking soaked too

you wrecked them

fuck that was so hot

need to get you a new pair

Better start winning some games then.

Gotta have a reason to celebrate, yeah?

you challenging me?

Don’t think you can do it?

you will regret saying that

Delivered

iMessage

ex-roomies 💔👎

Ottawa ON

Sat, Sep 12 at 14:02

rose

i am NEVER gonna let u guys convince me to go shot for shot again

sveta

shes having a terrible time rn

rose

you will literally have to pry me out of this bed.

sveta

dw baby, i would never do that <3

sveta

you good tho ilya???

rose

yea you just suddenly dipped last night

rose

we checked your location and saw u were home but just wanted to make sure...

rose

oh

sveta

was the sex really THAT good...?

i am now a religious man again

i think i entered the gates of heaven last night

rose

i dont wanna know

sveta

girl 😭

sveta

sounds like you entered something for sure.......

iMessage

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Wed, Sep 23 at 19:36

cute

like angry kitten

😾😾😾

Were you taking photos of me instead of focusing on practice?

my practice is great

you should know

3v1 a little rough today? ;)

Fuck off.

i love you

🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

I love you too.

😁

Delivered

iMessage

Match d’ouverture à domicile demain soir!


••


Home opener tomorrow night!


🎟️: tickets.geegees.ca


#HorseHockey 🐎 #GGNation #GGCavalry #LetsMakeHistory

Reactions bar

pfp

Cliff Marlow · 3m

LETS GO GGS 🔥

Like · Reply

Hayden Pike · 3m

DO YOU NOT SEE THIS IMAGE?

Like · Reply

pfp

Hayden Pike · 2m

THIS PHOTO??? WHEN THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN??? AND WHY???

Like · Reply

Shane Hollander · 2m

The social media intern said that they needed a way to get more views on their Facebook posts, so we decided to do a photoshoot for some promo...

Like · Reply

Hayden Pike · 2m

AND THIS WAS THE SAID PHOTOSHOOT??

Like · Reply

uOttawa Men's Hockey · 1m

We always want to show our support for the Men’s Hockey Team’s favourite couple! ❤️

Like · Reply

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov · 1m

yes exactly, do not be so homophobic pike

Like · Reply

Hayden Pike · 1m

For the record, I am NOT homophobic. I just can’t believe I’m staring at your nipples right now

Like · Reply

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov · 1m

you’re welcome

Like · Reply

Write a comment...

𝑱𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑫𝑬 𝑴𝑨𝑻𝑪𝑯 🐎 𝑮𝑨𝑴𝑬 𝑫𝑨𝒀


Match d’ouverture à domicile ce soir. Joignez-vous à nous pour la levée de notre bannière de champions de la Coupe Universitaire.


••


Home opener tonight. Join us as we raise our U Cup Championship banner.


📍: Minto Sports Complex
🎟️: tickets.geegees.ca
⏱️: 7:00PM / 19H00
📺: OUA.tv/watch

Reactions bar

pfp

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov · 5m

god bless the social media intern for chosing this photo 👅💦💦

Like · Reply

Shane Hollander · 4m

Please do not say stuff like this on the official Facebook account...

Like · Reply

pfp

Shane Hollander · 4m

Let's go! 💪 But, is it okay if we use a different photo next time?

Like · Reply

uOttawa Men's Hockey · 4m

Sorry, captain. But engagement was up by an unbelievable amount after yesterday’s post!

Like · Reply

pfp

Hayden Pike · 3m

I am sensing a trend...

Like · Reply

Write a comment...

Victoire à domicile 😤 4–1, pointage finale!


••


Got it done at home 😤 4–1 final!


#HorseHockey 🐎 #GGNation #GGCavalry #LetsMakeHistory

Reactions bar

pfp

Hayden Pike · 1m

GGS FIRST WIN SECURED 🏆🐎 i REALLY still cant get over the choice of photos though..

Like · Reply

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov · 1m

no complaints here 🤷‍♂️

Like · Reply

Hayden Pike · 1m

Seriously, no one asked.

Like · Reply

pfp

Shane Hollander · 1m

Amazing work from the entire team! I do think it would be great to highlight the other players as well.

Like · Reply

Write a comment...

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Sat, Oct 17 at 22:18

great game tonight, yes?

You played pretty good.

just good?

Could’ve been better.

so strict, hollander

i score many goals tonight and you are still not satisfied?

You play harder when it’s just the two of us at practice.

eh mcgill was easy

My dad played hockey for them.

ok? your dad is easy then?

Fuck you, Rozanov.

why dont you shut up and get out of locker room?

you’re probably so hard already

is that why you didn’t want me to shower with you?

probably could not resist sucking my dick

even with whole team there

you would like that, hollander?

you like when i refer to you like this?

when i treat you like this?

like you are nothing more than teammate for me to fuck?

Shut up.

i believe i have reward for win

hmm?

Fuck off, I’m still getting changed.

Sat, Oct 17 at 22:24

shit

come out. now.

Delivered

iMessage

Hayden

Ottawa ON

Sat, Oct 17 at 23:02

The boys are going out for drinks tn 🔥🔥🔥

You and Rozanov are coming with, it has been decided

Meet us at The Lookout?? That good?

You know we love and support you guys man 🙏😎🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

Sat, Oct 17 at 23:10

Hellooo

Hello???

ik you’re awake

Sat, Oct 17 at 23:16

Coming over rn HEADS UP

Be there in 15

Sat, Oct 17 at 23:33

Dude, I’ve been knocking on your door forever

You good?

Your code still the same?

lmao it is

FINAL WARNING I’m coming in

Umm... Dude seriously, where are you?

Sat, Oct 17 at 23:37

uhh not to alarm you but

I think someone broke into your apartment?????

I hear really loud banging coming from down the hall

you’re welcome btw your best friend is risking his life rn to defend your home

oh god i heard someone scream

oh god they’re screaming so much

What the fuck

Someone might be getting fucking murdered in your house, Shane

This is not okay

Sat, Oct 17 at 23:42

I’m checking it out

If I die tonight, tell Jackie I love her.

Tell the Gee-Gees they’re the best team I’ve ever played with.

Most importantly, just know that I will always love you, man.

Sat, Oct 17 at 23:58

Oh god.

I am so sorry.

See you guys at practice.

iMessage

loser pike

Ottawa ON

Sun, Oct 18 at 00:05

i will kill you, pike.

IM SO SORRY

I HEARD SCREAMING

I didn’t realize…

I thought someone was getting murdered…….

yes you are right

i was murdering shane’s asshole that’s why he was screaming so loud

I GET IT

Door wide open though?? Really???

do you think we expected guests?

are you fucking stupid?

