Work Text:
It starts with Jude's terrible plan and the mere coincidence that Sharpness happened to be around to serve as a witness.
Basically, Tai had rounded up most of the fighters on the server for a friendly tournament, Sharpness included. Before the matches had even started, he'd caught Jude's eye from up in the stands and knew the man was planning something. This leads to Jude making him resign early, and Sharpness becomes an accomplice in order to ensure his own survival. He barely understands the plan, but it knows that it involves dripstone, pistons, and too much redstone for his liking. In other words, a standard Judelow trap.
The -- prank? Murder attempt? He doesn't actually know why Jude wanted to do this in the first place -- backfires in minutes. Of course it does. Maybe he shouldn't have let Jude persuade him to be his trapping assistant, maybe they should've gotten another person to help, someone who actually knows how traps work. Maybe, maybe, they should've just not picked a fight against, like, six people at once.
They're out of the arena now, sprinting across the grass plains. Sharpness has Jude's wrist clutched in his, and he'd feel awfully exposed about all of this if not for the invisibility they currently have on, the one part of Jude's plan that actually succeeded. They reach the nearest structure, Jude's base, while their would-be pursuers are still reeling at what just happened. Reeling, and unfortunately still not dead.
Rows of rooms line the wooden hallway of the base, and Sharpness suddenly realises how terrible of a plan this was. Now that they're trapped underground, all they can do now is hide in a hole and hope Tai's group somehow makes a wrong turn, or gets bored or something. Jude, however, doesn't pause, dragging him forward and towards another room.
Sharpness lets himself get pulled around, watching blankly as Jude locks the door behind them. They're fully trapped now, and he suddenly suspects that Jude must have a concussion or something, because genuinely why would he put them in this situation?
The shouting is getting louder; they're fast approaching.
"Jude, tell me you have a plan," he says, somewhat frantically. Dying because of Jude for the millionth time would be so embarrassing. Dying because he let himself get pulled around by Jude -- because he'd let the man do anything to him, really, and this crush has really been ruining his life with how much it's been jeopardising his everything -- is like the biggest aura loss he's ever had to face.
"Dig a hole and pray?" Jude replies, half-jokingly.
Sharpness turns to look at him, deadpan, and finds that he's actually being serious. So, they're cooked.
Dol9hin's voice is the loudest, barely cutting through the layers of walls. "--and don't think you can hide, 'cause we have TnT!" she's shouting.
“Spread out!" Tai says. "Someone get Judelow, see if he's seen them, I'm pretty sure he's home today. He'll crash out if we nuke his base. They have to be in here, I know it.”
“Shit,” Jude curses under his breath.
Sharpness steps away from the door to examine his surroundings more closely. It's nicer than he thought it'd be -- in his imagination, Jude lived in a workshop, not an actual human home -- with a bed, table, all the workings. The walls are a pattern of stone and oak, and there's no windows to escape from. Of course not, they're underground.
“I have an idea,” Jude says suddenly, hesitatingly.
Before Sharp can even ask what, Jude's hands are on his chest, pulling open the buckles of his armour.
"What the fuck." Sharpness says, frozen in place.
"They never saw us. Our invis only ran out after we entered my base, and you heard what Dol9hin said about bombing my shit. I'm not about to deal with that plus dying," Jude explains. He takes a step forward, and Sharpness steps back, and when the back of his legs hit the bed, he realises what Jude's trying to do. "They won't suspect us if they think we've been fucking the whole time."
Sharpness chokes on nothing. "What the fuck."
"I have no other ideas, bro," Jude says. "You can say you left early to come see me and then we-- well. That's an alibi for the both of us, and you know how Tai is, he'll eat it up instantly."
The chestplate is removed, and Jude pulls his own hoodie off. He pauses midway through removing his shirt.
"Is-- is this okay? If you'd rather just get killed, I mean, I don't really--" he starts.
Sharpness sighs. "It's our best shot, you're right. I guess having sex with you wouldn't be the most embarrassing thing I've done on this server."
Jude flashes him a grin, unbuttoning his shirt but leaving it on, hanging loose and open off his shoulders. He leans forward to tug at Sharpness's undershirt, too, and Sharpness can't help but stare.
He's seen him shirtless before, countless times, and yet this feels-- different. Before, it was always to bandage up wounds, or that one time they went swimming, but now? In his bedroom, sitting on his bed, about to do something that he's been fantasising about for months on end?
"What?" Jude asks, brow furrowed. He slides Sharpness's shirt off easily, and it joins the rapidly growing pile on the floor.
Sharpness's mouth is dry. "Nothing. Nothing, let's just-- they're close, I can hear them."
Jude kicks off his boots and clambers into the bed in a sitting-up position. "Take your shoes off, Sharp, they're gross as hell. I'm not getting that in my bed."
