Chapter Text
“Are you absolutely sure, cariad?” Hunith asked worriedly, cupping her son’s face with one hand. “Why not take Will with you? I know you like to be independent, but as an alpha, Will could offer protection-”
Merlin smiled, slightly exasperated. “For the hundredth time, Mum, I’ll be fine. You know I can protect myself with my magic if it comes down to it. And it won’t, because the suppressants work! Even you said I smell like a beta right now. I don’t need Will, and he needs to stay here. His cow is sick.”
Hunith sighed, and pulled him into a tight hug. “Stay safe, Merlin. Come off the suppressants as soon as you’re in Camelot, and don’t forget to visit me before too long, okay?”
And with that, 10 minutes later, Merlin was on the road to meet Gaius for the first time.
Merlin was still reeling from seeing one of his own kind brutally executed when he entered the physician’s chambers. He’d known, of course, that sorcery was illegal on pain of death here, but seeing it in person - well. Merlin was sure he’d be having nightmares for a while yet.
“Hello? Gaius?” Merlin cleared his throat, looking around for the older man, trying to push the horrifying image of the axe falling out of his mind. He looked up on hearing a sound, and saw someone with white hair - who must be Gaius - falling from such a height that likely meant he would be severely and perhaps permanently injured if he landed on the floor, if not dead by a broken neck. Merlin didn’t have time to consciously think it through, to consider that he really shouldn’t use magic considering the ruthless execution he’d just seen. He acted purely on instinct, slowing time down just enough to move a mattress underneath the older man to soften his fall.
“What did you just do?” Gaius asked once he’d gotten up, looking incredulous. Merlin swallowed. They then faltered through Merlin’s useless denials and stammering explanations. Just as Gaius confirmed he’d keep his secret, and thanked him for saving his life besides, Merlin remembered that Gaius didn’t even know he was an omega.
“I forgot to mention, Gaius, because I was taking the journey to Camelot alone, I’m currently on suppressants - I’m actually an omega. I’ll come off them now, obviously, they should be out of my system in a couple of days. I don’t suppose you know of any alphas I’d be safe to drop with? I’d prefer to find one myself that I naturally get along with, but knowing a couple back-up options would be good.” Merlin said in a rush.
Gaius frowned at him, considering. Drops were very intimate things, and having a trustworthy alpha to protect the omega was absolutely essential. During an omegan drop, the omega was almost lost to their instincts - they relied on the alpha taking care of them completely, often even forgetting everyone’s name but their own, and weren’t aware of much outside of their current situation. Omegas wouldn’t talk when in drop either, and emotionally relied on an alpha for comfort. Even if the drop usually only lasted a couple hours tops, a trustworthy alpha was non-negotiable considering the omega’s vulnerable state. Drops were unfortunately important to have at least once a month for an omega’s physical and mental health, or many omegas would go without them despite them being wonderful things when done right.
“I will let you know.” Gaius said after a moment. “I do… trust one of the knights of Camelot, Sir Leon, quite a lot. However, considering you have magic, and Sir Leon is a knight of the king, that is likely not the best idea. I will check with a few alpha lads I know in the lower town, they may be more suitable.”
Merlin nodded, and soon was off delivering medicine.
Merlin was crossing the drawbridge gate after dropping off his last vial of medicine from Gaius when he saw what must be an alpha knight, surrounded by his ‘friends’ (more like followers, Merlin thought), all cheering him on as he bullied a poor servant. What an absolute dick! Merlin was an omega, sure, but he’d always been a strong believer in doing and sticking up for what was right, even if he had to stand up to annoyingly arrogant alphas. Merlin always refused to back down, and he would refuse here, even if this alpha was what seemed like an important knight.
“Hey, come on, that’s enough.” Merlin said firmly, foot planted on the target that had rolled over to him so that the serving boy didn’t attempt to pick it up again.
“What?” The alpha knight said, looking outright confused that someone was standing up to him. God, how conceited was this guy? Merlin admitted to himself, although he would never say it out loud to this prat, that he was quite handsome. If he hadn’t been throwing daggers at someone like he was, Merlin might have even looked at him twice. But the alpha had nothing going for him personality wise, if he bullied servants like this for a laugh.
