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Nick Wilde wasn’t slow. I mean, spending too many years in questionable conditions surrounded by questionable mammals at questionable moments made you sharp, made you someone capable of reading the room, of reading people.
Of reading yourself.
So no. Nick Wilde wasn’t slow at all. He realized his reckless feelings for Judy far too quickly. Much faster than he would’ve liked. Of course, he had his period of denial, his period of absolute and complete rejection.
“How could he fall in love with a prey animal? How could he fall in love with a BUNNY?”
It was an absolute and complete no.
It was an absolute and complete “of course you are, IDIOT.”
Anyway. He knew far too quickly.
It was humiliating, to say the least. It was like being dragged and rolled over by a wave in the ocean when you’re learning how to swim. Like the first day at school when you’re the new kid and the year is already halfway over. Like leaving your mother’s house because you’ve broken her heart too many times to keep looking her in the eye.
That’s what it was like: uncomfortable, humiliating, horrible, and so overwhelming that he spent nights unable to think about anything except those eyes looking at him, bright, full of hope and expectations he doubted he could ever live up to.
He only waited for the moment he’d finally see shame and disappointment in Judy’s eyes the day he inevitably let her down.
...
Judy has a date.
Nick Wilde has a date with a six-pack of beer and the backseat of Finnick’s car.
Finnick laughs at him the entire time while Nick limits himself to a single beer because he simply can’t disconnect from the world right now, not when Judy could call him at any moment.
“You’re pathetic, Wilde.”
Finnick’s voice might as well have been the echo of Nick’s own thoughts, so he doesn’t answer and lets the alcohol settle into his system, at least a little.
But Judy calls.
If he was being completely honest with himself, he doubted she would call him, but he’d still been praying she would. And when he arrives and finds the most beautiful mammal in the world soaked and crying, Nick Wilde knows he’s about to commit a felony.
But then she throws herself into his arms, her little arms barely able to wrap around him, so short, and she’s so small.
How dare anyone hurt her?
Nick has to force himself to breathe, to calm down. He can’t lose control. She doesn’t need a testosterone-fueled male mammal screaming and marking territory; she needs comfort, she needs her friend Nick Wilde: calm, easygoing, carefree.
So he forces himself to swallow his anger, cracks a joke, and takes her back to his den, to his coffee-stained recliner in front of his stolen 85-inch TV, right beside him.
Where she belongs.
...
When that idiot hare’s car got buried under parking tickets, Nick ignored Clawhauser’s teasing as he watched him come back from his shift wearing that ridiculous orange vest and pushing that horrible little cart he once used to mock Judy with and that had now become his own self-imposed punishment.
Anyway. Karma’s a bitch.
...
Nick liked John... well, no, not really, but he wasn’t the worst guy Judy had dated.
I mean... he showered, and he was tolerant enough not only to not stand her up on their first date, but also to agree to lunch with her and her best friend.
Him, obviously.
Judy had been really excited to introduce John to him, and Nick had been desperately trying to pretend he was excited too, or well, minimally interested.
Moderately happy for her?
He forced himself to smile while she talked about the place they could all go eat together, and Nick could only stare at those bright violet eyes laughing and smiling at him while she enthusiastically talked about a male that wasn’t him.
Anyway. Nick arrived fashionably late because he wanted to look cool and not because he had seriously considered turning around and driving in the opposite direction. Eventually he realized that if there was one thing he could never do, it was turn his back on Judy, so he drove the whole damn way to the pizzeria, shook that stupid hare’s hand, and acted exactly as nice as a best friend was supposed to.
And he was painfully nice throughout their entire short relationship. Whenever he texted Judy knowing she’d be with him, he only did it for truly important emergencies, like discussing the costumes they’d wear for Halloween, because, obviously...
Things that actually mattered.
When their relationship ended less than a month later, Nick wasn’t happy at all, much less relieved. He just felt his heart start beating properly again when their movie nights returned to normal, with no male mammal around to share Judy’s time.
Unfortunately, that didn’t last very long…
...
Nick was sure Zootopia was a city mostly free of rabbits, so how the hell were there suddenly so many of them?
Okay, maybe Lucas wasn’t technically a rabbit, he was a hare or whatever... what was the damn difference anyway?
Anyway... yeah, a hare. A charismatic barista.
And yes, Nick actually liked Lucas. He had a sense of humor similar to his own, understood his jokes, and didn’t get scandalized by comments about his species. He also didn’t seem afraid of him like most small prey animals, male or female.
