Work Text:
"Sara?"
The door creaked open and Dr. Li appeared, wearing a blue dress and a white cardigan. Her layered jet-black hair fell just below her shoulders and was parted to the side.
Sara slung her tote bag over her shoulder and stood up from her chair, making sure to push it back towards the table. Dr. Li smiled at her while she held open the door, and Sara exited the room. She waited to hear the door close before starting to walk to Dr. Li's office.
"How have you been?"
"Um," Sara hesitated for a second, "I'm fine?"
"Fine," Dr. Li repeated, "What does that mean?"
Dr. Li's office had only been a short walk down the hall from the conference room, so Sara took the seat next to Dr. Li's desk and set her tote bag on the table to the left.
"Just, things aren't going great."
Dr. Li closed the office door before taking a seat at her desk, then moving her chair closer and turning to face Sara.
"What's been going on?" She asked, her voice going softer.
"It's just my anxiety," Sara said not looking at Dr. Li but at the window on the east side of the office room.
"What about it?"
"The thoughts have been ruminating, and the shame, I can't deal with it."
Dr. Li said nothing, but looked at the girl in front of her with a concerned look. Sara looked at her back, but then turned her head to the left, looking at the cat pin she had put on her tote bag.
"Hey," Dr. Li whispered, "Can you stay with me for a second?"
Sara tensed, suddenly feeling a touch on her knee, and looked back at the doctor, who had scooted her chair closer. But she stayed in place, not moving away from the touch.
"S-sorry," she whispered back, her cheeks turning red.
"It's okay," Dr. Li whispered, and she moved her hand higher up Sara's thigh, moving her thumb up and down and applying gentle pressure. At this Sara let out an involuntary whimper, hoping it hadn't been loud enough for anyone outside the room to here.
"Can you tell me about the thoughts you've been having?" Dr. Li, asked casually, as if she hadn't noticed the noise Sara made and the way her face was growing even more red.
"T-they're, 's embarrassing," she said, biting the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from making any more noise.
"I can only help you if you tell me what they are," Dr. Li said, her voice still soft but with a firmness behind them.
"I'm afraid if I tell you, y-you'll kick me out."
At this Dr. Li laughed, tilting her body back in her chair, her hand leaving the girl's thigh. Sara winced at the loss of contact, wishing the doctor's hand was still on her body.
"They're not about me, are they?" she asked the girl, her voice just as quiet as before but not as gentle.
Sara said nothing, and just looked at Dr. Li, trying to tell what she was thinking. They sat like that for a moment. Neither saying anything nor making any drastic changes to their facial expressions. Then suddenly, Dr. Li's lips crept into a smile.
"What kind of thoughts do you have about me?"
Sara blushed again, and turned her head away but this time she felt fingers gripping her jaw, and gently turning her face to where it was before.
"None of that now. If you're thinking about me, I deserve to know exactly what your thoughts are. Don't you agree?"
Sara stared at the smug look of the doctor in front of her, and gulped. But she nodded her head up and down slowly.
Dr. Li loosened her grip on her jaw and traced her fingers down the left side of Sara's neck. She shivered at the contact but didn't pull away. She then let her fingertips glide over the girl's collarbones and then retracted her hand once again. Sara whined, suddenly not caring if anybody else could hear. Dr. Li's smug smile appeared on her face again.
"You'll only get what you want if you tell me what you're thinking. And you want this, right?"
Sara nodded again, rapidly this time. Whatever fear and apprehension she had before was gone. Only the want and desire for physical touch remained. She was so close to having all of her fantasies created in real life. She needed this to happen.
"Use your words Sara," the gentleness in her voice was all but gone and replaced with something commanding.
"Yes, I want this," she said, more confidently.
"Good," Dr. Li smiled, not that smug smile but that reassuring one she gave to all the other patients. It made Sara feel warm, good. Like what she had said pleased Dr. Li. "Go stand next to the door."
Sara looked at her confused, but Dr. Li's expression had changed into a serious one, and she just nodded her head to the door. Sara grabbed her tote bag off the table and slung it on her shoulders again, and got up from her seat, and walked over to the door. She looked over at Dr. Li, for a second, and reached for the doorknob.
"I said to stand there, not open the door."
