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The first 12 years of Iroh’s life, he was the perfect prince, the golden son, and a lonely child. Aside from the rare training sessions with his father and the occasional family dinner (which consisted of a rather large stack of scrolls to read and laws to be signed by the Fire Lord, the quiet, practically non-extistent Fire Lady, and the faint chopstick scrapes of a bored prince) he was pretty much always alone.
Loneliness in the Fire Palace was simply a given, especially when you’re the Crown Prince. Iroh went to Fire Bending practice in the mornings and his tutoring sessions in the evenings. What little free time he had was spent practicing his Fire Bending and choosing his words carefully for the next time his father summoned him. Sure sometimes he felt like he was missing something, especially when he saw the servant children running around together, laughing and playing.
Okay so maybe Iroh wanted someone like that to play with, but it was just a want not a need. He could live without getting the things he wanted. Besides, he had more important matters to think of, like his upcoming Fire Bending Mastery, his upcoming exams, and the whole war currently happening.
Those were things he had to think about.
The other thing he needed to think about was the fire currently being thrown at him in the middle of the night.
Assasination attempts came with being part of the Royal Family. The Fire Lord has dodged assasination attempts pretty much every year of his reign. Iroh was no stranger to the screams of Earth Kingdom rebels or Fire Nation traitors from his father’s quarters as they burned to a crisp.
These attempts never made the Fire Lord look any less regal than he always did. In the morning after such attempts he merely strolled out as though nothing had happened and went right back to ordering around servants and reading through reports.
As Iroh narrowly dodges a fireball and blasts his own, he has to wonder whether the Fire Lord ever struggles with fighting like he currently is. Another fireball and then a fire whip cracks over his head.
“If I hadn’t ducked my head would’ve split in two-” Iroh thinks
Fuck this was bad. Where are the guards??
Another fire whip, this time to his legs. Iroh feels the warmth from the flames graze his leg for just a second before jumping.
He’s panting and his room is hot- was his room always this hot?
His head hurts and his chest feels heavy.
“Sparring sessions are never this brutal.” He thinks numbly
Of course, during sparring sessions no one is aiming to actually kill him like this intruder was.
More flames, something -his bed probably- is on fire, and finally, finally, the guards are here. There’s shouting, maybe even someone crying, and suddenly the fire dies down and the intruder is quickly taken down.
A guard asks him a question but his mind is blank.
He almost died. He is 12 years old, the Crown Prince -the only prince- of the greatest nation in the world, and someone just tried to kill him.
Iroh faints.
When Iroh wakes up, he’s on a bed that is not his own (right, his was on fire) and the Fire Lord and Fire Lady are sitting beside him.
“You’re awake. Good.” Father states, and if Iroh didn’t know any better he’d say his father even looks pleased. It makes his heart speed up, to know that his father seemed worried about him. Perhaps he should faint more often?
Although one look at his distressed mother wipes the thought clear from his mind.
“My son, my baby.” She’s saying and hugging him and kissing him all over
“Calm down, Illah. He’s not dead.” Father says though he makes no move to stop her
Still, Mother calms herself and whisks a stray strand of black hair behind her ear, “Yes, he’s not dead. You fought that traitor marvelously, my son.”
Iroh doesn’t think but he thanks her nonetheless.
“But..but still, someone tried to kill you…Azulon, dear, the traitor went for our son.”
“I know that.”
“What does that mean for the baby-”
“What baby?” Iroh asks. There are no babies in the Fire Palace.
Azulon gives him a once over and turns to his wife, "We're having another son.”
Iroh’s mother gets a funny look on her face and his father hurries to add, “Or daughter. Either. Both. Doesn’t matter.”
The Fire Lady nods approvingly and turns to Iroh, “I know this must a lot to take in-”
It wasn’t really. Iroh would be having a little brother or sister. Iroh was going to be a big brother. Seems simple enough.
Then it hits him, Iroh was going to be a big brother. There would be a new addition to the Royal Family, someone new to be added to the line of succession, a little tot would be running around the palace potentially encountering the wrath of a traitor or rebel to liven up the place.
“Oh,” He finally breathes out and why is his face wet?
Mother wipes his tears, smiles, and kisses his forehead, Father meanwhile looks conflicted by the display of emotion but ends up patting his head.
They leave him soon after that, Mother to her study and Father to his empire and Iroh is left with his thoughts.
A little brother or sister! Finally, someone for Iroh to play, smile, and laugh with. Someone who would look up to Iroh as though he hung the stars in the sky and ask him all sorts of questions and Iroh, why, he would answer each and every one of them.
He can almost see it, a sister that would play with his hair, a brother that would fall in love with dragon stories like Iroh once did. Would his sister steal sweets with Iroh? Would his brother like hotcakes?
One thing was for sure, Iroh would love them and they would love Iroh. Then, when he becomes Fire Lord his new sibling will be by his side as he rules.
Ozai is his new little brother's name. His father -their father- had named him as soon as the nurse came out holding him.
Iroh only got to see him for a second before the nurse pulled him back into the room his mother is in. He isn’t too sure about what the nurses are doing right now but he wishes they would hurry it up.
He wants to see his mother and brother, and honestly, doesn’t want to be alone with his father.
