Chapter Text
Tears weren’t meant for Diesel's kind.
He was an alpha. Born into a powerful family. Rich, influential, admired by everyone – or feared.
And yet, they kept coming. Couldn’t hold them back, couldn’t blink them away.
Alphas don’t cry. Alphas don’t fucking cry.
Frustration took over as he shifted gears and dug his foot into the pedal, the motor screaming under the acceleration. His car was worth way too much to be driven recklessly like that, by a drunk 20 year old, brain fogged up with emotions, not at all possible to even think straight. But it felt irresistibly good, the adrenaline temporarily drowning out the anger – and the tears.
Because alphas didn’t cry. His father had made that clear a long time ago. And Diesel had to make him proud.
He was loud, reckless, aggressive, didn’t care about rules, about feelings. He owned every room he walked into, dominated it with ease, bagged the omega on campus. The perfect trophy to show around, and oh, he did show her around, claimed her in front of everybody, marked her with his fingers around her throat, making sure the print could be seen even days after.
The perfect alpha.
So why was he never enough?
“We're nothing, okay?”
Lukjan’s words still echoed through his mind.
“I've fucked betas more alpha than you.”
They stung. Of course, they did. Not because of love, or heartbreak, no, hell no. They stung because she hit Diesel's darkest secret. His weakest point. Deep inside his soul. Just like that. Then left with the real perfect alpha. Name. That fucking bastard.
As soon as Diesel stepped onto his family’s property, the mask fell. Anger turned into sadness, frustration into self-loathe.
He was never enough. And he never will be. Diesel knew.
And once those clips from tonight's club popped up on his father’s phone, he will, too. His sorry excuse of an alpha son humiliated in public, left for someone better.
Diesel could already feel his father’s hand on his cheek. The slap. The ringing in his ears. The fingers around his arm, digging into his flesh, asserting dominance. As if showing his son how it was done. Just the thought of it made Diesel’s heart speed up, panic spread across his whole body. And self-hatred.
Never enough.
Diesel tried everything. Did his best.
Yet, he was never enough.
And the worst part was, it wasn’t always that way.
He remembered his father as a good man. Supportive, warm and proud. Always showing off his son to the world, the heir to his wealth, his influence. Bringing him to his office, letting him accompany him on business trips around the globe, introducing him to what would one day be Diesel's kingdom. And at home, his mother showered him with love, care and kindness. He had the best childhood anyone could have ever wished for.
Then came the day he presented. And everything turned upside down. Ten years old, earlier than the norm, just a kid. But his life would never be the same.
His mother left. His father stayed. But he had changed.
Innocent eyes stared at his parental figure as all the pride vanished from his face, replaced by disappointment – and anger. And a slap. The very first one.
Tears started welling up, but they only evoked another hit. Harder this time. Leaving Diesel's untouched skin sensitive and red.
“You’re an alpha. And alphas don’t cry.”
Then came the pills. Supplements. Because Diesel was born with a hormone deficiency. His body didn’t do what it was supposed to, didn't produce what Diesel needed in order to be what his father wanted.
No scent. No ruts. No knot. Pheromones uncontrollable, stuck somewhere behind a barrier Diesel couldn’t quite break through.
And his supplements could only help that much. They made him stronger, more confident, let hints of his scent surface. Something indefinably sour. Maybe coffee beans. But he wasn’t sure, had drowned himself in harsh, expensive perfume since forever.
So instead, he masked. Loud, feisty, aggressive. It had always worked. Kind of. Until tonight.
Never enough.
As soon as Diesel opened the door to the mansion his knees buckled. His father and his wife's pheromones overwhelmed him. Strong, heavy, suffocating. Even his stepsister's presence still lingered inside these walls, despite her barely visiting home. Three alphas. Textbook examples. While he was the outcast.
Diesel felt his body weakening, giving up under the pressure, under the unbearably harsh scents surrounding him. He needed his supplements. Immediately.
On unsteady legs he dragged himself upstairs, towards his room. The only place in this house where he could properly breathe, door always locked, making sure nothing seeped through.
And there it was. Put there by the maid, his father’s order. The little white capsule meant to fix his imbalance, refill him with the hormones his weak alpha self lacked. His lifeline.
He took it. Hastily throwing it down his throat, greedily emptying the glass of water standing next to it, waiting for relief to hit him as it always did. His tense muscles relaxing, the fog in his brain leaving, the overwhelming sensations surrounding him numbing down.
But tonight was different. There was no relief. Just awareness. And a realisation.