😭

How was that position even possible…

are you done thinking about my cock inside of your best friend

Yes.

I’m sorry.

iMessage

Hayden

Ottawa ON

Sun, Oct 18 at 00:12

I changed the door code.

Just as a heads up...

IM SORRY

Sun, Oct 18 at 00:18

um

btw

Not to bring this up again

But I thought you should know that when I walked in on

yknow

You and Rozanov...

What is it..?

sorry I just thought you should know that

I saw a pair of women's underwear

On the floor...

It was all white and lace and shit

Rozanov isn’t cheating on you with some girl... is he?

In your own home of all places???

Drop it, Hayden.

Okay, shit my bad 😭😭😭

iMessage

À la maison ce soir alors que nous affrontons les Concordia Stingers. 🔥


••


At home tonight as we take on the Concordia Stingers. 🔥


📍: Minto Sports Complex
🎟️: tickets.geegees.ca
⏱️: 7:00PM / 19H00
📺: OUA.tv/watch

Reactions bar

pfp

Hayden Pike · 4m

I give up.

Like · Reply

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov · 4m

sounds like someone is jealous they don’t have sexy promo photoshoot yet lmao

Like · Reply

Hayden Pike · 3m

IM NOT. I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHY ALL OUR PROMOS HAVE TO BE OF US NAKED.

Like · Reply

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov · 3m

marketing technique duh

Like · Reply

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov · 3m

also who is us? we might get negative likes if we had naked promo of you, pike 😂😂😂

Like · Reply

Hayden Pike · 2m

SHUT UP!!??

Like · Reply

pfp

Shane Hollander · 3m

Oh. Wow!

Like · Reply

uOttawa Men's Hockey · 3m

We’re highlighting other players just like you asked, captain! ;)

Like · Reply

Shane Hollander · 2m

Well... You sure are, I suppose.

Like · Reply

pfp

Cliff Marlow · 2m

THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME DO THIS PHOTOSHOOT 🙏🙏🙏 you guys are awesome 💪💪💪

Like · Reply

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov · 1m

this is hot as fuck 🔥🔥🔥

Like · Reply

Shane Hollander · 1m

Excuse me?

Like · Reply

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov · 1m

🧯💨

Like · Reply

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov · 1m

im sorry

Like · Reply

Write a comment...

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Mon, Oct 26 at 14:16

Do you want to go up to the cottage next weekend?

I think it would be nice to do something together.

Just the two of us.

yes

i would love to

Okay, cool.

🙂

❤️❤️❤️

Mon, Oct 26 at 14:38

i am dog bathing now too apparently

this is cujo

Please put a jumpscare warning next time.

Mon, Oct 26 at 15:11

I’m at Whole Foods right now.

Anything specific you want me to pick up for the cottage?

oooo

ketchup chips pls

and those hotdogs we got last time

yum yum

Okay 🙂

thank you my love

❤️

his name is poncho 🥰

Aww.

Mon, Oct 26 at 15:45

i dont think he likes baths...

Dear god.

iMessage

Grateful for you always. Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov

Reactions bar

pfp

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov · 2m

you are mine.

Like · Reply

Write a comment...

my home Shane Hollander

Reactions bar

pfp

Shane Hollander · 4m

I love you ❤️

Like · Reply

Write a comment...

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Fri, Nov 13 at 11:28

  • 1 carton of Earth’s Own almond milk
  • 1 loaf of whole-grain bread
  • 2 cartons of eggs (the 18-count Vita Eggs brand is on sale this week for $8.99)
  • 2 packs of boneless skinless chicken breast (3 pieces)
  • 3 packs of Atlantic salmon portions (2 pieces, just the plain ones please)
  • 2 packs of frozen mixed berries
  • 2 tubs of Liberte plain Greek yogurt
  • 1 bag of Kettle Brand gluten-free sea salt chips
  • The usual vegetables

Oh, can you please thoroughly check the lettuce this time?

The one we got last week had some browning on it already 🙁

Thank you.

of course мой любимыйMy beloved.

how is laundry detergent btw?

it was almost empty when i did my load yesterday

Oh shit, you’re right.

Thank you for remembering.

You can get anything, just unscented please.

sounds good ❤️

Fri, Nov 13 at 12:41

got even better savings than last grocery trip 😈

🥳🥳🥳

iMessage

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Tue, Nov 24 at 10:44

Hi :)

My yoga class just finished. I’m picking up food for us from Eggspectation before I head home.

This look okay?

I got a side of extra bacon for you.

that is perfect

thank you darling ❤️

No problem ❤️

Tue, Nov 24 at 10:51

Oh yeah, before I forget.

Does this order look good too? 🙂

oh my goodness

yes it is great

dont forget to use coupon that we got from last order

👍

iMessage

Father

MOW

Thu, Dec 3 at 09:31

Когда ты приедешь домой на Рождество? When are you coming home for Christmas?

Нет, отец. Прости. I’m not, father. I’m sorry.

В этом году я отмечаю праздник вместе со своим соседом по комнате и его семьёй. I am celebrating with my roommate and his family this year.

Ты предпочитаешь праздновать с незнакомыми людьми, а не со своей семьёй? You would rather celebrate with strangers than your own family?

Они мне не чужие. Они заботятся обо мне, пока я здесь. They are not strangers. They take care of me while I’m here.

Кроме того, они меня пригласили. Also, they invited me.

Я хочу быть вежливым. I want to be polite.

С тех пор как ты уехал из России, ты стал пренебрежительным и упрямым. Ever since you left Russia you have become dismissive and stubborn.

Я отправляю тебя учиться в Канаду, каждый месяц посылаю тебе кучу денег. И тем не менее ты даже не можешь приехать домой на каникулы. I send you to school in Canada, I send you plenty of money every month. Yet you cannot even come home for the holidays.

У твоего брата есть жена и дочь. Он работает полицейским на полную ставку. Your brother has a wife and daughter. He has a full-time job as police officer.

А ты? Ты решил заняться хоккеем в колледже и тем самым погубил свою профессиональную карьеру. And you? You decide to play college hockey and ruin your professional career.

Ты нас наказываешь? Ты настолько ненавидишь свою жизнь? Are you punishing us? Do you hate your life that much?

Илья, ты всегда нас разочаровываешь. Always disappointing us, Ilya.

Что бы сказала твоя мама? What would your mother say?

Она ничего не может сказать, отец. She can’t say anything, father.

Она мертва. She is dead.

Я имел в виду Полину. I meant Polina.

Потому что она, конечно же, очень заботится обо мне. Because she cares a lot about my life, of course.

Я вышлю тебе пособие на следующий месяц. I will send you your allowance for next month.

