Work Text:
r/confessions
u/mirkat . 6 mo
I like girls
Hi… I’ve never been on reddit but I have so much stuff I can’t say out loud. Maybe this place will listen cause no one else does.
I’m fifteen. I’m a girl. I like girls. Like, like-like. I’ve never said that out loud.
I realized it last year when I was hanging out with one of my friends. The sun was out and she just looked so pretty. We stopped being friends after I tried to tell her I liked her, so I haven’t told any ever since. My parents already don’t like me, I’m a “problem child.” Whatever that means. I thought I could ignore it and just focus on school and dance, but now there’s another girl I think I like. I want my brain to leave me alone. We met at a TWICE concert and I haven’t stopped thinking about her. She’s so pretty, I just want to smash her face in. I can never be with her though. My parents have already been looking for a nice (or not so nice) chaebol boy for me to settle down with, marry within my class y'know? I think that’s bullshit. I bet they wouldn’t even notice if I ran off.
---
r/advice
u/mirkat . 6 mo
Best tips to run away?
If anyone tells me not to, I will block you. Serious advice ONLY. I (15F) decided I’m running away. If my parents don’t want to respect me then I shouldn’t have to stay under their roof. I’m old enough to make choices for myself.
I think I’m going to take the train out as far as I can, but after that I don’t know. Anywhere is better than here. What are the essentials to survive for a few weeks until I can find a couch to sleep on or something like that?
Edit: so people stop fucking asking, I’m leaving cause my asshole father busted my fucking lip. Happy???
---
r/advice
u/mirkat . 5 mo
UPDATE! I didn’t have to run away after all
Okay so, update time I guess? It’s been a crazy few weeks. Read my original post for more context.
I packed my bags to run away. Nobody in my house even noticed. My last night at home, I got a DM from someone who works for a kpop training program. It kinda felt like a scam at first but I asked a lot of questions and apparently she wasn’t put off by my aggression. She said she saw my dance videos on tiktok and that she wanted me to come join her program! I said yes (obviously), and then she told me that her niece recommended me.
I tricked my parents into signing the consent form that lets me live in the trainee house. They think I’m going to a prestigious summer tutoring boarding program and didn’t pay enough attention to notice anything else.
I got here a few days ago. Turns out, this is a VERY small operation, and I’m literally just living in her house. It’s really small, but kinda cozy. Pretty different from the prison I grew up in. Anyway. She’s a former idol who has her own company now and is trying to make a group that will escape the toxicity of the industry or something like that, I was only half listening. She told me she wants three girls, but she’s still scouting for the third, so it’s just me and her niece right now.
It gets crazier though, I told you it would. Her niece is the girl I met at the concert……………. I'm so screwed, like astronomically cooked. Deep fried if you will. It’s not looking good. I have to figure out how to get over her so I don’t get kicked out of this program. I CAN’T go home.
Luckily I’m a better dancer than her, but my vocals need work. Send help.
---
r/AmIOverreacting
u/mirkat . 5 mo
AIO? I’ve never been so suffocated
So… idk I feel kinda weird posting this but I also feel weird all the time now. Fuck it, it’s not like I can talk to anyone else.
I (15F) have been living in this “trainee house.” Basically I’m just living with a girl (16F, I’ll call her by her initial: R) and her eemo. We spend most of our days training. We have a pretty strict schedule to prepare us for idol life. We work out, we do dance practices, we have vocal lessons, we sing while running on treadmills, etc. It’s a lot of work but I think I enjoy it.
The suffocating part comes when we’re not working. Her eemo forces me to come to the table for dinner. I don’t like any of the food she serves. It feels bad in my mouth. I don’t like carbs.
I can’t get a second of peace. I try to just stay in my room but R is always knocking at my door. I keep yelling at her to go away but she keeps coming back. She looks at me like I’m something special. I’m not.
They’re both always asking me what I want, what I think, how I feel. Aggravating is the only word I know to describe it. I don’t know what they know, but I don’t need their pity. AIO?
Edit: “eemo” is the Korean word for “maternal aunt.” You all have google.
