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Rain hammered against the window, each drop striking the glass with a soft clicking sound before sliding downward in thin trails. Outside, murky water flooded the streets while the trees bent and trembled as the wind tore through them.
Romano stood by the window, leaning lightly against the glass and feeling its cold seep through his clothes. His lips were drawn into a faint pout as he lifted a hand to trace the path of a raindrop with his finger, watching it vanish along the edge of the frame.
A tight knot of anxiety twisted in his chest. He blinked his hazel eyes and tapped restlessly against the windowsill for a moment before shifting slightly in his spot, letting his gaze drift across the familiar room of his brother’s house.
The room was packed with nations, their voices mingling loudly and filling the entire space. Why? Well... this week’s meeting had taken place in Northern Italy, and Veneziano, being the ball of sunshine he was, had invited all the participants back to his home for a “festa” (party). Lately, he had been too busy with work to host or attend any gatherings, and with the rain pouring outside, he had decided it was the perfect time to finally hold one.
Romano had thought the idea was terrible and had wanted to return to his own home in the South. He wasn't in the mood for a party. However, Veneziano had begged him to stay and used his stupid puppy dog eyes on him that made Romano feel as though he were committing some terrible crime if he said no to him. In the end, the older Italian gave in and decided to remain for the sake of his brother.
But Romano wasn’t pleased at all with this. Unlike the others, he wasn’t enjoying himself. Quite the opposite, actually. He was having a terrible time.
Now one might wonder what exactly had happened to make him so bitter, or rather, more bitter than usual. To put it simply, it was partly due to the meeting and partly due to his brother.
For the meeting, he had been assigned to assist Veneziano and present some new trade agreements that their boss wanted them to share with the other nations. He had felt a bit excited about it, since their boss had personally sent him the documents and trusted him with the responsibility of preparing them for the participating nations. However, he had somehow failed to save them properly, and when the presentation opened, it was completely blank. He ended up embarrassing himself in front of everyone and disappointing his boss.
Fortunately, Veneziano called their office right away and managed to retrieve the documents again, saving the situation as he always did. Everyone was pleased with him and praised him, while Romano received nothing but looks of pity for his poor performance as a nation.
The entire situation left a sour taste in his mouth. Somehow, he always seemed to mess things up and ruin everything, while his brother never did anything wrong and always managed to make things better. It had always been like that. Veneziano excelled at everything, while Romano only ever seemed to fail.
He hated it. He didn't understand where things had gone wrong when he had been made, but it hurt to be the way he was. He wanted to be better. He wanted to be as perfect as his brother. Instead, he was imperfect, and most people couldn't stand him. Well, not everyone. His family tolerated him, but Romano reasoned it was only because they pitied how miserable he was. Why else would anyone put up with his awful personality?
His gaze drifted to his brother who stood surrounded by a small group of nations chatting brightly with them as if everything was right in the world. Everyone watched him with admiration.
Romano glanced away and looked at the empty corner he had more or less resigned himself to. The knot of anxiety in his chest grew worse. He was so lonely... Maybe if he were happier, or at least smiled like his brother, he would be admired too.
Romano pushed himself away from the window and turned toward it. He could faintly see his reflection in the glass. He bit his lip and frowned for a moment before shaking his head and relaxing his face. He stood still, then took a deep breath and exhaled as he tried to smile. He attempted to mimic the way his brother smiled, but instead of looking happy like him, he looked awkward, as if he were forcing it, which wasn't far from the truth, though it still hurt him.
He hated his smile. It was no wonder he almost never smiled.
The corners of his mouth trembled slightly before he scowled and punched the glass in anger, only to wince and quickly rub his knuckles as they ached. Damn it all. He turned away from the window, crossed his arms tightly, and stared down at the floor beneath his feet.
He could feel his eyes sting, and he blinked quickly, trying to push the feeling away. He was so fucking jealous of Veneziano. Fuck.
Now, don't get him wrong. He loved his brother dearly and would never wish him harm. But in moments like this, he couldn't help wishing he didn't have a brother at all. Then there would be no perfect version of his nation to compare himself to, and maybe he would be happier.
As soon as the thought crossed his mind, he felt guilty. Romano’s frown deepened as he looked back at Veneziano. He thought of everything they had been through together, and clenched his teeth in frustration. He had to be the worst person in the world for thinking something like that. Veneziano had done nothing wrong. He had always been kind to him and helped him whenever he needed it, and instead of being grateful, Romano was wishing he didn’t exist. What was wrong with him?
Plus, Spain had tried to get him to talk to the others, but Romano had refused and chosen instead to wallow in pity. He had practically dug his own grave. He always did this to himself. He could never give himself anything he wanted because, for some unknown reason, it embarrassed him to say he wanted things. It shouldn't, since everyone else said what they wanted and got it, but he was difficult, and his mind was apparently wired wrong, so it did. Everything embarrassed him and scared him, so he could never have what he wanted and always ended up suffering in silence like a loser.
