Chapter Text
Pierrot often doesn’t like talking about his past, which you understand. You watched with your hand on your cheek as he cooked dinner. A smile on his face as he adjusted the heat and stirred the food around in the pot. You weren’t told much by him, but he did tell you stories of his fond childhood, the loss of his parents, and a brief story of the previous ringmaster. But he stopped the story short as his body trembled. You spent the night comforting him and rubbing his back as he snuggled into your chest.
He and everyone else have a traumatic past, whether they want to admit it or not. But for Pierrot? It runs deep. “Pierrot?”
“Yes, my dear?” he asked, his eyes not moving from the pan. “Do you mind… if I ask you to do something? Even if it makes you… uncomfortable?” you asked, hesitantly.
“My dear, there is nothing that you ask of me that would be uncomfortable. I would be happy to grant all of your wishes and deepest, darkest desires,” he spoke, turning his head with his wide smile. Okay, well, here goes nothing. “I know you don’t like talking much about your past, especially one about the circus before you met me. But I really want to know more about you, Pierrot. I really like you, and I want to accept every part of you, no matter how ugly or horrible it is.”
There’s a saying that a person’s past defines a person on the current day. However, to you, the past may not be enough to define a person's characteristics. It’s the present and how they have changed and grown from their past mistakes and trauma. There’s a lot to unravel Pierrot, but you’re willing to wait for him to open up rather than peel back the layers. Watching Pierrot closely, you can tell he was frozen stiff from your question. “You don’t have to, you know. I’ll still love you even if you have a ton of secrets or aren’t open about them. You…uh… you can forget that I said anything.”
Pierrot turned, his mouth gone and his eyes wide as he turned to face you. “My dear…” he spoke. Forgetting about the stove, he ran to hug you. “My dear, oh my love. You truly are too kind for me, for this world. I don’t deserve you, I don’t deserve this amount of love you’ve given me. Perhaps in another time, I’ll tell you everything about me. Just.. perhaps give me more time? For now, why not focus on breakfast? You must be hungry.”
Alright, fine by you. Taking a bite out of your scrambled egg made by him truly, ignoring how his eyes filled with love stared into your very soul as you ate. The two of you made your separate ways, with you to your workplace and Pierrot back to the circus. The next few days were quiet with Pierrot not coming over to your place.
Which is fine for the first three days, he needed some space. But close to the fifth day, did you start to be concerned. After a long shift from the cafe, dragging your tired body home and taking a quick shower did you find him in your bed. “Pierrot?”
“My- My dear!” he spoke, his face lovestriken as he ran over to your body. Throwing himself on his knees as he held onto your waist like a lifeline. “Oh, how I missed you, my dear. Every day was torture not seeing you.”
“You gave me quite the fright, Pierrot. I thought I might have upset you with my question.” He looked up with worry as he shook his head. “No, no, you never upset me, my dear. I… I kept myself away from you because I kept thinking about your question.”
Leaning his head against your stomach, the smell of clean linen calmed him as he hugged you. “I never doubted your love for me, but you’re aware of the rules that I must follow.”
“Even though you already broke your rule by speaking to me?” you asked, playing with his hair that he leaned into. His cheeks deepened in color. “That’s true, but I… I was fearful, my love. I don’t want to lose you, the thought of losing you hurts me so, that’s why I didn’t visit you. But I truly trust you, so please… don’t be scared of me.”
Opening your mouth to say something, Pierrot walks to your balcony door to close the curtains. He then starts to remove his clothes, folding them and setting them aside. The last thing he took off was his mask as he then shyly turned around. His face was pure black except for his yellow eyes, almost similar to Harlequin’s face that you vaguely remembered back then. Moving your eyes down, your breath hitches. His white porcelain skin, while muscular and quite lean, was riddled with scars. Some long, some short, others are jagged across his skin. “Oh, Pierrot.” It was the only thing you could say.
Just how much did he suffer at the hands of humans before meeting you? “Is… is it too much, my dear? Do you want me to put my clothes back on?”
“No, no, don’t do that. Yes, it’s a little too much but… Pierrot,” you stepped forward to place your hands to cup his face. “You’re beautiful.”
His whole body shuddered in delight as he hugged your body, and tears threatened to spill out as he pressed kisses around your face. “Oh my love, thank you. Thank you, those words mean so much to me.”
You have no idea how much it means for him to finally open that part to you, to comfort his mind. Pulling away, his hand holding yours, did you raise his hand to your lips. Pressing a tender kiss on his knuckles and looking at his hands. His fingers were inky and his fingernails long as you held on to his hand.
Looking back at his face, looking at you with so much feverish intent that he doesn’t dare to blink to miss a single moment. His silky, long strands of white hair flow down his body with three horns on his scalp. How could they harm someone so beautiful?
“Can you lie down on the bed for me, Pierrot?” you asked, watching him as he obediently got on the bed. Lying down with his head on the pillows, his breaths heavy as his fingers trembled on the sheets. Straddling his legs as you ran your fingers over his body, making him shiver from the touch. Then you leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on the scar on his shoulder.
He keened, his heart threatened to jump out of his chest. So full of love, as he whimpered from another kiss to his scar on his chest. “My dear,” he whispered. Drool slipped past his lips as you continued to press tender kisses on his scars.
Whining from the loss of your lips, he went quiet as you cupped his face with so much tenderness that it made his heart melt. “You’ve been through so much pain before meeting me, haven’t you, Pierrot? While I can’t erase the pain or the scars away, what I can do is replace the pain with me. Every time you look in the mirror and look at these scars, think of me.”
Remember my lips engraved into your body, kissing the scars, kissing every part of your body. Accepting every part of you without fear. Shivering from the thought, he nodded his head. Silently begging for your lips to be back on his body, to mark him, he’ll gladly offer his body to you in submission. Moaning softly as you kissed him, his tongue working its way to your mouth. Drowning himself with your taste until you pulled away. His cries go silently, but a whimpering mess as you trailed your mouth from his neck to the rest of his body. As you kissed the scars, you whispered words of praise to him, worshipping his body.
Ah, it was too much. Too much for his heart and mind to handle, but he wants more. He can never have enough of your love for him. Tears start to spill as he cries, oh how he doesn’t deserve you. Some days, he fears that it would all be a dream. He would be back in the horrendous cage, back in the tent all alone before ever seeing you again. Kissing the scar that was dangerously close to his boxers, making him gasp. You crawled up to wipe his tears, kissing his cheek. The salty tears on your lips as you grabbed his hand. Bringing his knuckles to your lips and kissing them. Making him melt onto the bed as he clung to your waist, sobbing. Sobbing from the love and gentleness that you gave him.
All the pain he went through to experience the heaven in front of him was all worth it. He doesn’t wish for the moment to stop, he wants to keep lapping up the love. Poisoned or not. Saying nothing, but rubbing his head on the crook of your neck as you lie on top of him. Avoiding his horns as you held onto him, his cries went quiet as his body relaxed against your body. “Shhh, it’s ok. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere,” you assured him. Your warm breath against his skin made him shiver as he thanked you with relentless fever. Pecking a quick kiss on his lips was enough for him to go quiet.
Lying down next to him, Pierrot reaches out for you with puppy eyes. Silently asking for cuddles, which you fulfill. Sighing in delight, he rubbed his head on your neck. Breathing in your scent and licking the pulse point until he fell asleep. You were happy that he opened and showed his true body to you. A final kiss on his forehead, did you whisper ‘good night’ to him.
Thankfully, tomorrow is your day off, which leaves you to pamper him just like he has with you. Wrapping your arms around his body, you snuggle close to him and fall asleep.