“You’ve had your fun, my friend.” Merlin said. It was always best to be confident with alphas - show weakness, act like an ‘omega’ (Merlin really resented it when people used that phrase), and they wouldn’t take you seriously at all.
Unfortunately, the alpha turned out to be even more of a dick than Merlin had initially thought, and after a few more words were exchanged, Merlin gave up on resolving the tension between them and began to walk away - only after satisfyingly calling the knight an ass, of course. But all of a sudden the prick asked if Merlin knew how to walk on his knees. Merlin had to suppress the shiver that wanted to wrack through his body at that. But he couldn’t suppress the unwanted warmth drifting to his nether regions. Stupid instincts. This guy wasn’t worth his time. Why did he have to have a voice like velvet, and look the way he did? Merlin urgently covered up his embarrassing reaction by pretending to be angrier than he actually was, and he somehow ended up throwing a punch at the knight, which he knew was a terrible idea, but Merin had never been known for making smart decisions.
The moment the prat restrained him, Merlin got his first proper whiff of the alpha’s scent. It smelled like sandalwood, metal, strength and protection, and was by far the most alluring scent he had ever come across. Merlin almost whined. This was so unfair! Why did this guy have to be a dick? For a moment, Merlin desperately thought maybe they could make it work, maybe the alpha was having a bad day or something, maybe he wasn’t always this terrible - he knew Gaius was right in that he shouldn’t drop with a knight at all, even if he was great like Sir Leon supposedly was - but this alpha smelled so good he was severely tempted to disregard that. But then-
“What, who do you think you are? The King?” Merlin asked incredulously when the alpha said he would throw him in jail - how cocky was this guy? His hopes of making it work were crumbling by the second.
“No, I’m his son. Arthur.”
Of fucking course. Because of course the best alpha Merlin had ever smelled would not only be a total prat, but would throw him on the pyre himself if he knew Merlin had magic, omega or not.
Merlin briefly wondered, as he was led away by the guards, how much the story of his life would sell for. Tragedies sold well, he’d heard.
Merlin woke up to a strange voice calling to him in his cell. It seemed to be coming from beneath the ground. Before he could consider if he was going mad, Gaius appeared, stepping into the cell.
“You never cease to amaze me! The one thing that someone like you should do is keep your head down, and what do you do? You behave like an idiot.”
Merlin shuffled awkwardly. He couldn’t help it - that alpha - the prince apparently, fuck - just brought something out of him. It was decidedly not good.
“Whoops?” He eventually said, looking up at Gaius with his best puppy-dog eyes. Gaius didn’t look impressed.
“The prince, Arthur… he’s an alpha.” Merlin said in explanation, although his face felt slightly like it was on fire. He’d always prided himself on being contrary and not giving into alphas. Although he hadn’t exactly given into Arthur, the alpha had definitely affected him.
“Merlin!” Gaius admonished him. “Even if the prince were safe to drop with, he's not, considering your… abilities… the prince is off limits! He hasn’t ever looked after an omega in drop, and his first choice to finally do so won’t be with a peasant!”
Merlin huffed, annoyed. “What’s so wrong with peasants? We’re just as good as nobles.”
Gaius raised an eyebrow. Merlin swallowed. It made him feel very small.
“Yes. We know that. But nobles consort with nobles. That’s what’s done. Better forget about him, my boy. Don’t go seeking him out again. There are some nice alphas in the lower town I spoke to yesterday evening who don’t have an omega to look after yet. I’ll introduce you to them when your scent has started emitting again.” Gaius said firmly.
Sighing, Merlin nodded. He didn’t even like Arthur. There was no need to be hung up about him.
“Ah, by the way, I only managed to get you released on a condition. You’re going to spend some time in the stocks, I’m afraid.” Gaius confessed, although he didn’t seem guilty in the slightest.
Merlin frowned.
And so he spent the next few hours getting fruit pelted at him mainly by children. The upside was that he met a lovely beta named Guinevere, or Gwen as she liked to be called. At least he would have one friend now. He only realised once she’d left that he’d forgotten to mention he was an omega. Oh well, she’d know soon enough.
When Merlin was finally released, he walked across to the lower town to get some food for dinner as requested by Gaius. He saw the prat-prince with his… friend-followers, and was tempted to engage the alpha like one is tempted to poke at a bruise. It would only end badly, Merlin told himself firmly, and refused to look at the prince and his posse as he passed them. Arthur, apparently, had other ideas.