Sara retracted her hand back as if the door knob was a giant snake about to eat her. She looked back at Dr. Li with another confused expression.
"I mean you can if you want to. You can open the door and leave. We will never speak about this again. All of our conservations will be strictly about medication management and your symptoms."
Sara stood still. She looked at the door knob, and then to Dr. Li.
"Or you could turn that lock on the door, and sit back down, and you can tell me every single thought you have about me."
Sara reached for the door knob once again, her hand hovering one inch above it. Then she grasped it, firmly. Didn't twist it, made sure her hand stayed on it firmly in place. She took a deep breath, then she took her hand off it and switched the lock closed. She twisted the door knob but only to make sure it didn't open. It didn't.
"Good girl."
She blushed again and turned back around to face Dr. Li, who was now standing out of her seat.
"Why don't you sit back down again, baby?"
Baby. Sara swore that if Dr. Li kept calling her pet names she would finish without even being touched. She set her bag down on the table again and sat in the same seat as before, this time looking up at Dr. Li who was standing in front of her.
"Tell me the thoughts you have about me, and maybe we can see if we can make those happen."
Sara bit the inside of her cheek again, this time to make sure she didn't start giggling.
"Where should I start?" she asked with a smile on her face.
"Anywhere you want to, Babygirl."
"You know, I thought about you calling me pet names," Sara admitted, not caring that her face must be glowing red now.
"Which ones?"
"All the ones you've called me. Especially good girl. But maybe even some, derogatory ones."
"And those would be? "
"Can we just focus on the praise for now?" She asked, trying to make her best puppy dog eyes.
Dr. Li looked at her softly and smiled. She ran her hand through the girl's hair and she leaned into the touch.
"We can certainly do that. You want to be a good girl for me?"
"Yes, please. It's all I've ever wanted," Sara said. She bit the inside of her cheek once again, this time to punish herself for sounded like a desperate slut.
Dr. Li chuckled. "You're so pathetic. But I like that. It's what makes you cute."
Damn. She was good at this. Sara was even more convinced she could get off just by hearing the other woman's voice.
"Take your jeans off for me."
Jumping straight to it, it seemed. But Sara wasn't complaining. She stood up and kicked her sneakers off, and then unbuttoned her jeans and pulled down the zipper. She pulled the jeans off of herself and let them pool underneath her feet. She looked up at Dr. Li who was looking down at her legs, and saw that her facial expression changed to dissatisfaction.
"You cut yourself recently?"
Sara had almost forgotten, but she had. Last night. She'd cut herself with an eyebrow razor on her upper thighs just before her shower. It was a habit she had developed about months ago. Something she couldn't seem to quit no matter how hard she tried.
"Last night. I-I'm sorry. I s-shouldn't have."
She bit her lip, feeling tears form in her eyes. She looked down, and she couldn't stop a tear from falling on the carpeted floor.
"Hey," she felt a hand lift her chin up, "It's okay."
Through her blurry vision she could see a vague picture of Dr. Li looking softly at her, and her left hand came up to cup her right cheek and wipe her tears with her thumb.
"I'm not mad at you, I'm just concerned. I thought you told Lucinda that the thoughts about harming yourself were getting better?"
"Well, they were," she said, fighting back a sob, "but then, I don't know. I kept thinking of you, and I felt so ashamed. It felt so wrong."
"Baby," she said softly, then pulled Sara in for a hug. She wrapped her arms tightly around Dr. Li and cried into her chest, surely staining the soft blue dress she was wearing.
"I don't want you hurting yourself because of me. Okay? If those thoughts come up, give me a call, and I will always answer. Promise me?"
She nodded into her chest, but Dr. Li stepped away. Sara looked up, still forming tears in her eyes.
"I need you to use your words again baby."
"I-I'll call you, instead of hurting myself," she said shyly. She wiped away her tears with her arms and looked back at Dr. Li for some sort of approval.
"Good girl. I'm proud of you, I hope you know that."
Sara smiled warmly. Dr. Li cupped her face and then wiped away the last of her tears with her thumbs before giving her a kiss on the forehead.
"Now what can I do to make you feel better?"
Sara thought for a moment. She had created a bunch of crazy fantasies in her head and dreamed about a situation like this for so long, but what she wanted in this moment right now was comfort.
