Chapter Text
Episode One: The Week Before
December didn’t feel like how it was supposed to.
It wasn’t just the cold, even though that part hit the hardest, biting at Belly’s cheeks the second she stepped out of the car that morning. It was everything else. The way the sky stayed gray even when it wasn’t snowing. The way people rushed more, talked less. The way everything felt like it was winding down instead of beginning.
She pulled her sleeves over her hands as she walked into school, already counting.
Six days.
Six days until she saw Conrad.
That was the only part that felt real.
The rest of it, Christmas coming, finals, her mom talking about decorating the tree that night, it all felt like background noise. Like something she was supposed to care about, but didn’t quite.
Because this wasn’t how she had imagined it.
For as long as she could remember, Christmas had always lived in the same place as summer in her head. Cousins. The beach. The house. Him.
Even before Conrad had ever been hers, she’d pictured it. Snow outside the big windows, the house quieter than in July, just them in sweatshirts instead of swimsuits. Maybe sitting too close on the couch, his arm brushing hers like it didn’t mean anything, even though it did.
Now he was hers.
And she wasn’t spending Christmas with him.
She’d nodded when her mom started making plans weeks ago, pretending it didn’t matter. Pretending she hadn’t thought about it at all.
She hadn’t told Conrad either.
She didn’t know how to explain something that sounded so small but didn’t feel small at all.
———-
Her phone buzzed in her pocket just as she slipped into her seat in class.
Her heart did that stupid, automatic thing, jumping before she even checked.
It was him.
Conrad:
This week is already too long
Belly smiled before she could stop herself, dropping her bag to the floor and angling her phone under the desk.
Belly:
It’s literally Monday morning
The three dots came fast.
Always fast, lately. Like he was there, like he wasn’t somewhere far away doing his own thing, forgetting to answer.
Conrad:
Exactly my point
She bit down on her lip, trying not to look like an idiot smiling at her phone in the middle of class.
Outside, a few snowflakes had started falling, barely anything, just enough to notice if you were looking for it.
She was.
Belly:
You’re the one who decided this weekend. You did this to yourself
There was a pause this time. Longer than before.
Not long enough to mean anything.
But still, she noticed.
She always noticed.
Then—
Conrad:
Worth it
Her chest softened a little at that.
Worth it.
Like seeing her was something he had to wait for, too. Like this wasn’t just her counting days.
She leaned back in her chair, pretending to copy notes off the board while her mind drifted somewhere else—somewhere quieter, colder in a different way.
Cousins in December.
She still couldn’t fully picture it, even after he’d told her.
————
(Flashback)
They’d been on the phone the night before, both of them quieter than usual, like neither wanted to hang up first.
“Have you ever seen it in the winter?” he’d asked, out of nowhere.
She’d frowned, tucking the phone closer to her ear. “Cousins? No. We always left before it got cold.”
“Yeah.” A pause. She could hear him breathing on the other end, like he was thinking. “It’s… different.”
“How?”
Another pause. Longer this time.
“Quieter,” he said finally. “Like everything slows down. No one’s really there. Just the house, the beach. It doesn’t feel like summer at all.”
Belly had tried to imagine it then, but it felt impossible. Cousins was noise and light and movement. It was Susannah’s laughter echoing through the house, Jeremiah blasting music, Steven complaining about sand everywhere.
She didn’t know what it looked like without all that.
“I think you’d like it,” Conrad added, softer. “In December.”
Something in the way he said it made her heart twist.
Like this wasn’t just about showing her something new.
Like it meant something more.
“You’re inviting me?” she asked, even though she already knew the answer.
“Yeah,” he said. Then, after a second, quieter, “I want you to see it.”
Not come if you want.
Not it might be fun.
I want you to see it.
Belly had stared at her ceiling, her heart beating too fast for something that should’ve felt simple.
“Okay,” she said, trying to sound normal.
But she’d been smiling into the dark for a long time after they hung up.
———
Back in class, her phone buzzed again.
Conrad:
Thursday you’ll be packing
Her stomach flipped.
Belly:
Don’t remind me. I haven’t even decided what to bring
Conrad:
Warm clothes would be a good start
She rolled her eyes, even though he couldn’t see her.
Belly:
Wow. Thanks. Super helpful
A second.
Then—
Conrad:
I can lend you stuff
Her fingers stilled on the screen.
It shouldn’t have been a big deal.
But it was.
Because she could picture it too clearly, wearing his sweatshirt, the sleeves too long, smelling like him in a way that made everything feel closer.
More real.
Belly:
You just want your clothes back after
The typing bubble appeared immediately.
Conrad:
Not really
Her breath caught, just a little.
