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"In the fields of astrobiology and astronomy, the term 'habitable zone', also known colloquially as the 'Goldilocks zone', refers to the range of orbits around a star in which a planet residing there could potentially support the presence of liquid water. Not too hot, not too cold, but juuuuust right." Astrophysicist Anthony J. Crowley, a leading researcher in his field, turned away from his PowerPoint slide and gave a beaming, if slightly awkward, grin to the crowd watching his presentation. It had been a tremendous honor to be asked to speak at a UNESCO conference, and the stars in his eyes (pardon the expression) certainly spoke to his excitement.
His audience, however, seemed less than enthused with his attempt at humor. Sure, they were all listening intently and he even got a few chuckles out of folks, but overall he was met with a wall of silence and gazes heavy with expectation. Or maybe that's just what the people of Denmark were like. He cleared his throat. "Anyway, on the subject of habitable zones..." He clicked over to the next slide, displaying a diagram of Alpha Centauri. A small planet had been highlighted. "That right there is Proxima Centauri b. This is the closest exoplanet to us that is located within its stars habitable zone. I would propose we launch a satellite towards it in order to see if there is indeed liquid water on its surface. Proxima Centauri b is approximately 4.2 light-years from earth, but with a powerful enough telescope-"
A hand shot up from the crowd, belonging to a scruffy blond man whose glasses hung crookedly from his ears. He was young, likely mid-twenties at most, with a shrewd, calculating look to him. Anthony glanced at the man's name tag: Ryland Grace.
"Mister Grace-"
"Doctor Grace, actually."
"Doctor-Grace-Actually..." Anthony huffed. "Please hold your questions until the end of my presentation."
"Why waste all this time and money going to Proxima Centauri when Mars is so much closer?" Grace plowed on, heedless of Anthony's request.
Anthony closed his eyes for a moment to center himself. It wouldn't do to rise to the young man's bait.
But then again, patience had never been his strong-suit.
He gestured to his slide.
"Liquid water," he deadpanned. "We already know Mars doesn't have it. And all life needs water to-"
"No it doesn't."
Soft gasps and murmurs of confusion rose from the crowd as Grace stood from his chair like a man on a mission. Anthony's mouth flopped uselessly like a dying fish's.
"I beg your pardon?" he settled for saying.
"There's nothing magical about hydrogen and oxygen," Grace explained, holding his arms out at his sides. "Maybe other planets have different rules. Maybe microbial life exists on the surface of Mars, surviving without the need for water."
Anthony sighed and removed his glasses to clean them with the end of his tie. He needed to give his hands something to do, otherwise he was going to start swinging at the young upstart.
"Dr. Grace, Curiosity has already taken sample of Martian soil and no such microbes have been discovered," he finally said, perching his glasses back upon his nose.
Grace sputtered for a moment before regaining his composure.
"That was just an example," he muttered. "Perhaps we'd have more luck on Venus-"
"Every lander we've ever sent hasn't lasted longer than two hours on the Venusian surface-"
"-perhaps nitrogen-based lifeforms rather than carbon-based-"
"-what's next? Silica-based? But back to the distinct lack of water-"
"-which may not even be necessary-"
Maybe it was presentation jitters, maybe it was having to wake up early, maybe it was sleeping in an unfamiliar hotel room without his angel, but one Anthony J. Crowley had had enough.
He slammed his hand down atop the podium so hard that the aged bones of his hand buzzed from the impact and the microphone wobbled dangerously.
"Dr. Grace! Are you really suggesting we abandon centuries of knowledge regarding the biomechanics of life on the hunch of a thesis statement one undergrad could have written in a month?!"
Anthony knew he'd gone too far when Grace's mouth dropped open before his expression curdled into one of stupefied rage.
"Well maybe if some of us weren't decrepit, staggering wastes of carbon stuck clinging to outdated dogma-!"
The room burst into horrified gasps as Grace's mouth snapped shut with an audible clack of his teeth. Someone nearby called for security. Across the space between them, Grace and Anthony's eyes met in a shared moment of oh shit before conference security appeared on either side of the interloper.
"Alright, buddy, that's enough out of you. Either sit back down or leave and take your disruption with you," one of the barrel-chested security guards said.
Grace batted their hands away.
"Fine. Consider me gone."
Without so much as a backwards glance, Grace stormed from the conference hall, making sure to slam the doors behind him as he went. Anthony winced at the sound before exhaling his frustration in a long woosh of air.
"Right. Well then." He returned to his presentation. "As I was saying..."
"He said what?!"
"A staggering waste of carbon?! Me?!"
"I know. You're a delightful waste of carbon."
"Har har."
Anthony ceased his incensed pacing of his hotel room and flopped back onto his bed, the phone still pressed against his ear. "Well, security came and escorted him out for causing a ruckus. Good thing too, 'cause I was about to throw my cane at him."
"Well if I had been there, I'd have certainly given him a stern talking-to," huffed the voice on the other end of the line. Anthony barked out a laugh, then sighed wistfully.
"I miss you, Asa."
"I miss you too, dearest. But just two more days and you'll be home."
"Already looking forward to it, angel."
Anthony and his husband spent a few more minutes exchanging stories of their days and asking questions about the other's before they were interrupted by a jaw-cracking yawn from Anthony. "'m tired. Gonna turn in."
"Alright, darling. Dream of whatever you like best."
"You," came the sleepy reply.
"And you as well. Hopefully today was the first and last you'll see of that rude young man."
"Yeah. Kid like that's never gonna get anywhere in this field with that kinda stubbornness. Mark my words, angel."
END