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it's a wonderfool life

Summary:

‘Hey, Mr. Oddball!’ One Lee Un-jeong was already immune to Haesong’s Royal Nightmare so he didn’t even glance up while continuing his passive-aggressive stapling. ‘Aish, youngsters these days. You should really look up when your elders are talking to you. Anyway, about Lady Trainwreck,’ A subtle tick of the jaw, ah finally a reaction from this stone-cold fox thought Gyeong-hun grimly, ‘What, did you get into a fight? You stab her again? She stab you again? You strangled her? She slapped you again? Or you tried to kill her again?’

‘You clearly lack experience. Nothing like me with my long and happy years with my dear Ms. Moon Mi-hui. In these situations, just grovel first. What’s the harm? Lady Trainwreck has always been soft when it comes to you anyway.’

Ro-bin wondered if he should point out to Mr. Son that those ticks were getting more and more severe. For someone so ‘empathic’, he wondered how he could be so oblivious to all the horrified looks everyone was giving Master. Maybe they were wondering if there was an abusive relationship going on.

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‘What, did Mr. Oddball wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning? Maybe on the ceiling?’

‘What do you mean, Ahjussi?’ Ro-bin didn’t notice anything amiss. Their Master looked as calm and collected as always, stapling some documents together.

‘Aish, and this is why your skills in observation don’t even come close to mine. If only you could be as empathic as me.’ Maybe it was just as well that Mr. Son wasn’t carrying anything at the moment. ‘I didn’t think there was a way to aggressively staple something together. He keeps going like that and he’ll punch a hole into his desk.’

Much as he didn’t want to admit it, Ro-bin could see that Mr. Son had a point, that the serene façade seemed to be hiding some underlying frustration if Master’s furrowing brows were anything to go by.

‘And haven’t you noticed another thing obviously missing? Where on earth is Lady Trainwreck?’

It was a valid question. Their very own whirlwind personified could be anywhere from the north pole to the south pole.

‘If you’re looking for Chae-ni, she’s just wiping down windows outside.’

‘And doesn’t that strike you as odd? Normally when it comes to Mr. Oddball over there, she’s stickier than my own flypaper hands. Not that he’s any better pretending to be all annoyed when clearly he enjoys it.’

Neither of them were cruel enough (not even Mr. Son) to point out the obvious anxiety their more experienced team member still had when it came to their most chaotic member ever since she returned after three weeks of AWOL. While Lady Trainwreck as fitting her moniker was as subtle as a car crash, both of them pretended at ignorance whenever Mr. Oddball assigned her tasks near him or where she could always be in his line of sight. Maybe he was just that worried she’d suddenly disappear without him knowing and was deathly afraid of the possibility.

While Ro-bin was the Sappiest Sap, he thought Mr. Son was being sappy himself acting like a busybody when really he was just worried. Well, it was already in Mr. Son’s nature to be a busybody anyway.

‘Hey, Mr. Oddball!’ One Lee Un-jeong was already immune to Haesong’s Royal Nightmare so he didn’t even glance up while continuing his passive-aggressive stapling. ‘Aish, youngsters these days. You should really look up when your elders are talking to you. Anyway, about Lady Trainwreck,’ A subtle tick of the jaw, ah finally a reaction from this stone-cold fox thought Gyeong-hun grimly, ‘What, did you get into a fight? You stab her again? She stab you again? You strangled her? She slapped you again? Or you tried to kill her again?’

‘You clearly lack experience. Nothing like me with my long and happy years with my dear Ms. Moon Mi-hui. In these situations, just grovel first. What’s the harm? Lady Trainwreck has always been soft when it comes to you anyway.’

Ro-bin wondered if he should point out to Mr. Son that those ticks were getting more and more severe. For someone so ‘empathic’, he wondered how he could be so oblivious to all the horrified looks everyone was giving Master. Maybe they were wondering if there was an abusive relationship going on.

