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The sun blinded him. He closed his eyes, as if ignoring the sun would delay the moment he had to get up.
But he had no choice but to wake up when his alarm went off. He turned it off, and as he moved just a few inches, the arm around his waist tightened.
“Don’t go...” Shawn mumbled against his chest. Holding Eric tighter, as if to keep him trapped there under him.
And yet Eric couldn’t help but smile. “Shawnie...”
“Shh, I don’t want to wake up, let me stay in denial.”
Eric chuckled at his words. “Shawn, you’re crushing my ribs and my lungs and—”
And Shawn didn't move. "Stop being dramatic." The weight on top of him groaned again.
Eric gasped. Dramatically, as always.
“So you want to kill me? What if, because of you, one of my ribs pierces my heart—”
“Well, just die in silence; I'm trying to sleep.”
That was what life was like now.
Eric woke up every morning with Shawn Turner. And he would never tire of that sight.
And spending these moments of his life with Shawn Turner was the best decision he’d ever made.
Eric tried to push Shawn off him, and failed. Shawn wasn’t exactly light...
“I’m not moving.”
Eric rolled his eyes, without any real annoyance, though.
“Please?”
Shawn grunted again but reluctantly rolled onto the side, freeing his boyfriend.
The mattress sagged as he landed on it with another groan.
Shawn was more like a wild animal than a human in the morning.
Eric finally got out of bed, stretching slowly. He turned his head toward Shawn and couldn’t help but smile again.
Shawn had fallen back asleep, the pillow in his arms, half lying on top of it. Just like he’d done with Eric a few seconds before he let go of him.
Eric kissed his temple and headed toward the kitchen. (Which didn’t take much effort, since their bed was right next to it.) And poured coffee from the machine.
Eric had become an adult; he couldn’t function properly without coffee.
Just as he was about to bring the cup to his lips, his phone rang on the counter.
He answered with a sigh and slipped out onto the balcony so as not to wake Shawn.
Their balcony was huge—but filled with tons of boxes they still hadn’t thrown out from when they both moved into the apartment.
He stepped over a few boxes and leaned against the railing. “Hello?”
The voice in his ear was almost aggressive, too loud.
“I can’t take it anymore! Joshua started crying at 3 a.m. … 3 a.m., Eric! Topanga and I aren’t getting any sleep…”
Cory was still living with their parents… And now with their youngest little brother, things were complicated for Cory and Topanga.
“And how is that my problem?”
“We can't take it anymore! Can we come over to your place?”
Eric chuckled softly. Was Cory serious?
“My place? It's a tin can. Where do you want to sleep, the bathroom?”
He heard Cory laughing like a maniac on the phone. “Oh, you have no idea what I'm capable of, Eric! I might even sleep on your balcony! I'm desperate!”
Eric chuckled softly at his brother's desperation.
“Ask Jack—he's had an extra room since I left, hasn't he?”
“No—two of Rachel's friends took them.”
Oh right, Rachel’s friends. Jack’s new girlfriend.
“He has a couch—”
“So do you!”
Eric sighed loudly into the phone.
“I don't want you in my apartment!
“Did you think you had a choice, sweetie?” Cory replied.
“Come any where near me and I’ll break your knees. You know I’ll do it.”
Cory grumbled. “Thanks a lot!” he said sarcastically before hanging up.
Eric sighed and slipped his phone into the pocket of his sweatpants. He finally took a sip of his coffee, which had gone lukewarm by then. "Fuck."
The balcony door opened behind him. He turned around and saw Shawn, who was now awake.
“I heard you scream... Are you okay?”
Eric nodded. “Yeah, it's just Cory complaining.”
It was Shawn's turn to nod, his hip pressed against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest.
“That doesn’t answer my question. Are you okay?”
Eric sighed. “Yeah, I guess. I feel bad for saying no to Cory who wanted to come here...”
“He wanted to come here?”
“Yeah.”
“You did the right thing by saying no... You’re entitled to your own life too now... You know?"
Eric looked confused.
Shawn sighed. “I mean... you're not just a big brother anymore. You're an adult... You have every right not to want Cory in your house. That doesn't make you an asshole.”
The younger man gave a slight smile. “And if you want my opinion... I'd rather be alone with you, too.”
Eric smiled back at him, setting his cup down on a cardboard box. “You always know what to say... My favorite philosopher...” He chuckled softly, moving closer to Shawn so he could wrap his arms around his waist.
And automatically, Shawn’s arms wrapped around his neck. Like on autopilot, out of habit. And just as their lips were about to touch... Eric’s phone rang again in his pocket.
