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to trade a hamster for a cat

Summary:

Pets are a carbon copy of their owners, well please thank animal communicators Zhang Hao and Gyuvin—two of a kind pet shop owners who match pets to their perfect human. Gyuvin works with countless of cats a day, but as fate would have it, when he falls in love it's with the most perfect ragdoll cat from Hao's pet shop instead.

Unfortunately, Hao is only willing to let him go at the high price of... a hamster??

Notes:

All ot9 zb1 members are present in some form, have fun spotting them!

[Disclaimer: Please do NOT feed your cat strawberries, 𝓡𝓲𝓬𝓴𝔂 is an exception]

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“You’re sure my son should have a snake?”

The lady is eyeing the python wrapped around her son’s arms.

“Of course, you can trust my expertise.”

What Hao means to say is: Trust me, they have matching snarky personalities.

He’s dedicated his whole life to this matchmaking, no one else has the gift to do so. Okay well, except—

“Kim Gyuvin?”

The door rattles a little with the careless force thrown at it when the tall figure strides in.

“Zhang Hao, you’re the worst!”

The lady hurriedly ushers her son out, as if the accusation was proof enough that Hao was trying to endanger her son’s life all along.

“What?” That idiot had just made him lose a customer.

“The bear and the fox,” Gyuvin cries out in exasperation. “You sent them to me because you knew I wouldn’t be able to turn them away!”

Hao has to bite his cheek to stop the smile from blooming across his face.

“And how did that go?”

“They made a den in my basement and I hear them. Every. Single. Night.

Exactly Hao’s prediction then, there are only two unfaillable things about his rival: his insufferableness and his kindness.

“What do I do?” Gyuvin moans.

“Hmm?” The drawling mumble is from a handsome ragdoll cat, sleepy eyes pulled open by the chaotic commotion whose name was Kim Gyuvin.

Gyuvin turns his attention to the cat, unlatching the cage before Hao can stop him.

Not that Hao was going to anyway. This will be interesting for him to watch, because that cat is untouchable, he wouldn’t let Hao touch a single strand of fur.

“Sorry kitty, did I wake you up?” A hand strokes, long and gentle down the length of luxurious fur. A couple of beats pass, but the cat only blinks blurredly.

“Who are you?” He meows.

“Hey, Ricky!” Hao scowls, feeling betrayed.

“Hi Ricky,” Gyuvin smiles his megawatt smile at the kitten. “I’m Gyuvin.”

His fingers don’t stop threading through fur, and Ricky leans deeper into the touch, purrs sounding like an engine roaring alive.

“Your fur is all messed up.”

Ricky only gives a half-hearted nip at Gyuvin’s hand in response to Hao’s taunt, which makes Gyuvin giggle.

“Okay, that’s enough, out.”

“Let me help you take this one off your hands.” Gyuvin is already princess-carrying the damn cat in his arms.

“Nope, he’s mine.”

“I’ll buy him!”

“No.”

Hao feels the gratification of denying Gyuvin’s plea, both that time and the fifty times after that Gyuvin begs him to have Ricky.

------------------------------------------–𐂯–------------------------------------------

“Are you finally giving me to Qubing?”

Hao is outside Gyuvin’s shop, an annoyingly uncanny mirror to his own. Ricky is in a carrier, as per Gyuvin’s request to “bring that gorgeous kitty along”.

“Why are you so excited for me to sell you away?” Hao sighs. It would have been the rational thing to do, he could have extorted as much money as he wanted, given that Gyuvin’s business was blooming. In fact, a customer had just walked out, almost in tears at how perfect his pet was as his duck gnawed his hand, beak latched on his fingers in an almost painful way.

“Quack quack.”

Translation: “I bite Jiwoong :)”

See, that’s cute isn’t it? And weirdly enough, that’s why Hao refuses to sell Ricky, he wants it too. Okay maybe not a biting duck, but some kind of company. Ricky had been at his shop for ages because no one wanted an un-pettable cat, and Hao hates to admit it, but he'd miss that furball.

“Qubing is… nice.”

It’s a low, content rumble of a purr.

“And you’ll be happy?”

“Mmmm, of course.”

There's an excited shriek before he can answer.

“Rikkkk!”

Gyuvin is pouring liberal amounts of strawberry kibble onto a fancy-looking plate. Hao doesn’t bother questioning how Gyuvin knows Ricky’s dietary preference, just like how he didn’t question that time Ricky said he felt like being blonde and miraculously had a failed dye job the next day, or how Ricky’s claws were always carefully groomed, cut and somehow painted.

That kitty has a grown man wrapped around the tiny beans of his paw.

“Hao-ssi~” Gyuvin finally straightens up and faces Hao. Honorifics, Gyuvin has reached a new level of desperation.

“Please, just give him the cat so I don’t have to hear him whine about missing his kitty all the time.”

It takes Hao a moment to locate where the squeak comes from. It’s a baby cottontail bunny, barely the size of his palm.

“Is this your new idea, getting the bunny to beg for you?”

“Ignore Yujin, I don’t whine,” Gyuvin pulls a face at the bunny. “And actually, I have a trade offer for you.”

He uncups his hand like offering a sacrifice. A furried face peeks out, framed by a creamy, marshmallow-like soft coat. One look, and it's Haover.

“Hi, I’m Hambin.” The high-pitched squeak is adorably singsongy.

Gyuvin smiles proudly. “Look at that face! How could you say no?”

The hamster nods enthusiastically. “I go well with Hao-ssi!”

Then he reaches into his puffy cheek and pulls out a piece of durian, offering it to Hao. “I don’t like durian but for my Hao-ssi, I will try.”

“What? How did you…”

“I visit you everyday, when Gyuvin-ssi visits his Ricky!”

Those perfectly round eyes must have been spying on Hao for months now, then.

“So, trade?”

“I‐” It's a pretty darn cute and polite hamster, his heart is begging him to accept. “Fine.”

“DID YOU HEAR THAT!” Gyuvin screams into Ricky’s ears, hoisting him up in the air.

“Good luck with him,” Hao tells Ricky.

“Oh, you too,” Ricky nods at the hamster who is already staring up at Hao with adoring eyes as he climbs onto his palm to be hand-carried home.

“You know,” Gyuvin smiles. “I’ve been matching pets for years and this is the best match I’ve seen.”

For there was never a better match than Gyuvin with his kitty and Hao with his hamster.

Notes:

It's canon that gyub ends up finding fox-bear hybrids in his basement 9 months later