Archive of Our Own

Ever since the big D-BATTLE, Nanaki has noticed that his number of secret admirers has gone up.

As one of the hottest guys in Asunaro High (everyone else’s words, not his), Nanaki has gotten used to having eyes on him throughout the school day. People behind him in class, other members of his club, even juniors who pass by him in the corridor. The girl with the pigtails who recently confessed to him had been one of these people. He doesn’t mean to sound arrogant or anything, but it’s easy to notice once you’re used to it. His D-BATTLE with Ushio has only boosted his popularity, leading to more attention on him than ever.

Which is why he’s currently bracing himself to receive another one of these confessions. One of his classmates, a soft-spoken girl named… Minamoto, he thinks, has been watching him this past week. She’s cute, sure, but just like every other person who confesses to him, he’s never spoken to her before. The last time he rejected someone, he, uh, well… it didn’t exactly end well, what with the D-BATTLE and all. In all honesty, he had been somewhat harsh back then. So this time, he’ll choose his words more carefully.

The bell signalling the end of the day has just rung when Minamoto finally approaches him, clutching a heart-adorned letter. “U-Um, Nanamegi-kun. Could I speak to you for a moment?”

“Of course,” Nanaki replies, shouldering his bag. “What’s up?”

“W-Well, um,” she begins, twisting a strand of pink hair around her finger. “I-I’ve been working up the courage to do this all week. I know this is sudden, but…”

Nanaki sighs. “Sorry, I–”

“Could you give this to Kurama-kun for me?!” she whisper-exclaims, thrusting the letter into Nanaki’s chest.

“...Huh?”

Minamoto’s cheeks go bright red. “I see him sometimes when our clubs do joint activities, and watching him during the D-BATTLE made me think that he’s actually pretty cool… Even though you were battling each other, you seem pretty close, so I was hoping you could pass this on for me!”

…What? Someone saw all that, and it made them fall for Ushio?

Something twists in Nanaki’s chest. Is he jealous that she likes Ushio instead of him? No, no. He’s happy that her affections aren’t directed towards him. So then why does he feel so… annoyed?

“S-Sure thing,” he says, reluctantly accepting the letter from her. “But wouldn’t you rather give it to him yourself?”

“I would, but he’s a pretty elusive person,” Minamoto says. “The only time I can actually find him is when he’s making sweets, but he always looks so focused that I’d feel bad interrupting. You two work together as ward mayors, right? So I thought your chances were better than mine… Sorry for pushing this on you. You can say no if you don’t want to.”

Nanaki shakes his head. “No, it’s okay. I don’t mind. I’ll make sure he gets it.”

Minamoto thanks him eagerly then runs off to join her giggling friends, leaving Nanaki tightly clutching the letter. For a simple piece of paper, it’s awfully heavy.

Nanaki doesn’t run into Ushio until dinnertime. The letter is safely tucked away in his school bag so that Akuta and Kiroku don’t see it and get the wrong idea. He’s been unable to concentrate all evening, which isn’t very helpful considering he’s supposed to be working on a new song for the Night Team at the moment. He doesn’t know why he’s so bothered by this. It’s weird for someone to see Ushio being so petty and end up liking him because of it, right?

“Panda?”

That girl doesn’t know that Ushio has a habit of fidgeting with his watch when he’s nervous. Nor does she know that he bounces his leg when he’s concentrating on his homework, that he treats androids with as much care as one would a human, or that he sometimes mouths the lyrics along when he’s listening to music.

“Hello? Earth to Panda?”

All she knows is that he likes making sweets and that he has a somewhat passionate side. But that passion was directed towards Nanaki, not her. So why would she fall for him?

“Oi!” Someone snaps their fingers in front of his face–it’s Ushio, looking down at him with a frown. “Did you finally lose it or what?”

“Ushio…” Nanaki clears his throat. When he looks around, he realises that the dining room is empty save for the two of them. “Uh, did you need something?”

“Not really? I was just wondering if there was a reason you were glaring daggers at me while we ate,” Ushio says, folding his arms across his chest.

Nanaki blinks. “I was what?”

Ushio rolls his eyes. “Don’t play dumb. Even Idiotake thought it was weird. What, do you want another D-BATTLE or something? If so, I’d be happy to oblige. You should really learn to be more inconspicuous when staring at other people’s faces. It’s distracting, you know?”

“That’s rich, coming from you,” Nanaki mutters. Ushio furrows his brow, and Nanaki fights off a grin. He can almost hear the sound effect of him taking damage. He will admit, he had been a little caught up thinking about the letter and, well, Ushio himself. Oh, how the tables have turned. “But no, that’s not why I was staring at you. Uh… could you meet me on the balcony in, like, five minutes?”

“What? Why?”

Nanaki flashes him his brightest smile. “You’ll see.”

Exactly five minutes later, the two of them are sitting on the balcony. Nanaki has the letter with him, weighing down his jacket pocket. Part of him thought about just throwing it away and pretending it never happened, but that would be going a little too far. Besides, there’s no good reason for him to sabotage this. Who knows? Maybe Ushio will accept it, and they’ll fall in love and live happily ever after.

…Ew, no. The thought makes Nanaki shudder.

“So? Why am I here?” Ushio asks, cutting through the awkward silence.

“I have something for you.” Nanaki shifts around the sofa until he’s beside Ushio, maintaining enough distance for Ushio to remain comfortable.

Ushio scrunches up his face. “You do?”

“Yeah.” Nanaki pulls the letter from his pocket, extending it to Ushio. “Here.”

Nanaki watches as Ushio’s eyes go wide, his lips parting ever so slightly. It’s an expression he doesn’t think he’s seen before. “This is–”

“Heeey, Nanaki. Can I borrow your–” Akuta interrupts, barging in out of nowhere. He takes one look at the two of them and the letter being passed between them, and his face flushes bright red. “N-N-Nanaki, you like Ushio…?! I’m sorry for interrupting! I'll be going now, bye!”

“That idiot…” Nanaki mumbles. He’s probably going to go and run his mouth to whoever he bumps into first. He just hopes it isn’t the chief. He doesn’t want him to end up with the wrong idea. He definitely doesn’t stand a chance if he thinks Nanaki likes someone else.

“Don’t you need to go and stop him?” Ushio asks, as if he read Nanaki’s mind.

“...That can wait.” Nanaki learned his lesson last time. He isn’t going to run away again. Even if he technically has nothing to do with this handoff. “Here. It’s a love letter.”

“A love letter…?” Do Nanaki’s eyes deceive him, or are the tips of Ushio’s ears red? “What, for me? Have you gone insane?”

“It’s from my classmate, uh, Minamoto-san,” Nanaki clarifies. “She asked me to give it to you.”

“Oh. I see,” Ushio mumbles, his shoulders relaxing. He almost looks disappointed, but that may just be Nanaki’s imagination. “Give it here, then.”

