Chapter Text
You Died!
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Revive
Title Screen
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Avery stares at his computer screen, a gentle headache prodding at his forehead.
12:00 A.M
Fireworks set off outside his window, just to the left of the desk his computer sat on. His nose wrinkles, warping a weird scrunched up way. Avery’s ears are somehow barricading the excruciatingly loud cheers outside his apartment. His eyes swell, tears pooling on his waterlines. He bites down on his lip, an icky iron taste flooding his senses. Mixing blood with salt water from his tears, which are streaming down his cheeks, was rather unpleasant. Avery can’t bring himself to look away from his computer screen.
It was New Year’s Day now, and he had spent 15 hours playing a dumb game about blocks. 15 hours trying to find someone he would never know. He couldn’t get over solely being able to know his name. He wishes he could’ve saved him, wishes he didn’t have to spend a new year alone, wishes he could think of anything else to say besides; ’I’m sorry’.
Avery’s head collapses into his hands, elbows resting on the cold wood of his desk. He sobs for a good while, breath hitching rhythmically with the fireworks rejoicing in the sky. The world was saved, millions— dare he say billions, of lives would get to be fulfilled because of Derek’s decision. But his world would never be the same. Avery was willing to risk everything, and he would over and over again, in every universe.
Hours go by, and the cheering dies down, allowing the ringing in his head to dull out. Avery hadn’t eaten, he hadn’t slept, his energy was but a droplet of beer in a barrel meant to be full. So as his mind numbs, processing everything slowly but surely, he passes out on his desk. His arms are slumped in a mess, face burrowed in between the dark crevices. Just as quickly as he’s asleep, the clock to the right of his computer beeps, prompting his eyes to shoot open.
6:30 A.M
It feels too early for him to get up, but reluctantly he pushes himself away from his desk, rising from his chair with trial and error. He stumbles a few times— god how long had it been since he’s walked? —everything was sore. Avery choked out a few weak coughs, rubbing his eyes pitifully. Making it to his restroom was a tough task, despite only being about 12 feet from where he was sitting. Avery uses a finger to lazily flick the light switch. He meets his own eyes in the mirror, taking in his disheveled appearance. His short, fluffed up dreads were all messy and ill taken care-of. Dark bags dressed his deep green eyes, looking like a burnt forest compared to the verdant hues of his irises. Avery took a hand and gently rubbed his face, using his fingers to smooth over the rough skin beneath his eyes.
”God, I look a mess..” He mumbles.
A shaky sigh exits his mouth. He glances down to his toothbrush, neatly placed in a small cup beside the sink. Just thinking about the effort it would take to complete a task such as brushing his teeth made him sick. He decided on using cold water from his sink to wash his face, at the very least allowing some sort of relief. He couldn’t help himself from thinking about Derek, which made it hard not to break down and cry again. He hated himself for not being able to save someone he cared so much about, guilty even though inevitably he couldn’t do anything about it.
Avery grabs a towel and messily dabs his face. He balls up the square piece of fabric and places it gently on his bathroom counter. After taking a moment to stabilize his thoughts again, he manages his way to his apartment’s kitchen. He looks for something filling but easy to prepare, a snack if anything. Unfortunately, he was let down by an empty fridge and a pantry with peanut butter, but no bread. He supposes grocery shopping was on his mental list of things to do now, even though he’d rather rot in bed. He grabs a reusable bag, his bike lock, and his apartment keys, then proceeds out the door. Avery wasn’t one to use a car, especially with how expensive gas was nowadays, so he settled on peddling his trusty bike. Before getting on, he places the reusable bag and bike lock into the basket hung to the front of his bike, then stuffs his keys in the pocket of his pajama pants. He attempts to get onto his bike with measly effort, but somehow succeeds. With a bit of force to push himself off, Avery begins riding towards his local grocery store.
His thoughts linger, not being totally present while steering through sidewalks and people crowding nearby parks. He was nearly grazed by a few cars on the way, only snapping back into reality after getting honked at. Avery shakes his head to clear it, sniffling a few times. He couldn’t tell if the wet under his eyes was from the brisk air drying them or the thought of Derek’s cold body. Although, before he had time to process said thought, he was pulling into the grocery store’s parking lot. He steers himself towards a bike rack to the left of the entrance. He grabs his things from the basket, then locks up the bike’s frame. When Avery enters the store, he’s overwhelmed by the blaring lights overhead. Thankfully the store wasn’t too crowded at 7:30. He walks around the store for a moment, avoiding anything that could remind him of Derek. At least, that was until Blue Orchids caught his eye. He paused, staring at the flowering beauty in front of him. He recalled those 12 hours, restlessly roaming around, then being saved by him. What were the words?