Eric groaned and rolled his eyes. “I’m going to burn this thing.”
Shawn chuckled softly and planted a quick kiss on Eric’s lips. “Answer it.”
And Eric did.
“I went over to Jack’s place and—”
As soon as he heard Cory’s voice, he hung up and put his phone back in his pocket.
“Cory?” Shawn said with a smile.
Eric nodded, fed up with his brother. He loved Cory—that wasn't the problem—but he'd also like to be left alone for just one day.
“Yeah, kiss me again now.”
Shawn laughed and kissed him again, closing his eyes. His fingers began to play with strands of hair.
The rest of the morning passed in an oddly quiet way. Just a normal Sunday.
Eric was cooking, Shawn was sitting on the kitchen counter... They were chatting... Normal.
Well—until it was Shawn’s turn for the phone to ring.
“Dad?” he said into the receiver when he answered.
Eric exhaled in relief when he realized it wasn’t Cory.
“Can you tell me why Cory and Topanga are in my living room?”
Shawn sighed, and Eric banged his head against a cabinet above him.
Shawn stayed silent for a second, slowly blinking.
“…They’re what?”
Jonathan’s voice on the other end didn’t change.
“Cory and Topanga. In my living room."
Eric let out a slow, defeated laugh from the kitchen, leaning both hands on the counter like his soul had briefly left his body. He was becoming crazy, he could feel it.
“Of course they are,” Shawn muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Apparently they had nowhere else to go,” Jonathan continued. "Cory said you two didn't wanted them."
“…I’m going to kill him.” Eric said. And he sounded horrifically serious.
Shawn chuckled but tried to refocus, clearing his throat into the phone. “Tell them we’re coming to pick them up—”
Eric gave him a strange look, as if to say, “Are you serious?”
“There’s a motel near our place.”
Eric let out another sigh of relief when he heard the rest of the sentence.
Shawn hung up and jumped down from the counter where he’d been perched with a sigh. “I’ll go pick them up,” he said, grabbing the car keys that were lying next to him.
“I’m coming with you,” Eric said, putting the salad he’d started making back in the fridge.
Eric was clearly annoyed, frustrated… Maybe even pretty angry.
Shawn was driving, because an angry Eric behind the wheel... was dangerous. He could hear the sound of Eric’s trembling leg slapping against the car floor. He almost seemed to be bubbling up from the inside.
When he pulled up in front of his father’s building, Cory opened the trunk and tossed their stuff inside. Topanga and he sat in the backseat.
“Thanks, that's really nice—” Topanga had started before her boyfriend cut her off.
“It took you guys forever! I can't believe you don't want us to come to your place...” Cory complained, yet again.
“Cory, shut your fucking mouth!”
Silence fell.
Shawn turned to his boyfriend, who had just yelled.
Cory had fallen silent. Topanga didn't dare speak either.
The ride passed in dead silence, the only sound betraying them being the engine of their car.
After a moment, Eric let out another sigh. “Sorry for yelling—”
“No, it’s fine, I get it,” Cory said. “You just don’t want to help us.”
Shawn rolled his eyes, sharing a tired glance with Topanga behind him in the rearview mirror.
“Damn it, Cory—I’m apologizing here!”
“I don’t want your apology! I just wish you’d let me come over to your place, that you wouldn’t try to cut me out of your life!”
“I'm not cutting you out of my life!”
“Yes, you are! Back when you first moved in with Jack, I used to come over to your place... We’d see each other, we’d call each other... And when you moved apartments, too! Now I feel like you don’t want me in your life anymore—”
Shawn and Topanga remained silent, clearly not wanting to get caught in the crossfire of this argument.
“Cory, that’s not true! I just want my own life, too!”
“Oh, and by ‘your own life’—you mean a life without me, is that it?”
Eric let out yet another sigh. “No, Cory! It's just that—Damn it, you're an adult! You're supposed to take care of your own life!”
Cory didn't say anything, but turned to Shawn.
“Stop right there."
Shawn gave an awkward laugh.
“In the middle of the road?”
“We’ll find your motel, but I’m not staying in this car a minute longer.”
And as soon as they reached a red light (since Shawn didn’t want to stop in the middle of the road), Cory got out, grabbed their stuff, and made Topanga get out too.
Eric ran his hands over his face.
“Don't worry... He'll get over it. You know how he is...”
Shawn said in a low voice as the light turned green. The engine started up again.
“How does Topanga put up with him?”
“He’s not that bad, really,” Shawn said.