It’s not like he hasn’t been alone with his father before but those times were only ever for Fire Bending practices or demonstrations. Right now they’re both just…sitting.
Maybe his father has enough of the uncomfortable silence because he speaks up, “I need you to be aware that he -Ozai that is- is the spare prince. A prince yes, but still a spare. Just in case anything happens to you.”
Iroh stiffens, not from the implication that something could happen to him, he’s already survived one assination attempt and in a few years he would go out to war (if said war wasn’t over by then), no he stiffens at how carelessly his father disregards his second son.
Does he just…not care about Ozai as anything more than a prince? But..but that's his son. Just like Iroh.
“Except,” The little voice in Iroh’s head thinks, “You’re the Crown Prince. It’s not like Ozai will ever be destined for any greatness. He will be a mere footnote in history books while half-asleep students study the Fire Nation Royal Family.
The Fire Lord turns to him “Don’t disappoint me.”
Iroh is saved from having to respond by a frantic nurse running through the doors, “The Prince! Prince Ozai!”
The Fire Lord rises quickly, “What?! What’s happened to him?!”
“He’s not crying, he’s too quiet for a baby. His heart is weak, we can barely feel a pulse-”
Iroh doesn’t let her finish, he pushes her out of the way and bursts into the hospital room, his father on his heels.
Somewhere in the back of his mind Iroh realizes he’s breaking protocol by walking -or in this case, running- in front of the Fire Lord but he can’t bring himself to care. Not when his little brother could..could be dying.
As soon as Iroh gets into the hospital room he’s met with his crying mother and frantic maids. A nurse pushes him right back out the room mumbling something about medicine and time.
The Fire Lord stays because he’s the Fire Lord but apparently the Crown Prince isn’t given the same privilege.
Ozai is a sick child. Not that Iroh gets to be around him much but from what little he knows, Ozai is yet to cry or whine and his pulse was still weak. He doesn’t eat much either no matter how much Mother and the nurses try.
“He might not survive until the end of the week.” The nurses whisper when they think no one will hear (except Iroh has known for years that walls have ears).
Iroh spends any free time he has praying at the temple. When he wakes up he begs for his little brother to survive, when he is done with his lessons he prays, when he’s done with Fire Bending practice he runs to the temple without bothering to shower away any sweat and grime. That is his routine for 3 days. He wakes up on the fourth day ready to pray in his room when a servant gently opens his door and informs him that a miracle occurred.
Ozai cries.
Mother cries too. Out of pain. She’s running a high fever, higher than normal for any Firebender or non bender. Sometimes, Iroh will go to see her and find her mouth full of blood and nurses running around. On one such day, when the blood is gone and the nurses have calmed down, Iroh sits by her side with his brother - barely 2 weeks old- in his crib. Iroh draws circles in his mothers palm. She squeezes it and her lips move but Iroh can make out no words. She lets go of his hand and it takes him a moment to realize that he feels no pulse.
Then she dies, and it is only later, after his father has banished the doctor and nurses meant to look after her, after Father gave Ozai a look full of hatred and fury, after they are dressed in white and Mother’s body is cremated, that Iroh realizes he forgot to pray for his mother.
Ozai is annoying. Iroh almost feels bad for thinking it but it’s true. His brother was learning to walk now and took every chance he had to wobble away when no one was looking. His brother, Iroh noticed, loved to spook people when they noticed him missing.
“At least he’s improving my situational awareness.” Iroh thinks
Another thing Iroh has noticed is what a dreary place the Fire Palace is. With its blood red walls and even redder curtains, it looked like something out of a horror book. Old statues and gold treasure decorate the halls, making it pretty much impossible to run around without breaking some priceless artifact. What had to be the worst thing, in Iroh’s opinion, was the portraits of past Fire Lords that lined the halls. It was as though they were judging your every move from beyond the grave.
“When I become Fire Lord,” Iroh thinks, “I’m gonna be smiling in my portrait.”
He might even hold a tea cup and tea pot in it or even something else like a sword. He wasn’t going to be too picky so long as it wasn’t a dead body like in his Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandfather’s portrait.
Iroh shivered. Just thinking about it gave him the creeps.
“Let’s go Ozai.” Iroh looks around, “Ozai?”
Oh fiddle sticks.
He’ll spend the rest of the day looking for his brother. By the time he finds him the sun is already setting and Iroh is ready to explode. Except, when he does find his brother, he’s smiling and squealing and his mouth is covered in chocolate. Iroh feels the anger slip away.
“Haha.” Iroh rolls his eyes but he smiles. How could anyone get angry at something this cute?
He bends down to wipe the chocolate away, “Brat,” He mumbles, “Could’ve at least saved me some.”
Ozai laughs again and Iroh feels his smile widen.
Yes the Fire Palace is quite the dreary place with its bloody walls, and gold decorations, and judging, dead eyes. None of that mattered when there were two princes -two brothers- there to liven it up.
In the Fire Palace children were born and out of it emerged cold-hearted soldiers. One day Iroh would leave for war, but for now, he was content with playing with his little brother.
“Why does Father hate me?” 5 year old Ozai asked
Iroh sucks in a breath because why is a 5 year old asking him this?
Iroh chooses his words carefully, “He doesn’t hate you. He’s just strict with you because he loves you.”
