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Celebrían had always felt like someone was observing her. From the day she was born, apart from the watchful eye of her mother, there was something else watching over her ever every day of her life. Sometimes its presence was stronger, sometimes weaker, but it was always there. She thought she was imagining things at first, that she would’ve noticed if someone was watching her.
Bringing that concern to her parents only confirmed Celebrían’s suspicions. Galadriel got even more overprotective than she already was, and every time Celebrían confronted her about it, she refused to acknowledge there was a reason behind that protectiveness. Celeborn always tried to soften things between mother and daughter, telling Celebrían to understand her mother.
“I can’t understand anything if she doesn’t tell me,” Celebrían rightfully told him every time.
“Your mother is simply worried about you,” Celeborn tried to explain. “We have been through a lot since the war against the Dark Lord, many orcs are still out there. Rivendell is–”
“The result of rebuilding a destructed Eregion, I know,” Celebrían repeated what she had heard hundreds of times. “Elrond has told me everything about it, you don’t have to repeat it to me.”
Something else that bothered Celebrían was how she felt about Celeborn. He had always been a good father, kind, brave, wise, understanding, anything a child could hope for in a parent. And yet, her connection with her mother had always been much stronger. Celebrían couldn’t tell why at first, she was mad at herself for wanting to connect with her father and being unable to.
As Celebrían grew older, Galadriel’s protectiveness didn’t lessen, but she was less wary about letting her run free as long as she didn’t get too far from Elven lands. Celebrían’s first journeys out of Rivendell were in Elrond’s company. It was during one of those multiple journeys together that she started to become aware about her feelings for him being more than friendly ones.
Though there was something more important for Celebrían than that: discovering what Galadriel was keeping from her. What could her own mother possibly hide so deep down that even the mere mention of it made her face grow so scared and angry? There was something else behind that, but Celebrían was unable to decipher what that was yet. Galadriel often wasn’t easy to read.
During Celebrían’s third journey far from Rivendell without company, she met a man. A seemingly lost human who asked her for directions first and a few questions about herself after, when she offered to guide him to his destination. Nothing too suspicious at first. Her name, her age, where she was from and some usual questions about the Elves than humans tended to ask.
The man was nice enough, at least in Celebrían’s eyes. There was something familiar about him that she couldn’t quite pinpoint yet. Like most of the times she encountered others outside of her home, Men, Dwarves, even Hobbits at times, she didn’t tell Galadriel about it. The majority were simply not relevant enough for Celebrían to report it to her parents, there was no point in it.
On her way from Rivendell to Lothlórien, Celebrían was surprised when she met that man again. “Are you lost again?”
“Not quite,” he let out a chuckle. “I have managed to find an occupation nearby and I fear it requires me to collect materials every once in a while.”
“I see,” she got curious then. “And what this occupation might me?”
“Smith,” he explained. “The village you helped get to has a forge and they were impressed with my work, so I decided to stay.”
“I see,”
“Forgive me if I’m being too bold here, but you seem familiar, have we met before?”
“I do not think we have, sir,” Celebrían replied with a smile, not wanting to mention the fact that she shared that familiar sensation. “It would not be the first time someone confuses me with my mother, have you met any elf that looks a lot like me by any chance?”
The man stayed silent, visibly hesitant. “I have,” he finally spoke. “Lady Galadriel.”
Celebrían remained wary just in case, discreetly moving a hand to her sword. “She is my mother.”
“Please, do not look so tense,” he laughed. “I met your mother long ago, but she did not quite enjoy my company.”
“Long ago?” Celebrían frowned. “How old are you, sir?”
“Right, I keep forgetting about Elves’ extremely long lives,” he scratched the back of his head. “It was not that long ago for you, I suppose, but it was many years ago.”
Celebrían has heard about many enemies of Middle-earth, of the Elves, of Galadriel herself, but none of them matched that man’s description. She was curious to know all of her mother’s secrets, the ones she kept so hidden that Celebrían thought nobody else would ever know. Not Celeborn or not even Elrond. Getting them from someone else wasn’t fair, but she couldn’t help it.