Sharpness complies. He's acting way too weird about this, Jude can probably tell by now. He can feel how red his face is, and he's unsure what to do before the sound of knocking gets louder. Jude grabs his arm and positions him in on top of him before sitting up a bit to pull the blankets over them both. His pale neck is right in Sharpness's face, and he holds his breath until Jude settles back down.
"This is the worst plan you've ever had," Sharpness chokes out, trying valiantly to not look at him.
"Chill out, bro," Jude whispers.
"Do not call be bro when I'm supposed to be pretending to dick you down, bitch," he hisses in reply.
Jude deigns not to respond, adjusting their legs so that Sharpness's thigh is pressed between his own. Fortunately, they didn't have enough time to get rid of pants, and Sharpness silently thanks his bulky armour for hiding any sort of movement that may be occurring.
“Is this alright?” Jude murmurs.
He nods.
Jude closes his eyes and moans. It's theatrical, so clearly fake, and yet Sharpness feels heat settling in his stomach regardless. He tries to smother it, forcibly regulating his breathing to a normal, unaroused speed.
"Your turn."
His face is definitely red now. "Do I have to? I could be like the silent type, right?"
"If I have to bottom, the least you could do is get humiliated with me," Jude argues.
"Fine," he spits, and makes a... noise. It's more a grunt than anything, but trails off shakily in a way that he hopes is realistic. Eyes squeezed shut, he misses the expression that flashes across Jude's face.
"That okay?" he asks.
Jude clears his throat. "Yeah. Nicely done."
They both pause for a second to listen for the footsteps, but to his dismay, they're even closer now. Jude shifts a little, tightening his legs around Sharpness as if he's grinding against him. Sharpness's hands are flat against the mattress, shaking as he forces himself to ignore the expanse of skin beneath him. The bed creaks from Jude's shifting around, and there's knocking on their neighbouring door, and they're coming closer, now.
"Now what?" he mutters.
"They can hear us from out there, right?" Jude considers. He cranes his neck towards the door, squinting as if he could somehow view the players through solid wood. "I guess we just up the ante."
"And how do you plan to do that--"
Jude gasps, loudly, high-pitched and dramatic. His hands white-knuckle into the blankets, and if Sharpness didn't know better, he'd think the rabbit hybrid was genuinely getting off on this.
"Don't be so loud, that's so..." His train of thought rapidly veers off-track when Jude starts making these-- sounds, cut-off whimpers that are crumbling down Sharpness's frankly very thin wall of self-control. "Ah... um. Jude." They're so close. Sharpness suddenly realises this, the fact that they are so, so close, that their faces are centimetres apart, the rest of their bodies even less so. It's suddenly really, really hot, and maybe that's just the blanket's fault. Yeah, he'll say that it's just the blanket, take the easy way out.
Jude's eyes are bright with amusement, pink irises fixed on his face. The corner of his mouth slants up in a mocking smirk, as if he knows what he's doing to him, and Sharpness doesn't know if he wants to kiss or strangle him. He sounds pitchy, lewd, and it's weird to hear the same voice that he's used to hearing spit insults and trash-talk, reduced to this. Sharpness groans against his will, and he's straining against his armour leggings, and why didn't he remove them earlier, and all he can think about is Jude, Jude, Jude--
He tries to move backwards before he does something he regrets, but then Jude's legs are wrapping around his waist, and he's paralysed, frozen in place.
“Jude,” he begs, again. His voice sounds thin, even to himself. The throbbing is getting unbearable now, a painful heat, and in this position, he suddenly realises, he could take him apart so easily, break him down into a trembling puddle under his grip. It wouldn't even be hard.
“S'fine,” Jude reassures breathlessly. His hand trails up Sharp's back, one arm circling around his shoulders, the other deftly pulling his hair ribbon loose before fingers are buried in his hair. Sharpness makes a strangled noise he's surely going to think about later in pure mortification, because none of this is even remotely fine, because the door is being kicked down and he's tense, restraining himself more than he's ever had to in his entire life, because--
He makes his decision: leaning forward, he kisses him.
Jude stutters to a halt for a beat before eagerly reciprocating. His mouth is hot and hungry, and Sharpness can feel the point of his teeth against his tongue. The hand in his hair tightens, almost painfully, and he loses himself in the moment, they both seem to, and the thumping of an axe against the door is drowned out by the sound of blood rushing in his ears and Jude below him.
They break off abruptly to catch their breaths. Sharpness doesn't think, just shifts downwards, his mouth against Jude's neck. Jude's breath hitches in a gasp, and this time it sounds softer, more genuine. Sharpness's hands are grabbing at Jude's waist, his thighs, every part of him that he can reach.
Distantly, he hears the door slamming open.