Ozai huffs, evidently this was not the answer he wanted and then stomped away.
Well, what did he want him to say? “Yes, Father hates you because he believes your birth is responsible for Mother’s death.”?
Iroh is 18 when he summons lightning for the first time. He could’ve gotten it earlier, he knew he could’ve, but Fire Lord Azulon refused to let him try his hand at cold fire until he was 17. He’s pretty mad that he isn’t the youngest person in the Royal Family to summon lightning. Both Fire Lord Sozin and Fire Lord Azulon did it at 17.. (Ozai will do it at 16).
Iroh was probably the family disappointment. He knows logically he isn’t. He’s powerful. Much more powerful than anyone else his age. But still…he wanted, he needed, to be better, stronger.
The next time he presents his bending to his Father he remembers that rage and uses it to fuel his fire.
Fire Lord Azulon still praises him immensely when he sees cold fire dancing at the tips of Iroh’s fingers so he decides that it isn’t a complete loss.
He only wishes he hadn’t missed the furious jealousy that crossed over Ozai’s face before he came to congratulate him.
Iroh notices that their relationship is a bit strained after that. Iroh is 18 and Ozai is 7. Too young to possibly comprehend any school stress Iroh was feeling, any faint worry about the war, and the immense sadness he felt when he saw their soldiers injured and dead. On top of all of that Iroh was preparing for his mandatory military service years. He would spend 2 years in the Earth Kingdom waging war until he returned home to continue his studies.
He was busy. Ozai just wanted to play around. He tries, he really tries to not get too mad, to remind himself that Ozai is yet to mature and that he was allowed to act like the child he is, but it’s hard.
*
*
*
Ozai hangs off of Iroh’s arm as though he’s a swing, “So you have to go?” Like 100%.”
“For the hundredth, yes, I 100% have to go. It’s mandatory military service every Fire Bender has to go through. You’ll go one day too.”
“What if the ship burns thoooough."
Iroh resists the urge to sigh. Lately, Ozai has been saying rather out of the blue and frankly disturbing things.
“The ship isn’t going to burn down. I have to go now. Try not to miss me too much.” He ruffles his hair
Ozai rolls his eyes and pushes his hand off, “It won’t be too hard.”
Iroh grins and attempts to kiss Ozai before he’s slapped. Ozai does his little pout that Iroh has started seeing less and less of and whines, “Just get on your ship already, you big baby!”
Iroh waves goodbye and boards his ship with the rest of his crew. 7 weeks later, the city of Wuhan burns before Iroh.
*
*
*
It was scarier than he’d imagined. War, that is. Iroh has spent his whole childhood safely hidden from the bloody reality of war and now that he was finally out there…
He hears what the other soldiers whisper when they think he can’t hear them.
“What's a coddled prince like him even doing here?”
“I bet he’s got no weapon skills anyways. Prissy Fire Bender.”
“You can’t talk about the Crown Prince like that!”
“It’s not like he’ll ever know. Besides, don’t you agree?”
“...”
Iroh ignores most of it. Silently though, he plots how to change their minds. They really shouldn’t be talking about their prince like that, but it’s not like anyone can control their whispers or thoughts. What he can control however, was how they thought of him.
Yes! If he can show them that he’s not a spoiled brat, that he knows that war is brutal and cruel but that he’s willing to go through it all for the glory of the Fire Nation….they’ll have to change their minds!
So he does his best to not laze around, He adds his name to the cooking list and takes over dish duty. He rises early in the morning to do the laundry and stays up late into the night to wipe down the decks.
Still, he isn’t doing enough.
“We grew up doing these things! He’s not anything special.”
“If he’s expecting praise for this he’s gonna be sorely disappointed.”
He’s not sure why, but these comments make him feel worse than anything his father ever said to him. What else can he do? What is something that none of them had to do until they went to…oh
Oh
So that's what he had to do.
It..was logical. It would make them happy, it would make his father happy. It should also make Iroh happy, right? He’s met generals before, who have laughed and grinned widely as they recounted their magnificent burning of large cities.
So, why does the thought of burning make Iroh feel sick? Make him feel like his skin is itching and on fire.
And so, exactly 9 days later, the city of Wuhan burns before Iroh. The flames are warm during their destructive rampage. So warm. Iroh clenches his fists. His nails dig into his palms so hard he draws blood.
Someone claps him on the back. The general nods approvingly, “Good job.”
Iroh gives a shaky smile and bows, “Thank you for this chance.”
He thinks, “They deserved it. We tried to reason with them. We told their representatives to give up, to retreat, they didn’t listen, they deserved it they deserve it theydeserveittheydeserveittheydeserve it they should’ve just bowed to us-”
The screams stop and Iroh’s ears are met with deadly silence.
Iroh wasn’t expecting a very warm welcome when he returned home but this was..ugh.
Ozai gives him a formal bow and half-hearted, “Glad you’re home safe.” Before stalking off to his room.
Fire Lord Azulon doesn’t seem to notice, or maybe doesn’t care.
“After dinner,” He begins, “Come down to my study. I would like to speak with you about something.”
Iroh nods, “Yes, Father.”