Не связывайся со мной до этого. Do not contact me again until after.

С Рождеством, папа. Merry Christmas, father.

Delivered

iMessage

Alexei

MOW

Thu, Dec 3 at 10:22

Не забудь дать папе лекарство. Don’t forget to give dad his medicine.

Delivered

iMessage

10:33

Thursday, December 3

Shane iMessage icon

iMessage icon

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Hi. My yoga class just ended.

Now

Anonymous icon

iMessage icon

Alexei
Он, блядь, чертовски зол на тебя.He’s really fucking mad at you.

1m ago

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Thu, Dec 3 at 10:33

Hi. My yoga class just ended.

Would you be able to pick me up, please?

of course 😘

i will leave in 5 mins

Thank you.

Oh, btw.

I know it isn’t for a few more weeks, but I was wondering if you were gonna make sharlotka again?

for christmas dinner?

you remember that?

Of course.

My parents loved it when you brought some over to their place last time.

I thought it was delicious too.

I would love to have it again.

Only if you wanted to make it though.

There is no pressure.

I know how time-consuming baking is.

i will make it then ❤️

Really?

yes, really

i will make as much as you want

Haha.

Thank you.

I love you.

i love you forever

Delivered

iMessage

December 3, 2026 at 17:28

Рецепт маминой шарлоткиMama’s Sharlotka recipe

  • Butter/nonstick spray (for pan)
  • 6 tart apples (Granny Smiths)
  • 3 large eggs
  • 1 cup (200 grams) granulated sugar
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 cup (125 grams) all-purpose flour
  • Ground cinnamon
  • Powdered sugar
    • note: shane likes it plain (light cinammon and sugar is fine), yuna likes whipped cream, david likes caramel sauce
    • reminder: shane prefers nonstick cooking spray because it is healthier than butter

Merry Christmas from the Hollander-Rozanovs! 🥰🎄 Special thank you to Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov for always making the best sharlotka ❤️

Reactions bar

pfp

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov · 4m

yuna... 🥺

Like · Reply

Yuna Hollander · 2m

I love you boys so much!!

Like · Reply

Write a comment...

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Fri, Dec 25 at 19:21

Ilya, are you okay?

You’ve been in the bathroom for awhile.

yes i am okay

sorry, did not want you or your parents to see me crying

Crying??

What happened? Do you need me to come to you?

no it’s okay i will be out soon

just

your mom’s post

she said hollander-rozanov

Oh, yeah.

Sorry, was that weird? She just really likes you, but I can tell her not to refer to us like that again if it makes you uncomfortable.

no no not at all

very sweet, made me very emotional

i feel like im really part of your family

Well, that’s because you are, Ilya.

really?

Always have been.

❤️

i love you so much

I love you too.

iMessage

ex-roomies 💔👎

Ottawa ON

Thu, Dec 31 at 23:32

sveta

sveta

ILYA WHERE U ATTTT

rose

HALF AN HOUR UNTIL THE NEW YEAR LOCK IN BROTHER

sorry already had new years eve plans 😛

rose

okay you guys are cute or whatever

rose

enjoy!!!

sveta

who knew sending ur nudes on fb marketplace would lead to this aw <3

ok not too much now

rose

😭😭😭

iMessage

Father

MOW

Fri, Jan 1 at 00:02

Здесь уже наступил Новый год. It’s the New Year here now.

Fri, Jan 1 at 00:14

Постараюсь скоро вернуться домой. I will try and come home soon.

Не нужно. No need.

Я перевел тебе деньги. Они должны поступить на твой счет завтра. I sent you money. It should be in your account tomorrow.

Хорошо. Okay.

Delivered

iMessage

Alexei

MOW

Fri, Jan 1 at 00:03

С Новым годом, Алексей. Happy New Year, Alexei.

Береги свою семью. Take care of your family.

Read 00:08

iMessage

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Fri, Jan 1 at 01:57

hi shane

you are sleeping now so you wont see this until morning

maybe it is weird im texting you when you are sleeping beside me

i dont know

im feeling a bit sad

two hours into 2027 lol

but i just wanted to tell you that it’s our first new year together

i realized that

and then i also realized i want to spend every new year with you forever

maybe thats a bit extreme

but hmm

this is like turning new chapter in our book together

or whatever the saying is

i dont know im getting tired too

i just want to keep having firsts with you forever

i guess

i know forever is a long time

but i think that is the point

i love you shane

good night

Fri, Jan 1 at 06:04

I am yours longer than forever could be.

iMessage

February 14, 2027 at 01:11

for shane, valentines
day post (draft)

Дорогой Шейн, Dear Shane,

Мне не нравится, насколько ты способен превратить меня в ничто иное, как в человека, которому суждено было любить тебя и только тебя. I hate how much you have the ability to render me nothing more than someone who was meant to love you and only you.

Я никогда не пишу писем. Если это вообще можно назвать письмом. Гораздо проще сказать что-то вслух и сделать эти слова легковесными. Потому что, как только ты их записываешь, они становятся неотъемлемой частью всего твоего существа. I don’t write letters, ever. if you could even call this as such. It’s much easier to say things out loud and leave them ephemeral. Because once you have written them down, they become permanent artifacts of everything you are.

Чернила на бумаге, текст на экране, синяки и красные пятна, разбросанные по всей твоей коже. Теперь во вселенной запечатлено, что я запомнил каждый проход в Whole Foods в Лэнсдаун-парке, могу вспомнить каждый символ на этикетках стирки, как будто это алфавит, и я начертил на твоем теле каждое созвездие, украденное с ночного неба. The ink on paper, the text on screen, the bruised purples and reds littered all over your skin. It is now etched into the universe that I have memorized every aisle of the Whole Foods at Lansdowne Park, I can recall each laundry symbol like it is the alphabet, and I have traced every constellation stolen from the night sky on your body.

Как чертовски забавно, что мы влюбились именно на Facebook Marketplace. Совсем не романтично, но это так на нас похоже. How fucking funny it is that we fell in love on Facebook Marketplace of all things. Far from romantic, but truly us nonetheless.

Я не знаю, как я смогу написать все это по-английски. Это действительно сложно. Или, может быть, ты мог бы выучить русский, что, вероятно, у тебя получилось бы, если бы ты действительно постарался. Ты бы заговорил свободно через неделю, я знаю. Потому что ты просто такой идеальный. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to write all of this in English. It’s really hard. Or maybe you could learn Russian, which you probably could if you really tried hard enough. You will be fluent in a week, I know. Because you are just that perfect.

