Chapter Text
In hindsight, he should have payed more attention, all the puzzles pieces of Shane’s weird behavior throughout the months suddenly started making sense and if he had a hammer near he would have hit himself with it over his head.
But had just been so happy to finally have Shane on his team, to play together and finally, finally be out in the open. It was his dream come true.
Of course he knew that in order for his dream to have become reality, Shane’s nightmare had taken place. But wasn’t it all worth it to finally be together, fully?
He should have asked more, he should have seen Shane not reacting as something to worry about instead of just assuming everything is fine just because their on the same team now.
Maybe then his partner wouldn’t be swaying in the locker room, reeking of cheap vodka, half an hour before they had a game against the Montreal Voyageures.
“Ilyaaaa, Captainnn I’m fine, I promise I can playy and beat the shit out of those fuckerss!”
And maybe Ilya would have believed him if he hadn’t slurred the words together in between drunken hics.
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“Are you sure you are okay, malysh?”
”Hm? Oh yeah I am okay”
But Ilya wasn’t convinced, his pretty Shane was flushed up to his neck, his beautiful freckles almost invisible by the reddish glow. He gently placed a hand on Shane’s forehead, checking for a fever.
And if Ilya wasn’t already worried, he would have started now as Shane didn’t even try to tear his hand away, yes they were out and Shane had gotten better at being affectionate with him but still at events for the charity, usually, Shane would revert back to old habits.
This time around he just accepted Ilya’s hand and to his shock even slightly leaned into it. He wasn’t necessarily hot, maybe a bit more than his usual body temperature but nothing Ilya would mark as concerning.
“I think you are maybe a little warmer than normal” said Ilya despite himself thinking it wasn’t heat worth noting and gently brushed Shane’s cheek before he let his hand disappear into his pocket where he nervously started to fidget with a lose thread from his tailored pants.
Shane hummed “Yeah it’s just kinda stuffy in here, all the people heating up the place probably.”
He smiled softly at Ilya, most likely trying to reassure him as he noticed that Shane’s eyes started focusing on something behind him. Probably looking for the door so he could go breath in some fresh air. Good idea.
”You want to go outside for some fresh air, malysh-“ As Ilya talked he witnessed in slow motion as his Shane, who never drank during the season, who never even thought of drinking or eating outside his strict plan, was suddenly picking up a wine glass from the waiter walking around the room.
“Ah, thank you so much!” exclaimed Shane, sounding cheerful for the first tonight.
And consequently, he gulped down almost all of the liquid in one go. Eyes pinching as the wine taste grated at his throat.
“Hey-Shane, maybe-“ he started but he actually didn’t know what he wanted to say exactly. Maybe slow down? Maybe don’t drink? And btw since when DO you drink? At important events nonetheless? Are you a stranger looking like Shane? Because his Shane would never drink poison in a fancy glass.
As Ilya spaced out, processing the scene before him, another waiter waltzed to them offering his plate for Shane to place his empty glass. Oh right, empty glass? When had Shane finished the wine. Did he even taste it?
“Shane, sweetheart what the fuck” he whisper yelled. Good start, right?
“What?” He asked obliviously, brown eyes growing glazed as the alcohol probably settled in his system.
”Since when do you drink-“ and as if the universe hated him their conversation was cut of by no other but: Hayden Pike! Beloved 15th best Metros player! The dumb idiot who outed them! Outed Shane!
”Buddy! Heyyy come over here dude, lets catch up!”
And so this incident fell through the gutter, as Shane returned back to Ilya in one piece, they did their obligatory speech, thanking all their sponsors and Shane didn’t even stutter. He was sleepy but no longer as flushed as before.
And Ilya had been roped up in many other pleasant conversations that he no longer batted an eye at the small incident that had occurred. Maybe Shane was just trying to cool off with the glass? Probably, yes.
Nothing to worry about, they were after all happy, finally on the same team and out to the world.
Everything was fine.
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“-nd he had the audacity to just end the call on me! Can you believe that?” recounted Yuna at their weekly dinner.
“Very rude, do they not know that they are speaking to Yuna fucking Hollander?” He said, almost in a theatrical way.
They engaged in more mundane conversation, just the two of them. Yes they always talked more at these dinners but usually, David and Shane would have their own conversation or quip up in their conversation with small comments. Never were they fully silent.
Still talking to Yuna he slowly averted his gaze to get a look at his father in law’s face.
And what he found there surprised him, he was intensely staring at Shane in worry. Almost as if he was trying to communicate with his eyes alone what he seemed to be able to communicate in words. Shane on the other hand was avoiding his gaze, deciding to pick at his chicken parmezan.
“Anyone more wine?” Asked Yuna as she poured her own glass to the brim.
And again like at the night from the charity event, time seemed to slow down. His Shane silently picked up his glass and held it up expectingly to Yuna, who just made an unreadable face but obliged and poured some of the red liquid in Shane’s wine glass.
And like before, Ilya was left reeling, it was such a simple act but for some reason a heavy feeeling settled in his chest. And by the looks of it, he wasn’t the only one feeling this weight as he watched David’s face pull itself into a unpleasant grimace.
“Thank you” said Shane quietly and that was that.
Yuna continued to talk about whatever sponsorships had contacted her, David’s face stayed in the same grimace and Shane,
Shane just gulped down the wine in one go.
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Now this events happend with considerable time between them, although that wasn’t really an excuse he liked to use because he should know his husband better right? His routine-loving, change-hating husband.
Yes, now husband. Not only was he over the moon to play on the same team as Shane, but now he could say that he was playing with his husband on the same team. He couldn’t be happier.
So happy he was, so easily things started slipping his perceptive eyes.
And it was so easy, Shane had grown more relaxed as time went on. No longer religiously following his diet. Allowing Ilya to cook him Russian dishes and actually eating them how theyre supposed to be eaten. With lots of sour cream.
He went out with the team, occasionally also participating in the rounds of shots. But not to an extreme.
He still rested at home from time to time, sending Ilya to go out with the team to have fun, even without him.
So all things considered life was normal, good, extremely good even.
He still had bad days but those were sparse and always soothed away with the love of his life, Shane.
“Have fun, baby” mumbled Shane as parted from their kiss.
”Will not have so much fun without you, but I will try malysh” he said and successfully getting a small chuckle out of Shane.
And in the end he did actually have fun at the club, his teammates proving themselves as entertaining once again.He had despite that still writen his husband that he had missed him dearly.
“Why is my husband at homeee and not heree”
”I love you”
”Cant wait to see you later”
All sent but none had gotten a reply, or even read. But he didn’t worry too much, maybe just a little. His husband was probably sleeping, tucked in all nice with the ambient lights still on and dreaming about what he read before his bedtime.
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“Sweetheart! I am homeee!” He called out into their house, but getting no response.
Well right,like he assumed, Shane was probably already asleep. It was pretty late after all.
He walked up to their bedroom, excited already to see Shane’s sleeping face which looked incredibly young and reminded him of small, shy rookie Shane that he so dearly loved.
But to his dismay, there was no Shane, also no husband in the kitchen or other rooms. He searched in a frenzy, the few shots of alcohol he had mixing up badly with his rising panic.
“Shane, malysh! Where are you” he called out.
Only one room, that he had avoided, was left to search. The bathroom.
He could see that the light was on there. The dread grew and grew and in a moment of distress he just opened the door.
And no nightmare could have prepared him for what had awaited him.
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