Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

“Yah! What’s taking so long?”

Woonhak tries not to sound so whiny when he steps out of the passenger seat, shutting the door behind him before going round the back of the car to where Sungho’s seems to still be fiddling with something in the trunk. Riwoo and Taesan are draped over the backseat trying to help him, engaging in the most silly bickering known to man while Sungho seems oblivious to all outside noise, including Woonhak’s presence materializing beside him. Woonhak stands there in disbelief, hands on his hips while Sungho ignores him, and it’s Taesan who turns around to snark at Jaehyun in the middle seat.

“Jaehyun-hyung, could you tell him to please stop playing Tetris with the suitcases so we can go?

Jaehyun only laughs in response, focused on looking at something on his phone, but the complaining finally gets Sungho to answer. “If you all would have put your stuff in here properly to begin with, then I wouldn’t have to be fixing it! Your bag literally avalanched all over me when I opened the door—”

“Woonhak-ah, will you just help him a little?” Riwoo interrupts Sungho’s impassioned yammering, his tone and expression placating as he directs his request at the youngest. “I’d get out and do it myself if I wasn’t trapped in the backseat, but, you know.”

“Why doesn’t Jaehyun-hyung help you out with this, anyway?” Woonhak asks with a pout, complaining just to complain—even if he immediately goes to help Sungho take out some of the thrown-in bags he’d been struggling with. “Ah, Sungho, why’s your bag so heavy again? Give me that. No, no, that one, the yellow one, give me that first.”

Taesan interjects, “Okay, now you can line up the suitcases on the floor, and then—”

“Woonhak-ah, Jaehyun-hyung wants to connect to the bluetooth!” Leehan calls from the front of the vehicle, interrupting Woonhak’s train of thought.

Woonhak only comes back to himself when Sungho taps him gently on the shoulder to say, “Okay, that should be fine. Help me put the gym bags on top, then the smaller ones.”

Woonhak shakes his head fondly at their antics, doing what Sungho says anyway while Taesan and Riwoo follow suit, pulling the bags further in to make the most of the space that they have. They make quick enough work of rearranging all of their things while Jaehyun and Leehan figure out how to work the sound system in the front. and by the time Sungho’s satisfied, their bags are arranged neatly in a way that isn’t dangerously likely to make everything fall out the back the moment they reach their destination and open the door, and Leehan’s stuffed animal shark had been relegated into the back row between Riwoo and Taesan. Sungho smiles happily at the now-sensible organization of their belongings, and while everyone is grumbling variations of ‘can we go already?’, everyone knows that they’re going to be thankful for Sungho’s clean-freak side in the long run. 

When they’re done, Sungho steps aside to let Woonhak reach up and shut the back door. He smiles brightly when he looks at him and says a grateful, “Thanks, Woonhak-ah!” followed by a spirited ruffle of his hair.

Woonhak returns a smile that’s just as bright, even as he tries to duck away from Sungho’s hand. His hair’s a lost cause at this point, but it’s whatever. “Yeah, hyung. Thanks for coming.”

“What do you mean, mm?” Sungho winks, tapping him on the shoulder before walking back around the side of the car. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world!”

Woonhak laughs and walks back around to his side, too, opening the door and jumping back up into the passenger seat beside Leehan, the sound of what’s unmistakably Jaehyun’s playlist blasting through the speakers inside.

“Ready to go now?” Leehan asks in a slow drawl, hands on the steering wheel, his demeanour as easygoing as ever. “If anyone’s hungry, speak now so we can stop by somewhere with a drive-thru before we hit the expressway.”

“I could go for a coffee,” Jaehyun says through a yawn, with the audacity to stick his head in between the front seats and pout at Leehan and Woonhak who have been awake since 6 in the morning so they could bring the SUV over to Seoul from back home. 

The vehicle belongs to Woonhak’s family—they’d been kind enough to lend it to Woonhak and his friends as part of their gift for Woonhak’s recent college graduation—and Leehan and Woonhak’s drive together from there to here this morning was surprisingly peaceful relative to the chaos happening all around them now. Riwoo and Taesan are talking to each other in the back, Sungho is trying to ask them if they want anything to eat. Jaehyun’s music is playing maybe a little too loud—but Woonhak can’t say that he minds. There was a reason he wanted to go on a trip with his five favorite people to celebrate his graduation, and it was exactly this: the familiar, controlled, chaos, the same that he’d grown up with for basically his whole life, the people whose constant presence Woonhak could always rely on, for better or for worse.

After a beat of no one else saying anything, and Jaehyun’s face still squished up against Woonhak’s seat, Leehan finally declares as he puts the vehicle in drive, “Alright, coffee it is. Let’s go!”

Sungho is the first to erupt into a too-energetic cheer when Leehan steers them out of the parking lot of Jaehyun and Sungho’s apartment building, though the rest of them follow suit soon after, their little space now filled with pleasant noise. Woonhak puts Jaehyun’s favorite coffee shop into the GPS and settles into his seat, basking in the lovely sound of the music and his friends’ voices. The sun shines bright and blazing in the sky above them, a promise that the day is still young.

The three-hour drive from Seoul to Gangneung is about as perfectly chaotic as Woonhak had expected.

“Oh! I love this song!” Jaehyun yells from behind them as a new track comes up on the speakers, slapping at Sungho’s arms sounding out over the playful instrumental. “Sing it for us, Sungho-yah!”

“You sing it if you like it so much!” Sungho argues, laughing along anyway.

“Aww, are you being shy? You were just belting out Girls’ Ge—” Jaehyun stops himself, noticing the song’s intro ending, immediately pivoting to sing along, “The way you write… Oh my god, your handwriting…!”

“Oh my god, stop that!” Sungho says, laughing through his weak protest.

“HYUNG!” Woonhak chimes in as well, looking over his shoulder, barely able to hold back his own amusement. “What the hell, you sound so greasy—”

“Bookstore oppa~” Jaehyun continues, singing along to Scott and Zelda with this exaggerated, breathy voice, all while rubbing his hands all over Sungho’s arm. “What are you doing after work today~?”

“You’re so gross,” Sungho complains half-heartedly, cringing away from Jaehyun’s insistent clinging, “we shouldn’t have gotten you that coffee!”

Beside Woonhak, Leehan comments, “Jaehyunie-hyung really hasn’t changed, huh?”

“I only came… to buy some letter paper…”

Woonhak turns back to face the road again, looking at Leehan with an amused shake of his head. “Tell me about it.”

“But in my heart I’m Jane Austen, this is it, oh, shit— Ah~!”

Sungho just lets himself laugh, defeated. “Oh my god.”

Jaehyun continues on to sing the pre-chorus, and they all just let him, clearly enjoying the show. They’re an hour into their road trip, and the coffee that they’d picked up is now kicking in at full-force. Jaehyun’s iced americano is still sitting in the cupholder of his door, just a little less than half of it left, clearly translated into the ball of energy that he is now. Sungho is beside him, clearly just as excited about today as all of them, even if it comes out in playful complaints and excessive laughter at anything that anyone says. They’ve spent the past half-hour talking about what they were gonna do when they got to the beach, a serious conversation that devolved somewhere along the way into an endless medley of absurd jokes. Jaehyun said he’d pick Riwoo up and throw him into the water the moment they got there, Leehan suggested they all pick Woonhak up and pose with him like he’s a big fish they caught, Taesan suggested they play a game where they assign each of them something they aren’t allowed to do for the whole first day, and immediately proposed that Sungho not be allowed to try and organize everyone’s bags. Everyone laughed, and Sungho responded with a petty, ‘Fine! This is the easiest bet ever, I wasn’t going to do it anyway!’ and Woonhak was laughing along until Taesan suggested that Woonhak shouldn’t be able to say the word hyung. Woonhak immediately followed that up with an overly-snarky, ‘Fine, then, Han Dongmin!’, to which Jaehyun leaned in from behind him and flicked him in the forehead, and Leehan playfully muttered the world ‘fool’ from beside him, chuckling at his misfortune. Woonhak would’ve shoved him if he wasn’t driving, and he was happy to tell him exactly that as the teasing died down.

Woonhak has fun with them. He always does. They tease him and each other to no end, but these are the exact kinds of moments he’d been hoping for when he invited them all to go on this trip in the first place. He’s extremely glad that they all, finally found the time to do this; ever since they were kids, they’d always fantasize about going on a dream vacation like this, just the six of them, although those plans never came to fruition for whatever reason. There was never a right time; they’ve been coming up with ideas since Woonhak was in middle school and the hyungs were entering high school, but those things were never things that they could really do as kids. By the time Woonhak was in high school, too, the six of them were no longer all in the same place. Jaehyun and Sungho went off to college in Seoul, and then a year later, Taesan and Riwoo followed, while Leehan chose to study somewhere closer to home. Things got busier and busier while they all started thinking about bigger, adult things; by the time that Woonhak ended up coming to study in Seoul, too, the hyungs were already at such different stages of their lives—they all started looking for jobs, for places to live, and everyone always had somewhere to be. Even when all of them eventually ended up in the same city, it was always an uphill battle, trying to get their schedules to match up.

They all had to learn along the way that they had to work harder now, more intentionally, to keep their friendship alive. Woonhak personally believes he’s probably felt it the hardest, over time, the fact that while they’d been brought together as six by proximity and similarity in their childhood days, it had always been their efforts that kept them all together up to this point, when they’ve all grown into different people, different lives. They no longer all share basically the same goals or worries; they all have friends and circles and lives outside of each other, too. Finding their own balance was easier in some ways, and harder in others—just like everything in life that’s worth cherishing, keeping safe—and in the end, Woonhak is thankful that they’re still going strong. They’ve all made their own efforts, are all growing to put more intention into what used to be effortless when they were kids. It’s certainly different from those carefree, old days, but it’s still them. Clearly, those six kids still live somewhere in the adults that they are now, lively and comfortable even on a three-hour trip to the beach.

And eventually, despite all their quipping and teasing—all four of them in the front sing along with Jaehyun when the chorus hits, just as playful and enthusiastic with Jaehyun’s overly-sexy bit that he’s been committing to since the beginning.

“Would you wet your finger for me~? Would you pinch me~? Would you turn my page, would you read me, would you place a bookmark in me~?”

Woonhak sings along to the suggestive lyrics, unable to stop himself from grinning ear to ear as he looks out the window. In the side mirror, he can see Sungho holding an imaginary mic to his mouth as he sings along, eyebrows knit as he continues to try and get away from Jaehyun, who’s now singing way too close to his neck. Woonhak stops himself from making a fake gagging noise—he’s got to choose his battles with those two, after all, and they have three days and two nights ahead to spend together, so he holds off. When he looks up into the rearview mirror, Riwoo and Taesan are cramped together in the back, quiet as always; although, Taesan is holding up his phone to capture the chaos in front of him, face fixed in a toothy smile as he watches their antics. Riwoo is asleep on Taesan’s shoulder, despite chugging down the entirety of his iced coffee within the first ten minutes of having it, and it looks like he’s holding onto Leehan’s shark plushie with a loose grip. All of the rowdy chaos is balanced out by Leehan’s smooth driving, fingers tapping on the steering wheel as the time goes by.