Но я всегда колебался, стоит ли учить тебя. Не только обычным ласковым и грязным словечкам, которые ты научился произносить в постели. Не потому, что я не хочу, чтобы ты учился. Совсем нет. Я хочу целовать твои губы всей силой своего родного языка. На том языке, на котором моя мама впервые научила меня любить. But I’ve always been hesitant to teach you. More than just the simple affections and dirty things that you have learnt to say in bed. Not because I don’t want you to learn. Not at all. I want to kiss your lips with the full weight of my mother tongue. In the language my mother first taught me how to love with.

Но я боюсь, что больше не смогу прятаться за пропущенными союзами или обрывочными предложениями, И ты наконец сможешь понять, насколько безоговорочно и полностью я отдал тебе всю свою душу. But I’m scared that I’ll no longer be able to hide behind missing conjunctions or broken sentences, and you will finally be able to fully understand just how pathetically I’ve given you my whole soul.

Я люблю тебя, мой дорогой. С Днем Святого Валентина. I love you, my darling. Happy Valentine's Day.

i love you forever Shane Hollanderмой любимый ❤️❤️❤️ My darling. (shoutout facebook marketplace 👅💦🔥)

Reactions bar

pfp

Shane Hollander · 2m

Oh my god (I love you too).

Like · Reply

Write a comment...

Happy Valentine’s Day Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov ❤️ Thank you for always being my number one.

Reactions bar

pfp

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov · 2m

Я люблю тебяI love you.

Like · Reply

Write a comment...

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Wed, Apr 28 at 14:49

there are smile cookies at tims again

i got one for you my darling

Oh, thank you!!

This one reminded me of you specifically 😊

😐

iMessage

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Shane Hollander YOU ARE SUPER OLD NOW BUT I STILL LOVE YOU <3

Reactions bar

pfp

Shane Hollander · 2m

I am only older than you by like a month... 😐

Like · Reply

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov · 1m

cradle snatcher

Like · Reply

Shane Hollander · 1m

Who taught you that???

Like · Reply

Write a comment...

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Mon, May 10 at 19:48

i know you’re at dinner with friends right now

but do you want your birthday gift? 😁

Why do I have a bad feeling about this...

nooo it is not bad

will make you excited i think

Oh?

What is it?

0:29

Holy shit.

i know in your dream i was fucking you on the ice

but this is closest i could do for now ;)

What the fuck.

When the fuck did you do this?

Who is filming you?

my secret ways shall not be revealed

but do you like? 😘

Mon, May 10 at 19:59

                             

4:42

Kept • 20:06

fuck shane??

you were touching yourself?

The restaurant has single stall bathrooms.

fuck

im so fucking hard right now

fuck you’re such a good boy

trying to keep quiet

but you would probably like if someone heard you

if someone walked in on you fucking yourself

whole restaurant hearing how much you want my cock

You better stop.

Or I’m gonna have to lie and tell everyone I got food poisoning or something.

Need to see you.

are you hard again?

You would like that, wouldn’t you?

shit you literally just came

I know.

greedy slut

I need your cock, Ilya.

Please.

come home soon and i’ll make you beg for it more

Delivered

iMessage

Happy Birthday Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov 🥳 (I promise he liked where I took him for food...)

Reactions bar

pfp

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov · 2m

the waiter was looking at you too much.

Like · Reply

Shane Hollander · 2m

No they weren’t!

Like · Reply

Write a comment...

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Tue, Jun 15 at 23:18

Happy Birthday 🙂❤️

10:12

I hope you like it. Getting some of the camera angles was really tricky.

Especially setting it up behind me when I was riding the dildo.

shane

fuck

fuck

i think there’s something wrong with my phone

it is only playing first second

fuck please resend please

resend

The video is playing fine on my end.

shit

fuck

shane

please

😭😭😭

Delivered

iMessage

Recently Closed Tabs

This Evening

imessage video not working even after saving

https://www.google.com/search?q=ime...

broken video file on imessage

https://www.google.com/search?q=bro...

imessage video not working restarted phone

https://www.google.com/search?q=ime...

imessage video not working

https://www.google.com/search?q=ime...

video not playing imessage

https://www.google.com/search?q=vid...

This Afternoon

This Morning

Monday, June 14

Sunday, June 13

Saturday, June 12

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Wed, Jun 23 at 15:54

Just finished getting my haircut.

Do you like it? 🙂

Oh.

you look beautiful my darling 🥰

Delivered

iMessage

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Fri, Jul 16 at 08:09

oh shit

i forgot to feed goldie and butterscotch before i left for my run

im sorry shane can you feed them please?

😢

Already did, it’s all good.

0:06

They look much happier now 🙂

yay 😁

thank you ❤️

❤️

iMessage

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Wed, Jul 21 at 02:56

i reached level 3309 tonight

Wed, Jul 21 at 07:14

What the fuck.

Is that what I kept hearing in the middle of the night...

dont look at joint bank account either

Ilya........

🤪🤪🤪

You are doing the dishes for the next week straight.

😞

Delivered

iMessage

Alexei

MOW

Fri, Jul 30 at 16:34

Сегодня был день рождения Полины. It was Polina’s birthday today.

На случай, если ты всё-таки вспомнил, что у тебя здесь, в России, есть семья. In case you still remembered that you have a family here in Russia.

Я уже поздравил её с днём рождения. I already wished her a Happy Birthday.

Просто проверяю. Just checking.

Не надо мне здесь с этим своим чертовым высокомерием. Don’t need the unnecessary fucking attitude.

Гребаная шлюха. Fucking whore.

Ты опять пьян? Are you drunk again?

У тебя есть дочь и жена. Тебе следует заботиться о них, а не напиваться каждый божий день. You have a daughter and a wife. You should be looking after them instead of getting wasted every single day.

А что ты знаешь о семье? О любви? And what would you know about family? About love?

Больше так со мной не разговаривай. Don’t talk to me like that again.

Хорошо. Okay.

Delivered

iMessage

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Sun, Aug 1 at 11:28

Hi.

Sorry, I know you’re dog walking right now.

But I wanted to talk to you about something.

what is it?

It’s something that I’ve been thinking about for a while now.

And I was trying to find the right time to bring it up to you.

iMessage

ex-roomies 💔👎

Ottawa ON

Sun, Aug 1 at 11:30

i will kill myself today 😂

rose

???

rose

huh??

sveta

what’s going on ilya?

it’s obvious no?

shane is breaking up with me.

rose

WHAT

sveta

wait did he say that?????????

i mean

no

not yet

but he is

rose

uhh shouldn’t you wait to see what he ACTUALLY says?

sveta

no fr

sveta

like you haven’t even responded to his most recent text

i am scared guys...

i love him so much

i dont want to lose him

rose

oh babe :(

sveta

i know, im sorry ilya ☹️

sveta

text him back first ok? see what he says

oki :(

rose

WE LOVE YOU WE ARE HERE FOR YOU

sveta

💛💛💛

iMessage

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Sun, Aug 1 at 11:28

Hi.