He takes it from Nanaki, carefully opening it without ripping the envelope and taking the letter out. Nanaki watches with bated breath as Ushio reads it. His expression remains unchanging throughout, leaving nothing for Nanaki to scrutinise. He can’t tell if he’s flattered or put off. Maybe a mix of both? Nanaki isn’t sure whether Ushio is used to being confessed to or not. He’s going to go with no, considering his prickly nature.

People are missing out, if he’s being honest. Ushio’s sweets are to die for; Nanaki’s sure that if he were to take a lover, they would be spoiled with sweets chock-full of his affection for them. Once you take the time to get to know him, he’s kind and considerate, his looks are, well… he’s handsome, okay? Not that Nanaki would ever tell him that, of course. And he always smells nice. Like vanilla, or something.

Once he’s finished reading, Ushio sighs, folding the letter up and tucking it back into the envelope. “...I take it you don’t feel the same?” Nanaki asks.

“Of course not,” Ushio says with a frown. “I don't know her. I can’t believe she fell for me because of that.”

“Do you want me to tell her you said no?”

“No, I’ll do it myself,” Ushio replies, much to Nanaki’s surprise. “I’d feel like shit if someone got their friend to reject them for me.”

“...You’re right.” The thought of the chief sending, like, Kamina to reject him makes Nanaki feel a little queasy. “Ah, wait. Their friend? Does that mean I’m your friend?”

Ushio turns his head away from Nanaki. “Shut up. I never said that.”

Nanaki laughs, slumping back against the pillows. He really should be doing Akuta damage control by now, but he’s enjoying talking to Ushio. He likes their back-and-forths, but it’s also nice getting to just talk every now and then. “…So, do you get a lot of confessions?”

“No. Not many people wanna go out with a goody-two-shoes.”

Regret washes over Nanaki. Of course that’s the case. He should have thought that one through. “I’m—”

“It’s whatever. You don’t have to say anything.” Ushio faces him again, no trace of hurt in his eyes. “What about you? The only reason we ended up having a D-BATTLE was because you rejected that girl. What did you do to make her so mad?”

Nanaki traces his tongue over his lips nervously. “I just wanted to hurry up and turn her down, but I might have come off a little harsh… Then I asked her to leave because Kiroku would be there soon.”

“Seriously? Wow, you really deserved that lashing she gave you,” Ushio laughs. “The easiest way to get out of that situation is to say you already have someone you like, isn’t it?”

Nanaki pauses. “…Is that what you’re planning on doing?”

Ushio freezes.

“It is!” Nanaki exclaims, instinctively moving in closer. “Ushio, do you have someone you like?!”

“N-No! Don’t start making things up!” Ushio shuffles backwards, a gentle blush settling on his cheeks.

“Really? Come on, you can tell me. You know about mine, so it’s only fair.” Nanaki follows him, leaning in until their faces are only inches apart. As usual, Ushio smells amazing. No, wait. That isn’t the point right now. The point is that there’s a chance Ushio has a crush on someone, which… huh. Nanaki isn’t quite sure whether he’s fond of that notion or not.

Ushio’s breath seems to catch in his throat for a moment, his eyes unable to remain fixed on Nanaki. “I’m telling you, I don’t like anyone. I don’t talk to anyone outside of you guys anyway. Who would it even be? Idiotake?”

“It could be,” Nanaki replies evenly. “Is it?”

“Hell no. Hard pass,” Ushio says with a scrunch of his nose.“T-There isn’t anyone to begin with, okay?! Not everyone falls in love as easily as you do!”

Nanaki winces. If this had been a D-BATTLE, that would have done significant damage. He pulls away from Ushio, putting the distance back between them with a pout. Ushio bites his lip, gaze flitting between Nanaki’s face and the floor in contemplation. It wasn’t really that low of a blow, but Nanaki is practiced in the art of winning sympathy, particularly from his big brother.

“…I didn’t mean that,” Ushio mumbles. He reaches into his pocket, pulling out a small plastic bag tied neatly with a turquoise ribbon and dropping it into Nanaki’s lap. “Here.”

Inside are three macarons. “…Why do you have this?”

“I made them during club earlier and didn’t want them to go to waste. That’s all.” So he says, but his ears are red again.

When Nanaki carefully unties the ribbon, he’s met with the fresh scent of maple. He smiles. “Thanks, Ushio. You’re forgiven.”

Today is graduation day.

As of tomorrow, Nanaki will officially be an adult. He feels as though he’s spent his entire life waiting for this day. Their graduation ceremony just finished, and now everyone seems to be mingling with friends, family, and even the teachers. Day2 will be putting on a live for their fellow graduates this evening, and everyone from HAMA Tours has come to show their support. He’s just pointing Raito in the direction of Akuta when something catches his eye. It’s Ushio, and it looks as though he’s… being confessed to?

Huh. He’s pretty sure that Ushio hasn’t received another confession since his old classmate last year. Unless he has and just kept it quiet, which he doubts. This time it’s a guy with dark brown hair and glasses, awkwardly offering the second button of his blazer to Ushio with red cheeks. Ushio shakes his head, holding up his hands as if to refuse the button. Thank goodness.

…Thank goodness? Why does Nanaki care? He shakes his head to rid himself of any strange thoughts, waiting until Ushio is alone to make his way over to him. “Hey, Ushio.”

Ushio grimaces when he sees him approaching. “How much of that did you see?”

“I saw everything,” Nanaki says with a teasing grin. “Who was that?”

“Someone from my club. Apparently, he’s always admired me but hasn’t been able to tell me. But since he might never see me again after today, he finally took his shot, or whatever,” Ushio explains, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Since I don’t feel the same, I didn’t think it was appropriate for me to take his button.”

“I see,” Nanaki says, hoping Ushio doesn’t notice his pocket full of buttons. He would have refused them, but some of these people are persistent. Besides, it was the least he could do to acknowledge their feelings. “I’m surprised that someone liked you for so long. Since you must have shared the kitchen, I can only imagine the amount of times you called him germ-ridden. I’d have fallen out of love ASAP.”

“You’re one to talk. All those poor, unfortunate souls tripping over themselves for you have no idea that you’re just gonna throw all those buttons away like trash,” Ushio retorts, eliciting a wince from Nanaki. He’s hit the nail on the head. “Seriously, if you’re gonna accept them, you should be a little more thoughtful. How would you feel if the person you liked discarded your feelings like that?”

“...He wouldn’t do that,” Nanaki mumbles, his voice loud enough for only Ushio to hear.

“I know,” Ushio sighs, giving him a half-hearted smile. “...Are you gonna give it to him?”

“Huh?”

Ushio steps closer, lowering his voice. “I’m asking if you’re gonna confess.”

“Ah, um…” Nanaki feels his cheeks grow warm. “I think so. Not today, though. Tomorrow.”

“Do you have any idea where you’re gonna do it?”