Why did his father only ever allow him one pill per day? When Diesel so clearly needed more? When he was so clearly lacking alpha hormones? Of course he kept failing. What happened at the club was only proving his point. He wanted another dose. Another pill. Maybe two. Or however many he needed to finally be able to experience what being a functioning alpha would feel like.
It was just supplements, right? Just some extra hormones to fix his broken bodily functions. So why not increase the dose?
He could become the alpha his father always wanted him to be. He would be proud of his son again. Look at Diesel with eyes that told him he mattered. Would stop hitting him, hurting him with his much stronger hands. And maybe his mother would return as well. Would love him again like she used to before she vanished.
He needed another pill.
So he stumbled across the hallway, back downstairs towards the medication cabinet. He had seen the maid retrieving his supplements from there. His slim fingers wrapped around the cold handle and pulled.
Locked.
Fuck.
But he so desperately needed another dose. Now. He felt his body giving up under the pressure, the scents surrounding him too heavy to bear, his whole being starting to shiver and shake – like an addict in withdrawal.
His father surely kept the key somewhere. Or a secret stash of those pills Diesel so helplessly needed right now. Without even thinking, he steered towards the office door. A room he hadn’t entered ever since he presented, his father not allowing him into his spaces anymore.
With trembling hands he typed in the code he once received for being a good boy. For making his father proud. For earning his trust, ready to one day follow his footsteps. Back when he was seen – and loved.
For one terrifying second Diesel didn’t know if he wanted the code to still work or not. Sure, he desperately wished to finally become the perfect alpha son. But at the same time fear of potential consequences swallowed him whole, afraid his father would find out, would punish him for disobeying, would slap him until his tender skin glowed red, finger marks visible on his cheeks.
Then came a familiar chime and the door unlocked.
The drive to campus never got easier. Thee watched the Suvarnabhumi Airport slowly vanish behind him while the busy streets of Bangkok started to consume him whole. Only two more years, he had said to himself, but time didn't work the way it was supposed to. Minutes felt like hours, hours like entire days, and days seemed to never end. Yet, the long ride to his university flew by in just a few seconds. He recognized the large, imposing – and unforgiving – walls immediately. Luxurious, prestigious, the best of the best for Thailand’s most promising heirs. But to him it meant captivity, loneliness, and the sense of not belonging.
It wasn’t the glass and gold nor the silk and velvet that pressured him, caged him in, while simultaneously pushing him away, no. He grew up on marble floors with servants orbiting him at all times. Was very well accustomed to keeping up an immaculate image, exceeding expectations, and radiating off confidence and dominance everywhere he went.
It was the people that came with it.
Thailand’s ruthless heat hit him like a brick wall when the car door was opened for him. The humid air felt suffocating immediately, leaving no room for him to properly breathe. And the eyes, they stared him down as soon as he left the protection of the sleek, black van. His stress level spiked and he felt it right away, his scent patch barely able to hold back the uncontrollable wave of pheromones his body started releasing.
“Oh, look, Arseni’s omega has arrived.”
This whole summer he had spent in Hongkong. At home. With his family, his friends. Had enjoyed every single minute of freedom he had, knowing what was waiting for him once semester break was over. Another year of torture, of being an outcast, of barely understanding the language and being laughed at, made fun of. The whispering and mockery started as soon as he stepped foot inside the dormitory building.
“With his big boy alpha.”
Well, at least he wasn’t alone. His best friend since childhood followed close behind with their two sets of suitcases.
“Khun Thee, should I–” He already let go of the handles, ready to turn around and intervene.
“Don’t, Mok.” It’ll only make things worse.
With a lowered gaze and hands inside his pocket, he resumed his walk towards the elevator, ignoring the sneers and mean comments along the way.
Thee had never felt smaller than when he first arrived at this university two years prior. Why would he? He was an alpha, the Lee’s firstborn, heir to the Arseni empire. His name alone carried the weight of decades long legacy and respect. He didn’t just walk into spaces, he claimed them. With his authority, his confidence – and his charm.
Of course, there were other alphas around him. Rome for example, his younger brother. Or Mok, his best friend. But it never felt like a competition, on the contrary, with their combined power nothing felt impossible, no threat ever seemed too scary to conquer, no problem too big to solve.
Even when they were split up – Rome staying in Hongkong, Thee and Mok being sent to Thailand to expand the Arseni kingdom – Thee thought they could get through it with ease.
A renowned university specifically built for alphas? Heirs to the most influential families in Thailand? Thee fitted right in, and Mok joined as support.
What he didn’t anticipate was being outcast as a foreigner right away, the language barrier making it painfully obvious that he didn’t belong, despite Thai blood flowing through his veins.