Sorry, I know you’re dog walking right now.

But I wanted to talk to you about something.

what is it?

It’s something that I’ve been thinking about for a while now.

And I was trying to find the right time to bring it up to you.

Sun, Aug 1 at 11:36

oh.

oh, i see.

im sorry.

im really sorry.

?

What?

you are breaking up with me, yes?

if i did something wrong please tell me.

i promise i will not do it again.

i will be better.

i want to be better for you.

???

What??

Ilya, I’m not breaking up with you?

What are you talking about?

huh

OH

whoops

hahahahahahaha

im sorry, your text is very serious

i got nervous

maybe overreacted a little

A little…

😞

Ilya.

I am not breaking up with you.

I don’t want you to ever think that.

Is that really how you feel?

Why do you feel like you need to be better for me?

i dont know

sometimes i think maybe i am not good enough for anything

not good enough for you

Ilya.

Stop thinking that.

Please listen to me.

That thought has never even crossed my mind ever since we started dating.

You are more than enough. More than I could ever comprehend.

Sometimes, I still can’t believe how lucky I am to have you in my life.

You are the best partner that I’ve ever had. No one has ever come close to you.

Okay? I’m really sorry I scared you.

Ya tebya lyublyu, Ilya.

я тебя люблю I love you.

Always.


i love you too shane

мой любимыйMy beloved.

okay

im listening now 😁

Good ❤️ You idiot.

Anyway, what I actually wanted to ask you was how you feel about renting out the second bedroom?

oh

hmm

why?

Well, I was thinking about it, and we don’t really use it often.

what about when we talked about turning it into sex dungeon?

you know handcuffs, whips, sex swing, etc.

everything else u are into

We’ve never had that conversation before???

we could now 😇

No.

:(

Anyway.

It would be much cheaper to split the rent between three people.

yes i guess it’s true

but we can pay rent fine?

also it means it will not just be us

are u not happy living only with me 😢

Nooo.

It’s not that.

I’m just thinking that it’s a smart business move.

mr. businessman

Listen.

I talked to the owner of the unit, and after we consulted the strata bylaws and the property manager, our unit can actually accommodate up to four people because of the space.

They said they preferred if only two people rented, but I managed to convince them to consider a third person.

mr. negotiator

Sure.

But imagine what we could do with the extra funds we save from cheaper rent.

For example, it’ll pay for gas since it’s back up to 181.9 now.

shit

you are right

You won’t need to do couponing for the next grocery trip.

fuck yes

keep going

We can upgrade to the premium Netflix subscription.

No ads.

We can get the $1,599 Casper-branded medium firm memory foam mattress we were looking at the other day.

And the 500-thread count silk sheets to match.

oh god

im close

Umm.

sorry i got excited

yes

good plan

we will find roommate

but wait

what if third person is not compatible 😐

or what if they are homophobic

and hate gay people

especially super gay people like you

Okay, first of all, I’m not “super” gay.

I’m regular gay.

And we will obviously not be renting to someone who is not okay with us dating…

We can do a mini interview process.

Also, we could just do it for the semester and see how we like it?

I think it would be good, especially because a lot of exchange students come for just the fall and not the entire school year.

Plus, besides the extra money, we would also have someone helping out with chores and groceries.

that part is very good

less chores 🔥🔥🔥

Lol

So, you wanna try it out?

ahh

if my shane wants to do it, we can try it

Okay.

Thanks for being open to the idea, Ilya.

of course ❤️

We can do it without a condom when you come home 🙂

Delivered

iMessage

ex-roomies 💔👎

Ottawa ON

Sun, Aug 1 at 11:51

we are good btw :)

rose

i am choosing to ignore the second screenshot and instead focus on the fact that shane learned russian for u aweee 🥺🥺🥺

sveta

in perfect cyrillic too oh wow i am impressed

rose

Я тоже говорю по-русски :( I can speak Russian too :(

sveta

i know baby you are perfect and fluent <3

june has passed 🏳️‍🌈✋🛑⛔️

sveta

when u get an STI from all the rawdogging ur doing we’ll see who’s laughing then

😦

rose

LMFAOOOO

iMessage

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Wed, Aug 4 at 13:28

Are you sure you can handle finding someone to rent out the spare room?

yes

dont worry my love ❤️

i will take care of it do not worry

Okay.

Can you also please put it in the off-campus housing FB group too?

Just so it can reach more people.

of course 😘

Thank you ❤️

iMessage

2 Bed 1 Bath - Apartment

$670 / Month

Nearby · 4 km

Message seller image

Description


looking for one student to rent private room in apartment starting september 1. for fall term only.


good location, near uottawa, very nice and expensive apartment.


you will be living with me and my boyfriend. i will not consider you if you have any intentions with my boyfriend (i will be able to tell) (i am VERY hot and wonderful, he is not interested). he is very busy so if you cannot respect his schedule i will also not consider you.


we are chill and you will have fun, but must be okay with some noise. walls are thick but not thick enough. we can be loud sometimes ;)


serious inquires only.

Seller


Seller avatar

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ 4.0 (58)

Joined Facebook in 2022


See All Reviews

Details


Property

Apartment

Rooms

2 Beds · 1 bath

Bathroom

Shared bathroom

Heating

Heating available

Laundry

In-unit laundry

Parking

Street parking

Furnished

Unfurnished

Lease

4-month Lease

Roommates

2 people live here

Balcony

Yes

Cable TV

Yes

Dishwasher

Yes

Fireplace

Yes

Microwave

Yes

Oven

Yes

Refrigerator

Yes

Fitness center

Yes

Secured entry

Yes


See Less


Rental Location


Map image

header

Public group · 34.1K members

Joined

Featured

About

Photos

Events

Files

Albums

Reels

What members are talking about

University of Ottawa Off-Campus Housing

Student Housing

Ottawa Real Estate

University of Ottawa


Write something...

pfp

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov

LOOKING FOR ONE SHORT-TERM ROOMMATE STARTING SEP 1


looking for one student to rent private room in apartment starting september 1. for fall term only.


good location, near uottawa, very nice and expensive apartment.


you will be living with me and my boyfriend. i will not consider you if you have any intentions with my boyfriend (i will be able to tell) (i am VERY hot and wonderful, he is not interested). he is very busy so if you cannot respect his schedule i will also not consider you.


we are chill and you will have fun, but must be okay with some noise. walls are thick but not thick enough. we can be loud sometimes ;)


serious inquires only.