"Can you just hold me?" She asked, her voice a little shaky. "This might sound silly, but I just want to sit in your lap while you hold me."
Dr. Li didn’t say anything for a moment and just smiled. Her hand reached out to pet Sara's hair.
"Of course baby, let's sit down hm?"
Dr. Li sat back down in her office chair and patted her thighs as an invitation. Sara took a deep breath and walked over to her and then straddled the doctor by putting both of her knees on either side of Dr. Li's thighs. She took a moment to admire the woman's dark brown eyes before throwing her arms around the doctor's neck and pressing her nose into the crook of her neck. The doctor's arms wrapped around the girl's back, holding her against her own body.
"You're safe with me. It's okay now."
They took a moment to sit in the silence, bodies flush against one another. It was a comforting feeling, but suddenly Sara was aware that the only thing separating their skin from making direct contact was the thin fabric of the doctor's dress and her underwear. She pushed her hands against the doctor's shoulders to separate them a bit.
"What's the matter Sara?"
"Um," she looked down at her underwear, "I'm not wearing any pants."
"Oh, you want to put them back on?"
"No-" it came out quicker than intended, and Sara could only hope Dr. Li didn't realize how desperate she was. "It's just, if I'm only in my underwear, it's only fair you are too, right?"
Dr. Li smiled and caressed the left side of Sara's face.
"I suppose you're right. You want to help me take this dress off baby?"
Sara could only nod eagerly which earned a laugh from Dr. Li. She put her hands on Sara's waist and lifted her off her lap, which she did with such ease that surprised the younger girl considering the doctor had a much skinnier frame than her. She stood up and turned around, taking her white cardigan off and throwing it haphazardly somewhere on the floor.
"Be a good girl and pull the zipper down, okay?"
With shaky hands Sara reached up to slowly pull the zipper down Dr. Li's back. Once it was unzipped, she let the dress fall off from her shoulders and stepped out of it, turning around to face Sara in just a lacy black bra and black panties. Sara could only stare wordlessly at the woman in front of her, admiring her smooth pale skin and her flat stomach.
"Why don't you take your shirt off too babygirl?"
Sara took the t-shirt she was wearing off with no hesitation throwing it somewhere on the floor.
"Anything else you want to do?"
Sara had an idea, but she looked down at the floor and bit the inside of her cheek, embarrassed to admit it.
"Closed mouths don't get fed baby," Dr. Li started, something she had said before but in an entirely different context, "If you want something you're going to have to ask."
"Um," she bit her lip before looking up to face Dr. Li again, "Can I... ride your thigh?"
"Good girl," she said with a smile, "for telling me what you want."
She went to sit back in her office chair, and Sara took her underwear off leaving her in just her bra. She straddled the doctor's right thigh by putting her knees on either side of it. She experimentally rocked her hips back and forth, grinding down on the smooth skin to feel it rub against her clit.
"Feels good baby?" Dr. Li asked, softly caressing the girl's face.
"Feels so good Dr. Li," Sara said starting to rock back and forth harder and faster, "want more please."
"Yeah, want me to touch you?"
"Yes, please," Sara said, closing her eyes now, feeling her orgasm building up and she grinded harder into the doctor's thigh.
Sara let out a moan as Dr. Li started playing with her nipples, squeezing them lightly at first but then pinching harder. She let her head fall onto the doctor's shoulder, feeling at any moment she could just shatter. Dr. Li started being rougher as she touched the girl's breasts, taking entire handfuls and just squeezing.
"Dr. Li, I'm gonna-" she panted out, rocking her hips back and forth as intensely as she could.
"This fast baby? Just from riding my thigh and me playing with your tits?"
"Dr.-" Before she could finish saying her name, she shattered, feeling all the tension in her core release as shockwaves of pressure move through her body as she continued rocking her hips slowly, Dr. Li still toying with her nipples. Once the last of it faded away, she went limp against Dr. Li's body, just wanting to be as close to her as possible. Dr. Li kissed the side of her head and wrapped her arms around the girl, holding her tightly.
"Thank you, Dr. Li," Sara said, her voice muffled into Dr. Li's shoulder.
"Of course Sara, anything for you."