It’s an absolutely perfect start to their trip, really. Jaehyun cues up more songs for them to sing along to, even playing some demos that he, Woonhak and Taesan have been working on together in their free time. Sungho hums along to everything, Jaehyun and Woonhak get their sudden bursts of energy every once in a while, Riwoo stays asleep even when Taesan whines for Jaehyun to put on some rock music around the two-hour mark. Leehan is happy to go with the flow of it all as he drives, and somewhere along the way, someone from the back passes around some packs of snacks that they all share; Woonhak becomes Leehan’s personal gummy dispenser, tasked with picking out the red bears and reaching over to put them into Leehan’s mouth. When they’re only a good fifteen minutes away from their accommodations, Riwoo wakes up to the sound of everyone marveling at the sight of the ocean just outside, and he makes a lively joke about closing his eyes and then waking up next to the ocean ‘with a shark in his lap’. Everyone is pleased that Riwoo’s regained his energy, and Leehan rolls down their windows so they can all feel the salty, summer air. 

“Woah…” Woonhak explains excitedly, sticking his head out the window to let the air whip across his face, “...this is seriously the best! And I’m so glad I get to room with Riwoo-hyung, I’m already tired of the rest of you.”

“Who says Riwoo-hyung isn’t already tired of you?” Taesan teases from the back, to which Woonhak rolls his eyes nearly into the back of his head. “Are you excited, Riwoo-hyung?”

“Taesan-hyung, I swear to god—”

“I’m already mentally preparing myself, Kim Woonhak,” Riwoo teases from the back, “do your worst.”

“Wow, you seriously all hate me!” Woonhak complains.

“Yah, why do you think we’re all here right now, brat?!” Sungho scolds, reaching over the passenger seat to ruffle at his hair, again. 

At the perfect time to interrupt their bickering, the GPS instructs them to take a turn off of the highway, and from the driver’s seat, Leehan calls out in his low, commanding voice, “Intuition game, Taesan excluded since he has to check us in. Losers get groceries—”

“One!”

“Two!”

“Three!”

“Three!”

“Who said three?” Leehan asks, amused, while Jaehyun already starts to bicker with Woonhak again.

“Ah, I swear, Woonhak-ah—”

“What?! We said it at the same time!” Woonhak argues back.

“We’ve been together for over twenty years and you still don’t get my telepathy?!”

“Oh my god, you two are so exhausting—” Sungho interjects, “—rock-paper-scissors. I wanted to go, anyway, I know neither of you know how to choose the good beef.”

“Hey, I know how to choose—”

“Rock, paper scissors—”

Woonhak throws paper, Jaehyun throws rock. Woonhak sticks his tongue out. He hears Taesan and Riwoo making their own commentary at the back, something along the lines of, Woah, Kim Woonhak-ssi is really still such a kid, huh?, mixed in with laughter and a few more smart quips that Woonhak doesn’t hear.

Leehan wraps it all up sweetly with, “Alright, so eomma and appa will go get our food, Taesanie will check us in, Riwoo and the baby can relax, and you all have to treat me like a princess after driving in this mess for three hours. Sound good?”

“Got it, Mr. Taxi,” Sungho answers. 

“Yes, Your Royal Highness,” Taesan responds in a deadpan tone.

“Great!” Leehan beams, and Woonhak watches with bright eyes as he turns the wheel to steer them onto a gravel path. “Everyone hold onto your sharks, then. We’ll be arriving soon.”

“Alright~” says Riwoo from the backseat, holding up Leehan’s plushie so it’s visible in the rearview mirror. Woonhak smiles, raises his phone up to snap a picture and keep the memory for later. The day’s definitely off to a good start—and he can’t wait to see what more is in store.

They arrive at their destination just a little past 1 PM, with a full day of beach and sunlight still ahead.

“Wow,” Leehan sighs dreamily the moment he steps out of the car, ever the ocean-lover. “This is so nice."

Woonhak smiles in agreement, looking out at the beach. Leehan takes a second to take it in before going to open the doors for the rest of them, and Woonhak kicks into gear, too, circling toward the back to get everyone’s things out of the trunk.

One by one, they all spill out of the car—Jaehyun and Sungho first, and then Taesan and Riwoo following after Leehan collapses the middle seat to let them out—and then it takes approximately one second of them all being out of the car for Jaehyun to start goofing around. 

All that Woonhak hears is a surprised yelp of “Yah!”, before he looks off to the side and sees that Jaehyun’s snatched Riwoo away, holding him by the wrist and running both of them off of the gravel path and straight onto the sandy beach. All that the rest of them can do is watch as the two of them get farther and farther, and listen to the fading sound of Jaehyun’s laughter and Riwoo’s complaints about getting sand in his shoes.

Sungho and Taesan come around the back to help out with their bags, and Taesan comments with a chuckle as they watch the two running into the horizon, “Should someone go and save Riwoo-hyung?”

“A little fun won’t kill him,” Sungho rolls his eyes fondly, stepping forward to rest a hand on Woonhak’s shoulder. “Let’s grab the stuff so Taesan can go check us in. It’s these three cabins, right?”

Taesan hums in agreement, pointing at the cabins in either direction, one on his left and two on his right. “They’re all cleaned and ready, I just have to go and get the keys and ask where we can park the car.”

“Heh. ParkTheCar,” Woonhak comments, tapping at Sungho’s shoulder on his arm. Sungho flicks him in the forehead, and promptly lets go. “Ow!”

“So who goes in which house?” Sungho asks Taesan directly, who’s still laughing at his expense, while Woonhak laughs off to the side.

Taesan shrugs. “They’re all the same.”

Suddenly, Leehan pops in, too. “Driver gets first dibs, I want the separate one.”

“What if Riwoo-hyung and I want the separate one?” Woonhak argues, mostly just to stir the pot—but he’s shut down pretty quickly.

“Riwoo-hyung isn’t here,” Taesan sticks his tongue out, “and Jaehyun-hyung isn’t here, either—and I want the separate one, too.”

Sungho scoffs, “Dude, whatever, you just said they were all the same!”

Taesan smirks, and then pokes playfully at Leehan’s arm. “That’s decided, then.”

Sungho shakes his head before turning back to Woonhak with an expression that reads, Can you believe these two? Woonhak just smiles in return. Sungho eventually decides, “Okay, come on. Let’s get these bags out, then.”

“Yes, Sir!” Woonhak answers, and after a few more fond head shakes, they have the bags out of the trunk in record time.

Leehan drives the car away to get it parked somewhere once it’s empty, and Taesan heads up the other side of the gravel path toward their host’s house. Sungho carries most of the gym bags while Woonhak carries the two trolley-style things over the sand, and they head to the two cabins beside each other first, while Jaehyun and Riwoo start to jog leisurely back toward them from the beach. Sungho makes a show of loudly complaining, “Ah, your bags are all so heavy! We’re here for three days, did everyone pack their whole house?”

Woonhak quips back, heaving as he carries Sungho’s bag, “Hyung, this thing feels like it’s full of cement.”

“You’ll all eat your words when you come running to me later, asking if I have extra of all the things you forgot.”

Okay. Fair.

“Sungho!” Jaehyun calls as he jogs over, catching up to them with Riwoo trailing behind him. “Hey, let me carry some of those.”

“It’s fine, I’m fine,” Sungho waves him off, bags slung stubbornly off his shoulders. “Could you two just open the doors for us?”

Riwoo catches up to them, running up to Woonhak’s side. “Which one’s ours?”

“Any. Pick one,” Woonhak answers, loud enough for Jaehyun to hear, too. “Taesan and Leehan get the one on the other side.”

“Who decided that?” Jaehyun asks, opening the door to the furthest cabin to let Sungho inside. Sungho mutters something in response that Woonhak doesn’t hear, the rest of their conversation muffled as they walk through their door.

“Hey, so,” Riwoo starts off, holding the door of their cabin open for them both, “neither of those are ours, Woonhak.”

“What?” Woonhak asks, clueless—before he realizes that his and Riwoo’s bags are, indeed, being carried by Sungho into the other room. “Oh! Right. Whatever, we can check out the room first! I’m sure Sungho-hyung wanted to put those down.”

“Leave those on the steps,” Riwoo smiles, already walking into the cabin. “I hope the beds are soft!”

“Let’s see,” Woonhak answers excitedly, leaving Sungho’s and Leehan’s bags out on the steps and hurriedly stepping out of his shoes. He follows Riwoo into their cabin not long after, eyes wide as he explores the new space. “Wow, this is nice. Cozy. Woah, hyung, my heart’s suddenly, like, all fluttery? This is, like, our first real trip together! What do you think of the room? Do you like it?”

Riwoo chuckles at him, Woonhak’s question already half-answered by the way he flops down onto the bed further away from the door, already sinking into the mattress below. “It’s nice. I’m not hard to please, you know.”

“There’s even a tiny kitchen and everything,” Woonhak observes, now flitting excitedly around the small space. “I’m gonna take a look around!”

“Mmm,” Riwoo hums, spreading his arms across the bed. “Call me if we’re having lunch.”

Woonhak laughs at that, content to let Riwoo recover from Jaehyun’s antics. Taking a look around doesn’t actually mean much, considering how small the cabin is—but everything excites Woonhak all the same. The room is, like he said, cozy: two beds, one bathroom, a tiny kitchen space with a microwave and portable stove. He’s probably seen hotel rooms that are bigger—not that he’s complaining at all. 

Their three cabins are situated just at the edge of the beach, right below the line where sand meets the gravel path. They’re on raised platforms to keep the sand from getting inside, and the front steps give a perfect view of the ocean in the distance. There’s a fire pit right outside Jaehyun and Sungho’s cabin that Woonhak knows they’ll probably sit around later for dinner, and the thought already has his heart swelling even more—excited for the good company and the good food. Riwoo was onto something with his request for lunch. They should probably get on that soon.

All in all, even if it isn’t the peak of luxury, Woonhak thinks it hardly matters. They’d all put in their own efforts to make this happen, and the cabins came at a good, discounted price from the owner, who’s apparently the aunt of Taesan’s former college roommate. They’re all just barely adults, still trying to find their footing in the real world, on their own—and it’s nice to be able to do this for themselves, just the six of them. And even though all of the other five tend to say this about Woonhak—Woonhak also realizes, in moments like this, how much all of them have grown up, too.

Knock, knock, knock, comes the sound on their door while Woonhak is busy checking out what the bathroom looks like, followed immediately by Sungho’s melodic voice. “Woonhak-ah, let’s go bring over Taesan and Leehan’s things!”

“Coming!” Woonhak turns around, attentive. He shuffles across the wood floor to hold the door open for Sungho, who’s got Taesan’s black bag carried over his shoulder. Woonhak points toward the bags on the steps, and tells him, “There’s yours.”

“Jaehyun will get that,” Sungho answers. “He’ll bring over yours and Riwoo’s, too. In a bit.”

From the bed, Riwoo answers, “Thank you!”

“Hyung says he’s hungry,” Woonhak tells Sungho after, a hopeful grin on his face. “You’ll get groceries, right?”

“One thing at a time, aegi,” Sungho rolls his eyes. “Let’s bring Leehan and Taesan’s things, then Jaehyun and I will leave. Tsk, we should’ve just left these on the side for a bit before bringing them over, this is so inefficient. You ready?”