---
r/tifu
u/mirkat . 4 mo
Today I (15F) fucked up and drank so much soju
I know I fucked up. I know I fucked up so bad! I just need to talk about it somewhere I won’t get that stupid kicked puppy response. Last night my brother (18M) texted me (15F). I don’t live at home right now, see my other posts for background if you care. He said “stop being such a brat and just apologize to them.” There is no world where I ever apologize to my parents. I hope he’s fucking sorry when they light him on fire to keep themselves warm. I hope the inheritance is worth it.
The first thing I did was throw my phone at the wall. Then I snuck out of my room and into the study. We’re not allowed to go in the study, but the liquor cabinet is in the study. It was painfully easy to pick it open, all I needed was a hairpin. Fucking amatuers. R (16F) is too much of a goody two shoes, but I’m not. I grabbed the first bottle I saw and just drank until everything was numb. I don’t remember a lot after that.
I remember feeling sick at some point in the night. I think I made it to the toilet, cause I remember R holding my hair. Maybe she said things but it all sounded underwater and my head still hurts. She must have gone and got her eemo cause they BOTH walked me back to bed. I ruined their fucking nights.
I woke up at some point in the morning and her eemo was forcing me to drink water. She told me to rest and said I didn’t have to train today. I went back to sleep. She kept checking on me throughout the day. I don’t know why she’s being nice to me. I guess she put too much resources into me to scrap two months of training. She shouldn’t have. I wish she would act like Mother. Just make me tough it out like I deserve.
R kept sneaking into my room all day. She braided my hair back, probably to make herself feel useful. At least it was practical. I hate how good she is at it.
I’m writing this during dinner cause I’m skipping. I still feel awful. I’ll probably do it again.
---
r/amitheasshole
u/mirkat . 4 mo
AITA for dying my hair and staining the bathroom pink ON ACCIDENT???
Everyone is being so damn dramatic about this. I think I’ve never looked hotter.
I will back up. I (15F) decided I was sick of looking like my mother. The girl I’m living with (R, 16F) has cool purple hair, so I decided I want colored hair too. I went to the drugstore and bought a few bottles of the only dye they had and the cheapest hair bleach with my pocket change. It’s bright pink, like hot hot pink. I locked myself in the hall bathroom after lights out last night and just went to town.
I didn’t really know what I was doing, but I managed to lift my hair enough to get it to this weird yellowish shade. I’m not the brightest but I do kinda know color theory. I took my bottle of shampoo and put a few drops of R’s hair dye in it and then scrubbed the hell out of my hair. It got enough of the yellow gone that I was comfortable saying fuck it and threw the pink on. I’m such a GENIUS!!!
My hair is really long, so I used a LOT of dye. It kinda got everywhere. I wasn’t using gloves so it stained my hands and arms, but also the counter, the bath tub, the sink, everything. I tried to scrub it up a little bit but it didn’t budge. My hair is hot pink though! I was a little worried it would turn orange but the homebrew purple shampoo worked. I think I look great. R said it was pretty. Her eemo was NOT happy however.
When she found the mess, she came into my room and pulled me out of bed. She chewed me out for a while. Said stuff like “you caused a lot more trouble for yourself” and “you ruined your hair with that bleach.” I told her to fuck off if she doesn’t like it, and she washed my mouth out with soap before making me clean the bathroom until the stains came out. I was at it for hours. I expected her to chop my hair off or something. Maybe that’s the next punishment.
I’m staying in my room for the foreseeable future to avoid them. I'm probably going to get kicked out and sent back to my parents. I’m so disrespected anywhere I go. Fuck my parents, fuck R and her pretty face, and fuck her cunt eemo. It’s cool when R dyes her hair but when I do it I'm a whore. Bullshit double standards. AITA?
---
r/advice
u/mirkat . 4 mo
UPDATE! I am over her
So that girl I talked about having a crush on? The girl I’m living with? The girl who won’t stop barging into my room like a clingy dog? I’m over her. 100% completely over her.
We got into a fight in dance rehearsal the other day. Her lines weren’t straight enough. I don’t get why she can’t just do it right!! She complained that I was being too hard on her. She had a real “what authority do you have over me when I’ve been training my whole life??” tone. I told her she needs to toughen up to be an idol. She said people won’t like me unless I fix my attitude. I stormed out of practice. Fuck her. Fuck her and her stupid perfect A5 high note.
Her eemo made me run extra laps around the yard while singing as punishment. I did it as flatly as I could.