“He’s just afraid of losing you. He misses you—after all, you’re his big brother—” Shawn continued.
“Yeah, but he can get by without me, can’t he?” Eric retorted, exasperated.
Shawn looked at him for a moment before refocusing on the road. “Actually, no. You’ve lived without him… He’s never lived without you.”
And because Shawn’s words had always stirred something inside him, even though he didn’t know why... When they got home, he called Cory back. He apologized. Again. Cory apologized too.
And because between brothers, problems never really last long... Shawn heard Eric laughing on the phone.
Days passed, and so did the months—
And December had now been installed.
Shawn was woken up by the ringing of the phone. It was his father.
As soon as he answered, he had to hold the phone away from his ear.
“Happy birthday!”
Shawn couldn’t help but smile.
Every December 11th reminded him of the two best birthdays of his life.
The day he became a Turner... And the day he became Eric’s.
“Thanks...” he said in a tired voice over the phone, with a soft laugh.
He got up; he was alone in bed. Eric had left early; they served breakfast at the restaurant on Fridays.
Shawn stayed on the phone with his father, now out on the balcony, coffee in hand. It was cold, but he was out there anyway. They’d just finally tidied up their balcony, so he might as well enjoy it.
“So, how are you?”
“I’m fine, and you, my big 19-year-old boy!”
Shawn laughed.
“I’m fine, I’m fine... Damn. A year already.”
A year since he turned 18. A year since he’s been with Eric.
“You know… I didn’t think it would last this long with Eric,” Jonathan said on the other end of the line.
Shawn faked a gasp. “What?!” He laughed again into the phone.
“I knew you two loved each other, but I thought you'd end up hating each other after moving in together so quickly…” Jonathan chuckled too.
Shawn shook his head. “I don’t think I could ever hate him.”
“Don’t be so confident—it’s only been a year!”
“Go fuck yourself!” Shawn laughed again.
They stayed on the phone... for hours. (It was going to cost him a month's salary again...) Shawn was late for work... And then he'd completely forgotten to go at all.
And when they finally hung up, Shawn couldn't help but smile once more. That was his life. Being happy, and paying a fortune in phone bills...
The 13-year-old Shawn would never have believed it. He still remembers how he saw himself in 10 years... Probably alone, an alcoholic, unhappy... And in the end. He was happy. Surrounded by people. Sick of alcohol—
He finished his coffee.
Damn.
Nineteen.
At thirteen... He’d thought he’d die long before he had a chance to turn nineteen. And yet, here he was.
Shawn swallowed hard.
And to consider that he might not have been here… would’ve meant never getting this.
He might not have been here. And that was a terrifying thought.
He could have given it all up at thirteen... but if he had... he would never have had the life he has today.
In the end, he hadn’t gone to work. He claimed he was sick.
And when Eric walked through the door that evening, he practically threw himself at him, a smile on his face.
“Hey, gorgeous." Eric chuckled softly as Shawn hugged him. He was still wearing his coat, his scarf, his shoes... And yet he tossed his keys onto the entryway table and returned his boyfriend’s embrace.
Shawn never wanted to let go of him.
“Happy birthday...” Eric whispered in his ear, and Shawn held him even tighter.
The next day, his back ached terribly. They had fallen asleep on the couch while eating chips and watching a Christmas movie...
He regretted it when he had to get up.
The days flew by after that.
December 24.
Shawn could hear his father and Eric talking as he drove. They had picked up Jonathan to go to the Matthews’ house for Christmas.
“I have a new student in my class who reminds me of you!” Jonathan exclaimed, and Eric turned around in his seat almost immediately.
“Oh really? Some weirdo who doesn’t pay attention in class?”
Jonathan laughed. “No! A really nice kid… Who doesn’t pay much attention in class, sure, but who’s mostly… dyslexic.”
“What’s that?” Shawn was the first to ask, as he passed a car.
“Someone who mixes up words when reading... or writing, but in that case it’s more like dysorthography.”
Eric chuckled softly. “Poor kids, such long names for people who can’t write…” Then he continued. “Why does that make you think of me?”
Jonathan shrugged. “Have you ever been tested for dyslexia?”
Eric shook his head.
“You should give it a try.”
“But I can read.” Eric chuckled.
“So can they—they just mix up letters or words...”
Eric didn’t say anything else, but he didn’t dismiss the idea either.
“So what’s this student like?”
“Oh, Evan is a super smart kid—”
“See, we don’t have that much in common after all,” Eric joked.
At that, Shawn nudged him in the shoulder with his elbow.