If only he were different...
To make himself feel better about his inability to act like a normal person, he liked to convince himself that it was better to stay away from the things he wanted. Like now, he told himself that the others probably didn't want to talk to him anyway because he always ended up hurting people whenever he opened his stupid mouth.
But even if he thought that way, it still made him feel sad. He wanted to have fun with everyone else, but he just couldn’t because... he wasn’t good like Veneziano was.
Romano’s eyes began to sting even more, and his vision blurred slightly. His throat tightened, and he bit his tongue in an attempt to keep himself composed, but it barely helped. He needed a distraction. He shifted his gaze away from his brother and let it drift across the room until it landed on Prussia, who was talking excitedly with France.
Romano bit his tongue harder. Germany had brought his older brother along to the meeting even though he didn't need to be there, and Prussia had spent the whole day annoying him like the irritating bastard he was. Prussia kept insisting they were friends, but Romano knew better. He was probably only clinging to him because he couldn't talk to Veneziano, since Veneziano was too busy with his own brother, Germany.
That thought irritated Romano more than he cared to admit. He didn't want to be used as a replacement for his brother. He wanted people to choose him for him. He didn't want to be everyone’s second choice anymore.
He wished Prussia bothered him because he actually wanted to spend time with him… but that would never be the case.
Romano rubbed at his eyes angrily when, suddenly, Prussia shifted his gaze and it landed directly on him. Their eyes met. The German blinked, then grinned brightly and waved at him enthusiastically.
The Italian jumped in his spot, quickly dropping his hands and looking away, his face heating up in embarrassment. Fucking hell. Prussia had seen him staring at him like a total creep. Now the bastard was going to get all kinds of weird ideas about him. Urgh. This had to be his unlucky day.
The Italian wished nothing more than for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. He didn't think he would ever recover from this.
Romano decided he had stayed long enough and that it was time for him to leave. Veneziano knew he hadn't been in the best of moods today, so he would likely understand. If Veneziano did get sad, he could make it up to him later with cannoli or by taking him shopping or something.
Romano nodded to himself and started making his way out of the room. But he was so focused on the exit that he accidentally bumped into a table on his way out, knocking it over and sending everything on it crashing to the ground.
The Southern nation felt his face go pale as he watched in horror as an array of glasses shattered across the floor. The room went silent, and he slowly turned around, only to find everyone staring at him. He immediately felt self-conscious and guilty. Great. Another mistake. He had screwed up again and ruined everyone’s good time. Now he was an even bigger embarrassment. Fuck. Just kill him already.
Romano looked down at the floor, unable to meet anyone’s eyes. The pain in his chest grew worse, and his heartbeat picked up until he could hear it in his ears. He was such a failure. Even something as simple as leaving a room, something that should've been easy, he still failed. He shouldn't have come here. He should've gone home. He shouldn't even have gone to the meeting. His brother should've handled it from the start by himself, and everything would've been better.
A tear rolled down the Italian’s cheek before he could stop it. He muttered a half-hearted apology under his breath before sprinting out of the room. He ran down the hallway until he reached the front door. He quickly unlocked it, and stepped outside.
The sky was filled with thick grey clouds. Romano could see the raindrops hitting the pavement. A shiver ran through him. It was so fucking cold. Everyone outside had umbrellas and thick jackets. He was the only idiot without any. But he couldn't bring himself to care. He just wanted to go home as quickly as possible.
He sniffled, wrapped his arms around himself, and bolted down the street. The rain plastered his bangs to his forehead and soaked through his clothes, making them cling to his skin in a cold, uncomfortable way that made him want to rip them off.
If he wanted to get back to his side of the country, he would need a car or a train. Veneziano had driven him here, and the plan had been for him to take him home after the party, but that was no longer an option. Ugh. Naples was too far away, though, and he would likely freeze to death before he ever got there.
He did have an apartment in Venice... hmm... it wasn't the same as Naples, but it would do.
Romano stopped and pushed his bangs out of his face before taking out his phone. The screen was instantly soaked by the rain, and he wiped it with his sleeve, only for more water to splash onto it again. He groaned in frustration. He decided to call a cab, but because of the heavy rain, he couldn’t find any available rides.
“Ugh... come on, come on!” he hissed, clutching his phone tightly. “Stupid fucking rain. Why the hell is it even raining in Italy? It’s supposed to be hot and sunny, damn it!”
Romano bit his lip in anger, tears slipping down his cheeks because, fuck, nothing ever went right for him. He was about to try to find a cab again when a shadow suddenly fell over him, and the rain stopped hitting his skin.
The Italian blinked in confusion, then looked up, only to be met with some kind of… fabric? Huh?