Woonhak shakes his head at that, walking out the door and down the steps to carry Leehan’s bag. Sungho’s probably right about that, but— “Yah, didn’t we say you weren’t allowed to micromanage today, hyung? Plus one penalty point.”

Sungho scoffs, affronted, as he starts walking behind Woonhak, “You guys are so ridiculous! You didn’t even finish coming up with anything for anyone else because Riwoo started doing trot singer impressions!”

“Are you willing to bet on that?” Woonhak teases.

“If I’m not allowed to ‘micromanage’, then that means you can’t call anyone hyung, either. You should have, like, twenty penalty points!”

“Okay, okay, we’ll call this even—” Woonhak concedes, easily accepting his defeat, “—I’m just messing with you, hyung. Your reactions are always so funny.”

“Tch,” Sungho scoffs, making a face when Woonhak turns around to sneak a look.

“See, you’re proving my point,” Woonhak comments again.

“Shut up, Woonhak!” Sungho responds lightheartedly now, with barely held-back laughter. “Move aside. I’ll open the door.”

It’s a simple enough affair from there. Leehan and Taesan’s cabin is still empty, and Sungho and Woonhak simply leave the bags on the floor, Taesan’s bag resting neatly against Leehan’s wheeled luggage. Sungho stands up straight with a relieved exhale once he’s dropped what he’s holding, hands on his hips as he looks around the room. He studies the layout with wide eyes and his usual pout, and Woonhak watches him, fond.

“You’re trying not to go into organizing mode, aren’t you?” Woonhak teases, crossing his arms as he goes to sit on one of the beds.

“Ah, come on. Don’t wrinkle their sheets,” Sungho complains, proving Woonhak’s point again. It just makes him smile even more.

“Loosen up, we’re on vacation,” Woonhak rolls his eyes, gesturing vaguely at the other bed. “Taesan-hyung and Leehan-hyung must be taking their sweet time, talking to the owner.”

Reluctantly, Sungho sits down. He situates himself on the edge of the bed, leans back onto flexed arms, lets out some slower breaths as he starts to relax. 

They sit together in that silence for a while, underscored by the ocean waves; it isn’t really awkward, but it’s not exactly free of some restlessness, either. The two of them are the type who are always moving, after all—they’ve both been talking endlessly since they were in the car, getting things done and out of the way so that they can all focus on having fun. For how much they all like to tease Sungho for his alleged ‘micromanaging’, Woonhak does know how much Sungho actually does make their lives easier. Sungho definitely will be the person they come running to when there’s inevitably something that someone forgot to pack for themselves; Sungho’s probably already scoured every inch of his and Jaehyun’s room, knows where to find the towels and extra blankets and the house slippers; and Sungho’s also going to be the one who can decipher any coherent thoughts out of when they start talking over each other at dinner, quietly making sure from the side that everyone gets to do what they want to do, eat what they want to eat, say what they want to say.

“So? We’re all here at the beach now,” Sungho turns to smile at him, lips still formed into a pout. “What do you think? Still excited?”

“Of course!” Woonhak answers confidently, happy to see that it makes Sungho smile. “Although, we both got a workout in right at the beginning. I’m kind of starving.”

“That was barely anything!”

“Says you! Heaving and sweating and everything.”

“Alright, alright, I heard you,” Sungho rolls his eyes, wiping the sweat off of his forehead with the back of his hand. “You and Riwoo are still always on the same page, huh?”

Woonhak shrugs. “‘Course. Riwoo-hyung loves me.”

“Ah, so he’s your favorite these days?”

“Eh, jury’s still out.”

Sungho raises an eyebrow, amused. “Who’s in the running? Leehanie? Ah, you know, Jaehyun would probably do all sorts of things to try and get you to say it’s him.”

“Why are you so curious?” Woonhak teases again, all too amused at the thought of them bickering over him. “You hoping it’s you, hyung?”

“Uh, no?” Sungho answers instantaneously, with a confused laugh, and almost like it’s obvious— “I know I’ve never once been your favorite hyung—and I’m fine with that, thank you very much.”

For some reason, that makes Woonhak stop in his tracks. He immediately forgets the next little quip he’d been coming up with, stopping instead to think about what seems to be a harmless comment. Sungho doesn’t seem all too serious, but the words don’t come off as insincere, either—and so Woonhak is taken aback. Part of him feels the need to deny it. “Hey, that’s not true.”

“It’s true,” Sungho says matter-of-factly, with a lighthearted laugh.

“I like you all equally!” Woonhak responds, chuckling back a bit nervously.

“You don’t believe me?” Sungho challenges, a sly smirk now forming on his face. “They’ve all been your favorite at least once. Don’t deny it!”

“Well—” Woonhak pouts, “—it’s not like I’m keeping track!”

“Well, for Riwoo, obviously, you two are always kind of a set, you know? You have that pact about always taking each other’s sides and everything. And he’s always doted on you like no one else.”

Woonhak huffs. “That’s just because—”

Sungho holds a hand up. “Before I moved to town, you were all over Jaehyun. You hated me for a bit, ‘cause I ‘stole him from you’. Didn’t you?”

“I didn’t hate you!”

“Taesan’s obvious—he’s like, your musical idol. You always clung to him when we were in middle school, high school, when he was always showing you his record collection and teaching you basic producing stuff,” Sungho explains, clearly quite sure of himself, “and you got really close to Leehan when everyone else went to Seoul to study. You kept saying he was your favorite for, like, three years—until Jaehyun started getting sulky and you started rotating your answers. But I know it’s never been me.”

Woonhak pouts at him, suddenly feeling bad. To be fair, Sungho’s a little bit right— “But you know that doesn’t mean that I don’t—”

“Yah, I’m not saying this because I’m bitter, or anything. You know that, right?” Sungho laughs, clearly amused, already getting ahead of Woonhak’s thoughts. “I actually think it’s kinda funny. You know me. I mean it when I say it’s not a big deal.”

“Really? It seems like you’ve thought about it a lot,” Woonhak huffs, voice small.

“Sure,” Sungho shrugs, still laughing it off, “and the conclusion was that it doesn’t really matter. Obviously, I’m just a consistent person. You can rely on me whether I’m your favorite or not. Right? As long as you know that, then I’m good with it. Really. Don’t feel bad about this or anything, I really didn’t say it to make you. I’m just rambling a lot again, aren’t I? I should— Okay, I should shut up.”

“No, you’re—” Woonhak stammers, weirdly touched by Sungho’s affection disguised as nonchalance. “Wow. You actually looked kinda cool, just now, hyung.”

“How touching,” Sungho deadpans, rising from the bed and stretching his arms out over his bed, not unlike an actual cat. “Yeah, so, just act like you normally do. Don’t make this a big thing in your head. Okay?”

“Sure,” Woonhak replies, moving to stand up, too. He steps over to where Sungho’s rolling his shoulders back, the two of them now staring out the window of the cabin at the sea. Woonhak leans down to get all up in Sungho’s face and tease, “But hyung—I’m your favorite dongsaeng, right?”

Sungho pouts, humming for a bit before he answers noncommittally, “Well, Leehan did drive us here today…”

“Ah, you really suck,” Woonhak tells him, speaking comfortably as they’d just agreed upon. “I got up early to get everything ready, too, you know!”

“Don’t bite the hand that’s about to feed you, Woonhak-ah,” Sungho retorts with his signature face of annoyance, huffing as he starts walking to get out the door. Woonhak follows behind him, already giggling happily at the prospect of some food.

Just as the two of them are coming down the steps of the cabin, they spot Leehan and Taesan walking from the gravel path and onto the sand, sunglasses on and sets of room keys in their hands. Leehan greets the both of them with a wave, the longer strands of his hair flying back against his face. Taesan is the one who calls out jokingly, “You two just got out of there now? I thought Sungho-hyung wasn’t supposed to organize everyone’s luggage?”

Before Woonhak can join in, Sungho claps back, “Han Taesan, I swear to god I won’t feed you.”

“I’m not hungry anyway,” Taesan answers, dragging out the last syllable, before Leehan nudges him playfully in the side. 

“Thanks for bringing our stuff,” Leehan says instead, smile lighting up his eyes. “Keys?”

Taesan hands them both their room keys with a satisfied smirk, and the afternoon picks up from there. 

Jaehyun and Sungho head out to get groceries not long after, and Riwoo comes out of his and Woonhak’s cabin and makes them all put on a bunch of sunscreen before they go to the beach. Jaehyun and Sungho come back with some sushi from a local spot that the guesthouse auntie had recommended, and they all get to meet her when she brings them some complimentary pots of seafood ramyeon and homemade jjampong.

After a hearty lunch by the cabins, they head out to the beach. They spend some time playing in the water for a bit while the sun’s high in the sky, snapping photos on their phones and playing some summer music on Woonhak’s little bluetooth speaker, since they have this particular strip of beach all to themselves. Woonhak gets splashed completely in the face within the first minute, but he gets his revenge by tackling Taesan into the water, which Leehan now has a video of on his phone. The rest of them had gotten submerged to varying levels—Sungho up to his knees, Riwoo just up to his ankles, and Jaehyun and Leehan somewhere in between—and it didn’t take long for them to start just throwing sand at each other for a good minute, running around like children and finding creative ways to get each other drenched. Woonhak is sure he looked like a mess at the end of it—but as the afternoon sun persisted, his soaked hair and clothes quickly dried back up, too.

The rest of the afternoon is spent with them all doing their own thing for a bit, relaxing as they please after already spending a good chunk of their day entertaining each other. They’ll see each other again for dinner later, anyway—Sungho and Jaehyun had even brought some alcohol back from the mart, so that should be good—and right now, Woonhak doesn’t mind seeing how they all spend their time. He’s been running around trying to join everyone little by little as the sun moves closer to the ocean, never losing his energy despite being up since 6 AM.

Sungho and Taesan are the ones who actually swim, the two of them still out in the water, wading through the waves and actually covering some ground. Woonhak’s not sure what they’re really doing out there, but they seem to be enjoying it, so no one really minds them—save for Riwoo’s occasional reminders not to swim out too far, and for Taesan to be careful when he tries to do a backfloat as the tides pick up. Riwoo, predictably, is sitting happily on their beach blanket, wearing sunglasses and a huge hat and a long-sleeved shirt, lounging around and enjoying the snacks that everyone brings him from the cabins every once in a while. He seems perfectly content, just watching everyone having fun; honestly, it makes Woonhak’s heart feel a little more at ease, too, seeing Riwoo able to relax and be comfortable with them, knowing how hectic and fast-paced his daily life is with his job. Riwoo’s also taken on the easy mission of watching over all of their things, including the seashells that Leehan’s been bringing back when they no longer fit in his hands. Leehan’s been walking on the beach for god knows how long now—walking far away in one direction, coming back to the beach blanket, and then walking just as far the other way—collecting seashells and little rocks that pique his interest, maybe even telling Riwoo about what kinds of shellfish they all come from as he brings them back. Or maybe not; Woonhak doesn’t really catch it. He’s been preoccupied with Jaehyun for a while now, the two of them tossing a ball around in all the possible ways they could think of: volleyball, foot volleyball, a simple game of catch, bowling with some water bottles, volleyball in the water. They’ve had their fair share of running (or swimming) after the ball after a missed catch, and the two of them alone have run through around half of the water bottles that they’d been using as makeshift bowling pins the whole afternoon—and it’s around after their third try at foot volleyball that Woonhak makes a ‘T’ shape with his hands and signals to Jaehyun that it’s about time they take a break. Thankfully, Jaehyun agrees, and they jog back over to the picnic blanket together, Riwoo already waiting for them with their half-drunk bottles of water from earlier.