But of course, he had to look in Judy’s direction and, like any male with even the slightest bit of good taste, he was instantly smitten. She smiled with those bright violet eyes full of energy and dreams, and Lucas was at her feet within seconds.
For one brief moment Nick considered simply taking Judy’s hand and disappearing somewhere very, very far away. No hares... no rabbits, no males, no one else except the two of them growing old and losing their minds together.
It was nice to dream.
...
Lucas was the worst of all of them, but it took Nick a while to notice because, let’s be honest, all of them annoyed him without exception. It was easy to find flaws in them: too short, too uptight, too quiet, too conservative, too shy, too... floppy-eared?
They were never enough, not for his Judy, but Lucas... Lucas was genuinely garbage with legs.
But Judy was excited and Nick didn’t have the heart to break hers, so he limited himself to doing what he always did.
Taking care of her as her best friend.
So when she told him she was going to Lucas’s graduation and that his university was predator-free, he was a good friend, an excellent friend, and supported Judy going without him to support her new boyfriend. The press conference was still fresh in Judy’s mind and she wouldn’t have gone somewhere like that without Nick’s explicit approval. He knew that. He knew that if he told her not to go, she wouldn’t.
So he told her to go.
Nick followed them quietly outside the university and waited until he was sure she hadn’t been lured into some weird anti-predator cult and finally walked back out safe and sound.
Back to him.
She visited him as soon as she got back and he pretended he’d spent the entire day watching TV while shamelessly arriving home only minutes apart from her. She changed into her pajamas and he made popcorn for them, and she sat beside him. They watched trashy TV shows while he wrapped his arms around her until she fell asleep.
Nick wondered if that would be his fate, watching her from a distance for the rest of their lives. If he was honest, he didn’t dare wish for much more. He knew none of those hares deserved her, but he knew even better that he didn’t deserve her either.
He was a male who had been unemployed and working outside the law for twenty years, with no family, no assets, no credit history for God’s sake. He lived underneath an elephant gym and the only decent job he’d ever managed to get was thanks to the precious treasure snoring softly against his chest.
“Pfff...”
Well, maybe not that softly.
He couldn’t help laughing as she snuggled closer against him before drifting back into Morpheus’ arms.
If he was honest, he could live like this, live on the sidelines as long as at the end of the day Judy always came back to him.
Straight into his arms.
He didn’t dare hope for anything more.
...
Nick wasn’t the kind of mammal who got angry easily. I mean, sure, he got angry, far more often than he ever let others see, but under his philosophy of never letting anyone know they’d hurt him, showing fury, rage, any of that, simply wasn’t who he was. If another mammal saw you upset, it was an easy way of telling them exactly what hurt you and how they could use it against you.
Dangerous. Definitely dangerous.
So Nick never looked angry, never showed rage.
Which is why it was so unlike him when, during that press conference, he simply... lost it.
Not completely. If he was being honest, he was more hurt than angry, but he had definitely set the mask aside and left his wounds exposed in front of a bunny he’d only known for forty-eight hours.
Quite an achievement.
But when Judy showed up at his apartment that day, he immediately knew something had happened.
Something bad.
She didn’t tell him anything about it, but her paws trembled slightly when she took the coffee he handed her, and she laughed way too hard at a Singles Inferno joke that hadn’t been funny at all.
She looked like she was trying to follow his example.
“Don’t let them see they managed to hurt you.”
But to follow that principle, you first had to have been hurt.
Hurt?
Had Judy been hurt?
I mean, Judy was a strong bunny. Nick had no doubt Judy could beat him in a hand-to-hand fight, even if only because he wouldn’t try that hard, but even if he did, Judy could absolutely defend herself against some random rabbit.
Or hare.
Whatever. He still didn’t fully understand the difference.
She wasn’t physically hurt, that much was obvious, but something had happened, and if Judy had been hurt in any way whatsoever, Nick wasn’t about to pretend he was okay with that.
But he was cautious, cautious enough to gently pull himself away from the sleeping bunny and pick up his phone.
“Hey, Rick! How’s it going, buddy? How are things at the warehouse?”
“Go fuck yourself, Wilde.”
“Always great talking to you too. Anyway, remember that favor you owed me?”
“You owe me a favor, Nick!”
“Oh, really? Fantastic. Then ask me for two favors later and do something for me right now, alright?”
“...What do you want?”
Nick glanced at the small sleeping figure curled up on his couch before speaking back into the phone.
“You guys still have that cockroach farm?”
...
Nick made sure he was the one who went to the café when the health department order landed in his hands.
Lucas was sitting behind the counter waiting for the first customers of the week to arrive.
They wouldn’t.
