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“You’ll never be a real boy, Nico.” The voices jeered at him—Percy, Annabeth, Jason—overlapping, echoing, sharp. Everyone from the Argo II stood above him, laughing.
They found out. They couldn't have found out, he'd been so careful—no, no, no—
Were they ever really my friends?
The scene twisted again, shadows clawing at the edges.
“Bianca?”
His sister stood in the dark, face unreadable.
“You’ll always just be my baby sister,” she said.
“No.” Nico shook his head desperately. “No, you wouldn’t say that. You helped me cut my hair. Bianca, please—”
The shadows swallowed her whole.
Another voice.
“Why would I want to date a girl pretending to be a guy?” Will looked down at him with disgust curling on his face.
No.
No, Will wouldn’t—
“Vieni qui, figlia mia.”
(Come here, my daughter.)
His mother’s voice was soft, gentle—just like he remembered it. But worse.
Nico struggled as his chest tightened. “No, mamma, please—”
“You’ll never be a boy.”
“Little girl.”
"Why would I date someone like you?"
The voices came from everywhere now. Echoing, overlapping, getting louder. Closing in around him.
Bianca.
Mamma.
Will.
“No—”
-----------------------
Nico jerked awake, legs tangled in the blankets. He was covered in sweat, breathing hard like he'd just run a marathon. “It’s just a nightmare,” he whispered to himself, digging his nails into his palm just to make sure he was real. “Just a stupid nightmare.”
It didn't really convince him.
------------------------
A knock at the door jolted him out of his thoughts.
“Mierda,” he muttered, rolling onto his stomach and burying his face in his pillow.
“Nico?” Will’s voice drifted through the door. “You slept through breakfast.”
Nico groaned. “What time is it?”
“Noon.”
Oh.
Crap.
He heard Will shuffle his feet outside the door. “I brought you some chicken.”
“I’m not hungry.” Liar, his stomach growled at him. He ignored it.
“Yes, you are."
“Go away," Nico said, trying not to let his voice get desperate.
A pause.
“Nico.”
Gods, why did Will always say his name like that?
“I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I might.”
“You have to eat.”
Nico rolled his eyes. “No, I don’t.”
“Yes, you do. Just because you're a child of Hades doesn't mean you're immune to death by starvation.”
Nico groaned dramatically, deciding it was a useless battle. “Just give me a minute.”
Another pause. Then, softer, “Okay. But you’re eating all of it. Including the vegetables because I refuse to let your iron deficiency get any worse."
Nico pulled the pillow back over his head. “You sound eighty.”
“Eat your carrots, death boy.”
Nico huffed out the tiniest laugh despite himself. “Fine,” he conceded, resigning himself to a morning of Will mothering him.
“And all the fries.”
“Fine.”
Nico heard Will finally walk away from the cabin door. Only then did he relax slightly, dragging himself out of bed and over to his dresser.
His stomach dropped immediately.
No binders.
Well, no clean binders.
He yanked open a drawer and started digging through it, throwing black shirts onto the floor. Finally, he found one shoved all the way in the back, forgotten.
The first binder he’d ever bought. He'd bought it after overhearing some of the Demeter kids talking about getting one for their sibling. He'd spent weeks secretly saving drachmas to buy it.
It barely fit him then. And now?
Gods.
He stared at it for a long moment, trying to decide. On one hand, Will would kill him if he saw this thing.
Not literally. At least, probably not literally.
But after Will had caught one of the Apollo campers trying to bind with bandages, he’d gone on an hour-long rant about cracked ribs and breathing problems and permanent damage.
Nico knew better.
He did.
But on the other hand, the idea of going without one today, of feeling wrong, of hearing the voices in the back of his head get louder and louder—
His chest got tight. Absolutely not. Will wouldn't know.
Will couldn't know.
------------------
It was awful.
The binder barely stretched as he pulled it over his shoulders, and it dug into his ribs. By the time he got it on, he was already breathing harder than normal.
Too tight, he acknowledged.
Way too tight. There way he could survive capture the flag in this thing.
But the idea of taking it off made everything worse. So Nico shoved on a baggy black shirt and jeans instead—it wasn't like his outfit mattered. His entire wardrobe was basically just different shades of black anyway.
Black.
Faded black.
Grey pretending to be black.
But it was good enough.
-------------------
Lunch was loud, the sound of campers shouting across the pavilion about capture-the-flag strategies even more irritating than usual. Nico sat at the edge of the Hades table, trying not to breathe too deeply as the pain from the binder got worse.