“Thanks, hyung,” Woonhak says as he takes his water, screws the cap off, and chugs, some of it running down the corners of his mouth.

“Thanks,” Jaehyun says, doing the same thing.

“Have you used up all your energy now?” Riwoo asks them, amused, already moving to lay back down on the blanket like earlier. “Ah, the sodas are probably cold in the fridge by now, but I’m too lazy to go and get them.”

Woonhak wipes his chin with the back of his hand as he finishes his water, and immediately goes to lay down on the blanket beside Riwoo, chest heaving. “We can just stay still for a bit, Riwoo-hyung. We’re gonna have dinner soon, anyway. Look, the sun’s about to set.”

“You two are seriously always thinking about eating, huh?” Jaehyun teases, nudging Woonhak in the leg so he can sit on a single corner of the blanket. “Riwoo-yah, are you really not going in the water?”

“My limbs are so heavy, I’ve been lying here all day…” Riwoo answers with faux regret, though it’s clear he isn’t sorry at all. “Yah, I saw the beef that Sungho brought back earlier. He’s gonna grill it for us, right? He’s seriously so good at that, for some reason. I hope you thank god for what you have every day.”

“Riwoo-ssi, Sungho would cook for you every day if you asked. Hand-delivered to the hospital and everything, just say the word.”

“Pass. I wouldn’t have time to eat it anyway, that would be such a waste.”

“Hyung, are you still not eating properly?” Woonhak pouts, concerned. They always nag him about it in passing when they see each other every month, but Riwoo is stubborn. “I keep telling you, you should try to have a meal after your shift if you end up not being able to eat while working. I know it’s tiring and you’re probably tempted to just crash into bed, but—”

“Ah, nagging, nagging, nagging noises,” Riwoo waves him off petulantly, making a show of covering his ears. “Come on, Woonhak-ah, we’re at the beach. Can you guys not nag me about that, just this once?”

“Hyung—”

Woonhak is interrupted by Jaehyun gripping firmly at his knee, chuckling at both of them as he looks off into the distance, watching Sungho and Taesan play in the water. “Wow. Riwoo-yah, our baby’s old enough to nag us now, huh? They grow up so fast.”

“Oh god. Reverse it, please. He’s smothering me,” Riwoo says, his lips curling up into a smile.

Woonhak sits up, scoffs, and rolls his eyes at them both. “Whatever,” he shakes his head, chuckling along. “As long as you guys are happy.”

“As long as you guys are happy,” Jaehyun repeats dramatically, clutching at his chest. “Oh! Leehan-ah, did you hear that, just now? Woonagi’s trying to act all dreamy and mature.”

Leehan, who’s now jogging up to their blanket with a smile on his face and a new handful of seashells and rocks, says, “What about you, Woonhak? You’re having fun, too, right?”

Woonhak huffs at everyone’s teasing. Still, when he looks around—watching Leehan put his seashells into the existing pile and Sungho and Taesan splashing water at each other in the ocean—his heart feels full. “Of course I am. I’m really, reeeeally happy right now.”

Leehan smiles, and then deadpans, “Good. I’ve been up at 6 AM for this, after all.”

Jaehyun adds, “And Sungho and I spent a fortune on all the extra servings of beef I know you’re gonna gobble up.”

Riwoo adds, “And an ER in Seoul is understaffed for this, so I’m glad it’s worth it.”

“Oh my fu—” Woonhak nearly curses, cutting himself off to roll his eyes instead when all three of them chuckle in tandem. “I can’t believe I always still fall for this with you guys!”

“That’s why it’s so fun making you mad!” Jaehyun squeezes Woonhak’s knee, and then shamelessly uses him as leverage to stand up off of the mat. Woonhak yelps out overdramatically, which Jaehyun is used to enough to ignore. “Oh, looks like the sun’s going to set soon. I’ll go and grab Sungho’s camera and some of those sodas from the fridge. Anyone need anything?”

When no one says anything further, Jaehyun runs off. He’s right: the air around them is no longer as hot as it was, and the light on the horizon is beginning to glow a golden orange instead of bright white. The impending sunset paints the sky in shades of pink and purple and deep blue, changing by the second as the sun gradually approaches the line of the sea.

It isn’t dark out yet, but they can tell that it will be soon. In the time that it takes for Jaehyun to go and get what he needed to get from the cabins, Sungho and Taesan start moving closer toward the shore, preparing to come up and out of the water now that they see that everyone’s gathered. Woonhak, ever the hype man, pulls out his phone to take a video of the two of them as they come up onto the shore, shaking water out of their hair as they run onto the sand, the sunset light glowing on their skin, which they’d been clearly eager to show off. At the risk of boosting their egos disproportionately, Woonhak cheers them on as they walk back in their stupid, shirtless glory, trying to act all cool and nonchalant, running their fingers through saltwater-frizzed hair. 

When they actually walk over, though, Woonhak’s dramatics are all but drowned out. Leehan doesn’t even try to hide anything, his eyes glued to Taesan, his lips fixed in this satisfied, little smirk. He reaches over Riwoo to grab a towel from Sungho’s huge beach bag, looks at Taesan again—and he fucking whistles.

Woonhak fake-gags. Taesan laughs shyly as he takes the towel from Leehan’s hand, and Riwoo reaches up to pat Woonhak on the back.

“Get used to it already,” he says, laughing. “They’re still honeymooning, clearly.”

Riwoo reaches over into the same bag, grabs another towel, and then flings it at Sungho’s face.

“Thanks,” Sungho says simply, catching it before it can hit him. “So, where’s my disaster of a boyfriend?”

Riwoo jokes, “He went to get your camera, but now he’s missing out on the view.”

“Classic,” Sungho smiles fondly, now drying his new, blonde hair with the towel. “Oh? Woah. The sunset’s really nice, though. We should take some pictures before it gets dark.”

“Jaehyun-hyung’s gonna sulk if we take some without him,” Woonhak says.

Sungho shrugs, now moving to sit down where Jaehyun just was, moments ago. “We have some time. Did you guys finish all the water?”

Riwoo fishes out another bottle from somewhere, handing it over easily. “Here.”

“It’s warm,” Sungho complains.

Taesan reaches out his hand. “I’ll take it.”

Riwoo looks back and forth between them both. “Fair warning, Woonhak and Jaehyun used these as bowling pins.”

Taesan makes a grabby motion with his fingers. “Water is water.”

“Just give it to him,” Sungho nods at Riwoo, waving it off. “Give me a sip aft—”

“Cold water, Yeppi-nim.”

They’re interrupted by Jaehyun appearing from behind them, his head suddenly hovering between Sungho’s and Woonhak’s faces. Woonhak jumps back in surprise, and Sungho jolts with the feeling of a cold bottle of water on his skin, pressed right into his hands. Jaehyun smiles brightly, and then presses a long—probably too-long—kiss to Sungho’s cheek.

Woonhak makes a face. “Ugh. Seriously?”

“See? They’re worse,” Leehan comments, arm still slung around Taesan’s shoulder.

Woonhak huffs. “Debatable.”

Jaehyun pouts, his chin now hooked onto Sungho’s shoulder. “Can you blame me for being in love with a man that looks like this?”

Woonhak is floored. Absolutely speechless. His eyes are about to pop up out of his head, when Riwoo gently pats his arm, sympathetic. “God, save me. I only have Riwoo-hyung in this world.”

Sungho shakes his head instead of protesting, and they all have a good laugh. Sungho and Taesan drink their water, dry their hair and put their shirts back on, while Riwoo takes one of the sodas that Jaehyun had brought from the fridge, handing it to Woonhak after taking about two sips. Woonhak then chugs from the bottle until it’s only about a quarter full, the sweetness refreshing as it hits his tongue. After a while, Sungho starts messing around with the settings on his polaroid camera, and Jaehyun fidgets with the wheel on the disposable one. The sun moves steadily downward as they all watch, the sky shifting from light pink to golden orange mixing with deeper purples. Sungho is the one who pushes himself off of the ground first, still looking intently at the camera in his hands.

“Alright, come on, let’s take some pictures while the sunset lasts!” Sungho announces, already walking back to the beach shore, waving them all over as they start to rise from the blanket. “Let’s take one each!”

Woonhak and Jaehyun rise to their feet first, already running after him, all excited. Leehan and Taesan come after, and Leehan holds his hand out for Riwoo to take. Soon, they’re all jogging towards the shore where Sungho’s angling the camera up to capture himself and the sunset, his thumb already on the button.

“I’m taking the picture! One, two—”

That gets Taesan, Leehan and Riwoo running over to get into the frame laughing as they yell out protests of, Wait! Sungho-hyung! Don’t you want all of us in your picture?

The polaroid camera flashes the very moment that Riwoo pops up in the front between Jaehyun and Sungho, jumping up like a mole, and Woonhak feels Taesan practically jumping on him in the back, an arm now slung around his shoulder, ensuring that Woonhak’s probably making some funny-looking face of protest in the final photo.

“Ah, Taesan-hyung!” Woonhak yells, trying to wriggle away from his hold—but it’s no use. Taesan just laughs, keeping him in a headlock while they all gather to look at the photo as it prints.

Sungho swats them all away, “Yah, what a bunch of vultures. It isn’t gonna fully develop until later.”

“Okay, me next!” Jaehyun says, bouncing on his heels, holding his hands out until Sungho hands him the camera. “All of you, mess with Woonagi!”

“What?!” Woonhak yells—and everyone promptly follows in Taesan’s footsteps, wrapping him in a bone-crushing group hug. Jaehyun holds the camera up, and the flash goes off when Woonhak is laughing mid-yelp.

He pretty much accepts his fate after that, as they all take turns holding the camera and snapping a polaroid each, one by one. Jaehyun makes Woonhak give him a piggy-back ride for Riwoo’s picture, Taesan makes them all pat Woonhak’s head, and Riwoo tells him he’ll just press the button while they do whatever, which means they all start doing and saying the most out-of-pocket things to coax out Woonhak’s actual laugh. 

By the time it’s Woonhak’s turn, the sky is already turning dark, the sun already halfway below the horizon. Riwoo carefully hands Woonhak the camera after grabbing his piece of film, and Woonhak gets the bright idea to tell them all to hold up their pictures that they’d just taken—Sungho’s fully developed, and the rest still at different stages of fade. Woonhak thinks it’s whimsical. It doesn’t matter if the tiny pictures come out all that clear or not, anyway. Woonhak just wants to have them all.

“Say cheese!” Woonhak says before he snaps his photo, holding up a simple peace sign.

“Cheese!”

“Cheese!”

“Cheese cat!”

“Woonhak our forever baby!”

“Woonhak must be getting annoyed with us already!”

Woonhak takes the picture, and immediately rolls his eyes once it starts printing. “You hyungs are seriously so immature.”