Not if Nick had anything to do with it.
He personally handed over the closure notice and enjoyed every second of the emotions crossing the hare-rabbit’s face.
He even cried.
It was wonderful.
...
Stu Hopps was trying to get rid of him.
Not in a completely literal or aggressive sense. I mean, he got along well with Judy’s family. Of course, with almost three hundred siblings, it was only natural that at least one of them wouldn’t like him, but aside from Judy’s two grandfathers, he got along with most of the litters. Still, that didn’t mean they wanted—or even considered—the possibility of Judy and him becoming something more. They undoubtedly knew the two of them were important to each other, but Nick was certain Judy’s parents tried not to think too deeply about it.
So they kept trying to find Judy a new boyfriend, some decent hardworking rabbit who could maybe... someday guide their little daughter back onto the right path. You know, the path of carrots and litters.
Definitely not a path that included a diabolical orange fox like her grandfather had once called him.
So when Stu introduced Judy to another rabbit (and this time Nick was absolutely sure this one was a rabbit), Stu somehow managed to drag Nick away from Judy long enough for the new rabbit to make his move.
It was a strange relief when, after spending nearly two hours loading hay onto a tractor, Nick collapsed onto the porch trying not to feel as pathetic and exhausted as he actually did, and Judy came outside shortly after just to sit beside him. She rested her head on his shoulder and joked that the two of them acted like they’d been married for years.
Nick ignored the sensation of swallowing a burning nail and answered as naturally as he could.
“I guess you’re right, Carrots. You can save yourself the trouble of dating. At this point we could probably celebrate our silver anniversary.”
What a fantasy it would be if she simply listened to him.
It didn’t matter if she could never see him as anything more than a friend, he’d settle for being the only one in her life. She didn’t really need to get married anyway. Marriage benefits at work? He could give her those. Someone to take out on Valentine’s Day? He could spoil her. A partner for her sisters’ weddings? He could take care of that too.
And if she wanted to experience the more... intimate aspects of marriage, he could give her that too.
He would give her everything.
No conditions. No reservations.
So why did she need a damn rabbit?
Anyway...
He comforted himself with the fact that she was there beside him.
Judy always came back to him, but he wondered if the day would come when she’d stop doing that.
...
Vincent was a good mammal.
He was kind, polite to Judy, and even actively tried to get along with Nick—not just the bare minimum either, he genuinely wanted to be friends with him. Somehow he got Nick’s number (probably from Judy) and started sending him NBA videos after discovering Nick was a fan.
Nick had wished a thousand times that Vincent would turn out to be an asshole like every other pathetic boyfriend Judy had introduced him to, but on the other hand, he didn’t want Judy suffering because of an idiot.
She already had him for that.
So he was happy for her while slowly breaking apart inside...
But happy for her.
Who was he kidding?
He was about two seconds away from dunking his head in bleach and counting to a thousand.
So when Judy told him she’d be staying at Vincent’s place for several days, Nick felt like he was about to go bald from stress right then and there.
She was going to stay with him.
She was going to stay alone in his house while his family was out of town.
Alone.
Her and him.
Nick was grateful his fur hid how green he was turning while his stomach twisted violently.
Even forcing an easy smile was anything but easy.
He didn’t know why he stepped closer to her in the first place, he only knew he wanted to invade her space somehow, wanted...
Wanted her to think about him for even one second.
And she, bless her soul, didn’t take a single step back, as if she knew with absolute certainty he would never hurt her.
But she definitely noticed something was wrong. He saw her grip the yellow fabric of her shirt a little tighter while tilting her head back to look him in the eye.
She asked him what it meant that Vincent had invited her to stay at his house alone for a week.
Was she really that naive?
Because if she was, then karma could punish him all it wanted, but he was not going to let her walk willingly into the wolf’s den...
Or rabbit’s den.
“It means the bunny’s hoping to get lucky,” he answered.
“Lucky?” Judy repeated, confused.
God.
She was going to be the death of him.
“Oh, come on, Carrots. I know you’re slow, but not that slow.”
The moment her ears turned red, he knew she’d understood.
“Inviting me on vacation doesn’t mean he wants... that.”
His sweet, innocent Carrots.
She could uncover the hidden side of a psychopathic sheep, but she still couldn’t see the danger in males.
In him.
“You’re adorable when you blush, Judy.”
She was, and his body physically ached from not being able to touch her, pull her just a little closer.
Smell her.
“Don’t call me adorable!” she protested. “Besides, I’ve spent entire weeks with you and that doesn’t mean anything.”
Nick smiled.