Romano frowned slightly, then turned around slowly. To his surprise, he found Prussia standing next to him, having removed his uniform coat and holding it over both of their heads to shield them from the rain, an amused grin on his face.
Romano’s eyes widened as he stared at the German in shock. What the hell was Prussia doing here?
“Hey, what are you doing standing in the rain like this without an umbrella or a jacket? You’re completely drenched! You could totally get sick, you know.” Prussia said, tilting his head slightly.
Romano just kept staring at him, his mind struggling to process what was happening.
“Also, why’d you run off like that? I mean, yeah, it was totally unawesome that you knocked over a whole table by yourself and smashed all those nice glasses little Italy has, but that’s no reason to just bolt. Glasses can be replaced,” he pointed out, then added, “You made little Italy super worried about you! He almost came after you in this rain, but don’t worry, I, as the awesome person I am, decided to be your knight in shining armor, bring you back, and calm him down! I was worried you’d already gone far away and I wouldn’t be able to find you, but thank goodness you didn’t. That would’ve made little Italy even more worried, especially since it’s raining like this and—”
As Prussia’s eyes focused more on Romano’s face, the words caught in his throat. His smile faltered slightly as he leaned in closer, narrowing his eyes at him.
The sudden proximity pulled Romano back to reality. He stumbled a step back, feeling his face grow warm.
“What in the hell do you think you’re doing, you bastard—”
“Are you... crying?”
Hearing that, Romano’s heart stopped. Fuck. Yes, he was crying, and holy hell, Prussia had just seen him cry. He was definitely going to make fun of him now and never let him live this down. He needed to get the hell away from him!
“N-no! You’re imagining things, it’s just the stupid rain!” he snapped, then turned around and stormed off.
“Wait a second, where are you going? I just told you you’re going to get sick if you stand in the rain like that!” Prussia exclaimed as he tossed his coat over his shoulder and sprinted after Romano.
“I don’t care! Leave me alone! I don’t want to see your dumb face right now!”
Romano sped up, wanting nothing more than to lose the annoying Prussian. But unfortunately for him, Prussia, being the persistent idiot he was, sped up his pace too and kept following him.
Romano glanced back and groaned before breaking into a full run.
“H-hey! Roma, come on, don’t be like that! Why the hell are you running away?” Prussia called out after him as he ran as well to keep up with the Italian. “Now you’re going to get both of us sick!”
“Fuck off! Stop following me, you idiot!” the Southern nation snapped. He pushed through the few people in his path, his heart hammering in his chest. Why in the unholy hell was Prussia chasing him like a crazy sociopath? What did he want from him?
Romano gritted his teeth and turned the corner of the street. He reached an intersection and saw the lights had just turned red. Cars were beginning to move, but he figured that if he ran fast enough, he could make it across and put some distance between himself and Prussia. If he got to the other side, Prussia would be stuck behind and he would finally lose him.
Without another thought, he made a beeline for the crosswalk. But he had badly misjudged the timing. He had barely taken a few steps onto the road when a sharp horn blared through his ears. He turned his head and froze as he saw a freaking bus coming straight toward him.
Romano’s mouth fell open in shock, his breath catching in his throat. His heart seemed to stop as everything slowed down around him, the bus drawing closer and closer. He was certain he was about to be crushed into the pavement right then and there.
However, suddenly, a hand grabbed his arm and yanked him back hard. He stumbled onto the sidewalk just in time as the bus thundered past the spot he had been standing on. Romano stared after it in horror, his pulse pounding in his ears, his mouth dry, and his body shaking.
Before he could fully process what had happened, he was spun around. Prussia stood in front of him, gripping his shoulders tightly, his expression panicked, rain flattening his hair against his forehead.
“Are you mad?! You could have ended up in the hospital! What the hell were you thinking?” the German snapped, fingers digging into Romano’s wet uniform and making him wince. “The lights turned red for a reason! You’re not supposed to cross when cars are moving! That’s how people end up getting killed!”
Prussia was right. What the hell had he actually been thinking?
If Prussia hadn’t pulled him back in time, he would've ended up splattered on the ground and caused even more trouble than he already had for his brother and his boss.
Fuck. He was such a failure. He failed at everything.
Failure. Failure. Failure.
Romano felt his heart break in his chest, and before he could stop himself, tears began streaming down his face. A strangled sob slipped out of him.
In an instant, Prussia’s expression faltered and shifted into concern. “Roma, fuck, don’t cry. I didn’t mean to yell at you. I just… I thought you were going to—”
Romano broke into full blown sobs, making the Prussian flinch.
“No, no, no! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry harder. Ugh, fuck, you’re okay, don’t worry. The awesome me saved you. There’s no reason to bawl your eyes out. Check it out, you’re still in one piece.”