Nanaki blanks. Now that Ushio mentions it, that is something he should have planned. He’s spent so much time agonising over what he’ll say that he completely forgot about a location. It probably isn’t the best idea to do it at HAMA House, since the likelihood of someone interrupting is significantly high. “Uh… well…”

“Seriously? You don’t know? I thought that by now you’d have everything planned out to a tee. I guess I had my expectations too high for a slacker like you,” Ushio scoffs, then moves even closer, close enough that their shoulders nearly touch through their blazers. He takes his phone out of his pocket and pulls up the maps app. “There’s a little park nearby HAMA House that I go to sometimes when I wanna be alone. It’s pretty private, so no one we know should see you.”

Nanaki finds his gaze drawn to Ushio’s face rather than the location on his phone. There’s that lovely vanilla scent again. Is it his shampoo? Cologne? Or does he just spend so much time baking that he naturally smells like that? He’s so close that their hair brushes when one of them moves. Now that he’s getting a better look at him, Nanaki realises that the corners of his eyes are slightly red. That makes sense, considering all five of them had been in tears during the ceremony. He doesn’t think anyone cried harder than the chief, though. Well, maybe except for Mutsuki.

He faintly registers Ushio clicking his teeth. “Are you even listening?”

“Ah, yeah,” Nanaki lies, glancing down at the phone screen. “This looks like it’d be a good spot. Thank you, Ushio.”

“No need to thank me,” Ushio mumbles, stepping away from Nanaki. “It’s just better that you don’t make a fool out of yourself in front of the entire company.”

“Aw, you’re looking out for me,” Nanaki teases.

‘Well, someone has to. You’re just a panda, after all. No thoughts going on in there whatsoever.”

“You don’t seem to think that when you come to me for song recommendations.”

“Hah? That’s a completely different matter.”

It doesn’t take long for Muneuji to interrupt, telling them that they shouldn’t be fighting on a day like this. When Nanaki locks eyes with Ushio, he can’t help but hope these days continue even though they’re growing older. He’s confident Ushio hopes so, too.

The next day, Nanaki arrives at the park at half past five in the evening, half an hour earlier than the time the chief agreed to meet him. In his hand is a single red rose, the perfect summary of his feelings. Now that he’s finally graduated from the label of ‘a child’, he finally has his chance to make the chief—Kaede—recognise him as a potential love interest. The cherry blossoms in the park are in full bloom, creating a romantic atmosphere that he finds himself grateful for. He wonders if Ushio knew about it.

Arriving so early might have been overkill, but he needed to get out here and calm down ahead of time. His heart won’t stop trying to break out of his body, and he’s felt like he’s going to throw up at least three times now. His hands are trembling and he’s pretty sure he’s sweaty as hell, but he made sure to wear his nicest smelling cologne, which should hopefully cover for that fact. He hadn’t told anyone except for Ushio about his plans, but he has a feeling that Akuta and Kiroku knew when they helped him pick out his best outfit and style his hair.

“Nanaki-kun!” Kaede’s voice rings out from a distance behind him. Nanaki isn’t surprised; he anticipated that he’d be early as well. He’s just like that. Nanaki takes a deep breath to steel himself before turning around to face Kaede.

In the end, though, Nanaki gets rejected.

It hurts. It really, really hurts. His chest feels heavy, and the back of his nose tickles. He almost feels like he can’t breathe.

He told Kaede to go home without him, that he just needed a bit of space for a while. After aimlessly wandering around for a while, he finds a bench tucked away behind some trees. He slumps down with a sigh and buries his face in his hands. He’s faced rejection before, but none were quite on this level. These feelings took root nearly two years ago, and now they’ve been severed and left for dead.

He’s contemplating just laying down and letting the earth swallow him whole when he hears something rustle in front of him. Reluctantly, he lifts his head from his hands, blinking as his eyes readjust to the world. There’s a figure standing between the trees that lead to the bench, the hood of their jacket inconspicuously pulled over their head. “Hello? Is someone there?”

“...No,” comes a familiar voice.

Nanaki squints. “…Ushio? Is that you?”

“No,” repeats the suspiciously Ushio-shaped silhouette. After a moment, they sigh and move closer, the moonlight confirming that it is, in fact, Ushio.

“What are you doing here?” Nanaki asks, hurriedly rubbing at his eyes. He doesn’t think he’s cried that much, but Ushio is far too perceptive for Nanaki’s liking.

Ushio idly kicks a pile of sticks at his feet. “Nothing much. Just going for a walk.”

“...At the same time you knew I’d be here?”

“Yeah. What about it?” Ushio retorts, crushing the sticks with a sneaker-clad foot. “I’m free to go for a walk whenever I want to.”

Nanaki breathes out a laugh. Wow. He had been beginning to feel as though he would never smile again. “Sure. If you say so.”

“…Are you okay?”

“No,” Nanaki says. “I mean, how could I be? The past two years have been a waste.”

“Don’t say that.”

The harshness of Ushio’s voice surprises Nanaki. “Huh?”

“They weren’t a waste,” Ushio continues, glaring down at Nanaki. “Sure, it might not have ended the way you wanted it to, but think of all the good times. Since you were serious about it, you shouldn’t just toss it aside like that. You’d be doing yourself and the chief a disservice.”

When Nanaki doesn’t respond, Ushio scoffs half-heartedly. “I thought you would’ve learned by now to quit being a coward. Even if you feel like the world is ending, you need to meet those feelings head-on. Hold that pain close to your heart. One day, you’ll feel better for it.”

“Ushio…” Suddenly, Nanaki is sixteen again, stuck on Angel Road Island with the chief. His breath catches in his throat, and he finds himself unable to do anything except gaze up at Ushio.

“Don’t make that face. You look like a kicked puppy,” Ushio sighs. He rummages around in his bag then tosses a plastic container at Nanaki. “Here. Donuts. Eat. You missed dinner.”

With fumbling hands, Nanaki removes the lid of the container. Maple, he thinks. He sniffles, taking a bite of the sweet treat. It might be the tastiest thing he’s ever eaten in his life. He thinks that every time he eats something handmade by Ushio, but this might seriously take the cake. Before he knows it, his vision starts to blur and the tears are falling again, molten lava trailing down his cheeks. Each mouthful tastes better than the last, even with the saltiness from his tears mixed in.

If Nanaki expresses his feelings through music, then Ushio most definitely expresses his through his sweets. It’s like a warm embrace for his soul.

Ushio lets him cry. He doesn’t say anything, just offers him a handkerchief embroidered with a cute little chocolate bar. Nanaki accepts it gratefully, but his tears seem to have no intention of stopping just yet. The only sound that can be heard for a while is Nanaki’s broken sobs. His shoulders begin to ache from the effort, and he faintly registers that it’s becoming hard to breathe.

“Sorry,” he mumbles eventually, wincing at how hoarse his voice is.

“…It’s okay. I understand.” Ushio’s hand twitches at his side. Nanaki rubs at his face with the handkerchief. He’ll have to ask Nagi to wash it for him at some point. “You should come back to my apartment.”

Nanaki furrows his eyebrows. “What?”

“You can’t go back to the dorms looking like this,” Ushio says, giving him a once-over. “And you definitely can’t go to your own house. That brother of yours will have the chief’s head.”