“How’s your knee-walking coming along?” He heard the alpha call after him. Merlin desperately wanted to stop. He wanted to stop to show the alpha he wasn’t afraid of him even though he was the prince, that he wouldn’t give in like the others who fell at his feet - and at the same time, he desperately wanted to get a whiff of that delicious scent again. Both of these were not good reasons, especially the second one, which unfortunately happened to be the main one in Merlin’s mind for some unfathomable reason. So Merlin kept walking. But then the prat called out again.
“Aw, don’t run away!”
Merlin stopped. He couldn’t take Arthur thinking he was some weak ‘omega’ (even though Arthur would surely think he was a beta) who was afraid of him. “From you?”
That line somehow evolved into them mocking each other further, and then all of a sudden Arthur was attacking him with a mace, which- okay. Merlin could admit he was a bit out of his depth. And he shouldn’t, he really shouldn’t, but for some reason Arthur specifically thinking of him as weak just wasn’t sitting right with him. So he used his magic to help him win the fight while the prince was looking right at him. Merlin was just thankful the prat was too focused on winning the fight to notice the fact that he was using magic right under his nose. Seeing Gaius in the crowd was Merlin’s downfall. He froze in embarrassment when he saw him, and then all of a sudden he was knocked to the ground with a broom.
Great. Back to the dungeons it was.
“Wait. Let him go. He may be an idiot, but he’s a brave one. There’s something about you, Merlin. I can’t quite put my finger on it.”
Merlin stared at Arthur, his heart traitorously starting to beat faster in his chest. Something about you, Arthur had said.
No. Merlin wouldn’t go there. Arthur would never be safe to drop with. And he was still a royal prat, even if he was maybe less of one than Merlin had thought. There was no point thinking further on it. He’d probably only see the prince in passing from now on anyway.
The voice that had called to him from the cells turned out to be a cryptic dragon, who told Merlin that Arthur was his destiny. Merlin wanted to bang his head against the wall until he passed out.
Now listen, he wanted to say to the dragon. You saying these sorts of things is really not helpful.
He told the dragon Arthur was an idiot instead. The dragon unfortunately didn’t change his mind about Arthur being his destiny.
The wall was looking more inviting by the second.
The sorceress was throwing a dagger right at the prince, and really, what was Merlin supposed to do? Leave him to die? Even if he was a prat, he didn’t deserve death.
So Merlin instinctively slowed down time, and pulled Arthur out of harm's way. His first thought should have been annoyance, this ‘saving Arthur’ thing being the first sign that the destiny the annoying dragon mentioned unfortunately wasn’t nonsense, but Merlin’s thoughts were filled to the brim with Arthur’s scent and how lovely it was. It took a moment for him to even realise that the King was speaking to him.
“-debt must be repaid.”
“Oh, well.” Merlin said, trying to gather his bearings and remember that Arthur was a complete prat, even if he smelled good. And was apparently his destiny.
“Don’t be so modest. You shall be rewarded.” Uther frowned, clearly thinking of what to do with him. Merlin needed the king’s attention off him as soon as possible. Uther needed to forget Merlin even existed if Merlin wanted to live here without fear - well, without too much fear. He was always going to be afraid in Camelot.
“No, honestly, you don’t have to, Your Highness.” Merlin said desperately, even starting to forget that the prince was standing beside him in his want to escape the king’s attention.
“No, absolutely. This merits something quite special.” Uther insisted. Great. Just Merlin’s luck. It would be better to give in - hopefully that would get him out of here sooner.
“Well…” Merlin said, heart in his throat. Maybe he’d get some money and he could send some back to his mum. She deserved it.
“You shall be rewarded a position in the royal household. You shall be Prince Arthur’s manservant.” Uther decided, looking delighted at his own genius.
Merlin closed his eyes in despair as Arthur started to protest to his father.
Great. Just great.
It was decidedly even worse than Merlin had thought.
Apparently omegas weren’t allowed to serve as Arthur’s manservant. It was a rule Uther had put in place when the prince presented as an alpha years ago.
“Why not?!” Merlin argued, even as he felt hopelessness start to take root in his heart.