The moment Sungho takes back his camera, Taesan lunges and puts Woonhak into a headlock again, which they all enjoy with raucous laughter. It doesn’t take long for Jaehyun to draw on more of his boundless energy again, a mischievous smirk on his face as he asks, “Quick, who hasn’t been in the water yet today?”

“Lee Sanghyeok,” Sungho answers, devilish. Leehan points in Riwoo’s direction at the same time, and Riwoo’s eyes widen in anticipation.

Jaehyun grins, already making grabby hands in Riwoo’s direction, just like when they’d first arrived hours ago. “Come on, then!”

“Don’t you dare carry me!” Riwoo yells, the most impassioned thing he’s said all day. The four of them—minus Sungho, who’s holding up his camera to capture the action—move toward Riwoo anyway, who starts backing away into the shore. “Alright, alright! I’m going in by myself, you don’t have to throw me in—”

And Riwoo, in classic Riwoo fashion, holds his hands out in front of them as he backs up on his own, moonwalking into the water behind him, until he falls on his own into the oncoming wave. Jaehyun and Sungho laugh hysterically, and Woonhak and Taesan run over on instinct to help him, even through their own fits of laughter. Riwoo comes out of the water unscathed, laughing, shaking the water out of his hair and right into Woonhak and Taesan’s faces, all while Sungho captures it all. Woonhak gets distracted for one second—just taking the scene in, enjoying the moment—but it’s apparently enough time for Taesan to get away before Woonhak can think of it, and soon enough, Riwoo is wrapping himself against Woonhak’s midsection, trapping them both there until a new wave completely splashes them both.

Woonhak yelps again at that, but unmistakably, his heart is full of unbridled joy. The other four on the beach are holding their phones up now to take more pictures, the sun now fully set, the sky a dusky blue and just minutes away from giving way to the inky black night. Riwoo and Woonhak stay at the edge of the shore, their clothes now soaked, and when Riwoo splashes some water on him, Woonhak gives it right back.

They laugh and play until the sun goes down. It’s really been a while since they’ve been able to enjoy times like these, all together. Woonhak couldn’t be happier. His heart feels so full.

Later that night—after they’ve all showered and taken some alone time inside their respective cabins—they get together to have dinner around the bonfire, which Woonhak had ended up lighting with Taesan before everyone else decided to come back outside.

The night has fully set in now at half past eight, and they’re all eagerly waiting for some dinner after a whole day of playing around at the beach. The guesthouse auntie had brought out a charcoal grill for them to cook their meat on, and Woonhak’s mouth is watering at the smoky scent of cooked beef strips and pork belly, wafted toward their little picnic table by the sea breeze. Sungho is busy at the grill, ever their reliable chef, with Leehan as his little assistant, hovering over the side with a pair of kitchen scissors and periodically going into Jaehyun and Sungho’s cabin to check on a pot of ramyeon and an even bigger pot of rice. At the table, Jaehyun mixes up some random concoctions with the alcohol that they’d bought at the store, and Woonhak gives spirited reactions to his flashy movements while Taesan watches with a lazy smile. Riwoo, funnily enough, is still horizontal—lying on the bench with his head in Woonhak’s lap while Sungho is yet to take his place. The ocean waves crash periodically against the shore, and the atmosphere is so nice that Woonhak doesn’t mind giving Jaehyun an over-exaggerated Woah! when Jaehyun throws fish-shaped gummies into a soju-cider cocktail, says it’s for Leehan, calls it a masterpiece and insists he’s going to make one for all of them. Woonhak can’t wait to see what monstrosity Jaehyun’s going to cook up for him.

“Who wants a bite?”

“Me!”

Suddenly, Riwoo rises from Woonhak’s lap, all his supposed tiredness evaporating into thin air when Sungho walks over, holding a piece of meat between his tongs. Riwoo is on his feet immediately to accept it, and Woonhak stares at them longingly, now painfully aware of the growling in his stomach. Even more so when Riwoo exclaims, even as the meat is burning his tongue, “Wow, Park Sungho, you’re seriously the best. Seriously, that’s so good.”

“I want some, too!” Woonhak whines after them, making his best pouty face as he watches Riwoo walk back over to him, and Sungho back to the grill. “Sungho-hyung, just one piece?”

Sungho keeps his back turned, and Woonhak is about to sulk—but just before it happens, Sungho turns back around with a little smirk, and a piece of pork belly between his tongs.

“Since you asked so nicely,” Sungho says, rolling his eyes. “Careful, it’s hot.”

Woonhak’s eyes light up, and he does not heed that warning at all. The moment the meat touches his lips, his eyes widen with how good it is, nevermind the fact that it’s practically burning his tongue. “Sungho-hyung, you know I love you, right?”

Sungho gives him an amused, questioning look, but eventually, he nods. “Sure, aegi.”

Woonhak chuckles, recalling their little conversation from earlier in the day. Both his heart and his taste buds sing.

When he turns back to look at what’s happening around the table, he finds that Jaehyun’s making Taesan’s drink, which looks… frightening. Woonhak’s not sure how it got to be such a… dark color. Taesan scratches his head as he watches, and Woonhak realizes that Riwoo has taken one of the phones on the table to take a video of Jaehyun narrating his makeshift bartending process, saying things like, “...it may look intimidating at the start, but it’ll leave you with a warm feeling, just like our giant black cat here, Han Taesan. Not too much sweetness, but not too bitter, either, see? I really put a lot of thought into…”

Woonhak sits back as he watches everything unfold, letting himself stew in the laid-back atmosphere for now while Jaehyun livens things up enough for all of them. It’s been a while since Woonhak’s really felt relaxed like this. While he makes it a point to take breaks and let himself rest from time to time, he’s always been the fast-paced type; he’d learned a lot of that from Jaehyun and Taesan, who he’s looked up to the most for basically his whole life. Ever since he’d started working, even periods of rest were in service of keeping himself in good condition so that he could work again—low pressure periods where inspiration could strike, messy ideas could settle down into something coherent, and projects left unfinished could be looked at afterward with fresh eyes. It’s pretty common, with the creative nature of the field they’re in, and so Woonhak isn’t all that used to this: a time when he isn’t thinking about the next thing.

Right now, Woonhak is content within the parameters of these people, this place, this day. The next thing he waits for is the food he knows is coming, and Woonhak can allow himself a balance of patience and excitement; he’d learned that from Sungho. He doesn’t have to fill every beat of silence with noise, and the in-between lulls of boredom don’t have to be accompanied with the guilt of time wasted; Woonhak had learned that from Riwoo. He can slow down and crank up at the speed of his own whims, and he’ll be accepted with open arms, even if he gets teased a bit, here and there; Woonhak has always learned that from Leehan, who’s now walking out of the cabin toward their picnic table, rice and ramyeon in hand. 

Right now, everything that matters is right here. Woonhak doesn’t think too much about everything else. Earlier, Riwoo ended up having to patch up a cut that Sungho got on his calf somewhere along the way, probably when he was swimming in the water (Sungho had insisted that it didn’t even hurt, but Jaehyun wasn’t having it). Woonhak only has to worry about things like that. He only worries about if the polaroids they took turned out good—which they did—and he was delighted when Riwoo immediately put his new photo in his phone case, replacing the oldest one they took last New Year’s Eve. At this very moment, Woonhak’s biggest concern is the food that Leehan is setting down on their table, and also the fact that Jaehyun has made him a drink with an entire melona bar dunked inside of it. At this point, Riwoo is pleading with Jaehyun to just take the peach iced tea he’d asked them to get at the store, and mix it with with a splash of something that isn’t too strong. 

At the same time that Sungho walks over with a plate full of cooked meat, Leehan takes a sip of his gummy fish thing that Jaehyun made, and tells him, “Oh? This is kinda good?”

Jaehyun actually pumps his fist into the air like some cartoon character, and goes, “Ha! See, you guys can’t knock it ‘til you try it. Taesan-ah, you’re really hurting my feelings right now.”

Taesan sighs dramatically, pouting at Leehan. “You seriously had to encourage him? At least yours looks normal.”

Sungho ignores the commotion to announce, “Dinner’s ready!” before setting the plate down, and walking back toward the grill.

Riwoo calls out, “Sungho-yah, come and eat first.”

Leehan answers Taesan, “You dress up like that all the time. What’s in that, Jaehyun-hyung? Grape juice?”

“It’s literally just grape juice! He watched me make it! Riwoo even has a video!”

Woonhak exclaims, “Can you all stop bickering so I can take a bite? I’m so hungry.”

“No one’s stopping you, Woonagi,” Jaehyun laughs.

Woonhak huffs. “Sungho-hyung, come take a bite so I don’t get picked on for not having manners!”

“Make Riwoo or Jaehyun do it!” Sungho yells back, already busy with putting more servings of meat on the grill. “I’m just getting these started so you all don’t complain when it runs out later, idiots!”

“Well, he’s grum-py,” Riwoo singsongs in his always unexpectedly funny tone—and then he immediately picks up his chopsticks, grabs a piece of meat, and digs in without a care in the world.

Immediately, everyone stops their bickering, and Woonhak only gets a few seconds’ headstart before they all start competing for the freshly cooked meat. As expected, delicious is an understatement; the meat is juicy, cooked just the right amount, the smoky flavor mixing in with decadent fat and the perfect amount of salt. Woonhak doesn’t know how much of it he wolfs down with his bowl of rice before it’s all gone, and he moves on to the seafood ramyeon that Leehan had been working on in the kitchen. And Sungho was right, like he always is—because not long after, he arrives back at the table with another full plate of beef, and more servings of samgyeopsal already started up at the grill.

At that point, Riwoo actually just grabs Sungho’s shirt to pull him back toward the table instead of going back to keep cooking. And he doesn’t say anything, but he must give Jaehyun some kind of signal, because right on cue, he says, “Sungho-yah, sit down and eat first! I’ll handle the food. Everything is seriously so good. Oh, and I made you a drink, too!”

Woonhak is still amazed that that actually gets Sungho to sit down. If he thinks about it, he shouldn’t really be surprised—Sungho, Riwoo and Jaehyun have always had their own kind of weird telepathy, and he shouldn’t really be questioning it anymore. To be fair, they don’t always hang out all together, all six of them, so there must be things about every permutation of them that not everyone of them is clued in on. It’s completely fine, but of course, Woonhak is still fascinated by it. Woonhak learns day by day that friendship feels more and more strange instead of simple, the more he grows up.

“Yah, what did Jaehyun make for you?” Taesan asks across the table, eyeing Sungho’s suspiciously simple-looking drink.

Sungho just shrugs, picking up the glass. “Probably just some flavored soju and beer mix? With the cider. I don’t know, he does it at home.”

“Are you saying I won’t die if I drink this?” Taesan gestures at his own, pitch black concoction. “He could have at least put a melona in mine, too.”

Leehan laughs, reaching out to poke Taesan in the shoulder, “Jaehyun-hyung’s not gonna poison you, you know?”

“If you wanted a melona, you could’ve just asked,” Sungho chuckles, scooping out some rice to put in his bowl now. Woonhak takes the initiative to take some meat with his own chopsticks, and place the food into Sungho’s bowl without a word. Sungho grins happily when he says, “Thanks, Hak-ah.”

“Thanks for cooking for us, hyung,” Woonhak beams back, and then he takes the drink that Jaehyun had made for him, the ice cream bar now a little bit melted into the liquid. Cautiously, he takes a single sip. “Oh… that’s actually pretty good.”