Romano covered his face with his hands and shook his head before pulling away from the German and stumbling a few steps back. He was shaking badly, and he couldn’t tell whether it was from the adrenaline of almost getting hit by a bus or from how overwhelmed and hurt he felt. Maybe both.
“Roma…” Prussia said softly as he stepped closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“Don’t fucking touch me!” the Italian screeched, slapping his hand away.
Prussia winced but didn’t get upset. “Come on, it’s okay to cry. I mean, most people would probably cry after nearly getting their guts spilled out by a bus—”
“Shut up! I’m not fucking crying because of that!” Romano exclaimed in frustration. Though, truthfully, that was part of it too, just not the main reason.
Prussia frowned in confusion. “You’re not…? Oh, then are you crying about the same thing you were crying about earlier? Because you were totally crying then too, but why—”
“Ugh! You don’t get it! No one gets it!” Romano hissed as he turned to glare angrily at Prussia. “I always mess up! I can’t do anything right! I fucked up with those stupid documents this morning and almost ruined mine and my brother’s presentation, then I broke a whole set of glasses at his place, and now I nearly fucking killed myself!” he exclaimed, gesturing furiously at himself. “Every time I try to do something, I end up screwing it up! I hate this! I hate this so much! You don’t know what it’s like to live like me, to feel so fucking useless and pathetic all the time and know that no matter what you do or how you do it, it’ll all be for nothing!” he practically yelled, clenching his fists and stomping the ground.
Rain poured down on him harder, mixing with his tears, and he wiped his face with the sleeve of his uniform. “I’m the worst fucking nation ever! My brother should’ve just taken all of Italy!” he spat, his voice cracking.
He didn’t actually mean that. He loved his part of Italy, and he loved his people, and he would never truly wish to be separated from them. But he couldn’t help but think that Veneziano would probably take better care of them than he ever had.
Romano grabbed at his wet hair in exasperation, squeezing his eyes shut. “Fuck, you should’ve just let that fucking bus hit me! At least then I wouldn’t be causing problems for my country or the other nations—”
He didn’t get to finish his sentence. Hands suddenly grabbed his wrists, pulling them away from his hair. Romano jumped in surprise.
When he opened his eyes, he was face to face with Prussia, who was looking at him with the most concerned expression Romano had ever seen on him, and it made his anger falter.
Romano stared into his red eyes for a long moment, his tongue feeling numb in his mouth, before finally rasping out, “What are you doing, bastard…?”
Prussia opened his mouth to respond, but then his attention dropped to Romano’s hands instead. “Fuck, you’re freezing. You need to get out of the rain.”
Without another word, he quickly guided him under the awning of a nearby building. Romano didn’t say anything. The sudden lack of rain on his skin was a relief, but it also made him realize just how cold he actually was, and he wrapped his arms around himself, trembling.
Prussia ran a hand through his wet hair, pushing it back, then shook his hands off before looking back at Romano. Seeing how much he was shivering, he pulled off his coat and draped it over the Italian's shoulders.
Romano flinched. “The fuck do you think you’re doing? I don’t need your stupid—”
“Just accept it. You’re literally going to get hypothermia if you don’t warm up at least a little bit.”
Romano opened his mouth to argue, but a cold gust of wind hit him, and he shivered hard. He swallowed his protest and instead pulled the coat tighter around himself.
Damn it.
Prussia seemed cold as well, blowing warm air into his hands. “You should’ve taken a jacket or something, South.” he said.
Romano frowned, rubbing at his eyes to stop himself from crying. “You didn’t take one either, so don’t tell me what I should’ve done when you don’t even follow your own advice.”
“Yeah, because I thought I’d get you back to little Italy’s quickly and we could dry off there… that didn’t happen, though,” he said quietly, sighing. “Where were you even planning to go like this?”
Romano turned away from him. “I don’t need to tell you anything. Just leave me alone, damn it. I want to be alone.”
“South, don’t be difficult. I just want to know if it’s far or not and whether it’s worth you going there, or if I should take you back to Italy’s since you’re… well… you’re, um—”
“I’m what? A mess? I fucking know that!” Romano snapped, glaring back at him. “And if you take me back to my brother’s then what? You’ll show everyone how pathetic I am and mock me with them? Is that what you want? For me to cry harder so you can get your stupid entertainment out of it?!”
Prussia’s eyes widened. “No, I would never want that! Why would you even think that?!”
“Fuck off, you’re just saying that so I’ll let my guard down and you can stab me in the back!” Romano pointed at him accusingly. “Haven’t I embarrassed myself enough today? Do you seriously want to make me suffer more? Dio (God), why are you so cruel?!” he covered his face again, trying to hold back fresh sobs, but it didn’t work.
He felt Prussia’s hand on his forearm and quickly pulled away. “I told you not to fucking touch me!” he hissed, his voice cracking.