She stared at the message, rereading it even though it was only two words.
Not really.
Like he meant it.
Like he didn’t mind her keeping pieces of him.
Her chest tightened, not in a bad way, just… full.
She glanced up at the board again, realizing she hadn’t written anything down in the last five minutes.
“Isabel?” her teacher said sharply.
Belly straightened, heat rushing to her face. “Sorry—um—yeah.”
A few people turned to look at her. She quickly dropped her gaze back to her notebook, pretending to catch up.
Her phone buzzed again.
She didn’t check it this time.
Not right away.
But she could feel it there, waiting.
———
By lunch, the snow had stopped, leaving behind that dull, gray slush that never felt as magical as it was supposed to.
Belly sat with Taylor, half-listening as she talked about some party happening later that week.
“…and you’re coming,” Taylor was saying, pointing a fry at her like it was a threat.
“I can’t,” Belly said, picking at her food. “I’m going away this weekend, I have to pack.”
“Where?” Taylor asked, narrowing her eyes.
Belly hesitated for half a second.
Then—“Cousins.”
Taylor’s expression shifted immediately. “With Conrad?”
Belly tried to act casual. “Yeah. Just for the weekend.”
“Just the weekend,” Taylor repeated, like she didn’t believe her. “Alone?”
Belly shrugged, even though her heart sped up again at the word.
“Yeah.”
Taylor leaned back, studying her. “Okay. That’s… kind of a big deal.”
“It’s not,” Belly said quickly.
But it was.
They both knew it.
Because this wasn’t summer.
This wasn’t group dinners and late nights and everyone around all the time.
This was just them.
Taylor smirked slightly. “You’re nervous.”
“I’m not nervous,” Belly insisted.
Taylor raised an eyebrow.
Belly exhaled, dropping her gaze. “Okay, maybe a little.”
“Why?” Taylor asked, softer now.
Belly didn’t answer right away.
Because she didn’t know how to explain it.
How being with Conrad now felt different than it had in the summer. Back then, everything had been bright and easy and a little unreal, like she was stepping into something she’d wanted for so long that she didn’t question it.
Now—
Now it was real.
Now there were quiet moments. Long silences. Things unsaid.
Now there was the part of him that still pulled away sometimes.
“I just…” Belly trailed off, then shook her head. “It’s nothing.”
Taylor didn’t push.
But her look said she didn’t believe that either.
———
That night, Belly lay on her bed, her room dim except for the soft glow of her phone.
The house smelled like cinnamon and something baking downstairs. Her mom had music playing, old Christmas songs that felt the same every year.
Everything felt the same.
Except her.
Her messages with Conrad were open again.
She’d answered him eventually in class.
But now, staring at the screen, it felt different.
Quieter.
Her thumb hovered over the keyboard.
There were things she wanted to say.
About Christmas.
About how she’d always imagined spending it with him.
About how this weekend, this one weekend, felt like it was standing in for something bigger she wasn’t getting.
She swallowed, typing—
Belly:
What’s it like? Cousins in December
The reply took longer this time.
A minute.
Two.
Her chest tightened just slightly with each second.
Then—
Conrad:
Cold
She smiled faintly.
Of course.
Another message came through.
Conrad:
The water looks darker. And the house is quieter. You can hear everything more
She read that twice.
You can hear everything more.
“Everything like what?” she typed back.
This time, he answered faster.
Conrad:
The waves. The wind. Yourself, I guess
Her breath caught on that.
Yourself.
She turned onto her side, pulling the blanket up to her chin.
“Why do you want me to see it?” she typed, before she could overthink it.
The typing bubble appeared.
Stopped.
Appeared again.
Her heart started beating faster, even though she didn’t know why.
Then—
Conrad:
Because it’s my favorite version of it
A pause.
Another message.
Conrad:
And I want you there
Belly closed her eyes for a second, her chest tightening in that same full, aching way.
He didn’t say things like that often.
Not directly.
Not without a layer of something else over it.
But this—
This felt clear.
She let out a slow breath, opening her eyes again.
Belly:
Okay
It wasn’t enough.
It didn’t say everything she felt.
But it was all she could manage without everything spilling over.
A few seconds later—
Conrad:
Six days!
She smiled, softer this time.
“Six days,” she whispered to herself, setting her phone down beside her.
Outside, the wind picked up slightly, rattling the window just enough to hear.
She wondered what it sounded like at Cousins.
If it felt different there.
If she’d feel different there.
If being with him, really with him, without everything else would make things easier.
Or harder.
But she didn’t let herself go that far.
Not yet.
For now, she focused on the simple part.
Six days.
And then it would just be them.
Finally.