“Ouch!” Eric squealed, rubbing his shoulder.
“Why?” Eric croaked, laughing.
“You're not stupid.” Shawn said simply, focused on the road ahead.
“Yeah, and cars fly—”
Another elbow jab slammed into his shoulder.
“Come on, dude!”
Another one.
“Well, I didn’t say anything this time!”
Shawn flashed a proud smile. “Yeah, but I’m not your ‘dude’!”
Jonathan laughed from behind them. “Oh, you guys are exhausting...”
And when their car pulled up in front of the Matthews’ house, they saw Morgan running toward them.
“Finally, some interesting people! I’ve been listening to Cory talk about his foot doctor for twenty minutes!” she complained as she hugged her older brother.
Eric chuckled.
Cory and Topanga were already there; he could see their car behind theirs... After all, their apartment was closer to the house.
Oh yeah, because they’d finally found an apartment. A small one near college, but still.
He could see his parents through the window, and Mr. Feeny too, and as soon as he saw him, he let go of his sister and practically ran inside.
Shawn chuckled at that. “Sorry, Morgan… I think he just saw his favorite person.”
“And you're okay with that?”
“Oh, I know full well that I could never outdo Feeny.”
And when they went inside, Shawn was greeted with a huge hug from Cory.
“Man, I missed you!”
They had seen each other three days ago.
“I missed you too,” he replied, hugging him back.
“Oh, Shawn!” Alan practically pushed his son aside to greet Shawn. He patted him on the shoulder. “How are you?”
“Oh, I couldn't be better.”
Alan then greeted Jonathan, and Amy joined them, holding Joshua in her arms.
Shawn looked at Eric, who was already starting to talk to Mr. Feeny... And compared to when they were younger, their teacher seemed genuinely interested in the conversation.
The door opened again, and Shawn was pulled by Morgan toward the front door.
“Meet Amber!” She exclaimed.
Shawn understood. He remembered her name.
“Oh, Amber… Hi.” He gave a big smile.
Amber. The girl Morgan had fallen in love with when she was younger… And had asked Shawn if that was normal. He remembers, of course.
“Nice to meet you. I’m dating Morgan. Amy and Alan invited me over for Christmas—my parents are away on a business trip...”
Shawn shook her hand. “Shawn. Eric’s boyfriend—”
“And my best friend!” Cory butted into the conversation, slinging an arm around Shawn’s shoulders.
The door opened again, this time revealing Jack. Eric practically threw himself at him. “Jack!” he practically shouted, crushing his ribs in a huge hug.
Shawn laughed at the sight, then hugged Jack as well. He hadn’t seen his brother in a while.
When he let go and took a moment to look at him, he noticed something.
“Oh my god—that beard doesn’t suit you at all, shave it off!” Shawn had laughed.
The rest of the evening went wonderfully.
Shawn couldn't help but think that this was what his life was like now. Visiting his in-laws for Christmas... And just living a happy life.
He saw Eric laughing, his head tilted back as that wonderful sound echoed through the kitchen.
And suddenly, he was eleven again.
He watched Eric live his life once more, thinking he was the coolest person in the universe... Admiring his hair, coming over to the Matthews’ just to see him for even a single second...
And now he could admire him every day.
Eight years.
Eight years since then.
Already eight years.
Eight years since he’d fallen in love with Eric Randall Matthews.
As night fell, the house grew quieter. They were sleeping with Cory, Topanga, and Jack in Eric and Cory’s childhood bedroom. On mattresses on the floor… And Joshua.
Jonathan was sleeping in the living room, and Feeny... well, he was sleeping at his own place.
“I can't believe it—I'm sleeping on the floor in my own room!” Cory chuckled.
“Technically, it's not your room anymore.” Topanga smiled as she looked at Joshua sleeping in his crib.
Shawn leaned close to his friend to whisper in his ear. “I think she’s going to want kids soon…” He chuckled, and Cory smacked him on the back of the head in response.
Shawn looked around the room.
And millions of memories came flooding back.
Like the window he used to come in and out through all the time.
Or just the room, where he used to hang out most of the time...
Nostalgia... Ugh, he hated that.
Shawn shifted slightly on his mattress, pulling the blanket higher over his shoulder. The room was quiet enough now that every tiny sound felt too loud—someone turning in their sleep, a soft breath, the house settling like it remembered them.
Eric was lying close by.
He turned his head just a little.
Eric’s face was relaxed in sleep, mouth slightly open, hair falling messily over his forehead. It made something in Shawn’s chest soften in that annoying way he still didn’t fully know how to deal with.