“Okay, I won’t. I’m sorry. Just listen… Roma, I would never want to hurt you. I don’t know where you got that from, but it’s completely wrong. You’re one of my favorite people, and I respect you a lot. I would never do anything to harm you.”
“Liar!” Romano shot back. “The only reason you even hang around me is because you can’t bother Veneziano since he’s always with your brother. If he wasn’t so obsessed with Germany, you wouldn’t even talk to me. I’m just the next best thing to you!”
“What? No, that’s not true! What the hell, Roma, do you even hear yourself? I’m not that lowly of a person. I hang around you because I like you. If I wanted to hang around little Italy, I would do it without any problem, but I don’t, because I want to spend my time with you.”
That made Romano’s heart stop for a second, and he faltered ever so slightly. Prussia liked him? That couldn’t be true… but as Romano slowly lowered his hands and looked at the Prussian, he could see the honesty in his eyes, and it made him feel conflicted. Why would Prussia like a failure like him?
“You… you don’t…” Romano shot back, but his voice came out weak and uncertain.
“I do. Don’t tell me what I do and don’t want. I think I know myself better than you, South.”
The Italian bit his lip, not knowing what to say to that.
It was silent between them for a long moment before Prussia asked slowly, “Why do you think that...?”
Romano swallowed hard. “Think what?”
“That you’re... a bad nation, and that everyone is out to get you. I just don’t understand.”
The Southern nation pressed his lips into a thin line. “Of course you wouldn’t understand. Someone as awesome as you, who’s good at everything, would never get it.”
“You think I’m awesome?” Prussia asked in surprise.
Romano scowled, forcing the words out. “Yes. You’re very annoying, but you can do literally anything you set your mind to without failing… unlike me. And you don’t even look like you’re trying. It all just comes easy for you, while I have to struggle just to get anything done. And for what? To still fail in the end.” he paused, then added bitterly, “It’s unfair.”
“I wouldn’t put it like that. I mean, sure, I’m skilled and good at a lot of things, but that doesn’t mean—”
Romano frowned harder.
“Ah. I’m not helping, am I?” Prussia said awkwardly.
“No. You’re not,” the Italian replied, then let out a heavy sigh. “I just wish I could do things right… like Veneziano. He never messes up. He’s not clumsy like I am. He’s the perfect Italy, and I’m just the other half that sucks. I’m a failure as a nation and as a person. I hate myself, and I’m sure everyone else hates me too. The ones who don’t just pity me.” he said quietly, sniffing.
“…Is that what you think of yourself?” Prussia asked. “That you’re a letdown and that you’re... hated?”
Romano nodded, feeling a lump form in his throat. Hearing his own words repeated back to him hurt...
Prussia fell silent for a second before speaking, a flicker of realization in his voice. “That’s why you left, isn’t it?”
The Italian nodded again, dropping his gaze to the ground.
It was quiet between them once more, and Romano half expected Prussia to leave since he didn’t know what else he could do. Instead, to his surprise, Prussia moved in front of him. He was far too close for comfort, making Romano’s skin prickle, and his heart stutter in his chest.
“South, honestly, the only thing that sucks about you is your mind, which for some reason can’t see the good around you and turns everything into something negative.” he said, then lightly jabbed Romano’s forehead with a finger.
The Italian flinched. “Ow, don’t fucking do that!” he snapped, then stepped back and massaged his forehead, glaring at the Prussian furiously.
The former nation didn’t seem to care. He simply closed the distance between them again. Romano’s face warmed up involuntarily. Seriously, what the hell? He had plenty of space! There was no need to get so close!
“You’ve got some serious issues,” Prussia stated as he gestured toward the Southern nation. “Seriously, I’ve never met anyone with such low self-esteem.”
That pulled at Romano’s heartstrings in all the wrong ways, and his lips trembled. “Y-you think I don’t know that? You don’t have to rub it in my face. There’s nothing I can do about it except live with it.”
“Yes there is. You can totally improve your confidence. For one, you have to stop looking at everything through dark tinted glasses and switch to a pink pair, and see that life’s not as bad and terrible as you make it out to be.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Prussia gave him a sympathetic look. “South, you’re not a bad nation. You’re a hard worker, you’re dedicated, and you do a lot for your lands and people. If you were a bad nation, your economy would be in shambles and there would be famine and poverty. But since it’s strong and your people are thriving, that means you’re doing a good job.”
Hearing that, Romano’s eyes went wide, and a jolt ran down his spine. That couldn’t be right. Prussia had to be lying. He wasn’t a good nation.
“You’re… you’re just saying that.”
“I’m not. I really mean it.”
“Well… it’s because of Veneziano that Italy is so great—”
“I wasn’t talking about the North. I was talking about the South. Your part of Italy. Your lands are prospering because of you and you alone. Little Italy has nothing to do with them. It’s your efforts that make Southern Italy the awesome place it is, not your brother’s.”