Be bows as he’s dismissed and goes to find Ozai. It takes him until just before dinner to hunt down his little brother. Almost like Ozai didn’t want to see him? Why though-
“Ah! There you are!”
Ozai’s head snaps to the voice and rolls his eyes.
He’s sitting on the ground, a towel hung around his neck and sweat was dripping down his forehead. Probably from Fire Bending practice. Iroh plops down next to him.
“Soooo. What’s up?”
“Nothing.”
“You seem almost mad that I’m back home.”
Ozai doesn’t reply.
“You didn’t miss me at all?”
Ozai still doesn’t reply.
“Well I missed you.”
Ozai looks just the tiniest bit guilty and he mumbles something.
“What? Speak louder. Don’t mumble.”
Ozai straightens his back, “I said, Father pays more attention to me when you’re gone.”
Iroh’s face stills.
Ozai, as though realizing what he said immediately hurries to add, “And it’s quieter without all you too!”
“I see.” Iroh is panicking, really, really, panicking. What the hell is he supposed to do in this situation?! Ozai looked so sad and Iroh was feeling hurt himself, not from Ozai of course, he just couldn’t help the utter confusion when he thought of how his father treats Ozai. He never does anything to him and therein lies the problem. He never does anything for Ozai. He just largely ignores him.
What is he supposed to do right now? Tell the Fire Lord he needs to get his act together? Tell Ozai to suck it up?
No, no, he certainly couldn’t do either of those. Ozai was sad because their Father never paid any attention to him. Iroh pays him attention, although, recently that attention has dwindled as he got more busy.
A brother bonding day then! Just the two of them doing some sort of activity.
“We should go to the theater! At Ember Island!” Iroh booms
Ozai looks confused but his face beams at the subject change before falling, “But I hate theater. Especially the Ember Island players.”
“Oh, they’re not that bad.”
“They’re waaaaay worse than just ‘bad’.”
Iroh ruffles his hair, “There’s an hour left before dinner. I’ll buy the ticket and see you for that.”
Ozai nods and just the tiniest hint of a smile dances on his lips.
“Now go shower, you smell.”
Ozai hits him.
*
*
Iroh throws the Ember Island tickets in his drawer before hurrying to his father’s office. He opens the door and bows, “Father. You wanted to speak to me.”
His father stops whatever he’s writing and looks up at him, “Yes. Sit down.”
Iroh smooths out his crimson robes and looks his father in the eye, “What is it?”
“You have grown into a fine young man, my son. And I, I have been growing old.”
“You’re an incredibly healthy man.”
“Currently I am. That will not always be the case. Every man falls at some point, no matter how great they once were. My time will near eventually but before I go I need to make sure of the Fire Nation’s future.”
“You’ve trained me as heir diligently, Father-”
“I know that. That's not what I mean. You will become a fine Fire Lord one day, and one day you will teach your eldest to grow into his place as heir as well.”
Iroh raises an eyebrow, “Father?”
“Marriage, Iroh. I want you to get married as soon as possible.”
.
.
.
Iroh isn’t surprisedper sey. He always knew he would get married one day. He just hadn’t realized that day had neared so quickly. He’s been so busy, what with the war, being on the frontlines, and dealing with his brother, that the last thing on his mind had been finding a wife.
But apparently that was the first thing on his father’s mind as a whole ball has already been organized and dozens of noble’s daughters have been invited to it. A feast had been prepared, the ball room decorated, and the paintings dusted. Really all Iroh had to do was avoid flinching as the tailor poked him with needles and prodded him to get his measurements. One servant scrubs at his hair while another files his nails and someone else lays a mask on his face.
After what feels like hours, he’s finally done. Black hair tied into a tight topknot, his hair piece shined and placed diligently on his head, and draped in gold and crimson. He looks the very picture of elegance. Ozai does too. His hair is a bit shorter than it should be, the bottom of it got scorched while Fire Bending and he had to trim it, and while there’s no gold in sight on his clothes, he looks as royal and can be.
Ozai smirks, “You’re getting married.”
“Not yet. I still need to find a wife.”
Ozai gives him a once over, “That’ll be impossible with that face.”
Iroh lets out a strangled sound, “Huh?! I’ll have you know the ladies love me.”
Ozai waves a hand, “I bet Father will have to arrange a marriage for you. No one would willingly want to be stuck with you of all people.”
Iroh smacks him on the head, “We’ll see which one of us will end up with an arranged marriage.”
“We’ll see. Now get going.” A bit quieter, “The people want their crown prince.”
Iroh stiffens and tries to forget the bite of jealousy in his brother's tone and instead grabs his arm, “The people are waiting for both their princes.”
The doors open, lots of bowing ensues and suddenly Iroh is whisked away.
One lady starts talking up her daughter while some minor lord - that Iroh cannot for the life of him remember his name- pushes a drink into hand and introduces his daughters while a group of younger women pull him onto the dance floor.
Dancing. Ugh.
Despite the numerous waltzing lessons he’d been forced into as a child, he never got the hang of it and was soon deemed a lost cause by his instructors.
Ozai doesn't seem to be having any of that trouble as he swings around with a group of girls, each one blushing more than the other as the prince sweeps and dips them.
“At least someone seems to be enjoying themselves.” Iroh thinks. It hasn’t even been an hour yet and all he wants is to leave.