He used to look at Eric from far away.
Now he could reach out and touch him without thinking.
That thought hit him again.
How did I get here?
Not like confusion.
More like disbelief that had learned how to breathe.
Cory snored somewhere across the room, loudly enough to break the moment for half a second.
Shawn exhaled a small laugh through his nose.
Of course he did.
Some things never changed.
The first thing Shawn noticed was light.
Not sunlight exactly—more like that pale, cold December glow slipping through the curtains like it had nowhere better to be.
Shawn didn’t move at first.
Because moving meant accepting reality. And reality meant leaving warmth.
Eric, on the other hand, was already shifting beside him, blinking slowly like his brain was still loading.
“…Is it morning?” Eric muttered.
Shawn made a noise that could’ve meant yes, no, or please let me die here peacefully.
From somewhere across the room, Cory sat up too fast.
“IT’S CHRISTMAS!”
“Cory,” Topanga groaned immediately, “it’s 7 a.m.”
“I KNOW. IT'S CHRISTMAS!”
Shawn finally opened one eye.
Eric was looking at him.
That soft, sleepy look. Hair everywhere. Blanket half on the floor. Face still warm from sleep.
Shawn felt it again—that annoying soft thing in his chest.
“…Merry Christmas,” Eric said quietly.
Shawn exhaled.
“Yeah,” he mumbled. “Merry Christmas.”
And then, because Cory had the emotional restraint of a fire alarm, he launched himself across the room and tried to hug everyone at once.
Which resulted in:
Topanga biting him,
Eric falling off his mattress,
Jack screaming,
and Shawn getting crushed under approximately 70% of Cory’s enthusiasm.
“CORY—” Eric wheezed.
“It’s CHRISTMAS,” Cory screamed again.
“Cory, get off me!” Jack yelled, before shoving the younger man to the floor.
The door burst open. “Is someone being murdered or something?! You're going to wake the baby!” Amy yelled as she rushed into the room. And she was right, because Joshua started crying.
They all ended up going downstairs, and Morgan was already waiting for them in front of the tree, hot chocolate in hand, with Amber half-asleep in a chair next to her.
And then there were their gifts. Amy had bought Alan a shirt... Just like every year. (Then again, after living together for so long, what else are you supposed to buy?)
And Joshua had received maybe a dozen stuffed animals from everyone.
Eric stood up after a moment, perched on a chair, as if he had a huge announcement to make.
Jonathan finally looked up from the mug Shawn had given him, which had “Best Dad Ever” written on it. (probably his fifth one already— Shawn wasn't great with gifts.)
“Hear ye, hear ye, everyone!” Eric exclaimed.
“I have a very important gift to give to my favorite person—”
Shawn could almost feel his cheeks flush.
But Eric walked over to Mr. Feeny. Of course.
He simply handed him a letter. Nothing else.
George looked at him for a moment before finally opening the letter. And tears began to well up behind his glasses.
“Thank you for never doubting me.” That was the last sentence, which he read aloud. He closed the letter and looked at Eric.
“I don’t regret not having doubted you... Thank you, Eric.”
And that emotion came to an abrupt halt when Cory gifted his parents some condoms.
“Because apparently you don’t know what it is—no more kids!”
And of course— Alan slapped the back of his head so hard the sound echoed.
When they were in the car on their way home, Eric’s hand rested on Shawn’s thigh.
He smiled, and his hand rested on Eric’s.
“Be careful—”
“I know how to drive, Shawn.” Eric chuckled softly.
They had already dropped Jonathan off at his place.
“I just remembered something,” Eric said suddenly.
“Hm?”
“You didn’t give me any gifts.”
Shawn gave a slight, teasing smile. “You’ll see.”
Shawn completely forgot when they got home—all he knew was that they didn’t sleep a wink that night.
And the next morning, they found a note on their door from their neighbors asking them to keep the noise down.
The days after Christmas flew by even faster.
January, February, March, April...
April.
They had woken up early today.
Eric was already sitting on the floor, drill in hand, with boards scattered all around them, while Shawn watched him, sipping from his water bottle.
Eric had finally decided to build a partition to separate the bedroom from the kitchen. (And from the rest of the apartment...)
Shawn finally put down his bottle and tried to help him as much as possible. Even though neither of them was exactly handy...
After several hours, they managed to build a partition... A little wobbly, but it would do the trick until they had a proper one built.
At least until a loud noise woke them up in the middle of the night.
The partition had fallen to the floor.
“Fucking hell—”
That was his life.
And he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.