“Uther worries that any omega servant close to his son would try and seduce Arthur. He says the rule is so Arthur has free choice, as he can’t exactly say he would force him to marry a noble - it has always been from oldest times that alphas are allowed to choose whichever omega they wish, with the omegas consent of course - but the king does wish to push any peasant omegas far away, and throw noble ones at Arthur instead, in the hope Arthur will make the ‘correct’ decision.” Gaius explained with a sigh, putting away the potions ingredients from the day.
Merlin bit his lip, looking away as shame coursed through him. He wasn’t planning on seducing Arthur, of course, the prince was a prat, and would kill him for his magic besides, but he couldn’t deny he’d thought about it. He hated that Uther wasn’t totally in the wrong.
Merlin had initially been annoyed at the position when Uther had given it, for three reasons.
- Being Arthur’s manservant would put him under far too much scrutiny. He was supposed to keep his head down, as Gaius had said, and this position was definitely not doing that. He could be found out for his magic at any moment, and his own master would light the pyre.
- Arthur was a bullying, arrogant alpha prat. He might not have given Merlin to the guards after their fight in the marketplace, but he still obviously had an ego the size of the Albion, and was used to getting his way. He wouldn’t be easy to be around or work for. Merlin didn’t like him.
- Who was Uther to just up and change Merlin’s life anyway? What if he didn’t want to be Arthur’s servant? What if he was happy just being Gaius’ apprentice?
Despite this, Merlin had seen the good sides after a moment to think. Despite the dragon being ridiculously cryptic, Merlin could admit there seemed to be something to this whole destiny thing. He liked having a purpose. And although Arthur was a prat, and he couldn’t really see him ‘uniting Albion’ anytime soon, Merlin wanted to see how it would turn out. If Arthur could be someone good, and if Merlin really would help him on his way. And… he had to admit to himself that being around that inviting scent all the time was the opposite of a turn-off. He was curious about Arthur as an alpha, even though he knew it could never go anywhere. He had thought that perhaps being his manservant would end up being a good thing - give him an excuse to be near him to protect him, and perhaps satisfy his curiosity along the way.
But if omegas weren’t allowed, what could Merlin do?
“I’ll have to explain to the King, refuse the position.” Merlin said, defeated.
“You can’t do that.” Gaius’ voice was hard. Merlin looked up at him in confusion. “Uther will take it that you had done this on purpose to get close to Arthur before the guilt overcame you. He might even think that you consorted with the sorceress. No. It is too dangerous. You will simply have to leave Camelot.”
Merlin stared in horror, eyes wide. “Gaius, I - I can’t leave, I just got here! You saw the letter my mum sent, things won’t be safe for me at home for much longer! And I can’t go anywhere else, I don’t know anyone! Where would I go?”
Gaius tapped his fingers on the table. “Gawant, perhaps. Lord Godwyn is a decent sort, much less ruthless than Uther. I can write you a letter of recommendation. Even if you have barely begun your studies, it is better than nothing.”
Merlin shook his head, tears in his eyes. How had it come to this? “I can’t, Gaius. I just - I just found a purpose for my magic, found you to help me control it! My destiny is here! What about Arthur? The dragon implied he’d die if I wasn’t here to protect him!”
Gaius frowned, looking unsure for the first time since they’d come back to his chambers. “What else do you suggest, Merlin?”
Merlin clenched his hands into fists. He hated what he was about to suggest. He’d never wanted to be ashamed of who he was, but… “No one here knows I’m an omega apart from you. I’ll stay on suppressants. No one has to know. I can stay as Arthur’s servant and protect him.”
Gaius looked mournfully at him. “Merlin… that’s no life. Hiding your secondary gender is no easy task. Who would you drop with if no one could know? I’m not an alpha myself, as you know.”
Merlin set his jaw. He knew it would be horrible. But he’d always been a contrary omega, and the thought of leaving Camelot was far worse. He wouldn’t let Arthur die, even if the alpha was a conceited prat. And… something - something just felt right about staying. “I’ve got almost a month until I need to drop again. I’ll find someone trustworthy, Gaius. One other person who can know. I know it’s not ideal, but it’s better than leaving.”
Gaius sighed, and Merlin knew he had won.
Merlin only hoped the supposed Once and Future King would be worth it.