Reactions bar

pfp

Shane Hollander · 3m

ILYA. TAKE THIS DOWN. NOW.

Like · Reply

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov · 3m

why?

Like · Reply

Shane Hollander · 3m

This is extremely inappropriate!?

Like · Reply

J.J. Boiziau · 2m

Est-ce que c'est un appât à rage ? il n'y a même pas de photos de l'appartement LMAOIs this ragebait? There aren’t even any photos of the apartment, LMAO

Like · Reply

pfp

Rosalie Lavoie · 2m

Putain, ce n'est pas le couple sexy de l'équipe masculine de hockey ???Holy shit, is this not the men's hockey team's hot couple???

Like · Reply

Emma Roy · 2m

C'est TOTALEMENT HAHAIt TOTALLY is HAHA

Like · Reply

Felix Bennett · 1m

Merde, pourquoi ai-je signé un bail d'un an avec mon logement actuel ?Shit, why did I sign a one-year lease with my current place?

Like · Reply

Write a comment...

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Wed, Aug 4 at 14:01

ILYA.

?

THAT ABSOLUTELY CANNOT BE THE LISTING DESCRIPTION.

PLEASE TAKE IT DOWN.

NOW.

wdym

it gets to the point yes?

Oh my god.

Half of the images aren’t even of the apartment.

Let me rewrite it.

🙄

can we at least keep one photo of us

it is important future roommate knows who they are living with yes?

...

Fine.

iMessage

2 Bed 1 Bath - Apartment

$670 / Month

Nearby · 4 km

Message seller image

Description


Looking for a short-term roommate (4-month lease maximum, one semester). Preferably another male uOttawa student. Perfect for exchange students!


Available September 1st, 2027. All utilities are included (hydro, water, internet/cable).


One private room in a 2-bedroom apartment. My boyfriend and I share the other bedroom, so there will be three people living in the apartment.


We will be sharing the kitchen, bathroom, and in-unit laundry. Very spacious living room with big windows and lots of natural light, fireplace, shared balcony access, and many building amenities including a lounge with plenty of seating for guests, a workspace, and a well-equipped gym.


We are both very respectful and clean people. We’re quite busy with our own schedules but will always be around to hang out. We like hockey, gaming, hiking, hosting movie and board game nights, and anything fun! :) We’re also full-time parents to two fish named Goldie and Butterscotch.


If you're interested and sound like the right fit, please send me a message with a bit about yourself. Thanks!

Seller


Seller avatar

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ 4.0 (58)

Joined Facebook in 2022


See All Reviews

Details


Property

Apartment

Rooms

2 Beds · 1 bath

Bathroom

Shared bathroom

Heating

Heating available

Laundry

In-unit laundry

Parking

Street parking

Furnished

Unfurnished

Lease

4-month Lease

Roommates

2 people live here

Balcony

Yes

Cable TV

Yes

Dishwasher

Yes

Fireplace

Yes

Microwave

Yes

Oven

Yes

Refrigerator

Yes

Fitness center

Yes

Secured entry

Yes


See Less


Rental Location


Map image

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Wed, Aug 4 at 14:36

Was that picture of you in the pool really necessary…?

And why do you have to be shirtless in both photos?

it is important trust me

weed out competition 😈

This is Facebook Marketplace, Ilya.

this did not stop you from posting sexy gym photo of yourself

IT WASN’T MEANT TO BE A SEXY GYM PHOTO

iMessage

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Wed, Aug 4 at 17:09

oh shit

we are already getting so many messages about room??

do i just reply to everyone?

and what do i say??

You don’t need to reply to everyone, don’t worry.

Especially those who just send the standard “Is this still available?” message.

I say just pick and choose the ones that have a short introduction and who seems like they would be cool.

You can also ask them basic questions if you need to learn more about them.

okay okay

Just let me know if the messages are getting too much!

I can always help, you know.

thank you, but i will do it ❤️

❤️❤️❤️

iMessage

Seller avatar

Scott · 2 Bed 1 Bath - Apartment

★ 4.7 (52)


room

 

Scott · 2 Bed 1 Bath - Apartment
4.7 (52 reviews of Scott)
Joined Facebook in 2012
Marketplace chats and your privacy

 

Scott started this chat. View buyer profile

 

WED 15:11

Hi :) My name is Scott. I’m an incoming exchange student from the US for this fall semester. I am a graduate student and was looking at taking courses in the Human Kinetics with Concentration Sport Management program or any other general Health Sciences courses.

I’m also a big fan of hockey! I played during my undergrad and grew up loving the sport. I think I would be a great fit as a roommate for you and your boyfriend. I love to exercise, cook, and talk about all things sports.

Please let me know if you need any other information from me. Thanks for your time!

 

WED 17:22

Excuse me?
what does this laundry symbol mean?

without googling

I don’t know what it means.

BOOOOOO

🍅🍅🍅

it means DO NOT BLEACH

Okay?

Sorry, I don’t see how this is relevant?

oh it is very relevant

shane does two loads of laundry for his whites every sunday

one with bleach and one without

now hmm... what would happen if u accidentally threw one of his no bleach tshirts in load with bleach?

it would be very inconvenient for shane

do you see the relevance now

mr. scott

I guess...

I promise I’ll learn my laundry symbols?

Could I possibly schedule a viewing?

hmm

possibly

u are going to be grad student at uottawa?

Yeah! I can’t wait

I’ve visited the city plenty of times. It’s absolutely gorgeous

thats nice

how old are u?

since you are grad student

25

GODAMNNNN

FR?

YOU KNOW THEM? 😭😭​​😭

Seen

WED 17:29

soo do you still want to schedule viewing?

Couldn’t send.

DID U BLOCK ME HELLO

Couldn’t send.

Seller avatar

Kip · 2 Bed 1 Bath - Apartment

★ 4.9 (14)


room

 

Kip · 2 Bed 1 Bath - Apartment
4.9 (14 reviews of Kip)
Joined Facebook in 2019
Marketplace chats and your privacy

 

Kip started this chat. View buyer profile

 

SUN 10:21

Hey! I’m gonna be a visiting research student at uOttawa for a term for my Master’s. Would love to get to know you more to see if I could be the right fit for you and your boyfriend’s space!

 

SUN 10:45

hi thank you for inquiring

when are you moving? do you already have job?

I’m planning on being there around a few days before September if that works.

I work full-time at a smoothie shop rn, so I would probably look for similar jobs there

ooo you make smoothies?

very healthy shane will like

Haha yess!

Just made this one for myself!

oh!

thats

nice 😀

Thanks 😄

sure

anyway

i have few more questions if thats ok

For sure

based on this photo can you tell me which avocado has best ripeness

Uhhh

The third one?