Romano’s heart lurched. “Stop it. Don’t lie to me. I’m not… I can’t be good.”
“I’m not lying,” the German said firmly. “I don’t see you as a failure. I honestly don’t think anyone else ever has except you. You say all you do is mess up, but I don’t see it that way. In my eyes, you’re nothing short of awesome. Sure, you can be clumsy at times, but come on, everyone is at least a little clumsy, even me. And little Italy too. To be fair, little Italy is way clumsier than you are.”
The Southern nation frowned. “No, he’s not…”
Prussia huffed. “Don’t argue with me on this one. He came to visit West like two weeks ago, and while they were on their little date in the park, he nearly fell in the lake because he wasn’t watching where he was going.”
At that, Romano blinked, then quickly shook his head. “Well… he didn’t fall in the lake in the end, so it doesn’t count.”
“Yeah, because West caught him. He would’ve totally gotten drenched if West hadn't been there.”
“Whatever. At least he doesn’t mess up at meetings…”
“South, what are you talking about? Most of the time he needs West to remind him he even has meetings to attend. His head is mostly in the clouds.”
Romano bristled. “That doesn’t count either. Just shut up! And my fratello (brother) doesn’t have his head in the clouds! Don’t say stupid shit like that!”
Prussia held his hands up in surrender. “Sorry, didn’t mean to offend little Italy.” he paused, then added, “Though, Roma… you’re being unfair to yourself. Why does nothing your brother does count as messing up, but everything you do does?”
Hearing that, Romano fidgeted slightly and looked away anxiously. “Because… I’m not as good as him, so my mistakes will always be worse than his.”
Prussia frowned. “You are good, though.”
“I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.”
“No, I’m not. I’m a jerk to everyone, including you. In what world could that be considered good?”
“Yeah, but we all know you don’t mean half the things you say. And besides your bad mouth, you’re actually pretty nice,” the ex-nation pointed out, then added almost as an afterthought, “Though, personally, I like it when you’re mean to me.”
The Italian paused and looked back at Prussia with surprised eyes. “You… like it when I’m mean to you?”
Prussia seemed to realize what he said and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Ah, now that I think about it, that sounds kind of weird. I didn’t mean it like that. I just like the back and forth between us,” he gestured vaguely. “It’s exhilarating.”
The Southern nation stared at him for a long moment, his heart beating a little faster, before swallowing dryly and looking away. “Something’s definitely wrong with you.” he muttered, but his words lacked any real bite.
“Hah, perhaps, but they say the best ones are the mad ones, so it’s just another perk to my awesome self!” Prussia replied proudly, and Romano couldn’t help but huff in faint amusement.
Prussia noticed and smiled slightly. “You know, South, I really like being around you. You’re very fun. Don’t tell Little Italy, but I definitely prefer you over him. You’re way more exciting.”
“You do…?” Romano asked, looking back at him in shock. Prussia liked him more than his brother? How was that possible?
“Yeah, by a ton!” the former nation exclaimed, then fell quiet for a moment before adding more hesitantly, “You’re my favorite Italy… It’s a shame you don’t see yourself the way I do. Plus... I’ve always liked the South better than the North anyway. The climate’s way nicer at your place.”
The Italian felt as though the air had been knocked out of his lungs. He was Prussia’s favorite Italy. Prussia was choosing him over Veneziano. Romano didn’t know how to process that.
The tightness in his chest slowly began to ease, replaced by a warmth Romano had never felt before. He inhaled sharply, then asked quietly, “What exactly do you like about me?”
Prussia blinked, then let out a small laugh. “Wow, you’re making me pull out the whole list here,” he said, shifting into a thoughtful stance. “Hmm… well, I’ve got a lot to say. I don’t even know where to start.” he paused for a moment, then snapped his fingers as if he had figured it out.
“For starters, I’ve said this before, but I like how devoted you are. You put a lot of effort into managing your country, and even when it isn't about your country, you are still determined. I also like that you are thoughtful and kind, even if you deny it. You think about other people a lot and care about their feelings and preferences, even when you act like a jerk about it. And you are selfless, especially when it comes to your brother. A lot of the time you put his needs ahead of your own and make sure he is okay. As an older brother myself, I really admire that. It is our job to take care of our little brothers.”
The Southern nation’s stomach flipped. Those were the nicest things he had heard in a long while that weren’t from his brother or Spain. He gripped Prussia’s coat tighter around himself and mumbled under his breath, “You really think that about me?”
“Yeah!” the German replied without hesitation, lighting up.
“What… um… what else do you like about me?” Romano asked, his cheeks warming up at his own question.
The former nation’s expression shifted to one of slight amusement. “Never knew you were a praise-kink type of guy.”
Hearing that, Romano went red. “I’m not! Ugh, you know what, whatever, forget I said anything!”