---
r/advice
u/mirkat . 2 mo
UPDATE! I am not over her at all
Long time no post… it’s been kinda quiet around here. But I realized yesterday during training that her abs are SO nice and now I’m losing my mind!!
She came into my room and told me goodnight with the sweetest fucking smile and she gave me the last of her candy cause she knows the grape ones are the only 마이쮸 I’ll eat. I don’t know why she’s being so nice. I don’t know what she wants. I’m a little scared of her if I’m being honest.
She went off on a choreographer for touching me. I want her to shove me against the wall. She helped me touch up my roots too! I want to have her babies.
---
r/NoStupidQuestions
u/mirkat . 2 mo
Is it illegal to change your name and flee the country?
Hi, I'm 15F and based in South Korea if that helps. Need to escape the pretty girl and her big brown eyes who I sleep down the hall from. Thanks!
---
r/socialskills
u/mirkat . 2 mo
How to tell if a girl likes me back?
I know I’m being delusional. You can throw cold water on me in the comments. I’m (15F) and have a huge crush on the girl I live with (16F). I’ve been trying to do everything to avoid letting her know, but she just keeps throwing herself at me. She’s SO nice it physically hurts. I don’t understand why anyone would be that nice. She always wants to play with my hair and cook food with me and she made a CD with all my favorite songs on it for me to practice choreographing to. I can’t tell if she actually likes me back or if she’s just a sheltered homeschool friend who has never been around someone her own age. Help.
---
r/tifu
u/mirkat . 1 mo
TIFU and now I have to run away
I AM SO STUPID!! I’m writing this from the forest. I found a nice little clearing to lay in the grass, since I clearly need to touch it after today. Tomorrow I will take the train back to the city and become a homeless living at the station. Maybe I will sing for tips. I’m sure it would be better than seeing her again.
I don’t know why I decided it would be a bright idea to try to confess my feelings to her. I had it all planned out. I waited until after lights out and then I went to her room. She let me in immediately. We sat on her bed with only the lamp for lighting. She was making a pinterest board. She showed me all her ideas for the costumes she wants to wear when we’re famous idols. I feel a little bad that she’s gonna need a new main dancer now for her group.
When the conversation trailed off, I went to say it. I really did. “I think I’m in love with you.” That’s what I was going to say. That’s ALL I was going to say. I put my hand on her leg. Her skin is always so soft and warm. But then none of the words I meant to say came out of my mouth. I’m not even fully sure what I did say, it was just gibberish. I got up and ran out of the room. I barely made it back to my bed before I started having a panic attack. I was back in my parents house all of a sudden and I could taste the blood again. Everything was fuzzy for hours. It still kind of is.
So yeah. I packed my backpack and now I’m in the woods. Remind me to never look at a girl again.
---
r/NoStupidQuestions
u/mirkat . 1 mo
What berries are safe to eat in Seogwipo Forest?
What it says on the tin.
---
r/advice
u/mirkat . 1 mo
UPDATE! I am back at home (with the girl down the hall)
Her eemo found me and dragged me home… I expected her to yell at me but she really just told me not to do it again. She stopped on the way home and let me pick what I wanted from the grocery store. 비빔밥 tastes better than the berries.
R was waiting when we got home. She looked so worried. I never want to see her like that again. I went to hide in my room and she followed me after a second. I didn’t want her to come in but I couldn’t tell her no and see her look so upset again. She sat on the bed with me in silence. For like, a really really long time. It was kind of uncomfortable at a certain point. Then she left without saying anything.
I’m writing this from the dance studio we have downstairs. My pointe shoes are almost dead but I like them that way. It feels nice to bleed into them. R can’t get her leg behind her head. I’ll always have that on her.
---
r/vent
u/mirkat . 28d
Her eemo knows I like her
New to this sub! But oh my god I need to whine. I am having such a bad day.
I (15F) fell and rolled my ankle in dance practice. My crush (R, 16F) saw me do it. She rushed over to me and started doting on me, helping me sit up and checking to make sure my foot wasn’t broken and shit. Domestic nonsense that made my stomach hurt. Her hands are so warm.
Her eemo must have been watching more than I thought she was, because once I was sitting on the couch with ice on my foot and R left to go do something else, she cornered me. I couldn’t run away, I was stuck and had to just listen to her lecture. She told me straight up that she knows I like R. She explained at length what I already knew: dating is frowned upon for idols and I’m asking for a world of hurt by letting my feelings cloud my focus.