“That’s true…” Nanaki says. It’s probably better if he never tells Mutsuki about this. “Can you, um, let the others know? That I won’t be back yet?”

“Already done.” Ushio waves his phone. He must have done it whilst Nanaki was busy crying his eyes out. He really is a lot kinder than he wants people to think. “Come on. Let’s go before it gets any darker.”

Nanaki trails behind Ushio as he leads him to the nearby train station. Neither of them say a word until Ushio makes him aware that they’ve reached their stop. Thankfully, it isn’t a long walk to his apartment. Without Ushio, Nanaki probably would have wandered around until the air grew cold and began to bite at his skin. He would have found himself at his family home, refused to answer any of his brother’s questions, and resigned himself to his room in misery. His bed sounds like a really nice place to be right now, somewhere he can hide from the world and wallow in self-pity for as long as necessary. But none of that happened. Because Ushio found him.

“I’m home,” Ushio calls once they’re inside, kicking his shoes off at the entrance. He scurries off as Nanaki carefully takes his own shoes off—he can hear him faffing about with something in another room, but he doesn’t have the energy to question what. “Don’t just stand there, Panda. Come in.”

“Pardon the intrusion…” Nanaki murmurs. He’s never been to Ushio’s home before; for a place that doesn’t get much foot traffic, it’s extremely welcoming, with cream walls and a deep brown floor. He heads in Ushio’s direction, finding him closing a cupboard door in the small kitchen as he walks in.

“Are you hungry?”

“Kinda…”

“I don’t have a lot of regular food here. It’s mostly just ingredients,” Ushio mutters, rummaging through his cupboards until he finds something. “Is cup noodles okay?”

“...As long as it’s not spicy.”

Ushio chuckles. “Don’t worry, it’s just the regular one.”

“Is it okay if I use your bathroom?”

“Go ahead. It’s the first door on your right.”

Nanaki makes his way in and closes the door behind him with a sigh. He washes his hands in the sink, catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Man, he looks a wreck. His eyes are red and swollen, his cheeks are blotchy and his hair is a mess. Ushio was right. He absolutely could not go back to the dorms in this condition. He splashes some cold water onto his face and fixes his hair, hoping he’s somewhat presentable now. Although, when he thinks about it, he doesn’t really care that much. After all, the only other person here is Ushio.

As he reaches for the door handle, something hits him. He glances around as though he’s being watched, then slips over to the adjoining room to check the bathtub. Vanilla-scented shampoo. Nanaki bites back a grin.

When he returns to the kitchen, Ushio has the cup noodles and two glasses of water ready and waiting. “Make sure to drink a lot. You’re probably dehydrated after crying like a baby.”

“At least I’m not a stalker,” Nanaki mumbles, blowing on his food. Ushio has no comeback for that. The two of them move to the living room, sitting on opposite ends of Ushio’s surprisingly comfortable sofa. Nanaki spots Ushio’s Robo-mama in the corner and greets her with a nod. “Thanks for the food.”

After a minute, Ushio speaks up. “...So?”

“So what?”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Ah…” Nanaki hesitates. “Are you sure? I might end up talking your ear off.”

Ushio avoids meeting his gaze. “...I don’t mind. It’s better than you keeping it all bottled up inside and crashing out. We’re the ones who would have to clean up that mess anyway, so you might as well get it out of the way now.”

He makes a fair point. And knowing Ushio, it isn’t as if he’ll use anything he tells him against him. He always knows exactly where to draw the line. In that sense, he’s probably the best confidant around. “...I spent weeks agonising over what I would say when I told him. I filled in a whole notebook with song lyrics and speeches. And you know what I ended up saying?”

“What?”

“‘I like you. Please go out with me.’”

Ushio laughs, but it isn’t mean-spirited. “Seriously? From unlove-sensei? The guy who wrote me that stupidly poetic challenge letter? That was the best you could do?”

Nanaki swallows a mouthful of noodles before continuing. “I froze up in the moment, okay! Before he could say anything, I started talking about how I’d like to stay by his side forever if he’d let me, or something like that. I don’t know. I’ve kinda blacked half of it out already. He waited for me to finish speaking before saying anything himself, which I thought was so him. He even bought me a drink when we were walking around. Why does he have to be so nice?”

“Beats me,” Ushio says. “But that’s what everyone likes about him, right?”

“Yeah…” Nanaki sighs. “Anyway, he said he was grateful I felt that way but he couldn’t reciprocate my feelings. Something about me always being a child in his eyes.”

“Ouch.”

“Right? Part of me keeps wondering why I couldn’t have been born a few years earlier…” At that, Nanaki notices Ushio’s eye twitch. “Then I apologised for taking up his time, and he said that he was glad I told him, and that it must have taken a lot of courage. I told him to go home without me, and, well, yeah. Then I bumped into you. I’m glad I did, to be honest. You’re annoying, but that part of you is grounding.”

“If we’re talking about who’s more annoying, it’s definitely you,” Ushio mutters. Always has to get the last word in, this one. “…But same to you, I guess.”

Nanaki gives Ushio a small smile that he does not return. Instead, his cheeks flush pink and he turns his attention back to his noodles. It reminds him of when Ushio wrote that he isn’t a tsundere on his birthday card last year. “Hey, have you heard of the superstition that if you close your eyes and catch a cherry blossom petal, your love will come true?”

“I think so, yeah,” Ushio says. “What, did you try that before he showed up?”

“Yeah… I didn’t catch anything, though. One just blew straight into my face.” Nanaki rests his chopsticks on top of his cup then reaches into his pocket, producing a small, pink petal. “I saved it just in case it meant something. Am I stupid or what?”

“Maybe.” When Nanaki frowns, Ushio just shrugs and continues slurping his noodles. “What? Just being honest. You can’t rely on superstitions for stuff like this, you know. If you want something, you need to make it happen yourself.”

“True…” Nanaki trails off, an idea forming in his head. “You said I could stay the night, right?”

“Yeah,” Ushio replies. Nanaki can see the suspicion in his eyes.

“In that case, can I sleep in your bed?”

“What? Of course not!”

“I’m the poor soul who just got his heart broken, though… Don’t you think I deserve the most comfortable place to rest?”

“Shut up.” Ushio extends his foot and kicks him in the shin, an action that surprises Nanaki enough that he drops the act.

Ever since Ushio told everyone in the daytime group about his past and his condition, he’s been slowly working on being able to touch people. Mostly with Muneuji, but occasionally he’ll tap Kiroku on the shoulder or allow Akuta to high-five him. Before he admitted everything, though, a situation arose in which Nanaki had to grab Ushio’s hand. Even though he could see in his face that it hurt, he didn’t tell him to let go. But he hasn’t made an attempt to touch Nanaki again since then, something Nanaki tries not to take personally.

“I have a spare futon you can use,” Ushio says. “But you can’t say a word about my bedroom. Got it?”

Nanaki nods. “Yes, Ushio-san. Thank you very much for your hospitality.”

“Quit that, too.” With a sigh, Ushio gets to his feet and takes their empty noodle cups into the kitchen.