“No, no, I didn’t mean to upset you. I was joking. I’ll tell you more right now,” Prussia said quickly, clearing his throat. “I really like your country’s weather, your food, your architecture, and especially your history and culture. It’s fascinating. I’d honestly spend all my vacations in southern Italy if I could.” he hesitated, then added a little more sheepishly, “I also really like how cute you are.”
Romano sputtered, nearly choking. “The hell are you talking about?! I’m not cute!”
“Yeah, you are, especially when you pout and go like this.” Prussia gestured to himself, then puffed out his cheeks and frowned in a poor imitation of Romano.
The Italian had already been blushing furiously, and now his face only grew hotter. “I do not do that!” he snapped, crossing his arms and turning his head to the side. His lips pursed almost unconsciously, and Prussia noticed, leaning in closer to him with a grin.
“You’re doing it now too.”
“I’m not! Go away!” Romano shot back, covering his mouth with his hands in an attempt to save his dignity.
“Deny it all you want, South, but I’m totally right!” Prussia sing-songed, poking the Italian’s cheek with a finger. Romano immediately shoved his hand away and cursed him out in a colorful stream of Italian insults.
After a few seconds, the two of them settled down into a comfortable silence, broken only by the wind rustling through the trees.
“Hey, older Italy?” Prussia said after a while.
“What?” Romano answered.
“You’re a great nation. I don’t know if I’ll be able to change your mind with this, but you should know that whatever you think about yourself isn’t true. It’s just in your head. Me and the other nations hold you in high regard. No one hates you. You should stop being so harsh on yourself and try to chill out a bit. You’re always focused on your own flaws, so you barely notice anyone else’s, and that makes you think you’re somehow worse than the rest of us. But we all have flaws, even little Italy. We all mess up and fail sometimes. None of us are perfect, and honestly, thank God for that. Perfect is boring.”
The ex-nation’s expression softened as he looked at Romano. “Give yourself a break, and be fairer to yourself. You’re not perfect, but you’re pretty fucking great. Let that be enough for you.”
Romano’s eyes welled up, and he held his breath to stop himself from breaking into sobs again. His chest felt light in a way he couldn’t quite explain. Prussia… this idiot. Him and his stupid words, making everything inside him feel all mushy.
If what he was saying was true, then maybe Romano wasn’t the failure he had always believed himself to be. Maybe he had always been just as good as Veneziano, but he had been too blinded by his own misery and self-criticism to see it.
Romano placed a hand over his racing heart, feeling it pound beneath his palm as he listened to the frantic rhythm in his chest. When he glanced at Prussia and met his soft eyes, he was suddenly overwhelmed by an urge to be close to him. Before he fully understood what he was doing, he closed the distance between them and pulled him into a tight hug.
He didn’t care that it was embarrassing or completely uncharacteristic of him. He just needed to show his gratitude to the Prussian. It was strange. He had always sworn he hated him, yet now he couldn’t feel any hatred in his heart, only an inexplicable sense of adoration.
“Woah, uh… Roma?” Prussia asked, his voice sounding shocked.
Romano didn’t respond right away. He only held onto him tighter before whispering quietly, “Grazie… (thank you).”
The German stiffened for a moment before relaxing and hugging Romano back. “No problem. Happy to be of help.”
They stayed like that for a moment before a cold wind swept past them, and Romano murmured, “I’m cold. I think I’ve lost all feeling in my hands.”
Prussia nodded. “Same, but I don’t think I’m as bad as you.” he said, then pulled back and, to Romano’s surprise, took his hands in his. Prussia’s hands were significantly warmer, and it made Romano shiver. He seriously needed a hot shower or he’d probably end up sick in bed for a week.
“Gee, your hands are like ice cubes. We should head back to little Italy’s before you turn into one yourself.” the former nation remarked as he tried to warm Romano’s hands.
Romano had to fight the urge to curl his fingers with the Prussian’s and instead replied, “I don’t really feel like going back there, especially like this. I look like a wet dog. It’s humiliating.”
Prussia huffed in amusement. “I’m sure little Italy won’t say anything.”
“Maybe he won’t. But the rest of the nations I’m not so familiar with definitely will.”
“You’re exaggerating.”
“Perhaps, but it’s better to be safe than sorry,” Romano said, glancing at the streets still being hit by the rain, though it no longer seemed as violent as before. He sighed. “I was actually heading to my place. I have an apartment here in Venice, but I couldn’t find any cabs to take me there because of this shitty weather.”
“Ah, I see,” Prussia said thoughtfully, then let go of Romano’s hands and took out his phone. “Well, it’s not raining as much as it was, so you might have more luck getting a cab now,” he pointed out, then turned his phone toward Romano. “What’s the address of your apartment?”