A gaggle of girls surrounds him again and Iroh prepares to feel his entire being get violated once more.
He tries not to tense when a girl runs her hand up his arm or when someone forces a drink down his throat.
“May we dance to this song, your highness?”
“Oh but he promised me.”
“No, he promised me.
“Ladies," ah, Iroh’s savior in the form of his little brother arrives and his smile is all teeth, “My brother is clearly tired and you’re only making his headache worse.” Ozai’s smile sharpens, “You wouldn’t want to upset your prince, would you?”
The noble ladies make some very interesting facial expressions. Blushing but with a mixture of ‘scared’ added with “he’s my type” combined with “maybe the rumors are true and everyone in the Royal Family really is insane”
Well.
Okay
Ozai is talking and he seems to thrive under the attention of everyone in the room. Iroh takes it for the blessing it is and carefully sneaks out of the ball room and into the gardens.
He sighs in relief as the flowers come into view. One of those women would be his wife? Iroh isn’t stupid, he knows they only want him because he’s a prince, the
Unfortunately, his life was a joke and now he can’t wallow in misery like he’d planned because a girl was in the garden too.
Oh joy.
It was either he go back and deal with a ballroom full of snakes or stay in the gardens and deal with only one. Hmm.
“Are you just gonna keep standing there?” The girl asks
Iroh puts on his most charming smile, “If you want me to.”
The girl rolls her eyes, “Just don’t come in my space.”
Iroh resists the urge to inform her that technically, the entire palace - including its gardens - were his space but he comes to a more pressing conclusion. This girl didn’t know who he was!
Iroh walks right up to her and bows, “My name is Iroh! Who are you?”
“Iroh? Like the prince?”
Oh right uuuuuh, “I was named after him. You know how usually there’s a boom in certain names after members of the royal family are born?”
The girl nods, “Yeah, I think I have an uncle or something named Azulon. I’m Nari. What are you doing here?”
It’s my home. “The ball. What else?”
Nari giggles and a light blush overtakes her cheeks, “ Right, of course. Escorting a sister or something? No offense but you don’t look like you're enjoying yourself.”
“Yes! My sister, completely infatuated with the princes. Heh.”
Nari shrugs, “Anyone would be. Being princess and/or Fire Lady is a lot of peoples’ dreams.”
It’s Iroh’s turn to shrug, “It’s not all it’s cut out to be.”
“Oh really? And how would you know?”
“Just a guess I suppose. Would you enjoy being fawned over at every given chance by people who only want you for political power?”
“I suppose not.”
“Yes.”
“It seems almost like a lonely existence, don't you think? Never knowing who you can trust, never knowing who really wants you for you or who wants you for your title.”
“It is. I’m sure of it.”
“What's most important to you then? The person or the power that person yields?”
“I wouldn’t mind if I married a dish servant if it meant she were a person of remarkable character.”
Nari nods and smiles, “Yes. Yes, I agree.”
And suddenly Iroh’s heart melts and his face is on fire, “Do you want to dance? With me? Would you like to dance with me? In the ball, perhaps?”
It’s by no means his most eloquent sentence but for whatever reason he does not care. He just wants to hold this wonderful woman in his arms and dance.
“Absoluty not.”
Oh.
“Let's dance in the gardens instead.”
Oh.
Arm in arm, hand in hand, they dance in the middle of the blooming fire lilies.
Nari is the sweetest person Iroh has ever met. He wonders if this is what love feels like, a pounding in his chest, his face on fire, and the happiest feeling in his head he’s ever felt.
Marriage comes in 7 months time. The revelation that Iroh was the Crown Prince a week after the ball when he asked to court Nari was…interesting to say the least. But once they both got used to it, things smoothed out and eventually a wedding was held.
It’s the happiest Iroh can remember feeling in years. Nari fell in love with Iroh. Not the Crown Prince. Not the respected General. Just Iroh. And he couldn’t be happier.
Everyone in the Fire Palace stares at the soon to be Princess Nari. She is unlike anyone in the Palace has ever seen. With her tanned skin and gray eyes, and brown hair, it is no wonder she seems out of place in a family of pale skinned, sharp golden eyed, raven-haired royals.
Ozai very obviously does not like Nari. He stares at Nari like she is an abomination to man-kind. Or perhaps like she is unworthy to walk the halls of the Palace. Iroh can’t be sure. It’s like that with his brother now. Cold, calculating, silent, deadly. Fire Lord Azulon says he will be ready soon to learn lightning. It is the closest to praise Ozai has ever gotten from someone who wasn’t his brother. He seems to forget that though as he has forgotten Iroh. As Iroh has perhaps forgotten about him.
He might just be following his Fathers steps as Azulon looks over Nari. Like she is unworthy to be the wife of the Crown Prince.
Azulon, upon first meeting Nari, pulled his lips back in a snarl. Or perhaps a smile and stated, “Well then my dear. We’ll see just how long you’ll last.” Then stalked off to probably yell at some poor servant.
Nari squeezes Iroh's hand and he murmurs to her, “ He means nothing by it. We’ll live a long happy life together. I’m sure of it.“
Maybe they shouldn’t have jinxed themselves.