“Why did she not like you?” Celebrían dared to ask then.
“You may ask your mother about that, if she wishes to tell you,” the man shrugged. “I do not hate her or something like that, so you can remove your hand from your sword.”
“I was not holding my sword,” Celebrían lied.
“Yes, you were,” he scoffed. “I’m glad I could meet her daughter, I heard of the Lady of Light’s daughter plenty of times. You are as beautiful as she is.”
“Thank you,” Celebrían said mostly out of politeness. “I cannot ask my mother about you without a name. You still did not give me yours.”
The man showed a half-smile that Celebrían could not decipher. “Halbrand.”
╍
Once back in Rivendell after spending several weeks in Lothlórien, Celebrían still wondered who that Halbrand was and whatever his relationship with her mother was. She told no one about it, wanting to hear the story from her mother’s lips – if she chose to tell it, that is. What could have possibly happened with him to make Galadriel not even want to mention his existence?
“Dearest,” Galadriel fondly kissed Celebrían’s forehead once she was by her side. “Did you have any trouble getting to Lothlórien
“Everything was quite alright, mother,” Celebrían assured. “Though there is something I wish to discuss with you,” when Galadriel tilted her head out of curiosity, she took it as a sign to begin. “I was on my way to Lothlórien when I met a very particular man. For the second time, if I’m being truthful. He was nice enough and did not hurt me, but he said he knew you long ago and that you never liked him.”
Galadriel looked tense, Celebrían could tell. “Did he tell you his name?”
Celebrían paid close attention to her mother’s reaction then. “Halbrand.”
It the next ten seconds, Celebrían saw Galadriel go through rage, sadness and desperation at the same time. She didn’t articulate a word, her eyes turning glossy but not a single tear rolled down her cheeks. Whatever that mad had been to Galadriel, the memories associated with him clearly weren’t positive for her. And still, Celebrían wanted to know – needed to know.
“Where did you find him?” Galadriel asked while placing her hand on her daughter’s shoulders.
“Mother, who is he?” Celebrían asked, a little confused. “Just tell me and I–”
“Where, Celebrían?” Galadriel insisted.
Celebrían recognised that side of her mother. There it was again, that same face, that same voice she had when Celebrían asked for the truth. Which truth, she didn’t know. “I will tell you, but–”
“There is no time for that, Celebrían, I must–”
“You must nothing!” Celebrían exploded. “You cannot just leave without telling me nothing like you always do, what are you keeping from me that is so terrible that you do not want me to know? I know there is something, I have always known! Tell me the truth!”
Galadriel then saw it in her daughter’s eyes. That same emerald glow she remembered in Sauron’s eyes whenever he showed his true power. The way Celebrían’s pupils grew thin, how her teeth seemed sharper, the rage in her gaze. It was there, his essence, his power, his darkness. Everything Celebrían had inherited from her father. Galadriel knew it would appear sooner or later.
Worst of all, Galadriel was scared that she would fear her own daughter when it happened. That she would begin to reject her because of what she represented – that she had felt affection for the Dark Lord once. That she had been intimate with him and she had enjoyed it. And yet, Galadriel’s first reaction after Celebrían’s unhinged display was to hug her. Tightly, lovingly, gently.
Galadriel loved Celebrían, and she would always will.
“I will tell you everything,” Galadriel promised. “We both need to sit down first. Hear me on this, Celebrian,” she began, taking her daughter’s hands in hers. “No matter what happens, please remember that I have always loved you and will continue to do so until I die, if I do. What I’m about to tell you might change how you see me and how you see yourself forever.”
“I have never doubted your love for me, mother,” Celebrían assured. “And I’m ready to know.”
╍
Dismounting her horse, Galadriel saw the small village in the distance. “That is where he told you he is staying for now?”
“Hm-hm,” Celebrían nodded. “Do you believe him?”
“I usually do not, but he approached you for a reason,” Galadriel explained, her eyes still on the village. “I can feel him close.”
“Me too,” Celebrían closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. “I think.”
“Celebrían, are you sure you want to face him again?” Galadriel placed a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “You know who he is now and even if he is not as powerful as he used to be, Sauron is no innocent creature. He might try to hurt us.”
“He has already hurt you,” Celebrían looked up at her mother, sympathy in her eyes. “Still, I need more answers than you can give me, mother. I need to know this part of myself.”
“I understand,” Galadriel slowly breathed in and out.
It had taken Celebrían three weeks to process everything Galadriel had told her. She had left Rivendell in a rush and her mother made no attempt to stop her or look for her. Once she was back, Galadriel answered every question she asked, not wanting to keep Celebrían in the dark about her origins anymore. Even if that mean bringing up her affair with Sauron again.
“Mother,” Celebrían then asked in a low voice. “Does Elrond know?”
Galadriel knew that question was coming sooner or later. She had already told her that Celeborn was aware of Celebrían’s origins but loved her regardless, but Celebrían hadn’t brought up Elrond yet. Perhaps because she was too fearful that the one she had fallen for would despise her once he was made aware of who her biological father was. It was a scary thought she couldn’t stand.
“Elrond was the first one I came to when I realised I was expecting,” Galadriel used a reassuring tone. “He will not treat you any differently than he has until now.”
“Good,” Celebrían felt as if a heavy weight had gotten off her chest. “And how did he–”
“Wait,” Galadriel interrupted her. “Do you feel it? In the woods, I can sense him there.”
Without a word, mother and daughter mounted their horses and galloped as fast as they could, leaving the steeds at the entrance and walking inside the woods. It didn’t take much until they found him, leaning against a tree in the form of Halbrand, waiting for them to get to him. There wasn’t surprise in his eyes – Galadriel recognised a very familiar eagerness in them.
“Ah, Celebrían, it has been a while,” Sauron smiled at her fondly as if nothing happened before looking next to her, his gaze full of admiration like he had done so many times in the past. “Galadriel. You’re as beautiful as I remembered you.”
Galadriel scoffed. “Do not act as if you had not been keeping an eye on us during all these years.”
“As soon as I regained enough power to do so,” Sauron admitted. “I’m assuming you told our daughter everything, it was about time you stopped lying to her.”
“You have no right to tell me how should I raise my daughter,” Galadriel narrowed her eyes “We did not come here to hear your reproaches.”
“Then why are you here?” Sauron took a step forward, making both mother and daughter approach their hands to their swords.
“Because I want answers,” Celebrían spoke then. “My mother has told me everything she knows about my origins, but there are many things about myself that only you can teach me how to control. This power– it is because I’m also maia, like you.”
“So you want me to teach you how to control your power just because?” He raised his eyebrows, proud and smug. “How do you feel about that, Galadriel?”
“Do not use my request to torture my mother,” Celebrían stepped forward, shielding Galadriel from him with one of her arms. “You have approached me and gotten to know me for a reason,” she repeated her mother’s words. “If it is not to hurt me, then it is because you want something to do with me, in one way or another. Just tell me what this power is and what it can do.”
Sauron knew his smugness infuriated Galadriel, so he kept that attitude. “Do you really think I would accept just that easily after your mother kept you from me during all these years?”
“Of course not,” Celebrían rolled her eyes. “I knew you would probably reject what I’m asking you, but I had to try.”
“If you want me to help you, you know where to find me,” and with that, Sauron disappeared. “Galadriel.”
Galadriel felt his presence slowly lessening, but her distress was still very much present. No matter what, she assumed Sauron would never be completely out of her life. The only was to be free of his influence would be to kill him. And the truth was that the mere thought of ending his life was equally tempting that it was painful. Like it or not, Sauron was linked to her. Forever.