I didn’t know what to say, so I kinda just sat there like an idiot. There was something unspoken about the lecture and I know exactly what it was: liking girls might just be worse than dating someone. I don’t know what to do anymore. I really don’t. I’m just going to try to push it down and ignore my feelings again. That worked for a few months last time. I’m fine. It’s all going fine. She doesn’t like me back anyway.
Edit: The day just got so much worse!!!! My brother texted and said he knows I lied about the “boarding school”. FUCK HIM SO FUCKING MUCH!!! It’s only a matter of time before they come knocking now… I’m so screwed. I'm going to fucking sleep. I hope this is all a bad dream.
---
r/confession
u/mirkat . 17d
I saw her scars and she doesn’t know
I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know she was in the bathroom changing. The door was only cracked. I was just gonna fix my hair.
When I (15F) pushed open the door, R (16F) wasn’t wearing a shirt. She was in the process of changing, and I didn’t see much, but I did see that her body was covered in scars. They looked old, but they spread like patterned vines all over her upper body. Today it occurred to me that I’ve never seen her without sleeves that were at least to her elbows. She wears crop tops but never lets me see her shoulders. I backed out of the room as fast as I could and I don’t think she saw me.
I can’t stop thinking about what I saw. She’s always been so open with me… I want to confront her. I want to comfort her. I don't know how.
---
r/vent
u/mirkat . 5d
I hate my parents I hate my parents I hate my parents
SOMEONE SEDATE ME!!!!
Okay so. This is probably gonna be really scatterbrained bc I’m shaking really bad and I’m kinda spiralling idk it’s fine i’m fine! But really long story short is MY PARENTS SHOWED UP AT THE TRAINEE HOUSE CAUSE I LIED ABOUT WHERE I WAS GOING AND NOW ITS BEEN LIKE SIX MONTHS SINCE I LEFT AND THEY FINALLY REALIZED THAT WASN’T RIGHT FOR A ‘SUMMER PROGRAM’. WHICH IS SUCH BULLSHIT!!!
It’s all my brother’s fault, I just know it. I bet like, all the won in the country that he pointed out I had been gone too long. I don’t know how they tracked me down. But they showed up. All three of them!! And they got into a big fight with eemo. She told me and R to go to our rooms but we didn’t want to. We just hid in the hallway and listened. It was bad, all of it was so bad. I’m trying not to relive it but I just keep reliving it.
Money was exchanged. That’s all I really know. They fucking traded me for the cost of my brother’s first car.
I’m hiding in my room now. I keep crying on and off. It doesn’t feel real. None of it feels real. Eemo brought me tea but I feel sick.
---
r/relationships
u/ruminating . 5d
i (16f) finally told her (15f) i love her (and you’ll never guess what she did next!)
i’ll start by saying that it didn’t go the way i had planned at all. i thought it would be way more romantic and a lot less… snotty. literally. i imagined a picnic in the forest or late at night in bed under string lights or just… anything soft and sweet. which i guess it was! it was just unexpected.
we had a hard night. i won’t get into her business here but she’s been hiding in her room all night. i decided i was gonna go lay with her, i just needed to make sure she was okay. and she didn’t push me out!!!!!!! we sat in bed and watched the new season of xo kitty. eventually i leaned over and laid against her arm. testing the waters. she’s so comfortable. eemo says she’s too skinny and burns every calorie she gets in, but i like her at whatever size she wants to be.
i don’t know what came over me, but all of a sudden i just felt super super sad. like, i’m just soooooooo unworthy of her affection. i don’t understand how she could stand to be around me!!! i started crying against my will. like a dumb baby.
she hugged me immediately. she does that so rarely, she’s always afraid of touching me. but this time she just held me and I cried into her hoodie. there was some back and forth, some comforting words. i finally forced myself to look up at her, and we locked eyes, and then she kissed me. SHE kissed ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think the first thing i said was “i love you” but she said it at the exact same time. we started laughing and we didn’t stop for a long time. i felt her hand go up under my shirt and start tracing my scars. i froze and almost started crying again, but she only smiled. she said i was prettier with the patterns. she called them patterns! god i could burst.