10 months later, Iroh held a small boy wrapped in gold blankets in his arms. His son. This was his son. For years afterwards Iroh would struggle to understand how a father could look at their own child and only think of their uses. And if they didn’t have any they were worthless.
(It would take until he saw how Ozai treated Zuko to realize that some parents just cared about power more than their kids.)
However, Azulon's cold heart seemed to soften as he stared into his first grandchild's amber eyes.
“He will be a worthy heir.”
Iroh nods stiffly. His son, Lu Ten, is the most precious thing in his world now. He could be a waterbender for all he cared and he’d still love him.
One of the midwives hesitantly walks in.
“My royals, I have news.”
“Well then spit it out.” Azulon huffs
“Princess Nari has died in childbirth.”
Iroh throws the poor messenger into a wall.
____
The funeral was held outside the palace and she was burned under Agni’s light.
Lu Ten cries the whole night.
Iroh wonders if the little boy can feel what is happening. If he misses his mother as much as Iroh does.
____
“Perhaps you should marry again, brother.” Ozai says one day, not even a year after Nari died
Iroh who was currently helping Ozai with his lightning-bending freezes.
He turns his head to him slowly.
“Why?” He simply asks
“Father needs more heirs. If something happens to Lu Ten you will be without-” He doesn’t get to finish his sentence as Iroh picks his brother by the collar of his robes,
“I did not marry Nari for heirs,” Iroh's voice breaks. He has not spoken her name in many months, “ I married her because I loved her. One day when you are older, you will find a nice woman to marry and you’ll understand the feeling.”
(In the years to come Iroh will fear for his brother's future family as Ozai grows crueler and crueler.)
_____
The Fire Sages present a prophecy to Fire Lord Azulon one Summer Solstice.
“Prince Ozai can marry the descendant of Roku and she will bear powerful children for you.”
Fire Lord Azulon strokes his beard and states, “Prince Iroh, you will travel with me to find the descendants of Roku and you two shall be married.”
The Fire Sage very carefully does not groan.
Iroh stands from his seat next to his father and feels Lu Ten stiffen next to him.
“I’m afraid I will not be able to do that, Father. I am not marrying again.”
So Ozai does instead.
Iroh feels bad for Ursa. She is a young, timid woman who - forcibly - came from the small village of Hira’a. She walks with the kind of silence that makes you wonder if she was ever really there. Despite that, she brings a much needed kindness to the palace, and Iroh, foolish as ever, believes her warmth might spread to his brother and brighten his cold heart.
It doesn’t.
“Dad,” Lu Ten says, “ When Aunt Ursa has the baby will the baby be my sibling?”
Iroh chuckles, “No, the baby will be your cousin”
“Oh,” He says disappointedly, “ I wanted a sibling.”
Iroh nods, “ There was a time I wanted many siblings as well.”
Lu Ten frowns, “And you got stuck with Uncle Ozai.”
“Manners,” Iroh scolds but can’t help but think about that. Do Ozai and him even love each other anymore? Did they ever? He can’t remember many good memories between them.
“I’m sorry.”
Iroh raises his eyebrows in surprise, “ For what, my son?”
Lu Ten’s eyes tear up, “For killing mom.”
Iroh breathes, “ You did not kill your mother. Who told you that?”
“Uncle Ozai,”Lu Ten starts sobbing. Tears run down his cheeks like stars and he starts hiccuping, “He said I’m a bad kid because I hurt mom and that she died because of me.”
Iroh breathes, this time with a little fire exploding from his mouth, “ Your Uncle is wrong. Your Mom had been sick beforehand. It was my fault for not giving her the proper medical attention she needed. We believed she was fine. That she would endure. We were wrong and that is NOT your fault.”
Lu Ten nods meekly.
“I am going to ..speak..with your Uncle.”
When Iroh finds Ozai he punches him.
“Ursa means bear, you know.” Iroh says to his brother one day after watching a pregnant Ursa hit a guard who got too close to her. They’ve since ignored the incident where Iroh attacked Ozai., “ She reminds me of a bear.”
Ozai groans, “ What is wrong with us marrying such fool-hardy women?”
Iroh can’t tell if it was an insult or joke. It sounds like an insult. Iroh doesn’t like it, not at all. He wants it to be a joke. A bade joke but a joke. He’s not sure why this is happening, when his brother changed so much. He wants to think of it as a joke, if only for old times sake. Iroh has missed this. His chest aches, it aches so badly. He wants - no needs - a distraction. Anything to keep him from thinking about Nari dying, Ozai changing.
Ursa was pregnant!
A nephew or niece. Something, someone for Iroh and Lu Ten to pour their ambitions in-
Ursa miscarriages.
She isn’t seen for weeks after the baby dies. Not by Iroh at least. Not until he hears sobbing in a corner near the kitchen.
“Ursa?” Iroh asks. He squints his eyes to see in the dark before deciding that was stupid and lights a fire in his palm, “ I haven’t seen you in days! What are you doing here?”
Ursa raises her head from her knees and peers around until her eyes land on Iroh. She quickly wipes her tears with her sleeve when she realizes that she’s in the Crown Prince's presence.
“Oh, Prince Iroh, hello. I was just getting something to eat.”
“It’s just Iroh, we’re family after all.” Iroh sits down next to her.