He barely touched his food.
Will noticed immediately, of course, because apparently being annoying was one of Apollo’s sacred duties. “You skipped breakfast,” he said, sliding onto the bench across from Nico. “You need to eat.” He glanced worriedly at Nico's plate.
“I am eating.” Nico held up his sandwich.
Will countered, "You moved your food around three times. That doesn’t count.”
Nico rolled his eyes, then turned away.
Will frowned. “Nico.”
“I’m fine," Nico said immediately, then regretted it as his chest twinged.
“You look pale.”
“I always look pale.”
“That is not the point.”
Nico picked at the corner of his sandwich.
Will sighed, then said, “You have capture the flag in two hours. You need actual food.”
“I said I’m fine," Nico snapped, his face hot. Just leave me alone.
Will studied him for a second too long. Nico resisted the urge to squirm under the attention.
Finally, the other boy leaned back. “You better not shadow travel,” he said finally. “You’ll do some real damage to your body if you do.”
Nico rolled his eyes again. “I say that like I care about my body," he replied.
Will's face stayed flat. He did not look amused.
Nico forced himself to take a bite just to get Will to stop staring at him. It felt like sawdust in his mouth. But it worked.
Mostly.
But even after Will started talking to some of Apollo campers nearby, Nico could still feel his eyes glance over every couple seconds, like he was checking to make sure he was still there. Like he was worried.
The thought made something ache in Nico's chest, but he brushed it off as the binder.
-----------------------
He was on Annabeth's team for capture the flag, stationed on the right flank to keep attackers from circling around.
By then, Nico could barely breathe. The woods blurred around him in flashes of green and gold as he moved—or tried to move—through the trees. Every time he inhaled, his chest felt sharp. Every exhale felt too small.
The binder dug painfully into his ribs every time he ran, every time he twisted, every time his lungs tried to expand farther than the fabric would let them.
But he ignored it. He was good at ignoring pain—always had been.
The shadows curled at his feet. One stretched toward the base of the tree beside him. Normally moving them was easy, breathing, instinct. Now he just stared at it.
Nothing happened
Nico frowned and tried again, reaching for the darkness like he always did, but his focus slipped immediately.
His breath came shakier this time.
In.
Out.
Too fast.
The woods blurred around him.
Okay, he said to himself. Maybe Will had been right.
Horrifying thought.
Nico pressed a hand against the nearest tree, trying to steady himself.
---------------------
His heartbeat thudded painfully against his sternum, like a clock ticking. The trees spun strangely around him. Darkness crept at the edges of his vision.
He needed—
Will.
The thought came suddenly, but he knew it was the right one. Will was safe. Will would know what to do.
Nico reached for the shadows—come on, come on—immediately, pain ripped through him. Too much. Too tired. Too hard to breathe. He remembered Will's words. "You'll do some serious damage to your body."
He didn't care. He forced more power into it anyway. The shadows wrapped around him violently. His knees hit the ground hard. The trees blurred above his head, vision swirling. Dark green. Black. Gold. Brown. Dark green. Black. Gold.
Everything spinning.
His lungs burned. He tried to shadow travel again.
Will.
Need Will.
The shadows surged wildly around him before snapping out of control. Pain exploded through his chest. And then everything went dark.
----------------------
Will knew something was wrong the second the shadows started pulling inward.
One second campers were yelling around him, swords clashing somewhere deeper in the woods.
The next the entire forest seemed to dim. Shadows curled tighter around the trees instead of stretching away from them. They folded into themselves strangely, wavering like they were being dragged somewhere.
Like something was pulling them in.
Will’s stomach dropped.
Nico.
A yell cut through the woods.
"Will!"
Percy.
He started running before he could think. The tree branches clawed at his arms as he shoved blindly through the woods. Please be okay.
Please be okay.
Please—
He skidded to a stop when he saw him. Nico was curled at the base of a massive oak, completely still.
Shadows wrapped around him in thick coils, lashing violently at anything that got too close. Tree roots split where darkness struck them.
"Nobody can get near him," Percy said, breathless from several feet away. "The shadows keep attacking."
Will barely heard him.
Nico looked wrong.
Too pale.
Too still.
Like the shadows had decided Nico was injured and were trying to protect him from something they couldn't understand.
Will stepped forward.
Immediately shadows snapped toward him violently.
He stumbled back.
Okay.
Think.
Think.
Then Will remembered late nights in the infirmary.
Nico half asleep while Will hummed stupid songs under his breath doing paperwork.
The way Nico always relaxed when Will sang.
Very softly, Will started singing.
“You are my sunshine… my only sunshine…”
The shadows hesitated.
Will stepped closer carefully.
“You make me happy… when skies are grey…”
The darkness loosened slightly around Nico’s body.
His skin looked a little less deathly pale now.
The shadows crept toward Will slowly instead of lashing at him.
“You never know dear… how much I love you…”
The shadows curled around Will’s ankles.
Cold.
Not painful exactly.
Just draining.
Will felt warmth leave his body in slow pulls, shadows soaking up healing energy and feeding it back into Nico.
Nico’s breathing steadied slightly.
Worth it.
“So please don’t take my sunshine away…”
By the end of the line the shadows had climbed all the way to Will’s chest, wrapped around him almost gently now.
Will felt dizzy.
Not physically.
Mentally.
Like something was pulling exhaustion straight out of his head.
But Nico looked better.
So Will kept going.
Slowly, carefully, he crouched beside him.
“Nico?” he whispered.
No response.
Will reached for him carefully this time.
The shadows only tightened briefly around his wrists before relaxing again.
“It’s okay,” Will murmured. “I’ve got you.”
Will pressed a hand against Nico’s chest to check for injuries and froze. Something tight was wrapped around his ribs underneath his shirt. He pulled up the fabric just enough to see.
Everything clicked into place all at once.
The oversized clothes. Avoiding swimming. The way Nico froze the second Will had tried to adjust his shirt collar once, like anything near his chest was off-limits. He hadn't asked questions then. Will had noticed it before, in smaller things he hadn’t understood at the time.
Oh.
The binder changed everything. Bruising that didn’t line up with any single injury. And the way Nico had been breathing, shallow and strained, for hours before he even collapsed.
Oh.
“Nico,” Will whispered softly. "Oh, Gods, Nico."
From what Will could see, bruises wrapped around Nico's chest from the binder. Some old.
Some fresh.
Will’s chest twinged.
This had been happening for a while. “You absolute fool,” he muttered shakily, though it came out sounding more scared than angry.
Nico made a weak sound from somewhere in his throat.
Will softened instantly. “Hey, hey," he said quietly. "It’s okay.”
Carefully, he started pulling the binder off, bit by bit.
Even unconscious, Nico tensed.
“It’s okay,” Will whispered again. “I’ve got you.”
Then he slid one arm under Nico’s knees and the other around his back.
The shadows loosened completely this time, curling weakly around Nico’s wrists before fading back into the forest.
And then Will ran.
-----------------------
Nico woke slowly.
Everything hurt.
His ribs.
His head.
His throat. He tried to open his eyes, and when he did, the infirmary ceiling swam above him.
Then memory slammed back into him.
Capture the flag.
The shadows.
Will.
Nico felt panic hit him so hard he felt sick. He sat up too fast and immediately realized—
His binder was gone.
No.
No no no—
He couldn't breathe. Couldn't think. Couldn't do anything.
The curtain around the bed rustled open.
Will walked in carrying water and immediately froze.
Joy flashed across his face. Then relief. Then anger.
“You absolute idiot,” he snapped, setting down the water.
Nico flinched.
“That binder was way too tight, Nico! And then you shadow traveled on top of that? You could have seriously hurt yourself!”
Nico’s stomach dropped. He tried to speak but nothing would come out.
“Nico?”
His breathing turned sharp and uneven. Everything suddenly felt too loud. Too close.
Will knew.
Will knew and now everything was ruined.
“Nico,” Will said again, softer this time.
“You know,” Nico whispered.
Will blinked at him. “Yeah, I—”
“You know,” Nico repeated, voice cracking.
Understanding crossed Will’s face instantly. “Oh.”
Nico shoved himself backward against the wall.
Don’t cry.
Don’t cry.
Don’t cry.
“You don’t have to pretend,” he whispered, sniffling. “I know it’s weird.”
“What?” Will made a face.
“You don’t have to act like it’s normal,” Nico explained.
“Nico—”
He was going to cry. “I know I’m not a real—”
“Nico.” Will’s voice cut through the room sharply, and Nico flinched again. He had never heard Will raise his voice before.
Silence.
Will crossed the room slowly. “Nico,” he murmured, “you are a real boy.”
Nico looked away immediately.
“That's not why I was worried. That was never the part I was worried about.”
Something broke in Nico's chest. “But now you know,” he whispered.
Will shrugged. "Yeah.”
“And you’re not—”
“Why would this change anything?”
Because it changes everything.
Because people leave.
Because people look at you differently after.
Instead, Nico whispered, “You think I’m disgusting.”
Will looked horrified. “Nico, no.”
“You don’t have to lie.”
“I’m literally a son of Apollo. I can tell when people are lying, remember?”
A tiny laugh escaped Nico before he could stop it. More like a cough.
Will smiled faintly. Then his expression softened again. “What I do think,” he said carefully, “is that you’ve been hurting yourself for a really long time. I think you've convinced yourself you have to deal with this alone."
When Nico didn't say anything, Will added, "You had bruises, you know. Bad ones."
Shame crawled hot under Nico’s skin. "I didn't have another binder," he said.
Will went very still. He looked away for a second. Then, quietly, he said, “You could’ve told me.”
Nico's reply was instant, before he could stop it. “I didn’t want you to know.”
Will looked back up at him. “Were you scared I wouldn’t—"
He stopped abruptly.
Nico frowned slightly.
“Wouldn’t what?”
Will immediately looked like he regretted speaking.
“Nothing.”
Nico stared at him for a second.
Then slowly:
“I heard you.”
Will blinked.
“What?”
“When I passed out.” Nico’s voice came out quieter now. “I heard you singing.”
Will’s entire face turned red.
“Oh my gods.”
Nico ignored that.
“You sang You Are My Sunshine to my homicidal shadows. Of all the songs...You Are My Sunshine?”
“In my defense, it worked.”
A tiny laugh escaped Nico.
Then softer:
“You said…” His throat tightened. “‘You never know dear, how much I love you.’”
Will looked like he wanted the infirmary floor to swallow him whole.
“Nico—”
“You said love.”
“I was trying to stop your shadow magic from murdering people!”
“But you still said it.”
Will groaned and covered his face with his hands.
“Oh my gods.”
Despite everything, hysterical laughter bubbled in Nico’s chest.
Will peeked through his fingers. “This is not funny,” he snapped.
“It is, a little bit.”
Will sighed. “You literally went into magical self-defence mode like an injured raccoon.”
“You sang me a nursery rhyme.”
“You were dying!”
“I was being dramatic.”
“You were unconscious!”
Nico grinned despite himself.
Will stared at him. Then snorted out a laugh. “You," he decided, "are impossible.”
Something warm settled in Nico’s chest at the sound.
Will lowered his hands slowly. His face was still pink. “I did mean it,” he admitted quietly.
Nico’s breath caught. “Oh.”
Will rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.
“I just—Gods, Nico, I care about you so much and seeing you like that—”
Nico looked down quickly before Will could see the tears threatening to spill again.
“You still like me?”
Will blinked. “Nico,” he said slowly.
“You know what I mean.”
Will moved closer carefully. He reached out, slow, like he was giving Nico the chance to pull away.
Nico didn’t.
Will took his hand gently. “You are a boy,” he said firmly. “A real one. You’re also stubborn, and reckless, and apparently determined to give me heart failure, but none of that changes the first part.”
Nico laughed weakly, trying not to breathe too hard.
“And yes,” Will continued softly, “I still like you. I still love you. A lot.”
Warmth spread through Nico so suddenly it almost hurt.
“So,” Will said, smiling nervously now, “when you’ve got this all…figured out...maybe we could go on a date?”
Nico stared at him for a second. Then he said, "Only if you promise to stop yelling at me."
Will rolled his eyes. "I was not yelling." He crossed his arms.
“You absolutely were," Nico said back.
“Yeah, well, you deserved to be yelled at. You shadow traveled while suffocating yourself!”
“You’re being dramatic.”
Will pointed at him. “You passed out in the fucking woods!”
Nico grinned despite himself.
Will stopped mid-rant at the sight. His expression softened into something undeniably fond. "We'll get you new binders as soon as possible," he said. "To help with...this." He gestured aimlessly.
Nico blinked. “What?”
Will looked offended. "Nico, those bruises are awful. Why did you even still have that one?" he asked.
“They’re not that bad," argued Nico weakly.
Will gave him a pointed look.
“Okay," Nico admitted, "maybe they’re kind of bad.”
“KIND OF?”
Nico laughed again. A real laugh this time.
And for the first time all day, the voices in the back of his head finally went quiet.