"Hey, Judelow, have you seen--"
With some difficulty, Jude disentangles himself, perching up on his elbows to see the intruder. Eyes glazed, hair mussed up, a furious blush that spreads from his hairline down to his chest, he looks properly debauched. His voice comes out hoarse, played up for realism, "Dol9hin, n-now's not really the best, ah--"
Sharpness doesn't know what possesses him in that moment, but he lunges for him, pinning him back down against the mattress. Fake or not, he doesn't want anyone seeing Jude like this any longer than necessary. Jude's hips jerk upwards, the bed creaks, and he lets out a strung-out, pathetic whine; all for show, but it sounds so real. His arms tighten around Sharpness's neck, one hand tugging into his hair, blunt nails scratching at his scalp. The blanket slides down slightly, and Sharpness realises with a thrill what this must look like--
"Sharp," Jude yelps, garbled, but catches himself halfway through, and the exclamation trails off in a more controlled moan. He sounds wrecked-- Sharpness knew he was a good actor, but this extent is more than he was ready for. He pants Jude's name, clamps down harder on his neck.
"Oh, what the fuck--" Dol9hin blurts out, horrified. She immediately shuts the door, the sound of boots on wood echoing as she seemingly sprints down the hallway.
Jude freezes against him, one ear twitching. "Wait," he whispers, breath tickling his ear, and Sharpness forces himself off Jude's neck. They're both panting now, the sound deafening in the otherwise silent room.
"We need to go, they're not here," he can barely hear Dol9hin say. She sounds genuinely traumatised, and he feels kind of sorry for her.
"You're sure? What was in that--"
She lowers her voice to reply. The group outside falls silent, as if waiting for something, so Sharpness leans down to lick at Jude's neck, drawing out a surprised yelp.
"Louder," he mumbles into his jaw. "They need to hear it."
Catching on, Jude cries out an exaggerated, wordless moan, the loudest so far, before his voice devolves into heavy, reedy breathing.
"Oh, hell nah..." someone says. Jude repeats the sound, this time with Sharpness's name, and then lifts his fist to bang it several times against the headboard behind him.
Without argument, the whole group evacuates immediately; Sharpness can hear trailing laughter follow them out.
Jude lets his head fall back down against his pillow. His lips are red, kissed swollen. "Finally," he sighs. "I can't believe that worked. God, that was terrible."
The blanket slides off Sharpness's bare shoulders and Jude's staring at him now. He immediately climbs off him, avoiding eye contact as he rolls off the bed and onto the floor. It's cold without the blanket, without a warm body beneath him.
"Dude--" Jude's laughing, a tilted smirk on his lips. "Bro, why are you on the floor?"
He tugs on his shirt roughly, looking anywhere that isn't at Jude, who's still lying in the bed, laughing to himself. He seems to have moved on in the half-minute it's been since the intruders left. Of course, this meant nothing-- how could he possibly think differently? To think that he'd get false hope, be tricked by this man for the thousandth time--
Jude's laughter peters out to a stop. "...Sharp?" he asks, unsure.
He stumbles to his feet, collecting his things. "I'm leaving. Good plan, Jude."
"Wait, Sharp--" Jude's sitting up now, blankets pooling around his waist, and Sharpness can see the bruising on his neck in clear sight and he wants to die from embarrassment.
"No, seriously. Nice one," he says, voice terse. "Really well done. Bye."
He shoves the chestplate into his inventory and equips his elytra. Refusing to look back, he misses the look on Jude's face, and tries to leave the room with prickling eyes and a dry throat.
A hand on his wrist stops him dead in his tracks.
"What." he bites out.
"At least wait 'till they're far enough-- they'll get suspicious, bro." Jude urges him. Sharpness hates that he's right, resigning himself to sulking in the furthest corner of the room.
They fall into uncomfortable silence as Jude puts his clothes back on. The air is thick with tension.
"It can't have been that bad," Jude grumbles to himself, tying his shoes back on. "Like, damn, way to hurt a guy's feelings."
"Hurt-- are you kidding me? You're the one who was doing all that, knowing damn well what I thought of you. You can't just--"
"And what do you think of me, Sharpness? You hate me that much?" Jude retorts. "This is your fault, anyway."
"Are you fucking serious-- you're the one who said we should do this to begin with!" Sharpness yells.
"And you're the one who kissed me first!"
A beat. To Sharpness's shock, Jude looks hurt, almost, his face blooming red.
"Why did you have to do that, bro?" He asks, voice strained. "Why, if you didn't mean it?"
"...Who said I didn't?"
Jude's eyes widen. Sharpness steps closer, and closer, and closer, until they're nose to nose.
"Can I kiss you again?" He asks quietly.
Jude reaches up. His hands slide into Sharpness's hair, and he brings their lips together as his answer.
They stay there, Sharpness's hands snaking around Jude's waist, until he breaks off to speak.
"You can do more than that," Jude says, and his eyes, dilated, are still fixated on Sharpness's lips. "I mean, with the size of that group, the whole server definitely thinks we're fucking by now, so we might as well--"
Sharpness tackles him into the bed. Jude's fingers are already scrabbling at the buckles of his unwieldy armoured pants, Sharpness pulling open the buttons of his shirt.
"Gladly," he breathes.