When he switches on the light, Nanaki can understand why he didn’t want him commenting on it. There’s a life-sized tapestry of Chiyoda Reito on the back wall, the various display shelves are neatly decorated with various standees of Reito and, um, Ouji? Nanaki thinks it was, and there’s at least ten Reito plushies lined up on the bed. Ushio’s face is bright red as he gathers the plushies up and lays them out on his desk, which, now that Nanaki’s noticed it, is also lined with more Reito merch.

“You really love Reito, don’t you?”

“So what if I do?”

“Nothing. I think it’s great that you have this much love to give…” The chief’s words from Shodoshima ring out in Nanaki’s head. You have a lot of love to give, Nanaki-kun. They’re the same in that aspect too, huh.

…It must be nice to be loved by Ushio.

“You know, I think this is my first time having a proper sleepover at someone else’s house,” Nanaki says as he helps Ushio take the futon out from the cupboard.

Ushio raises an eyebrow. “What? Really?”

“Yeah… Akuta and I weren’t that close when we were little, and I didn’t really have any close friends in middle school either.” A result of keeping everyone at arms length to avoid getting hurt. And look where he’s ended up now.

“Muu-chan and I used to have sleepovers all the time,” Ushio says, and from his tone, he’s definitely bragging. “He had glow-in-the-dark stars stuck on his ceiling, so we’d stay up making constellations out of them.”

“That sounds nice,” Nanaki replies, smoothing out the futon. But when he looks up at Ushio, his eyes are awfully sad. Nanaki decides not to press the matter anymore.

They take turns in the bathroom before turning in for the night. Nanaki feels somewhat excited as he tucks himself into the futon. Part of him hopes this’ll be like the movies and they’ll stay up half the night chatting, but this is Ushio. And Nanaki is rather tired after, well, everything. “…Ushio.”

“What?”

“Thank you.”

“It’s whatever,” Ushio mumbles.

Nanaki imagines his red ears and furrowed eyebrows and laughs quietly to himself. “You know, if you were anyone else, I probably would have fallen in love with you tonight.”

Ushio doesn’t respond.

“Ushio…? Are you asleep?” Still no reply. “I guess so, huh. …Goodnight.”

At approximately 5:12pm, Nanaki’s phone flashes with a notification.

Ushio: i’ll be home late so don’t worry about making dinner for me

Before Nanaki knows it, he’s got the phone pressed to his ear, waiting for Ushio to pick up.

“Hello?” Ushio’s voice comes after four rings.

“What was that text you sent?”

“What? I think it’s pretty self-explanatory, or did you forget how to read? I’ll be home late tonight, so you don’t need to make dinner for me.”

Nanaki rolls his eyes. “Why?”

“Why?” Ushio repeats incredulously.

“Why will you be home late?”

“What are you, my mom?”

“Tell me.”

“…I’m going out to get a drink with a few classmates.”

…huh?

Okay, here’s the deal: a little over two years ago, everyone in Day2 graduated. Unfortunately, they all ended up attending different universities that specialised in each of their areas of interest. However, Nanaki and Ushio’s respective schools were within ten minutes walking distance from each other, and a two hour journey from HAMA House. And so, logically, the best thing to do in that situation was for the two of them to move into an apartment close by together.

Everyone doubted that they could make it work. You guys won’t even last a month, Akuta bet. Please try not to distract each other from your schoolwork, Muneuji instructed them on multiple occasions. And yet here they are, two years later, still roommates.

Ushio had been opposed to the idea at first, of course. Something about Nanaki being a pain to live with and some other reason he refused to elaborate on. But he agreed to it in the end because it was the best way to save money. Out loud, Nanaki made sure to voice his protests as well. But really, he had no qualms with it whatsoever. Living with Ushio meant he would get to eat his sweets every day, after all. How could anyone say no to that?

They settled into the two-bedroom apartment relatively easily. Both of them had been too busy with the first semester of uni to concern themselves with one another, but they’d still eat dinner together occasionally, and Nanaki would make them both coffee in the morning. He made sure to soundproof his room to not bother Ushio when he’s working, and Ushio always silently puts aside a serving of whatever sweet he’s made for Nanaki. All in all, it’s a pretty good situation.

…is what Nanaki wishes he could say. On the surface, everything is fine. Even if Ushio hates ‘the way he loads the dishwasher’, that isn’t enough to make him want to move out or anything. Nanaki’s issue isn’t Ushio. It’s himself.

He knows better than anyone that when he likes someone, he tends to feel pretty strongly towards that person. However, in this case, it seems the strong feelings have manifested without the ‘liking’ part. Towards Ushio.

Right now, they’re a lot closer than they were as teenagers. Ushio is the first person Nanaki sees when he wakes up, and usually the last person he sees before going to sleep. Living together, just the two of them, has provided even further insight into Ushio than just being dormmates had. The brand of toothpaste Ushio likes, how he likes his eggs cooked, that dazzling smile he dons when he comes home with new Patibattle merch, his soft-looking pink lips; Nanaki has everything committed to memory.

And he wants to keep it all to himself.

He doesn’t want Ushio to one day come home to someone else. He wants to be the only person that gets to hear him hum in the shower. He needs to be the only one whose shoulder Ushio rests his head on as a meaningless movie plays in the background. And he hates himself for it.

Nanaki isn’t quite sure what the trigger for these feelings was. Perhaps constantly being within such proximity to him overwrote his senses, and now he’s attached like a dog is to its owner. He tries not to let these feelings show, of course. There’s most definitely something wrong with him. The Nanamegi curse, or whatever. But even before he felt this way, he found that he grew lonely when Ushio wasn’t around to antagonise him. That sentiment just grew and grew and grew until it became an unstoppable beast.

Which is why when he hears that Ushio is spending his evening with someone other than himself—more specifically, people he doesn’t know—something in him snaps.

“What? Since when do you hang out with your classmates?” Nanaki asks, wincing at the iciness of his voice.

It takes Ushio a moment to respond. “I dunno. I just felt like it.”

“Are you being forced into this?! Because if you are, I’ll come get you—”

“Jeez, what’s gotten into you?” Ushio interrupts. On the other end of the line, Nanaki can faintly hear someone else’s voice. His stomach twists. “I’m fine, I’m going because I want to. Don’t wait up. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Wha— Ushio!” And he hung up. Typical.

Nanaki bites his lower lip. Outside of HAMA Tours, Ushio doesn’t really like many people. He knows he has a few robotics classmates that he spends lunch with, but he never really hangs out with them outside of university. So why the sudden change of pace? It’s not like Ushio. The people aside, he isn’t really fond of going out late in the first place. Especially drinking.

When Ushio turned twenty a few months ago, everyone in Day2 gathered for their first full drinking party. Nanaki… is something of a lightweight, so even though he tried not to drink too much, he ended up pretty out of it. Akuta is surprisingly tolerant, Muneuji raises his voice after a few drinks for some reason, and Kiroku becomes giggly. Ushio is somehow even more lightweight than Nanaki; he becomes so endearing that you just want to pinch his cheeks. Which Nanaki thinks he may have done. Or not. He tends to forget half of what happens when he’s drunk.