The Italian blinked, a bit confused, then typed it into Prussia’s phone. “This one, but I don’t think you’ll find any cabs. You can try your luck, I guess—”
“Found one!”
“What? How?” Romano asked in shock as he leaned over to look at Prussia’s phone.
“I’m just that awesome, that’s how,” the ex-nation replied with a snicker, and Romano immediately punched him in the arm. “Ow, Roma, is that how you treat your savior?”
“Oh, shut up. Don’t get too full of yourself.”
“It’s too late, my ego is this big!” Prussia replied as he stretched his arms wide to emphasize his point.
Romano just rolled his eyes at him, but a small smile was present on his lips.
Prussia noticed that, and the next thing he said left Romano dazed.
“You know, you should smile more. You have a really nice smile.”
“You… you really think so?” the Italian asked slowly.
Prussia nodded enthusiastically, and Romano felt his heart jump in his chest. He brought a hand to his mouth and touched his lips, his smile widening by a fraction. Prussia thought he had a nice smile… the notion made him feel almost giddy. Hm, perhaps his smile wasn’t as bad as he had thought.
It didn’t take long for the cab to arrive. Romano felt himself sigh in relief when he saw it. He couldn’t wait to go to his place, warm up, and eat something. He was starving.
“Well, I guess this is where we part ways,” Prussia said, gesturing toward the cab. “Think I can have my coat back? I’m freezing in my boots here.”
“Oh, uh, yeah,” the Italian said, quickly pulling off the former nation's coat and handing it back to him. “Sorry, I forgot about that.”
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” Prussia replied as he put it on, looking a little warmer now. “I’ll get going. I need to tell little Italy you’re okay, because I’m sure he’s been panicking this whole time. Plus, I want to get out of these wet clothes. I think he might be able to lend me something, though I hope it’ll fit. We don’t really share the same size… like, at all.” he paused for a moment, then shrugged. “Eh, I’ll figure it out.”
Prussia then smiled at Romano. “Well, have a nice day, South. I hope the next time we see each other it’s under better circumstances and you’re not bawling your eyes out. I don’t like seeing you sad. You should be happy.”
With that, he turned on his heel and started to walk away, but before he could leave, Romano went after him and grabbed his hand, stopping him in his tracks. He wasn’t sure why he did it. He just didn’t want to part from Prussia yet.
“Uh, Roma?”
Romano felt his face heat up and swallowed dryly. “Um… if you want, you can come with me to my place. If you walk back to Veneziano’s like this, you’ll probably get sick. I think I might have something that fits you…? I’m not entirely sure. I’ll have to check.”
Prussia stared at him for a long moment, looking like he hadn’t been expecting that, and Romano felt his face grow even hotter. Then Prussia suddenly lit up.
“Are you inviting me over? No way, this is a moment in history! I guess there really is a first for everything!”
Romano blinked. “So… is that a yes?”
Prussia nodded quickly. “Hell yeah! I’d be an idiot to say no to this.” he spun back around with an excited grin. “What are we waiting for? Let’s go! Man, I can’t wait to see your place. I bet it’s decorated really nicely. You Italians have an eye for art and stuff.”
Before Romano could respond, Prussia grabbed his arm and dragged him toward the cab, ushering both of them inside.
Romano cleared his throat. “It’s fine, I suppose. My apartment in the South is way better, though.” he turned to look out the window as the cab started driving away.
“You say that, but when we get there I bet I’ll be blown away.”
Romano huffed but bit back the smile forming on his lips. Prussia was so sweet. How had he never noticed it before?
“Hey, you should probably text little Italy. He was really worried about you.” Prussia suggested, and Romano nodded slightly.
“I will.” he said, grabbing his phone and sending his brother a quick text before scooting closer to Prussia and resting his head on his shoulder. “I’m so tired.” he mumbled, closing his eyes.
“Y-yeah, I am too. It was an eventful day, haha.” the German stammered.
Romano cracked one eye open and raised a brow in confusion at Prussia’s sudden nervousness. The former nation had turned his head away, but even so, Romano could still make out the faint pink dusting his cheeks. The sight made his chest feel warm and fuzzy.
“You can stay the night if you want.”
“I... can?”
“Mhm.”
“Damn, Roma, you’re getting soft on me. If you keep acting like this I might start thinking you like me.”
“Maybe I do.” Romano replied with a shrug, and he felt Prussia jolt slightly beside him at his words.
“You… you do?”
Romano didn’t answer. He simply got more comfortable and started drifting off to sleep.
“No fair, you can’t just say that to me and then ignore me!” Prussia complained, and Romano couldn’t help but feel amused.
It seemed his life wasn’t as terrible as he had once made it out to be. It would take time, but he was determined to stop viewing everything so negatively and to start recognizing that his efforts did matter and that he was loved by others. Maybe this way, he could learn to love himself too. He would really like that.