“It is, right?” Leehan points in Woonhak’s direction, nodding enthusiastically.

Woonhak shrugs, setting his drink back down. It’s mostly sweet—almost dangerously so—like the ice cream with an extra kick. “I might actually get drunk if I’m not careful.”

Sungho calls out with a louder voice, “Myung Jaehyun! Sounds like they like your drinks!”

“Wait—” Jaehyun answers from the grill, “—are you guys drinking without me?”

“Well, not Taesan. He’s being a little scaredy cat.”

Taesan scoffs. “This is not fair. Why does my drink look like squid ink?”

“Yah, look, it’s literally just grape juice!” Woonhak scoffs teasingly, taking his phone from off the table, turning on the flashlight, and putting it up against Taesan’s glass to reveal the deep violet tinge, “See! And it’s mostly ice—just take a sip, dumbass—”

“Did you just call me a dumbass?” Taesan scoffs, a mischievous glint in his eye. Woonhak shrugs, emboldened for some reason, and he’s kind of amused when Taesan just says, “I’ll get my revenge on you somehow, Kim Woonhak.”

Riwoo slaps Woonhak in the arm, but that’s the extent of it. Jaehyun comes back with more servings of pork belly, and Taesan finally takes a sip of his drink. He says a simple, It’s fine, instead of admitting that it’s good, which Jaehyun takes as the highest praise—and when they’re all finally settled at the table together, Jaehyun is the one who raises a toast.

“Alright, enough bickering,” Jaehyun says as he raises his beer bottle, getting everyone else to put down their chopsticks and pipe down. “Cheers! Our Woonhak’s all grown up!”

Woonhak laughs at that, quick to wave them off. “Ah, come on, guys—”

“Cheers!”

“Cheers!”

“Cheers.”

“Han Taesan, one shot!”

“Hey,” Taesan says after bringing his pitch black drink to his lips, “fine. It’s actually not that bad.”

“I told you so!” Jaehyun whines, sitting back down with the rest of them. 

Woonhak takes a sip of his own drink, sickeningly sweet. He has to chase it with Riwoo’s spiked iced tea, the first glass he sees in front of him; luckily, Riwoo doesn’t seem to mind.

They spend a while after that just eating, now that they’re all gathered with all the food in front of them, hot and ready. Some of them who aren’t as busy with the food—mostly Sungho and Leehan—talk amongst themselves about random things in between bites, while the rest of them wolf down the food like they haven’t eaten in days. Woonhak interjects from time to time, chiming in with his opinions when they talk about a show that he also happens to be watching, or jumping to defend himself when Jaehyun brings up some funny story about him from when they were much younger. Overall, the atmosphere is light; everyone begins to loosen up a bit as they sip on their weird drinks, and the sounds of fire crackling and waves crashing are amplified in Woonhak’s ears now, underscored by the alcohol’s pleasant buzz. 

“You know,” Woonhak initiates after a beat of silence, when most of their plates are almost cleared, “this is the perfect vibe to have some deep talks. Like how every drama has that one episode where they go camping and stuff.”

Woonhak isn’t surprised when Jaehyun agrees easily. “Mm, you’re right. Do you wanna do a drinking game or something?”

“We don’t always have to make everything a game, hyung,” Woonhak waves it off. “We can just talk. Catch up. We have a nice vibe going.”

“Catch up?” Taesan laughs. “Like we don’t talk every day?”

“We don’t all talk everyday,” Woonhak shrugs. “And we don’t always just get to talk about anything, everyday. Now we can just talk about whatever. Like when we used to have sleepovers at Jaehyun’s house as kids.”

“Wow… that was so long ago,” says Sungho, lips formed into an interested pout. “No one’s stopping you, Woonhak. What did you wanna talk about with your hyungs?”

“I don’t really have anything!” Woonhak laughs, waving his hands in front of his face in denial. “I mean, I thought we’d just talk about the things we don’t usually get to talk about. Like—Taesan-hyung, you were thinking of switching jobs, right? How’s that going?”

Taesan stops midway into bringing a spoonful of rice to his mouth, eyes wide in amused surprise. “Me? All of a sudden?”

“I was just giving an example,” Woonhak pouts. “I mean, we only see each other once a month! I don’t really get to hear the details of what’s going on with you guys. I thought you liked your job, hyung.”

Taesan nods, understanding enough. He brings the spoonful of rice to his mouth and shrugs, “I do like my job. I was just, kind of… out of my mind, when I said that?” Taesan laughs, glancing subtly at Leehan and nudging their shoulders together. “I don’t know. I mean, I’m still there, so…”

“It was like some kind of slump?” Leehan explains casually. “Jaehyun-hyung, Woonhak, you’d probably get it, right?”

“Sure. When the creative process isn’t working, you jump to any possible reason,” Jaehyun answers.

“Oh. I guess so,” Woonhak nods, recalling his earlier thoughts about his scheduled periods of rest. “So it’s fine now?”

Taesan shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m trying to. I really like Wonjin-hyung and Jooyeon-hyung, but our pacing’s different.”

“I always say, you can come and work with me,” Jaehyun suggests. “My boss would hire you in an instant.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Taesan rolls his eyes, now turning to Woonhak, right in front of him. “And you? You’re doing really well on your own. I’m kind of jealous.”

“Of me?” Woonhak points to himself, shaking his head in disbelief. Both Jaehyun and Taesan have been working with indie music production teams since graduating college, and Jaehyun had found his perfect fit almost instantly, while Taesan had quit his first job before moving to his current one, which he seems to still be struggling with a little bit now. Still, it’s never changed the fact that they’ve both always been some of Woonhak’s greatest role models—a huge part of the reason he’d been able to work hard enough back at university to land an internship at a big entertainment company, the same one he works at now. “Hey, I wouldn’t have gotten my job without you. You’ll find what works, Taesan-hyung, I learned from the best.”

Taesan grins, staring at Woonhak through his eyelashes. “Really? I’m touched, Woonhak-ah. You’re such a sweet talker.”

“Wow, it’s like I’m invisible,” Jaehyun interjects.

“Shut up and read the room, hyung!” Woonhak teases, sticking his tongue out. Even Taesan laughs at that one, too. “I’m just saying I believe in him, is that so bad?”

“I’m literally doing fine, you were the one who brought it up.”

“You want me to take it back? Fine! I’ll only look up to Jaehyun-hyung from now on, then!”

Taesan smirks, teasing him right back. “Fine, that’s your loss.”

“You’re so petty, Taesan-hyung.”

“You know, if you don’t want us to tease you, then stop reacting like—” Taesan covers his mouth to laugh, “—like that! See, your eyes are all wide and everything, it’s really funny, I can’t help it!”

Woonhak closes his eyes upon getting caught, smiles in embarrassment as he takes a deep breath. “Thanks, I almost forgot that this is what it’s like being your guys’ youngest.”

“Right, how’s the whole four roommates thing going for you?” Leehan jumps in, now steering the conversation elsewhere while everyone else comes down from giggling at Woonhak’s outburst. “Be honest—do you like your other friends more than us?”

“Eyy, don’t be like that,” Woonhak sighs, exasperated. “You guys are all coupled off. I mean, Jaehyun-hyung and Sungho-hyung get to hear about each other’s lives all the time, and it’s the same with you and Taesan-hyung—so maybe you feel like we all tell each other everything, but Riwoo-hyung and I are out of the loop. Of course we have our own friends, too! Right, hyung?”

Woonhak turns to his left, nudging Riwoo for backup, who shakes his head and shrugs, “Technically, he’s right.”

“See!”

Leehan counters with, “Riwoo-hyung still loves us the most, though. He’s just always busy.”

“Hey, I have other friends. It’s not like I hole myself up like a hermit all the time,” Riwoo chuckles. 

Sungho raises an eyebrow. “You totally do.”

“No, I don’t!”

“I’m not saying you don’t have other friends, but you definitely only come out to go to work or see us.”

“And I talk to the people at work!”

“But you don’t open your heart to your co-workers more than us,” Leehan pouts, turning the conversation back to Woonhak. “Woonhak’s basically best friends with Choi Minje.”

“Yah! You guys are older than me, of course I made same-aged friends, too!”

“Wow, I’m jealous… Woonhak loves Minje and Ohyul and Yujin more than us…” Jaehyun says dramatically, clutching his chest.

Riwoo comes to his defense, shaking his head fondly. “You guys are so dramatic. Woonhakie’s doing so well, living with three other people for this long. I’d have ripped my hair out already.”

“Oooh,” Sungho says playfully, leaning into Riwoo’s side. “How’s your roommate doing? Seems like your hair’s still on your head.”

Riwoo shakes his head, lifts up his glass of iced tea, and takes a long sip before he shrugs, “I’m barely home, anyway. We work it out.”

“Lucky you,” Taesan pouts, also taking a sip from his now half-empty glass. “Rent is insane these days.”

“You guys still haven’t found a place?” Jaehyun asks, concerned. Leehan sighs, and that’s answer enough.

Woonhak asks, “I thought you guys had that apartment lined up? The one in Songpa?”

“Fell through,” Leehan sighs, while Taesan takes another drink. “The landlady found someone who could move in quicker.”

“Is that even legal?”

“Well, we hadn’t signed anything yet, so I guess not.”

“It was just rude,” Taesan rolls his eyes, clearly frustrated at the situation. “We’d already sat down over a meal and agreed and everything. But it’s not illegal to be rude, after all.”

Woonhak pouts. They’re certainly in a tough spot. Taesan and Leehan have been trying for over a year to find a place to move into together, after Taesan’s lease on his studio apartment ends. Leehan’s been living in his job’s provided accommodations for a while now, and it’s been convenient to be able to move quickly between home and the museum and the research lab—but as time passes, Woonhak understands that they’re all gradually trying to take their lives to the next step. And Leehan and Taesan specifically must be eager to finally find a home together after years of long-distance. Woonhak can’t fully understand what that must be like, but he can’t help but feel at least a little bit of their pain.

Unsurprisingly, Sungho is the one who swoops in to lift the mood. “None of us really have anything figured out at all, do we?”

Jaehyun chuckles at that, raising his glass. “I’ll drink to that.”

They all do the same, clink their glasses together, and take another shared moment to drink.

Taesan asks Sungho right after, piggybacking off of his little comment, “How about you, hyung? How’s that thing going with the museum curator?”

“Mm…” Sungho hums, scrunching his nose. “It’s fine. I feel like I’m learning a lot—but I still just… don’t know. I feel like I’ve been running out of time for years.”

“You’re barely 25,” Riwoo counters him gently, taking a sip of his own drink. “Calm down.”

Woonhak pouts at that, feeling the buzz a bit more as time passes. It’s starting to make him a bit emotional, all of them talking like this, even if he’d been the one to initiate in the first place.