Anyway, the point is that Ushio potentially showing these unknown guys that side of him is dangerous. There is a high chance they would fall for him immediately. Nanaki will not stand for that.

He switches the ringer of his phone on just in case Ushio changes his mind. He isn’t really hungry yet, so he decides to kill the time by working on an unlove song. This proves to be useless, though, because he can’t help but check his phone every two minutes just in case he’s missed something. Not even half an hour after he spoke to Ushio, Nanaki ends up calling someone else for backup.

“Nanamegi?”

“Muneuji,” Nanaki greets. “Did Ushio tell you he’s going out with some friends tonight?”

“Yes, he did. Why? Is something wrong?”

Nanaki licks his lips. “Don’t you think it’s kinda weird?”

“Not especially,” Muneuji replies.

“I mean, he never usually hangs out with them, and we’ve never met them before. What if they’re bad people?”

“I trust Uu-chan to choose the right people to spend his time with,” Muneuji says with the casual air of a childhood friend. “Are you perhaps jealous, Nanamegi?”

“W-What? Jealous?” Nanaki scoffs at the unfortunately true accusation. “No, I’m just worried… You know what he’s like when he’s drunk.”

“...You may be right about that,” Muneuji admits. Nanaki breathes a sigh of relief. Thank goodness he understands. “Why don’t you go down there and check on him?”

“I don’t know where he is,” is what Nanaki says instead of ‘Wouldn’t that be an invasion of privacy?’ or something else that isn’t morally questionable.

“Give me a minute…” Muneuji trails off. “...I’ve got it. I’ll send you the information.”

Immediately after that, Nanaki receives a text message with the name and location of the izakaya. “That quickly?! How did you find him?”

Muneuji chuckles. “I simply asked where he is under the pretence of making future plans.”

“Good thinking.” Part of Nanaki wishes Ushio would reply to his messages that fast, but now isn’t the time for that kind of thinking. “I’ll go down there now. Thanks, Muneuji.”

Ten minutes later, Nanaki is on the train. The izakaya isn’t far from Ushio’s university, meaning it isn’t far from their house either. He wonders whether he should really be doing this. He could just walk by and see how he’s doing… No. There’s no way he could stomach watching it. If Ushio is drunk, he’ll take him home, no matter what he has to say.

He’s two stops away when his phone rings. Thinking perhaps it’s Muneuji, he checks the caller ID, only to be met with Ushio’s contact flashing on the screen. Huh? Ushio’s calling him. What?

Taking a deep breath, he answers the phone. “Hello?”

“…Nanaki.” Ushio’s voice is quiet. He can make out the hustle and bustle one would expect from an izakaya in the background.

“Ushio?”

“Nanaki,” Ushio repeats, his voice low. “…I miss you.”

“Ushio? Are you okay?!” One more stop. One more stop and then he’ll be there. “Are you drunk?”

A short laugh, then, “...Maybe.”

“Honestly, you…” Just as Nanaki is about to tell him he’s on his way, the line cuts off. “Ushio? Ushio!”

This is why Ushio shouldn’t be out there getting drunk with these nobodies. The train finally arrives at his stop and he practically runs out of the station, following the map on his phone to the izakaya. He stops to catch his breath when he reaches it, peering in through the window. It has the regular cozy vibe you’d expect from an izakaya, crowded with groups of varying energy levels. He spots Ushio right at the back, tucked into a booth with two other people. They’re both sitting opposite him, thankfully. At least he has enough sense to maintain his distance.

Nanaki checks himself over with his phone camera before making his way inside. He hasn’t quite planned what he’s going to say yet, but he isn’t leaving until Ushio comes home with him. Rather than directly approaching the table, Nanaki opts to casually walk by in hopes that Ushio will notice him.

It doesn’t take long for his plan to succeed. After the second time he passes the table, Ushio looks up at him, his cheeks flushed and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. There are three empty beer mugs in front of him. “...Panda? Is that you?”

Nanaki puts on his best surprised face. “Ushio?! W-What are you doing here?!”

“That should be my question,” Ushio says with a dopey smile, his words slightly slurred. “How did you find me?”

See? Drunk Ushio is dangerous. Before Nanaki has a chance to answer, the brunette opposite Ushio interjects with a grin. “So you’re the infamous panda?”

Nanaki narrows his eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Ah, nothing bad! It’s just that Kurama-kun brings you up, like, all the time,” she explains, nudging the black-haired guy next to her. “Right?”

“Yeah!” He nods. “In fact, he mentions you so much we were starting to wonder if you’re his boyfriend.”

Ushio makes a startled noise at this. “Hngyah?! H-He’s not—”

“That’s right,” Nanaki says without thinking. “I’m Ushio’s boyfriend.”

“Really?!” Ushio’s companions exclaim simultaneously. Ushio is lost for words, gaping up at Nanaki in a daze. It’s awfully cute.

“Um, yeah…” Nanaki mumbles. He can feel his face growing warm. Why would he say that? Oh, well. This can help get Ushio out of here. “I got a bit lonely without him so I came to find him… Sorry for interrupting.”

“No, no, it’s okay!” The girl says enthusiastically. “If you want him, he’s all yours! We were surprised that he agreed to come with us for once, but we won’t keep him from you. We know he’s very fond of you, Panda-kun.”

“Ah, thanks…” Really? Is that how their relationship seems to an outsider through Ushio’s recounts? Also, who the hell are they to call him Panda? “Well, Ushio? Shall we get going?”

“Um, okay,” Ushio says. Huh. Nanaki expected a lot more resistance. But, then again, Ushio is drunk. The last time he was drunk, he wouldn’t stop going on about how much he loved Akuta’s most recent movie, despite proclaiming that it sucked during their viewing. Clearly, he loses the ‘tsun’ part of being a tsundere.

Ushio fishes some bills out of his pocket to cover his cost, then his friends bid him goodbye as they make their way out. He stumbles a little once they make it outside, so Nanaki slips his cold hand into Ushio’s warm one. “Be careful, okay?”

“...Thanks,” Ushio murmurs.

Nanaki decides to walk home rather than take the train; it should only be half an hour or so, and the cool summer air should help Ushio sober up. They walk in silence for a while, Ushio allowing himself to be pulled along by Nanaki. It’s only when they stop at a crosswalk that Nanaki speaks up. “So? What exactly did you mean earlier?”

“Earlier?”

“When you said you missed me?”

Ushio remains silent until they’ve crossed the street. “…I dunno what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, you do,” Nanaki says. “It wasn’t that long ago.”

“…I’m drunk, okay?” Ushio replies, pacing himself so he’s walking behind Nanaki again. When Nanaki turns to look at him, his face is bright red. “You can’t hold anythin’ I say against me.”

Nanaki laughs. “I’m pretty sure I can.”

“Nuh-uh. I don’t bring up that time you got shit-faced and admitted you used to practice kissing on your pillow.”