If he was completely honest, he’d been tempted simply from having her asleep in his arms. Beautiful. Trusting. Completely at his mercy inside his den.
But he’d cut off his own tail with a spoon before he ever allowed himself to make her uncomfortable in any way.
Well... aside from his usual teasing. But even he knew when to stop.
So he stepped back and gave her space.
“That’s because I’m a gentleman. Though I always lock the bathroom door, just in case. You know what they say about bunnies.”
Judy shot him a murderous glare.
“As if you’d ever get that lucky.”
That was true.
Nick wasn’t lucky. He’d spent the good fortune of several lifetimes the moment he met her.
...
“You look pathetic, Wilde.”
“Thanks, Nibbles.”
“You seriously not drinking anything?”
Nick didn’t answer, only brought the mineral water to his mouth.
“He’s not drinking because he’s scared his bunny might need him and he won’t be able to drive,” Finnick, satisfyingly drunk unlike Nick, answered for him.
The beaver, who didn’t need alcohol to be blunt and weird, spoke first.
“Nick, buddy, Judy’s not gonna call. She’s miles away with that rabbit making little bunnies, buddy.”
She gestured for the wolf bartender to come closer.
“Get my friend something for his broken heart.”
“I’m not drinking alcohol,” Nick answered for the second time that night, dismissing the gray wolf holding a crystal glass and a partially clean rag.
The wolf seemed entertained by the exchange because he didn’t leave.
“If this was bothering you so much, you should’ve stopped her,” the beaver said before accidentally swallowing an ice cube and coughing violently.
Nick smiled while the beaver choked.
Thanks, karma.
“Wilde’s convinced he’ll get rejected,” Finnick answered for him.
“I’m still here, in case you forgot.”
“How could we forget, buddy? You reek of friendzone from miles away,” the wolf replied.
Great. Another mammal in this bar with opinions about his nonexistent and painfully one-sided love life.
Nick let his head fall against the counter. Anyone looking at him would’ve assumed alcohol had finally gotten to him, but with nothing except water in his system, all he could feel was the wave of frustration and unrequited love twisting violently in his stomach.
That rabbit was going to touch her.
That rabbit was going to—
Shit.
“You know what? Yeah, give me something. Something strong, damn it.”
He needed those images out of his head before he did something insane.
“You’re pathetic, Wilde,” Finnick said again, this time patting him mockingly on the back.
“I know,” Nick answered.
...
He got home around midnight and wasn’t even actually drunk.
Stupid watered-down drinks from the newer generations.
He took a cold shower only because his apartment genuinely didn’t have hot water and crawled into bed.
He wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep when his phone finally rang.
His phone!
“Nick...” it was her... it was her and she was...
Was she crying?
In an instant Nick was fully awake as adrenaline and a sudden spike of cortisol wiped away every trace of his earlier exhaustion.
“Where are you? I’m coming to get you.”
“No. I’m okay. I just... needed to hear your voice.”
But Nick barely paid attention because he was already getting dressed while sending Finnick a message with the speakerphone on.
“It’s just... well... I was with Vincent and I realized something...” she took a deep breath. “I realized that...”
At that exact moment Finnick replied.
“Go fuck yourself, Wilde.”
“Is that a yes?”
“It’s three in the morning. You owe me big time, asshole.”
Then Finnick sent him the rental car information.
“Send me your location.”
“What? But there aren’t any trains running this late and—”
He hung up.
If she wasn’t going to send him her location, he’d get it his own way.
He was fully prepared to hack into the ZPD if necessary when she finally texted him the address.
Good.
Excellent.
Finnick dropped the car off at his apartment surprisingly fast, which meant two things: first, the fox clearly hadn’t actually been asleep, which probably meant he’d tried his luck with some vixen after the bar, and second, that somewhere deep down, hidden beneath layers of cynicism and bad decisions, the little fox also cared about his bunny partner, at least because Nick cared about her.
After all, neither of them were saints, and a crying female hiding in the bathroom of a male’s house in the middle of nowhere could lead to an endless number of scenarios and none of them were good.
“I better get at least a hundred bucks in my wedding invitation, Wilde.”
“Just shut up,” Nick replied while taking the keys.
Three and a half hours later, after driving nonstop with a full tank, Nick arrived at the idiot’s house, but before he could storm inside and throw himself at the rabbit, Judy came running out first and launched herself at him.
She was okay.
Okay.
She was okay.
At least physically, which was progress... right?
When the rabbit stepped outside shortly afterward, slightly downcast but still smiling while carrying Judy’s suitcase, Nick managed to calm down at least a little.
