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Sieun closes the chat, and turns off his phone after checking the time.
Two thirty am, what am I doing.
He just left Baku's party after seeing Suho dancing with some girl. It made him feel so awful, he pushed his drink in Juntae's chest and walked straight out.
Kept walking until he found himself in front of his apartment door. That was an hour ago.
He kept checking his phone, but the only messages he got were from Juntae, Gotak, and Baku himself. Asking where he went, if he was okay.
Nothing from Suho.
Not that it's that much of a surprise, they're just friends. If that.
He should be grateful. He's been in love with him since they first met, but one thing lead to another and now they're in this limbo state. He's not sure what he is, or wants anymore.
It hurts. Is what he realized today. He can't keep doing this.
He took a cold shower right after he texted him. Calculated the exact time it would take Suho to get here, and the time he'd need for his shower. He checks his watch, right about—
The beeping sound of his front door echoes through the otherwise quiet apartment.
He walks out of the bathroom, wearing an oversized tee that's stretched at the neckline and shorts that ride up just a little around his thighs. His hair's still wet.
Suho bulldozes through the apartment, "Sieun-ahhhh, where are you?"
Sieun walks into the living room, meeting him halfway.
Before he gets a word out, however, he finds Suho already cradling his face. His mouth finding his own, almost aggressively. He tastes mint from the gum he was probably chewing before he got here, it barely masks the taste of the somaek he was drinking.
Sieun pushes him hard, "yah—"
Suho chases his mouth again though, relentless.
Maybe I should've waited til the morning, Sieun thinks belatedly. Jealousy had blinded his rational mind, he's usually not this impulsive.
Usually.
He gives Suho a hard shove, making him stumble a little.
"Sieun-ah?"
"I told you I wanted to talk." Sieun's chest is rising and falling, but he tries to keep his tone even. He wants this to end quietly, without lashing out.
"Oh— I thought you were—" Suho rubs a hand over his face, like he's trying to clear his mind, "okay, yeah. What's up?" He sits down on the couch.
He pats the space next to him, but Sieun doesn't move. He keeps standing, afraid of what he'll do if he's too close. Of what he won't do if he's too close.
"I'm done, Suho," he mutters through gritted teeth.
"Done? With what?" Suho looks up at him, his expression open and confused.
"I'm done with this," Sieun gestures a hand between them, "whatever this is."
Suho stands up again, slowly, "what do you mean?"
"I mean that I can't do this anymore," Sieun takes a deep breath, "this friends with benefits thing, we're barely even friends. And this is clearly not enough for you anyway." He feels his throat close up. Stupid, now is not the time to cry— he's just a fuck buddy.
"Not enough for me? Sieun-ah, what are you talking about?" He takes a step closer, but Sieun takes a step back.
"I saw you," he looks away, doesn't want Suho to see the tears pooling in his eyes, "with that girl."
"What girl?" Suho shakes his head, "Sieun-ah… I know we never gave this a name, but you've been the only one for me."
Sieun takes another step back, meeting the wall.
He scoffs, "yeah, that's why you had that girl hanging off your shoulders earlier."
Suho sighs, "I really have no idea who you're talking about."
Sieun meets his eyes again, "exactly, maybe that's the problem," he wipes the tears that started falling, "it hurts me too much. Suho-yah, I'm sorry I have to choose myself, I can't do this anymore."
Suho opens his mouth, but Sieun moves past him to the chair where Suho had discarded his jacket. He holds it up, "that's all, please leave. I'm sorry that I called you here this late. Go back to the party or something."
Suho takes the jacket, but instead of leaving, he tosses it to the side.
"Sieun-ah, I'm not leaving."
Sieun sighs, "please don't make this harder than it needs to be. I can't do this anymore," he begs.
Suho steps closer again, while Sieun is backing away. Eventually he meets the wall once more, and Suho braces his hands next to his head.
"I'm not leaving, because I only ever want you," he hides his face in Sieun's neck, "Sieun-ah, you're all I can think about."
Sieun shivers at the feeling of Suho's feathery kisses on his neck, fresh tears falling from his eyes, "Suho-yah, please, don't do this."
Suho pulls back again, his eyes meeting Sieun's, "Sieun-ah, in case you hadn't noticed, I've completely and irrevocably fallen for you."
Sieun's eyes widen, "what?" He breathes out.
Suho bumps his nose with Sieun's, "yeah, pabo, I'm so in love with you, earlier with Yeongi—" he gasps, "yah! Were you jealous of Yeongi?! She's a lesbian!"
An embarrassing blush explodes across Sieun's face, painting his cheeks a beautiful shade of red, "huh?"
Suho is laughing. Suho is laughing?!
"Yah, the only girl I've been with all night was Yeongi. Oh my god, Sieun-ah!" He slaps a hand on his forehead as he can't stop his giggles, "I was telling her how much I wanted you!"
"Wait, Suho-yah," he pushes him away, to clear his head, "what's happening right now…"
Suho leans his entire body on Sieun, hiding his face in his neck again, while his laugh still shakes through him, "I can't believe this," he looks at his face again, his laughter turning into a fond smile now. He brings his hand up, as he pushes Sieun's bangs out of his eyes with gentle fingers, "unless I completely misunderstood this, I'm hoping you'd want to be my boyfriend?"
"Oh." Is all Sieun manages to push out of his throat.
"Yeah. Oh. Don't leave me hanging though?" Suho's smile turns sheepish.
Sieun looks at him for a beat longer, before he wraps his arms around Suho's neck and crashes his mouth with his own again.
Suho meets him easily, he lifts his legs to wrap them around his waist and carries him to his bedroom.