“I-I what?!” Nanaki does not remember saying that. God, what else has he done whilst drunk that he’s forgotten about? He seriously needs to learn how to handle it better. Maybe he should ask Ten for some tips.

“Anyway, what about you?” Ushio asks, his voice unusually quiet.

“M-Me?”

“Why did you say you were my boyfriend?”

Why did he say that? Nanaki isn’t quite sure himself. “Um, that’s… I just panicked, okay? It was the quickest way I could think to get you out of there.”

“I didn’t need to get out of there, though,” Ushio mumbles. “I was fone.”

“Oh, well, as long as you’re fone,” Nanaki mocks.

Ushio elbows him. “Shut up.”

Eventually, they reach their apartment block. Nanaki is terribly reluctant to let go of Ushio’s hand, but he does so anyway to unlock the door. Once inside, he ushers him to sit on the sofa then brings him a glass of cold water. “Here. Drink up.”

Ushio mumbles a thanks, using both hands to take a sip. Does he even know how endearing he is?

Nanaki sits beside him, slumping back against the sofa. He feels a lot better now that Ushio is here with him. He sends a quick text to Muneuji to update him on the situation, then switches the television on to some reality show he knows neither of them are going to pay attention to. Just as Nanaki closes his eyes mid-yawn, he feels a slight weight fall into his lap. When he looks down, Ushio is resting his head there, eyes trained on the TV.

Nanaki smiles, gently placing a hand on top of his hair and carding his fingers through it. “Ushio?”

“Mm?”

“Why did you decide to go out tonight? It’s rare for you to get drunk in front of us, so why would you go out with those people?”

It takes a minute or so for Ushio to respond. “…your fault.”

“Huh?”

“It’s your fault, you idiot panda!”

From where Nanaki’s hand is, he can feel the heat emitting from Ushio’s skin. He isn’t sure whether it’s from the lingering effects of the alcohol or embarrassment. It’s likely a mix of both. “What? What did I do?”

Ushio sighs. “…The other day, you invited the chief over without asking me first.”

Nanaki furrows his eyebrows. “…Is that it? I thought you liked Kaede-san?”

“Kaede-san, Kaede-san, Kaede-san. That’s chief to you, Panda. I could see the way you looked at him over dinner,” Ushio scoffs.

“Whatever you thought you saw, you were wrong. I don’t like him like that anymore.” It’s true. He really doesn’t. It may have taken him at least a year, but he has moved on romantically. In fact, he hasn’t liked anybody since he got over Kaede. He isn’t sure why, because prior to that he would fall in love at the drop of a hat. Now it’s almost as if something is holding him back.

“I don’t believe you.”

“I really don’t! Besides, he’s dating Oguro-san. Considering their history, I never stood a chance in the first place.”

Ushio clicks his teeth. “See! You do still like him!”

“I don’t!” Nanaki exclaims. “Why are you being so unreasonable?”

Let’s review the facts: Ushio got upset that Nanaki invited Kaede over without asking him first. He also believes that Nanaki still has feelings for Kaede. So he decided to go out drinking with some classmates to… upset Nanaki? Hold on.

“…Are you jealous?”

Ushio freezes up. “What?”

“You were kinda like this when we had our D-BATTLE too. Although, I was being pretty stupid back then…” Nanaki trails off. At that time, he upset Ushio because he prioritised his feelings towards Kaede over his feelings towards Ushio. Maybe he thinks he’s doing the same thing again..? “Sorry, Ushio. Next time, I’ll ask beforehand. But in exchange, you can’t just go out drinking with whoever.”

Ushio rolls over, moving a hand up to cling onto Nanaki’s shirt. “…Shut up, idiot.”

“What?”

“Just shut up. Stop talking. Idiot,” Ushio mumbles, hiding his face in Nanaki’s shirt.

“Is that the only insult you’ve got?” Nanaki laughs, gently stroking Ushio’s hair. “You know, I heard a new aquarium opened up in Akuta’s ward. Wanna go check it out this weekend?”

A moment passes, and then Ushio nods. Nanaki smiles down at him.

Kaede is getting married.

Nanaki is happy for him. Really, truly happy. A few years ago, he might not have been able to say that. His love had been a raging fire, with the smoke poisoning his lungs to the point where he felt like he wouldn’t be able to breathe. But he’s long since doused those flames and learned how to breathe on his own, without longing for the press of lips on his own to resuscitate him. His vision may get a little cloudy when it comes to Ushio, but that’s manageable. Somewhat. Whatever it is, it’s not the same.

“Cheers!” Nanaki clinks his glass against Kaede’s. The two of them are sitting at the bar in Yumejuuya, Kaede’s engagement ring glistening on his finger. Nanaki doesn’t want to think about how much Kafka spent on it. The number would probably send him into shock.

“Congratulations again, Kaede-san,” Nanaki says, taking a sip of his espresso martini. “How does it feel to be engaged?”

“Thank you! It still feels like a dream. I couldn’t be happier,” Kaede replies with a smitten grin. He’s practically glowing, and something about it strangely relaxes Nanaki. “To be honest, I kinda suspected this was gonna happen any time now. Just a gut feeling or something.”

“Really?”

Kaede nods, tracing his finger along the rim of his glass. “Yeah. I’ve known since, um, a few weeks into our relationship that I wanted to marry Kafka. He’s been part of my life for such a long time already, and I still haven’t gotten enough of him. I don’t think I ever will.”

“That’s nice. You’re lucky to have found someone like that,” Nanaki murmurs.

“I am,” Kaede says, his expression sickeningly sweet. “What about you, Nanaki-kun? How are things going with Ushio?”

Nanaki furrows his brow. “With Ushio…?”

Kaede nods. “It’s probably a bit early for you to start thinking about marriage, but I guess when you know, you know.”

It’s safe to say that Nanaki is extremely, extremely confused. “Wait, what? Why would I be marrying Ushio?”

“...Aren’t you two dating?” Kaede asks innocuously.

“Dating?!” Nanaki exclaims. “No, we’re not!”

Kaede’s mouth opens and closes a few times, then his whole face flushes pink. “I-I’m so sorry! I really thought you two were together!”

“W-Why would you think that?!” For some reason, Nanaki’s heart is pounding in his chest.

“I-It’s just that you two have always been so close! You have a connection that I don’t think you share with anyone else. Even though you’re constantly bickering, your, um, affection for one another shines through in the things that you pick out,” Kaede explains rapidly, gesturing his hands about as he does so. “I told you once before that I envied that kind of bond, right? I get along with Kafka most of the time, but when we do fight I find myself thinking, ah, this reminds me of Nanaki-kun and Ushio-kun…”

“Dating… Ushio…” Nanaki murmurs, covering his mouth with his hand. He can feel the heat radiating from his usually cool skin. Despite being the way he is, he’s never really considered Ushio as a potential romantic partner. Not because he’s undateable or anything, but rather because he’s such a safe space for Nanaki that he didn’t want to ruin it by falling in love with him.