It hits him, all of a sudden, how lucky he really is to have them. They may joke about Woonhak relying more and more on his same-aged friends, these days—and while Minje has certainly seen him through most of the ups and downs of his life, there’s always going to be something innately reassuring about having his older friends to always come home to, no matter how far he strays. Even now, as they’re progressively drinking more and more alcohol and maybe sharing a little bit too much, Woonhak feels the weight of how much he can rely on them; they’re these five, older boys who have made their own mistakes throughout their own lives, allowing Woonhak to learn from them, to avoid the same struggles that they’ve had. Of course, they could never shield him from everything—but Woonhak can’t imagine how much more he would have fumbled in life if he hadn’t had those five sets of footsteps as a guide on his own path, making the journey easier for Woonhak just by virtue of having walked the same roads before. He knows it’s not something that most people have when they’re the oldest in their family—and yet Woonhak has had them from the very beginning.

Naturally, it makes him a little bit protective of them, especially now that he’s a bit older himself. Woonhak still messes up from time to time, is still trying to learn the ropes of life and find his footing in a world that only seems to be getting bigger—and sometimes, that makes it easy to forget that though Sungho, Jaehyun, Riwoo, Taesan and Leehan are only three or four years older, they’re all still just figuring things out, too. In Sungho’s case, he’s been trying out a bunch of jobs over these past few years, doing a bunch of freelance photography or research jobs on the side while he tries to find something that actually sticks; as for Riwoo, he’s been working himself to the bone nonstop at a hospital job with grueling hours that no one knows if Riwoo actually really likes. There’s a part of Woonhak that feels simultaneously compelled to tell them that he’s proud of them, but also helpless to the possibility that his words alone might just fall flat, no matter how sincere. Woonhak wants to tell Sungho he deserves the time he’s taking to discover himself on his own terms, after having known him for so long as the person who always just runs without stopping, chasing perfection at every turn. Woonhak wants to tell Riwoo that he could stand to take a break, too—that he’s probably been through the most out of all of them in the whirlwind of these past years, and they all know it—and that they’re all just waiting for him to slowly, in his own time, open more of his heart to them again.

Woonhak almost says it all. He’s also now falling victim to the alcohol in his nearly-finished melona drink, and he knows he’s been staring at Sungho and Riwoo beside him, observing quietly so as not to break the silence.

Something stops him, though. Maybe that same, stifling feeling from earlier that his tipsy utterances could never measure up to all the silent hardship they both hide behind their kind eyes—and anyway, Sungho ends up breaking the silence first.

“And you?” Sungho asks Riwoo directly, “How are you? How’s work?”

And Riwoo, like he always does, shies away. “It’s fine. It’s work.”

There’s another beat of silence, the atmosphere now clearly shifted to something a bit more… mellow. Not deathly serious, but a few layers deeper beneath the surface, nonetheless.

“You know that’s not what we’re asking, though,” Jaehyun interjects, not unkindly. “You. How are you? We all know your hours are crazy. How are you actually holding up?”

Before Riwoo can answer, Taesan adds, “Yeah. You slept nearly the whole way here.”

Sungho brings it back around, giving him an out. He always tends to do that with Riwoo. Woonhak notices more and more as they get older. “Hope we didn’t tire you out too much.”

“Ah, I’m fine,” Riwoo chuckles, wrapping both hands around his glass. “I’m having a nice time. You know I don’t like talking about work too much.”

Surprisingly, Leehan is the one who decides to push further—and he takes the words right out of Woonhak’s mouth.

“You always just say your work’s exhausting, hyung,” Leehan pouts. “Don’t you wanna do something you’re excited about? Or, you know… you could talk to us when you’re having a hard time, too. It’s not like we want you to just be funny all the time. We worry about you, too.”

“I know,” Riwoo answers, surprisingly calm. He turns his head in Sungho’s direction, who raises an eyebrow when Riwoo asks, “Were you guys planning this? Why bring it up all of a sudden?”

“No?” Sungho huffs. “It’s only natural to wonder how you’re doing if you never tell us.”

“You’re so stubborn,” Woonhak mumbles right after, deepening his pout when Riwoo meets his sudden utterance with wide eyes. “We just want you to be happy, hyung. Your job’s really hard and you never want to talk about it…”

“Look, you guys know me—” Riwoo says with a laugh as Woonhak trails off, gently clapping him on the shoulder, “—and I don’t hate my job. It’s fine. I don’t do exciting things because I’m actually excited about sleeping and staying home all day when I’m not working. I mean, what if I just want to live my life and then take fun little trips like this every once in a while? That’s kind of the dream already.” Riwoo stops in his tracks when Woonhak opens his mouth to speak, but he quickly shoots it down— “Woonhak-ah, I know you’re gonna say I can dream bigger than that—but what if I just don’t want to? I’m not saying I never will, but even if I never do, is that not okay, too?”

Woonhak looks at him sadly, his pout growing even deeper—but Riwoo doesn’t seem keen on giving in. So, instead, Woonhak just sighs, all eyes on him now as they wait for his response. He ends up just conceding, “Okay. I guess you’re right. As long as you know I love you, hyung.”

“Aww—” Jaehyun coos, almost squeals—maybe a little too excited for the somber atmosphere. “Oh, that’s so cute.”

“Everyone here’s still just a hot fucking mess, huh?” Sungho shakes his head fondly, picking his glass back up from the table and waiting until everyone else follows suit. “Enough deep talks for you, Woonhak-ah? Can we start another round with some drinking games or something now?”

“God, please,” Taesan answers, standing up to quickly clink his glass against Sungho’s. “You’re all being so serious. Jaehyun-hyung was staring daggers at me this whole time.”

“I wasn’t doing anything!” Jaehyun protests, clinking his glass against Leehan’s. “Everyone was having a moment. I was immersed in the vibe.”

Woonhak clinks his glass against Riwoo’s, and they promptly finish both their drinks. Taesan just replies with, “Whatever. Come on, last two to the bonfire have to clean this all up!”

Sungho protests, “Oh, you are not making me clean this up when I cooked half of that table for you!”—and then, sure enough—chaos ensues.

Woonhak rushes to get out of his seat, and he’s not all that sure of what happens after that. All he knows is that he gets to the fire first, Sungho doesn’t move an inch away from the picnic table, casually sipping his drink, and the rest of them trip over each other to sit around the bonfire, minus Riwoo who scolds Taesan about making them all run at full-speed towards an open fire. In the end, Jaehyun and Riwoo agree to clean up their dinner table, and Sungho walks over with a new round of drinks—six bottles of beer from the cooler—telling them that they can leave the cleaning for later. They sit in a circle around the fire, and Woonhak pats Jaehyun’s head when he starts to cling to his arm, too happy to pretend he isn’t more at ease from the familiar warmth.

They continue to drink and talk as the night deepens, telling stories, making jokes, playing games—going wherever the conversation takes them. Woonhak allows himself to loosen up a bit more, bask in the moment; there’ll still be tomorrow, even when tonight comes to an end.

Later that night—actually, probably closer to 1 in the morning—Leehan sits quietly on the landing of his and Taesan’s cabin, letting the sea breeze brush softly against his flushed face.

It’s been a long, but fun night. Leehan’s had his moments of chaos throughout the evening, little bursts of energy as all of them got progressively more inebriated, but now he’s starting to mellow down. Taesan’s already inside their cabin, freshening up in the bathroom a bit before deciding if he wants to go to bed, or go back and keep hanging out with the others; Leehan seriously can’t fathom how they’re all still up with so much energy until now—but then, again, they’ve always been like that. Jaehyun and Woonhak alone are a force, Sungho feeds off of them, and Riwoo has no problem keeping up with them if he wants to. Earlier, Taesan had managed to call up his old college roommate to ask if they could use his guitar, and the last thing they were doing before Leehan left to get some air was just playing random songs on the instrument, singing along whenever they felt like it. Maybe they still are—Leehan knows from experience that the musicians among them get inspiration at the most unexpected times—or maybe they’ve moved on to something else now that there’s less of them cramped into Jaehyun and Sungho’s cabin. Maybe Woonhak’s succumbed to the alcohol now, and is basically dead asleep.

Right now, Leehan enjoys the slowness, the quiet. His hair is blown softly in every which way by the gentle wind, kicked up by the waves of the sea in front of him. Inky black water catches moonlight, and his breathing follows the pattern of the faraway sound of water crashing onto the shore. His eyelids are a little bit heavy as the alcohol now catches up to him—but he’s not ready to go to sleep quite yet. He wants to enjoy this a little bit longer. Leehan has always loved the ocean; it’s always reminded him of home.

The other two cabins on the farther side are quieter, now. Earlier, when Leehan had first left, he could still faintly hear the sounds of them laughing, singing songs over the strums of an old acoustic guitar. Perhaps Leehan has tuned it out, or maybe they’ve all fallen asleep, or maybe they’ve moved on to talking about some more serious things like they did at dinner, except more drunk and probably more open. Maybe Leehan should go back to witness that, but he’s also a little too lazy to get up from the comfortable position he’s now in, listening to the background sounds of nature that he never gets to hear in the city, coupled with the faint noises of whatever his boyfriend’s doing inside their cabin.

And then, unexpectedly—Leehan spots movement out of the corner of his eye, and he watches carefully for the first few seconds, turning his head slowly to look.

It’s Riwoo. He’s far enough in the distance that maybe he doesn’t notice that Leehan’s even looking at him, and he walks out of Jaehyun and Sungho’s cabin, leisurely making his way to his own—but Woonhak isn’t following after him. So maybe he is still hanging out with Jaehyun and Sungho, their energy boundless even after god knows how many rounds of drinks.

“Hyung!” Leehan calls him, just loud enough to be heard over the distance and the waves.

Leehan waves him over with his hand, and Riwoo, unsurprisingly, follows easily enough. He continues walking in a straight line instead of turning to walk into his and Woonhak’s cabin, making his way over to where Leehan is instead.

Seconds later, Riwoo is walking up in front of him. Leehan scoots over, pats the space beside him on the landing, before leaning back onto his palms again to watch the sea. Riwoo doesn’t really say anything; he smiles and then sits down, and that’s that. It’s comfortable. Riwoo has always been comfortable with him, and Leehan is grateful for it—especially since Riwoo’s gotten a bit more distant with all of them over the years.

“Were you about to head to bed?” Leehan asks after some time passes, voice a little raspy from the alcohol.

“Maybe,” Riwoo answers easily, fixing Leehan with a smile. “Wanted some air, too, I guess.”

“Even I can’t keep up with those three,” Leehan laughs, looking over at the cabin where Riwoo had just been. “Are they still awake?”

“Still up and talking, yeah.”

“Were you getting sleepy?”

“I don’t know. Not really.”

“You’re usually still awake at this time, probably. Right?”

Riwoo chuckles, nods his head. “Mm. Usually.”

“We can just relax, then,” Leehan smiles back, easygoing, “enjoy the view.”

Riwoo hums. He leans forward, hands on his knees, while Leehan leans back, palms flat against the floor behind him. Leehan doesn’t pay him too much attention for those few moments that they sit in silence again—and the air between them isn’t awkward, but there’s an undeniable thread of tension, too. As far as Leehan remembers, the two of them have always been comfortable sitting in silence; but then, if he thinks about it some more now, he doesn’t remember the last time that they actually did. It’s definitely been years, he thinks. Riwoo hasn’t always been a person who’s so hard to get alone—but now he is. Leehan’s not really sure when that shifted. He doesn’t always think about those things too hard.