Neither of them say anything and the silence is slightly uncomfortable but Iroh has learned that sometimes the best way to comfort someone is to be quiet and listen. Fathering has been doing wonders.
“I thought she was going to be healthy. The pregnancy was going well. I knew she was going to be beautiful.”
It takes Iroh a moment to realize she was talking about the baby.
“Oh.” he prompts her to continue.
“I didn’t even give her name,” She sniffs, “We hadn’t thought about it yet and Ozai didn’t seem to be interested in it.”
“...Would you like to give her a name now?”
Ursa raises her head and Iroh can very briefly see her eyes brighten before they dim.
“What good would that do? She’s dead.”
“I know. But, sometimes it’s nice to give dead people something to call their own. Something to prove that they had been alive once.”
Ursa sniffs and wipes her tears again, “ I want to name her after a flower.”
Please don’t say Nari. Please don’t say Nari. Please, I can’t deal with another dead lily. Please-
“Sayuri, then. I like that. It means lily.” She turns her head to face him (her face was so thin and sickly, when was the last time she slept? Or ate?) “Thank you, Iroh. Talking was good.”
“I didn’t do much.”
“You did a lot actually. Thank you again. Would you like to come with me to the kitchen? I’m going to get mooncakes.”
Iroh pats his stomach, “ I certainly wouldn’t mind a mooncake or three.”
Ursa laughs, “Thank you, again.”
Iroh smiles and hands her a plate, “It was the least I could do.”
When Ursa gets pregnant again the Palace is in outrage. Particularly Ozai and Lord Azulon.
“Do you not understand what this means? The child will be born in the winter!”
A terrible omen for fire-benders. Plenty of children were born in the winter, it was inevitable. But for the Royal family, pregnancies and births were meant to be strategic.
This seems to only just dawn on Ozai if his increased heart beat is anything to go by.
“Plenty of powerful firebenders have been born in the winter. The child will come from the lines of Sozin and Roku. He will be strong.” Iroh says and it is the only thing that calms everyone down.
Nine months later, Prince Zuko is born. Nobody but Ursa, Iroh, and Lu Ten are happy.
Azulon starts breathing heavily, “This child..has been born on the Winter Solstice in the dead of night. Why even let him live? He’s sick anyways!”
Ursa starts crying and clutches her son close to her chest. The Fire Sages and nurses fall to their knees to beg the Fire Lord and his second son to let the boy live.
Once again, it is only Iroh who calms anyone down, “He is of the lines of Sozin and Roku. He will be strong. He is strong. Give him to the end of the week at least.”
The Fire Lord turns to glare at Iroh.
“Fine. Two days, at most.”
Not what Iroh had hoped for but it was better than nothing. Ursa sends him a thankful look and Iroh knows it was worth it.
Zuko lives.
Then Azula is born on the Summer Solstice two years later
Zuko does not start firebending until he is 6 when everyone has already given up hope that he will Firbend (even though Zuko swears he makes sparks when no one is looking).
Azula had already set her crib on fire when she was a baby.
“She’s a Fire-Bending prodigy! Just like her grandfather for whom she was named.” People say.
Lu Ten comforts Zuko. He tells him that it's okay to not be a bender or just a weak one. Zuko refuses to listen.
Lu Ten introduces Zuko to swords. The younger Prince takes to them like fire does to wood.
Ozai yells at him when he thinks no one will hear.
“You are a Prince. Just because you are weak does not excuse you from stooping so low as to learn a non-benders form of defense!”
Zuko, back when he was little and ready to stand his ground, retorts, “ Lu Ten learned how to use swords! And he’s a good Firebender and is gonna be Fire Lord one day!”
Ozai snarls, “ That is because Lu Ten is weak.”
Zuko gasps, as though that word associated with his cousin was something he never would’ve dreamed of, “ No he’s not!”
“He is. He is compassionate. Compassion is weakness and must be snuffed out as soon as it emerges in a child. But my fool of a brother cannot see that.”
“But Uncle Iroh is the Dragon of the West.” Zuko says softly, as though that explains it all
Iroh shifts his foot from the curtain he is standing behind. He cannot hear this anymore.
Ozai thinks Lu Ten is weak.
Ozai never liked Lu Ten.
Ozai wants to..hurt Lu Ten?
It’s a question Iroh doesn’t like and doesn’t want the answer to.
But he will keep a closer eye on his son from now on.
<
He isn’t doing a very good job of keeping an eye out for his son.
Today, there was an attempted assassination. Thing was, the assassin hadn’t been sent to kill the Fire Lord, but Lu Ten. When caught, the assassin had refused to say the name of who had sent him. When the Fire Lord and his guards decided that he wasn’t going to say anything, they gave Iroh full permission to torture the man to death.
He made sure Ozai watched.
Lu Ten gets poisoned.
Lu Ten got caught in a fire.
Lu Ten almost drowns.
Lu Ten has many ‘accidents’ that almost lead to death.
Lu Ten turns 18 so Iroh does the only thing any other father would.
Throws him a party-
No, actually, he sends him to war.
“The people are wondering why their Prince hasn’t gone to war yet.” Fire Lord Azulon whispers to him late at night
Iroh resists the urge to groan, “ It’s not my fault you lowered the conscription age. Again.”