The impasse was broken by Mr. Yang and Ms. Kim. All the better for it, thought Ro-bin. Master looked seconds away from launching a power blast at Ahjussi, secrecy be damned.

Both civil servants rushed at him, while shaking him in the process.

‘Mr. Lee! Blink twice if you’re being held hostage or being blackmailed! You don’t have to be such an excellent troubleshooter that you have to be Stockholm-syndromed into a relationship, you know that right?!’

Ro-bin pouted. Maybe it was all the better for it too that Chae-ni wasn’t here right now. If she heard all of that, hell would probably break lose.

As rude as Mr. Yang was being, at least he was still semi-coherent. Ms.Kim looked to be in near tears. ‘Poor Mr. Lee!’

Even someone who faced cults, child experimentation, and a mad scientist probably had his limits. Shaking off everyone clinging to him and fighting to be heard over the cacophony, Master looked resolute as he raised his voice. ‘This is all just a simple misunderstanding, Mr. Yang.’

Mr. Yang for some reason look relieved. ‘But of course it is. As if someone as efficient as you could be in a relationship with a human disaster.’

An eerie silence seemed to pass over them all, enough to unnerve Mr. Yang. Even Ms. Kim held back her tears, while Gyeong-hun and Ro-bin gulped.

Especially when a lightbulb short-circuited and exploded all of a sudden.

Nervously, Mr. Yang loosened his tie as he tried to make sense of things, ‘Darn it. We better look into getting some new bulbs. Ours seem to be defective.’

A whisper cut through the awkward silence. ‘You’re wrong.’

‘What was that, Mr. Lee?’

‘Mr. Yang, you’re wrong. Eun Chae-ni shi is my…She’s my…’

Everyone seemed to be perversely interested in what Master was struggling to say. Maybe he would have eventually succeeded, but no one would ever know since at that precise moment all the lightbulbs shattered plunging City Hall into a blackout.

Then and there as Mr. Son and Ro-bin looked at each other and came to an understanding, as one they bodily dragged off Master off his chair by his arms. They may not be able to teleport like Chae-ni, but they were still experts in making a strategic retreat.

‘Well, Mr. Yang seeing as it’s already the end of office hours, it would be irresponsible of us if we didn’t let our Team Leader relax and destress. We’ll be having our after-work dinner now.’

‘But..!’

‘See you all tomorrow!’

Ms. Kim could only watch forlorn as they all but dragged Mr. Lee out of the building. ‘I wanted to have a team dinner with him.’ Mr. Yang only put a commiserating hand on her shoulder.

-

This was quite fascinating. Ro-bin had never seen Master drunk before. Tie loose and askew, glasses thrown away somewhere, and hair slightly disheveled, he looked more like the superhero who busted into a secret lab to save their friend rather than the meek civil servant he presented himself as.

Ro-bin wanted to ask what was wrong but was a bit afraid to broach the topic. Looks like there was no need to worry, however.

‘Eun Chae-ni shi is avoiding me,’ Master said bluntly.

Call him a sap if you wanted, but Ro-bin’s heart went out for their stern but awkward friend. Frankly, he looked miserable.

In this small pocha, he didn’t look untouchable. He simply looked like a friend in need of advice.

Mr. Son with all the delicacy of an elephant burped then took another swig of his drink, before saying, ‘Seriously though, are you sure? I mean like really sure? Mr. Yang wasn’t entirely wrong you know. Are you sure you haven’t been bamboozled or anything? To add insult to injury, Mr. Son even gestured for the universal sign of ‘Are you crazy?!’

In reply, Lee Un-jeong just flipped his beer glass all over his hand with his power. Was it petty? Sure, but he thought he could be forgiven for exercising even that much patience.

‘Alright, alright, I get it. You’re crazy about her, or just plain crazy. Why on earth though?!’

‘She makes me laugh.’

‘So do clowns, but no one’s really rushing to enter into a relationship with them, are they?’

Un-jeong glared at the older man and looked about ready to overturn the entire table, food and all on Mr. Son’s head.

How was he supposed to explain that since he’d escaped when he was young it felt like he had forgotten to laugh, or even to smile. But that she had made it so easy, and that had practically saved him. That he knew she was like the wind and the rain, and that maybe it was impossible to grasp her. That whenever she left, it felt like reopening old wounds of abandonment that he’d always pretended he never had. That he had to live with the constant fear in his chest that maybe one day he’d fail to look up and to catch her and save her. She could resurrect, but she wasn’t immortal. A darker part of him wanted to just keep her in place with his powers, but he never entertained it seriously because he knew she’d hate it.

He didn’t have the words, but as he looked at Mr. Ro-bin’s understanding face and Mr. Son’s begrudging scowl, maybe he didn’t have to have them in the company of fellow misfits.

‘So what’s the problem then,’ grumbled Mr. Son, while Mr. Ro-bin nodded beside him.

It was hard for Un-jeong to articulate all his confusing feelings. Part of him missed the before where there was no need to undergo such turmoil because he had played it safe and never risked his heart. But that would mean not having Eun Chae-ni shi and he could no longer imagine living in a world like that.

‘She said she liked me, but she seems content to keep things the way they are. When other people make comments like what Mr. Yang was saying, she doesn’t even deny them. Maybe she’s finally gotten tired of me.’ Master sighed deeply like the weight of gravity was on him, and seeing as he had already experienced the feeling firsthand, maybe this predicament did seem like it.

Ro-bin worried. Chae-ni was a firecracker who always knew what she wanted. It did seem strange that she wouldn’t fight for this. However, his musings were suddenly interrupted by a loud slam.

‘Ahjussi?’

‘Hey, Mr. Oddball. I may be a pathetic husband and father, but a pathetic man is still a man. But with the rate you’re going, you seem even more pathetic to me.’ To their amazement, Mr. Son easily detached his hand from his glass. ‘Don’t you know about DTR?’

‘D..T…R?’ Poor Master, it looked like he was trying to understand an alien language.

‘Defining the Relationship, you imbecile! I may not think much of Eun Chae-ni, but she’s made it clear what she wants. Can’t you at least be as brave as her and meet her head on?’

A fire seemed to be lit in their Master’s eyes at those words. Huh, who knew it would be Ahjussi’s words which would save the day? Maybe the two of them would be just fine.

-

‘Mr. Lee?’

‘Yes, Mr. Yang?’

‘I’m sorry to ask this, but could you please stop repeating ‘I like you, I like you’ in front of the mirror?’

‘….’

‘It’s making Ms. Kim incapable of working. She just keeps doodling ‘Lee and Kim’ on official documents.’

At that exact moment, they both heard someone giggling deliriously.

‘I understand. I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.’

‘Thank you.’

-

When the moment of truth finally comes, it is through a brilliant display of teamwork. A sheer combination of fearlessness and pure gumption. In others words, Ro-bin pinning Chae-ni in place before she could disappear, while Mr. Son stuck her still.

‘Chae-ni ah, please forgive me. You know I really love you because I’m willing to get slapped repeatedly just so I can do this for you.’

‘And I worry that an adorable couple such as yourselves will miss out on the happy ending you deserve,’ Gyeong-hun practically forced himself to spit such disgusting words out without puking.

‘I can’t hear your shouting anyway, you harpy, I mean beautiful young lady, so don’t waste your breath.’ He had worn earplugs to save these two idiots some sort of dignity, not that they had much of any, nice guy that he was. ‘Now are you going to be mature and promise not to disappear so you can hear out Mr. Oddball over here?’

Master looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him up. Although the roof had less people than the crowded City Hall building, the few people that were there were blatantly staring at the strange display of what seemed to be three men trapping a young woman against her will. Now if it were an ordinary woman, perhaps they might have been worried. Seeing as this was the infamous Lady Trainwreck however, assured them she could hold her own.

Gyeong-hun couldn’t hear her but knew this nightmare girl well enough to tell that she was shouting expletives at him. Well, time to play dirty. ‘I knew you were a disaster of a human being, but I never thought Eun Chae-ni was a coward.’

His hands and her feet unstick the same moment Chae-ni goes quiet. With that stubborn scowl, Gyeong-hun knew she wouldn’t run away now.

Patting them both condescendingly on the shoulder, he says truthfully, ‘You’re both weirdos who deserve nothing less than each other. Stop being idiots.’

Ro-bin gives them both a big bear hug before hurrying after Ahjussi.

While Lee Un-jeong hated any kind of attention on himself, a large part of him actually wanted to call those two back. It was nerve-wracking facing Eun Chae-ni shi after all this time, while all the words he’d been practicing got stuck in his throat. Another part was tempted to keep her in place with his powers, still scared that she might disappear again.

Meanwhile, the girl he adored looked like she could gain another superpower as she tried to shoot lasers at him with her eyes alone.

But his friends were right. He stood under a hail of bullets, he’d been stabbed, he’d had his mind broken, but all those experiences paled in comparison to hurting the woman in front of him, especially when he’d nearly lost her already. He’d once said to her that it was up to each person to decide for themselves, to decide who they wanted to protect. He’d decided long ago that that person for him was her.

With all the honesty he could muster, despite having a severe lack of practice, with all his heart he declares, ‘Eun Chae-ni shi, I love you.’

Hell. He hadn’t meant to say that, did he? Even if that was how he felt he worried that it might have been too much.

The more she just stared with that scowl on her face made him even more certain that he’d just made a grave mistake. He almost wishes she’d just hit him already.

As they say, be careful what you wish for.

She practically pounds on his chest as she berates him. ‘That! That! Why are you still saying that? Why am I still Eun Chae-ni shi?’

Even amidst his confusion, a feeling of relief washes through, ‘Wait, so you were just mad about that?’

‘Just?!’ She shrieks. ‘Here I was worrying so much about it.’

‘No, no, I mean,’ he laughs, not being able to help it, ‘You weren’t mad I didn’t say I like you yet?’

Now it was Chae-ni’s turn to be confused. ‘Why would I be mad about that? I don’t need to hear your words to know how you feel. You tell me every time you get wet in the rain just so I don’t.’

Before, he didn’t think there would ever come a time he would feel this much joy in a single moment. He draws her in and hugs her tight. He didn’t need to use his powers to keep her with him. ‘You first,’ he whispers.

In a daze after just realizing that her Master had actually said I love you instead of ‘just’ an I like you, it takes a while for Chae-ni to respond so eloquently with a, ‘Huh, what?’

Un-jeong snickers, ‘Stop calling me Master first, then I’ll stop calling you Eun Chae-ni shi. Call?’

At the flabbergasted fish-eyed look on her face, he decided that he simply couldn’t help himself. Cradling her cheeks tenderly, he kisses her there and then on the roof where he’d waited day after day for her, kissed her like she was a prayer answered, kissed her like she was home, recklessly, without caring who else saw.

They could be in their very own telekinetic bubble, impervious to all the shouts and crying around them.

‘There, there, Ms. Kim. If there’s anything to be learned from this, it’s that you can eventually annoy anyone into anything if you’re persistent enough for it.’

Upon separating, he could only beam as she whispers in wonder, ‘Choi Un-jeong…’

He laughs. ‘It’s Lee Un-jeong, Chae-ni ah.’

Elsewhere, separate but still close enough to spy, their two friends were as happy as could be for them.

Just that.

‘Must they always kiss in such awkward places? Youngsters these days really have no shame.’

As much of a sappy romantic Ro-bin was, he had to admit Mr. Son had a point. Still, he couldn’t help but shed a tear.