You are real
You are special
Remember who you are
He had a way with words, one he wished he could have heard more of. His eyes watered again, but no tears fell. Perhaps it was dehydration getting to him, but he mindlessly grabbed 6 different pots of the Blue Orchids. He struggled to carry all of them, but managed to arrange them carefully in a way he could. Avery grabbed a few necessities for food, then walked to a checkout line. He must have looked insane to the cashier; scanning several flower pots and exchanging glances with a person who has dark stained eye-bags like he hadn’t slept in days. Thankfully he didn’t have to communicate very much, and a simple ’have a nice day’ was sufficient. He carried the batches of flowers and few groceries to his bike, hanging one bag on the handle bars and the rest in the basket mounted onto his bike. After releasing the lock, he would bike home with little to no interruptions.
Avery arrives home, deciding while he places the orchids on his dining table that he is going to plant some in a nearby field. His apartment wasn’t very remote, but the valley was in relative biking distance. He had picked up a stone from outside his apartment before coming in, which he was now etching in with a pocket knife. He writes the words;
’D3rlord3:
Derek
I wish I could have known you better. I’m sorry I loved you.’
A couple of mingling tears rain onto the stone’s surface. Avery’s lip quivers, a dull look to his eyes. He lets himself slowly inhale, then exhale as the wave of grief washes by him.
The rest of his morning is spent eating dry cereal, not being able to bring himself to make much else, nor eat more than a bowl anyhow. He attempts drinking water, but anything over a small sip makes his stomach hurl. Avery curls up in his bed, holding his torso with his arms, closing his eyes and wishing insomnia would disappear. Derek knew him better than anyone, anything, even himself. He wishes he was able to see what Derek even saved. He wasn’t the best kid, not very good grades, definitely not the top of his class. His parents were constantly dissatisfied with his performance. Avery doesn’t blame them, though.
He was a disappointment. Sure he had his own apartment, his own home, but that’s from scraping the bottom of his wallet. The only stable job he’s ever had is the one he has currently, and even then being a barista is hard enough when he can’t get out of bed. Why did he deserve saving?
6:45 P.M
His clock rings, letting him know the sun would soon set behind the horizon. Reluctantly, Avery rises from his warm sheets that embraced him coldly. He walks toward the orchids, still sat on his dining table. He grabs the clump of them, the stone he engraved, and makes his way out of his apartment once more. He does his usual routine; adjusting things in the basket of his bike until they fit just right. Setting off with a mission, he bikes about 30 minutes to a nice, reclusive spot in the valley. He grabs the orchids, juggling them in his arms while simultaneously holding the stone. Avery pads his way over to the grass.
He looks out towards the sun setting, its face hidden behind the horizon and mountains. The green grass swayed gently with the breeze, hugging his feet as he crosses through the field. He finds a beautiful patch of white flowers, a perfect blank space in the middle of them just for Derek. Avery settles in the space, a soft smile; his first one since, as he places the stone in the tender ground. He pats dirt around the base of the stone to secure its position. He stares at the lettering he etched, melancholy making his smile fade to a frown. He takes the Blue Orchids, planting them ever so gently around the stone, giving it a blue frame. His fingers scrunch on his shorts, a poor attempt to keep him from crying more.
”I.. I’m so sorry, Derek.” Avery choked out, his throat closing up. “You deserved so much more.. more than me..” He whispers, just beneath his breath. “Please.. come back to me, Derek.. I.. I miss you, so much…” For some reason, Avery thought he would feel Derek beside him, but he didn’t. The only thing he felt brush his shoulder was the embrace of shadow hitting his back as the horizon closes over the sun.
With his broken confession carved in the stone, Avery figures his time here is up. He slowly wobbles to his feet, walking back toward his bike.
His return home took longer than his ride there, perhaps feeling heavier with depression riding on his shoulders. He steps into his apartment, hanging his keys back on the rack where they came from. He was exhausted, but his eyes urged him to look at the computer on his desk. For old times sake, maybe he’d open it one last time, of course before putting it somewhere safe. He sits down in his chair, opens the laptop’s screen and watches it boot up. He drags the mouse to open Minecraft, clicking on the ’Play’ button. In the top right corner, he hovers over the ’Friends’ tab. He would expect to see D3rlord3 offline.
It takes him a moment to register the green dot beside his username.
D3rlord3: Online