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Tim knew she needed her space but it was so hard to leave Lucy alone.
He'd told her it's gonna be OK and it will be, but not tonight. Tonight will be hard.
For now, he knew he needed to let her be so he made himself go through his night time routine... He changed into pyjama trousers and a soft t-shirt, brushed his teeth, drew the curtains and pulled back the covers then lay on their bed, arms crossed behind his head. Feeling lost. Waiting. He listened out for her but he couldn't hear anything beyond the usual creaks of the house at night.
He sighed deeply and let his mind wander. He must have dozed off because the next thing he knew, he was waking up. He checked next to him but Lucy wasn't there. He peered at the time... It had been long enough.
Tim eased out of bed and padded down the hall towards the lounge. He peered round the corner and there she was... She looked so small right at the end of the couch, legs up and chin resting on her knees. She stared, glassy eyed. His heart broke for her.
He made his way towards her and she didn't move, didn't seem to register his presence until he touched her, lifting her legs slightly so he could slide beneath them.
Then she looked at him and tears welled in her eyes as her chin quivered. She looked so lost, so broken. Tim reached out his arms and pulled her into his lap as she broke down, clutching at his shirt and burying her face in his chest as she sobbed.
He simply put his arms around her, enveloping her in his hug, hoping she could feel his love as he planted a soft kiss to her head and whispered soothing sounds into her hair.
For a long moment they stayed like that, him letting her feel and release the weight of the day. Eventually her sobs slowed, though her breath still hitched with the memory of them. Tim made his breathing slow and deliberate, willing her to match him and stroking her hair gently as she finally calmed.
Lucy lifted her head and he loosened his arms so he could see her face as she peered up at him. "Sorry" she whispered. His chest tightened "you have nothing to be sorry for. Today was so hard and you are allowed to feel that". She nodded slightly and sniffed as she laid her cheek against his chest, listening to his heart.
It was quiet and dark and they just sat there together, breathing and thinking, Lucy fidgeting slightly with the sleeves of her oversized sweatshirt. Tim felt her begin to relax more and her breath deepen. "You ready to sleep?" he enquired. He felt her nod sleepily against him and he smiled. Dropping a kiss to her head he stood, scooping her up with him. Any other day she'd have protested this, laughing and kicking and swatting at him but today she was quiet and still and allowed him to carry her to their room.
He set her down gently on the edge of the bed and cupped her face carefully so he could see her. "What do you need?" he asked softly. She met his eyes but just shrugged slightly and didn't speak.
Tim thought for a moment. "I think you'll be too hot sleeping in that sweatshirt", he got her one of his old t-shirts out, it was worn and soft and he knew she loved to sleep in it. He offered it to her and she took it but stayed where she was, clutching it to her lap. "Do you need help?" he asked. She nodded and he reached out to help her gently out of her hoodie. She winced and hissed through her teeth as she brought her arms through the sleeves - her injuries from the attack beginning to make themselves known. Tim apologised and moved slowly as he helped her undress and slip on his t-shirt.
Next he took her hands and pulled her gently to her feet, guiding her to the bathroom. He ran a cloth under warm water as she brushed her teeth then wiped her face so gently, trying not to put pressure on her bruised cheeks. He removed her bun, smoothing her hair and she was ready. She let him lead her back to the bed and climbed in carefully as he held back the covers. Sliding in next to her he opened his arms and she came to him willingly, nestling against his chest, her head tucked under his chin. "Thank you" she murmured and she sounded so tired. "That's what I'm here for" he whispered into her hair, "now sleep" and he wrapped her in his arms and breathed deeply. Tim waited for her to drift off, getting heavy against him before he let his own eyes shut.
It was the noise that woke him. He couldn't place it at first until he felt Lucy quiver against him. When he peered down at her he saw she was in the throws of a nightmare, whimpering and thrashing, her eyes moving under the lids as tears leaked out even as she slept.
"Lucy?" Tim tried to wake her. "Hey, Lucy? Luce? You're dreaming, wake up" He grabbed her hands which were hitting out as she fought her dream. "No... no..., please", her voice was high and thick with tears and sleep. "Lucy? You are safe, you need to wake up". Tim continued to call her name and shake her gently. With a sharp intake of breath, Lucy finally lurched awake, breathing hard, eyes searching as she tried to work out where she was. "Hey, you're OK, you're safe" Tim said as her eyes finally found his face and she exhaled with relief. "You were dreaming, it was just a dream, ok?"
"I was back there" she whispered, "in the tunnels."
Tim waited. "I cou... I couldn't stop him, he was too big... too strong" her panic started to rise again and a tear rolled down her cheek. "Hey, it's over, you aren't there, you're safe. I'm right here" Tim brushed the tear away with his thumb gently and kissed her forehead. "just breathe... breathe, it's OK." He watched as Lucy tried to breathe deeply, keeping her eyes on his. "Why did this have to happen?" she asked quietly. Tim sighed. "I don't know... but we'll get through it. OK?"
"OK" she said doubtfully and she stretched her arm around him, pulling him in so she could clamp herself to him, nuzzling into his chest. Tim reciprocated, returning the hug and kissing her hair.
"I love you" Lucy whispered against him. Tim smiled and breathed her in. "I love you, too. Do you think you can sleep again? It'll help". Lucy squeezed him "I'm not sure but I don't want to move". Tim squeezed back, "that's good, just stay there and close your eyes. I'm not going anywhere".