“He needs to go to war. He needs his mandatory military service. Lu Ten is too pampered by you. He needs to learn the gruesome reality of the real world.”
“You mean the gruesome reality of war,” Iroh’s mind can’t help but think…he also can’t help but think of how much safer Lu Ten would be with him when they finally laid war on Ba Sing Sae. Iroh will be gone for who knows how long so he should take his son with him. Ozai won’t be able to hurt him that way. Yes! Iroh can’t protect his son when he’s a continent away but like this….
It turns out it was Iroh who hurt him.
There's no body left to bury for his precious son.
He disappears for a year. The last he’s heard is that his father has died, Ursa disappeared, and Ozai is now Fire Lord.
Oh, and he met the White Lotus. Nice guys, but they don’t trust him yet. It was a miracle he was even able to study waterbending techniques from them.
Being back in the palace brings back unpleasant memories. Surprisingly, it is Zuko who offers him comfort.
“I know how you feel. I felt the same way when mom was gone.” Zuko mumbles
The thing is, he can’tknow how he feels. Zuko, at least, doesn’t feel guilt. He at least doesn’t believe that whatever happened to his mother was his fault. Iroh does though. It’s his fault his son is gone and no one else's.
But Zuko needs comfort too, so Iroh offers it back.
He doesn’t give that same comfort to Azula though. He offers it, he tries to invite her to tea and for training but it only took her one training session to realize Iroh was more interested in talking than anything else. He’ll regret it in the future when he sees just how far Ozai’s poisonous claws have sunk into the little girl. But for now, all he does is watch. Afterall,a man blinded by his own tears can’t see the tears of others.
Meanwhile, Zuko excels in his studies. He’s an exceptional firebender but he falls short of Azula and he forgets important dates but he’s good at math and reading. Iroh plans to take him to Ember Island for his birthday.
But then Zuko demands to enter a war meeting
(I’ve learned everything I can from the scrolls in the library, Uncle! This war meeting is my chance to learn something new! I need to prepare myself to be Fire Lord-”)
Iroh lets him so long as Zuko stays quiet.
But Zuko never did listen to his elders much.
His nephew speaks out and then everything starts going so, so wrong.
Zuko has a burn that nearly covers half his face and his hearing and vision on the left side of his face might never be the same again.
Zuko’s room smells like burnt skin and burn cream. His face, neck, arms, and hands are covered in a hospital's worth of bandages.
Iroh carefully folds Zuko’s robe. He kisses his forehead despite the bandages covering it
Suddenly, the door bursts open and Fire Lord Ozai walks in his full regalia as though he had not just permanently scarred his 13 year old son.
Zuko chooses this as the perfect time to wake up. His eyes widened as he saw his father looking down at him. Iroh can feel his heartbeat starting to race.
“Today,” Ozai begins, “ You showed compassion. Compassion is weakness. That weakness must be snuffed out of you.”
Zuko stays silent.
“I am sending you away.”
Zuko starts to cry.
“I will let you return once you have captured the Avatar, our great Nation's biggest threat.”
Then Ozai sweeps out, leaving Iroh and Zuko alone with the weight of his words.
“He’s sending me away.” Zuko’s voice cracks, “He wants me gone.”
“No he doesn’t”
Zuko looks up at him hopefully and Iroh’s heart shatters once more. What was he supposed to say to this child?
Yes, your father is sending you on a wild goose chase in hopes that you’ll end up dead and he can give the throne to Azula like he always wanted to?
No, he can’t say that. Not to a boy who’s been scarred beyond repair.
“He’s given you a great task. Find our Nation’s greatest threat and return home a hero.”
Zuko sniffs and hiccups as his tears fall into the corners of his mouth, “Okay. But how do I even begin to find a man who’s been gone for a 100 years?”
“..I..don’t know.”
Zuko slumps.
“So I’ll be coming with you.”
Zuko straightens his back, “ You will? But…no…I can’t ask this of you Uncle. You shouldn’t have to come with me on my…banishment.”
“You’re not asking anything of me. I’m the one that wants to come.”
Zuko flares up and Iroh suspects he’d yell at him if his throat weren’t so hoarse, " You’re not banished though, I am. Father gave this task to me so I’ll complete it by myself. What reason could you possible have for wanting to come along> You shouldn’t, you shouldn’t have to leave your home for something that isn’t even you’re fault-”
Iroh simply says, “I care for you Zuko. I love you and want to help you. I think that is reason enough."
Zuko stares as if he cannot even comprehend the fact,” Okay, okay, fine, you can come. But I do all the work.”
roh smiles, “As you wish.”
He reaches to wipe Zuko’s tears and lulls his nephew into sleep. It’s an old lullaby, one his mother used to sing for him back when he was young and innocent. He’s forgotten the words but he hums what little of the melody he remembers.
The song, he remembers, had been about a red dragon flying across the world in search of treasure. When his mother sang it, it had been like golden dewdrops dripping from her lips. He wondered if that’s how it is with him.
Looking down at his nephew, Iroh vows that he will do everything in his power and then more to make sure his nephew doesn’t suffer.
This boy was going to do great things
And Iroh would be there to help him on the journey he needs to take to get there.