What he does know is that in terms of this, they’ve always matched fairly well. Leehan has always found it easy to be in Riwoo’s company; the two of them have always moved through the world a bit slower, after all. Perhaps it’s just manifested in different ways for them both as the years passed by. Perhaps it’s the reason why Leehan had been so possessed to ask Riwoo the kind of question he did at dinner, blindly prodding for… something. Perhaps that contributes to the tension that’s brewing between them now.

Maybe it’s that Leehan can clearly recall a time when the two of them were close—a lot closer than Riwoo probably is with any of them now—but it’s the type of thing that Leehan can only really realize in hindsight, now that that time is over. It was gone before either of them really ever knew it. And that’s fine—Leehan has always been the type of person to accept change as it comes. He’s never thought of any one relationship as less or more at any particular point in time. It’s just different, now. When it comes to his friendship with Riwoo, that difference doesn’t mean it’s any less meaningful or sincere. It’s just… not the same. And Leehan is more comfortable with not-the-sameness than most people, he thinks. It’s just the way he’s built.

So he doesn’t really have any malice in his heart when he turns to look at Riwoo, and then looks back out at the ocean once he’s caught his attention, saying, “Remember when we used to talk about getting a house on the beach?”

He’s met with a beat of silence. Leehan had expected that much, so he simply waits. Either Riwoo picks it up, or he doesn’t. Leehan doesn’t mind either.

“...You remembered that, all of a sudden?”

Leehan chuckles, eyes still focused forward. “It’s not sudden. We are on the beach.”

“Mm. Fair.” Riwoo nods. “You’ve always wanted to take us to Busan. We never got to do it.”

“This is a start. Gangneung’s not half bad.”

“Sure. But you think Busan’s better.”

“Well, nothing beats home.”

Riwoo smiles. “Yeah. Definitely not.”

Leehan sighs at that, ache clawing at his chest, all of a sudden. Being hyper-aware of the not-the-sameness also means that Leehan always feels it more, too—and in this moment, it’s glaringly clear. He knows that he and Riwoo both know what Leehan was talking about when he mentioned getting a house on the beach, that that didn’t mean the six of them, like Riwoo had said. He’d steered them away from it, but now it’s an even more obvious reminder of that old time, when they were, effectively, best friends. Leehan was the first person that Riwoo had talked to after moving to their town, after all. They were attached at the hip until they weren’t, and neither of them really ever acknowledged that shift, because there isn’t a singular moment that they can attach it to. All they have is pieces of memories—like Leehan and Riwoo fantasizing about a beach house in Busan, a quiet place for the two of them to go because they’re constantly around so much that’s so loud. A quiet place just like this.

“It was so easy to just imagine things like that, back then, huh?” Leehan muses. “Now Taesan and I can’t even find an apartment.”

“Well, we aren’t kids anymore. Now we have to deal with worldly realities.”

“Yeah. I guess so. I remember when you were stressing out, looking for a place to live before.”

“And I got one through pure luck and nepotism. Or maybe Sungho and Jaehyun were sick of me living at their place and needed to throw me out.”

“They wouldn’t do that,” Leehan nudges their shoulders together, laughing softly. “I am kind of jealous, though. I’d say you have the nicest apartment out of all of us, you know?”

“Debatable,” Riwoo scoffs, eyebrow raised. “I don’t even invite you guys over there that much.”

“Well, you should. It’s such a nice place. Intak-hyung’s kind of loaded, right?”

Riwoo makes a face. “I don’t know about that—but he certainly had a one-year headstart on me, with a job and all. I just got to freeload.”

“I guess you meant what you said that you guys work it out,” Leehan says, recalling their earlier conversation at the dinner table. “Do you really not talk to him at all? I can’t imagine living like that with Jiseok-hyung. Then again, I guess Jiseok-hyung and I have the same job, so…”

“We do… talk more, these days,” Riwoo almost just whispers, words softened by a laugh. “He’s a good guy.”

“Better than he was when you went on that date before?”

“Oh, I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“No,” Riwoo laughs, turning to look at him, shoulders relaxing the slightest bit. “I don’t.”

Leehan feels the ache in his chest, but he doesn’t let it win.

“How are you and Taesan?” Riwoo asks first this time, after a shorter stretch of quiet. Leehan smiles at the question, listens for the faint noises coming from inside. He must be taking another shower.

“We’re okay,” Leehan answers, warmth dripping from his tone. “This whole apartment thing’s been hard… and I know he’s kind of feeling all of it more than I am. I just… I want to be there for him. But the whole worldly realities thing is really hard, you know?” Leehan leans forward with a heavy exhale, a million thoughts brewing in his mind while Riwoo listens intently. “I’m just glad we don’t have to do the long-distance thing anymore. I know he had a really hard time with it. More than I did.”

Riwoo hums. He doesn’t say anything, except, “I’m glad you have each other. I know how much you love him. I’m sure he does, too.”

“I would hope so,” Leehan purses his lips. “You know how I am. I think if you love someone, you should tell them. In whatever way you can.”

Riwoo nods, and stares out into the horizon. “Yeah.”

Another silence falls over them after that. Leehan doesn’t even know what they’re really talking about anymore—but it feels like more than what was contained all of those words.

“I missed talking to you, Leehan-ah.”

Leehan feels it like a pang in his chest. They used to be best friends. They aren’t anymore—but just as it had been with Sungho, Jaehyun, Taesan, and eventually Woonhak when they all left him in their hometown—Leehan knows so clearly that there isn’t any love lost. It’s just a matter of figuring out how to keep showing it, when the circumstances change. And they never stop changing. They never will.

“I miss it, too,” Leehan answers, pushing past the pressure building up behind his ears. “I don’t know about everyone else, but I always just hesitate whenever I think of approaching you first. I don’t know when that happened. We used to tell each other everything.”

At that, Riwoo hangs his head. “Yeah… that’s my fault, though. I pulled away.”

“We just drifted apart. It’s no one’s fault,” Leehan says—and it’s not a lie. “It just happens.”

And it did, with them. But they still remember their old conversations, can still reminisce on the moments of the past that are a hazy mirror of the two of them, right here. Now. Riwoo is the same person that he was back then—but he’s also not. There are things about him now that Leehan doesn’t know. That doesn’t mean he ever stopped wanting to.

“Hyung,” Leehan chews at his lip, eyes glued to the sandy ground. “Sorry about earlier. if I struck a nerve.”

“Hm?” Riwoo looks at him, confused. “What do you mean?”

“At dinner,” Leehan says sheepishly. “Asking you about your job.”

Riwoo gives him a look, incredulously amused. He nudges their shoulders together again when he says, “That was nothing. I’m not even thinking about it, so don’t worry. Okay?”

“Okay,” Leehan shrugs, chest tightening. “But I meant what I said. I meant what I said just now, too. I wish we could still talk like this every once in a while. I want to know how you’re doing. I wish you’d open up to me again… or, I guess, it would be good to know that you open up to anyone. I think I’d be okay with that much.”

Riwoo stares at him, lips parted. Pensive. Leehan’s not really drunk enough to reasonably blame this on the alcohol. Usually, he’d let Riwoo be; usually, they all do. 

“You know,” Riwoo chuckles, a little bit nervous, “it’s not like I don’t want to. It’s just… I— I don’t want to burden you, either.”

“That’s what friends are for, though.” Leehan presses his lips into a thin line. “You know, Riwoo-hyung, you’re allowed to do what you want, too. Sure—no one’s going to stop you from sleeping all day and never leaving your house, but—”

“I went on a beach trip with my best friends, didn’t I?” Riwoo counters, grinning slightly. “It’s… it’s funny you guys keep saying that, actually. I guess it has been a while since I did something that I really want.”

Leehan nods. It kind of feels surreal that they’re talking again. It hurts his heart a bit. “Yeah?”

“Can I tell you something?” Riwoo laughs. He doesn’t actually wait for Leehan to answer. “I was dreading this, for a while. I knew I wanted to spend time with all of you, but I was… I don’t know. I guess I’m really not used to doing the things I want. I still feel guilty, a lot of the time.”

That makes enough sense. Riwoo’s always lived with this sense of duty hanging over his head—studying hard, earning scholarships, landing a job, supporting his family in any way he can. In a way, Riwoo is right—he was the one who’d pulled away from them all—but that doesn’t mean Leehan blames him for it. None of them do, even if it hurt a little. Leehan thinks they all have an unspoken understanding not to add to the weight that’s already on his shoulders, held over his head. Now, Riwoo’s working grueling hours as a nurse at an emergency room in a city as busy as Seoul, and none of them can fathom even remotely what that’s like—and so they never know what questions to ask. Riwoo has gotten too good at shutting them down right after, How are you? Are you eating properly? Are you getting enough sleep? You know you can come to us if you need anyone, right?

“It’s weird, though, lately,” Riwoo continues, Leehan left hanging onto his every word. “I have been slipping, a lot. I do things just ‘cause I want to.” Riwoo turns to look at him, his gaze cryptic, somehow still not giving anything away. In a second, the expression disappears before Leehan can really study it—and Riwoo looks back out at the sea. “I still feel a little bad, though. Look at us now. I still get to talk to you like this even if the last time we were close was years ago. Before any of us even went to Seoul. I haven’t done anything like this for you in so long, and here you are. Listening. I better shut up before I say everything I haven’t said to any of you since… well, I don’t know.”

Leehan takes in a sharp breath, the beginnings of tears pooling in his eyes. Riwoo says it all so casually, so easily—like he’s practiced it a million times in his head, saved for a moment exactly like this. 

“It can be ten minutes or ten years, hyung,” Leehan looks off to the side, blinks away his tears, “we can talk like we did before. Catch up. You don’t have to feel guilty about that. Not with me, not with any of us. We never stop caring about you, no matter how long it’s been. I care about you—even if we’re different than we were back then.”

Leehan looks back at him afterward, properly—and he’s surprised to find Riwoo busy wiping away his own tears with the backs of his hands, trying to play it off with a soft laugh.

Leehan moves closer, brings an arm around his shoulder, taps gently at the side of Riwoo’s arm. His own wave of tears has passed at this point, and he’s happy to just stay here with him, to let his words go without a response for now. Leehan’s old enough to know now that it’s not as easy for everyone, blurring the lines between change and loss—and it’s more than reasonable to assume that Riwoo had mourned something about their old closeness, even if Leehan has never seen it as something they’d lost.

After a while, Riwoo lets out a long sigh. He moves away from Leehan’s side, slumps his shoulders as he looks out at the view in front of him—and for a moment, it feels truly like they’re two, hazy impressions of the people they used to be, when they were young enough to dream endlessly about the beach house they never had and the people they never became. Maybe that is something to mourn—but Leehan has never liked wasting grief on things that are still real, and present. Changed as they may be.

“Leehan-ah,” Riwoo whispers, the sentiment carried gently away by the sea breeze, “I never told you this back then, but that short time when we were best friends—” Riwoo smiles, “—I was really happy.”

Riwoo means it. Leehan can tell that he does. It’s been a long time since Riwoo has opened up about something this real. “I know, hyung. I was, too.”

Leehan leaves out the implied, I hope you find that same happiness now, too. 

But he supposes that’s a conversation for another time. It’s enough that Riwoo had even opened up at all. It’s not the same—but it’s a start.

With the moon high above them and the waves still crashing softly against the shore, the night comes to an end, peaceful and slow.