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I love you in every timeline. I know this because there is no way that I couldn’t love you. Your kindness, your courage, your determination… there is no way that any version of me couldn’t love that.
In this timeline, you don’t love me. That’s okay though. You are, at the very least, happy with him. It’s painful knowing that you laugh with him, cry with him… that you share your world with him and not me. But honestly, you couldn’t have picked a better guy. You wouldn’t be happy with me after all. Just knowing me put you in danger.
But still, I can’t help but wonder about the timeline that you picked me. Did I manage to keep you safe? Are we happy? Maybe we own a cat! Or three! Hahah that would be pretty great, wouldn’t it? I think I would be happy with that. Three cats and you.
Sometimes I dream of the me that can see your smiling face everyday. That version of me is better and stronger for having your love. I can take on anything the world throws at me, knowing, without a doubt, that you are there to support me. You take down my walls and erase all my doubts and when you reach out, I wake up with my hand twitching to take yours.
And for a moment, I almost don’t remember that you chose him. I almost hear you breathing, asleep beside me. I almost don’t feel my heart break.
I remind myself that you are happy. And although it hurts, I am glad that in this timeline at least, I got to know you and love you.
Because I know that in some timelines, I probably didn’t get to know you at all.