WRONG

🚨🚨🚨

Oh sorry 😭

next question

There’s more?

which brand of vegetable broth does shane prefer

365 or pacific foods

Is Shane your boyfriend?

I... I genuinely don’t know how to answer that question...

duh

it’s 365

reduced sodium

common knowledge?

I don’t think that is?

hmm

sorry i dont think you will be good fit

???

Seller avatar

Sasha · 2 Bed 1 Bath - Apartment

★ 3.9 (7)


room

 

Sasha · 2 Bed 1 Bath - Apartment
3.9 (7 reviews of Sasha)
Joined Facebook in 2025
Marketplace chats and your privacy

 

Sasha started this chat. View buyer profile

 

MON 03:08

Hey ;)

 

MON 09:56

no

Seen

Seller avatar

Carter · 2 Bed 1 Bath - Apartment

★ 4.6 (14)


room

 

Carter · 2 Bed 1 Bath - Apartment
4.6 (14 reviews of Carter)
Joined Facebook in 2018
Marketplace chats and your privacy

 

Carter started this chat. View buyer profile

 

FRI 20:04

Hey man I think you and your boyfriend are really cool. I love gaming, I love sports, I love gay people, so I think we’d be a great match, let me know if I can schedule a viewing at all

FRI 20:26

sorry you love gay people?

Hell yeah man I’m a proud ally 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

Especially with you guys being an openly queer couple on a sports team for a sport with a culture that’s historically been an unwelcoming space for the LGBTQIA+ community

That’s brave as fuck

oh

thanks!

we will think of your allyship when we are having our progressive gay sex

Hahahahaha you got jokes

Could I schedule a viewing? Would love to get to know you both more

for sure

i just have one question for you

Yeah!

how do you sort your laundry?

and what settings do you use for each load

Uhh wdym

like

do u sort by colour

by fabric weight? by soil level?

do you do regular spin cycle with cold water? hot water?

delicate? wrinkle control?

do you use fabric softener or dryer sheets?

which fabrics do u hang to dry?

I mean

I kinda just throw everything into my laundry hamper and wash it all in one pile when it gets full

Then toss all of that in the dryer at the highest setting so it dries the quickest

😨

im sorry thats extremely homophobic

Seen

Seller avatar

Connor · 2 Bed 1 Bath - Apartment

★ 5.0 (92)


room

 

Connor · 2 Bed 1 Bath - Apartment
5.0 (92 reviews of Connor)
Joined Facebook in 2021
Marketplace chats and your privacy

 

Connor started this chat. View buyer profile

 

TUE 15:59

Yoo, we lowkey look like each other

 

TUE 17:32

what

That’s me

holy shit

no way

This is kinda freaky

We literally look EXACTLY like each other

well

hold on now

my boyfriend took this photo of me in locker room

this was for photoshoot i had to do with my boyfriend

more from photoshoot i had to do with my boyfriend

i think there are still significant physical differences between us

also sorry room is suddenly not available anymore

boyfriend said we dont need third person

😭😭😭

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Wed, Aug 11 at 12:17

Hi ❤️

Just noticed it’s been a week since we put up the listing for the spare room.

No one wanted to schedule a viewing yet?

Especially since you said a lot of people were interested.

hi my love

no im sorry :(

none of the people i was talking to were the right fit yet

i was asking them basic questions and they were not giving very good answers

Aw, I see.

That’s okay I guess 🙂

Thank you again for replying to everyone.

of course <3

Wed, Aug 11 at 12:39

ILYA.

ILYA ROZANOV.

ILYA GRIGORYEVICH ROZANOV.

uh oh

i am in trouble...?

WHY DO YOU HAVE A 1-STAR RATING ON MARKETPLACE FROM OVER 50 REVIEWS OF JUST THE ROOM LISTING!?

noooo listen

people on internet are so mean nowadays shane

they always take things out of proportion

“Very rude interaction. Asked irrelevant questions and then proceeded to make fun of my age using a dinosaur GIF. Blocked.”

“he was kinda funny, just don’t think he even wants a roommate tbh”

“Who the fuck is Shane?”

“DO NOT RENT HERE unless you want to argue over milk alternatives for forty minutes.”

“i think his boyfriend has him on a tight ass leash on him what was thattt 💀💀💀”

“I have never in my life met someone more hostile about the ripeness of avocados.”

“this guy has GOT to be a gemini with this attitude... 😭”

This was not even half of what the reviews were saying.

What are you saying to these people!?

lmao i am a gemini

Ilya.

okay okay

look

maybe i was a little

forward

with my messages

but shane i promise

you do not want any of these people as roommate

And why is that, Ilya?

How do you even know that?

Seems like you’re not even giving them the CHANCE without tormenting them first.

What the fuck?

I trusted you with this ONE thing.

Could you not even do that?

...

huh.

ok

fine

fuck you shane

Fuck you.

no

i am serious.

fuck you

fuck you because i do it all

i do everything for you

i dont even want third roommate

i dont even really care about extra money

i do this because i am so fucking in love with you

and if third roommate is what makes u happy then i am willing to try

but fuck shane

fine whatever

yes maybe i come across as asshole to these people

maybe i am just an asshole

asshole who is too stubborn and picky

but these people do not know

they do not know you like to do your yoga at 6:30 in the morning before classes

they do not know that if the weather is nice you will do it on balcony instead of living room

they do not know that you like to wash your lights on sundays because you do two loads

one with bleach and one without

they do not know what specific brands of groceries you like

all the items that you have on your list for your diet

they do not know to run the dishwasher only after 8 pm because it is cheaper on water bill

they do not know that you wipe the kitchen counters over and over again when you are nervous before a game

or that you rearrange the fridge in particular way when you are upset

that you put milk in the back when you pretend nothing is wrong

that you organize condiments by expiry date instead of colour when you are angry and trying not to yell

that you purposely dont transfer your leftovers into a plastic container before putting them away when you are sad but dont want to tell me

these people dont know and they dont care to know

and maybe i am being selfish

but i dont want them to know

i dont want them to pick up on your little habits

i dont care if i have to use coupons for the rest of my life

or if a stupid ad pops up in the middle of emotional scene of movie

or if bed we sleep on feels like brick most nights

i dont care because it is the life that i have built with you

i could not ask for anything to be different

so yeah

fuck you shane

sorry i couldnt do this one thing for you

Oh.

Ilya...

what

Ilya.

Fuck.

I’m sorry.

sure

No. I’m serious.

I am so sorry.

I love our home how it is.

I love how we have made it ours.

I love you so much.

I am so, so sorry that I’m the asshole for making you feel any different.