And then came the mockery. He didn’t even understand them at first, but that only fueled them more and more. Because all of the sudden, the name he carried didn’t automatically come with respect anymore. When everybody around him was just equally as powerful, his family's influence suddenly blended right in. No more special treatment. Respect had to be earned. And apparently Thee wasn’t very good at that. Had become their target straight away.
“You smell like an omega.”
“What kind of alpha needs a bodyguard?”
“Poor Arseni will go down with this beta heir.”
He had grown accustomed to it, had learned to ignore them. But the words stung – now that he spoke the language more fluently – and they made him question his own identity.
It was true. Mok was sent with him as his bodyguard. He was trained from an early age to protect the Lee family, especially Thee. And he was exceptionally skilled and talented, excelling in every aspect, even in language, acting as Thee’s interpreter for the first year they spent here.
Mok’s pheromones had always been a little stronger than Thee’s, a little harsher, more controlled. But Thee had never felt insecure about his own, had always proudly worn his scent, used it to assert dominance, to show presence. Until now.
Hesitantly, he guided his fingers towards the patch on his neck, eying Mok who currently rolled in their luggage. They had arrived in their shared apartment. Male ward, west side, top floor.
Every student was obligated to live on campus, either a single loft or a shared suite. Money wasn’t a question here. It just came down to preference. But there was more. This wasn’t just a private university reserved for the elite. This wasn’t just a place for alphas to get a college degree. They were shaped here. Into the leaders they were supposed to become. Tight schedules, strict training, rules to be followed, to obey. And the very first and most important one: no suppressants of any kind. Including scent patches. They had to learn how to deal with their hormones, their nature, how to function without chemical help, how to control their pheromones. Because the heirs of the most influential families weren’t allowed to depend on anything. And if they did, they weren’t fit for this life.
“Ready, Khun Thee?”
“Guess so.”
As soon as they ripped the little adhesives off, a wave of relief washed over Thee’s body. The overall numbness, the slight pressure on his glands, his tensed up muscles, all that eased when the blocker was removed. Mok’s natural scent claimed the room instantly. Leather and wine. Thee’s was there, too, just very faint, almost non existent. It hadn’t always been this way. But the people inside these walls made his control – barely existing in the first place – over his own pheromones slip through his fingers.
He closed his eyes – an attempt to concentrate – trying to release some of his fragrance, to smell himself, prove that he was still in fact a strong alpha, worthy of leading Arseni one day. But it didn’t work. At all. Leather and wine still dominating the air between them.
Frustration overcame him, his arms stiffly pressed against his body, hands formed into fists so tight his knuckles turned white.
“Fake alpha.”
The other students’ words burnt themselves into his soul deeper and deeper. And slowly, he started to believe them.
“Khun Thee.”
Thee’s eyes fluttered open.
“We should head towards the main hall.”
Thee nodded. Mok was right. The big assembly started soon, welcoming new and old students, speeches about rules and discipline – and checking attendance. Because missing anything wasn’t allowed.
As they stepped into the hallway, a thick layer of different scents surrounded them right away, one harsher than the other, everybody trying to outdo their neighbour. It didn’t affect Thee, but it annoyed him. The sensory overstimulation hitting him harder than before after a whole summer of wearing patches that numbed his senses, protecting the very few omegas living close by. Including his mother, the most respected woman in the city. She had taught him from a young age that omegas were rare and a gift from heaven, having the admirable ability to create life, meant to be cherished, meant to be protected. And he had sworn to her that if he would ever be blessed with the permission to call an omega his own, he would keep them safe until the end of time.
However, Thee wasn’t lucky enough yet to find any omega, let alone a potential partner. And he would probably not meet one for at least the next two years while being locked inside these walls full of alphas.
That wasn’t an exaggeration.
Once the school year began, leaving campus was strictly forbidden. Only for emergencies did they open the gates. Discipline, or whatever. No distractions.
As the elevator doors opened up to the first floor, an uncomfortably familiar scent hit Thee. The ‘alpha of alphas’ as she called herself. The queen of the female ward and dominating the male ward as well, leader of the 4th year group that made Thee their target from the first day he stepped foot into this school.
Thee braced for another storm of mockery, of laughter, discreetly holding Mok back from jumping them, making everything worse.
But today was different.
The closer he got and the stronger the scent became, the louder the alarm bells inside his head rang.
Something else was in the air.
Something that spiked his protective instincts immediately, soothing pheromones gushing out of him without even realizing, filling the space with peppermint and black tea.
The queen smelled him instantly.
“Our Bubblegum baby has arrived.”
A hateful sneer was plastered across her face when she turned around towards Thee, opening up the ring of alphas currently surrounding a helpless looking student, her hand wrapped around his jaw, holding his head like a trophy she had just earned.
Thee had never seen him before, probably new, first year, fingers digging into the strap of his bag, knees trembling, tears welling up in his eyes.
The sight broke Thee. Another alpha being bullied, becoming a target for no reason other than nasty spite. And again, it was an entire, menacing group ganging up on one person.
“Oh, look, now we have two omegas,” the queen scoffed as Thee approached. “Can big boy Mok take care of both?” She tightened the grip, her victim letting out a quiet whine. “Or should we share this one, girls?”
But before their mean laughter ever had the time to emerge, the whole group stumbled apart, coughing, throwing their hands in front of their faces.
The entire hallway quieted.
It had been a week since Diesel broke into his father’s office. A week of shock, denial and the pressure of his whole world on top of him, falling apart, the ground cutting from under his feet.
He hadn’t dared to step outside ever since, didn't even care about the humiliating clips surfacing or his father slapping him senseless when he found out about the events at the club. Everything felt distant. And numb.
Like his soul had shattered that night. And Diesel was now trying to reassemble the broken pieces that didn’t seem to fit anymore, didn't belong to him anymore.
Another day went by with Diesel just laying in bed, hiding underneath his duvet, staring at the ceiling as if it would give him answers if he just tried long enough. University would start again tomorrow. And Diesel wasn’t ready. It meant he had to see Lukjan again, possibly also Name – and everybody else that witnessed his sorry ass being dumped that night. He barely had time to process one problem, and now the next was already awaiting him.
“Diesel.”
Diesel jerked up immediately, his father’s harsh scent filling his room, making his head spin, his fingers digging into his mattress to contain their shaking.
“Pack your bags.”
“Wh–what–?”
“You heard me.”
“Kh–khap–”
Diesel swallowed, his eyes stung. A wave of suffocating pheromones hit him, forcing him to blink away the tears and obey immediately. Slowly, he crawled off his bed, walking towards his closet.
What were his father’s plans? Did he finally have enough? Was he being kicked out? What if… he found out about Diesel breaking into–
“You're attending class tomorrow.”
“But why–”
Slap.
Diesel quieted instantly, almost dropped the shirt in his hand from the heavy impact.
“When did I teach you to interrupt me?”
His hand wrapped around Diesel's arm, gripping it with such a force, his knuckles turned white. Diesel suppressed a pained moan, forced himself to not accidentally break eye contact.
“I'm sending you to a behavioral school. I can’t fix you any more than I tried, so maybe they can. You’re not stepping foot inside this house again until you're the alpha you're supposed to be.”
Behavioral school… like– for troubled teens? But he was an adult, he–
Then it dawned on him. His face went pale.
Just outside of Bangkok’s perimeters a boarding school interrupted the air with the strongest pheromones in existence. A boot camp meant for alphas. Training them to become the ruthless leaders of the country. Disguised as a private, elite university.
There was no way Diesel would survive this. He could barely breathe inside a mansion that merely housed two alphas. How would he manage an entire dormitory full of hundreds of them?
Them.
Right. Because Diesel wasn’t one of them. Not really. Not at all, actually.
Diesel was an omega. And starting from tomorrow, he was dead.
A week ago he entered his father’s office for the first time in ten years. It felt smaller than he remembered, but all the more suffocating. He stood there for a while, rethinking his decision. But when his mind flashed back to Name's sneer, releasing his dominating, heavy scent, taking Lukjan away from him – Diesel couldn’t resist any longer. He needed his hormones now.
As his eyes scanned the shelves and table, lit only by the faint moonlight through the windows, he noticed a familiar bottle peaking through a drawer that hadn't fully been closed. He had seen it before, every time the maid retrieved his daily supplement pill. Full of ecstasy he unscrewed the lid. White little capsules containing the hormones his body lacked. He could take them. Right now. And fix himself. Make his father proud. Make his mother return. But his gut told him something was off. The label. It seemed different. Unfamiliar. He had a closer look at it to check. Make sure it really was his medication.
Then his blood froze.
Gender shifting suppressants - Batch 3 - Version 9.2
No, this couldn’t be. Surely, these pills weren’t for him. He had accidentally grabbed the wrong bottle. He–
A folder inside the same drawer caught his eye.
Patient A - Danaiphat Sasipattana
Patient…? Was he– sick…?
With trembling fingers he set aside the bottle and opened up the first page.
Test-Subject A
Name: Diesel (Danaiphat Sasipattana)
Date of birth: 20.07.2007
Age of representation: 10
Gender: male omega
Desired gender: male alpha
23.07.2017: Patient reacted strongly to Version 1.0 (Batch 2); treatment discontinued
09.08.2017: Patient experienced slight nausea, scent unmasked; Version 1.2 (Batch 1); treatment discontinued
21.08.2017: Patient reacted well to Version 2.0 (Batch 2);
12.01.2018: no improvement with Version 2.0; treatment discontinued
31.01.2018: Patient reacted strongly to Version 3.4 (Batch 1); treatment discontinued
03.02.2018: Patient reacted well to Version 3.5 (Batch 4);
15.12.2018: no improvement with Version 3.5; treatment discontinued
Diesel didn't read any further. He couldn't. Tears blurred his vision, his hands gripping the folder too shaky to make out a single word.
His life was a lie. He wasn’t born an alpha with a hormone deficit. He was born an omega. And his father had willingly given his son to some – possibly unauthorized – lab to experiment on him. Because he despised omegas. Made sure everybody knew. Made sure Diesel hated them before he even knew what gender meant.
Omegas were weak, dependent, just pretty tokens for alphas to claim, to show off – and to relieve their desires. Just sluts using their bodies to sleep themselves into wealth. Babytrap the first alpha stupid enough to fall for their sweet scent.
Diesel knew the risks of sleeping with an omega as the son of an influential politician. But since Lukjan's family reeked of power as well, he dated her anyway, thinking his father would finally see him as the alpha he was. Able to claim the prettiest omega on campus – no, possibly in the entirety of Bangkok.
“What do you want me to say? Be proud of you? Look at her, Diesel. Look how easy she is.”
Maybe Diesel should have listened to him back then. It could have prevented the situation at the club. And him spiraling. And him finding out that– his father hated his guts. Because the hopes of his loving father someday returning kept him alive. But now he knew it in black and white. His father despised him. And he would never stop until Diesel shed his gender.
The drive to campus felt more torturous than anything else in the world. The farther away Diesel's home got, the more panic overwhelmed him, ate him alive. He could already feel the tears welling up in his eyes, about to roll down his cheeks, still sensitive from his father’s hand.
Alphas don’t cry, he reminded himself, trying to calm his breathing.
Alphas don’t cry. His body started trembling vigorously.
Alphas. Don't. Fucking. Cry.
Slap. His own hand flew across his face with a force that shook the entire backseat row of the car. He had learned from his father that physical pain stopped his tears from flowing.
Not today.
Were omegas allowed to cry? But… he wasn’t–
Or was he? He had presented as an alpha his entire life. So he had to be an alpha, right? How could he suddenly become an omega? He knew… nothing about their kind– his kind…?
And what if the suppl– the suppressants had already worked? Had already started shifting his gender? How would he know? What… was he…?
His grip around the small bag hanging from his shoulder increased. His father had given him a whole stash of pills. Supposed to last for the entire year.
Alpha hormone supplements
But Diesel knew the label lied. Knew what they really were.
“Hide your embarrassing deficiency. Don't you dare ruin my reputation.”
Deficiency, huh? Of course, he lacked alpha hormones. How could his omega body possibly produce those? But maybe it had already shifted. Maybe the suppressants had already worked. It had been over ten years. Surely, they had done something to his nature. Maybe he was an alpha afterall. Just with– extra steps.
But those extra steps broke the school's strict rules. No suppressants. Diesel didn’t know what the punishment would be for breaking it. And he didn’t want to find out. So he had to hide his pills from prying eyes, keep them a secret. Because he still depended on them. Heavily.
Just leaving the protection of his room today almost knocked him out. The stress seeming to wear his medication down more than usual, its effects not as strong as they were supposed to be, his senses not numbed down enough to be able to bear the heavy pheromones in the air.
He had already secretly taken another pill. Just to try it out – now that he had the ability to, not depending on someone else limiting his suppressants to one dose per day. And it… felt good. Too good.
He seemed stronger right away, his confidence returning, his body reacting less to the scents surrounding him, making his muscles relax, the tension in his jaw ease. Maybe this was the way to go. The solution how he could survive a school full of unmasked alpha pheromones.
New hope arose, stopping his tears, taking away the tremor in his limbs.
But Diesel was so helplessly wrong.
Before he even stepped foot on campus, the air around him shifted. Dangerously.
Hundreds of different alpha scents fighting their way through his whole being, trying to claim him, swallow him whole, overwhelming his weak body – built to be an omega.
Clinging to his suitcase like it was his lifeline, he entered the dormitory. Had to hurry, was already late. The big assembly everybody was supposed to attend would start soon, yet he had barely arrived.
But as soon as he opened the door, his knees gave up, had to catch himself on the wall to not fall over. His eyes stung, his head started spinning, his stress level spiking. The dull pressure on his neck suddenly more noticeable than ever before.
This was too much. Entirely too much. How could he possibly– he needed another pill. Immediately. Or else he wouldn’t survive. Would suffocate inside these walls. Hundreds of alphas’ scents hitting him harder than his father’s hands ever did, knocking the air out of his lungs. Metaphorically, and physically too.
“What do we have here?”
Diesel could smell her before he even heard the mocking voice behind him, her pheromones too strong for him to handle, his body heating up, his fingers trembling even more than before, digging into the strap of his bag, in the hopes no one would see them shaking.
“Why so nervous?”
She grabbed Diesel to spin him around, her grip as strong as his father’s, forcing him into submission straight away. Not one alpha. A whole group of them. Diesel's breath caught, his heart couldn’t decide between beating out of his chest or stopping completely. He felt helplessly out of control.
On his old campus he was one of a few alphas. With his father’s influence etched into his name, Diesel only had to be confident and loud to claim the space he walked into, earn respect – and mask his scentless self, play the perfect alpha son despite his deficiency.
But here, he couldn’t even properly breathe, his suppressants wearing down every consecutive second he had to withstand the thick waves of heavy pheromones – one harsher than the other – entering his body, messing with his chemicals, stirring up his insides. So how could he possibly find the energy to… pretend…? Not to mention that his usual way of masking wouldn’t work for shit when he was surrounded by – real alphas, none of them lacking the power nor wealth his old classmates did.
“Don’t be shy, show us your scent, pretty boy.”
A sneer as she ungently grabbed his face and forced him to look up at her.
“Or do you need a little help, huh?”
Her dominating pheromones became even stronger, burning themselves into Diesel's soul, his body desperately looking for a way to break through the barrier that kept him from releasing his own – luckily unsuccessful or he might have been eaten alive – the stress she was causing putting even more pressure on the sensitive spot behind his neck.
His breathing shallowed.
“Didn’t know scentless alphas existed.”
His eyes unfocused.
He was so done for.
Squeezed them shut…
“Or are you–”
… and waited for his secret to unfold right then and there.
How could he ever think he would survive this school? How could he ever believe he was an alpha? A real one. The medication barely strong enough to keep him on his feet. How could it possibly shift gender?
But right at the cusp of breaking, falling apart, giving up, something else entered his body. Fought with the pheromones so strong it would have already brought him to his knees if not for the fact that the owner herself was forcing him to stay up right with her hand digging into his jaw.
“Our Bubblegum baby has arrived.”
Diesel's stress level decreased, the tension in his muscles eased.
Then he smelled it.
Peppermint. And black tea.
Strong, but not harsh. Present, but not overwhelming. Dominant – but somehow gentle enough to soothe him.
Unlike everything else currently surrounding him.
“Oh, look, now we have two omegas.”
Fuck, how did she– two?
Diesel's eyes fluttered open.
There’s another omega? How can there–
“Can big boy Mok take care of both?”
Who is–
“Ngh—” Diesel accidentally moaned out loud in pain, when the grip around his face tightened unbearably harsh.
“Or should we share this one, girls?”
Share.
Diesel's heart stopped.
She knew. She fucking knew. He was so obviously out of place that she noticed instantly. Noticed he was a helpless omega. Surrounded by a bunch of alphas. She knew.
Share…
This was what his father had warned him about.
Omegas were sluts. Giving up their bodies for the first alpha they see. Like the worthless objects of desire they were. And Diesel was one of them. Feeling his heart beat faster, his temperatures rise. Was this it…? Was this him offering himself to them on a silver plate…? Was this really his nature? His father was right. Omegas were so easy– he was so easy… Horrifying images played out inside his head.
Fuck, they will–
Peppermint and black tea. Suddenly stronger than before – much stronger. But not in the way the other pheromones made Diesel’s knees feel weak, suffocated him with no way out, no.
Soft and calming, stopping his mind from spiraling immediately, made his brain feel fuzzy and numb – in a weirdly good way. His eyes hazy, pupils dilated, cheeks flushed, lips slightly parted. He didn't even realize the group of alphas hastily scrambling away from him, could only focus on the scent cradling his mind, temporarily drowning out every bit of worry and stress that had occupied his whole being just a second ago. On the scent and on its owner.
Diesel's glazed over eyes watched him approach. Not an omega. Definitely not. Subtle details but Diesel noticed them anyway. The way he walked, the way confidence radiated off of him, the way he effortlessly claimed the space around him. He was an alpha through and through. And Diesel knew. Because he himself had studied other alphas’ mannerisms his whole life, to mimic them, blend in, mask his hormone deficiency.
A hand landed on his shoulder.
He flinched.
His body tensed up.
Knew it from his father too well.
He was going to grab Diesel. Dig his fingers into his flesh until he bruised. Assert his dominance over him. Make him submit. Obey.
Diesel held his breath, waiting for the pain to come.
But instead, a gentle squeeze. And a warm smile.
“Are you okay?”
His voice was deep and low, but not overpowering, instead gently vibrating through Diesel's bones, shaking the tension in his muscles loose.
Diesel stared. Swallowed.
Never had an alpha looked at him so caring – and tender. Not even his father back when he used to love his son.
“This yours?”
He picked up Diesel's suitcase that must have fallen to the ground when the group of alphas surrounded him.
Where are they?
“Y–yes–”
“Khun Thee!”
Leather and wine mixed with the peppermint and black tea. Like they belonged together. But the additional scent made Diesel’s head spin again. Subconsciously, he scooted closer to the man in front of him, secretly craving for more of the pheromones that seemed to ease his stress, drown out his surroundings.
“Everything okay, boss?”
“Mok, don’t worry, just helping.”
Khun Thee. And Mok.
And a slight accent that sparked Diesel's interest.
“The assembly, we have to–”
“Right, right…” Khun Thee shifted his focus back to Diesel again. “Is your room far?”
“I'm– not sure,” Diesel mumbled, slightly distracted, brain still occupied by peppermint and black tea while pulling out a crumpled up piece of paper from his pocket.
Khun Thee leaned in to have a look, freezing Diesel in place, nervosity spread through him. He wasn’t used to alphas willingly being so close to him – except for his father. And whenever he invaded Diesel's space, it never ended up well for Diesel.
“Ah, not too far, just– high up.” Khun Thee grabbed the suitcase and steered towards the elevator. “Mok, go save us a spot.”
“Khap, boss.”
Diesel stared for another few seconds – processing the situation – before stumbling after him. His scent had softened, but it was still there, gently wrapping itself around Diesel like an attempt to protect him from all the other smells trying to devour his unstable self.
“You’re a first year?”
“Uh–”
Diesel had to collect himself, still a bit dizzy from the overstimulation, glad peppermint and black tea was currently grounding him, helping him stay on his feet.
Diesel was actually a second year, had already finished his first at his old university. But his father had forced him to repeat it, so he would have as much time as possible to get fixed. And there was a whole lot to fix.
“Yes, first year political science, and– you… Khun?”
“Ah, politician's son? I'm in business administration, third year.”
Diesel bit his lip, nodded slowly. Did Khun Thee not know who he was–?
“Phi is fine by the way.” Thee smiled. “I asked Mok to drop the Khun many times but he won’t listen.”
“Is he your assis–”
“My best friend, yes. And– what can I call you?”
Thee really didn’t know who he was. Diesel thought the entire city did. And if it didn’t before, after his nightclub video went viral, his face was definitely engraved into everybody's mind as the despicable alpha being publicly humiliated by an omega.
“Diesel–”
The elevator door opened to the top floor with a soft ding. Too soft for something that would hit Diesel like an entire truck full of pheromones his body didn’t know how to handle. Not as bad as when he had entered the building downstairs, but ultimately worse because he felt the effects of his suppressants fading into thin air – or thick, suffocating, scent filled air in this case.
His muscles stiffened immediately, trying to keep him up right while his whole being was flooded with hormones it wasn’t ready to take. His hands became sweaty, his head even dizzier than before, his legs again about to give up. Felt the heat rise into his cheeks, and the sensitive spot on his neck pulsing, like it was screaming for help – no – his entire body was screaming for help.
But before he could succumb to his environment, overstimulation pulling him to his knees, peppermint and black tea gently encased him, draping him in a protective blanket of comfort and warmth. Diesel gasped for air immediately, greedily inhaling the scent that let him breathe inside these walls, his stress easing instantly as relief spread across his chest.
“It's– a lot, right?” Thee gestured him to step out of the elevator with a reassuring smile before following him with the suitcase. “Don’t worry, you'll get used to it.”
Hopefully…
It was only his first day – that had barely even started – yet he already couldn’t take it anymore. How was he supposed to survive four more years of this torture? Thee's magic made it slightly more endurable, but he couldn't stay by his side all the time, could he? He needed his pills. Right. Now.
Hastily, he scanned the hallways, looking for the way to his room, before stumbling towards the west side on unsteady legs as fast as he could until the door displaying his number appeared in front of him. With trembling fingers he typed in the code he was given.
“Here, I'll wait outside.” Thee rolled the suitcase over towards Diesel. “But– hurry, only five minutes left.”
“Kh–ap, Phi–”
Despite his own miserable state, Diesel couldn't help but notice the tension in Thee's jaw and the slight hint of restraint in his voice. So maybe… maybe these different scents flooding the building were also wearing alphas down? Would that mean Diesel could still be one?
As soon as the door shut with a soft click, he rummaged through his bag.
Alpha hormone supplements
What if these really were just supplements, not– suppressants…? A father would never… do that to his own son, right?
Diesel stared at the little capsule in his hand. It would be his second one today. Or his third?
It would be fine, he would just skip his dose tomorrow, to balance it out. Because if he didn’t take an extra one today, he might break.
And maybe Thee was right, maybe after a few days Diesel would get used to the pheromones polluting the hallways. Maybe– maybe being around real alphas could make his body adapt. It might help with his own hormonal deficit. Because he was an alpha, right? Just with– extra steps…
Extra steps…
Yes, this was definitely necessary.
He popped the pill into his mouth and washed it down with some water.
His body instantly felt lighter, like the weights that had been dragging him down were finally lifted, every sensation around him blurred, faded into the distance. He took a deep breath, let air freely flow into his lungs, the pressure on his neck easing, his body cooling down.
Even when he left his apartment again, stepped back outside, the hallway that just a minute ago felt like hell on earth now seemed manageable.
The scents were still there, but less suffocating, less invasive – even the peppermint and black tea didn’t quite reach Diesel anymore.
He felt at ease.
Not fully, but enough to get through the rest of the day – or at least survive the assembly.
Thee noticed the shift instantly, although he couldn’t quite put his finger on what caused it. Maybe it was the faint smile tugging at Diesel's lips when he stepped out of his room, or the trail of fresh, expensive perfume following him.
“Let's hurry,” he had said.
And he was right. There wasn’t enough time for Thee to puzzle over the sudden change in atmosphere. At least his body stopped releasing his pheromones like crazy.
The entire way here Thee had tried to gain control over them, contain them. Had noticed Diesel gasping for air, Thee’s scent probably just adding to the already irritable amount of smells in the hallway. But no matter how hard he tensed his muscles and attempted to hold himself back, pheromones just gushed out of him like his life depended on it – even worse, it only became more and more. So instead, he increased the distance between Diesel and himself.
I need to pull myself together…
And Diesel almost running towards his apartment door, practically fleeing from Thee's scent, only reminded Thee that it was about time he learned how to control his pheromones.
Mok and even his younger brother had already acquired that skill long ago, so why was he still not able to? It had been twelve years since he first presented – just a few weeks after his eleventh birthday, earlier than many – yet he was so incredibly behind in using his body to its full potential.
Maybe because for his entire life he didn’t have to worry about a single thing. His charm let him socialize effortlessly, respect came with his family's name – his instincts did the rest, releasing his pheromones according to the situation. Thee was sure he was slowly learning how to control them, was at the verge of his big breakthrough. Then the bullying started. And his body began hiding its functions, its scent.
His father enrolled him at this university to shape him into the leader he would soon become. Head of Arseni in Thailand. Instead, it made him question his whole identity. Scent too soft, weak pheromones running loose, not even being able to defend himself, needing Mok by his side for every step he took.
But today was different. For the first time in years he felt confidence surging through his whole being again. Peppermint and black tea dominating the entire space as his body started releasing pheromones so strong, the entire group of alphas surrounding Diesel – even the queen herself – fell apart. The hallway cleared in seconds, students fleeing from the sudden spike in scent.
It had almost no impact on Mok, of course not, he had been beside Thee his whole life. But Diesel didn’t seem affected either. Was he just an exceptionally strong alpha?
Either way the situation had shown Thee that he was in fact worthy of being a leader, his authority capable of being unmatched. If only he could control his pheromones, use the gift his gender brought with it. To assert dominance. And to take care of the people around him. Especially if he would one day be lucky enough to win over an omega’s heart.
And since something about Diesel urged Thee’s body to produce the strongest pheromones he had ever felt himself releasing, he should stay by his side. Maybe Diesel was his key to finally learning the skill he had been lacking for so long.