The rabbit didn’t look guilty or like he was hiding guilt, and Judy didn’t seem afraid of him.
Good. That was good.
Honestly, Nick didn’t understand a damn thing, but the rabbit thanked him for some bizarre reason anyway.
Whatever.
Nick took his girl’s hand and got her out of there.
And the ritual was exactly the same. He brought Judy to his couch, wrapped her in his blanket, made sure she was surrounded by his scent and only his scent. He fed her, tucked her in, and then made sure she slept.
And for a couple of days neither of them talked about what had happened. Nick didn’t ask because she didn’t seem ready to talk, but she had called him.
Again she had called him.
Again she had come back to him.
And that was everything Nick could possibly ask for.
Maybe if he managed to help Judy avoid family gatherings and convinced her mother to stop arranging blind dates and put a bag over Judy’s head every time she crossed paths with a rabbit-hare and spread rumors across all of Zootopia that Judy had mange then maybe...
Maybe he could keep her forever.
Right?
Anyway, Nick also needed sleep.
...
It was one of those mornings when Judy finally approached him to talk. Nick was burning breakfast again and was already preparing himself to order Zoober.
“Do you want the burnt part of the meat or the completely pulverized part?” he asked when she sat on the counter.
“The burnt part, please.”
But then her little eyes filled with tears and Nick wished he could smack himself with the frying pan because she started crying.
He set the pan down on the cold stove and walked over to her, helping her down from the stool that was too tall so he could look at her properly.
“We can order takeout like always. I just wanted to try something new.”
“I really am a slow, clumsy bunny, huh?” she said while wiping at her face and speaking between hiccuping breaths. If he weren’t so worried he’d think she looked unbelievably adorable. “I’ve been searching for something I already had.”
Nick stopped all his desperate, pathetic attempts at comforting her the moment he heard that.
“It was always you… my home.”
She… what had she just said?
Nick felt as though his heartbeat slowed down only to start pounding twice as fast a second later.
“Judy…”
She, she… his body moved before his mind did, pulling her against him, safe, warm, right at his side, and she had just said… she had said he was her home.
Nick thought he might cry with her right then and there. It didn’t matter what she meant by it. He was her home, the place she would always come back to no matter what happened. Nick felt the dam inside him finally break apart, emotions trapped behind filthy old brick walls collapsing all at once until there was nothing left except dust and recklessness.
“I’ve been slowly losing my mind these past few months,” he admitted without letting her go, “thinking about those male rabbits putting their paws on you. When you went away with Vincent I thought I was going to rip my own tail off.”
“I’m sorry. Sometimes I’m just a slow little bunny.”
She laughed and the sound was comforting, sweet, familiar. Nick could listen to it all damn day. His terrible jokes usually annoyed her more than they made her laugh, but when they worked—when he worked—it felt glorious.
“You definitely are,” he said, earning himself a weak little hit from her that lacked force only because he refused to let her pull away enough to gain momentum. “But I can also be a stupid fox. A cowardly one. Because I didn’t have the courage to stop you even when it was burning me alive.”
“I love you, Nick Wilde. You’re my home. I don’t need to look for another one.”
She… she what?
Nick loosened his hold on her just enough to look at her face.
She loved him.
Did she really love him?
But she loved him as her fox partner, right? Oh… her eyes were shining. She looked so emotional, so relieved.
Nick was pretty sure he was the one crying now.
The storm of thoughts inside his head stopped the moment she stood on her tiptoes and pulled him down toward her.
She leaned in… oh, she was going to kiss him.
She was going to kiss him.
Kiss her back, idiot.
He didn’t let her reach him first. He caught her halfway and kissed her so hard she had to tilt her head back just to handle his weight.
She didn’t seem uncomfortable or frightened by his larger mouth or sharper fangs.
She melted into it instead, relaxing in his arms and—
She had chosen him.
She was kissing him and she had chosen him.
She…
She was his. His home, his pack, his family, his.
When she tried to pull away, he dragged her back in and kissed her again with desperation, with frantic reassurance, waiting for her to react, to shove him away, to tell him this had all been some terrible misunderstanding.
She didn’t.
She let him kiss her as much as he wanted.
Shit.
She sighed… nearly whimpered when his larger tongue slipped into her smaller mouth.
And she was okay with it.
With him.
She loved him.
“I love you too, Judy. I always have,” he finally answered once his lungs could no longer survive without oxygen.
The words left him breathless, disbelieving.
He waited until she took two full breaths before pulling her against him again.
Just to be absolutely sure, of course.