I just wanted something better for us.

I know we’re not struggling, or whatever.

And we’re lucky to be in our situation.

But, I don’t know.

Maybe I’m too ambitious.

Maybe I got too caught up in my head that all the little things you’ve mentioned have started to get annoying.

Fuck, this was such a mistake.

I’m so sorry, Ilya. I fucked up.

shane

it’s okay

It’s not.

no, it is

hm

honestly, i dont even really care

about roommate thing

i think i was just getting sad thinking that you thought i wasnt good enough anymore

Oh, Ilya.

No, I’m the one that fucked up. I can’t believe I said what I did.

Even after you expressed similar feelings before already...

Please know that has never and will never be true.

You are too good for me, in fact.

Fuck, I love and appreciate you so much, Ilya.

I really do.

I’m really sorry if I don’t say it enough.

lol what is this? who is more in love competition?

Shut up.

you are already better than me at hockey

let me have this one, shane

... Fine.

good

i win

and i love you too

Delivered

iMessage

shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ottawa ON

Wed, Aug 11 at 13:12

you made us both sad btw

Noo, please don’t say that! 😭

hahahaha

oh yeah

btw

owner said that he is part of litter that they are putting up for adoption

so like

😈😈😈

Ilya...

“I’m really sorry if I don’t say it enough.”

so i just thought of the perfect way you can show your love enough :)

Oh my god.

iMessage

2 Bed 1 Bath - Apartment

$670 / Month

Nearby · 4 km

Message seller image

Description


Looking for a short-term roommate (4-month lease maximum, one semester). Preferably another male uOttawa student. Perfect for exchange students!


Available September 1st, 2027. All utilities are included (hydro, water, internet/cable).


One private room in a 2-bedroom apartment. My boyfriend and I share the other bedroom, so there will be three people living in the apartment.


We will be sharing the kitchen, bathroom, and in-unit laundry. Very spacious living room with big windows and lots of natural light, fireplace, shared balcony access, and many building amenities including a lounge with plenty of seating for guests, a workspace, and a well-equipped gym.


We are both very respectful and clean people. We’re quite busy with our own schedules but will always be around to hang out. We like hockey, gaming, hiking, hosting movie and board game nights, and anything fun! :) We’re also full-time parents to two fish named Goldie and Butterscotch.


If you're interested and sound like the right fit, please send me a message with a bit about yourself. Thanks!

Seller


Seller avatar

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ 1.0 (122)

Joined Facebook in 2022


See All Reviews

Details


Property

Apartment

Rooms

2 Beds · 1 bath

Bathroom

Shared bathroom

Heating

Heating available

Laundry

In-unit laundry

Parking

Street parking

Furnished

Unfurnished

Lease

4-month Lease

Roommates

2 people live here

Balcony

Yes

Cable TV

Yes

Dishwasher

Yes

Fireplace

Yes

Microwave

Yes

Oven

Yes

Refrigerator

Yes

Fitness center

Yes

Secured entry

Yes


See Less


Rental Location


Map image


This listing is no longer available


The seller may have removed the listing, marked it as sold, or the listing may have expired.


Browse Marketplace

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov and I have successfully found our third roommate ❤️👨‍👨‍👦🐾

Reactions bar

pfp

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov · 4m

fifth technically we cant forget about our other children shane

Like · Reply

Shane Hollander · 4m

Yes. We still love Goldie and Butterscotch very much.

Like · Reply

pfp

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov · 3m

hes lucky he is cute bc he doesnt even pay rent :/

Like · Reply

pfp

Hayden Pike · 3m

I thought you weren’t allowed to have pets in your apartment??

Like · Reply

Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov · 3m

snitches get stitches

Like · Reply

Shane Hollander · 2m

We paid a very, very expensive pet deposit.

Like · Reply

Write a comment...

Mama

Sat, Aug 14 at 00:16

Привет, мама. Hi Mama.

!

Not Delivered

Извини, что давно с тобой не общался. Sorry I haven’t talked to you in awhile.

!

Not Delivered

Хотя ты, наверное, скажешь, что так даже лучше. Although you would probably tell me that’s for the best.

!

Not Delivered

Да, у меня до сих пор сохранился твой номер телефона, даже спустя столько лет. Yes, I still have your number after all these years.

!

Not Delivered

Мама. Mama.

!

Not Delivered

Я встретил кое-кого. I met someone.

!

Not Delivered

Я обещал тебе, что ты будешь первой, кому я расскажу, как только найду свою вторую половинку. I promised you that you would be the first person I would tell once I have found my soulmate.

!

Not Delivered

Я так сильно люблю его. I love him so much.

!

Not Delivered

Его зовут Шейн. His name is Shane.

!

Not Delivered

Shane

!

Not Delivered

Спасибо, что послала его мне. Thank you for sending him to me.

!

Not Delivered

Спасибо за то, что мы смогли встретиться в этой жизни. Thank you for letting us find each other in this lifetime.

!

Not Delivered

Мама. Mama.

!

Not Delivered

Однажды я выйду замуж за Шейна. Я в этом уверен. One day, I will marry Shane. I am sure of it.

!

Not Delivered

Я выйду за него замуж и никогда не вернусь в Россию. I will marry him and I will never go back to Russia.

!

Not Delivered

Там для меня больше ничего не осталось. There is nothing left for me there anymore.

!

Not Delivered

Любовь, которую я когда-то испытывал к нашему родному городу, умерла в тот же день, что и ты. The love I once held for our hometown died the same day you did.

!

Not Delivered

Когда это произойдет, я больше никогда не смогу тебя увидеть. I will never be able to see you again when this happens.

!

Not Delivered

Надеюсь, ты меня простишь, мама. I hope you forgive me, Mama.

!

Not Delivered

Пожалуйста, присмотри за Шейном и мной. Please watch over Shane and I.

!

Not Delivered

В конце концов, я хочу, чтобы ты с ним как-нибудь познакомилась. After all, I want you to meet him somehow.

!

Not Delivered

Я люблю тебя, мама. I love you, Mama.

!

Not Delivered

Всегда. Always.

!

Not Delivered

iMessage

Notes:

shane and ilya don’t have the premium netflix subscription but will spend $262 on sex toys i can respect the hustle ig

 

credit to user Pillichurl on twitter for the suspicious-looking smile cookie

base code used:
facebook messenger chat
imessage skin
whatsapp skin
facebook post work skin
instagram post work skin

a continued big thank you to all the og creators and to you all for reading <3

edit (5/30): thank you for all the sweet comments already omg :( i am trying to reply to everyone because you are all so wonderful, but just know that i read all of them and i appreciate you all so much <3

Series this work belongs to: