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Today's adventure had been…. a lot to say the least. Caine had decided to try his hand at making another horror based adventure. Which to no ones surprise said adventure did not end well, especially for Pomni who looked horrified after the adventure. Her eyes had been reduce to scribbles as they made their way over to Pomni's room.The two of them had came into the habit of hanging out together after adventures. It felt nice to be in the soft quietness of each other after the overwhelming adventures. It was something Ragatha looked forward to daily.
Due to the adventure, Pomni was exhausted.Her eyes half lidded like she wasn't entirely awake. As soon as Pomni hit the bed she fell into a sleepy trance, bordering on awake and sleep. Ragatha felt herself laugh slightly at the sight of Pomni who was laying in an awkward position on top of her belly. Her right arm curled underneath her abdomen, and her left leg tucked under herself.
"That can't be comfortable," she said shaking Pomni's shoulder softly. Her own voice quiet to not disturb Pomni who groaned sleepily in response. " C'mon, let's get you comfortable, honey."
Pomni shifted herself into a more comfortable position, allow Ragatha to pull a blanket over her form. Ragatha crawled under the blanket next to Pomni, the body heat felt good.
Ragatha opened a book Caine had conjured for her, beginning to scan the pages in a half awake trance. The only light source was the glass lamp on her side as the main ceiling light was off.Ragatha felt her self strain closer to the golden light the lamp emitted to make out the words on the page.
The feeling of rubber met Ragatha's fabric skin. Pomni let out a sleepy grunt, burying her face into Ragatha's side. The warmth of her girlfriend's skin felt great against Ragatha's own. In response Ragatha gently rubbed Pomni's head with her hand not being used to flip pages.
"You look exhausted, sweetie. You had a long day. Get some sleep," Her voice low and quiet. Pomni looked up at Ragatha with a sleepy smile, exhaustion lining her face. She wrapped herself around Ragatha, seeking comfort. Ragatha couldn't resist the way the jester held her and her own sleepiness was getting the better of her.
She leaned forward softly placing a kiss on Pomni's forehead, then went to turn off the lamp next to her.Unfortunately, her body did not cooperate with her. Her hand hit the cool glass at an awkward angle. The lamp swayed for a second as if trying to decide wether to stay up or not, before it leaned to the ground and fell.
CRASH!
The smash was loud. Pomni's head popped up immediately at the sound, now wide awake. Time seemed to slow. Ragatha's body tensed, waiting for the yelling to start. She decided it was better to apologize now, to hopefully avoid as big of an outburst.
Ragatha squirmed out of Pomni's grasp and to her feet. "I'm so sorry, Pomni. I'll clean it up. I'm so sorry," she practically rushed out, panic laced her voice, her body felt stiff. She began to desperately look for a way to clean it in the room.Her breathing was ragged, and fast.
"Ragatha,"
"I'm cleaning it up! It's okay, its just a lamp!" Ragatha seemed more talking to herself, trying in a desperate attempt to convince herself it was okay.
"Ragatha."
" I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm soo sorry! " Ragatha turned on the overhead light. Pomni's face contoured into something as she saw Ragatha's face. An emotion she wasn't familiar with and that just scared her worse. She was horrified of what Pomni would do.
"Ragatha." Pomni said louder this time, she had begin to crawl out of bed and make her way over to her girlfriend. Gently, and slowly her hand wrapped around Ragatha's forearm. The touch felt like knives hovering above her skin. When would the knife decide to cut her? How long was it until Pomni started to yell at her? When she started to berate her?! Tell her she hates her?! Till she hits her? The thoughts where scary. Overpowering. They sent a shiver down Ragatha's spine. But they where true. Pomni was probably mere seconds away from slapping her, like what Mama would have done. She could remember the dark purple bruise it would leave staining onto her skin. The thought made her chest constrict, refusing to draw in any air.
She was trapped, she couldn't run, or plead. Her mind came up with one solution though,"Fight, Ragatha."
Instinct seemed to force her body into movement. She snapped her arm away, pulling it tight to her chest it felt like it was shaking. When had she started shaking? Her throat opened to screech, her voice raw and cracking, "GET AWAY FROM ME!" Ragatha wasn't even aware her voice could become so horrific. It sounded like Mother's. It sounded exactly like hers. The thought made her want to vomit.
Her girlfriend's reaction was almost instant. She backed up against the bed, breath stuttering slightly, eyes wide and…afraid. It was an expression she recognized. One she had seemed so many times on herself, but to see it on someone else? Oh god. What had she done?
Pomni shook her head, before staring back up at Ragatha. Her eyes still held some fear, but it was still the calm face Pomni always wore when around her. Like she hadn't done anything wrong.Guilt clawed at her throat. Threatening to suffocate her. Pomni was probably pissed at her. She had messed up, she had messed up, she had messed up. The guilt tightening in her throat. She loved Pomni, the brief look of fear on her face made Ragatha feel disgusted with herself. Ragatha would have much rather Pomni just yelled at her for hours while she curled up on the floor trying to block out the noise. Anything besides this.
Ragatha felt shaky. Air refused to come into her lungs. Her legs wobbled before she forced herself onto the floor. Shark pricks of glass dug into her fabric but she couldn't care. Instead she began to beg, 'I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Im sorry, imsorryimsorry,' the words repeated between the desperate gasps for air, it started to feel strange on Ragatha's tongue as if it wasn't a phrase anymore.
A voice cut through,"Ra-——-. Ca— d—n," she immediately recognized it as Pomni's voice. She loved the sound of her voice despite not understanding what the other was saying over the beating of her own heart that rung in her ears. Suddenly she felt a presence in front of her only a foot away. It said something, soft and warm, before starting to take exaggerated breaths. Breathing, right. She needed to do that. Right now it wasn't as easy as breathing should be, but she followed along with the exaggerated breaths.
Air began to come into her lungs again, making what was happening around her less disorienting. It didn't even occur to her how out of it she had became in her panicked frenzy. The pain in her hands and calves became prominent. Oh, she was sitting in glass. Not her greatest idea. In front of her was her girlfriend. Her face set in worry but her voice soft. She could make out what she was saying now.
" It's okay. Your safe. I'm not angry at you. It was just a lamp. Your okay, Ragatha," the words soft and reassuring. She repeated the words over and over, trying to convince her girlfriend
Ragatha desperately wanted to believe it was true. Pomni wasn't angry, the jester loved her, but Ragatha's mom loved her and she was angry at her constantly. It was best to get up now. To stop making a scene before it could get worse. That would only result in a worse punishment.
Ragatha lifted her hands out of the glass. Rising onto her own two shaky legs, pain shot up them immediately at the pressure. A whimper cut through her lips.The sight of her legs where not the prettiest to say the least. Glass shards stuck in many spaces leaving cotton to drip down. Her breath hitched slightly at the gross sight.
Pomni's voice called out, panicked at her discomfort in walking."Hey, hey. Don't look that. Do you need help getting over to bed?" Ragatha paused for a second, then nodded. She didn't dare to speak. Not after she just yelled at her.
Pomni reached out to grab her waist, softly pulling her trembling body into the bed and against a pillow. She was gentle with her legs, softly stretching them out as her gaze lingered onto the wounds.
"Ragatha…" Pomni gently said. Her hand reached out gently as if she was about to touch Ragatha's shoulder, before she pulled back keeping her hand close to her side.
She's probably terrified of you after you yelled at her.
" Are you okay? You panicked really bad," Pomni spoke up again. Worry creased her face. It was a look she didn't deserve right now.
" Yeah," Ragatha refused to met Pomni's eyes. Ignoring Pomni's advice from earlier, she focused her attention on the glass in her hands. There was probably around 5 large chunks. They throbbed under her skin.Every movement seemed to cause the pain to flare as glass dug deeper into her fabric body.
" That looks like it hurts. Would you like me to get Caine to help?" The concept of Caine coming in here made her scared. By some grace Pomni wasn't angry at her. Probably out of pity of fear she'd lash out again, but Caine probably would be angry at her for wasting his time on her stupid mess and injuries. "Please no. I'll fix it. I'll fix it. I'll fix it-" Panic must have started to flood into her voice as Pomni immediately tried to calm her, to avoid another spiral.
"Calm down. It's okay. Your okay. Let me help you at least," Ragatha didn't argue as Pomni traveled to Ragatha's vanity in the corner of her room, grabbed Ragatha's tin of sewing supplies and came back. Ragatha always kept the tin of sewing supplies in her room. Due to her being made of fabric, it was a common occurrence when she was ripped. Sometimes it was better to just treat it in her room rather than asking Caine for help. Caine was often hard to get in contact with if the discussion was something not revolving around adventure, by the time you convince him to help she could have probably treated the wound herself. It was frankly a waste of time and energy.
" Okay. Can I see your hands?" Pomni said settling in front of Ragatha as she began to thread a needle. Ragatha's hands where shaky from pain and fear, cotton was spilling out of the areas where the glass was in bedded in fabric. Pomni reached out to grab the other's hands, but she hesitated for a second. Her hand pausing mid movement as if she was considering if it was a good idea to touch her, before softly resting her hands around Ragatha's.
She's scared of me, isn't she? Of course Pomni would be after you yelled at her!
Guilt pushed at Ragatha's eyes. She didn't want to touch her.Pomni probably hated her! She probably saw a person just like Ragatha's mother in her. Tears that Ragatha didn't allow to fall began to flow down her face. Her eyes burned as tears fell into her own lap.
"I'm so sorry! Am I hurting you?" Pomni titled her head quizzically, her touch immediate turned lighter and her voice to soft. She was too kind.
"I'm sorry for yelling at you. I didn't mean to scare you, Pomni. It just… happened. I'm so sorry. " Ragatha blurted out. The tears came down faster, guilt continued to gnaw at her stomach.
Pomni's face contoured into gentle understanding. Her patience and beauty made Ragatha's breath hitch in her throat. Ragatha loved her face. She loved Pomni.
" It's okay, really. Yeah it… scared me for a second.I never expected for you to yell at me. It also wasn't okay for you to yell at me, but I don't think you would have do that if you weren't so scared. It doesn't change how I see you,"
"You won't touch me," Ragatha observed, her voice quiet and unsure.
" Oh. It's just… you got so panicked when I touched you! I wasn't sure you wanted to be touched right now. It's like you thought I was going to-… hurt you," Pomni's eyes dawned with a sudden realization, "Oh, that's why you where so scared wasn't it?"
Shame rained over Ragatha, before she hesitantly nodded. She didn't trust her voice right now. Pomni went quiet. Not fully sure what to say,
"Ragatha.. I'm so sorry I scared you. I hope you know I'd never hurt you," Ragatha nodded, but she couldn't bring herself to fully believe Pomni right now. Logically she doubted Pomni would hurt her, but emotionally she couldn't be 100% sure at the moment.
Pomni continued treating Ragatha's wounds. It felt better to have the wounds stitched closed. Luckily that part always hurt a lot less than it should. If anything it felt like tiny pinches, and it always felt better for her fabric-y skin to be in one piece rather than the feeling of cotton coming out of her injuries..
"Done. All done," Pomni spoke up after a bit. " Doing okay?"
Ragatha nodded, her face a tired smile. She laid down in the bed and patted for Pomni to join her. "Yeah, thank you, dear. It doesn't hurt as much."
Pomni's rubber body pressed against her again. Smooth and comforting. She could stay like that forever. Their hands intertwined tightly in each other's. " I'm glad your okay physically, but you were pretty spooked earlier. Are you okay emotionally? Mentally?"
Ragatha paused at that one. She just turned her attention up the the ceiling rather than her partner's face. She wanted to say something. Anything. Yet nothing seemed like the right thing to say. The ability to express her emotions wasn't one of her strengths.
" Did she ever…. hurt you physically?" Pomni questioned. The 'she' didn't need to be named. They both knew who was being referred to. She had told her about the things her mother did, like the yelling and guilt tripping. Purposefully she had left out the times her mom had decided to hit her. It wasn't something she wanted to admit, not even to herself.
Ragatha hesitated, she could feel her voice cracking but tried her best to not let it show."Yes…." before rushing to add in, Not often though! Only when she was super upset!"
Pomni's hand wrapped tighter around her own. Her lined by sadness. " She should have never done that. No matter how upset she was. It isn't fair to you!" Anger began to slide into her voice, but she took a deep shaky breath to steady herself. "Nothing that happened to you under her roof was okay, Ragatha."
Pomni was right. What gave her any right to do that? Any of it. Her mother was suppose to protect her, to care for her, to love her! She had failed at that and it hurt her.
"…One time she was already super mad, she hit me as hard as she could so I'd learn something." Ragatha recalled, her face twisted into a tight frown. Pomni gently rubbed her forearm with her free hand. "Funny thing is it didn't teach me nothing. It was some silly mistake I don't even remember making. I only remember being on the floor. Begging her to stop. Terrified,"
"That's f(%$C!#)d up. You didn't deserve that. No one does. She did so many terrible things to you. You deserve to be loved and safe. Far away from her," Pomni held her arms out, offering Ragatha a hug. She didn't resist, letting her body fall into her lover's embrace. It was warm. Safe.
" I thought you'd be angry at me for breaking something. My brain said you where going to yell at me. Then you touched me, I was so sure you where going to hurt me.I panicked," Ragatha stuttered through barely conceived sobs. Pomni took to rubbing her back, softly kissing the top of Ragatha's yarn hair.
" I know, I know. It's okay. Your okay. It was an accident. I would never get mad at you over that. Let alone hurt you," she hushed softly. Suddenly Ragatha just felt herself break. The fear residing from her body, leaving behind weariness and the bittersweet feeling Pomni's comfort gave her. Instead of fighting it, she just let it break out.
More tears came from her face this time violent and strong, shaking her frame. Pomni just pulled her closer, as if she could single handily protect her girlfriend from any pain. Ragatha let herself believe that she could. It felt nice to cry over all the pent of fear, like a weight off her chest. It was a feeling of relief she wished for since forever. Relief that she was safe. Relief that she was safe. Relief that someone truly loved her.