But now that he thinks about it, he may be well past that point. The inability to keep Ushio off of his mind, the jealousy that pools in his stomach when he hangs out with other people, the ease in his heart when they’re together, the sick desire to keep him all to himself…

“O-Of course, my observations could be wrong! It’s just something I’ve thought for a while now, especially because you’ve kept living together for three years and you’ve been joined at the hip ever since…” Kaede continues. “Despite your harsh words, in the end, you always have each other’s back. Isn’t that exactly what you’d want from a partner?”

Once upon a time, Nanaki remembers believing that perhaps he’ll become an old man without ever truly connecting with someone. Then Ushio came along and proved him wrong.

“I’m… in love with Ushio,” Nanaki mumbles, testing the words on his tongue. “I’m in love with Ushio.”

Kaede offers him a comforting smile. “Is that so?”

“Thank you, Kaede-san. I can’t believe it took me this long to realise.” Nanaki downs the rest of his martini for a little liquid courage. He’ll be fine. One drink isn’t enough for him to start forgetting things. “...Sorry. Is it okay if I leave a little early?”

“Of course!” Kaede gives him a thumbs up. “Good luck, Nanaki-kun. I hope you find your happiness.”

Nanaki leaves the bar after paying for his drink, pulling out his phone to call Ushio as he makes his way to the train station.

Ushio picks up almost immediately. “Panda. What’s up?”

“Where are you right now?”

“Huh? I’m at the grocery store. You should know this.” That’s right. Today is Friday. They take turns each week doing the grocery shopping, and it was Nanaki’s turn last week. Maybe the alcohol is getting to his head.

“Can you meet me at the park near our apartment when you’re done?”

“Why? I thought you were catching up with the chief.”

“Something came up,” Nanaki says. “I really need to see you, Ushio. Please?”

On the other end of the line, Ushio sighs loudly. He does that when he wants Nanaki to know something is a bother, but he always goes through with it anyway. “...Fine. I’ll be there soon.”

After what is quite possibly the longest train ride of Nanaki’s life, he finally arrives at the stop closest to their home. He assumes Ushio would have gone back to drop off the shopping first, but the park is only a five minute walk from their house, so even if Nanaki arrives first he shouldn’t have to wait long. He breaks into a run as soon as he makes it past the turnstiles, apologising as he weaves through pedestrians.

Ushio. Ushio. Ushio.

Ushio, who once skipped out on a Patibattle collab cafe that he’d been excited about for weeks to stay home and take care of a sick Nanaki. Ushio, who spends his days off volunteering at animal shelters. Ushio, who went out and bought him a new guitar case after he complained about the handles fraying. Ushio, who Nanaki loves more than anything.

Ushio, who is standing some fifty feet away from Nanaki, absentmindedly checking his nails as he awaits Nanaki’s arrival.

“Ushio!” Nanaki calls, speeding up to close the distance between them.

“There you are,” Ushio says, tucking his phone into his pocket. “Why are you in such a rush? What’s wro–”

“The moon…!” Nanaki gasps, finally coming to a stop in front of him.

Ushio raises an eyebrow. “Huh?”

Nanaki leans down to catch his breath for a moment, then stands at his full height to face Ushio head-on. “The moon is beautiful tonight, isn’t it…?”

“What?” Ushio says, tilting his head quizzically. Then it seems to click in his head, and a beautiful shade of red spreads from his cheeks down to his neck. “W-What are you saying?!”

“I’m sorry it took me this long to realise.” Nanaki reaches out and gently take’s Ushio’s hands in his. “I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re… really annoying, and you know exactly how to push all my buttons, but it’s because of that that you’re irreplaceable to me. If I didn’t have you in my life, I’d be, like, insanely lonely. Um, I think it’s kind of stupid that you go out of your way to buy separate toiletries from me even though we’re both guys, but at the same time it’s really endearing because it makes you distinct, you know? And it’s sweet how you always put a couple of sweets aside for me even when you’re making them for someone else. Your face, is, well… you’re super handsome, and, uh–”

“Nanaki!” Ushio interrupts, his cheeks somehow flushed darker than before. “Stop talking. Get to the point.”

With a small smile, Nanaki takes a deep breath. “Um, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m in love with you, Ushio. Would you please go out with me?”

“You…” Ushio looks up at Nanaki with a rare, gentle gaze, taking a step closer to him. “Even though you leave your clothes in the bathroom after you shower, you’re a terrible driver, you leave your cups all over the damn place, and you still sleep with your stuffed goat even though you’re a grown man… I fell in love with you too. So, uh, I guess… I could go out with you. If you insist on it.”

“Really?” Nanaki breathes. “Like, really really?”

“Yes, really. Don’t make me say it again,” Ushio mumbles, averting his gaze.

“Thank goodness…!” Nanaki brings their clasped hands up to his mouth, pressing a gentle kiss to Ushio’s warm skin. “I’m so happy. I’m seriously so happy…”

“Quit that,” Ushio says, but he’s biting back a smile.

Nanaki ponders his next words. “...Can I kiss you?”

“Wh–” Ushio’s eyes widen. He takes a minute, then wets his lips with his tongue. “Y-Yeah… Go ahead.”

Carefully, as if Ushio may break beneath his touch, Nanaki cups Ushio’s face in his hands. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” Ushio whispers, placing his hands on top of Nanaki’s. “I like that you run cold. It always made it a little easier on me.”

Tenderly, Nanaki nuzzles his nose against Ushio’s before closing the gap between them. Ushio’s lips are as soft as Nanaki always imagined they’d be. He can feel the soft tickle of Ushio’s breath beneath his nose, his hands moving upwards to card through Nanaki’s hair. He kisses Ushio as though he’s been waiting for this moment his entire life. Which, in some ways, he has.

Ushio is the first to pull away, his face flushed and his breathing shaky. He’s so beautiful. Nanaki can’t believe he’s been missing out on this. He drops his head onto Ushio’s shoulder with a muffled laugh that comes out sounding more like a sob.

“Oi, don’t start crying,” Ushio says, but he continues to stroke Nanaki’s hair. “...That was nice.”

“It was,” Nanaki says, pressing his face into Ushio’s neck and wrapping his arms around his waist. “I’m sorry it took so long for me to realise. You’ve liked me for a while, right?”

“W-Who knows?”

“Back in high school, when I gave you that love letter, you thought it was from me for a moment, right?” Nanaki asks, raising his head. “You seemed disappointed when I said it was from a classmate, because you did have someone you liked. Me.”

“You remember that?! Weirdo...” Ushio scoffs.

Nanaki smirks. “Oh, please. As if you haven’t watched me sleep before.”

“Huh?! What are you–”

“You would come into my room when you thought I was asleep and just stand there. I don’t know if you took pictures or what, but I think that was pretty strange of you.”

“I was not! Shut up!” Ushio insists, lightly hitting Nanaki’s shoulder. “My bad for liking your face, I guess.”

“I like your face too,” Nanaki says, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. “So, what’s for dinner?”